crime and politics

Bored Tennessee Lawmaker Vandalizes Her Own Desk

“OMG REP TN 4 LYFE” is what Hooters girl-turned Republican Tennessee Rep. Julia Hurley wanted to carve into her desk in the state House chamber, but she only got to her initials before she saw something shiny and got distracted. And now she has to pay for her vandalism, even though she does not understand what the big deal is, you guys.

House Speaker Beth Harwell said Tuesday that Rep. Julia Hurley’s initials will be removed at the fellow Republican lawmaker’s expense.

“In the excitement of being a freshman at the end of session, Representative Hurley etched her initials into her desk,” said Harwell, a Nashville Republican.

Julia Hurley rolls her eyes and smacks her gum at this desk thing, because “It was like 1 in the morning on the last day of the session,” so she had her mind on more important things, like chicken wings and lip gloss. [AP]

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110 comments

  1. Texan_Bulldog

    Wonder what she wrote on the bathroom stall door?

    And how much worse can she be than Marsha Blackburn?

  2. DoktorThompson

    She should try the ol' carve-a-backwards-B-in-her-own-face trick to get out of this one.

  3. tcaalaw

    Hooters girl-turned Republican Tennessee Rep. Julia Hurley

    How is The Onion still in business when stuff like this is real?

    1. Amo_of_Bogio

      "Hurley owns and operates JaCy Co., which sells collegiately licensed sports apparel and tailgating merchandise at SECGrillToppers.com." …plus a child when she was 15…
      So not just an ex-Hoosterville girl, I'm thinking to buy some shares in this one.

  4. Sue4466

    So, it's not just the Republicans in the US Senate and House who act like dumbass teenagers?

  5. BarackMyWorld

    Sorry, but Tennessee is going to have a lot of catching up to do before Arizona's in any danger of losing their lead in the annual Dumbest State contest.

    1. Beowoof

      Alabama and Mississippi are formidable opponets when it comes the Dumbest State, and lets not forget Texas has not seceeded yet.

    2. FlownOver

      Ah, but you overlook the Sunflower State, home to "God hates America," Shoot the illegalz from helicopters" and "We don' need no steenkin' art!"

      Oh, and also home to Koch Industries. That's good for the tie-breaker, at least.

  6. Steverino247

    It takes between two and five minutes for the asshole downfister to strike. It would take me between two and five seconds to whup his ass.

      1. Barb

        I just saw that downfister has changed his avatar to a blood filled hypodermic needle and is following me, as usual. Love ya like a cold sore!

          1. BarryOPotter

            OMG!!! I had so many of those last night that this morning's bike ride to work had more sketchy moments than usual! Bitte ein Bit, por favor, gracias, und merci!

          2. Steverino247

            Got to go there when I was stationed in Germany. Nothing like the brew where it's brewed. The "home town" brew in Pirmasens, Parkbrau, was pretty good, too.

    1. Beowoof

      Hey a tough stud like that, who does all his fighting on the internent hiding behind an alias should not be taken too lightly. Take an aluminum bat and do the job right. And while your at it, fuck up his, Mom's basement.

    2. Oblios_Cap

      What a hard-core culture warrior he is, what with his running outta Cheetos and Mom not being home (she's out hooking to support his MacDonalds habit) to run out and bring more to him down in the basement.

  7. BaldarTFlagass

    She probably wrote something like "Class of '11 Forevah" or something in white shoe polish on the back window of her car.

    1. zhubajie

      So there's a born-again Hooters competitor? With little gauzy veils or whatever over the mammaries?

  8. the_problem_child

    She should have used her pink revolver to make the holes all the way through.

  9. ttommyunger

    I simply file this under "Suspicions Confirmed" re. 90% of our current crop of political actors from all parties.

  10. currencywidget

    I can't wait to hear the howling from the same Reich-wingers and Faux News ball-garglers who screamed about the missing "W's" from the computer keyboards during the Clinton to Bush transition.

  11. WinterOuthouse

    Big tits and whiskey are all the credentials needed for a TN rep. Minnesota, take note.

  12. bumfug

    "She said in the article that her Hooters career taught her how [to] overcome obstacles on her way to the state Capitol. 'If I could make it at Hooters, I could make it anywhere,' she wrote."

    "Like, one of my boobs was bigger than the other one and the little one was pretty lumpy but I trusted in the Lord and he blessed me with customers who looked at my titties anyway. And the constitution, also."

      1. Beowoof

        I don't know, those beaver teeth are really ready for an ear of corn through a chainlink fence.

      2. ShaveTheWhales

        From the bio of the writer of the column:

        David Oatney is a freelance political writer, blogger, and conservative activist. He is active in local Republican and municipal politics, and…

  13. CapnFatback

    The following note has been confiscated from Rep. Hurley and must now be read to the entire assembly:

    "Do you like me?
    ☐ Yes
    ☐ No
    ☑ Screw the brownskins and pass the buffalo sauce"

  14. Amo_of_Bogio

    "Hurley owns and operates JaCy Co., which sells collegiately licensed sports apparel and tailgating merchandise at SECGrillToppers.com."…plus a child when she was 15…

  15. rambone

    FTA: Hurley, 29, of Lenoir City, said she doesn't remember what she used to cut her initials into the desk. "To ask me details about what happened three months ago, I couldn't tell you," Hurley said.

    Ladies and gentlemonkies! I present your next Ronald Reagan!

    1. Negropolis

      That is a gem of a comment, it is. You fuckers can't expect a representative to remember shit, can you? How dare you.

  16. Amo_of_Bogio

    http://www.wbir.com/news/article/162367/2/Rep-cau

    She's a pistol, this one and can mangle a sentence with the best .

    Friday, 10News spoke with Rep. Hurley about the tape. She said she was sorry for what she said. "I can realize my mistakes and it should be apologized for," she said. 

    She added, "my number one concern is not a speeding ticket. It's the jobs and the future of the people for the people of Roane County."

    1. MilwaukeeKent

      That statement alone qualifies her for a cabinet level position in the Palin Administration. She can realize her mistakes and it should be apologized for.

  17. Barb

    Let's go OT for a sec. Sarah said tonight, "It's not time to retreat, it's time to reload" about the debt ceiling. Does this bitch have amnesia or something?

    1. HistoriCat

      Probably just thought "that's a great line – I should work that in." No recollection of using it before or any idea of why it might be inappropriate.

      1. Barb

        Agreed Histori! I sent the story to Kirsten. Let's lock and load our snark for a reply. Meet me there when the story is posted, please.

    2. donner_froh

      She may have a dim recollection of using retreat/reload at some point in the past and hearing people applaud and cheer. With that shard of memory to prod her she decided to say it again. Context means nothing to these people.

  18. donner_froh

    Julia Hurley may be a victim of medical malpractice–the surgeon stuffed the twin 400cc bags of medical grade silicone into her head instead of behind the muscles of her chest.

  19. pinkocommi

    You mean, she didn't get "OMG REP TN 4 LYFE" tattooed as a tramp stamp on her lower back? Now, that would be classy!

  20. TX_Bluebonnets

    Hey, all this means is No Child Left Behind is working.

    She knew her initials, people! The police (or sergeant at arms?) knew them, too!

    There is no crisis! It's STILL Morning in America!

    Boobies and chicken wings for everyone!

  21. MiniMencken

    Her company sells some Arkansas Razorbook material, but not the red plastic pig-shaped hat. Big mistake. Huge.

  22. mavenmaven

    “It was like 1 in the morning on the last day of the session… and I was on a meth binge so I might have done it with my teeth. Lucky they didn't notice that I peed all over the file cabinet"

  23. fuflans

    the fuck people?!?!? did she raise your taxes or give you personal abortions?!?!?!?

    i didn't think so.

  24. flamingpdog

    Remember when getting elected was about argumentation rather than augmentation?

    Good night all, tomorrow's another daze.

  25. DashboardBuddha

    "In the excitement of being a freshman at the end of session, Representative Hurley etched her initials into her desk,"

    Just be glad she didn't wet herself or throw up. That's usually what over-excited, over-tired children do.

  26. MLHencken

    What they failed to report was how Virginia Foxx (aka Crazy Eyez Granny) was, at the very same time, going nuts and throwing her bloomers at Eric Cantor.

    By the way, Virginia Foxx? Really, my brain can just not get around the cognitive dissonance of a mean old GOP lady with a pornstar name. The double letter x makes it sexy!

    This is what I get for spending too much time with Miz Wonkett.

  27. NorthStarSpanx

    House Speaker Beth Harwell v. Representative Julia Hurley: I smell an Alaska Senate Leader Lyda Green vs. Sarah Palin enmity here.

  28. littlebigdaddy

    Well, by Tenn Repub standards, this woman is a class act. Notice that she did not blame the deed on the gays, the blacks, or Darwin.

  29. ibwilliamsi

    It's not as though she was actually participating in the session in any meaningful way to begin with.

  30. SilverTsunami

    "B-caws it was, like, one in the morning? On the last, like, day of the session? And I sooooo had my mind on other things? Like if I could get my own reality show?"

  31. sportshort

    "Like, what's the big deal? At Hooters I carved my initials on all the tables. While I was bent over them. I am so sure."

Comments are closed.