crime and politics

Bored Tennessee Lawmaker Vandalizes Her Own Desk

“OMG REP TN 4 LYFE” is what Hooters girl-turned Republican Tennessee Rep. Julia Hurley wanted to carve into her desk in the state House chamber, but she only got to her initials before she saw something shiny and got distracted. And now she has to pay for her vandalism, even though she does not understand what the big deal is, you guys.

House Speaker Beth Harwell said Tuesday that Rep. Julia Hurley’s initials will be removed at the fellow Republican lawmaker’s expense.

“In the excitement of being a freshman at the end of session, Representative Hurley etched her initials into her desk,” said Harwell, a Nashville Republican.

Julia Hurley rolls her eyes and smacks her gum at this desk thing, because “It was like 1 in the morning on the last day of the session,” so she had her mind on more important things, like chicken wings and lip gloss. [AP]

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Blair Burke obsessively follows Michelle Obama's every move and fashion decision for Wonkette's The FLOTUS Files feature, which appears here every Monday.

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Comments

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  • Texan_Bulldog

    Wonder what she wrote on the bathroom stall door?

    And how much worse can she be than Marsha Blackburn?

    • nounverb911

      For a good time, call Beth Harwell.

    • PsycWench

      Nancy Pelosi iz a slutt

    • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      None worse. That's how much worse. None worse.

    • http://Wonkette.com ProudLibunatic

      …here I sit all brokenhearted, tried to shit and only farted.

  • nounverb911

    At least she didn't quit halfway through the session.

  • Callyson

    She was just bored because no one can talk about teh gays anymore in Tennessee…

  • DoktorThompson

    She should try the ol' carve-a-backwards-B-in-her-own-face trick to get out of this one.

  • tcaalaw

    Hooters girl-turned Republican Tennessee Rep. Julia Hurley

    How is The Onion still in business when stuff like this is real?

    • Amo_of_Bogio

      "Hurley owns and operates JaCy Co., which sells collegiately licensed sports apparel and tailgating merchandise at SECGrillToppers.com." …plus a child when she was 15…
      So not just an ex-Hoosterville girl, I'm thinking to buy some shares in this one.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Who slipped her the wine-cooler, though?

  • Sue4466

    So, it's not just the Republicans in the US Senate and House who act like dumbass teenagers?

  • BarackMyWorld

    Sorry, but Tennessee is going to have a lot of catching up to do before Arizona's in any danger of losing their lead in the annual Dumbest State contest.

    • OhNoGuy

      AZ – the Pin Head State!!

    • Beowoof

      Alabama and Mississippi are formidable opponets when it comes the Dumbest State, and lets not forget Texas has not seceeded yet.

    • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      Ah, but you overlook the Sunflower State, home to "God hates America," Shoot the illegalz from helicopters" and "We don' need no steenkin' art!"

      Oh, and also home to Koch Industries. That's good for the tie-breaker, at least.

      • lurch394

        Ahhh, Kansas!

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          As in, "What's the matter with."

        • Negropolis

          The Witch Burning Capital of America!

  • Steverino247

    It takes between two and five minutes for the asshole downfister to strike. It would take me between two and five seconds to whup his ass.

    • Barb

      And it would take me 45 seconds to fetch you a beer after you did so.

      • Barb

        I just saw that downfister has changed his avatar to a blood filled hypodermic needle and is following me, as usual. Love ya like a cold sore!

      • Steverino247

        Oh, that would be very sweet of you. I think a Bitburger would be nice.

        Go here for it: http://www.bitburger.com/

        LOL

        • http://tonguepunch.insanejournal.com/ Andrew Drinker

          Bitte ein Bit!

          • BarryOPotter

            OMG!!! I had so many of those last night that this morning's bike ride to work had more sketchy moments than usual! Bitte ein Bit, por favor, gracias, und merci!

          • Steverino247

            Got to go there when I was stationed in Germany. Nothing like the brew where it's brewed. The "home town" brew in Pirmasens, Parkbrau, was pretty good, too.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        Could be longer in Minnesota, though.

    • Beowoof

      Hey a tough stud like that, who does all his fighting on the internent hiding behind an alias should not be taken too lightly. Take an aluminum bat and do the job right. And while your at it, fuck up his, Mom's basement.

    • Oblios_Cap

      What a hard-core culture warrior he is, what with his running outta Cheetos and Mom not being home (she's out hooking to support his MacDonalds habit) to run out and bring more to him down in the basement.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    She probably wrote something like "Class of '11 Forevah" or something in white shoe polish on the back window of her car.

    • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      Followed by "Class of '12 Forevah," "Class of '13 Forevah," et cetera, ad infinitum – or ultimately "G.E.D Forevah."

  • arihaya

    she has intelligence and habit of a 4th grader,,

    • http://t.co/83Yq8x9 smokefilleddoommate

      Which begs the game show 'Are You Smarter Than A Freshman Republican State Representative?'

  • SudsMcKenzie

    In my excitement of "being a freshman", I would just get hammered.

  • __kth__

    Five bucks says she's a born-again ex-cleavage-monger.

    • zhubajie

      So there's a born-again Hooters competitor? With little gauzy veils or whatever over the mammaries?

  • the_problem_child

    She should have used her pink revolver to make the holes all the way through.

    • Beowoof

      I am sure she has handled a few pink shooters to get the legislative job.

  • ttommyunger

    I simply file this under "Suspicions Confirmed" re. 90% of our current crop of political actors from all parties.

  • __kth__

    Downfister, wassup!

  • http://widget.fx-exchange.com/ currencywidget

    I can't wait to hear the howling from the same Reich-wingers and Faux News ball-garglers who screamed about the missing "W's" from the computer keyboards during the Clinton to Bush transition.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya
    • iburl

      Typical republican woman politician… long on looks, short on brains.

    • AJWjr.

      Is this her rookie card? Because I can see she has a future in sports card sales.

  • WinterOuthouse

    Big tits and whiskey are all the credentials needed for a TN rep. Minnesota, take note.

    • Limeylizzie

      But I don't drink.

      • zhubajie

        You are too smart and too honorable to run for office in the US!

      • Negropolis

        Mommas, don't let your little girls and boys grow up to be politicians.

  • bumfug

    "She said in the article that her Hooters career taught her how [to] overcome obstacles on her way to the state Capitol. 'If I could make it at Hooters, I could make it anywhere,' she wrote."

    "Like, one of my boobs was bigger than the other one and the little one was pretty lumpy but I trusted in the Lord and he blessed me with customers who looked at my titties anyway. And the constitution, also."

    • OhNoGuy

      "And I learned hold to hold a guys meat there, properly"

  • Soylent Green

    Had to check the googles. She's not the hotsie-totsie I expected.

    • __kth__

      This is a little fetching, however (the picture, of course; the column was tl,dr beyond the first few laughable and preposterous sentences).

      • Beowoof

        I don't know, those beaver teeth are really ready for an ear of corn through a chainlink fence.

      • ShaveTheWhales

        From the bio of the writer of the column:

        David Oatney is a freelance political writer, blogger, and conservative activist. He is active in local Republican and municipal politics, and…

  • CapnFatback

    The following note has been confiscated from Rep. Hurley and must now be read to the entire assembly:

    "Do you like me?
    ☐ Yes
    ☐ No
    ☑ Screw the brownskins and pass the buffalo sauce"

  • Amo_of_Bogio

    "Hurley owns and operates JaCy Co., which sells collegiately licensed sports apparel and tailgating merchandise at SECGrillToppers.com."…plus a child when she was 15…

  • Radiotherapy®

    it's not like she pointed a loaded gun at a reporter or something.

  • Soylent Green

    Whoops! I was Google-oogling House Speaker Beth Harwell. Pardon me, madam!

  • Doktor Zoom

    Chalk up another one for The Party of Personal Responsibility.

  • rambone

    FTA: Hurley, 29, of Lenoir City, said she doesn't remember what she used to cut her initials into the desk. "To ask me details about what happened three months ago, I couldn't tell you," Hurley said.

    Ladies and gentlemonkies! I present your next Ronald Reagan!

    • Soylent Green

      gotcha journalizm!

    • Beowoof

      Well similar intellects.

    • Negropolis

      That is a gem of a comment, it is. You fuckers can't expect a representative to remember shit, can you? How dare you.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Somewhere in Virginia, Krystal Ball is reading this and wondering why she wasn't consulted first.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Krystal Ball wasn't stupid enough to get elected.

  • Amo_of_Bogio

    http://www.wbir.com/news/article/162367/2/Rep-cau

    She's a pistol, this one and can mangle a sentence with the best .

    Friday, 10News spoke with Rep. Hurley about the tape. She said she was sorry for what she said. "I can realize my mistakes and it should be apologized for," she said. 

    She added, "my number one concern is not a speeding ticket. It's the jobs and the future of the people for the people of Roane County."

    • comrad_darkness

      Your move, Lou Sarah.

    • MilwaukeeKent

      That statement alone qualifies her for a cabinet level position in the Palin Administration. She can realize her mistakes and it should be apologized for.

      • http://t.co/83Yq8x9 smokefilleddoommate

        Is our representatives learning?

        • MilwaukeeKent

          All of them, Katie!

    • AJWjr.

      The Aristocrats, they learn so young!

  • hagajim

    This one is a regular Einstein – no?

  • WinterOuthouse

    Stupid

  • Barb

    Let's go OT for a sec. Sarah said tonight, "It's not time to retreat, it's time to reload" about the debt ceiling. Does this bitch have amnesia or something?

    • HistoriCat

      Probably just thought "that's a great line – I should work that in." No recollection of using it before or any idea of why it might be inappropriate.

      • Barb

        Agreed Histori! I sent the story to Kirsten. Let's lock and load our snark for a reply. Meet me there when the story is posted, please.

        • HistoriCat

          For you? Anything.

    • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

      She may have a dim recollection of using retreat/reload at some point in the past and hearing people applaud and cheer. With that shard of memory to prod her she decided to say it again. Context means nothing to these people.

    • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

      Unfortunately, she was born with a cunt where here brain was supposed to be.

    • Negropolis

      I love you, Barb. Not sure why, but I burst out laughing at that. lol

      • Barb

        Love you more.

    • metamarcisf

      Phillips Milk of Amnesia

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    Is her Dad going to have to pay the bill too?

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Julia Hurley may be a victim of medical malpractice–the surgeon stuffed the twin 400cc bags of medical grade silicone into her head instead of behind the muscles of her chest.

  • pinkocommi

    You mean, she didn't get "OMG REP TN 4 LYFE" tattooed as a tramp stamp on her lower back? Now, that would be classy!

    • http://Wonkette.com ProudLibunatic

      And why is 'LIFE" spelled "LYFE?"
      Is it "gangsta?"
      Am I old?

      • mayor_quimby

        It's kinda gangsta, like spelling gangster 'gangsta' Nahmsayin?

  • TX_Bluebonnets

    Hey, all this means is No Child Left Behind is working.

    She knew her initials, people! The police (or sergeant at arms?) knew them, too!

    There is no crisis! It's STILL Morning in America!

    Boobies and chicken wings for everyone!

  • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

    You know how many chicken-wing-sauce-stained-finger ass slaps it takes to pay for a Tennessee State Senate desk?

    A fucking lot!

  • MiniMencken

    Her company sells some Arkansas Razorbook material, but not the red plastic pig-shaped hat. Big mistake. Huge.

    • Beowoof

      It would be safe to assume that Julie is all the pig her company can handle.

  • http://t.co/83Yq8x9 smokefilleddoommate

    "If I could make it at Hooters, I could make it anywhere."

    …in Tennessee.

    • AJWjr.

      Is that how they read their fortune cookies in TN?

    • http://Wonkette.com ProudLibunatic

      Yeah, some mantra.
      Her parents must be very proud.

  • mavenmaven

    “It was like 1 in the morning on the last day of the session… and I was on a meth binge so I might have done it with my teeth. Lucky they didn't notice that I peed all over the file cabinet"

  • fuflans

    the fuck people?!?!? did she raise your taxes or give you personal abortions?!?!?!?

    i didn't think so.

  • http://t.co/83Yq8x9 smokefilleddoommate

    This was my desk. Until the Desk People took it away !!!

  • flamingpdog

    Remember when getting elected was about argumentation rather than augmentation?

    Good night all, tomorrow's another daze.

  • Negropolis

    I see Tennessee hasn't evolved much since the time of the Scopes Moneky Trial.

  • Redhead

    Looks like Newt has found his next wife.

  • DashboardBuddha

    "In the excitement of being a freshman at the end of session, Representative Hurley etched her initials into her desk,"

    Just be glad she didn't wet herself or throw up. That's usually what over-excited, over-tired children do.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    Sounds like she's president material, Republican president that is.
    Hurley/Hurley's Boobs 2012!!!!!!!!!!

  • http://Wonkette.com MLHencken

    What they failed to report was how Virginia Foxx (aka Crazy Eyez Granny) was, at the very same time, going nuts and throwing her bloomers at Eric Cantor.

    By the way, Virginia Foxx? Really, my brain can just not get around the cognitive dissonance of a mean old GOP lady with a pornstar name. The double letter x makes it sexy!

    This is what I get for spending too much time with Miz Wonkett.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    House Speaker Beth Harwell v. Representative Julia Hurley: I smell an Alaska Senate Leader Lyda Green vs. Sarah Palin enmity here.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Ladies & gentlemen, I see the future ex-Mrs. Harold Ford, Jr.

    • Negropolis

      Ouch! It's funny 'cause it's true.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Well, by Tenn Repub standards, this woman is a class act. Notice that she did not blame the deed on the gays, the blacks, or Darwin.

  • ibwilliamsi

    It's not as though she was actually participating in the session in any meaningful way to begin with.

  • SilverTsunami

    "B-caws it was, like, one in the morning? On the last, like, day of the session? And I sooooo had my mind on other things? Like if I could get my own reality show?"

  • sportshort

    "Like, what's the big deal? At Hooters I carved my initials on all the tables. While I was bent over them. I am so sure."