CRIME AND POLITICS  9:06 pm July 13, 2011

Bored Tennessee Lawmaker Vandalizes Her Own Desk

by Blair Burke

“OMG REP TN 4 LYFE” is what Hooters girl-turned Republican Tennessee Rep. Julia Hurley wanted to carve into her desk in the state House chamber, but she only got to her initials before she saw something shiny and got distracted. And now she has to pay for her vandalism, even though she does not understand what the big deal is, you guys.

House Speaker Beth Harwell said Tuesday that Rep. Julia Hurley’s initials will be removed at the fellow Republican lawmaker’s expense.

“In the excitement of being a freshman at the end of session, Representative Hurley etched her initials into her desk,” said Harwell, a Nashville Republican.

Julia Hurley rolls her eyes and smacks her gum at this desk thing, because “It was like 1 in the morning on the last day of the session,” so she had her mind on more important things, like chicken wings and lip gloss. [AP]

 

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{ 110 comments }

Texan_Bulldog July 13, 2011 at 9:17 pm

Wonder what she wrote on the bathroom stall door?

And how much worse can she be than Marsha Blackburn?

nounverb911 July 13, 2011 at 9:21 pm

For a good time, call Beth Harwell.

PsycWench July 14, 2011 at 9:55 am

Nancy Pelosi iz a slutt

FlownOver July 14, 2011 at 4:38 pm

None worse. That's how much worse. None worse.

ProudLibunatic July 14, 2011 at 7:31 pm

…here I sit all brokenhearted, tried to shit and only farted.

nounverb911 July 13, 2011 at 9:23 pm

At least she didn't quit halfway through the session.

Callyson July 13, 2011 at 9:24 pm

She was just bored because no one can talk about teh gays anymore in Tennessee…

DoktorThompson July 13, 2011 at 9:27 pm

She should try the ol' carve-a-backwards-B-in-her-own-face trick to get out of this one.

tcaalaw July 13, 2011 at 9:31 pm

Hooters girl-turned Republican Tennessee Rep. Julia Hurley

How is The Onion still in business when stuff like this is real?

Amo_of_Bogio July 13, 2011 at 10:03 pm

"Hurley owns and operates JaCy Co., which sells collegiately licensed sports apparel and tailgating merchandise at SECGrillToppers.com." …plus a child when she was 15…
So not just an ex-Hoosterville girl, I'm thinking to buy some shares in this one.

horsedreamer_1 July 14, 2011 at 10:39 am

Who slipped her the wine-cooler, though?

Sue4466 July 13, 2011 at 9:31 pm

So, it's not just the Republicans in the US Senate and House who act like dumbass teenagers?

BarackMyWorld July 13, 2011 at 9:34 pm

Sorry, but Tennessee is going to have a lot of catching up to do before Arizona's in any danger of losing their lead in the annual Dumbest State contest.

OhNoGuy July 13, 2011 at 10:14 pm

AZ – the Pin Head State!!

Beowoof July 14, 2011 at 12:52 am

Alabama and Mississippi are formidable opponets when it comes the Dumbest State, and lets not forget Texas has not seceeded yet.

FlownOver July 14, 2011 at 4:42 pm

Ah, but you overlook the Sunflower State, home to "God hates America," Shoot the illegalz from helicopters" and "We don' need no steenkin' art!"

Oh, and also home to Koch Industries. That's good for the tie-breaker, at least.

lurch394 July 15, 2011 at 11:28 am

Ahhh, Kansas!

Biel_ze_Bubba July 16, 2011 at 11:17 am

As in, "What's the matter with."

Negropolis July 16, 2011 at 10:07 pm

The Witch Burning Capital of America!

Steverino247 July 13, 2011 at 9:38 pm

It takes between two and five minutes for the asshole downfister to strike. It would take me between two and five seconds to whup his ass.

Barb July 13, 2011 at 10:58 pm

And it would take me 45 seconds to fetch you a beer after you did so.

Barb July 13, 2011 at 11:02 pm

I just saw that downfister has changed his avatar to a blood filled hypodermic needle and is following me, as usual. Love ya like a cold sore!

Steverino247 July 14, 2011 at 12:54 am

Oh, that would be very sweet of you. I think a Bitburger would be nice.

Go here for it: http://www.bitburger.com/

LOL

Andrew Drinker July 14, 2011 at 9:25 am

Bitte ein Bit!

BarryOPotter July 14, 2011 at 9:29 am

OMG!!! I had so many of those last night that this morning's bike ride to work had more sketchy moments than usual! Bitte ein Bit, por favor, gracias, und merci!

starfanglednut July 14, 2011 at 9:08 am

Could be longer in Minnesota, though.

Beowoof July 14, 2011 at 12:54 am

Hey a tough stud like that, who does all his fighting on the internent hiding behind an alias should not be taken too lightly. Take an aluminum bat and do the job right. And while your at it, fuck up his, Mom's basement.

Oblios_Cap July 14, 2011 at 9:07 am

What a hard-core culture warrior he is, what with his running outta Cheetos and Mom not being home (she's out hooking to support his MacDonalds habit) to run out and bring more to him down in the basement.

BaldarTFlagass July 13, 2011 at 9:41 pm

She probably wrote something like "Class of '11 Forevah" or something in white shoe polish on the back window of her car.

FlownOver July 14, 2011 at 4:45 pm

Followed by "Class of '12 Forevah," "Class of '13 Forevah," et cetera, ad infinitum – or ultimately "G.E.D Forevah."

arihaya July 13, 2011 at 9:41 pm

she has intelligence and habit of a 4th grader,,

smokefilleddoommate July 15, 2011 at 4:13 am

Which begs the game show 'Are You Smarter Than A Freshman Republican State Representative?'

SudsMcKenzie July 13, 2011 at 9:41 pm

In my excitement of "being a freshman", I would just get hammered.

__kth__ July 13, 2011 at 9:44 pm

Five bucks says she's a born-again ex-cleavage-monger.

zhubajie July 13, 2011 at 10:42 pm

So there's a born-again Hooters competitor? With little gauzy veils or whatever over the mammaries?

the_problem_child July 13, 2011 at 9:44 pm

She should have used her pink revolver to make the holes all the way through.

Beowoof July 14, 2011 at 12:55 am

I am sure she has handled a few pink shooters to get the legislative job.

ttommyunger July 13, 2011 at 9:45 pm

I simply file this under "Suspicions Confirmed" re. 90% of our current crop of political actors from all parties.

__kth__ July 13, 2011 at 9:56 pm

Downfister, wassup!

currencywidget July 13, 2011 at 9:56 pm

I can't wait to hear the howling from the same Reich-wingers and Faux News ball-garglers who screamed about the missing "W's" from the computer keyboards during the Clinton to Bush transition.

ifthethunderdontgetya July 13, 2011 at 9:59 pm
iburl July 13, 2011 at 10:10 pm

Typical republican woman politician… long on looks, short on brains.

AJWjr. July 14, 2011 at 9:50 am

Is this her rookie card? Because I can see she has a future in sports card sales.

WinterOuthouse July 13, 2011 at 10:00 pm

Big tits and whiskey are all the credentials needed for a TN rep. Minnesota, take note.

Limeylizzie July 13, 2011 at 10:32 pm

But I don't drink.

zhubajie July 13, 2011 at 10:42 pm

You are too smart and too honorable to run for office in the US!

Negropolis July 14, 2011 at 4:22 am

Mommas, don't let your little girls and boys grow up to be politicians.

bumfug July 13, 2011 at 10:07 pm

"She said in the article that her Hooters career taught her how [to] overcome obstacles on her way to the state Capitol. 'If I could make it at Hooters, I could make it anywhere,' she wrote."

"Like, one of my boobs was bigger than the other one and the little one was pretty lumpy but I trusted in the Lord and he blessed me with customers who looked at my titties anyway. And the constitution, also."

OhNoGuy July 13, 2011 at 10:17 pm

"And I learned hold to hold a guys meat there, properly"

Soylent Green July 13, 2011 at 10:11 pm

Had to check the googles. She's not the hotsie-totsie I expected.

__kth__ July 13, 2011 at 10:50 pm

This is a little fetching, however (the picture, of course; the column was tl,dr beyond the first few laughable and preposterous sentences).

Beowoof July 14, 2011 at 12:58 am

I don't know, those beaver teeth are really ready for an ear of corn through a chainlink fence.

ShaveTheWhales July 14, 2011 at 1:45 am

From the bio of the writer of the column:

David Oatney is a freelance political writer, blogger, and conservative activist. He is active in local Republican and municipal politics, and…

CapnFatback July 13, 2011 at 10:11 pm

The following note has been confiscated from Rep. Hurley and must now be read to the entire assembly:

"Do you like me?
☐ Yes
☐ No
☑ Screw the brownskins and pass the buffalo sauce"

Amo_of_Bogio July 13, 2011 at 10:12 pm

"Hurley owns and operates JaCy Co., which sells collegiately licensed sports apparel and tailgating merchandise at SECGrillToppers.com."…plus a child when she was 15…

Radiotherapy® July 13, 2011 at 10:15 pm

it's not like she pointed a loaded gun at a reporter or something.

Soylent Green July 13, 2011 at 10:15 pm

Whoops! I was Google-oogling House Speaker Beth Harwell. Pardon me, madam!

Doktor Zoom July 13, 2011 at 10:15 pm

Chalk up another one for The Party of Personal Responsibility.

rambone July 13, 2011 at 10:16 pm

FTA: Hurley, 29, of Lenoir City, said she doesn't remember what she used to cut her initials into the desk. "To ask me details about what happened three months ago, I couldn't tell you," Hurley said.

Ladies and gentlemonkies! I present your next Ronald Reagan!

Soylent Green July 13, 2011 at 10:21 pm

gotcha journalizm!

Beowoof July 14, 2011 at 12:59 am

Well similar intellects.

Negropolis July 14, 2011 at 4:24 am

That is a gem of a comment, it is. You fuckers can't expect a representative to remember shit, can you? How dare you.

Mumbletypeg July 13, 2011 at 10:16 pm

Somewhere in Virginia, Krystal Ball is reading this and wondering why she wasn't consulted first.

horsedreamer_1 July 14, 2011 at 11:02 am

Krystal Ball wasn't stupid enough to get elected.

Amo_of_Bogio July 13, 2011 at 10:21 pm

http://www.wbir.com/news/article/162367/2/Rep-cau

She's a pistol, this one and can mangle a sentence with the best .

Friday, 10News spoke with Rep. Hurley about the tape. She said she was sorry for what she said. "I can realize my mistakes and it should be apologized for," she said. 

She added, "my number one concern is not a speeding ticket. It's the jobs and the future of the people for the people of Roane County."

comrad_darkness July 13, 2011 at 10:59 pm

Your move, Lou Sarah.

MilwaukeeKent July 13, 2011 at 11:25 pm

That statement alone qualifies her for a cabinet level position in the Palin Administration. She can realize her mistakes and it should be apologized for.

smokefilleddoommate July 13, 2011 at 11:59 pm

Is our representatives learning?

MilwaukeeKent July 14, 2011 at 1:30 am

All of them, Katie!

AJWjr. July 14, 2011 at 9:58 am

The Aristocrats, they learn so young!

hagajim July 13, 2011 at 10:40 pm

This one is a regular Einstein – no?

WinterOuthouse July 13, 2011 at 11:01 pm

Stupid

Barb July 13, 2011 at 11:07 pm

Let's go OT for a sec. Sarah said tonight, "It's not time to retreat, it's time to reload" about the debt ceiling. Does this bitch have amnesia or something?

HistoriCat July 13, 2011 at 11:30 pm

Probably just thought "that's a great line – I should work that in." No recollection of using it before or any idea of why it might be inappropriate.

Barb July 13, 2011 at 11:31 pm

Agreed Histori! I sent the story to Kirsten. Let's lock and load our snark for a reply. Meet me there when the story is posted, please.

HistoriCat July 14, 2011 at 9:19 am

For you? Anything.

donner_froh July 13, 2011 at 11:56 pm

She may have a dim recollection of using retreat/reload at some point in the past and hearing people applaud and cheer. With that shard of memory to prod her she decided to say it again. Context means nothing to these people.

KenLayIsAlive July 14, 2011 at 12:33 am

Unfortunately, she was born with a cunt where here brain was supposed to be.

Negropolis July 14, 2011 at 4:29 am

I love you, Barb. Not sure why, but I burst out laughing at that. lol

Barb July 14, 2011 at 9:57 am

Love you more.

metamarcisf July 14, 2011 at 10:43 am

Phillips Milk of Amnesia

Maman July 14, 2011 at 12:00 am

Is her Dad going to have to pay the bill too?

donner_froh July 14, 2011 at 12:02 am

Julia Hurley may be a victim of medical malpractice–the surgeon stuffed the twin 400cc bags of medical grade silicone into her head instead of behind the muscles of her chest.

pinkocommi July 14, 2011 at 12:08 am

You mean, she didn't get "OMG REP TN 4 LYFE" tattooed as a tramp stamp on her lower back? Now, that would be classy!

ProudLibunatic July 14, 2011 at 7:40 pm

And why is 'LIFE" spelled "LYFE?"
Is it "gangsta?"
Am I old?

mayor_quimby July 14, 2011 at 10:21 pm

It's kinda gangsta, like spelling gangster 'gangsta' Nahmsayin?

TX_Bluebonnets July 14, 2011 at 12:17 am

Hey, all this means is No Child Left Behind is working.

She knew her initials, people! The police (or sergeant at arms?) knew them, too!

There is no crisis! It's STILL Morning in America!

Boobies and chicken wings for everyone!

KenLayIsAlive July 14, 2011 at 12:36 am

You know how many chicken-wing-sauce-stained-finger ass slaps it takes to pay for a Tennessee State Senate desk?

A fucking lot!

MiniMencken July 14, 2011 at 12:42 am

Her company sells some Arkansas Razorbook material, but not the red plastic pig-shaped hat. Big mistake. Huge.

Beowoof July 14, 2011 at 1:02 am

It would be safe to assume that Julie is all the pig her company can handle.

smokefilleddoommate July 14, 2011 at 1:11 am

"If I could make it at Hooters, I could make it anywhere."

…in Tennessee.

AJWjr. July 14, 2011 at 10:00 am

Is that how they read their fortune cookies in TN?

ProudLibunatic July 14, 2011 at 7:42 pm

Yeah, some mantra.
Her parents must be very proud.

mavenmaven July 14, 2011 at 1:18 am

“It was like 1 in the morning on the last day of the session… and I was on a meth binge so I might have done it with my teeth. Lucky they didn't notice that I peed all over the file cabinet"

fuflans July 14, 2011 at 1:44 am

the fuck people?!?!? did she raise your taxes or give you personal abortions?!?!?!?

i didn't think so.

smokefilleddoommate July 14, 2011 at 2:35 am

This was my desk. Until the Desk People took it away !!!

flamingpdog July 14, 2011 at 2:51 am

Remember when getting elected was about argumentation rather than augmentation?

Good night all, tomorrow's another daze.

Negropolis July 14, 2011 at 4:32 am

I see Tennessee hasn't evolved much since the time of the Scopes Moneky Trial.

Redhead July 14, 2011 at 7:48 am

Looks like Newt has found his next wife.

DashboardBuddha July 14, 2011 at 7:51 am

"In the excitement of being a freshman at the end of session, Representative Hurley etched her initials into her desk,"

Just be glad she didn't wet herself or throw up. That's usually what over-excited, over-tired children do.

Monsieur_Grumpe July 14, 2011 at 8:50 am

Sounds like she's president material, Republican president that is.
Hurley/Hurley's Boobs 2012!!!!!!!!!!

MLHencken July 14, 2011 at 9:04 am

What they failed to report was how Virginia Foxx (aka Crazy Eyez Granny) was, at the very same time, going nuts and throwing her bloomers at Eric Cantor.

By the way, Virginia Foxx? Really, my brain can just not get around the cognitive dissonance of a mean old GOP lady with a pornstar name. The double letter x makes it sexy!

This is what I get for spending too much time with Miz Wonkett.

NorthStarSpanx July 14, 2011 at 10:14 am

House Speaker Beth Harwell v. Representative Julia Hurley: I smell an Alaska Senate Leader Lyda Green vs. Sarah Palin enmity here.

horsedreamer_1 July 14, 2011 at 11:03 am

Ladies & gentlemen, I see the future ex-Mrs. Harold Ford, Jr.

Negropolis July 14, 2011 at 11:49 pm

Ouch! It's funny 'cause it's true.

littlebigdaddy July 14, 2011 at 12:27 pm

Well, by Tenn Repub standards, this woman is a class act. Notice that she did not blame the deed on the gays, the blacks, or Darwin.

ibwilliamsi July 14, 2011 at 3:46 pm

It's not as though she was actually participating in the session in any meaningful way to begin with.

SilverTsunami July 14, 2011 at 5:10 pm

"B-caws it was, like, one in the morning? On the last, like, day of the session? And I sooooo had my mind on other things? Like if I could get my own reality show?"

sportshort July 14, 2011 at 7:27 pm

"Like, what's the big deal? At Hooters I carved my initials on all the tables. While I was bent over them. I am so sure."

Steverino247 July 14, 2011 at 9:55 am

Got to go there when I was stationed in Germany. Nothing like the brew where it's brewed. The "home town" brew in Pirmasens, Parkbrau, was pretty good, too.

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