DO 9/11 FAMILIES GET A FREE ONE?  6:36 pm July 13, 2011

9/11 Hero George W. Bush Shilling Autographed 9/11 Baseball Cards

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

one of our favorite 9/11 memories, right here.What is the number one top most important thing to remember about how alcoholic clown prince George W. Bush acted in the wake of the 9/11 terrorist attacks? Was it the EIGHT THOUSAND NINE HUNDRED THIRTY-FOUR TRILLION DOLLAR WAR that he started for fun and oil and murder? No, because who remembers those things. That crazy elephantine orgy of torture and child execution is gone from the radar these days. So here you are, a signed “baseball card” of Hero George Dubya throwing a pitch at Yankee Stadium during Game 3 of the World Series, right after 9/11, to make us feel better. It is good to see that in these hard economic times, it is still possible to make a “9/11 memories” buck.

And of course Fox News reported on this:

“Our 2011 Allen & Ginter product will continue Topps’ historic tradition of chronicling heroes both on and off the playing field,” Topps VP, Mark Sapir, said in a statement. “We’re thrilled to announce that this year’s set will include limited edition autographs of our country’s 43rd President, George W. Bush – marking the first time ever that a living President has made their autographs available in a trading card product.”

The limited edition autograph cards feature an image of Bush throwing out the first pitch at Game 3 of the 2001 World Series at Yankee Stadium, just weeks after the 9/11 suicide bombings of the World Trade Center.

Also included are 10 special cards signed in red ink, some with inscriptions next to the former president’s autograph, including “#43” and “U.S.A.”

It is a thoughtful way to remember this, the event that killed thousands of human people and plunged America into a costly, pointless war. Good marketing, Topps.  [Fox News]



 
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{ 226 comments }

nounverb911 July 13, 2011 at 6:38 pm

Does OBL get a card too?

Sharkey July 13, 2011 at 6:45 pm

Apparently he has nothing to do with baseball. (Sigh.)

V572 der Plaatz July 13, 2011 at 6:51 pm

Didn't he try out with the Bowie Baysox once? Good fielder, as I recall, but couldn't hit a curve ball.

No, wait, that was our other Greatest Worst Scariest Enemy, Fidel Castro. Or was it Hugo "Ugo" Chavez? So many enemies….

horsedreamer_1 July 13, 2011 at 8:02 pm

Sam Khalifa is Major League Baseball's only known Muslin. Though, I have my suspicions about Mat Gamel.

Mahousu July 13, 2011 at 8:07 pm

Yes, he gets a card. And you get a card, and you get a card, and you, and you.

EVERYBODY GETS A CARD! EVERYBODY GETS A CARD!

Steverino247 July 13, 2011 at 9:41 pm

No, OBL gets a dork who will bilk his fellow racist Christians into paying for the effort to find his corpse.

HuddledMass July 14, 2011 at 10:37 am

Oh right – what's going on with that dork anyway?

nounverb911 July 13, 2011 at 6:39 pm

Bush's part of the "Famous War Criminals Collectors Edition Set", right?

Fare la Volpe July 13, 2011 at 6:51 pm

I'll trade you a George Bush for two Idi Amins.

DashboardBuddha July 13, 2011 at 7:00 pm

that's a good deal. I hear the Amins are edible.

poncho_pilot July 13, 2011 at 7:24 pm

but the included bubble gum, is still, sadly not.

insidebeltway July 14, 2011 at 7:14 am

I believe those are Emperor Bocasa.

riverside68 July 14, 2011 at 9:30 am

If you're a Amin True Believer, all of them are edible.

Ohhh . . you mean the cards, sorry, carry on then.

PristineODummy July 13, 2011 at 8:44 pm

Hey, GW is worth a lot more than a mere TWO Amins, man. Maybe five Pol Pots.

Steverino247 July 13, 2011 at 9:41 pm

Since somebody took impeachment off the table, is he still in the doghouse?

lefty74 July 13, 2011 at 6:41 pm

He lead us to the fork in the road, and told us if we didn't take it, the terrorizers would.

Barb July 13, 2011 at 6:44 pm

I wouldn't bat an eyelash if he got lead back to the pretzel in the epiglottis.

memzilla July 13, 2011 at 6:41 pm

Shoe. I want him to autograph a shoe. Any bets that he wouldn't do it, given enough sweet, sweet Koch Dollahz?

Mumbletypeg July 13, 2011 at 7:19 pm

needs more thumbs, memz.

Barb July 13, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Meh, I bet the gum that comes with this tastes like weapons of ass destruction.

Fare la Volpe July 13, 2011 at 6:52 pm

And oil.

Barb July 13, 2011 at 6:58 pm

LOL, good reply.

Sharkey July 13, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Really. Red ink. Huh.

weejee July 13, 2011 at 6:50 pm

For once he's being honest.

Nostrildamus July 13, 2011 at 7:16 pm

Once you buy the card you're on the hook for massive payments ever year until all the brown people are dead.

PristineODummy July 13, 2011 at 8:46 pm

I like the idea, but how will we know for sure?

evan7257 July 13, 2011 at 6:43 pm

Bush v. Gore made it OK to steal home.

user-of-owls July 13, 2011 at 6:48 pm

Scalia & Friends are this generation's Black Sox.

weejee July 13, 2011 at 6:53 pm

Judge Landis just turned a bit in his grave. He wuz the Commish who put the kibosh on Shoeless Joe.

ProudLibunatic July 13, 2011 at 8:13 pm

And Brown v. Murdoch just reminds me of Bush saying, of the British PM, that he was not as DOUR as he thought he'd be. Cause he's Scottish. The depth of Dubya's foreign policy knowledge. A ditty, (or something), about a "dour Scotsman."

*facepalm*

PristineODummy July 13, 2011 at 8:47 pm

I doubt he even knows how to pronounce "dour."

Negropolis July 14, 2011 at 3:14 am

You won the Internets.

BaldarTFlagass July 13, 2011 at 6:43 pm

His signature looks like it says "Zor El" or some weird shit like that. Or am I reading that wrong?

user-of-owls July 13, 2011 at 6:50 pm

You are. It actually reads as: Fzar 3e

BaldarTFlagass July 13, 2011 at 6:53 pm

Thanks for clearing that up for me. I've been putting off getting an eye exam, maybe I should stop procrastinating.

Fare la Volpe July 13, 2011 at 6:52 pm

Clearly it reads ZARDOZ.

BaldarTFlagass July 13, 2011 at 6:57 pm

"I don't want to go to the next level!!!"

Gleem_McShineys July 13, 2011 at 7:21 pm

Consuella: "Penic erection was one of the many unsolved evolutionary mysteries surrounding sexuality. Every society had an elaborate subculture devoted to erotic stimulation. But nobody could quite determine how this… "
Consuella points to a diagram of a flaccid male penis and scrotum

Consuella: "…becomes this. "
Consuella points to a signed baseball card of George W. Bush

user-of-owls July 13, 2011 at 7:24 pm

May: "Well quite clearly this is that mysterious mechanism."
May points to a picture of Katherine Harris.

zhubajie July 13, 2011 at 8:11 pm

His mechanical signing machine got drunk on strong AC! You don't think he signs them himself, do you?

MilwaukeeKent July 13, 2011 at 9:31 pm

"Gauze" that's the best I can make out of it.

ShaveTheWhales July 14, 2011 at 1:31 am

Clearly, it's "Jar El", simultaneously honoring his unborn sibling and Superman (or possibly Antwan Randle El).

nounverb911 July 13, 2011 at 6:43 pm

Which other famous war criminals should get their own baseball cards?

BaldarTFlagass July 13, 2011 at 6:48 pm

*Heavy Sigh*

"All of them, Katie."

*BLAM! blows brains out.*

jakegittes July 13, 2011 at 7:22 pm

Oh Jeez. Bobby McNamara. He actually confessed before he kicked the bucket.

PristineODummy July 13, 2011 at 8:49 pm

Not to ALL his criminality, though. The lying sack o'shit.

Pres[EXTERMINATE!!] July 13, 2011 at 6:48 pm

Pol Pot?

user-of-owls July 13, 2011 at 7:20 pm

"Mr. Pot? I have a Mr. Kettle on Line Two who is shouting gibberish and calling you black. Should I transfer him to voicemail?"

C_R_Eature July 13, 2011 at 8:29 pm

WIN

Fare la Volpe July 13, 2011 at 6:56 pm

That Goebbels had some great rookie stats.

user-of-owls July 13, 2011 at 7:18 pm

Agreed, but his reputation never really recovered from that Performance Ending Drug scandal at the very end of his career.

BaldarTFlagass July 13, 2011 at 6:56 pm

Field Marshal Douglas Haig?

weejee July 13, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Nathan Bedford Forrest? (I'da said Custer, but he did sorta get his karma sooner)

user-of-owls July 13, 2011 at 7:08 pm

Shit, you could create an entire collection just using the chupacabras from the Reagan lineup of butchers. Just ask a Nicaraguan. Or Salvadoran. Or Argentine, Chilean, Brazilian, Honduran, Uruguayan or Guatemalan. Oh, wait. you can't ask a Mayan from there because they were all exterminated by Ron's dear pal, Efrain Rios Montt.

weejee July 13, 2011 at 7:24 pm

So now we know where our Popol Vuh got to ('ceptin the auf deutsch version).

Dudleydidwrong July 13, 2011 at 8:26 pm

The people of Grenada want Reagan to be immoralized (spelled correctly) on a card.

PristineODummy July 13, 2011 at 8:50 pm

Well, most of those who have a score to settle with that brainless zombie bastard are moldering in communal graves. Funny, isn't it, that the invading USArmians knew exactly who to round up and dump in said mass graves when they arrived?

Fukui_sanYesOta July 13, 2011 at 7:13 pm

Kissinger, with his coat of arms depicting crossed dead Cambodians on a pile of dead Cambodians.

user-of-owls July 13, 2011 at 7:16 pm

…against a backdrop of dead Vietnamese.

BaldarTFlagass July 13, 2011 at 7:35 pm

With a Chilean garnish.

user-of-owls July 13, 2011 at 8:54 pm

And an Argentine blood pudding for dessert.

poncho_pilot July 13, 2011 at 7:26 pm

General Ripper?

horsedreamer_1 July 13, 2011 at 8:03 pm

Bucky Dent?

zhubajie July 13, 2011 at 8:11 pm

George Bush the Elder (who actually played baseball)

C_R_Eature July 13, 2011 at 8:35 pm

Vladimir Tepes?

user-of-owls July 13, 2011 at 8:55 pm

"We impale. You decide!"

C_R_Eature July 13, 2011 at 9:35 pm

Multiple Vigorous Upfists for the FOX reference!

flamingpdog July 13, 2011 at 11:38 pm

And instead of bubble gum, you get a six-pack of Im Pale Ale.

C_R_Eature July 14, 2011 at 5:34 am

Most Excellent.

Steverino247 July 13, 2011 at 9:45 pm

Mussolini (but the photo would be printed upside down on the card).

BaldarTFlagass July 14, 2011 at 8:17 am

Nice Piazzale Loreto reference!!

Oblios_Cap July 13, 2011 at 6:43 pm

God, I hate that worthless piece of shit. I saw the pics of him at B. Ford's funeral and he's still the same slack-jawed asshole he always was.

KenLayIsAlive July 13, 2011 at 6:59 pm

It's like the old saying, you can can take the dick out of your ass, but you can't take the slack out of your asshole.

What I'm saying is that America will never recover from the fucking GWB and his cronies gave it.

Blueoval427 July 14, 2011 at 3:53 pm

Good eye!

Kidneys4Sale July 13, 2011 at 6:44 pm

Even in this picture, he appears unsure of what he should do next. Thanks for the memories.

Lascauxcaveman July 13, 2011 at 7:05 pm

I watched that game. He threw a shitty first pitch.

Of course, it's hard to pitch wearing a kevlar and chainmail vest. And if you're a stupid and talentless fucking pussy.

PristineODummy July 13, 2011 at 8:51 pm

I think in Georgeya's case, it's 40% the first and ELEBENTY BILLION PERCENT the second.

i_AM_ready July 13, 2011 at 6:45 pm

Love how you can see that throwing a ball really taxes his brain. Like how Linus sticks his tongue out in Peanuts when he's writing.

PristineODummy July 13, 2011 at 8:52 pm

Taxes his WUT?

BlueStateLibel July 13, 2011 at 6:45 pm

Bush is a little late cashing in on the 9/11 crap merchandise, isn't he? He can't even do that right.

Doktor Zoom July 13, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Irrevocable proof the Bush Administration didn't do 9/11: It worked, didn't it?

flamingpdog July 13, 2011 at 8:00 pm

THANK YOU, DOK! That's exactly what I've reminding myself for years, every time I get the slightest notion that they had sumthin' to do with it.

zhubajie July 13, 2011 at 8:12 pm

Of course! That's what I always tell Truthers! They don't have a good reply, either.

Come here a minute July 13, 2011 at 6:45 pm

It should come as no surprise that Mr. Bush rated the two of clubs.

Also suitable for putting in the spokes of your bike to make it sound like a motor-sicle.

ifthethunderdontgetya July 13, 2011 at 6:46 pm

The MBA Preznit, people!
~

nounverb911 July 13, 2011 at 6:47 pm

Another good reason to make Harvard go away.

weejee July 13, 2011 at 6:54 pm

Speaks volumes.

First kill the lawyers MBAs Wm. Shakingspurz

flamingpdog July 13, 2011 at 8:01 pm

It must stand for Masters of Business Administration, 'cause it sure don't stand for Mighty Bad Ass.

Dudleydidwrong July 13, 2011 at 8:28 pm

Moldy bastard asshat/hole–ya gets yer cherce.

PristineODummy July 13, 2011 at 8:53 pm

Monstrous Bloody Arsehole?

PuckStopsHere July 14, 2011 at 7:13 am

I thought he was the "Education President." Or, was it the "War President?" Or was it the "Worst President of All Time?" I keep forgetting.

Negropolis July 14, 2011 at 7:34 am

Fortunately, we don't have to choose just one. He can be all of them (Katie).

Okay, someond can deduct me a whore-diamond for overplaying that overplayed meme.

BaldarTFlagass July 13, 2011 at 6:46 pm

Why in the FUCK is he wearing his dad's WWII leather flying jacket?!?!?! That oughtta really improve his ability to get it over the plate.

Lascauxcaveman July 13, 2011 at 7:07 pm

Several layers of flack jacket. Pussy.

Oblios_Cap July 13, 2011 at 6:46 pm

It is a thoughtful way to remember this, the event that killed all thousands of human people and plunged America into a costly, pointless war. Good job, Topps.

Not to mention the speeding up of the demise of the Republic.

I always expected that it would be Fleer that would do this sort of thing.

zhubajie July 13, 2011 at 8:13 pm

That will be how historians remember him in 100 years: successfully installing Unitary Executive.

Sue4466 July 13, 2011 at 6:46 pm

What about Cheney's card? If Bush is the standard, then certainly Cheney's a hero too.

Fukui_sanYesOta July 13, 2011 at 6:58 pm

That one just has a prone attorney lying in a pool of his own blood with LOL written on it.

trondant July 13, 2011 at 7:02 pm

Lawyers shot in the face (career): 1

AbandonHope July 14, 2011 at 10:41 am

…that we know of.

user-of-owls July 13, 2011 at 6:46 pm

Throwing that ball with the same grace, class and style that he governed with.

weejee July 13, 2011 at 6:56 pm

You mean he tossed a spitter?

Radiotherapy® July 13, 2011 at 7:01 pm

He throws like a girl.

user-of-owls July 13, 2011 at 7:12 pm

"Mister Therapy? I have a Ms. Terry O'Neill from NOW on Line One and sir, she seems hoppin' mad."

Radiotherapy® July 13, 2011 at 7:26 pm

OK, OK, relax. It's like most people when they throw with their non-dominant hand.
Or this.

mumbly_joe July 13, 2011 at 7:54 pm

Beanball. To the umpire.

Dudleydidwrong July 13, 2011 at 8:29 pm

Bush throws the ball and the country throws up.

hagajim July 13, 2011 at 6:48 pm

"one top most important thing to remember about how alcoholic clown prince George W. Bush?"

That he's an alcoholic clown douchenozzle? Shit, I thought Allen and Ginter said Alien Hunter for a minute.

BaldarTFlagass July 13, 2011 at 6:49 pm

Rudy Giuliani is jealous like a motherfucker right about now.

rocktonsam July 13, 2011 at 6:49 pm

I can't wait to put W's card between my bike spokes with a clothes pin and make noise that Jr made for eight years.

Good times.

Asshole

hagajim July 13, 2011 at 6:49 pm

Is the red ink supposed to represent all the blood this lying fuck has on his hands?

PristineODummy July 13, 2011 at 8:55 pm

Think you'd need an Olympic swimming pool for THAT.

Texan_Bulldog July 13, 2011 at 6:50 pm

Does Rudy 'noun/verb/911' know about this? I thought he copyrighted everything 9/11-ish.

BaldarTFlagass July 13, 2011 at 6:51 pm

"Also included are 10 special cards signed in red ink"

Given the cost of the wars and the cost to the economy of his policies, shouldn't they ALL be signed in red ink???

comrad_darkness July 13, 2011 at 7:03 pm

Signed with the blood of Guantanamo Bay detainees and everything?

PristineODummy July 13, 2011 at 8:56 pm

Ah, hey now, hey now.

On second thought, WTF. You're right. That whole goddamn douchebag should be dipped in blood and left to walk around slowly drying, sticking, and stinking up everything in his wake. It's what he did for eight years to the rest of us.

DashboardBuddha July 13, 2011 at 6:53 pm

That's not red ink…it's blood.

orygoon July 13, 2011 at 6:54 pm

If my dad, a former Rockefeller Republican (who voted for Obama, Wisconsin primary, 2008) were still alive, I'd get him one (well, copy/print) and send it to him–to use for asswipe, or to start a fire, or to shred.
Dad just hated that Bush guy with a righteous passion. Makes me smile to remember the Bush-countdown calendar he sent me.

Zombie_Reagan July 13, 2011 at 7:27 pm

Heck, my father was a Goldwater Republican and he too HATED Dubya (and he also voted for Clinton 2x and Obama)

horsedreamer_1 July 13, 2011 at 8:06 pm

My grandmother voted for Kennedy (Catholic convert) and Goldwater (she was a western girl), and she hated Bush. Basically, she was crazy, but even she had limits.

PristineODummy July 13, 2011 at 8:58 pm

My in-laws never ever voted for a Democrat in their lives, until Gee Dumbya showed up. Then they tore up their Republican party memberships, and never voted Republican again.

Fukui_sanYesOta July 13, 2011 at 6:56 pm

I'd buy it if it had WILLFULLY PIG-IGNORANT BELLICOSE CUNT emblazoned across the top.

Did he sign it "FonZee"?

Gleem_McShineys July 13, 2011 at 7:31 pm

Looks like when he signed it, he was making the same face as he is on the card.

"HAVE YOU THEEN MAH BAYTH BALL??"

Fare la Volpe July 13, 2011 at 6:57 pm

How dare he detract from the true meaning of Rudy Giuliani Day.

user-of-owls July 13, 2011 at 7:26 pm

FOX NEWS:
'War on Giuliani Day" is Latest Example of Extreme PC

PuckStopsHere July 14, 2011 at 6:36 am

It's gotten WAY too commercial…

ManchuCandidate July 13, 2011 at 6:59 pm

W Bush. -10 Trillion Wins Above Replacement.

Worst Free Agent Signing ever. Worse than even Kei Igawa.

ifthethunderdontgetya July 13, 2011 at 7:09 pm

Even Danny Snyder hasn't done one that stupid.

(Yet.)
~

horsedreamer_1 July 13, 2011 at 8:07 pm

Buhner for Phelps redux.

edgydrifter July 13, 2011 at 7:00 pm

…Topps’ historic tradition of chronicling heroes…

Weird. I always thought heroes were people who were heroic, or at least really, really awesome. I know times are tough and hell, I'd even settle for defining "hero" as "a basically decent person," but calling Bush a hero stretches the definition way beyond absurdity.

JustPixelz July 13, 2011 at 7:22 pm

I agree! Heroes are people who run into burning buildings. Not the ones who ignore "bin Laden Determined to Attack in U.S." warnings. Then sit frozen in a classroom with school children while "America is under attack" and his heroic fellow citizens are fighting for their lives in airplanes and burning buildings.

user-of-owls July 13, 2011 at 7:28 pm

To be fair, though, if you look at the fine print you will notice that this is actually part of the Topps Tribute To Dada Series.

flamingpdog July 13, 2011 at 8:09 pm

Just a Fox typo is all. He was actually described in the press release as a gyro – in his case, a shit sandwich with Santorum dressing.

zhubajie July 13, 2011 at 8:17 pm

Epic heroes are arrogant and selfish, concerned with personal glory. He's got those. But they have heroic achievements, and he doesn't have those.

PristineODummy July 13, 2011 at 9:00 pm

The only thing epic about George is his levels of FAIL.

comrad_darkness July 13, 2011 at 7:02 pm

I distinctly remember this pansy and his VP panic-flying in fear around the U.S. telling no press where they were that day. In contrast Rudy had his ass downtown showing actually fucking leadership.

Limeylizzie July 13, 2011 at 7:10 pm

I have to admit, even though I loathed him before and after, Rudy was fantastic on that day, especially for us in NYC , he was the only person who seemed to give a shit about us, Bush was appalling.

BaldarTFlagass July 13, 2011 at 7:11 pm

Actually, I think Cheney was running the show from the War Room or something.

And since he was in on it from the get-go, that's just what you'd expect.

AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! INSIDE JOB!!!

BlueStateLibel July 13, 2011 at 7:53 pm

I give him credit for that, it sort of mitigates the fact that after the first bombing of the Trade Center, his administration decided to house NY's emergency center…in the Trade Center. Oh well.

PristineODummy July 13, 2011 at 9:01 pm

Cheney wasn't flying anywhere. The SS, knowing the true President, squirreled him into the secret bunker right away. It was Georgeya, the Forgotten Dunce, who was flying around refuelling, forgotten by everyone except the good folks on AF1 who were tasked with keeping his worthless ass safe.

5thstate July 13, 2011 at 7:03 pm

Bush did nothing heroic.
He did nothing competently.
He can't even sign his name legibly.

Groupshrug July 13, 2011 at 7:05 pm

Does the baseball card included GWB's stats? I want to see how many errors they have down for him.

Gleem_McShineys July 13, 2011 at 7:34 pm

Errors? No.

"Mistakes Were Made"

HobbesEvilTwin July 13, 2011 at 10:28 pm

while we're at it, let's count the deaths, tortures, maimings, renditions, refugees, spilled blood, wasted treasure ….

ah fuck it; those stupid little cards aren't big enough.

not that Dewey July 14, 2011 at 10:01 am

He's all unforced errors and unearned runs.

Rotundo_ July 13, 2011 at 7:06 pm

So am I the only one thinking that Dubya never learned cursive script? For that matter, are the speaking engagements and honoraria so few and far between that in order to "fill the coffers" he has to resort to shit like this to make rent? I know that in most circles the dude has stink all over him, and he can't really leave the country for fear of getting shipped off to the Hague for war crimes, but damn, how soon they forget…

zhubajie July 13, 2011 at 8:18 pm

He's probably dyslexic or something similar. He never read memos but had secretaries read them to him.

Come here a minute July 13, 2011 at 7:09 pm

Even if he gets away with the war crimes, he's sure to be convicted on armed robbery and kidnapping charges after trying to steal back his personal keepsakes from 9/11 memorabilia dealers.

Chet Kincaid July 13, 2011 at 7:55 pm

Still looking for the REAL WMD.

zhubajie July 13, 2011 at 8:20 pm

He'll get Laura or Condi or someone to do it for him.

Radiotherapy® July 13, 2011 at 7:13 pm

This could be #2 in the series.

user-of-owls July 13, 2011 at 7:31 pm

No fucking way that beats this classic.

LetUsBray July 13, 2011 at 7:37 pm

Pics like these are why I think the people calling Cowboy Caligula a "dry drunk" were only partly right.

Radiotherapy® July 13, 2011 at 7:49 pm

And whatever you do: Don't Scare the Kids.

user-of-owls July 13, 2011 at 9:04 pm

Or the German Chancellor.

PristineODummy July 13, 2011 at 9:04 pm

Jeezus! Thanks for reminding me yet again why I spent the entire Bushit Reign cringing in a corner. Christ, that fucker never had a shred of dignity, did he? And the teabaggers have the gall to criticise President Obama and his First Lady.

C_R_Eature July 14, 2011 at 5:17 am

Oh, no. It has to be This National Embarrassment.

JoshuaNorton July 13, 2011 at 7:13 pm

marking the first time ever that a living President has made their autographs available in a trading card product

It's the first time a "living president" has been that crass. (If you call that living.)

lumpenprole July 14, 2011 at 10:42 am

Makes Nixon's exile look like a dignified retirement from public life.

Limeylizzie July 13, 2011 at 7:17 pm

OK, I know next to nothing about baseball, after all it isn't cricket, but I do recall this monstrous dopey cunt just drooling every time some baseball team went to the White House.

user-of-owls July 13, 2011 at 7:32 pm

Everything after 'drooling' is superfluous, dearest.

Limeylizzie July 13, 2011 at 7:43 pm

Yes, that's true, my love.

Chet Kincaid July 13, 2011 at 7:57 pm

He used to own the Texas Rangers.

flamingpdog July 13, 2011 at 8:13 pm

Kind of, with money borrowed from Poppy's friends, a sweetheart deal that allowed him to sit in an upscale box and make off with cool millions after it was all over.

ShaveTheWhales July 14, 2011 at 1:34 am

This raises the possibility of a W cricket card, with him positioned at Silly Fuck-off.

ProudLibunatic July 13, 2011 at 7:23 pm

Gee, Tops, thanks for reminding me of how I hate this fuckity-fuck-fuck, rat faced, smug, idiot, dipshit, fuck-face! (Did I forget fuck-head?)

It's bad enough to be from NYC and be a Yankee Fan that has to endure the sight of Rudy "Ferret-Face" Giulliani and his dog-killer wife…BUT THIS!

Mumbletypeg July 13, 2011 at 7:24 pm

Kirsten can we have our Comment Winner of the Week award back in action pleeeease.. I can think of any number of contenders the past few weeks…

AJWjr. July 13, 2011 at 7:27 pm

Fucking autopen, man!

glamourdammerung July 13, 2011 at 7:28 pm
HistoriCat July 13, 2011 at 10:46 pm

I'm sure it will be breathlessly reported … any day now. Yup … reeeaaallll sooon ….

Doktor Zoom July 13, 2011 at 7:30 pm

I want the "Curveball" card, with a bunch of made-up statistics about Iraqi WMDs–no two are alike!

Nostrildamus July 13, 2011 at 7:36 pm

Meh. Jarbara had a better arm.

And was really good at "pickle".

Callyson July 13, 2011 at 7:36 pm

Reminds me of what Homer Simpson said when he gave up beer for a month and then went to a ball game:
"I never knew how boring this game was without beer."

DahBoner July 13, 2011 at 7:38 pm

If only W. had saved the condom from "Jeff Gannon", that would probably worth millions on eBay…

zhubajie July 13, 2011 at 8:27 pm

Maybe "Jeff" will sell it one day!

Nostrildamus July 13, 2011 at 7:39 pm

It's interesting to see W's name written in the original Klingon.

LetUsBray July 13, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Bah, call me when they come out with a Readers of "My Pet Goat" series of trading cards.

hollywooddood July 13, 2011 at 7:52 pm

Is he wearing a codpiece again? I can't tell.

PristineODummy July 13, 2011 at 9:15 pm

Is he pushing a basket? Then he's wearing a codpiece. Otherwise, you'd see a depression where his dick is supposed to be.

lulzmonger July 14, 2011 at 4:06 am

In fairness, neither can he.

Pat_Pending July 13, 2011 at 7:53 pm

This would only be appropriate if it were that turd's only way to make a living, sitting on a folding chair in front of a folding table waiting for 'fans' to pay 3 bucks a signature, waiting with his little stack of cards, waiting, waiting…

Oblios_Cap July 14, 2011 at 8:02 am

A more pathetic version of Pete Rose?

Warpde July 13, 2011 at 7:56 pm

Shannon Stone, a Texas Rangers fan, dies tiring to catch a baseball and Josh Hamilton will feel like a piece of shit for the rest of his life.

Yet G "Yee-hah!" W is a fucking hero that has caused, through stooopidity, countless of lives.

I need another drink.

PristineODummy July 13, 2011 at 9:16 pm

Pour me one too. I can't look at this hateful, spoiled little shit without feeling the overwhelming need for consciousness-altering substances.

MinAgain July 13, 2011 at 8:00 pm

marking the first time ever that a living President has made their autographs available in a trading card product.

And President Bush's "how low can you go" campaign continues apace.

GunToting[Redacted] July 13, 2011 at 8:04 pm

Hooray! NooMan (or whatever) is following me again!! He's strangely infatuated with free grocery delivery. Apparently Barry was injecting his DNA into those Pakistani kids along with the fake vaccine. I'd try to figure it out, but I'm trying to cut back on my drinking.

PristineODummy July 13, 2011 at 9:19 pm

NoManhood appears to have changed his name about five times lately. First he followed me as Gimp. Then, for reasons known only to the extraplanetary creatures possessing his brain, he followed me twice more as Gimp. Then he changed his name to something Vietnamese-sounding, and followed me twice more. Today, he's BHO's Fake Vaccination, or something else, and he's following me yet again. Actually, he might be a she who just ain't gettin enough lovin. Michele Bachmann, maybe?

BarackMyWorld July 13, 2011 at 8:10 pm

Should make a great gift for the idiots in your life who insist America was on the right track right up until Jan. 20th, 2009.

flamingpdog July 13, 2011 at 8:20 pm

"Could a President George W. Bush someday be worth more than a Honus Wagner?"

Considering a Honus Wagner card is so valuable because it's so rare, I suspect after five to ten years of people spitting on, burning, peeing on, and wiping their ass with the Bush card, it will be quite rare, too. Also.

Oh, and Nomind/Dogass's card will be ruined by the multiple semen stains.

PristineODummy July 13, 2011 at 9:20 pm

Upfist for multiple semen stains, because I'm louche.

C_R_Eature July 13, 2011 at 8:25 pm

Are we ever going to be rid of this wretched Fuckstick?

The only way I'd buy any of these cards is if all the proceeds went to all the surviving families of the people killed in the ill-conceived and executed wars (Iraq, Afghanistan, places we don't know about yet), on-the job fuckups (9/11, the Anthrax letters – remember them?). and mismanaged crises (Katrina, Enron – remember that? -the collapse of the worldwide banking system. Yes, that killed people) that this evil drunken sociopathic mannequin and his merry band of Droogs dumped upon the world.

Oh, if all the money went to fund the International War Crimes Court I'd be good with that too.

zhubajie July 13, 2011 at 8:29 pm

So how come the entire Bush administration is not on trial some place?

PristineODummy July 13, 2011 at 9:23 pm

I'd love to see it happen, but I suspect that at least 1/3 of the country would be very much against it. Also, it sets bad precedent for the US to turn over its war criminals for the world court to deal with. At least until American Exceptionalism and the White Man's Burden have run their course. IIRC, Great Britain didn't turn over Churchill either, despite the fact that he was responsible for the deaths of millions of brown people. Currently, only Teh Browns get tried for that kind of stuff, although the recent trials of Whites like the Serbians, for example, are somewhat encouraging. But then again, that's a small, poor country that lost the bombfest. Ain't gonna happen to the country with the most and biggest guns.

smitallica July 13, 2011 at 8:37 pm

If I bend this card in half, will that make it go fuck itself?

JackObin July 13, 2011 at 8:59 pm

I need no further proof that baseball is for assholes. I mean, why isn't this blithering idiot out doing the work of his favorite philosopher, jesus christ?

flamingpdog July 13, 2011 at 11:51 pm

Jesus loved the sinner, but I think Dubya may be a little too much for even him.

user-of-owls July 13, 2011 at 9:09 pm

"You throw the first pitch with the arm you have—not the arm you might want or wish to have at a later time."

MilwaukeeKent July 13, 2011 at 9:15 pm

"Alright, you've covered your ass, now get out of here!"
G.W.Bush to CIA daily briefer, who delivered the message "Bin Laden determined to strike in U.S.", early August 2001, in Crawford TX.

Never Forget.

Slim_Pickins July 13, 2011 at 9:23 pm

Being the first LIVING President to make "their autographs available in a trading card product.” Implies dead Presidents do it all the time.

Barrelhse July 13, 2011 at 9:44 pm

I suppose this will give Roger Clemons and Pete Rose some ideas.

user-of-owls July 14, 2011 at 1:45 am

Realistically, though, the Clemons/Rose ticket is only marginally less viable than any current configuration of the GOP field so…um, so…

Clemons/Rose 12!
The Crooks You Know!!

And, fittingly, Tiririca as Senate Leader

ttommyunger July 13, 2011 at 9:58 pm

Arguably the most hated man in the World. Undoubtedly the most hated living man in the World. If he weren't such an oblivious cunt, I would feel sorry for him.

Steverino247 July 13, 2011 at 10:04 pm

I'll make this short and sweet. If you want to read about heroes, go here:
http://www.history.army.mil/moh.html

Any one of them will do.

rocktonsam July 13, 2011 at 10:13 pm

his rookie card was more awesome

he threw right handed to keep everybody off guard but it was the coke

asshole

donner_froh July 13, 2011 at 11:33 pm

Sell enough autographed cards, pay for the war that the GOP steadfastly refused to fund when Bush was in office.

The_Great_Gazoo July 14, 2011 at 12:16 am

I wanna grudge-f*ck him now more than ever.

mavenmaven July 14, 2011 at 12:31 am

I'd be more excited if he was the first living ex-president to appear on Dancing With the Stars.

berkeleyfarm July 14, 2011 at 1:05 am

He did ok for the Yankees that year – one of the few times I've felt any sympathy for the Bombers – but his record with the Rangers in last year's Series was similar, I think, to what the wars have both become.

fuflans July 14, 2011 at 1:58 am

nah in that picture he's too young to be that sober.

Negropolis July 14, 2011 at 3:02 am

And, here I was just starting to forget Shilling…

You are a most cruel mistress, Wonkette, a most cruel mistress, indeed.

lulzmonger July 14, 2011 at 4:05 am

Coming Soon: Dubya's Greatest Disco Hits On K-Tel™!

"Hi, I'm President George Bush, & tonight I'd like to talk to you about diarrhea."

bflrtsplk July 14, 2011 at 6:34 am

Is there a Bush card where he reads "My Pet Goat" upside down?

Redhead July 14, 2011 at 7:43 am

I'm sure the local coke dealer would be happy to have a signed picture of one of his biggest consumers. Not in lieu of actual payment, of course (nice try, Georgie Boy!)

cheetojeebus July 14, 2011 at 8:02 am

Man, Those guys at "Wacky Packs" hit it out of the park with this one!

GortRay July 14, 2011 at 12:28 pm

I hate that smirking chimp motherfucker with a white hot rage that will keep me going when USAAmerica becomes "The Road." I am determined to outlive that vile piece of Bushit.

sportshort July 14, 2011 at 12:39 pm

What, no "Everyone Who Died At Ground Zero" series? (Pause.) Too soon?

NadePaulKuciGravMcKi July 16, 2011 at 3:09 pm

bush cheney rove rummy rice
The deceptions are in tatters.

The September 11 Racket

user-of-owls July 13, 2011 at 7:37 pm

"Um, Mister Therapy? Sorry to bother you again, but a Mr. Rob Light is on Line Three. He says he is Ms.Carey's agent and sir, he sounds all het up."

PuckStopsHere July 14, 2011 at 6:40 am

Clearly, this Wall person has no athletic ability whatsoever and, as such, should fit in well with the Wizards.

BaldarTFlagass July 13, 2011 at 7:51 pm

I almost cried when Fraser died. And with no "Flashman" Civil War book!

Dudleydidwrong July 13, 2011 at 8:42 pm

"Hero" is one of the most bastardized words in our language, and as such it has become worthless; if all are heroes then none are heroes and those whose acts (see above) are truly heroic have been insulted beyond measure by the 'heroes" of sports and community service and every other act that is given that label. Bush is no more of a hero than some comic book non-existent cape wearer. Shame on you, George. Shame on you. I'm surprised that the bastard doesn't strut around with medals pinned to his fucking underwear.

PristineODummy July 13, 2011 at 9:13 pm

Not to be overly picky, but it's "Gurkhas."

Neilist_Returns July 13, 2011 at 8:04 pm

The story of his Medal of Honor is lost — LOST — to the world.

:::Sob!!!!::::

(And you people claim I have no FEELINGS!!!!!)

Boy! BOY! Another G&T here! Chop! Chop!

And this time put some ice in it! I-C-E.

Bloody wogs. This Club has not been the same since The Somme.

zhubajie July 13, 2011 at 8:26 pm

Maybe an unfinished MS? I heard him say in an interview that he had the plot worked out but hadn't constructed the dialog. Of course, his dialog cannot be imitated.

Neilist_Returns July 14, 2011 at 12:56 am

You say "tomato," I say "knife waving homicidal little dwarfs with pigtails," etc.

There's a song in there somewhere.

BaldarTFlagass July 14, 2011 at 8:33 am

From what I've read, his habit was to spend quite a bit of time on the research, then sit down and crank the book out in a month or two. I remember thinking at the time I read it that it seemed there was little chance for anything posthumous being published. It's too bad. He was a cranky old conservative cuss, but I didn't know that when I read my first Flashman back at age 13 or so, and was hooked. I still go back and blast through the whole series every few years, got them all in hardbound for just that reason.

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