Ron Paul, currently on his third run for president, is finally “in it to win” this time: he announced he will not seek re-election to his Congressional seat so he can focus on his presidential run. This has led to a massive outpouring of grief from sobbing Paultards, who all want to know WHO NOW POSSIBLY will be that lone person to cast “nay” votes on bills to divest U.S. government interests supporting genocide in Darfur. Cooler heads, however, have correctly figured out that this move is all just part of Ron Paul’s secret plan.Â
All of this is happening over at the Daily Paul, where the news has hit like a tornado in a trailer park. Is there a secret plan to use the secret code written in the Constitution by the Founders that can give Ron Paul instructions on how to win a national election with 1-3 states? Or was Ron Paul just predestined by the Constitution to come save America from itself, as the Founders wrote? OH LOOK AND HERE IS SOME OF THE CODE:
THERE ARE SO MANY CLUES TO UNRAVEL. CALL NADER, HE WILL HELP FIND THE ANSWER.
We look forward to the Paul/Nader/Gore/Johnson 2012 ticket. [Daily Paul/ The Facts]
{ 279 comments }
Paul’s “Use By” date expired a long time ago.
Actually, I think there is a picture of him in some secret lair of the Illuminati, with the following caption:
"Do NOT use, even in case of emergency."
All we are saying, is give tards a chance.
~
May as well. We gave* Bush a chance. And then another chance**.
__________________________
* he stole it
** both times
http://bit.ly/mP7PGv – trucknuuuuuuutz
Tear off the band-aid and give peas a chance.
I have a secret document that explains it all. Meet me at midnight by the Gravel pit.
Is it a map to a room full of treasure? Are we meeting at the gravel pit or the Mike Gravel pit?
§ÛĉЌ Ñ–×– ŧαř₫ş!!!!!!!!11111wononewanjuan
I see what you did there.
Can't we meet at the conversation pit this time?
He is just planning to spend more time with his family, under health coverage of the socialist Medicare
Rue Paul has a better chance. he can be the POTUS and the FLOTUS all at once.
And he'd say more reasonable things during the debates.
Please tell me the debates will involve lip-synching for their lives.
And you know who gets shit done in a cabinet meeting? A mob of bitches decked in wigs and Gucci pumps.
Get shit done, get out before the 5 o'clock shadow shows. I like it!
Sounds like Giuliani
This is why Giuliani should run again.
Also Buddy Roemer. Oh, wait, he is. Never mind.
Can we set Ron Paul adrift in his blimp now?
air flow, ice floe…one of the two.
No more Rep. Ron Paul? Another Texas town will be not be missing its idiot.
There seems to be a lot of that going on in Texas lately, Nancy Grace should investigate.
She'll just want them all executed. How fun is that. Oh. Wait. I see what you did there.
I wouldn't wish Nancy Grace on my worst, mortal enemies.
i just spent a week in Lake Jackson, TX. they have enough to go around.
Tom DeLay's wee bit of gerrymandering took Paul's district (runs along the coast south of Galveston) and mashed in chunk of Galveston County known to be infested with liberals, gays, and immigrants, thus knocking out the old Galveston district that was reliably Democratic. Hopefully, Paul not running will allow the liberals, gays, and immigrants to get some representation that doesn't frickin offend them.
Needs moar made-up shit about the Constitution.
Needs moar freedumb also too.
There's a certain charm to the Paultards' earnest nuttiness, which sets them apart from the GOP/bagger/wingnut nastiness and stupidity. I'll miss them.
I promise to miss them too if they ever go away.
I feel the same way about downfist troll.
Sadly, I think we may be witnessing the birth of another cult like Scientology.
The libertardians have been at the cult stage for years.
The passed that hurdle long ago.
I don't think you'll have to. They'll probly start HEARTing Rand.
When they first appeared, they seemed like the wackiest outlier possible. After two years of teabaggers, Ron Paul looks like Vanilla with nuts mixed in.
"Heck of a last stand"?
Where have I heard that phrase before?
FEMA headquarters?
Nazi Germany?
Paul/ Custer 2012
Little Big Easy?
Lemonade dispensary manned by juveniles at State and Main?
Smokey and the Bandit II?
"Empty Cans" by the Streets?
Golgotha?
Fort Apache, Bronx?
Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid?
X-Men 3?
Christopher Reeve?
The Adventures of Baron Munchausen?
Could we rename the Paultards to be Custards?
Hitler's bunker?
metamarcisf got more answers, but I give the edge to FNMA for avoiding the stock question-form and for the quality of the responses. Golf clap!
Is the bassackwards R similar in meaning to the backwards K in bazebawl meaning ya struck out with the bat on your shoulder? It must, it simply must.
The "R" looks suspiciously Russian. Wake up, sheeple!!11!!!11!
All we are saying, is stay in bed and grow your hair.
~
If he wins 3/5ths of the electoral college he probably would win.
Shhh! Don't tell anyone.
Well, yeah, and if my uncle had tits, he'd be my aunt.
Sometimes that happens. But not always.
He's going to do a Sarah Palin type ‘road trip’ in his blimp.
This might take a year or two, by which time he will decide to make a run for it.
him and Phileas Fogg.
I bet this secret plan involves sweet baby jesus and gold… And that blimp…. Oh, I just freaked myself out.
Ron Paul stayed flat.
And Chris Christie stayed…oh,its just too easy.
Christie is a mean, obese bully with a name better suited to a bisexual disc jockey from an AM Oldies radio station. In Delaware.
I KNEW the "plain language of the Constitution" had a lot of secrets. Like how to "elect" Ron Paul POTUS after he wins "1-3 states". That's why the Tea Parties looove the Constitution … because it has secrets only they can see.
Invisible ink!!1!!!
Who will Ron Quixote's Sancho Panza be?
Chris Christie?
He's got the panza for it.
What about the Danza?
Who is this "Danza" of whom you speak?
Drew Carey?
A gold bullion outfitted to look like Ayn Rand?
All of the Paultards, Katie
His longtime pal Willis "The Holocaust is a lie" Carto.
it's a riddle, wrapped in an enigma, covered in shit.
The Ron is dead, long live the Rand.
Er, no. I have a list of people whom I wish to have shorter-than-average life spans, and Rand just made it.
Socialism bad! Nepotism good!
Harry Osborn discovers Dad's masks and stinkbombs!!
Yeah, uh, the whole collecting delegates thing when you're a minor candidate doesn't work. Just ask Dennis Kucinich about his 2004 run, where he pretty much tried to do the same thing.
Having said that, good luck Ron Paul. At least good luck to the 47% of your views I agree with, and a big F.O. to the other 53%.
Yeah. For every "legalize harmless recreational drugs," there's always a "nothing should ever be regulated, EVER." You can flip that 1 Amero coin a zillion times, and half the time, it's still coming up crazy.
"Nothing should ever be regulated, except for the lady parts of the people who have them. Regulating those is totally cool."
Wait, is he a pro-lifer?
People don't realize how close Kucinich was to negotiating a co-presidency with Barry.
"legalizeliberty", haha, oh man these guys
i thought the same thing when i read that.
in general i find paultards far more enduring than teatards, but shit like that…
That is because you are one of the sheeple, man!
Who will proclaim the virtues of independence and small government while seeking earmarks to promote shrimp production in Texas now?
National Treasure 3: The Ron Paul Story
The Good Doctor? I didn't know Dr. Gonzo was running for POTUS. Where the hell is Oscar Zeta Acosta? I really would vote for him before I'd vote for this idiotic Ron Paul person or his equally idiotic son.
two words: the hindenberg
If he wins, I hope that we will all celebrate on Independance Day, when the ghosts of all of the Founding Fathers end up on Dancing with the Stars, just independancing themselves and all of us into some kind of crazy red, white and blue rapture.
That'd be pretty cool even if he didn't win. It'd take something like that to get me to watch that show.
This way of winning the presidency is so genius…it has never happened in over 220 years of electing presidents!!!
You know who else had one heck of a last stand?
John Wayne?
Charles Bukowski?
custer?
Downfisting troll?
Custer?
Heather Mills?
Ftw.
Oooo, you're good.
Achilles?
(for you Led Zep buffs)
You've got some Presence
The mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the earth. Or shrug, whatever.
44th (East Essex) Regiment of Foot at Gandamack?
300 Spartans?
The lemonade kids at the U.S. Open?
Lucy van Pelt?
Christopher Reeve?
I bow before your poor taste.
Charles Krauthammer? Oh wait.
Optimus Prime? (I'm talking the good movie here, not those shitty Michael Bay live action crapfests).
Threat Level Midnight?
Mr. Catherine Kieu Becker?
Oh, ow…
Hey, at least somebody got it.
All my friends from OC sent the story to me. My take-away from it, avoid mail-order brides from SE Asia, they'll cut your dick off!
Priapus?
Well, I don't know about his last stand, but he has a huge opening. Rick Perry.
Kortney's giant zucchini?
Chief Joseph?
Ron Paul would have made a good Sharper Image Manager at most. What a Country!
Not sharp enough.
Will someone save me before I fully retreat into my Dino-bellum?
This is the kind of strategizing that results when 5,000 dungeon masters form their own political party.
They can't allow Iran to acquire Magic Missiles.
Perhaps they know the answer to the great burning question of the day: how many hit points does Mitt Romney have?
If this was software, I could dig into the code and tell you. After I lowered them, of course.
+1
d4 + 1
Paul/Rupaul 2012, bitches.
Paul, Rupaul. "Shaken, not stirred?"
what about Les Paul?
The late Lester William Polsfuss, Wizard of Waukesha, was, in the end, too good for this world, and far too good to ever run for Vice President of Delusional Jerk-Offs.
May he strum away at the Iriduum Jazz Club in the sky.
Fuck that – Rupaul is second to no one!
… the Paul/Nader/Gore/Johnson ticket …
After that it's Johnsons all the way down.
R3V#&$%#$@!(*@^$><%$%$#~+0lution THIS!
CARRIER LOST
To that, I say â„ ® © ™¶ § ¹ ² ³€ ¥ £ä ¿ ¡ ö ñ ű ú ßáéí!!!1!
You would.
mr scott ryan:
i like how this is shaping up too!
He's out of the House so he can focus on losing his Presidential bid–a win-win, really.
A downfisting Paultard stalks the interwebs. . . .
Yeah, but what does the REAL Ron Paul have to say?
http://www.eaglebankblog.com
Worst. National Treasure. Ever.
win a national election with 1-3 states
i think this must be a second amendment solution.
nothing says love liberty & freedom better than "let's find loopholes so Ron Paul can win the presidency with only 8% of the vote"!"
This guy has five kids, counting Randy, so we may not have heard the last from the Pauls…
bring on the lolz…
And then there's Tito Paul and Marlon Paul.
"A 6'5" 275lb. man with tears running down my face."
I love how he had to specify both his height and his weight – all to dispel our deeply hurtful stereotype that Paultards live off arugula and vigorous outdoor activity.
Hey, don't discount the swing vote potential of America's sentimental libertarian bear bloc.
Fucking no one ever listens to Ranger Smith. Do NOT feed the Bears.
But how many Penn Jillettes are out there, really?
Apparently they 'carry him inside them' now. Like a weird little libertarian doctor baby or something. Fucking creepy.
I was thinking more along the lines of an Alien.
Spawn Paul?
Win!
My guess: he's lying about his height.
That 6? Well, it's actually a 5.
I'm 6'4", under 200 and am not underweight.
Unless he is a center for the Knicks, 275 is overweight/obese, even for that height…
It's a secret in men's want ad in paultard code . Tears=semen
Oh, El P – I love that talking dog. Aaaaaawwwwwww, no chicken with cheese!
Yeah lately I've been hooked on funny animal videos, but that one is a classic.
S Ξ M Ξ N A T ↑ ☼ N
He thinks it makes him sound like a tough guy moved to tears, as opposed to the blubbering fat fuck that he no doubt is.
I also like how the post 'A little bummed out' is followed by 'Don't be bumbed'.
You forgot the self diagnosis of Asperger syndrome.
Well it's no surprise that if you over-stuff the casing, you're gonna have tears. Even a novice sausage-maker could tell you that.
The solution, my friends, involves Freemasons, a speculum, Rick Santorum and lots of baby oil.
That is all I can reveal at this juncture.
You left out the Illuminati.
I'm generally a nice, nonviolent liberal, but if Rick Santorum was ever anywhere near me with a speculum, he'd be having an early reunion with all those aborted ghost fetii he loves so much. Oh, wait, not where you were going. Oh, well, a true statement, nonetheless.
Don't forget Rasputin and the Nazi Thule Society.
Rick Santorum doesn't DO baby oil. Unless it's made from fresh babies, that is.
There is that Bilderberg / Skull and Bones key party coming up.
You haven't heard? I've said too much…
Is that one in three states, or 33% of the states, or one to three states, as in Vermont, Oregon, &/or Idaho?
Either way, of course, Ron is expecting to split the vote enough to throw this into the house (Obama 265 electoral votes, GOP 260, Paul 12).
No, you moran 1-3 states means TWO. Two states by *snicker* write -in vote and he's the presnit!
Actually I think it what your numbers suggest, although taking 16+ states, seriously? (However that's 20 states using flea bagger maths)
No, he can do it. The only trick is get 46 or 47 of the other states to secede before election day.
I think it means one minus three states, which is exactly how many Ron Paul will win.
Such a spry 75 year old man.
Considering how bad the job aged both Barry and Bubba, I'm guessing Ron Paul would look like the cryptkeeper at the end of his, LOL, "term."
What do you mean at the "end" of his "term"?
Well I guess that last part gave NaderPaulKucinichGravel a stiffy.
From the Daily Paul (really? every damn day?)
Submitted by Tominellay on Tue, 07/12/2011 – 15:46.
Ron Paul has led this horse to water…up to us to drink it, elect him president...
Horse? Maybe he means Magic Pony? Then the paultards drink the water, and shazam—Prez Paul!
Seems to me that farcical aquatic ceremonies are hardly the basis for a system of government, but then they do have a horse.
Wait! Does the horse represent the blimp?
As if a Paultard has ever drank water. Diet Coke or Die!
I think it's all Mountain Dew.
IMPORTANT SUGGESTION: Drink the water upstream from the horse.
Ron Paul has brewed the Kool Aid — it's up to us to drink it!
"Seems to me that farcical aquatic ceremonies are hardly the basis for a system of government,"
Leave AquaBuddha out of this!!
Sounds like they're planning to drink the horse. Cum shots?
That's what I thought at first, but what a gynecologist and his horse do together that makes grown men cry is entirely their business.
Hands off my Horse Cum! .
Cummed-on Enough Already.
Did you remember to water my Tree of Liberty with Horse Cum? 'Cos it looks a bit wilted.
The legalization of pot will take a big, hefty hit.
If only the stoners would remember to vote….
if you choose to drink the free market benzene water, please flip back to comment page 3 to continue the search for the presidential gold in the Klan's gun shack, right next to the cases of Monster Energy drink.
The TardBlimp has gone flatulence-line. Run outa gaz.
Pssst. A bit of advice. If it's on YouTube it's not a secret.
"I like how this is shaping up" ????
That's like Custer at the Little Big Horn saying "We have them right where we want them!"
Best Paultard Comment Yet , for realz:
"This is stupid…
Submitted by phenn on Tue, 07/12/2011 – 14:45.
A 6'5" 275lb. man with tears running down my face.
Don't ever think that for one moment Dr. Paul that anything you have done has ever been in vain. We all carry you inside us now, and it will never go away, you have taught and inspired us.
Let's roll! "
Yeah, Ron Paul is Harry Potter/doomed 9/11 airplane passenger. With a horse.
I think that means they all blew him and are now incubating some new horrible life form.
Yeah. The phrase "We all carry you inside us now, and it will never go away" really makes me a little queasy.
Yeah…
"We all carry you inside us now, and it will never go away….like a tumor which can flourish and grow, free from the interference of big government socialized medicine"
where do they get this bizarre "inspiration"? There's certainly nothing in Ron Paul's record that makes me think he's a shining beacon of freedom or whatever. And these zealots would dare criticize people who got excited about Obama?
DOCTOR Ron Paul is like a noble WASP Lakota chief, who gets upset and teary about Ameros instead of piles of trash—or something, There's got to be peyote involved. and SKOAL. Who knows?
Let's roll
Certainly more realistic than walking at 275 lb.
Those are beautiful words.
I'm gettin' like all misty.
Is that horse as in heroin, or like a Trojan?
Like a Trojan touched for the very first time, maybe
Or heroin, or a Trojan horse, or a condom?
Or as in "he's from Troy, he's a Trojan'
Basically what ever Doctor Ron Paul want it to be…bless him ! ,
Additionally, if you cross your fingers and shout "No Backsies" it becomes illegal to impeach any president with the initals "RP".
IT'S RIGHT THERE IN THE CONSTITUTION PEOPLE!
p∑∆ƈ∑ ð∪+ !!!!
illegal to impeach any president with the initals "RP".
Oh fuck…you know who else is a 'contender' from Texas??
This all proves one thing: writing computer code develops parts of the brain that drive out the ability to deal with reality.
With this inspiration, I will no longer work at the AM/PM mart so I can focus all my energy on winning the lottery.
You think we have a new Paultard downfister or is it the same ol' Breitbarttard douchebag?
He answered my question by immediately following me. Welcome Dau Tranh (Breitbarttard)
Welcome to the saddest club in the world.
Different player, same song.
I wish that one of them could come up with some independent thought and pithy remarks.
It's the same old guy; for some reason he likes to change his name, then unfollow and re-follow everyone; what he thinks it's for I have no clue.
If you're lucky, he'll follow you three times in the space of two days! (My own personal record so far.)
Neither does he.
Code word libunatic, it's the same old spanky2b.
That teensy-weensy pricklet is following ME now. What, Gimp in a leather bottom mask wasn't enough? This guy's probly into poop-play, though. A poopy bottom.
Lets just hope Dr. Paul starts a third party as soon as possible, we may need this Ross Perot 2.0 in 2012.
I'm guessing these Constitutional secrets are the same crazy secrets discovered by local housewife to lose ugly belly fat. It's spam, paultards, don't open it.
They sell Extenze at most of the big chain drug stores now. You don't need to order your male enhancement products on the Internet anymore.
But, those lovely Asian ladies really do want to love me, right?
It's that "One weird Constitutional secret"!!!!!
Someone's tinfoil hat is on too tight.
If you don't ground them right, they only concentrate the rays!
This is good news for costume shops that specialize in colonial garb.
YourOpenBook has some great Paultard conniption fits going down. My favorite comment, though, is this jolly fellow:
"Ron Paul? Isn't that the guy Bruno tried to make a pass at in his movie?"
YES!!
9000 waxed anuses to that intertube denizen!
Hey now it's time for you and me
Got a revolution Got to revolution
Come on now we're marching to the sea
Got a revolution Got to revolution
Who will take it from you
We will and who are we
we are volunteers of America
I don't think this is quite what Paul Kantner and Marty Balin had in mind when they wrote this song.
maybe they are thinking more like Lennon:
You want a Paul-tard revolution, well, you know…
we all love to read Ayn Rand.
got a loophole in the Consitution, well, you know….
that's the teabag secret plan!
I'm thinking more "Up against the wall, up against the wall, motherfuckers".
Or maybe "Either go away or go all the way in."
OH LOOK AND HERE IS SOME OF THE CODE:
"Take 3 tokes off AQUA BUDDHA and then hang up a sign at a lunch counter that says:"
NO
SMOKINGBLACKSIf he gets elected, will we all have to start writing in those bizarre symbols? I hope not, I have a hard enough time just doing the Alt-13 and Alt-14 thing for the musical notes.
NORMAL LETTERING IS A CONSPIRACY PERPETRATED BY THE FEDERAL RESERVE.
It's like when the Balrog ate Gandalf!!
Obstetro-Congressman-Mister-Doctor Ron Paul says sensible things about not having so many discretionary wars. But when he gets to talking about the gold standard, the Fed an evil conspiracy, etc, it makes you think he's probably a better physician than an economist.
Nonetheless he'll be missed! Rand isn't nearly so charming.
I first read, "Obstrepero-Congressman," which I think more aptly captures the essence of the man if not his vocation.
He's likethe wacky relative at a family party who corners you and wants to talk about the 200-mpg carburetor that GM or the oil companies bought up and suppressed. “No, really! I saw it in Popular Mechanix! Can't remember which issue, but it's true!”
Oh no, that's the sane relative. The one who tries to foist a badly-xeroxed copy of a John Birch Society newsletter or say today's Washington Times, now that's the one where you want to simulate Sudden-Onset-Hemorrhagic-Fever symptoms.
"Secret way to have Ron Paul win 2012 Election"
You know, for people who love liberty so much, they seem to like anti-democratic tyranny an awful lot.
And his son could fix that.
It's like a Hagar / Van Halen reunion ALL OVER AGAIN!
Quick, has anyone heard of the sudden disappearance or headless finding of a circuit boy recently?
Ron is simply retiring to spend more time with his family. And Holocaust denier pals.
Paul/3/4's of Texas 2012!
Based on Dr. Paul's decades of experience as a practicing GynoMysogynist, there is no problem that can't be solved with a liberty-yeast-pill and a freedom douche! To the stirrups, America! Ride the Invisible Hand!!
The Walrus is Paul.
If these people were any more stupid their involuntary muscles would stop.
Also, doesn't that backwards R look kinda… I dunno… Communist?????
They were only using wingdings in the hope of hitting the swastika one.
You can't spell 'independant' without 'pedant'!
yep…and if he runs as an independent, he'll hang around the neck of the GOP and drag them down.
Is that why the Paul Party's mascot is an albatross? Finally, that makes sense! I'd long thought it should be the armadillo, because it's from Texas, is small, has thick armor, and is often found smashed along the side of the road. But the albatross is a good one, too.
You can't spell 'independant' without 'pedant'
'inept' also.
I love how everything with Paultards comes down to hidden messages and unproveable as well as unfeasible conspiracy. And everyone who disagrees is never just wrong, but horrific and evil personified. Kind of sounds like schizophrenia to me.
Well junior paul thinks you don't need a license to practice medicine. I guess senior pauly thinks you don't need votes to be president.
There are not a lot of good combinations for the words "Secret" and "Election".
Um, "Secretion"?
Sorry. Rick Santorum's already using that one.
Yes, the founders devised a BRILLIANT electoral system whereby delegates pick the president, thereby ensuring that, say, a Demoocrat's vote in Texas will be meaningless and a single county in Ohio can give George Bush a second term. Go fuck yourselves, founding fathers.
Really not much of a mystery here, you dizzy children, just a misplaced hyphen: In the Founders' day, you win 1-3 states, it's called a 'unanimous vote,' not a 'secret.'
This sounds like some movie with Tom Hanks in it that's boring and hard to follow.
Worse. Nicholas Cage.
Peoria mom discovers one weird old tip in Constitution to elect Ron Paul to the presidency! <click here>
Ron Paul?
He's sill alive?
Damn!!!!
Relax, Paultards, Young Rand is waiting in the wings, breathing through his mouth, eyes glazed, hair akimbo, semi-erect and ready to take the Baton from the Master of Crazy.
I saw him referred to as the "intellectual godfather" of the tea party. Any sentence that puts intellect and tea party together is hilarious.
If Ron Paul can collect enough superdelegates, he can totally pull this off. And when you look at the sheer number of Republican superdelegates, it becomes obvious that all Future President Paul has to do is… oh, wait… never mind…
Who will be the crazy grandpa of the Congress, now? Our Robert Byrd is gone, no longer there to wander the halls at night looking for the chamber doors. Now our poor Ron Paul Revere won't be there to scream at us that the debt ceiling is coming in fast, whilst ringin' those bells and shootin' those warnin' shots.
I'd nominate John Conyers, Sandy Levin, and John Dingell, all octagenarian Democrats from the Metro Detroit, but none have the force of personality, alone, to respectably carry such a burden and title. BARBARIC!
http://www.benzlogo.com/
I tide fashion Good-looking, not expensive Free transport
"Paultards" ?
See You Soon
no Gore please
thank you much
I don't know who came up with that shit about demure, submissive Asian women. I have a Thai gf whose mother told her to keep ducks in case she needed to cut her old man's dick off. Feed it to them, she said, and he'll never sew it back on. Urk.
Comments on this entry are closed.