Wisconsin Becomes Orgy of Chaos As Recall Elections Begin

  war forever

madison used to be so nice this time of year.The forces of good and evil resume their bilious clouded swirl over the state of Wisconsin today as primary voters go to cast votes in the state’s recall elections against six of Scott Walker’s senate puppets, and it is already just an orgy of dead fetuses and robots. Robocalls possibly from Wisconsin “Right to Life” are reportedly going out to voters telling them to stay home or to vote for fake candidates. We say “fake candidates” because Wisconsin allows open primaries, which means the Republicans are trying to confuse the electoral process by running fake drone candidates against Democratic candidates. So pay attention, Wisconsin voters, and don’t pick the one with pupils that won’t close and the Koch Industries logo tattooed on the back of the head.  

Here is a woman reporting that she got a robocall on the blog WI Voices:

I received a call late yesterday from this so-called “Right to Life” group. Very strange. Sunday morning received the first of several robo calls promoting their fake candidate Isaac Weix — untraceable number, caller “out of my area” message. Three “missed calls” too, no message. More robo calls?

CREEPY! Blue Cheddar is reporting that one of the numbers turning up on the robocalls is the same number that sent out Scott Walker support robocalls in March. A Bloomberg reporter managed to speak to someone inside Wisconsin territory, and it sounds bleak:

“It feels like madness abounds in our state, like Wisconsin is 65,000 square miles surrounded by sanity,” said Mike McCabe, executive director of the Wisconsin Democracy Campaign, a nonprofit group that advocates openness in government.

“We’re just living in a really weird time,” McCabe added in a telephone interview from Madison.

Minnesota would try to send reinforcements, but it’s pretty much stark cold insanity over there right now, too. [Bloomberg News/ Blue Cheddar]

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218 comments

    1. Negropolis

      Coke, people; COKE! There are just as many fun jokes to be made for coke. I'm partial to Kocheads/Kochwhores.

      1. GunToting[Redacted]

        I think it reads "May you live in fucked-up times." Of course, it sounds much nicer in the original Mandarin.

  1. nounverb911

    "like Wisconsin is 65,000 square miles surrounded by sanity,”
    There's sanity in Minnesota?

    1. V572 der Plaatz

      Well, Lake Michigan has been behaving itself of late. Can't make any claims for Iowa or Illinois.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        Illinois successfully prosecuted Gov. Better Hair, so, no, they aren't being well-behaved.

      2. Doktor Zoom

        Superior, it's said, never gives up her dead
        when the winds of November come early.

    2. ChessieNefercat

      "…like Wisconsin is 65,000 square miles surrounded by sanity…"

      There's sanity in the UP?

      1. Rotundo_

        Not during deer camp there ain't. Oh hell, who am I kidding, probably not at all any more.

    1. fuflans

      from your mouth to god's ear.

      there's nothing like smug corrupt mama's little meatheads being told 'no'.

      too bad it didn't happen to that judge.

  2. Come here a minute

    Quick, everybody to the root cellar. Oh, no time — just cower under your desks!

    1. GOPCrusher

      Isn't it considered voter fraud to encourage people to vote for candidates that don't exist?

      1. Dudleydidwrong

        Not if Republicans do it–they have rights that no one else has. Deus vult!

        Now if the Democrats had done this, the MSM would make someone, possibly Obama, walk the plank into some cold, deep part of Lake Superior.

      1. OneDollarJuana

        Got an email recently with a person in the distribution list: "Michael Kuntz". I am not kidding.

        1. Doktor Zoom

          Back when I worked at a call center, I saw that last name pop up on the inbound-call window of the computer, and without thinking things through, pronounced it the way I shouldna. I don't remember a single thing about the rest of that call.

        2. zhubajie

          Donald Westlake wrote a hilarious novel, _Help I'm Being Held Prisoner!_ about the misfortunes of a man named Harry Kunt.

        1. Doktor Zoom

          Naming a park after a guy whose claim to fame was shooting down the most enemy planes in WW II is sorta dodgy to start with. The goofy name is just (Dick) icing on the proverbial (Bong) cake.

          1. horsedreamer_1

            The Highway Dept. has to be ever vigilant to keep the sign intact.

            Fortunately, for them, they got a reprieve when Stoner ran for City Council in South Milwaukee. The high-school was crawling with the yard-signs. (Don't ask me why a city-councilor race in a city of a few thousand required yard-signs.)

  3. KeepFnThatChicken

    This makes me think we've outgrown our ability to vote and endure, and would rather just vote and kill.

  4. MissusBarry

    Tis' the Koch/rethug way. These people are on to us being worthless piece of shit assfucks. Must throw red herrings, stat.

    1. user-of-owls

      Dat's a nice vote ya got dere, be a shame if, you know, somethin' happened to it.

  5. BaldarTFlagass

    Cheese orgy? I sure hope these folks get their shit together before I go up there for vacation in September.

    1. Fare la Volpe

      Who vacations in Wisconsin?

      Excuse me, that was rude. Let me rephrase that.

      Who vacations in Wisconsin by choice?

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        I lost a bet. Besides, it will be a nice opportunity to spend a week away from the flame broiler that is South Texas in September.

    2. GOPCrusher

      I had the choice of going to Wisconsin for vacation in late May, but I said Fuck it, I'll spend my vacation at home. Wasn't going to spend a dollar in any state that would vote for an asshole like Scott Walker.

          1. BaldarTFlagass

            Well, I'll be staying with friends, and am flying southwest, so my financial contribution to the state will be limited to the rental car (though a national firm), the liquor store, and maybe a couple of food items.

  6. SayItWithWookies

    The level of fucking deceit and corruption in this country's politics wouldn't be nearly so sickening if the people yelling loudest about it weren't the people actually behind it.

    C'mon Eric Holder — grow a testicle and give Murdoch and News Corp. the bitter lawyer-enhanced hatefuck they so dearly deserve.

      1. SayItWithWookies

        Don't I know it — it just relieves a little stress to yell at a brick wall every once in a while.

  7. metamarcisf

    Watch out for massive trainloads of migrant workers and convicted felons bussed into Milwaukee to perpetrate voter fraud on our tea party patriots. Luckily, females will not be allowed to vote without showing their IUD.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      Concurrent with cries of outrage over union thugs and black panther party intimidation.

  8. memzilla

    Let us initiate the Cheese Wheel-Lutefisk Exchange Program, to enable Wisconsin and Minnesota to support each other.

      1. OneDollarJuana

        Administered, no doubt, by the soon to should be retired Garrison Keillior.

        /fixed

        1. DahBoner

          Nice thing about where I live is that there are 4 progressive radio stations and all of them have the COMPASSION to not air PHC on Saturday…

    1. L188188

      Throw Michigan in there and we in the Dairy State will take some of their rusted 1973 Pontiac fenders.

  9. ifthethunderdontgetya

    Minnesota would try to send reinforcements, but it’s pretty much stark cold insanity over there right now, too.

    Don't look for help from Ohio, the Koch-smokers own the place (they paid big bucks, too).
    ~

    1. ChessieNefercat

      My naive family members in Ohio don't like Kasich, but are baffled as to how they could have wound up with such meany pants legislators and state execs.

      My sainted aunt, a dear, dear lady, isn't paying attention to Kasich because she is still upset at Notre Dame letting known abortionist President Obama speak there a year or two ago (she frets about the wee fetii, but also ex-fetii and takes seriously all those feed the hungry, care for the sick, comfort the dying, shelter the homeless beatitudes that Jesus was always going on about).

      1. zhubajie

        That's a change! Johnny Paycheck took a gun to a concert in an Ohio bar, spent 5 years in an Ohio prison.

  10. fuflans

    illinois could invade but we have no money and apparently we are now too fat from hot dogs.

  11. MLHencken

    “It feels like madness abounds in our state, like Wisconsin is 65,000 square miles surrounded by sanity,” said Mike McCabe.

    Cheese, Mike. Cheese. Wisconsin is surrounded by cheese.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      Fortunately, I don't think any of the districts have much territory in Waukesha County.

      … Darling might, though. & those few thousand heads in Menomonee Falls might be just enough. Damnit.

      Nickolaus will strike, again, & put candy in the GOP's stocking.

  12. memzilla

    Suport Union Rights In WI and MN. We must fight the corporatist elites and all become Koch Shuckers.

  13. Banelm

    If this bullshit works, the precedent it sets for the 2012 election is mighty scary. Democracy requires a minimum level of respect for the system, if it is this far gone, Presidential campaigns from here on out are going to be way more entertaining. And crazy. Mostly crazy.

    1. Sue4466

      "From here on out?" From where I sit, presidential elections got to batshit a few cycles ago.

    2. horsedreamer_1

      As with secession, South Carolina was ahead of the curve: our zen master Alvin Greene was Isaac Weix before Isaac Weix was cool.

  14. BaldarTFlagass

    There probably will be minimum voter turnout, as everyone will be at home sitting on the edge of their seats watching C-SPAN and awaiting the outcome of the critical light-bulb vote in congress.

      1. HistoriCat

        how many republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb and the country?

        I don't know but they're all giving it a try.

  15. V572 der Plaatz

    I'm hoping that anybody engaged enough in politics to turn out for a recall election is probably smart enough to recognize bogus candidates. Like that guy "Barack Obama" a couple of years back — who did the Republicans think would believe that?

  16. poorgradstudent

    I always wished I could travel back in time, and now I know what it's like living in a country where nobody even pretends that the rule of law applies to the rich anymore!

  17. BaldarTFlagass

    This shit reminds me of the elections in Afghanistan. What a fucking madhouse. Hope they have plenty of purple dye.

  18. Poindexter718

    Fez will somehow find a way to feck this up, the Red-backed robo candidate will prevail and then we'll all get high.

  19. guangho

    " Wisconsin is 65,000 square miles surrounded by sanity”
    You are overestimating your neighbors.

      1. CapeClod

        Give the likes of Baldrick the vote and we'll be back to cavorting druids, death by stoning and dung for dinner.

    1. CarnyTrash

      I always vote for the Standing at the Back Dressed Stupidly and Looking Stupid Party.

  20. horsedreamer_1

    Scooter, who would still be a State Senate backbencher if not for the County Executive re-call in '02, is really not a fan of re-calls. (Per his interview with the Milwaukee PolitiFact's editorial board.)

  21. Radiotherapy®

    Are these drone candidates part of the 250,000 jobs the cross-eyed college drop-out promised?

      1. GOPCrusher

        Isn't he sending the wrong signal to his anti-government supporters by advertising how to get government grants for small businesses?
        That just sounds kind of, well, socialist.

      2. smokefilledroommate

        I saw that–it's like a garbage site (not unlike the candidate, I guess). The links for 'How to Judge Cover Songs' and 'Macho 7oz Student Martial Arts Uniform Review' say it all.

        1. horsedreamer_1

          & he lost.

          Good on ye, St. Croix County. You're now worth something more than being the native place of Laura Ingalls.

  22. flamingpdog

    "While Prosser and Kloppenburg spent a combined $757,542, outside interests spent far more to influence the outcome. The Greater Wisconsin Committee spent almost $1.7 million in support of Kloppenburg. Wisconsin Manufacturers & Commerce, Citizens for a Strong America, Club for Growth Wisconsin and the Tea Party Express spent a combined $2.65 million on Prosser's behalf."

    New Koch Bros Wisconsin fight song: ♪ Pwn Wisconsin, Pwn Wisconsin ♪

  23. Doktor Zoom

    OK, at first I thought the illustration was Half Life 2, but I guess it's War of the Worlds.

    Which generally makes me think of the 1978 Jeff Wayne concept album.

    Which makes me feel old…as if my life were, I dunno, Forever Autumn, or something.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Because you're not here?

      Plate of shrimp moment, I had not thought of that album for years but came across it when I was going through some boxes the other day. Now you mention it. WTF.

      1. HuddledMass

        That's the Wonkette Hive Mind cultural-reference singularity in action. I've noticed it time and again.

  24. GOPCrusher

    I heard that they were going to bring in Diebold machines for the voting, but thought it might be too obvious when G.W. Bush is elected President of Wisconsin.

  25. baconzgood

    Unrelated to this post

    Baconzgood getting a whuppin boy/slave/intern? NO FUCKIN' WAY????!!! Ya must be crapin' me……Baconz gettin a whuppin boy/girl in a few weeks. COOOOOOL Someone to get me coffee and someone to sexually harass. BITCHIN!!!!!

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Glad that someone has something to look forward to. It's my fucking birthday, I'm at fucking work, and the only good news I've heard is that my surround-sound amplifier isn't fucked up and ain't gonna cost me a small fortune to get it fixed. Otherwise the only thing I've got to look forward to is the possibility of cracking 120p, stopping at the packy on the way home, and masturbating and crying myself to sleep tonight.

      1. Dudleydidwrong

        Well, hell! Happy birfday, Baldar! I'll will a come-to-life Pretty Woman of the Roy Orbison type for you when you stop at the "packy." May it happen as a birfday present. You need somethin' good. (And may a second present be the recall of the Republican assholes in weird Wisconsin.)

      2. Limeylizzie

        Oh BaldarT, it is my birthday next Monday, we are over-sensitive Cancerians, sometimes the weeping and masturbation combo is the best thing for us.

      3. BaldarTFlagass

        Well, thanks for the kind wishes, y'all! Now that I am home and punishing the rum, I feel much better than I did 2 hours ago!

        (And happy birthday-next-week, Lizzie!)

    2. Gleem_McShineys

      Please pass on what you consider your best acts of degradation, humiliation, and general unfairness to the management of Koch Industries (or Scott Walker)!

      Winning ideas could win you HOBO BEANS for LIFE!

  26. Fox n Fiends

    Where the fuck are the Socialist Green Bay Packers in all of this? A 100% union organization owned by the public – and Super Bowl Champs. This is what publically funded union employees can do, Kochasses.

    1. BklynIlluminati

      They did come out against the new labor laws and in the early protests a few players showed up. NFLPA union has gotten behind this but not particularly hardcore.

      1. DustBowlBlues

        That's more than the Baseball Players "Union" would do. If they were a union, they'd represent the players in the farm systems.

        How much, exactly, does the NFL Player's "Union" give to the AFL-CIO Pacs? Nothing? Oh, right. That union stuff is strictly for the little people–not overpaid, spoiled athletes.

        What? Me a bitter former Mariner season ticket holder? (Back when I lived there, obviously). Well, yes, yes I was. How could you tell?

        The only thing I know for sure about the NFL strike is when it's all said, and done, the fans will be screwed. As they always are.

    2. horsedreamer_1

      Irony escapes the Right in this state. Scooter was at the Super Bowl, with his kids, who were anything but humbly bragging about the VIP treatment for the patrician class.

  27. hagajim

    Aren't orgies, by their very definition, a bit chaotic. You never know where the Koch is going to end up, you just hope it isn't in your ass (at least if you're a dude) – unless, of course, that's how you roll. BUTT-SEX WISCONSIN!

  28. Allmighty_Manos

    “It feels like madness abounds in our state, like Wisconsin is 65,000 square miles surrounded by sanity,” said Mike McCabe

    … Cats and Dogs living together

  29. Sue4466

    Apparently, even the GOP doesn't believe the "and the American people agree" bullshit line they habitually spew out in interviews. If they did, it wouldn't be necessary to deceive voters about their policies or to commit voter fraud in an effort to suppress voter turnout.

  30. Guppy06

    If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, what does that say about recall elections?

    1. zhubajie

      Too bad we can't have parliaments and votes-of-confidence. Proportional repr. like in Israel would make everything even more batshit crazy! Imagine the rival religious fanatic parties cursing each other and threatening the secular wingnut parties with eternal damnation!

  31. orygoon

    If Cheeseheads think that they are "surrounded by sanity", they sure haven't been keeping an eye on the neighbors.

    1. GOPCrusher

      Michele Bachmann is leading the Republiklan polls here in Iowa. Tell me that doesn't indicate sanity.

    2. horsedreamer_1

      Tommy Thompson is looking longingly toward Iowa, where his fellow GOP trail-blazer 1980s Midwest Governor Terry Branstead got elected after a long time away.

  32. metamarcisf

    From Today's RedState:

    Dear Dane County Board of Supervisors,

    I have several questions regarding the letter twelve of you wrote to Justice David Prosser, in which you ask him to take a leave of absence from the Wisconsin Supreme Court until investigators determine whether or not he strangled Justice Ann Walsh Bradley.

    That Michele Bachmann! What a cunt!

    Yours,
    Yakov Smirnoff

  33. user-of-owls

    You know who the real victim is here. It's that poor random AID factotum just now setting up his powerpoint in a Kabul classroom and hearing nothing but titters and guffaws from his students as the first slide pops up:

    "Building Democracy at the Provincial Level: Lessons from America."

  34. Doktor Zoom

    OT, but an important cultural figure for a lot of us has died: Sherwood Schwartz, creator of Gilligan's Island and The Brady Bunch, passed away today at the age of 94.

    Best paragraph from the NYTimes obit:

    Mr. Schwartz remembered describing the idea of “Gilligan’s Island” to William S. Paley, then chairman of CBS, as a microcosm. Mr. Paley, he recalled, blanched and replied, “Oh, God, I thought it was a comedy show,” to which Mr. Schwartz quickly answered, “But it’s a funny microcosm!”

    I shudder to think of how deeply this guy's creations shaped our cultural zeitgeist (and yes, I'm including my own worldview). Wonder if there'll be a laugh track at the funeral?

    Maybe they'll just scatter his ashes in the Pacific after a three hour tour…a three hour tour.

      1. HistoriCat

        I'm sure it was all one big orgy. That's why they always managed to screw things up and not be rescued.

        1. genxr

          The professor was the only one not getting any. That's why he spent all his time building coconut radios and other means of getting rescued.

          1. Doktor Zoom

            According to Tom Carson's brilliant 2003 novel Gilligan's Wake, the Professor (Or "Professor X") was actually the secret force behind most major incidents of the Cold War, a la the Cigarette Smoking Man.

            There's also a nice aside where he tries to recruit "a mustachioed young veteran of the Battle of the Bulge" who works at GE's Public Relations department. Sadly, the young veteran, a fellow named "Fungott or Vangut, something like that," is very skeptical of the idea that the US of A should dominate the world, so the Professor dismisses him as unlikely to amount to much.

            God, wotta novel…need to get a copy and reread it….

  35. DahBoner

    "Robocalls…are reportedly going out to voters telling them to stay home or to vote for fake candidates."

    I'm not surprised the Robocalls are not advising them to go out and choke, with their hands around the neck of a Wisconsin Supreme Court Justice that they disagree with, because that activity is reserved for "Special" people who are above the law…

  36. Pragmatist2

    Glad to hear it. Orgies are not all that common in Wisconsin and they usually involve bratwursts.

  37. genxr

    I thought Robocall II was even better than the original. Especially when the two robocalls were fighting and the Koch brothers said, "Behave yourselves!" and "This isn't going to look good for the company." I'd buy that for a dollar!

    yes, I watched movies in the 80s.

    1. Monsieur_Grumpe

      I live close enough to the border that I'm being besieged with very nasty TeeVee commercials about the evil Wisconsin democrat who is running against the Republican recallee.

    2. L188188

      Yeah I live in right in the heart of darkness in the toothless part of the state near Green Bay. The county worker's unions have already been screwed, but they won't vote, they are too busy watching the Brewers and fishin' walleye and waitin' for deer huntin' and knockin' back Busch Lights.

    3. MilwaukeeKent

      I haz a sadz because I can vote for neither a real or a fake candidate. My state Senate Democrat is not being recalled.
      Word on the street is that the fake candidates "Won't get Schneider" Which is old Milwaukee Pol speak for 32 percent of the vote. (name comes from a score in the card game of Sheepshead)
      This might be worth a look in about an hour (9:15 CST) if you really want to know: http://www.jsonline.com/news/statepolitics/125430

  38. DangerHelvetica

    Greetings, friend. Do you wish to look as happy as me? Well, you've got the power inside you right now. So use it. And send one dollar to Happy Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield. Don't delay! Eternal happiness is just a dollar away.

  39. L188188

    The fear is that the crowds that raised hell back in February and March will not materialize. There is even the chance that due to our open primary, Republican tea baggers can cross over to vote in these bogus primaries today and elect the "fake" Democrats… BTW, these fake primaries are costing the state $millions more that should not have been.. .so much for these cretins' caring about fiscal propriety, or even election fraud for christ's sake. BUT we only need 3 out of the 6 Republican scumbags being recalled, and then the whore that is Scott Walker can be held at bay until next January when he will be eligible for his OWN recall.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      All six Republican stooges went up in smoke, as the saying goes. (I think Wisconsin son Mark Borchardt would appreciate that. The metaphor, at least; being from Menomonee Falls, he might well be a Teatard, or, at least, Paultard (for the weed).)

  40. mumbly_joe

    IIRC, robocalls telling people not to vote are a blatant violation of both state and federal election law. Unfortunately, it's the sort of blatant violation of election law that's never going to be investigated or prosecuted, unlike two black guys being near a polling place, one of whom has a stick.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      & that third, unrelated, black guy, with a bank-issued check en route to try to cash said check.

  41. MilwaukeeKent

    Expect the whole bag of GOP-patented dirty tricks in the general election in August. Vote-caging, misleading calls, voter harassment. The time is overdue to seriously push the GOP's face in the shit they're leaving for someone else to clean up. Grover Norquist IS small enough to strangle in a bath tub. Is the William Howard Taft one at the Smithsonian? The Taft Presidential museum? I'll bet we could lure him to it's location with an invite to a fake GOP fundraiser…

  42. ttommyunger

    How lame do you have to be to actually listen to a Robo-Call? No, wait! This is Wisconsin? Never mind.

  43. Negropolis

    So, all of the fake Dems were roundly and soundly defeated, tonight, so everyone can calm down. Now, the real Dems get some good press, tomorrow, that they otherwise couldn't have had if not for this stunt.

  44. MarieDevine

    The Wisconsin recall elections have a 'union label" on them. Behind the many uprisings in Africa and wars in other nations has a strong union influence that one former kgb operative wrote: "The WWP had the express goal of creating a favorable atmosphere for Soviet-style socialism within the American trade unions and the "colored" population of the United States. "
    http://www.divine-way.com/egypt_protests__kgb__so

    “.. Hezb'allah representatives demonstrating .. first day .. Cairo uprising were carrying flags displaying the hammer and sickle.”

    BEWARE WORLD: A "Workers' World" sounds good; but Enslavement of Masses to lifelong "employment" is slavery, not prosperity; we are only now seeing that.

  45. lulzmonger

    Guess the Democracy-Trollz™ have to settle for robocalls now, since all those people were busted for running the huge criminal vote-kiting conspiracy back in 2004-2005 by the Department Of … BWAAAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHHHAH!

    Oh, me!

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