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Everybody wants a cheesy anus burger!Drudge sirens and frantic arm flapping: a Washington Post reporter saw “War on Childhood Obesity” Gen. Michelle Obama over at the new Shake Shack diner in D.C. engaging in “talks” with one of those giant crushed cow-horse-goat anus cakes that weighs six pounds, has 30,000 calories and its own zip code or however that “your mama” joke from 1994 went, along with fries and a chocolate shake. Was she riding a personal mobility scooter, too? Jesus, Michelle, think of the children. It’s the Anusburger Appomattox moment of the War on Obesity.

Husband Barack Obama was meanwhile lecturing everyone in Congress to “eat their peas,” which suggests that the war that has already been lost at the Shake Shack is still ongoing in Congress.

War newspaper the Washington Post reports:

A Washington Post journalist on the scene confirmed the first lady, who’s made a cause out of child nutrition, ordered a ShackBurger, fries, chocolate shake and a Diet Coke while the street and sidewalk in front of the usually-packed Shake Shack were closed by security during her visit.

According to nutritional information on Shake Shack’s Web site, the meal amounted to 1,700 calories.

Obama, who launched the “Let’s Move” campaign to combat childhood obesity last year, has previously admitted to having an “obsession with french fries,” which she says are fine to indulge in occasionally. “It’s all about moderation,” Obama told reporters.

“Moderation” is an SAT word for “socialist.” War or nothing. [WaPo]

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