MIXED MESSAGES!  11:46 am July 12, 2011

Michelle Obama Halts War On Obesity And Anusburgers

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Everybody wants a cheesy anus burger!Drudge sirens and frantic arm flapping: a Washington Post reporter saw “War on Childhood Obesity” Gen. Michelle Obama over at the new Shake Shack diner in D.C. engaging in “talks” with one of those giant crushed cow-horse-goat anus cakes that weighs six pounds, has 30,000 calories and its own zip code or however that “your mama” joke from 1994 went, along with fries and a chocolate shake. Was she riding a personal mobility scooter, too? Jesus, Michelle, think of the children. It’s the Anusburger Appomattox moment of the War on Obesity.

Husband Barack Obama was meanwhile lecturing everyone in Congress to “eat their peas,” which suggests that the war that has already been lost at the Shake Shack is still ongoing in Congress.

War newspaper the Washington Post reports:

A Washington Post journalist on the scene confirmed the first lady, who’s made a cause out of child nutrition, ordered a ShackBurger, fries, chocolate shake and a Diet Coke while the street and sidewalk in front of the usually-packed Shake Shack were closed by security during her visit.

According to nutritional information on Shake Shack’s Web site, the meal amounted to 1,700 calories.

Obama, who launched the “Let’s Move” campaign to combat childhood obesity last year, has previously admitted to having an “obsession with french fries,” which she says are fine to indulge in occasionally. “It’s all about moderation,” Obama told reporters.

“Moderation” is an SAT word for “socialist.” War or nothing. [WaPo]

 
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{ 231 comments }

ifthethunderdontgetya July 12, 2011 at 11:48 am

War newspaper the Washington Post reports:

Kirsten, that is War Criminal newspaper the Washington Post.
~

V572 der Plaatz July 12, 2011 at 12:05 pm

I thought it was Kaplan Test Prep Company newsletter The Washington Post.

Negropolis July 12, 2011 at 10:48 pm

Well, that's already implied with the use of "War".

nounverb911 July 12, 2011 at 11:49 am

Aren't obese children a good source of protein for the Soylent Green manufacturers?

MildMidwesterner July 12, 2011 at 12:02 pm

I definitely read in a high school English class that Irish peasant babies are succulent and delicious.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 12, 2011 at 12:18 pm

A Modest Proposal for our overfed overlords.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 12, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Downfistula isn't very Swift, is he?

bureaucrap July 12, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Per the movie, the name of the company WAS "Soylent". They seemed to prefer depressed oldsters, but I'm sure 500 lb 5-year-olds could do in a pinch.

Doktor Zoom July 12, 2011 at 1:40 pm

Amalgamated Witch and Gingerbread Industries has been one of the few stocks that's consistently risen in the last few years

Barb July 12, 2011 at 11:49 am

Try a cheesy anus? If you don't take care of that quickly it can spread to cheese whiz.

Radiotherapy® July 12, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Or santorum fever.

ShaveTheWhales July 12, 2011 at 1:27 pm

I love a cheesy anus in the morning. Smells like ….. santorum.

Callyson July 12, 2011 at 11:50 am

If Michelle can say "fuck it" and have a burger occasionally (no harm done if it's balanced out with healthy living most of the time), can Barack say "fuck it" and give up on the idea of cooperating with Republicans (no harm done since they won't cooperate in turn)?

Terry July 12, 2011 at 1:08 pm

Old Turtle Head was just on CNN saying that the GOP can never negotiate as long as Obama is in office. Yes, it's time for Obama to say heck with negotiation and to move forward.

horsedreamer_1 July 12, 2011 at 2:45 pm

14th Amendment Solutions.

ifthethunderdontgetya July 12, 2011 at 11:51 am

If Michelle is General Lee at Appomattox, does that make Ronald McDonald our General Grant?
~

BlueMonkeh July 12, 2011 at 11:58 am

What about Mayor McCheese?

ifthethunderdontgetya July 12, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Mayor McCheese would be Maj. Gen. Philip Sheridan.
~

MLHencken July 12, 2011 at 12:04 pm

Hm. That might explain a few things.

BaldarTFlagass July 12, 2011 at 11:51 am

Like The Battle of The Bulge, this is just a temporary setback.

SayItWithWookies July 12, 2011 at 11:52 am

Too bad she's not a Republican — because like they did with David Vitter, Larry Craig, Newt Gingrich, Duke Cunningham, Henry Hyde, etc. etc. they'd simply praise her for having standards so high that she can't live up to them.

MildMidwesterner July 12, 2011 at 12:06 pm

Meanwhile, Limbaugh would still chide Michelle for stealing his lunch.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 12, 2011 at 12:13 pm

It was her patriotism and love for America that made her do it.

ProudLibunatic July 12, 2011 at 11:52 am

Murdoch bought the Washington Post?!

SorosBot July 12, 2011 at 12:12 pm

The Post has been a right-wing propaganda machine for quite some time, but that doesn't stop conservatives from calling it "even the liberal Washington Post".

SayItWithWookies July 12, 2011 at 1:05 pm

No, but speaking of Rupert Murdoch, I am sooo looking forward to enjoying his prosecution under the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act and the ultimate dissolution of his empire. Maybe it can be confiscated by the government and fully monetized into subsidies for wind turbines and compact fluorescent bulbs.

Mahousu July 12, 2011 at 1:36 pm

Murdoch didn't have to buy the Post; they just handed themselves over to him.

Serolf_Divad July 12, 2011 at 11:52 am

This is exactly like Newt Gingrich nailing all his secretaries, interns and aides while leading the Clinton-Lewinsky B.J. impeachment hearing. You know… if eating a burger and fries were the same as cheating on your spouse.

BaldarTFlagass July 12, 2011 at 11:55 am

Eatin' ain't cheatin', Lord it ain't no disgrace.

mog253 July 12, 2011 at 2:54 pm

You beat me to it.

Gratuitous World July 12, 2011 at 11:53 am

do as i say, not as i chew.

what a scoop, WAPO!!!

crybabyboehner July 12, 2011 at 3:26 pm

Katharine Graham would be so proud, except she's dead.

gullywompr July 12, 2011 at 11:54 am

This proves she is morally weak.

SorosBot July 12, 2011 at 11:54 am

Good job exposing Michelle Obama's hypocrisy, Washington Post, because she's always advocated eating nothing but healthy foods and never ever ever eating something unhealthy instead of advocating eating healthy most of the time which allows for occasional unhealthy treats, if she did that then your treating her eating a burger as somehow wrong would mean you Washington Post guys are a bunch of idiots just out to smear the First Lady in a completely inaccurate way.

EatsBabyDingos July 12, 2011 at 11:54 am

In related news, Newt and Whaley were seen at the gym eating carrots and celery.

No, that's just fantasy. And with that I am off to the beach to show off my anus-burger belly.

Limeylizzie July 12, 2011 at 12:34 pm

Nice sentence break, there, Dingos.

EatsBabyDingos July 12, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Thanks! It was serendipity, like RonPaul resigning, uhhh retiring. Blissful, but confusing.

CrankyLttlCamperette July 12, 2011 at 11:56 am

And I'll bet she'll have all 1,700 of those calories burned off at the WH gym before the end of the week…

A burger once in a while won't kill you. A burger every meal, will.

Lascauxcaveman July 12, 2011 at 12:09 pm

And besides, she washed it all down with a small diet soda. She'll be OK.

V572 der Plaatz July 12, 2011 at 12:12 pm

You mean you'll die if you eat a burger every day? How about if you don't? Will you still die?

See, it's all just a negotiation between you and your coronary arteries.

GOPCrusher July 12, 2011 at 12:37 pm

I read an article where scientists state that the first person to live to 150 years old has already been born.
Would you really want to live to be 150 years old?

V572 der Plaatz July 12, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Well I’d certainly have to rethink my retirement planning.

Crank_Tango July 12, 2011 at 1:12 pm

spoiler alert: it's rob lowe.

flamingpdog July 12, 2011 at 2:39 pm

And he'll still be holing up in hotel rooms with and videotaping girls, one of them under 116 years old.

Lascauxcaveman July 12, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Lol, and Dick Clark will be the first to hit 125. Heck, that's probably next fall, isn't it?

finallyhappy July 12, 2011 at 6:36 pm

not me.

ChessieNefercat July 12, 2011 at 12:24 pm

"And I'll bet she'll have all 1,700 of those calories burned off at the WH gym before the end of the week…
A burger once in a while won't kill you. A burger every meal, will."

It's liberal elitist fact nancies like you that are destroying this country, you with your "reason", and your "facts", and your commie non-hysteria!

BlueMonkeh July 12, 2011 at 11:57 am

Chris Christie is jealous.

Andrew Drinker July 12, 2011 at 12:21 pm

No he's not. He had three of those burgers for a snack between meals.

user-of-owls July 12, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Chris Christie are jealous. Always use the plural when referencing them.

Negropolis July 12, 2011 at 10:52 pm

Win! The meme are born!

Larry McAwful July 13, 2011 at 12:37 am

That's not exactly jealousy. It's more like exasperation. I believe his exact words were, "I eat that every single goddamned day for lunch–twice–and she gets all the publicity? Goddamned liberal media!"

Come here a minute July 12, 2011 at 11:59 am

When a ShackBurger sits around the house, it sits around the house.

metamarcisf July 12, 2011 at 12:13 pm

But I wanna tell ya…

ManchuCandidate July 12, 2011 at 11:59 am

What Michelle Obammer calls an indulgence much of US America calls it "Tuesday Mid Morning Snack."

V572 der Plaatz July 12, 2011 at 12:51 pm

"I stopped at the McDonald's drive-through for a #4 (medium fries, 1/4-pounder, large "diet") on my way to lunch."

SarcasticNymph July 14, 2011 at 8:26 am

Second breakfast!

ShaveTheWhales July 12, 2011 at 1:30 pm

elevensies.

baconzgood July 12, 2011 at 11:59 am

Yes becuase if you want healthy children you must never eat anything but bean curd and rice cakes.

mog253 July 12, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Wow, glad I had my kid back in the 70's, when it was yogurt and bean sprouts.

LabRodent July 12, 2011 at 12:00 pm

Being married to a Black women I know its has to be hard for Michelle not to say "KISS MY BLACK ASS BITCHES IM THE FIRST LADY"

riverside68 July 12, 2011 at 12:14 pm

It's the thought that counts

BaldarTFlagass July 12, 2011 at 12:00 pm

Hail Ronald, Full of Mayo
Blessed are the Holiest McFries
Blessed are the Fruit of the Hot Apple Pies
Mayor McCheese, Keeper of the Secret Sauce
Keep Warm our Dinners
Now and until the Hour of the Thick Frosty Shakes
Mm-mm.

SarcasticNymph July 14, 2011 at 8:27 am

(golf clap)

Chillwaver July 12, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Somebody @ WaPo is enjoying a scrumptious Kochburger for lunch…

flamingpdog July 12, 2011 at 1:40 pm

Hopefully washing it down with a small Diet Koch.

FlownOver July 12, 2011 at 1:45 pm

Kochburger, anusburger… potato, potato.

Angry_Marmot July 12, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Those willing to work can be hired to chase fat children through the streets. The meat would be better marbled, leading to better heart health for our masters and full employment for the poor.

MLHencken July 12, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Shake Shack is fucking great, and goddamn it, girlfriend can have a burger if she wants to. That posterior cannot run on carrots alone.

The booty must be maintained, no matter what the cost.

finallyhappy July 12, 2011 at 6:37 pm

I don't eat meat but I did want to try a shake and fries- but the line is always so long.

MildMidwesterner July 12, 2011 at 12:04 pm

Michelle Obama's shadow probably weighs more than I do.

Radiotherapy® July 12, 2011 at 12:05 pm

It was like that time Nancy Reagan smoked crack in the Lincoln Bedroom.

Larry McAwful July 13, 2011 at 12:39 am

She just said no… but her lungs said yes…

Mumbletypeg July 12, 2011 at 12:06 pm

About the saddest thing I've read all day, after browsing Shake Shack's online Custard Calendar for July — featuring exotic flavors like Salted Caramel and Sweet Corn — is tucked in a fine print caveat at the very bottom: "The Citi Field Shake Shack serves Vanilla custard only."

Imma have to get my locations straight before I trek up there for my dessert fix.

Limeylizzie July 12, 2011 at 12:37 pm

Oh sweet Mumbletypeg, will you get me a Salted Caramel, that sounds so fantastic. I love custard, actually I love any and all dairy products including Buttermilk and Kefir.

finallyhappy July 12, 2011 at 6:40 pm

So this very Shake Shake in DC was so crowded, I had salted caramel frozen yogurt at Pinkberry which is across the street. DO NOT WASTE YOUR MONEY at Pinkberry. Salted Caramel is very popular in France now but Bertillion did not have it the day I was there.

Limeylizzie July 12, 2011 at 6:43 pm

I loathe Pinkberry, if I am going to have a tasty treat I am going all the way, not some freaky faux-cream crap.

Limeylizzie July 12, 2011 at 8:06 pm

I love their pear nougat.

mumbly_joe July 13, 2011 at 9:37 am

There's actually a wonderful Shake Shack on 86th on the East side, it seldom has the atrocious lines that Madison Square park has, and this is an absolute nightmare for me, because it's literally directly across the street from my gym.

Limeylizzie July 13, 2011 at 9:46 am

There's one on the UWS by the Museum of Natural History, but I try to avoid it.

Mumbletypeg July 13, 2011 at 9:51 am

Lizzie how funny it is to imagine you daydreaming about the myriad of custard flavahs…

This is what came to mind when I saw the Vanilla-only alert on shakeshack.com. It's an aged thrift-store t-shirt too threadbare for me to wear anymore.

Sue4466 July 12, 2011 at 12:07 pm

So, is the war on obesity the only failed war America will call a halt to?

SayItWithWookies July 12, 2011 at 12:17 pm

I think we quietly ended the war on ignorance a little while ago.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 12, 2011 at 12:29 pm

It was a good fight … but there were just too many of the fuckers.

SorosBot July 12, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Also, in 1981 the war on poverty was changed to the war on the poor.

GOPCrusher July 12, 2011 at 12:38 pm

And yet, The War On Drugs grinds on.

CapeClod July 12, 2011 at 12:08 pm

Think Nancy Reagan wasn't totally high on goofballs when she was preaching Just Say No? Didn't think so.

Poindexter718 July 12, 2011 at 12:08 pm

The fats don't go to ShakeShack because the service is too slow and there is no dollar menu.

Andrew Drinker July 12, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Hell, they probably have arugula instead of proper iceberg lettuce! And "aioli" or some other socialist condiment instead of proper mayo!

finallyhappy July 12, 2011 at 6:42 pm

What is this mayo on burger thing? I don't eat meat anymore but when i moved down south here to DC long ago and ordered a burger, the waiter said "Ketchup ,mustard, mayo?" MAYO is for tuna and in Beligum, frites

inapewetrust July 12, 2011 at 12:09 pm

what a hypocrite. it's like when al gore says he's cold. make up your mind, people!

MissusBarry July 12, 2011 at 12:09 pm

First, big fucking deal. Moderation, like other things idiots don't believe in, is real and realistic. Power to you for enjoying a delicious treat, FLOTUS. Fuck the haters and fuck WaPo for this bit of horseshit.

Second, at least a ShackBurger is made from actual beef from non-anus parts of non-sick-hormone-fed-sad-cows, making it constitute actual food. Not necessarily the healthiest option, but not not made from anus or feces.

finallyhappy July 12, 2011 at 6:44 pm

I think they use real milk and such in the shakes instead of the "mix" one finds in Wendy's and MC Donalds.

MissusBarry July 13, 2011 at 10:04 am

Indeed. And, do we have reports on the lines for non-secret-service-protected folks? Shockingly, I'm a bit of a misanthrope and have been trying to avoid Shake Shack until the newness-excitement dies down. Doh, probably just got a new boost in business. Maybe this fall.

widestanceroman July 12, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Moderation is slavery, and creates 0 jobs with all its culinary uncertainty, except for socialist Obamacare doctors who must treat children who went for walks and got hit by cars as dictated by the FLOTUS.

BaldarTFlagass July 12, 2011 at 12:15 pm

In other burger-related news, Fuddrucker's officially announced that they are changing the name of their restaurants nationwide to Buttfuckers.

proudgrampa July 12, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Man, I wish I could upfist you more than once for that one!!!

riverside68 July 12, 2011 at 4:15 pm

All the parking is stern-to. (That's back-in for your landlubbers.)

riverside68 July 12, 2011 at 12:15 pm

That is exactly the reason I quit on Gin and Tonics.

Michelle, this martini is for you!

widestanceroman July 12, 2011 at 12:16 pm

You know who else likes "french" fries?

(please enjoy this shameless reply-generating comment)

Lascauxcaveman July 12, 2011 at 12:31 pm

"Pee-Wee" Herman?

Fare la Volpe July 12, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Dominique Strauss-Kahn?

GOPCrusher July 12, 2011 at 12:40 pm

Roman Polanski?

BaldarTFlagass July 12, 2011 at 12:41 pm

Charles de Gaulle?

donner_froh July 12, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Pepe LePew?

BaldarTFlagass July 12, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Jean-Paul Sartre?

widestanceroman July 12, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Hell is other people's fries.

user-of-owls July 12, 2011 at 1:40 pm

A lost calorie is a calorie one thinks one has lost.

MozakiBlocks July 12, 2011 at 1:08 pm

Me! Though my booty is nowhere near as magnifcent as the FLOTUS'.

But hope springs eternal

RedNM July 12, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Carrot Top?

ShaveTheWhales July 12, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Belgians?

finallyhappy July 12, 2011 at 6:45 pm

"I am Belgian, not French"

user-of-owls July 12, 2011 at 1:38 pm

Mssr. Mingue le Impitoyable?

flamingpdog July 12, 2011 at 1:46 pm

I'm thinking not Joan of Arc.

finallyhappy July 12, 2011 at 6:45 pm

very, very good!

Doktor Zoom July 12, 2011 at 2:15 pm

The Dutch. Only they put mayonnaise on 'em. I've seen 'em do it, man. They fuckin' drown 'em in that shit.

widestanceroman July 12, 2011 at 2:24 pm

Having once watched a very large woman apply quantities of butter to a hub cap of fries as a prelude to the gravy, the mayo on fries thing no longer disturbs me so much.

horsedreamer_1 July 12, 2011 at 2:48 pm

Slingblade?

orygoon July 12, 2011 at 4:02 pm

My South African ex, who, as a child, consumed french-fry sandwiches?

gurukalehuru July 13, 2011 at 6:46 am

An office girl, whose name is Betty (Her favorite group is Helen Reddy)

axmxz July 12, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Drudge is about three years over his sell-by date as a meme. FLOTUS CAN HAZ CHEESEBURGER!

hagajim July 12, 2011 at 12:22 pm

Anusburgers are OK – once in awhile, I mean her husband has to deal with anuses every damn day (that means you Cantor and McConnell)

proudgrampa July 12, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Well done, sir!

Andrew Drinker July 12, 2011 at 12:25 pm

I love the comments on the WaPo article with the conservatives claiming the First Lady is actually fat and not pretty. Keepin' it classy!

V572 der Plaatz July 12, 2011 at 12:54 pm

It's really hard to read the comments on any Web site after you spend time here. What a desert of wit it is out there.

BaldarTFlagass July 12, 2011 at 12:59 pm

And I keep running my cursor over the pix at other sites expecting the clever alt-texts. Dammit!

riverside68 July 12, 2011 at 1:43 pm

ya I agree, I don't have anything to add, but I like seeing my name on the web so I thought I would tag along on your comment which was so much better than anything I could say, and by replying to it I get to show I am hip enough to understand what the cool kids are saying, BTW did you see what was in the paper this morning? Wasn't that amazing?

also

Doktor Zoom July 12, 2011 at 2:11 pm

She is the most horribly ugly cow ever to disgrace the White house. And have you noticed how URBAN she is?

Andrew Drinker July 12, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Son (yes, I'm calling you son even with "grampa" in your name), if your martini is only 190 calories, you're doin' it wrong! You need one of those 10-oz monster glasses, not some Dixie cup!

Lascauxcaveman July 12, 2011 at 12:29 pm

No, no. I'm with the smaller size martinis myself. (Easier to keep them cold all the way down to the olive.)

Serve 'em up small. Just keep 'em coming.

V572 der Plaatz July 12, 2011 at 12:53 pm

I've been allowing myself one ice cube these days. Keeps it colder without too much dilution. Just like the debt ceiling, it's a compromise.

riverside68 July 12, 2011 at 1:34 pm

keep a fresh glass and the alcohol in the freezer.

I haven't tried freezing the olive, I fear it might still be frozen by the time I want to eat it, and that would not do at all.

V572 der Plaatz July 12, 2011 at 1:41 pm

Yes, that does indeed help. The gin should pour out like glycerine. It’s horrifying when bartenders shake your Martini into a frappé of slush and ice crystals.

proudgrampa July 12, 2011 at 1:42 pm

You, sir, are a man after my own heart.
Alcohol and glass in freezer, check.
By all means, keep the olives somewhere in the fridge.

Two questions:

1. What is your position on Vermouth?
2. Besides the olive, are your martinis "dirty?"

proudgrampa July 12, 2011 at 1:17 pm

Why, you young whippersnapper (and I say that with love)! Even a 10-oz monster glass (or a "bucket" as they call it in some circles) would only be about 633 calories.

Martini Calories:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060

Andrew Drinker July 12, 2011 at 1:21 pm

That's why you drink three of them! ;-)

Biel_ze_Bubba July 12, 2011 at 12:27 pm

Uh-Oh…Downy McFistula is here defending his anus (burger).
Upfists all around.

Andrew Drinker July 12, 2011 at 12:28 pm

That means Downfisty hates hamburgers, which means he hates America!

kissawookiee July 12, 2011 at 2:02 pm

Please help a Wonketteer out here. I have been around for a while. I have an average p-ness. How can you tell that you have been hit by the downfister? Is it simply because awesome comments don't go to +1000 immediately? In which case the bastard must be tracking my every move; that's the only logical explanation.

Andrew Drinker July 12, 2011 at 2:20 pm

I'm with ya. I think he uses a script or something because I so often get the downfist within three seconds (literally) of posting a comment. Anyway, you can get triple-digit plus scores on comments and still not get an increase in the p-ness. I would love to see their algorithm because it makes no sense to me whatsoever. It does seem, however, that the higher your p-score, the harder it is to get an increase.

HistoriCat July 12, 2011 at 3:18 pm

You can tell the downfister has been around when you see a string of comments at 0 or -1 or -2. It bothers some people but I know the rest of the Wonketeriat will respond appropriately to good comments. The whole thing is just kind of sad.

finallyhappy July 12, 2011 at 6:47 pm

I stilll do not understand p-score. I hoped there was some prize when you hit 100 but I hear not.

glamourdammerung July 12, 2011 at 5:09 pm

Well, what else is it going to do?

fuflans July 12, 2011 at 12:27 pm

well that's all the justification i needed to cure my hangover with a 1700 calorie lunch.

seppdecker July 12, 2011 at 12:32 pm

I thought Jay Leno was America's cheesy anus.

proudgrampa July 12, 2011 at 1:23 pm

Pretty much.

fuflans July 12, 2011 at 12:33 pm

also, this is about as critical as the war on compact fluorescent bulbs while the nation teeters on the verge of financial disaster.

why can't the summer silly season entail fun stuff instead of outrage and rending of garments?

LiveToServeYa July 12, 2011 at 12:41 pm

I suppose the rending of garments could be fun, though, depending on whose garments are rent.

littlebigdaddy July 12, 2011 at 12:33 pm

Good thing they didn't catch her downing a foot-long. God knows what WaPo would've done with that!

BaldarTFlagass July 12, 2011 at 12:40 pm

She could have joined Kortney and her mutant zucchini over on the right hand side of this webpage.

MozakiBlocks July 12, 2011 at 1:18 pm

Doesn't she do that two or three nights a week anyway?

No, I couldn't help myself on that one.

riverside68 July 12, 2011 at 1:45 pm

You know you are going to burn in hell, right?

MozakiBlocks July 12, 2011 at 3:18 pm

I've always said that as long as I'm going to hell, I hope that there's a good in-flight movie.

DashboardBuddha July 12, 2011 at 12:34 pm

OT question – 100% snark free. The Jewish and Muslims are prohibited from eating pork. Beef is ok. But, hot dogs, BK and the like uses parts of the animal that one would not ordinarily eat…like the anus – the thing shit passes through. So, how is anus burger on the menu, but pork isn't?

glamourdammerung July 12, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Most burger places are not in compliance with Jewish religious rules about food. And a shake and burger a meal would actually violate one of the Ten Commandments.

DashboardBuddha July 12, 2011 at 1:38 pm

Ahhh…I didn't think about the compliance thing. That makes sense. Thanks

finallyhappy July 12, 2011 at 6:48 pm

Really- no. Yes, very few kosher restaurants anywhere- besides Israel(and parts of NY) but the prohibitions are in Leviticus.

V572 der Plaatz July 12, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Whatever you do, don't look up pastrami in Wikipedia. It's not even Italian, but that's not the bad part.

DashboardBuddha July 12, 2011 at 1:40 pm

I looked it up but didn't see anything untoward. Beside, I love me some pastrami.

V572 der Plaatz July 12, 2011 at 1:43 pm

How’s this from the Wikipedia?“In the United States, although beef navels are the traditional cut of meat for making pastrami, it is now common to see pastrami made from beefbrisket, beef round andturkey.”

Doktor Zoom July 12, 2011 at 1:49 pm

So pastrami just makes good use of the Navel Reserves?

DashboardBuddha July 12, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Meh…I eat sausage and hots dogs so my food horror cherry was broken a long time ago. The sticking point for me is that no one expects tubular food stuffs to not have all kind of odd stuff in it. With the right spices almost anything can be delicious (except Japanese Poo Steaks though). McD's and BK, et al are all "enjoy our 100% beef burgers"…like those things even remotely resemble ground beef you'd get at the market.

donner_froh July 12, 2011 at 12:34 pm

a ShackBurger, fries, chocolate shake and a Diet Coke


No tubs of slaw?
No Old Filipino Creamy in shorts and quarts?

metamarcisf July 12, 2011 at 12:37 pm

No Bear Whiz Beer (it's in the water)?

V572 der Plaatz July 12, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Chocolate-covered groat clusters or GTFO.

DerrickWildcat July 12, 2011 at 12:37 pm

Sir Bob Geldof was seen having a Ham Sandwich today which clearly indicates that he couldn't give a shit about starving Africans.

V572 der Plaatz July 12, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Didja see that woman over @TPM who confronted Paul Ryan for having a couple of bottles of $360 Pinot Noir with his dinner with "economists"? Ridiculous, but pretty funny.

fuflans July 12, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Drudge sirens and frantic arm flapping

i betcha there's some bingo wings flapping there.

Limeylizzie July 12, 2011 at 12:39 pm

For God's Sake, how can anyone think Michelle is fat and ugly? They haven't seen me first thing in the morning, wearing MrLimeylizzie's underwear and no bra.

NorthStarSpanx July 12, 2011 at 12:47 pm

I'll die happy once I have Michelle's sexy toned arms. Think her arms will fit in with me in my casket?

Limeylizzie July 12, 2011 at 12:50 pm

The arms would, the bum …not at all.

user-of-owls July 12, 2011 at 12:56 pm

*fingers in ears*

"la la la la la"

"I can't hear you!"

Limeylizzie July 12, 2011 at 1:08 pm

Morning Owls!

user-of-owls July 12, 2011 at 1:13 pm

Top of the, um, ah, morning to ya. Yes, that's it, top of the morning.

proudgrampa July 12, 2011 at 1:26 pm

Gosh, Lizzie. I love you!

Limeylizzie July 12, 2011 at 1:34 pm

Truly, I look crazy in the morning, like a large baby.

flamingpdog July 12, 2011 at 1:55 pm

I'm truly sorry, but I was really enjoying this string until you said that "like a large baby" and then I pictured David Vitter in a diaper.

It's not quite lunch time – can I start drinking anyway?

gurukalehuru July 13, 2011 at 6:48 am

TMI, LL, like, way TMI

NorthStarSpanx July 12, 2011 at 12:46 pm

It's all about the Free Market's ability to make you think you can 'moderate' yourself from drinking 10 gallons of corn syrup and artificial color a day.

I think Michelle's moderate hypocrisy is more preferable to farm subsidies paid to wealthy tax-fighting home-owner elites hat never set foot on their 'farm.' And name any of 'em, all of 'em crimes against good taste, common sense humanity any of the GOP critics commit daily.

El Pinche July 12, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Does a cow-horse-goat anus cake taste like Turducken?

trondant July 12, 2011 at 6:32 pm

You're half right.

simplyblue7 July 12, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Michelle Antoinette is eating a fancy meal consisting of burgers, fries, shakes and a diet coke. Excuse me madam FLOTUS but the rest of us are eating…well, just about the same…WHERE'S THE APPLE PIE!?!?!?!

weejee July 12, 2011 at 1:36 pm

And where or where is the $350 a bottle pinot noir?

simplyblue7 July 12, 2011 at 1:43 pm

don't be absurd…the obvious pairing for burger is a Shiraz.

glamourdammerung July 12, 2011 at 1:47 pm

It was a reference to the 2 bottles of $350 wine that Representative Paul Ryan had as a brib–er dinner with some folks that just happened to be lobbyists. Someone pointed it out and he had a cry because he had to pay for some of it.

Doktor Zoom July 12, 2011 at 1:55 pm

it's not hypocrisy, because "Paul Ryan wasn’t out there telling everyone they shouldn’t be drinking wine was he?" –actual comment from Free Republic participant "cubreporter (From TEA to Shining TEA – Go Rush Limbaugh..a giant of all that is good.)"

Living it up while proposing to kill Medicare is not hypocrisy. Got it.

mavenmaven July 12, 2011 at 12:46 pm

I'm sure this would lead to one of those right wing "fat michelle" cartoons, which those of us old enough to remember Wonkette's "cartoon fridays" would recall were a prominent tea bagger "humor" meme.

mumbly_joe July 12, 2011 at 12:53 pm

In her defense, Shake Shack has some amazing cheesy anuses. Honestly, even their horrifically-unhealthy-but-technically-veggie burgers are great. Even better is when you get both, on top of one another, which is apparently a thing.

Honestly, all of the outrage, OUTRAGE every time Michelle Obama eats out is pretty fucking asinine. My most successful diet to date was one that explicitly took into account the fact that no matter what I do, I will eat something unhealthy, some of the time, and just helped me regulate when and how often that happened. Part of having a healthy approach to food is not freaking the fuck out every time you indulge yourself, and recognizing that it's possible to eat healthy most of the time and that a single transgression doesn't mean you should just give up.

user-of-owls July 12, 2011 at 1:05 pm

"One anusburger is too many and a hundred is never enough."

User O.
Anusburgers Anonymous

user-of-owls July 12, 2011 at 12:54 pm

According to Drudge, this definitively proves that global warming is a hoax.

Doktor Zoom July 12, 2011 at 7:59 pm

So is the so-called obesity epidemic. Seriously. I saw someone say that.

Limeylizzie July 12, 2011 at 1:06 pm

OT, but it looks as if the hideous Piers Morgan's name has popped up in the NOTW hacking scandal.

Chet Kincaid July 12, 2011 at 1:31 pm

Just read his bio — what a hypocrite he is! His journalism career is a bullet point list of ethics violations, yet he goes on CNN every night claiming to be "troubled" by American perp-walks and conviction-by-media in the DSK case.

Limeylizzie July 12, 2011 at 1:34 pm

Yep, he is a real piece of work.

Negropolis July 12, 2011 at 11:02 pm

It's why he's over here in America. They chased his slimey ass out of England, and now he's trying to reinvent himself. You know, I complain about our press, but the British (tabloid) press is incestuous as all kinds of hell with it being so heavily based in one city (London) and all.

An_Outhouse July 12, 2011 at 1:06 pm

When I think of the poor treatment of factory farmed beef cattle, I has a sad. It must be Michelle's turn to present the eternal question 'How has Obama let you down today'?

user-of-owls July 12, 2011 at 1:10 pm

A milkshake and Diet Coke??

M.F.-er, I want more iced tea in this post.

user-of-owls July 12, 2011 at 1:18 pm

And to think critics said it was a bad idea for WAPO to eliminate the London, Beijing and Cairo beats in order to save the Shake Shack bureau!

KeepFnThatChicken July 12, 2011 at 1:18 pm

…and what does Michelle look like? Is she still slender, and still pleasantly "hip-py"? Are her sweet, sweet arms still toned?

They are?!

Fuck right off, WaPo.

Doktor Zoom July 12, 2011 at 1:28 pm

I'm sick of her socialist agenda of cramming "cram less down your throat" down our throats.

El Pinche July 12, 2011 at 1:29 pm

I'm sure Barry will help her burn off those calories tonight. Oh Oh Oh Oh.

Doktor Zoom July 12, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Oh, hey, if you're really into sudden weight loss (via uncontrollable vomiting), here's a Free Republic thread on this vital public issue. Did you know that suggesting that maybe we should think about eating more healthily is intrinsic to the Left's agenda of "furthering collectivist/communist control of the world"?

I suppose Chris Christie is just big-boned.

EDIT: Also, this amusing little bit of satire:

omg Shake Shack?!!!
Mmmmm baby if that isn't an inspiration to every fat, loudmouth black mama I see waddling around the city, bellowing into her cellphone, all bling-blinged up.

Come on, girlfriend! We goin' out for burger and fries! Supersize me, baby!

posted on Tue Jul 12 2011 by the invisib1e hand ("America will cease to be great when America ceases to be good." — Welcome to deToqueville.)

user-of-owls July 12, 2011 at 1:44 pm

Like I said earlier, Chris Christie are big boned…the plural is always called for with them.

glamourdammerung July 12, 2011 at 1:51 pm

I dig how they can post crap like that then cry when people point out their blatant racist remarks.

Doktor Zoom July 12, 2011 at 2:02 pm

People who point out racism are racists, people who point out that tax laws are being redesigned to redistribute income upward to the rich are engaging in class warfare, and people who think that the Constitution applies to everyone are traitors.

sati_demise July 12, 2011 at 8:07 pm

yep, that sums up the current state of affairs in this US America

finallyhappy July 12, 2011 at 6:53 pm

Won't go to Freeper- I''ll take your word for the stupid racist remarks. Pretty sure, that is all they allow anyway.

imissopus July 12, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Perhaps we've been calling the wrong Obama "morally weak," amirite?

If I had Republicans coming over to my house every day to tie my spouse up in fruitless meetings, I think I'd indulge in high-calorie comfort food as well.

flamingpdog July 12, 2011 at 2:02 pm

Did she have to enter through the back door again?

AuntyLola July 12, 2011 at 2:18 pm

OMG It's not as if she were eating deep fried obese American babies!

horsedreamer_1 July 12, 2011 at 2:52 pm

I didn't know that the WaPo had changed course & been taken over by militant straight-edgers.

I guess Ian Mac Kaye cancelling his subscription should have been an hint.

sportshort July 12, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Everything is black and white. I don't know what's so hard to understand about that. The corporate overlords have been drilling it into us for over a hundred years now.

Bots Meat Commission July 12, 2011 at 4:09 pm

Finally Michelle comes around to the King Curtis Lifestyle.

Joey_brill July 12, 2011 at 4:55 pm

I'm sure it was Beyonce. Wapo gets confused.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWZm9SfGgSU&f

Sorry for that in advance.

DahBoner July 12, 2011 at 4:59 pm

"A Washington Post journalist on the scene confirmed the first lady, who’s made a cause out of child nutrition, ordered a ShackBurger, fries, chocolate shake and a Diet Coke while the street and sidewalk in front of the usually-packed Shake Shack were closed by security during her visit."

The morbidly obese Teatard looks at this and says:

SEE? I WAS RIGHT! I EAT THIS STUFF EVERYDAY AND IT MUST BE HEALTH FOOD. AIN'T NOTHING WRONG WITH…

//…thunk…sirens…

finallyhappy July 12, 2011 at 6:51 pm

Also the First Lady is not a child.

MinAgain July 12, 2011 at 6:23 pm

Moderation is for people who can't handle excess.

sati_demise July 12, 2011 at 8:04 pm

I am most disgusted by the DIET soda than anything. that stuff is poison. But, the CAFO meat is poison too,

ack, come on Michelle, blech

ttommyunger July 12, 2011 at 11:24 pm

Two wars unwon, economy in shambles, middle east in flames and what does the Wapo use column inches for? Give me a fucking break!

El Pinche July 13, 2011 at 1:13 am

Whole zucchines or STFU

vavavivivivi July 13, 2011 at 10:51 am

http://www.benzlogo.com/

I tide fashion Good-looking, not expensive Free transport

V572 der Plaatz July 12, 2011 at 1:46 pm

You weren't asking me, but I'll proffer an opinion anyway, this being the Internet after all: 6:1, and no additional brine beyond that contained in the olive(s).

riverside68 July 12, 2011 at 2:01 pm

I play the field. Sometimes very little vermouth, sometimes with olive juice, sometimes more vermouth, sometimes one olive, sometimes three, it depends on how the sprits move me.

In my book to be a martini it has to have gin, vermouth, and olive.

(I inherited Aunt Norma's cocktail mixer from her depression era cape cod bohemian days. Back then the martini was two parts gin to one part vermouth; had to cover up the bathtub taste in the gin. but now days a Rangpur or Bombay Sapphire doesn't much at all.)

Doktor Zoom July 12, 2011 at 2:08 pm

Have you tried the sausage-inna-bun? Fast, hot, and at such a low price that I'm cuttin' me own throat.

proudgrampa July 12, 2011 at 2:13 pm

God, i would have loved your Aunt Norma. But you are correct: these days, there is no need for 2:1. And I have advocated Bombay Sapphire in these blogs forever!

proudgrampa July 12, 2011 at 2:18 pm

6:1 ??? Wow. Now THAT's hardcore. These days, I've taken to waving the bottle over the glass and whispering "vermouth!" Guess that's more like 1,000,000:1, huh?

Oh, and olives must be rinsed. In ice water.

DashboardBuddha July 12, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Lol

Gunner Asch July 12, 2011 at 5:44 pm

Hey you! Let's see your vendor's license! Or if you just pass me a rat-onna-stick maybe I could overlook any infractions this time.

Lascauxcaveman July 12, 2011 at 3:25 pm

Caveman Tech Tip:

Olives CAN be kept in the freezer, just dump 1/2 of the olive juice out of the bottle they live in, and top up with gin. Doesn't even have to be the good stuff. Anything that'll work as antifreeze.

Of course the gin lives in the freezer; the glasses and shaker, too. Dry vermouth in the fridge.

riverside68 July 12, 2011 at 4:12 pm

Wow, great tip, I'm going home right now to put some gin soaked olives in the freezer!

glamourdammerung July 12, 2011 at 5:12 pm

Accepting gifts over $100 was a criminal offense last time I checked. While we all know he is a hypocrite, I was more concerned about how he can publicly ignore the law and all one hears from the "rule of law" conservatives is racist prattle about someone else getting one hamburger.

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