FUNNY PICTURES  4:34 pm July 11, 2011

Wingnut Camper Art Project Shares How-To Secrets For Sexing Obama

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

nobel prize for literature times twentyHere is what a Teabagger stream-of-consciousness novel looks like self-published on the back of a camper, like all major wingnut tomes. Tea Party, meet your T. S. Eliot. 

It is almost as if we are looking at a Teabagger brain scan, or “draft one” of Michele Bachmann’s campaign tour bus, or the lyrics to a song Teabaggers use to sing to their children to sleep at night. There are some important questions, though. Why is most of it spelled correctly? Why is the handwriting so legible? Is Satan actually a bisexual? Why is it called even called “Revelation” when every wingnut already knows about all of these things?

“Obama wants soldiers to wear to pink uniforms, nylon stockings, and high heels, it turns him on” is probably our favorite verse. Does TEA S. Eliot know for sure that this works, from practice? We will try to remember it for future chances to sex the prezident. [Reddit via Wonkette Operative "Leo S."]

 
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{ 396 comments }

nounverb911 July 11, 2011 at 4:35 pm

Is this where the Bachmannn's send their kids for indoctrination?

nounverb911 July 11, 2011 at 4:36 pm

Does the tow car run on santorum?

Barb July 11, 2011 at 4:36 pm

"The bible says you will know queer Obama by his fruits" Kumquat?

Fare la Volpe July 11, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Certainly not melons.

Barb July 11, 2011 at 4:45 pm

Black Barry's?

Fare la Volpe July 11, 2011 at 5:00 pm

The Blacker the Barry, the sweeter the juice.

Geminisunmars July 11, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Nor fresh figs.

Guppy06 July 11, 2011 at 4:58 pm

Arugula.

PristineODummy July 11, 2011 at 11:11 pm

I thought it was spelled "cumtwat." No?

OurHoboSenator July 11, 2011 at 4:36 pm

I thought Sarah Palin quit her bus tour.

Chillwaver July 11, 2011 at 5:09 pm

This one is the "Palin 2016" tour bus.

Reagan Still Dead July 11, 2011 at 5:47 pm

"Palin 2016 Econo-Tour: Sarah Needs the Money!"

Terry July 11, 2011 at 5:23 pm

This would have required a good bit of work, something Palin is demonstratively allergic to.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 19, 2011 at 10:57 pm

If it was Palin's work, the camper would only be half-covered with gibberish.

Monsieur_Grumpe July 11, 2011 at 4:38 pm

Reads like a bottle of Dr Bronner’s Peppermint Soap only evil.

alaninthecastro July 11, 2011 at 4:52 pm

You know those refrigerator magnet sets full of words, where you put them together at random and make a free-verse poem? Wingnut version.

DahBoner July 11, 2011 at 5:06 pm

All One Queer!

Doktor Zoom July 11, 2011 at 5:37 pm

Great Minds….d'oh!

Goonemeritus July 11, 2011 at 7:53 pm

Holey crap Dr Broonner’s peppermint Soap, I feel my youth coming back to me in a giant Patchouli stinking cloud.

Oblios_Cap July 12, 2011 at 8:13 am

Guaranteed Fair Trade! I still use it.

Doktor Zoom July 12, 2011 at 7:49 pm

Mother Cat teaches her kittens the moral ABC. Obama's a Queer (Satan).

TanzbodenKoenig July 11, 2011 at 4:39 pm

"National queers month, is national Satan month"

Unnecessary comma, is unnecessary

Fare la Volpe July 11, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Be glad he knows what a comma is. I'm looking at you, Faulkner.

V572 der Plaatz July 11, 2011 at 4:57 pm

Hey, easy on old Bill. Bit of a racist, sure, but he could actually write when he was sober, or maybe when he was drunk. And like so many great writers, he worked for the Post Office.

ifthethunderdontgetya July 11, 2011 at 4:43 pm

More, commas, equals more, credibility.
~

GOPCrusher July 11, 2011 at 4:56 pm

When I read that, I heard William Shatner's voice.

mumbly_joe July 11, 2011 at 5:02 pm

It certainly makes the dining pandas, more credible.

finallyhappy July 11, 2011 at 5:01 pm

Shouldn't it be National SATIN month?

Doktor Zoom July 11, 2011 at 5:44 pm

This mus't be reported to the Ankh-Morpork Greengrocer's' Guild.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 11, 2011 at 4:39 pm

I didn't know that June was National Satan month. I feel bad that I didn't send out Satan cards, or sacrifice a goat.

Barb July 11, 2011 at 4:42 pm

Get some at Hallmark in the "when you care enough to send the hairy beast" section. The glue on the envelopes taste like ass though.

jus_wonderin July 11, 2011 at 4:46 pm

Oh my. LOL.

But, do I put Forever stamps on them?

WriteyWriterton July 11, 2011 at 4:49 pm

I would recommend the Whatever Stamps.

Negropolis July 12, 2011 at 4:26 am

I'd recommend sealing it with a blood of your choosing.

Limeylizzie July 11, 2011 at 5:06 pm

One of your best ,there, Barb.

Geminisunmars July 11, 2011 at 4:51 pm

Oh crap. I miss it every year.

PuckStopsHere July 11, 2011 at 4:57 pm

That's okay. It's gotten WAY too commercial. Just gets worse every year, you know?

Come here a minute July 11, 2011 at 5:07 pm

I hate it when stores start putting out their "National Satan Month" decorations out before it's even All Queers Eve.

jus_wonderin July 11, 2011 at 5:10 pm

However, after…"There's a sale at Penney's!!"

Mahousu July 11, 2011 at 5:42 pm

Wouldn't the problem be if it hadn't gotten commercial enough?

insidebeltway July 11, 2011 at 5:10 pm

Is it ok to say "Happy Satan" or do we have to say "Good summer month"?

Doktor Zoom July 11, 2011 at 5:14 pm

Keep Satan in Satanmas!

ShaveTheWhales July 11, 2011 at 6:18 pm

It's that blasted "War on Satan", again.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 11, 2011 at 7:39 pm

Where is Bill O'Reilly when there is something important like this?

comrad_darkness July 11, 2011 at 5:44 pm

I never sacrifice my goat since I like the goat cheese, but I do weave it a nice garland of flowers for the occasion.

Does that make me a Bad Satan Worshipper? And what does that imply about being a Good Satan Worshipper anyway?

Biel_ze_Bubba July 19, 2011 at 11:01 pm

"Satan it with Flowers"

nounverb911 July 11, 2011 at 4:39 pm

What happens when this teabagger finds out the Marcus and Lindsey are gay?

jus_wonderin July 11, 2011 at 4:43 pm

"KOA Campgrounds – Over 400 camp site and RV park camping locations offer everything from basic tent sites to cabins, cottages and luxury lodging."

ifthethunderdontgetya July 11, 2011 at 4:45 pm

Who is going to tell him, Mitch McConnell? Rush Limbaugh? FAUX Nooze?

The secret is safe.
~

Barb July 11, 2011 at 4:47 pm

What happens when this teabagger finds out Marcus and Lindsey are gay? I don't know the answer to that. I only hope that he's wearing a condom when he does. : )

Fare la Volpe July 11, 2011 at 4:40 pm

Makes more sense than Atlas Shrugged.

WriteyWriterton July 11, 2011 at 4:45 pm

I thought this was "Atlas Shrugged."

DahBoner July 11, 2011 at 5:09 pm

No, this is Queer Eye for the Atlas Shagged Guy

WriteyWriterton July 11, 2011 at 5:44 pm

Bravo! (See what I did there?)

MLite July 11, 2011 at 5:24 pm

I always find it humorous though that Ayn Rand would also despise people like this.

AlaskaGrrl July 11, 2011 at 8:20 pm

Better written too.

jus_wonderin July 11, 2011 at 4:40 pm

Isn't it a violation when you can't see out of the rear of your vehicle? Or when you have your ranting head so far up your sorry ass you have to drive with your feet?

Doktor Zoom July 11, 2011 at 4:46 pm

Should be fun when they're rear-ended* by a nearsighted driver trying to read their vehicle.

*GET IT??????

nounverb911 July 11, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Now we know who writes the verbal section of the SATs.

Fare la Volpe July 11, 2011 at 4:44 pm

Queer : Obama :: Satan : ______

prommie July 11, 2011 at 4:55 pm

From the LSAT: Four teabaggers are sitting in a row of 5 chairs in the waiting room of the government disability office, waiting for their government check. Teabagger A is a paranoid conspiracy freak who always sits on the end of a row, so he can avoid being surrounded by gay aliens trying to probe him. Teabagger B is a libertarian Ayn Rand devotee. He has to sit on the end also, with the empty chair on the other side of him, because he is an individualist who despises collectivist activities such as sitting with others, or dating or having sex with or civil conversation with others, as well. Teabagger C is wearing a tri-corn hat and carrying a Gadsen flag, on a flagpole. Teabagger D has a handgun in a holster on his right side, and has an AK-47 slung over his left shoulder, and a KKK membership card hidden in his wallet.

Assuming Teabagger A is sitting on the far left, where are the rest of the Teabaggers sitting?

PuckStopsHere July 11, 2011 at 4:59 pm

Is this an ad for Netflix?

Chet Kincaid July 11, 2011 at 5:00 pm

Is this the Wonkette Troll Convention? Because I'm pretty sure you got Neilist in there, for one.

Geminisunmars July 11, 2011 at 5:37 pm

Trick question. None of them would sit on the far left.

ifthethunderdontgetya July 11, 2011 at 4:41 pm

There it is, the old rusted-out camper, America's most trusted journalist.
~

anniegetyerfun July 12, 2011 at 2:38 pm

I've seen this before! He travels to Washington occasionally.

Hey, at least he doesn't tap your phone like Murdoch.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 19, 2011 at 11:03 pm

He's hearing enough voices as it is.

CrankyLttlCamperette July 11, 2011 at 4:41 pm

June is National Queers Month
National Queers Month is National Satan Month

Dammit! You mean I missed it?

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 11, 2011 at 4:45 pm

I would like to think that every month is National Satan Month.

BeWoot July 11, 2011 at 4:52 pm

Yeah, me too. Whoever is in charge of that Gay Agenda thing needs to up their game.

TanzbodenKoenig July 11, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Also, this guy is a total troll: too few misspellings for a Teahadi. I call shenanigans

Zombie_Reagan July 11, 2011 at 4:51 pm

Do failure to use proper grammar and crimes against parentheses count?

SorosBot July 11, 2011 at 4:53 pm

And what about his, seeming belief that, every few words,should be a comma.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 19, 2011 at 11:05 pm

Brain-damaged former English major, methinks.

imissopus July 11, 2011 at 4:41 pm

GAH! I've begged Mom to park that goddamn thing in the garage.

JoshuaNorton July 11, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Today in other Teabagger Favorite Founding Fathers history:

Alexander Hamilton was shot by Aaron Burr 207 years ago today in their infamous morning duel in Weehawken, New Jersey. Hamilton would die of his injuries the next afternoon, July 12, 1804.

To put it in a modern context, imagine Joe Biden and Timothy Geithner rowing to New Jersey and shooting at each other.

No, really. Just imagine it. And try to keep from laughing.

GOPCrusher July 11, 2011 at 5:04 pm

Can't do it.

Terry July 11, 2011 at 5:24 pm

Biden would win hands down. Not even a contest.

CalamityJames July 11, 2011 at 8:42 pm

Did this happen before or after they abolished slavery to warn the British that ringing bells meant two if by sea for freedumz?

samsuncle July 11, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Needs more queer, satan, and Obama but not necessarily in that order.

prommie July 11, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Dr. Bronner, is that you?

Andrew Drinker July 11, 2011 at 5:17 pm

This is what I was gonna say, but I say you're a dirtier hippy than I. I salute you, prommie!

WriteyWriterton July 11, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Another blow for, excuse me, to US literacy.

SheriffRoscoe July 11, 2011 at 4:42 pm

tl;dr

Rosie_Scenario July 11, 2011 at 4:42 pm

Truck Nuts or STFU.

Zombie_Reagan July 11, 2011 at 4:42 pm

Now THIS is a GOP Manifesto worth signing.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 11, 2011 at 4:46 pm

I'm sort of surprised that Michele Bachmann hasn't spray painted her signature at the bottom.

riverside68 July 11, 2011 at 5:02 pm

It's Michele's trailer, full of the remains of the 234 foster kids.

DON"T OPEN THE TRUNK!

PuckStopsHere July 11, 2011 at 4:51 pm

Michele Bachmann signed it this morning.

comrad_darkness July 11, 2011 at 5:48 pm

It was ALL preamble, turns out.

genxr July 11, 2011 at 5:35 pm

Better check the front bumper for a preamble, first.

OC_Surf_Serf July 11, 2011 at 4:42 pm

RV actually stands for Really Vile? Redneck Voter?? Rapture Victim???

CalamityJames July 11, 2011 at 8:43 pm

All of them, katie.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 11, 2011 at 4:42 pm

It is good to know in this day and age, as print media becomes less and less important, there is still a place for the printed word on the back of beat up RVs and Pickup Trucks throughout this land.

WriteyWriterton July 11, 2011 at 4:42 pm

Who knew the marketplace of ideas was a parking lot?

Doktor Zoom July 11, 2011 at 5:28 pm

He's set up a rickety card table in the flea market of ideas.

WriteyWriterton July 11, 2011 at 5:33 pm

More like a teevee dining table, over which hangs his sagging beer belly, as he consumes corn-syrup and cheese curls to the dulcet tones of Steve Doocy, et al.

genxr July 11, 2011 at 5:31 pm

More of a flea market of ideas, but yes.

Blendergoathead July 11, 2011 at 4:43 pm

If that's not a mobile meth lab, it sure as hell looks like one.

riverside68 July 11, 2011 at 5:03 pm

Most excellent cover!

genxr July 11, 2011 at 5:36 pm

Yes, nobody would suspect the driver of paranoia, or staying up for days on end working on bizarre projects.

WriteyWriterton July 11, 2011 at 5:45 pm

Totally!

BaldarTFlagass July 11, 2011 at 4:43 pm

He drives from gun show to tea party rally to gun show, across the nation, selling T-Shirts that say "Yup, I'm a racist." This is what he does between shows.

Rotundo_ July 11, 2011 at 4:44 pm

WTF? is this the Westboro mobile unit? Are they too broke to buy hotel rooms or do a meth binge to get to the graveside protest of the day? Or is this one of the old boys' disciples striking out on his own as a prophet (or should that be spelled profit?)? Yay for our open 'murkin' society and for tolerance!

Doktor Zoom July 11, 2011 at 4:44 pm

Oooh, somebody's still using PrintShop 1.2!

I'm just surprised it's not dot-matrix….

BaldarTFlagass July 11, 2011 at 4:52 pm

I think those are mailbox letters.

Giveusabob July 11, 2011 at 5:23 pm

More likely generated using The Print Shop for C64, by Brøderbund. I should ask him if he still has a working Galaxian cartridge. Mine finally died a couple years ago.

SexySmurf July 11, 2011 at 4:44 pm

I wonder how he knows that Obama (bi-sexual) Satan isn't circumcised?

PuckStopsHere July 11, 2011 at 4:53 pm

From when he was sucking on his dick, on account of he's a cocksucker. (God, it's been weeks since I've been able to work the word "cocksucker" into a post. I feel so much better. Cocksucker, cocksucker, cocksucker).

riverside68 July 11, 2011 at 5:05 pm

Does that mean he's not Muslin? And not part of ZOG?

Weird. who would have thunk it?

Chet Kincaid July 11, 2011 at 4:45 pm

Alright, Oregon Wonketeers — run those plates! (And send the info to the Secret Service, please!)

Pat_Pending July 11, 2011 at 5:55 pm

Probably from Bend, Oregon. Known colloquially as 'Bend Over Again'

jus_wonderin July 11, 2011 at 4:45 pm

I do think there is a point at which you have used a word beyond it having any remaining meaning. QUEERS!!

tessiee July 11, 2011 at 10:46 pm

Also, there comes a point where, if you repeat a word enough times, it starts sounding really weird.

Weenus299 July 11, 2011 at 4:45 pm

Fuck, that reads like Howl for idiots.

Doktor Zoom July 11, 2011 at 5:33 pm

I am not allowed
To ever come up with a single original thought
I am not allowed
To meet the criminal government agent who oppresses me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpRTjKXxXRo

exmartinette July 11, 2011 at 10:49 pm

I dunno, seems more Joycean to me:

"Stately, plump Communist Buck (Queer) Mulligan Satan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed…"

prommie July 11, 2011 at 4:45 pm

Cheeta? GM? Soldiers in pink uniforms, nylon stockings, and high heels? This is beautiful. I think this guy might be a little too fixated on the "queer" thing, though. Its queer, in fact, its the queeriest queer queerness, how often he finds it necessary to use the word "queer."

GOPCrusher July 11, 2011 at 5:08 pm

Why does this character hate Miroslav Satan?

donner_froh July 11, 2011 at 6:13 pm

Must be a Rangers fan.

V572 der Plaatz July 11, 2011 at 5:35 pm

He's queerly got a problem along those lines.

outragedcitizen July 12, 2011 at 7:50 am

I suspect his rant and the use of the queer word has something to do with a closet…

BaldarTFlagass July 11, 2011 at 4:45 pm

I think this guy has some issues.

WriteyWriterton July 11, 2011 at 4:47 pm

This guy has nothing BUT issues.

jus_wonderin July 11, 2011 at 4:53 pm

His issues have issues.

Doktor Zoom July 11, 2011 at 5:13 pm

His issues have this guy.

JoshuaNorton July 11, 2011 at 5:05 pm

More issues than a magazine stand.

riverside68 July 11, 2011 at 5:07 pm

You really are a pretty sensitive guy . . . are you sure you don't happen to be QUEER?

insidebeltway July 11, 2011 at 5:13 pm

That RV is actually his closet. Come on out, we don't bite.

Come here a minute July 11, 2011 at 5:15 pm

Yes, back issues of Blueboy.

tessiee July 11, 2011 at 10:48 pm

"I think this guy has some issues. "

"Some"? He's got more issues than Time-Life.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 19, 2011 at 11:18 pm

I'm thinking National Geographic – huge piles of issues that he won't ever part with.

PuckStopsHere July 11, 2011 at 4:45 pm

In which issue of "Better Homes and Gardens" did you find this picture?

El Pinche July 11, 2011 at 4:46 pm

Doesn't the driver know never get political when you're trying to pick up 9 yr old boys?. It's a turn off.

SorosBot July 11, 2011 at 4:46 pm

His spelling mostly correct might be mostly, but he grammar are atrocious. So bad it.

Barb July 11, 2011 at 4:54 pm

Dude, how does he know the POTUS is uncircumcised? The bagger doth protest too much, methinks.

SorosBot July 11, 2011 at 5:18 pm

He probably knows because the President's giant black cock is uncircumcised in his visions where Obama forces the driver to suck it. These visions are nightmares, and not at all fantasies he jerks off too.

tessiee July 11, 2011 at 10:49 pm

I accidently the insane RV.

ManchuCandidate July 11, 2011 at 4:46 pm

This guy must want to suck a cock so bad.

Zombie_Reagan July 11, 2011 at 4:48 pm

The self-projection in that schizophrenic screed is truly unbelievable.

prommie July 11, 2011 at 4:59 pm

Like the comedian who said he wanted to rebel against his Dad so bad, he fantasized that he woul move to the city, and get a little dolly, like a furniture dolly, and push himself down the street, sucking every cock he saw, just rolling along, surrounded by dongs, sucking one after another. Thats what this guy wants so bad.

Radiotherapy® July 11, 2011 at 6:45 pm

Like this guy.
apologies to el pinche

Tommmcattt July 11, 2011 at 6:46 pm

I think I have a movie like that somewhere.

V572 der Plaatz July 11, 2011 at 5:37 pm

Must be related to Bruce Heffernan.

PristineODummy July 12, 2011 at 12:09 am

How can you tell? I mean, what's the give-away, here?

LabRodent July 11, 2011 at 4:46 pm

Whats his problem?

Weenus299 July 11, 2011 at 4:46 pm

(Satan) God (Obama) Queer (The Bible) Thinks (Hates God) Politicians (Fags) AND ARE (Un-American).

ShaveTheWhales July 11, 2011 at 6:24 pm

QED.

MaxNeanderthal July 11, 2011 at 4:47 pm

I sense that black goop starts to run down the owners face whenever a rational thought flits across the alkali desert of his mind. Think Gary Oldman in "The Fifth Element" when he's under pressure from his demon…

alaninthecastro July 11, 2011 at 4:47 pm

I can't believe I missed National Satan Month! Why didn't Wonkette notify us? Goddamn Beelzebub didn't even mention it on his Facebook page.

HistoriCat July 11, 2011 at 9:02 pm

It's because Wonkette is morally weak.

BaldarTFlagass July 11, 2011 at 4:47 pm

What does this guy have against Santa?

BTWBFDIMHO July 11, 2011 at 4:58 pm

Santa makes him Claustrophobic.

Chet Kincaid July 11, 2011 at 5:02 pm

That rubs unpleasantly against my pun receptors. Good job!

Doktor Zoom July 11, 2011 at 5:25 pm

He's sick of his hard-earned tax dollars going to all those Dependent Clauses.

ShaveTheWhales July 11, 2011 at 6:25 pm

I dunno, Faldar.

samsuncle July 11, 2011 at 4:47 pm

This guy is just pissed off because Obama wants to take away his corporate jet tax deduction.

freelancer July 11, 2011 at 4:47 pm

Who knew Livonia was actually in Oregon?

PuckStopsHere July 11, 2011 at 5:03 pm

OMG. First I've heard of this guy. I can walk to Livonia from my house. I never have, but I could.

Doktor Zoom July 11, 2011 at 5:18 pm

Oh, my…

For a moment there, I thought he was this guy

Geminisunmars July 11, 2011 at 5:31 pm

"I am from the village of Minerva".
Sheer poetry.

Barrelhse July 11, 2011 at 5:30 pm

Livonia's a town?
I thought it was that black-haired broad with big tits who always shows up on TV at Halloween.

horsedreamer_1 July 11, 2011 at 4:48 pm

Oregon plates mean this is Hipster Irony ™.

& you will know the Blue Collar Parody Tour by the Fleet Foxes soundtrack on the ipod.

emmelemm July 11, 2011 at 5:08 pm

OH please oh please oh please let it be hipster irony. Now THAT would put a smile on my face.

Rarian Rakista July 11, 2011 at 5:57 pm

Um, guys, I live in Oregon, you do realize like anything on the east side of the Cascades is pretty much the worst of redneck country from California, paranoid desert dwellers from Nevada and white supremacists from Idaho.

It is only like 10% of the population of the state though.

Sparky_McGruff July 11, 2011 at 9:23 pm

Who are you kidding? You don't have to go east of the cascades. You just have to take the right exits from I-5. Springfield, REPRESENT!

Then again, half of Portland makes me nervous for one reason or another, for that matter. There's a reason that Tonya Harding felt so at home in the greater Portburgh area.

SheriffRoscoe July 11, 2011 at 4:48 pm

Our downfister troll has been busy.

fuflans July 11, 2011 at 5:25 pm

it's downfister's camper after all.

comrad_darkness July 11, 2011 at 5:50 pm

He luvs the crazy.

SayItWithWookies July 11, 2011 at 4:48 pm

Geeze — throw in some more circumcision references and you've got the lost letter of Paul to the Romans.

Doktor Zoom July 11, 2011 at 5:01 pm

Just like the Bible says.

Doktor Zoom July 11, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Dilute! Dilute!

Monsieur_Grumpe July 11, 2011 at 4:56 pm

Great minds.

tessiee July 11, 2011 at 10:54 pm

All-one! OK!

littlebigdaddy July 11, 2011 at 4:49 pm

the "stiff-necked weiner" bit reveals some sexual ambivalence, in my opinion.

Barb July 11, 2011 at 4:49 pm

OH SHIT! OT, but Westboro plans to picket Betty Fords funeral. Man, they should just tazer those bastards!

ThundercatHo July 11, 2011 at 4:58 pm

Tazer, nah, RPG.

Rotundo_ July 11, 2011 at 5:03 pm

They go to every celeb and political funeral, I'm sure that the secret service will keep them at a safe distance on this one. I'm surprised they don't sell tee shirts or something. If they really wanted to make some money, they could set up a spitting booth and charge folks five bucks to hock a loogie on them.

C_R_Eature July 12, 2011 at 12:04 am

I'd pay to throw pies. If the pies were filled with Durian fruit puree, habanero pepper and LSD, that is.

PristineODummy July 12, 2011 at 12:28 am

You'd waste good durian on those scum? Hai-yah, what is the world coming to, lor.

C_R_Eature July 12, 2011 at 5:15 am

That's a very good point, thanks.

Whipped cream and Butyric Acid, then.

edgydrifter July 11, 2011 at 4:50 pm

If the choice is between being a gay satanic communist or this guy's buddy, I'll be the one giving out handies and vials of goat blood down at Lenin's tomb.

gullywompr July 11, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Every summer, there's one or two of these vehicles that drive around and around downtown DC, spreading their message, and looking for cheap parking. It really destroys the beauty of the National Mall.

MissusBarry July 11, 2011 at 5:04 pm

Ah, you must know the Beverly Hillbilly anti-abortion truck that indicates brown babies are an endangered species, then? Often by Union Station. Always makes the bile and the blood pressure rise.

gullywompr July 11, 2011 at 5:25 pm

Yep, I see that yahoo every couple of days.

Ya know, that contraption looks like a real fire trap. I'd hate to see anything happen to it.

MissusBarry July 11, 2011 at 5:32 pm

Indeed, and a relatively dry summer. I should probably delete this account, now, and erase all electronic evidence of wonkette participation.

Barrelhse July 11, 2011 at 5:34 pm

It gets terribly hot in DC during the summer months. Perhaps these fine folks would enjoy a cocktail, eh, Molotov?

gullywompr July 11, 2011 at 5:46 pm

That probably won't be necessary. I'm not joking when I say that vehicle is a fire trap – it appears to be constructed primarily from plywood and poster board. Also, it doesn't look like it's been inspected recently. I'm guessing his muffler mount will rust away pretty soon, and the resulting sparks will give us a new entry to the Darwin Awards Hall of Fame.

finallyhappy July 11, 2011 at 5:05 pm

I did see the trucks for the Rapture around the mall but I'll have to look for these losers.

Barrelhse July 11, 2011 at 5:37 pm

Those Rapture assholes won't be back. They're homeless, jobless, and saddled with huge payments on their gasoline charge-cards.
And fucking stupid, ha ha!

baconzgood July 11, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Jebus…..I need a fucking flow chart to understand this shit.

"The truth is nasty as queer Obama"? Can you even diagram that sentence?

Geminisunmars July 11, 2011 at 5:02 pm

Truth>>>>>>>nasty<<<<<<<<++++
+
+
^^^^^^^^Obama[[[queer]]]] The Is Ass

Doktor Zoom July 11, 2011 at 6:07 pm

I saw something nasty in the camper.

pinkocommi July 11, 2011 at 4:51 pm

It is amazing how obsessed by sin are the people who secretly commit so much of it.

There's a lesson there.

Barrelhse July 11, 2011 at 5:39 pm

I'm going to guess it's a little crusty inside that rolling cum-wipe.

petehammer July 11, 2011 at 4:51 pm

(crosses fingers)

Please not Oregon, please not Oregon, please not Oregon…

DAMMIT!

baconzgood July 11, 2011 at 5:05 pm

WIN.

hagajim July 11, 2011 at 5:31 pm

Gotta be eastsider

Barrelhse July 11, 2011 at 5:40 pm

Drifted down from WA, no doubt.

riverside68 July 11, 2011 at 6:15 pm

Hey, you got no call to bring WA into this.

Far more likely he drifted up from Californication, or over from SLC

__kth__ July 11, 2011 at 6:22 pm

take it easy, even money says the trailer isn't registered and OR is merely the home state of the previous owner

gullywompr July 11, 2011 at 4:52 pm

They've got to stop selling those magnetic poetry kits.

LabRodent July 11, 2011 at 4:52 pm

I wonder what the inside looks like…..

jus_wonderin July 11, 2011 at 4:57 pm

Oh my god, you are brave. I can't even bring myself to wonder.

__kth__ July 11, 2011 at 6:24 pm

he meant the trailer

tessiee July 11, 2011 at 10:59 pm

A whole lotta Sudafed and nail polish remover.

WriteyWriterton July 11, 2011 at 5:00 pm

Hundreds, literally hundreds, of empty boxes of ephedrine tablets. And the rest of this list, in profuse quantities: http://citizensagainstmeth.org/meth_ingredients.h

Radiotherapy® July 11, 2011 at 5:08 pm

It's like watching Föx 24/7.

Doktor Zoom July 11, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Think Jame Gumb's basement, only not as roomy.

glamourdammerung July 11, 2011 at 6:29 pm

I was thinking Jame Gumb's basement but with more paperwork for "entitlement programs" myself.

littlebigdaddy July 11, 2011 at 5:46 pm

Yes, that was my first thought and it was not pretty. Also, too imagine what it *smells* like.

Steverino247 July 11, 2011 at 7:04 pm

Um, let's see. Jack Chick pamphlets up the ass?

Chet Kincaid July 11, 2011 at 8:31 pm

That's novel — apply them at the seat of the problem!

C_R_Eature July 11, 2011 at 11:01 pm

It's one Fructose-Spattered Fantasy in there.

Eve8Apples July 12, 2011 at 12:24 am

There has to be a cage containing a blindfolded, bound and gagged missing child.

Chillwaver July 11, 2011 at 4:53 pm

"Quick, to the Batshit-mobile!"

(I know I recycled this one, but it's still funny)

BaldarTFlagass July 11, 2011 at 4:53 pm

Needs more "Good Sam RV Club" stickers.

BornInATrailer July 11, 2011 at 4:54 pm

One is almost left with the feeling he has an issue with homosexuals.

BaldarTFlagass July 11, 2011 at 4:55 pm

I wouldn't like to have a beer with this person.

Monsieur_Grumpe July 11, 2011 at 4:55 pm

This kind of redefines the bumper sticker.

Barrelhse July 11, 2011 at 4:55 pm

Something VERY queer about this guy, eh?

baconzgood July 11, 2011 at 4:55 pm

"THE WHOLE WORLD LOVES A WINNER. NOT SATAN (QUEER) OBAMA A WIENER WITH EARS, STIFFED NECKED, AND UNCIRCUMSIZED WHICH MEANS HE HAS A HARD ON FOR GOD (AMERICA) BUT HE'S NOT SHOWING IT"

That statment confuses me. Isn't a hard on for God a good thing? This guy's thought process is as clear as tar.

Barrelhse July 11, 2011 at 5:43 pm

Yeah, if the "whole world loves a wiener," then what's the problem?

Steverino247 July 11, 2011 at 7:06 pm

And since we all know that "God has a hard on for the Marines…"

JoshuaNorton July 11, 2011 at 4:55 pm

Someone has spent waaaaay too much time fixating on what's "queer".

Next thing you know the neighbors will be telling the camera crews "but he seemed so normal" after the SWAT team and ambulances pull away.

voodooeconomics July 11, 2011 at 5:01 pm

lmao. hopefully before he hurts someone in a wild shootout with the queeerrrrrss

finallyhappy July 11, 2011 at 5:08 pm

Amazing- when I hear that one- and then you see the photo of the guy. I worry about the neighbors too.

Doktor Zoom July 11, 2011 at 5:12 pm

Check his crawlspace, NOW.

tessiee July 11, 2011 at 11:01 pm

"the neighbors will be telling the camera crews "but he seemed so normal""

Somehow, I'm inclined to doubt that.

Doktor Zoom July 11, 2011 at 11:48 pm

Yeah, he strikes me as more the "Pretty quiet, kept to himself. We had no idea!" type.

PristineODummy July 12, 2011 at 12:39 am

Not *his* neighbours, bud. They'll be the ones who called SWAT on him.

Fare la Volpe July 11, 2011 at 4:56 pm

The whole world loves a winner, not Satan (queer) Obama, a weiner, with ears, stiff necked, and uncircumsized which means he has a hard on for God (America) but he's not showing it.

Trust me, honey. He's showing it.

SexySmurf July 11, 2011 at 4:58 pm

Who says Obama's stimulus package was too small?

Limeylizzie July 11, 2011 at 6:29 pm

He is so beautiful, I will miss him next year and won't feel the same about President Michele and Mrs. Bachmann.

SexySmurf July 11, 2011 at 4:56 pm

"The truth is as nasty as queer (Satan) Obama, (has to be)…"

Is this a reference to Obama's brief stint as hype man for 2 Live Crew?

Doktor Zoom July 11, 2011 at 5:27 pm
WriteyWriterton July 11, 2011 at 4:56 pm

Does the "HC" on the Oregon plate stand for "Howling Crazy"?

ThundercatHo July 11, 2011 at 4:57 pm

"Hard on for God (America)", I thought that was Newt's gig.

zhubajie July 11, 2011 at 10:05 pm

I'll bet Neut hasn't been really hard for a long time!

Guppy06 July 11, 2011 at 4:57 pm

That camper is made of pure Time Cube!

prommie July 11, 2011 at 4:57 pm

Whats the over/under on the number of dead hookers buried in this guy's crawlspace?

MaxNeanderthal July 11, 2011 at 5:07 pm

8 male, 6 female, +/- 2

PristineODummy July 12, 2011 at 12:41 am

I was thinking in the hundreds, surely. Too ambitious?

WriteyWriterton July 11, 2011 at 5:11 pm

I'll take the over.

Chet Kincaid July 11, 2011 at 4:57 pm

IF THIS CAMPERS ROCKIN QUEERS CAME A-KNOCKIN. CALL 911 & MARCUS BACHMANN STRAIGHT SQUAD STAT. GOD BLESS

axmxz July 11, 2011 at 4:57 pm

"Satan Obama forks everybody" is an anagram for "Fat Yank sodomy observer, baa."

WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!?..

Barrelhse July 11, 2011 at 5:52 pm

maxzx- is that you?

SheriffRoscoe July 11, 2011 at 4:59 pm

America is now under communist command.

And yet, we can't seem to raise taxes on corporate jet owners.

Rotundo_ July 11, 2011 at 4:59 pm

When this one breaks down for the last time, I'll bet some poor yardman in some godforsaken shithole of a junkyard is going to run into some surprises that will rattle him down to his core. If the outside is that fucked up, imagine how the author lives inside. I'm thinking lots and lots of newspaper clippings, rat turds and many bottles of distilled water and urine with dates written on them. And a few partially consumed bottles of various antipsychotics buried in the layers below.

MaxNeanderthal July 11, 2011 at 5:10 pm

Yup ;"Wonder what that lampshade's made of?………uh-oh….."

jus_wonderin July 11, 2011 at 5:26 pm

I bet he's waiting for the next Cash for Clunkers program.

zhubajie July 11, 2011 at 10:08 pm

The roof is held up by piles of porno tapes, porn books, full runs of Hustler, Blueboy, etc. I doubt he can afford to hire a yardman, so you can bet the grass and bushes are tall and bushy.

PristineODummy July 12, 2011 at 12:42 am

What, no feces?

baconzgood July 11, 2011 at 5:00 pm

NEEDS MOAR "()" AND "," AND CAPS!!!!

Doktor Zoom July 11, 2011 at 5:00 pm

I think I'll skip this movie, now that I've seen the trailer.

bureaucrap July 11, 2011 at 5:06 pm

wish I could double upfist that one. Nice!

Radiotherapy® July 11, 2011 at 5:11 pm

And to think the book is usually better than the movie.

5thstate July 11, 2011 at 5:01 pm

All valid points, of course, but the real question is; What is GOD going to fucking DO about It, then?

Geminisunmars July 11, 2011 at 5:34 pm

Send dust storms, fires, tornados…oh, wait

zhubajie July 11, 2011 at 10:14 pm

Sit back and laugh, of course. Say something like "Hey, Satan, have you seen this dipshit in Oregon who's saying my servant Obama is queer? What do you think?" Satan: "As I go up and down and to and fro in the world, I have more fun with the conserva-cookies in the US than with anything else. I don't even need to tempt them much!" "Drinking the Kool-aid, are they?" "You betcha!"

weejee July 11, 2011 at 5:02 pm

What's really queer is that Agent Orange has absolutely lost control over the shits in the Rethug House macaucus. He needs Depends moar than Vitter.

BTWBFDIMHO July 11, 2011 at 5:03 pm

Needs a bumper sticker: How is my UPPERCASING?

GOPCrusher July 11, 2011 at 5:14 pm

My Co-Pilot is Jesus.

Mumbletypeg July 11, 2011 at 6:21 pm

WIN

prommie July 11, 2011 at 5:04 pm

You have to admit, its more coherent than Palin's platform. He is something of a single-issue guy, but, well, he does get his message across: QUEERS.

SheriffRoscoe July 11, 2011 at 5:10 pm

We don't know if anyone's told him how much a Slim Jim will set you back these days.

Limeylizzie July 11, 2011 at 5:04 pm

I would like to fuck Wonkette Operative "Leo S.".

Barb July 11, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Quick someone! How do I change my user name to Leo S?

WriteyWriterton July 11, 2011 at 5:15 pm

Too late. I've already done it! Oh, wait, I haven't!

Limeylizzie July 11, 2011 at 5:21 pm

Hubba Hubba.

WriteyWriterton July 11, 2011 at 5:13 pm

Oh, you. How've you been otherwise?

Barb July 11, 2011 at 5:22 pm

Bad day, got smacked by a Wal Mart employee. Wondering if I should go back and kick his ass, lol.

jus_wonderin July 11, 2011 at 5:31 pm

Barb, don't tell us you attended Bristol's book signing.

Barb July 11, 2011 at 5:39 pm

LOL! That was really funny, thanks!
Stopped by Wal Mart, paid for my propane gas tank refill, asked for a pack of Marlboro and the cashier couldn't find them. They were past the register and beyond the bagging area, so he can't say he feared for my snatching money out of the till that wasn't opened. There was a waist-high door between us and a good 7 feet between he and I. I pointed to what he was looking for and he spun around, lunged forward, smacked my hand out of the air and snarled "RELAX"

I was stunned and couldn't speak. It was so humiliating! He didn't smile or chuckle or act like it was a joke. The dude has anger issues.

I called the manager and I am waiting for them to watch the security tape of it. My friends are voting for me to have him arrested. I am voting for him to lose his job.

WriteyWriterton July 11, 2011 at 5:35 pm

Sorry to hear that. Go back and loosen the nuts on his Hoverround wheels. That'll show him!

zhubajie July 11, 2011 at 10:15 pm

Piss in his gas tank.

Limeylizzie July 11, 2011 at 5:26 pm

All is well, Writey!

WriteyWriterton July 11, 2011 at 5:36 pm

Excellent, L!

Chet Kincaid July 11, 2011 at 5:39 pm

No love for the last installment of Lionel & Antoinette's adventures? I put extra Nazi-killing in it for you…

Limeylizzie July 11, 2011 at 5:44 pm

Oh, goody, I am heading back to the hayloft right now…

Limeylizzie July 11, 2011 at 5:53 pm

We need to write some really good war / espionage soft-core porn.

imissopus July 11, 2011 at 6:00 pm

Can't believe an hour in and no one has gone with the "I'm Leo S!" meme.

I'm Leo S!

Limeylizzie July 11, 2011 at 6:31 pm

C'mere you.

Barrelhse July 11, 2011 at 8:57 pm

lol

Tundra Grifter July 11, 2011 at 10:15 pm

Today we are all Leo S. If we're lucky.

You go [at it], girl!

tessiee July 11, 2011 at 11:18 pm

"I'm Leo S, and so is my wife!"

Doktor Zoom July 11, 2011 at 11:41 pm

She's frosting a cake with a paper knife….

("I have amnesia and deja vu at the same time"–Steven Wright)

C_R_Eature July 12, 2011 at 12:08 am

All what we got here's American Made.
It's a little bit Cheesy, but it's nicely displayed.

so it's All Good.

BaldarTFlagass July 12, 2011 at 8:40 am

I'm just trying to figure out the connection between crucifixion scene in Monty Python's Life of Brian and Frank Zappa's "Flakes". Twice in two days, yet.

C_R_Eature July 11, 2011 at 11:32 pm

Today, We are all want to be Leo S.

(Fixed.)

Fox n Fiends July 11, 2011 at 5:04 pm

Its missing one more sticker: "Log Cabin Republican Inside".

Tundra Grifter July 11, 2011 at 10:07 pm

How far is the Olde Log Inn?

PristineODummy July 12, 2011 at 12:47 am

But soft and creamy on the outside.

LiveToServeYa July 11, 2011 at 5:05 pm

Some people need an entire camper to haul their closet around.

axmxz July 11, 2011 at 5:05 pm

So that's what Tourette's looks like on paper.

evan7257 July 11, 2011 at 5:06 pm

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Barack Obama is a Queer.

Barb July 11, 2011 at 5:10 pm

When I read this I imagined The Talking Heads singing it, lol.

Geminisunmars July 11, 2011 at 5:26 pm

same as it ever was, same as it ever was, same as it ever was…

Doktor Zoom July 11, 2011 at 6:05 pm

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But BARACK OBAMA IS QUEER (SATAN).

__kth__ July 11, 2011 at 6:30 pm

not with a bang but with a rimjob?

WriteyWriterton July 11, 2011 at 5:08 pm

O/T: In the book ad for "A Stranger Like You," they call it the best book about the underbelly of H-wood since "Day of the Locus."

I missed that one. Read "Day of the Locust," though. That was pretty darn good.

BornInATrailer July 11, 2011 at 5:09 pm

The Master's tardis in the latest Dr. Who incarnation is fairly disturbing.

JoshuaNorton July 11, 2011 at 5:21 pm

OK, I LOL'd on that one, I did.

Doktor Zoom July 11, 2011 at 6:10 pm

This is more of a Fucktardis

zhubajie July 11, 2011 at 10:17 pm

Hey, everyone knows that Dr Hu is having fun in China! The Tardis is disguised as your classic Beijing brick shit-house.

axmxz July 11, 2011 at 5:11 pm
DerrickWildcat July 11, 2011 at 5:15 pm

It's kinda like a mean Howard Finster without the cool art.

DrunkenPalmetto July 11, 2011 at 5:18 pm

If you read it backwards its just "I buried Russert" over and over.

Eve8Apples July 11, 2011 at 5:22 pm

The only things holding that piece of shit tin can together are packing tape and hate.

Imagine the look on the other campers' faces when Mr. Enlightment rolls into the RV park for the night.

__kth__ July 11, 2011 at 6:36 pm

I'm guessing the swankier "RV resorts" probably don't rent to the likes of him (the side panel is probably a long screed on the fascism inherent in requiring trailers to be of a more recent vintage than 1966, and to have a functioning suspension system). Nothing the state parks can do to keep him out, though, sadly.

Rotundo_ July 11, 2011 at 5:23 pm

Imagine sitting at your pic-a-nic table in front of your winnebago and having this charmer pull upside in the next camping space. What a veritable feast for the senses: The smells, the taste (no doubt from the strong smells) the sound of him ranting all night, the chills running up and down your spine when he starts chanting Obama Faggot! over and over again until he comes all over himself.. The sight of it all…

SorosBot July 11, 2011 at 5:29 pm

The screams from the back of the wagon…

Barrelhse July 11, 2011 at 6:07 pm

And the pale, thin, bruised young boy they would occasionally glimpse…..

tessiee July 11, 2011 at 11:25 pm

"Imagine sitting at your pic-a-nic table"

I doubt this guy is smarter than the average bear.

Thurman Munster IV July 11, 2011 at 5:25 pm

Last time this guy was in New York, I'm sure he dined at the Algonquin Round table with like-"minded" Illuminati.

fuflans July 11, 2011 at 5:27 pm

man that's a LOT of tape.

hagajim July 11, 2011 at 5:28 pm

Hapyness not gay? Shit, I thought hapiness and gay were synonymous…WTF happened to my language?

Oh – and I am confused, is queer Obama bi-sexual, or satan, or both? And if he is queer and satan how does that make him bi-sexual?

Barrelhse July 11, 2011 at 6:08 pm

I dare you to ask him!

tessiee July 11, 2011 at 11:33 pm

I think the queer Satan's name is actually Satin.

fuflans July 11, 2011 at 5:28 pm

where's the stuff about elvis?

WhatTheHeck July 11, 2011 at 5:31 pm

That's one long pre-amble to saying he doesn't like a black president.

5thstate July 11, 2011 at 6:34 pm

Not at all, just one mention of a monkey as far as I can see.

One things for sure, this guy (HAS to be a guy, right?) obviously missed both the free blogging trend of a few years ago and the more recent Facebook thing.

SorosBot July 11, 2011 at 6:53 pm

Mention of a monkey and an ape, all in the same sentence; at least he seems to know that apes are not monkeys. There may also be racial subtext to the uncut thing; but yeah he seems a lot more focused on his assertion that Obama is queer (Satan).

fuflans July 11, 2011 at 5:36 pm

i think this is more james joyce than ts eliot.

littlebigdaddy July 11, 2011 at 5:52 pm

I was thinking this is exactly what Kerouac would be up to today if he survived, but pickled his brain with the booze and drugs. Alzheimer's and paranoia also.

WriteyWriterton July 11, 2011 at 5:37 pm

In Oregon, everything eventually disintegrates. Well, on the windward side, anyway. On the lee side, everything dries up and blows away.

jus_wonderin July 11, 2011 at 5:37 pm

I see an offer of spokesperson coming from the Cracker Barrel Resturant chain.

glamourdammerung July 11, 2011 at 5:43 pm

Spanky bought a vehicle?

emmelemm July 11, 2011 at 7:32 pm

I think if we look carefully, we'll see a little satellite dish on the roof for the internet connection.

C_R_Eature July 11, 2011 at 11:12 pm

spanky2b's Mobile Keyboard Kommand Post. Awesome.

Oh, boy. We're going to get a Serious Downfisting from this and maybe even another "hurt feelings" reply I'll have to ignore.

Doktor Zoom July 11, 2011 at 11:46 pm

He's "followed" me three different times over the past few days. He seems to think the auto-notification emails will somehow steal my mana. But, hey, if it makes him feel like he's winning his war on liberalism, sure.

Help, Help. I am being followed by Spanky2B. I am so very intimidated. Gosh, maybe I should rethink my political beliefs and stop being a communist. Golly. He sure has shown ME.

glamourdammerung July 11, 2011 at 11:54 pm

At the end of the day, I have pretty swell life and am happy. They are a deviant obsessed with trolling a website. I am really not sure what they think they are going to show any of us acting like a moron simply for the sake of it outside of what a bad joke American conservativism has become.

C_R_Eature July 11, 2011 at 11:54 pm

Ditto that. You must be pissing him off. Either those "follows" are some half-assed intimidation tactic (look, see, I'm watching You!") or it's a poke at us for attention. Sad either way and I'd almost feel sorry but for the fact that he's such a Smeghead.

glamourdammerung July 12, 2011 at 12:01 am

After the stupid remarks about the girl murdered in the Giffords shooting, it was pretty obvious they were either a world class jerk or severely mentally/emotionally disturbed. Given all the time they obsess over us, I would pick the latter if I had to guess.

It was funny though seeing how fast they would scurry off if their behavior got pointed out though. Besides, I have a suspicion that our other moron poster with multiple accounts is probably the same clown, so they can still whine here in impotent rage in between sobbing about bans "for no reason".

PristineODummy July 12, 2011 at 1:40 am

He followed me twice today, in the space of ten minutes or so. ??? Why would anybody want or need to follow someone else TWICE? It's not like it makes any difference to my p-ness or anything. And certainly not to my life. Plus, he's got a headshot of himself in serious bondage gear. Something tells me he's a bottom.

Chet Kincaid July 12, 2011 at 9:25 am

Didn't somebody confirm a long time ago that he's just some asshole kid using javascripts to automate all this nonsense?

comrad_darkness July 11, 2011 at 5:50 pm

So, mister RV Teabagger, tell us about your mother . . . tell us about the time she caught you in her pink hosiery and high heels . . .

Pat_Pending July 11, 2011 at 5:52 pm

Hmm… is the author of this tome a hollow man or a stuffed man?

glamourdammerung July 11, 2011 at 6:01 pm

Needs at least three "wonKKKette bans non-communists" in there to remind me of a certain someone.

Tommmcattt July 11, 2011 at 6:53 pm

Nah. Far too literate and well-spoken.

__kth__ July 11, 2011 at 6:03 pm

The loony doth protest too much, methinks.

J Rbt. Oppenheiner July 11, 2011 at 6:04 pm

I didn't know Michele Bachman's husband was from Oregon.

pinkocommi July 11, 2011 at 6:04 pm

I am sure we all can sleep a little sounder knowing that the NRA continues to fight for the right of this guy to buy as many handguns and assault weapons as he wants.

raygotaway July 11, 2011 at 6:05 pm

Fuck Schoolhouse Rock when you got toothless, cousin humping, bagger learning.

Barrelhse July 11, 2011 at 8:58 pm

Ray, where you been posting lately?

Buckminster July 11, 2011 at 6:12 pm

I've never felt a desire to take up vandalism with a shotgun before I saw that trailer. However, I'm reconsidering.

donner_froh July 11, 2011 at 6:18 pm

If I had a nickel for every cock the owner of that trailer dreamed about sucking I would have a lot of nickels.

smitallica July 11, 2011 at 6:21 pm

I propose a law that anyone who purchases more than two sheets of those stick-on letters is instantly thrown into a jail or insane asylum. Nothing good can come of it.

flamingpdog July 11, 2011 at 6:30 pm

I bet Barry's not a happy camper today.

BarackMyWorld July 11, 2011 at 6:39 pm

I bet that truck is going to get rear-ended a lot, both from people who were to busy reading to notice the break lights coming on or people getting pissed off and just following to close.

He might as well have a bumper sticker that says "PLEASE TAILGATE ME!"

anonymousryan July 11, 2011 at 6:40 pm

Man, Xzibit and the guys at West Coast Customs have really taken a strange direction on this season of Pimp My Ride.

BarackMyWorld July 11, 2011 at 7:02 pm

Yo, dawg, we heard you like to write right-wing nonsense…

rocktonsam July 11, 2011 at 7:05 pm

YOUR PLATES ARE EXPIRED GENIUS,PROBABLY.

simplyblue7 July 11, 2011 at 8:13 pm

It gets a little hardcore gay at the end with the whole "weiner, uncircumcised, hard on for America/God" The man is clearly a power bottom.

BTWBFDIMHO July 11, 2011 at 8:17 pm

Have you seen those Pakistani or Guatemalan buses? This trailer is like those buses, but without any imagination.

zhubajie July 11, 2011 at 10:22 pm

Palestinian buses are pretty cool, too. I used to want one of those big ALLAH stickers in my back window, back when I have a car and being islamica was sort of OK.

BaldarTFlagass July 12, 2011 at 8:49 am

Afghan jingle trucks, FTW!
http://www.longwarjournal.org/photos/images/Afgh-

Filipino jeepneys rock the ridiculous pretty good too.
http://www.bobbyrica.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/

iburl July 11, 2011 at 8:35 pm

People laughed at Ayn Rand too. And for much the same reasons.

C_R_Eature July 11, 2011 at 9:18 pm

You just know that this guy dreams every night of a half-Naked platoon of Marines cavorting onstage to "It's Raining Men" & wakes up with a raging Woodrow.

zhubajie July 11, 2011 at 10:23 pm

Is it Gannon or Guckert or whatever his name was, in retirement?

tessiee July 11, 2011 at 10:58 pm

I see that Tonya Harding has been busy these days.

HolyCow!! July 11, 2011 at 11:22 pm

When I get to hell, I'm going to do a three-way with Obama and Satan!

tessiee July 11, 2011 at 11:35 pm

"Mission Accomplished" was Bush, not Obama.
Is this guy stupid or something?

C_R_Eature July 11, 2011 at 11:47 pm

Well, now THERE'S a question that answer's itself!

C_R_Eature July 12, 2011 at 12:09 am

"But of Course!" (in nasal Clouseau voice)

Doktor Zoom July 11, 2011 at 11:49 pm

Huh. Who knew that this guy had a campaign committee in Oregon?

Negropolis July 12, 2011 at 4:20 am

Surely, this is a man of Almighty God.

The best – the VERY best – line of this is "Love Not Hate." Irony just had a massive stroke as it heard this one.

Monkeys | typewriter | Shakespeare QED

lochnessmonster July 12, 2011 at 6:47 am

I couldn't finish reading it…thanks to you though so I didn't have to.

outragedcitizen July 12, 2011 at 7:48 am

Somebody is just begging to have his trashy trailer painted pink.

comrad_darkness July 12, 2011 at 9:07 am

He's just saying that black presidents were better off under slavery.

EBGrey July 12, 2011 at 9:09 am

Atlass Buggered?

dyedwool July 12, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Hold on a sec…I can't find the preamble.

Dr_pangloss July 13, 2011 at 6:52 am

Quote the Bard. "I think the Lady doth protest to much."

ttommyunger July 15, 2011 at 10:09 am

Please don't tell me this ignorant fuckwad can qualify for a Driver's License.

keepintime1592 July 16, 2011 at 9:58 am

Someone PLEASE tell me this isn't real. Freaktards like this are why the POTUS can't even visit the crapper without a Secret Service escort. If the outside is this scarey, just imagine what the INSIDE must look like! Probably gots an altar and some holy statues and stained glass and stuff. Oh, and wine. LOTS of wine. Or really really cheap beer. Pathetic doof.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 19, 2011 at 11:35 pm

The side of this marvel is equally fabulous: http://www.eatliver.com/img/2011/7024.jpg

Driver is fueling his rage at B.K. — "you want flies with that shit?"

mrblifil July 22, 2011 at 9:18 am

It's like the Ted Kaczinski Manifesto Road Show.

Geminisunmars July 11, 2011 at 5:45 pm

Was there a trailer out in the parking lot with Oregon Plates and lots of "queer" writing on it?

Wow. That sounds like a bizarre incident. But, at the risk of sounding all blame-the-victimy – what ever were you doing at Walmart?

sati_demise July 11, 2011 at 5:52 pm

I have not stepped foot in a Wal Mart in over 25 years. just sayin' You can get all the same shit in other stores. I bet you can even get cheap cigs from the Natives

Doktor Zoom July 11, 2011 at 5:57 pm

"My friends are voting for me to have him arrested. I am voting for him to lose his job."

Honestly, why argue? If he's arrested for assault, he'll lose his job. Win-win!

tessiee July 11, 2011 at 11:17 pm

"Stopped by Wal Mart, paid for my propane gas tank refill, asked for a pack of Marlboro and the cashier couldn't find them. They were past the register and beyond the bagging area, so he can't say he feared for my snatching money out of the till that wasn't opened. … I pointed to what he was looking for and he spun around, lunged forward, smacked my hand out of the air and snarled "RELAX"

Jeez, I'm happy as hell you didn't ask him to let you deposit a check.

Barb July 11, 2011 at 5:57 pm

Husband works for the Natives, you are correct that they are cheaper. he's still on vacation until tomorrow. We took 10 days off to renew our marriage vows after four years and take another honeymoon.

I'm never going back to Wal mart! I really needed that gas for my grill. I fear driving around with those canisters in my car. I just imagine my Genesis Turbo Coupe turning into a Ford Pinto if I get dinged from behind.

Doktor Zoom July 11, 2011 at 6:00 pm

In this one, does Lionel have a trailer caravan with insane rants about Obama Churchill scrawled all over it?

Barrelhse July 11, 2011 at 6:01 pm

"Babes in Khaki"

zhubajie July 11, 2011 at 10:15 pm

Something like the Flashman series, but WW II era?

BaldarTFlagass July 11, 2011 at 6:11 pm

I fuckin' hate pikeys.

ShaveTheWhales July 11, 2011 at 6:23 pm

Isn't it rich?

Limeylizzie July 11, 2011 at 6:31 pm

Barb, we can sneak a fag together, it'll be like high school.

Barb July 11, 2011 at 6:56 pm

Are we wearing plaid skirts, crisply starched white blouses and knee socks?

Tundra Grifter July 11, 2011 at 10:18 pm

And then you girls can sneak off and have a cigarette.

Geminisunmars July 11, 2011 at 6:59 pm

You know what you are doing to all the (straight) guys here, don't you?

Limeylizzie July 11, 2011 at 7:19 pm

Of course we are!

Chet Kincaid July 11, 2011 at 8:35 pm

Send in the ass-clowns.

zhubajie July 11, 2011 at 10:20 pm

My Secret Life, the Gay version!

Negropolis July 12, 2011 at 4:28 am

There's always a sale at Penney's. Penney's is one giant, continuous sale.

Doktor Zoom July 12, 2011 at 7:47 pm

…and so is my wife.

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