“Y2K Redux TEXUS 4 PREZ” should be your Twitter journalizm headline any day now, according to People Who Know Things. “Sources say” Rick Perry will likely announce his candidacy within the next few weeks. A Google search on Perry’s name has auto-fill “Rick Perry gay” still holding steady at the number three spot, so there’s probably some comedy to look forward to there? No one is very surprised by this news, mostly because Perry recently fled Sanford-style to go suck Koch at a private summit in Colorado. And the green light from the Kochs is basically like the Michele Bachmann green light from God in terms of permission from the higher powers. So who will win, God or the Kochs?Â
MEANWHILE, Texas executed a Mexican national convicted of a 1994 rape and murder over the protests of the White House, the Mexican government and the International Court of Justice.
From the Guardian:
On Thursday evening, the state of Texas strapped Humberto Leah Garcia Jr., a Mexican citizen, to a gurney in a government facility and poisoned him for the crime of raping and killing a teenager in 1994. Leal’s sentence was carried out with the full knowledge and permission of Governor Rick Perry, a Republican who reportedly harbours presidential ambitions and may announce a run for 2012 at any time, and the US supreme court – but over the objections of the Mexican government, the Obama administration and the International Court of Justice, which ruled in 2004 that the US violated the Vienna Convention when it didn’t inform Leal and 51 other Mexican citizens of their consular rights, post arrest.
But in America in 2011, agreeing to delay (let alone halt) the execution would have caused Perry political problems – and allowing the state to carry out the most final punishment has zero downsides for an ambitious politician.
Yeah, why let all those people spoil Rick Perry’s party and his chance to boost his public image with the killing of a brown? “This is just the start,” Rick Perry probably said. [Reuters/Guardian]
{ 186 comments }
Them Vienna folks are a bunch of ferners, we got our merkan killin' to do!
If Perry is the preznit of the US, where will he secede from?
from reality?
That was already accomplished a long time ago.
Humanity. It's been a long time coming.
He is Texan, that is implied.
Civilization.
Y'all better start growing a tree in your yards, 'cause that's where we're going back to. Flinging poo, eating, sleeping, and fucking, monkey-style.
Yahoo!
His closet?
Once he's president, living in Washington, away from the prying, fundie eyes of the Republic, he'll have his position secure. Can't take President away from him (for being gay).
America's second (at least) gay president.
Perry didn't try to bring the convicted man to Jesus before he personally flipped the switch?
I'm hoping that the Evangelist-on-Catholic violence here will help spur a Northern Ireland-style religious melee free-for-all. Only diff is Texans are WAY bigger and whiter than their potato-eating unamerican forefathers.
Better armed, too?
He did pray to God for a revelation that the guy was innocent.
God didn't object, so what's a good Christian to do?
If there's a difference between Perry and God, don't tell Perry because he doesn't know it. He and God agree on everything, especially when it comes to killin'.
Vote treason 2012!
Hell, them Messicans ain't so tough… In fact, they taste jes like chicken… So ya'll come on down an pay us a visit real soon, y'hear? An we'll show you what a real barbecue is all about!
Hair today, gone tomorrow?
I thought it was "Hare today, gone tomorrow."
Herr Today, Goon tomorrow.
Only if you're a little bunny Foo-Foo, hopping in the meadow.
Fuck, you've unmasked me.
Dear Mexico,
You have our permission to invade Texas.
Just Texas, well may be Mississippi also.
Just wait until after the 24th, I have to change planes at DFW.
PS. You can have Oklahoma too.
And if you act now, we'll throw in the Gadsden Purchase for just the shipping and handling fee!
No, seriously, Mexico: pleeze take Arizona too. It's a perfect match for the Sonoran Desert that's already mostly in Mexico anyway. And say hi to Jan when you see her.
And while you're at it, you can have Riverside and Orange counties in Cali as well. What the hell, they *said* they wanted to secede.
But not San Diego. San Diego is salvageable.
Yay! I get to be part of mexico! Where the brown boys at?!
You are in Socal, they are already there.
Nope, not enough. The spice must flow!
Unrelated, I really want some of your namesake for breakfast. That is all.
I'd say pretty much any state that touches the Gulf that bears Mexico's name, and any state that also borders one of those states, just to be safe.
Do we need to think about a course of chemotherapy? I'm pretty sure there's been significant metastasis. I've seen evidence of it around Capitol Hill.
Getting a clean margin won't be easy, might be necessary to kill the host in order to stop the cancer.
Mexico already had Texas, once, and they let them go. They were too antiquated even then for the Mexicans.
"So who will win, God or the Kochs? "
Either way, we (sane people) lose.
The last Texas governor elected Preznit worked out so well.
LBJ?
Was Dubya's Indian name "Little Blow Job"?
All of them, C_T!
Oops, now I get it. Should have used the phrase, "installed in the White House." How quickly we (the oldz, that is) forget.
oh that's ok. I just figured you learned it in a texas schoolbook.
So it should really say "the last fake-cowboy non-Texan installed in the White House worked out so well."
You'd think the mere idea would send the electorate into screaming fits, but no. All those strokes they have down there in the Stroke Belt apparently done affected their memory something turrible.
"Death Penalty" new fave cocktail served at all the best repub get-togethers.
What's in a Death Penalty? My guess is a helluva lot of tomato juice and maraschino cherries.
Sodium pentothol, pavulon, potassium chloride and grape Kool Aid (we hope)
That doesn't sound very tasty, at all. Well, save for the grape Kool Aid.
Killing A Mexican–worst Cure song ever.
Rick Perry/Death 2012!
YOO-ESS-EIGH YOO-ESS-EIGH YOO-ESS-EIGH
Sounds kind of Canadian: U.S., eh?
OR Mexican: You, Esse.
Well played.
It took the worst wildfires in its history and a severe drought crisis to cause the federal government to declare the entire state of Texas a disaster area?
Texas is so fucked-up that mega-cataclysms merely tip the balance into "disaster" territory.
It will be interesting to see him run on his "record."
Record = "I SHOT ME A VARMINT!"
Record = "I screwed the poorz."
Record? We don' need no stinkin' record? (We make shit up, remember?)
Maybe the fire danger in Florida and Texas would abate if they didn't let the biggest flaming asshole from each of those states return home.
The ass-to-mouthpieces at Föx are abuzz because Garcia said "Vive Mexico" before his demise.
That is all.
ah yes, because only americans can love their country.
No, because America is the only country *worth* loving. Just ask Newt Gingrich.
Well, at least until it get's cancer.
There's that, but Newt has a solution: that's when you cheat on her. Or divorce her right after the surgery, I forget which.
(I'm making a bunch of hand gestures doing this) "It's about damn time (gunshots) some motherfucker (gunshots) with some testikulae (gunshots) tell No-Bama he's full of shit!!!!1!!!" (I'm making a bunch of other hand gestures and moving around like the Messican I just electrocuted.)
Take it down to the local open-mic Comedy Club.
Video or STFU!
So if individual states can ignore international agreements signed by a US President, we might as well break up the union and split into 50 fully-fledged states, no?
No. Just dump Texas.
OK maybe Misissippi and Alabama too.
Alright. Georgia and South Carolina can go as well.
You forgot Arizona.
President Perry will be fully behind that position.
If Perry becomes Prezdint, we'll ALL be bent over in the "fully behind" position.
All international treaties should have an asterisk next to the U.S. President's signature:
*except for the fuckwads in Texas.
Wait till the Tea Party folks figure out he is Tyler Perry's brother.
Katy Perry's much older brother?
That's Perry Libel!
Worse, still: imagine Rick in Katy's Daisy Dukes.
& on roller-skates. Selling "oranges" to passing motorists.
Argh – damn you! You're ruining Katy Perry's Daisy Dukes. Why do you hate America?
He got his hair out of Luke Perry's garbage.
Oh boy, another born-again dipshit to scare the fuck out of sane people and suck votes from republicans!
Our continued use of
human sacrificecapital punishment puts us in good company:As of 05 May 2011 executions have been reported in Bangladesh, China, Iran, North Korea, the Palestinian Authority, Saudi Arabia, Somalia, UAE, USA.
And would whoever is downfisting this comment please have the courage to explain in a reply what the purported societal benefits (beyond victim-family therapy) of killing criminals may be?
You forgot Poland!!
Oh, wait, no you didn't.
The U.S. has apparently turned into a Muslim-Communist country. I guess we owe Glenn Beck an apology.
"what the purported societal benefits (beyond victim-family therapy) of killing criminals may be?"
It's to make Texas governors feel all macho and shit.
Besides, killing possibly innocent people gives them something to giggle about:
""Please," Bush whimpers, his lips pursed in mock desperation, "don't kill me."…"
"And would whoever is downfisting this comment please have the courage to explain in a reply what the purported societal benefits (beyond victim-family therapy) of killing criminals may be?"
Winning the trailer-trash, teabagger, racist, fascist-Xtian, and goober votes, for starters. In Texas, that gets you elected.
At least we don't torture criminals…oh wait.
It makes our nutz Texas-sized, duh.
Victim-family therapy is good enough for me.
And another thing – when you rape a child, bash her head in with a rock and shove a big piece of wood in her vagina, then there's another benefit no one talks about – and that is, I don't have to get a big fat migraine headache thinking about the perpetrator still breathing.
Your blood-thirstiness is laudable. But the question was what *societal* benefit (not SaintRond benefit) *besides* victim family therapy comes from government-sanctioned snuffing of criminals. And we agree: there is none.
He killed a kid. What's your problem with killing him? Are you afraid of the man upstairs? What is it that makes this child murderer stand out from the 50,000 kids who die every day from hunger and disease, who die from collateral damage caused by an unjust economic system? What makes this child murderer stand out from environmental degradation, loss of habitat, species disappearing? What makes this rapist and murderer of children make you feel empathy? What? Is locking someone in a filthy cage for their entire lives somehow kinder? I'm sorry, but I don't get it.
Well let's try this a different way then: When the state kills people not out of self-defense, it elevates murder. I say the government (we the people, remember) ought to leave killing for the criminals to do, while we strive to set a better example for our children. And yes, locking someone up for life is less cruel than executing them for the simple reason that a surprising number are found to have been wrongfully convicted.
And we can't release the ones we've already killed.
Fuck it. It's over and he's dead. All we care about now is what he had for dinner. Was it a cheeseburger? A bacon cheeseburger, perchance? Fried chicken with all the fixins? Sweet iced tea and six fried eggs? A salad? Hush puppies? Fried shrimp? A po'boy? Chicken a'la king? Fried okra? A big bowl of chili? Fish sticks? A hot dog perhaps? A tiny wafer thin mint?
Remember, Wonkette! Give the peoples what they want and not what you think they want!!!
Maybe something like this.
More like this – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Dog_meat.jpg
Little ham hocks?
I'd have all the bean burritos I could eat, just to make a splash when my sphincter dies.
Cause he's done such a great job with Tejas…
rick perry, the candidate for the discriminating voter.
Killing prisoners is one of the many things the citizens of this country can be proud–others are using cluster bombs in Yemen, slaughtering wedding parties in Afghanistan and refining methods of torture used on goatherds sold to the CIA by the Pakistani army.
Don't forget Lady Gaga!
"Celebrates By Killing A Mexican"
I sure wish Perry could have killed the Senora at that Taco Wagon in Mexico, who served this Gringo up a Burrito de Barbacoa con Mierda…
I kind of wish Perry would be run over by a Taco Wagon.
I kind of wish he thought he was a Taco Wagon.
Thank you for this attempt to talk me out of my plan to leave the country, Kirsten.
USA! USA! USA!
~
Wow a tough on crime pro execution Governor from Texas, sounds like a winning resume to me. And single as well I'm sure he is popular with the ladies.
So not to gossip, but I had it confirmed recently by someone who would know, that Rick indeed has "teh ghey".
A Perry/Bachmann 2012 ticket suddenly gets very interesting indeed…
"Now Marcus, I know a wife should be subservient to her husband dontcha know, but I don't want to have to tell you again: leave Rick alone!"
♫ ♬. Party in the White House,
Party in the White House ♫ ♬
Please pass this information along to our friends at towleroad.
No, tell them to sit on it. If there is proof, better to wait until after the primaries so that if Perry wins (or gets picked for VP) it can be released after he's officially the candidate.
I rather hope that the vengeful ghost of Molly Ivins will visit him. Not really haunting him or anything, just knocking shit over in the governor's mansion and chuckling a lot.
Can she team up with the vengeful ghost of Ann Richards?
While I don't actually believe in an afterlife, if there is one, I'd like to think that the two of them are having a fine ol' eternity laughing, swearing, and pantsing the ghost of Jesse Helms.
Perry is a devout adherent to the classic Christian virtue of Mercilessness.
And hypocrisy.
I encourage Governor Perry to go to Messico and look at a federale wrong. Because, I'm sure they'd be pleased to introduce him to Texas-style justice without a call to the consulate or a lawyer or his pool boy.
A Google search on Perry’s name has auto-fill “Rick Perry gay” still holding steady at the number three spot
Well, I have my work cut out for me now: every chance I get I will have to click on all of the links on Rick Perry gay, to try to bump it up to #1. Let's do the damn thing!
Why do people who hate America want to be its president? Why?
Nothing that a few drone strikes could not clear up.
I encourage Rick Perry to do anything that gets him the hell out of the state. If he were to resign that would be the icing on the cake.
I fully understand your need to get rid of that thing, but don't pass that bag of salted monkey manure on to the rest of us! Mercy! Please have mercy!
I get mad just thinking of Perry. I know America has lost it's damned mind, lately, but I'd be surprised if they are crazy enough to elect another conservative, Texas governor who is, in fact, a devolved form of Bush. Perry's a caveman; hell, he even looks like one.
WTF?
Agreed. Deleted.
~
That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that "Ogle Rick Perry for president" is a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.
Why is it that upon hearing this news concerning the makeup of the Republican field, I find myself involuntarily mouthing, "six ways to Sunday"?
America, however, will gladly vote for that Generic (R) guy.
As someone who was born and raised in Austin, I can assure you America that you don't want Rick Perry as President. It would be fun watching the Perry/Bachmann show, but I treat them as a major threat. His goal has nothing to do with solving any of the country's problems.
His lack of leadership and the $15-21 billion in debt that resulted in $4 billion reduction in education and laying off of thousands of teachers should be a repeated theme when he runs.
As of today, US America has no way of getting a man into space. We now live in a country where smart is suspect, where stupid deserves representation, too. Hence, WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING TEACHERS!
Perry, all hat and no cattle.
I saw that closet-case in Oil Can Harry's several times.
Firestarter.
I eagerly await the finger wagging 'I did not have sexual relations with that man' press conference. (Could also apply to Marcus Bachmann and maybe T-Paw–he doesn't exactly ooze the testosterone.)
And Lord knows, if you're not a thick-necked, SUV-driving, football-watching, Buffalo-wing-gobbling macho man, you must be gay.
Pretty much in Tejas. I PRAY that some man comes forward saying he had sex with Rick. Then the conservatards who love him so much will have to decide what's more important: the stupid RW platitudes he spews from his mouth or what he puts IN his mouth.
(And seriously, have you SEEN Marcus Bachmann lately?)
Rick Perry can suck my dick. Eat it all, you racist piece of shit.
I got nothing, just rage. Forgive me.
BTW, I like how the Guardian described Humberto Leah Garcia's death. No sugar-coating, just straight-up reporting what exactly goes on in one of these state killings.
I have to disagree with their second paragraph, though. Even in 2011, delaying capital punishment has actually not been as politically damaging as some may think, even for Republican govs, as we find out more and more the problems with this penalty. In fact, even in Texas, it seems that you might be able to win more support for delaying or cancelling an execution than you would whole-heartedly supporting it. I think the international press (particularly the British press) often misses American cultural nuances as it doesn't always square with their narrative of America as some third-world banana republic.
Still, it would help if we'd refrain from acting like some third-world banana republic more often.
RIP Betty.
Your move, Nancy.
You're bad. You're real bad.
Hey Roslynn
Tell me where you've been
(I love her, but this is about the spread, right?)
From the Texas death chamber Thursday evening, Leal, 38, took responsibility for the slaying, asked for forgiveness and wrapped up his comments by twice shouting: "Viva Mexico!"
Ugh. Rick Perry. Ugh. I wonder what he would shout if he took responsibility for his actions and asked forgiveness.
" I wonder what he would shout if he took responsibility for his actions and asked forgiveness."
Uh, "Viva Perry"?
"Viva Viagra"?
and
"Forgiveness? We don't need no stinkin' forgiveness!!"
Sure, because why not. Things went so well the last time a Texas Governor was
Preznit. Where's Ann Richards when you need her?
OT, but…
Michigan man accused of having sex with horse
We're becoming Georgia more and more by the day.
To be fair, the mare was just asking for it. I
I know, right? What, wiith all her shiny coat, and wet nose, and freshly coiffed mane and tail.
She was a common whorse.
Great closing sentence in the LSJ article:
Read more on this story in Saturday's Lansing State Journal.
What more can there be on this story and why would anyone want to read it?
LOL! Read the rest of the story, and there was actually something left out worthy of note: There is a video of this! lol
Coming soon, Equineporn.com: All horsefucking, all the time.
Why is this OT?
When the mare says "Neigh" it means "Neigh".
No coyotes in DC. What's he gonna shoot with his great big gun if he moves there?
Ham Biscuits.
Girl, you call that teenzy li'l gherkin a "great big gun"? We gonna show that boy some big-ass guns, send him cryin' back to Tejas. That pinche cracker. (And I mean that in all the best possible ways
I hear there's lots of raccoons. You know, they're basically big brown rats feeding off the gov't largesse.
Perry-Ham Biscuits 2012. Balance the budget by selling all of the White House except one of the bigger closets.
OT, Betty Ford died. I liked her and will probably visit one of her clinics one day.
I think if you join the Smithsonian the card will get you a handsome discount when you go there.
Meh, I am still waiting for the Smithsonian to loan me the Hope diamond.
I was gonna say, the clinic is gonna cost you more than a Costco 12-pack o' hobo beans and a cardboard placard asking for the rent money for your pay-by-the-day living facilities.
Before there was "Just Say No," Betty was all like "Just Say Rehab." And then Amy was like "No, no, no." Now Michelle is like "Exercise and Eat Right."
Does Gay Parré even have a spouse?
You say it as if it were an aspiration of yours.
Kind of OT, but Gerry wrote a letter before he died which was to be released upon his death. It didn't get a whole lot of press, because it broke the cardinal rule of the president's club of not criticizing another president, but it was a hellish takedown of the Republican Party's bloodlust for unilateral war, particularly Iraq. Gerry would be considered downright liberal in his former House district in West Michigan, today.
Linky?
He, and she, were *gag* reasonable Repubs. Before Kevin Phillips (American Theocracy) prophecies of Oil, Religion and Debt. And the overarching "cut taxes on the rich" theme became predominant. Rove, Ailes, Cheney, and that dead guy, Lee Atwater were willing to play brinksmanship with American politics
/snark off/ /blah blah on/
The Perry announcement bothers me–not that he is a Cro-Magnon knuckledragger, since that fits right in with the GOP but because he is joining a crowded field of politicians who think that Obama can be beaten. It reminds me of the Democrats before the 1992 election when they were stepping all over each other to run against a sure loser, Bush I.
I could list a lot of things that I think Obama has screwed up and a bunch of issues that I disagree with him on. But I can't think of any issue that any of the Repubs get right–they from laughably incompetent to truly evil–and therefore will be making phone calls or ringing doorbells or doing whatever else is available when the actual campaign starts to get him re-elected.
But like 1992 the real issue will be "It's the economy, stupid," and that looks worse all the time.
America is stupid . Perry will probably be President.
We are fucked.
It reminds me of the Democrats before the 1992 election when they were stepping all over each other to run against a sure loser, Bush I.
Wait….what???
Yeah, that's definitely not how I remember it. I'm especially thinking of Bill Bradley's massive wuss-out. Basically Clinton was the only one with the balls to challenge pre-Shrub, and as we all know Bill Clinton's balls were both a blessing and a curse.
And as for all the wingnuts believing they can take down the prez, that's what happens when your only source of information is Murdoch Propaganda, Inc.
The first sign Bush was vulnerable didn't come until Pat Buchanan kept him to under 80% of the vote in the 1992 New Hampshire Republican primary. Bush's post-Persian Gulf War popularity, and other factors (like how Al Gore's son had just been in that car accident and Gore actually put his family first), kept a lot of the "big names" out of the race. For example, Mario Cuomo kept floating his name but never getting in and Lloyd Bentsen declared he was too old to be president.
Then by all means, let Kucinich run.
Show that big bad Obama who's boss.
The actual declared candidates (a whopping total of 6) were mostly considered second stringers, leading to Ross Perot getting into the race. Doug Wilder dropped out before the first primary. Jerry Brown still had a bad reputation at that point and hadn't held an office in almost a decade. Tsongas, an early frontrunner in the primaries, hadn't held an office himself since 1984, and there were serious concerns about his health (he died of cancer before he'd have finished his first erm if he'd been elected). Bob Kerrey (war hero, governor, senator) looked fantastic on paper, but was a terrible campaigner. Harkin was not well known outside his home state, and only contribution ended up being keeping everyone from getting into the Iowa caucuses. Bill Clinton didn't declare until October of 1991, and no one even gave him much of a chance until Perot dropped out in June.
Generally I am not one to let documented facts get in the way of skewed memories that prove a point regarding a current issue.
But since what I recall is so at odds with the facts, I will just stick with "Fuck Rick Perry and the horse he rode in on".
Thanks for the corrections, especially their temperate tone and upfists or all who responded, otherwise lost in the comment undergrowth of a Wonkette weekend.
Bush Clone
Neocon Rick Perry
status quo establishment
The red/blue party is in pure chaos,
they can't find anyone that will beat Dr Ron,
so they keep rolling out new puppets every few days …
I'll bet Sarah Palin still thinks she can make him quit boys. Women are stupid that way. Perry/Bachmann-not gonna happen. Perry/Palin-I've been calling that for years, ever since I saw them together at a campaign function when she was running with Walnuts. Perry is Todd with political aspirations and better hair. I firmly believe this will happen.
Perry, the most blood on his hands of any governor in the history of the USA. Foreigners, retards, innocent people, in whatever combination, he kills them all.
Shoot, don't know why anyone is surprised we'd execute a brown foreigner. We execute women, the mentally deficient and innocent folks (see Willingham, Todd).
I absolutely loved his voice when I was a teenager. Oh, wait. Wrong Perry.
Hey, it worked for Bill Clinton. Hell, for that matter it worked for George W. I guess Americans are by nature an extremely bloodthirsty lot. Maybe that's why I like True Blood?
I think you need to turn those names around. Texas (and Dubya by extension) is the unabashed leader of killing their own.
""to carry out the most final punishment has zero downsides for an ambitious politician."
Um, WTF?????
I think they tend to forget that there are many states without the death penalty, many states that still have it that haven't carried any out since the 70's, a bigger movement than ever before to get more states to abolish the practice, and a Catholic plurality in a helluva lot of states that are vehemently against the practice.
One of the biggest lies in this country is that we are enamored with the practice, when in practice, less than a handful of states carry out the vast majority of executions (Texas, Florida, and California, in particular). If anything, capital punishment advocates are the ones on the defensive, now.
On the other hand, if it were rephrased as "zero downsides for an ambitious politician in Republican primaries," it would be accurate.
Perry, running for the sedition party, no doubt…
"Leal’s sentence was carried out with the full knowledge and permission of Governor Rick Perry, a Republican who reportedly harbours presidential ambitions and may announce a run for 2012 at any time, and the US supreme court…"
Perry is running for Supreme Court? Someone at The Guardian needs to get his or her stuff reviewed by a native English speaking person.
"Fuck Rick Perry and the horse he rode in on".
Now there's something we can all agree on.
Agreed.
You can never go wrong with "Fuck Rick Perry and the horse he rode in on".
Nothing teachs that killing is wrong like the State executing a citizen for having committed the sin of killing someone else. Whats so hard to understand? "do as I say, not as I do" is a time-honored parenting concept. Of course, that kind of makes the US a nanny state! OMG!
Comments on this entry are closed.