Sex advice columnist Bristol Palin continues to roam the lower 48 doling out her witty repartee and shilling copies of her college entry essay (just kidding) to thousands of borderline-illiterate consumers who keep asking her when they can see the free teevee version instead. Who will get to play Bristol? We pick, uh, Matt Damon? He’s good. So where is Bristol headed now, because WE NEED TO KNOW. Oh fine, she is headed to a Texas Walmart in small town Fredericksburg, population 11,305.
There she’ll join other shoppers to build a little altar to the Chinese manufacturing gods and say a few prayers asking Chinese workers not to start wanting to get paid too much. Then she’ll sell books.
Um, let’s see, what else can we say about this? Very little! Bristol’s Mall of America appearance was a spectacular flop even with Mother Grifter showing up to participate, so let’s hope that this means the Palins will just become some kind of strange specialty sale item that turns up in the Walmart discount bins in small southern towns FROM NOW ON. It’s not a lot to ask.
The local paper put the announcement about the signing on its Facebook wall, which generated “lots” of excitement:
Yeah, so, everybody enjoy that. [Facebook; thanks to Wonkette Operative “A Finlayson”]