Semi-Liveblogging The Obama Twitter Town Hall Thing

So whatever this “Twitter town hall” thing is that Obama is doing, we do not like it. We mostly blame CNN for this weird “ask the Internets” fad going around. Whatever, so here is Jonah Goldberg asking his important question to Obama, which is like most of the questions floating around on Twitter today with the #AskObama hashtag, because it is dumb and rhetorical. What would YOU ask Obama that you do not really care to have him answer? Nothing, you are probably at work, being yelled at by your boss. Why is this thing in the middle of the day again? Oh well, here goes:

3:17 – TIME TO GO BACK TO WORK. Just remember, none of this was as entertaining as an #AskWalnuts town hall would have been.

3:10 – OOPS It’s already over. Oh well, this Obama person, he is very boring and sane. Time to see what Newt Gingrich is doing.

3:04 – Everyone on Twitter likes this last line. Way to go, Obama, it took you an hour into your Town Hall to generate one soundbite everyone likes. Michele Bachmann will kill you at this.

3:01 – “You are entitled to your own opinions, but not your own facts.” Now that is a campaign slogan.

3:00 – Uh, so the last two questions have not been questions. Interrogatives got too challenging for America during the lunch break.

2:56  - Here is what conservative pundit and weepy cat lady K-Lo has to say about this entire thing: “‘curator’ makes twitter sound much more refined than it is. also a little wannabe.” THAT IS ALL.

2:48 – JUST KIDDING. We do not know what the top question is. That one is the best question, though. “Shrift.” Obama said the word, “shrift.” This is like a vocabulary test, over lunch. What does shrift mean? Shrift shrift shrift shrift. It sounds like a word for when Michele Bachmann dresses up in her Sarah Palin costume at night and kisses herself in the mirror.

2:46 – Top #AskObama question on Twitter: why hasn’t Obama used his executive authority to pardon Lindsay Lohan?

2:43 – WHY HAS OBAMA NOT TAKEN A SARAH PALIN QUESTION YET.

2:39 – The pot legalization lobby is totally offended that Obama took a John Boner question, but he will not take their questions.

2:36 – Staring at Obama’s tie, looking for shapes. Does anyone remember those things, the Magic Eyes? They never really worked for us. Remember when everyone gave each other Magic Eye books for birthday presents, and then everyone looked at them together and it was the worst feeling on earth to be the one kid who couldn’t tell what the picture is. Like that guy from Mall Rats.

2:32 – “Our air traffic control system does not make a lot of sense.” That one woke us up. What?

2:29 – BONER, just call him BONER, please please do it just once. We are slipping away.

2:25 – Thumb/index-finger pinch. Wait wait, were we supposed to be paying attention there? Haha, federal pay frozen for federal workers. The White House just paid out $37 million in salaries for its staffers, which is not enough to live in an igloo.

2:21 – HOOOOOOOO markets talk jobs wide shot Twitter man wide shot CHINA AND GERMANY hold on there, we heard something about the Axis of Evil. What about batteries? Are they putting American batteries in their robots?

2:18 – Obama to America: you are too dumb to understand the way that Congress authorizes the amount of debt, just believe me that it will cause complete apocalypse. Good economics lesson.

2:17 – RENEGADE NERD IS BLACK, OBAMA, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?

2:15 – Huh? Education czar Barack Obama decrees that college students will not have to pay more than 10% of their income for their student loans. Haha, we would like that deal. We would like to pay $5 a month in student loans.

2:13 – Are we trying to pay attention? No. We are trying to find out what Obama tweeted. WHAT DID HE TWEET.

2:09 – This man from Twitter, why is he sitting up so straight?

2:05 – Yeah, so now we are just watching Obama tweet something on live TV. He can barely figure it out. Chuck Grassley is laughing his ass off because he does this 184 times a day.

2:03 – This was supposed to start already. COME ON OBAMA.