It is the middle of a Wednesday, so our President wants to hang out on Twitter and connect with the Youths, who used to look to him, wide-eyed and full of that thing called “Hope.” Now that Hope has been murdered and buried at sea with bin Laden, it is important that Barack Obama remind everyone that he is the president of the Rebecca Black meme generation, because he can use a phone to write things, about how he is a cool dad or whatever. Today he is going to prove his Interwebz skillz to the next level, by holding a town hall meeting, on Twitter! Only he will not actually touch Twitter, because not so fast, America!
Barack Obama wants to answer your questions on Twitter, but he’s not going to, because that could be “dangerous.” When politicians use Twitter they are almost always ridiculed or forced to resign, because at any point, Twitter could just take a picture of your genitals, and you will never see it coming.
The White House and Twitter, which is co-hosting the Tweet-up, is taking measures to ensure there’s no chance Obama will fall prey to some of the Twitter mishaps that have ensnared the likes of Sarah Palin (who memorably and quite unintentionally coined the new word “refudiate” in one tweet) and former Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) who showed just how easily Twitter can get you into trouble by a simple slip of the mouse or misdirected twitpic.
In fact, the President won’t be actually tweeting at all so he won’t have to worry about those 140 character limits on his soundbites or knowing the right kind of hipster lingo and hashtags to thrown in. No, Obama will be responding verbally on a White House live video stream to questions sent in by Twitter users. Twitter will be responsible for vetting the questions and filtering inappropriate topics, as well as trying to keep the questions focused on the jobs and the economy.
How boring! A real Twitter town hall would include all the inappropriate things, and questions from cartoon characters and whoever else lives on Twitter. We will liveblog it anyway, if we can find enough alcohol in the middle of the afternoon. [TPMDC]
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This is a sad day for America, a day when the President will not be LOL'ing in response to stupid twitter questions.
With all the dumbz being filtered out, what are the chances that Obama will get a question to answer?
Who will be the first to sext Obama?
Some fool who does not know and fear Michelle.
I just did that.
Ok, who had Limeylizzie in the Wonkette office pool?
Weiner, of course. He just can't say no.
Pedobear haz a question!!!
~
Whatever it is the answer is YES!
Marcus. Is that you?
question #1: "is that pelosi chick dtf?"
Y R U such a pussy w/Boehner?
Geez Louise! If Obama is afraid he could look stupid on the twitter, I'm certainly not going to use it.
This is tweeting like my drawing Lassie with poop is a "fecal Collie form."
i would not mind a tweet of barry's undies with barry in them.
…always thinking of something to eat!
Surely Grassley can show him how it's done.
"if we can find enough alcohol in the middle of the afternoon."
Don't most liquor stores open at 10 AM? I happen to know that they do down here in Tejas. If this is not the case in your state, then FAIL.
Was that 140 characters?
Even in America's Dinghus™ the liquor stores are open. Of course, we really need them to be.
Here in the People's Republic of California, there hardly are any liquor stores anymore, and not just because pot is "legal." They sell liquor in the drugstores and grocery stores, but — to keep the public healthy and moral — not until 6:00 AM, as I found out one morning not long ago.
Oh, and welcome, Downfisting Troll! We've missed you.
I'm assuming Blair is based in DC or New York, so she should have no trouble finding a liquor store. Oh – maybe she can't find her fake ID.
We have a question from Lou Sarah.
John McCain is still trying to figure out how to get Punch Cards into the Twitter machine.
SarahPalinUSA asks: "Mr Prez how can u blood libel teh troops and stimlus is MARXISM and also T"
I feel super super dumb, but can someone explain the whole T. thing to me? I'm sure this is a meme that I completely missed, but being all of a single letter, there's no good way to find out what the deal is.
EDIT:
Oops, wrong linky.
http://wonkette.com/433989/sarah-palin-has-either...
At any point, Twitter could just take a picture of your genitals, and you will never see it coming.
So that's why all those high school girls' parents keep calling my wife to complain! What a great defense.
I, for one, cannot wait to hear what Obama thinks about Justine Bieber and the new Transformers movie.
He could ask for pointers from Chuck Grassley.
Like he got the Portuguese water dog from Teddy? Because, Bipartisanship!
@Barry Y U NO raise taxes on the wealthy?
Oh yeah, you are one.
Barry don't tweet. He twats.
i hope Grassly can ask a Q about Big Nrg in da W House.
Yeah, but he'll probably fuck it up and say "Big Ngr" instead, to the delight of Foxtards.
I'm going to expose myself in the park this afternoon and tell the cops it was a "slip of the mouse."
The good news? Hope is coming back.
The bad news? Hope is coming back as a flesh-eating zombie with a grudge.
Finally we'll learn how you're supposed to pronounce "#".
I propose the public tar and feathering for any person in public office or on the public airwaves using any form of the words "tweet" or "twitter". It may seem harsh, but it's not.
I second your motion and propose adding some form of electroshock to the punishment.
I propose adding some public humiliation from out of discarded history, such as being pelted with Pet Rocks, or having to sing Pac Man Fever into Mister Microphone.
The time for Twitter to go "Myspace" can't come soon enough…
But what are we supposed to do when random people keep signing up to follow you even though you've never posted a 140 missive in the first place?
It's tempting to Tweet when you have followers with little effort. . .ahhhh, I see, no wonder all these unqualified asshats keep running for the GOP POTUS nomination.
I think he learned a lesson about Twitter from Weiner. That lesson is: if you're going to tweet a pic of your dick, remove your underwear first. We salute you too, Mr. President.
Also, I wanted to share this with you guys… it's what I imagine I see every time I log onto wonkette lately: http://twitpic.com/5m527g
GET OUT OF MY BRAIN
Reaching out to the tweetesphere…."I've got a bad feeling about this." – Bolo the Ape on "The Mighty Boosh".
Yes Barry. Don't touch the Twitter.
Apparently all the House Republicans are Tweeting, what a stupid bunch of immature, pathetic, amoral, evil, mean-spirited, small-minded, hypocritical bastards.
But Lizzie, what do you really feel about Tweeting?
You forgot drunken, pederastic …
Somehow, this is good news for Chuck Grassley.
Twatting by the President. Another sign of the End Times.
I would like to ask him why he has not ordered Attorney General Eric Holder to invoke the RICO Act in regards to the on-going criminal conspiracy known as the Republican Party, but I know the GOP moles in the Twitter organization would not allow Barry to see that Tweet.
"Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) who showed just how easily Twitter can get you into trouble by a simple slip of the mouse or misdirected twitpic"
Yeah, i don't think a "simple slip of the mouse" is exactly what got Tony in trouble.
Mr. President, what is your position on Kortney and her vegetables?
Follow up, Mr. President: Has Michelle ever grown a cuke like Kortney's???
I'm sorry, I just can't get past Kortney and her vegetables…
KORTNEY! PLEASE BE MINE!!!
I used to look to him, wide-eyed and full of that thing called “Hope," until Sarah Palin did that clever little thing and turn it into a derisive phrase by adding that wasteful "y" she drops off of every other word she utters. "Hopey-Changey" magically makes you feel foolish as opposed to cut everything and live within your means.
Thank God it's only Twitter, or else we might be witnessing Obama "breaking level 60 in World of Warcraft LIVE", or something.
For Palin, reaching 140 character is like running a marathon. For Obama, being limited to 140 characters is an impediment.
Jobs, schmobs. Tweet us your dick!
Bravo, Blair. Your 2nd or 3rd non-FLOTUS post in as many days — this was full of funny. Good luck scoring some well-deserved beverage-of-choice..
A few more days of these "Local Moms" and I'm moving. I don't ever want to meet that on the street.
You were downfisted for that comment…by an offended local mom, I suppose. Just remember never to call them "Stay-at-Home Moms," the correct term is Housewife.
…gdnite &gd bls t untd sts o amrca.
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