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dildo alien probe pedobear tsa same thingTSA pat-downs have somehow become libertarian wingnuts’ favorite new “alien anal probe of death” conspiracy cause, which means they will march around and make demands, to the government, libertarians asking their government for things, and tell the dang government to go do something about it. The Florida Libertarian Party spent its July Fourth weekend writing a big frothing stack of letters to every sheriff in Florida demanding that police arrest TSA agents across the state on the grounds that they believe the pat-downs violate the Fourth Amendment, which is hilarious because we thought judges were in charge of declaring laws unconstitutional.

But no, we get it: wingnuts know to call the sheriff when there are alien anal probes to report, and this is pretty much like that. Or when sheriffs fail, there is always that old standard for anal probe protection, a vigilante pitchfork mob, in the airport.

Ron Paul thought a little harder about the whole thing, and he went a step further last week to call for the abolition of the entire TSA, because it is a torture training center where TSA agents test out Guantanamo techniques on air travel passengers.

From The Hill:

“The press reports are horrifying,” Paul said. “Ninety-five-year-old women humiliated, children molested, disabled people abused. Men and women subjected to unwarranted groping and touching of their most private areas, and involuntary radiation exposure.

“If the perpetrators were a gang of criminals, their headquarters would be raided by SWAT teams and armed federal agents,” he continued. “Unfortunately in this case, the perpetrators are armed federal agents.”

Ew. Well, whatever. We are still looking forward to watching Ron Paul conduct his campaign on horseback. [The Hill]

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