Are we still talking about the sex lives of former teenagers in Alaska during the Sexy Summer of ’08? Well then, Levi Johnston’s sister, Mercede Johnston, has a hot new blog review of Bristol’s teen vampire fiction, Not Afraid of Publicity. According to Levi’s sister, who knows all about what Bristol did that summer because duh, Levi, there are reasons to question Bristol’s heartbreaking account of being accidentally knocked up in a tent due to Levi being a sketch artist who knew the secret magical powers of Wine Coolers. This is important to American Politics, so let’s see where Mercede is going with it!
To recap, this Bristol Palin person was a teenager who got knocked up in the woods by her boyfriend, the guy she swore she was going to marry, because for inscrutable reasons John McCain picked this gal’s nutball mom to be the Republican vice presidential candidate in 2008, and now, many years later, this Bristol Palin is still somehow cashing in on being an unwed teen mom with literally no shame.
So Mercede — please don’t add an “s” to that name, because the Johnston kids all have singular versions of famous consumer brand names — writes some Wasilla hot gossip in her blog post, apparently because Bristol is claiming she was raped … by her longtime boyfriend, who she dated for years and went on National TeeVee to claim (after this alleged drunken date-tent rape) she was going to marry and love forever, until she got an agent. Oh who even knows, but Bristol Palin will somehow get another $250,000 chastity sponsorship out of all this.
One of the things that I remembered was that my much older cousin (he is in his 30’s) came up from the lower 48 to stay in our house while working with my father. We made him a bed in our downstairs living room which happened to be very close to my brother’s room. Apparently Bristol, the virgin, woke my cousin up several times with all of her …..well let’s just say “enthusiasm.” And by the way this was BEFORE that now notorious camping trip!
The next morning my cousin called my brother aside and had a talk with him. I think Levi was far more embarrassed than Bristol was because the next night she wasn’t any quieter.
And now you know … the rest of the story. Or not, who cares. [Mercede Johnston blog]