OH HEY, MITTENS. There he is, our weird stale friend Mitt Romney, hanging out in an empty field in front of an old, abandoned factory building. Is that the safest thing for a rich old white guy? No, but that is his campaign strategy! After cruising around the bombed-out parts of Detroit saying it was proof that the auto bailout was a total disaster for everybody, Romney is doing his production of “America is Terrible Part II” over in Pennsylvania, standing outside a shuttered factory where Obama once gave a stimulus speech in order to prove that factories everywhere hated Obama’s miserable stimulus dollars.
Predictably, the factory shutdown was not because of the stimulus, but Mittens just really wanted to stand in the same spot where Obama stood, just for a second, so he could also feel like president.
From the Washington Post:
Allentown Mayor Ed Pawlowski (D) said in an interview that Obama’s policies did not lead to the factory’s closure. The plant reportedly had longtime financial troubles.
“I don’t think Mitt Romney should be criticizing our community and this economy, because he has no clue why this plant closed — and it had nothing to do with President Obama,” Pawlowski said.
We are excited to see which terrifying place Mitt visits next and what Obama policy he blames for it. A trailer park full of children with rickets because of health care reform? A school full of illiterate seventh graders because of support for education funding? That would make an excellent third part for a “trilogy of doom.” [WaPo]
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Just you wait, Kirsten.
When Fudgey McSauron unleashes his Mormon Nazgûls of Doom, we'll see who is laughing.
Oh yes, we will, my preciousss!
~
NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!
During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the Romney came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!
There are not enough upfists in the universe.
Gollum was a fudge packer? Who knew?
One Underpants to rule them all.
One Underpants to find them.
One Underpants to bring them all,
And in the darkness bind them.
Argh. So much for my 88-p points. :(
He must be travelling by train, on the Dagney Taggert Special. He'll make Amtrak rip up its gummint socialist rails, for teh profitz.
Maybe Mitt's sons could join the Army and visit Afghanistan?
No, no, no. His sons are doing what the sons of gazillionaires do when they show their patriotism: work to help their egregious father get elected, so he doesn't quit paying their allowances.
Here's my favorite meme among the young Riches: those kids in the 'stan weren't drafted, and are getting paid, so they're really mercenaries.
Whereas when Tripp Van Geldentaschen III does his two years in the Peace Corps after Harvard on his way to a congressional staff job, he's a volunteer.
Can you see the difference?
Do you think Malaria and Shariah will enlist?
Gaetan dugas. Didn't you die, like, in 1984?
The spirit lives on…
No Poopyhead, the spittle lives on.
"Hey, let's go to the Romney rally – everybody's meeting at the Gates of Hell!"
Damn it! Now Billy Joel is going to have to write another song.
Mitt is visiting us in Allentown
And they've closed all the factories down
Out in Bethlehem they're killing time
Filling out forms
Standing in line.
Well our fathers fought the famous Cola War
Spent their weekends watching Jersey Shore
Met our mothers at the Cubs
Asked them to dance
Danced with them slow
And we're dying here in Allentown.
But the stimulus was handed down
And it's getting very hard to staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
aaaaaaah aaahhhhh ooooooooh ooooooh ohhhhhhh.
Well we're waiting here in Allentown
For the Pennsylvania we never found
For the promises our teachers gave
If we worked hard
If we gave head.
So the graduations hang on the wall
But Obama don't care at all
No they never taught us what was real
opium or coke,
Methamphetamine Deal(s).
And we're waiting here in Allentown.
But they've taken all the coal from the ground
And in New York they married the gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah aaaaaaaaaaah aaaaaah.
This is drastically better than the actual Billy Joel song.
Come to think of it, this is drastically better than any actual Billy Joel song.
Needz moar Elton John.
U6 Unemployment Rate 2007-2011
Say thank you to the nice Democrats who took over complete control of Congress on January 3, 2007.
You say thank you to the a**hat policies of GW Shrub. I love how conservatards can just willfully blind themselves to reality, history, and the momentum of political policies.
Come to to think of it… you know which other political faction willfully blinded itself to reality and history…?
In fairness, once you get one down, the other is easier.
"and the momentum of political policies. "
Yep, it took a while for the country to recover from the mess Clinton left…
Yeah, that quarter-trillon-dollar budget surplus Clinton left us was a real mess, all right. It enabled Shrub.
There was still plenty of federal debt when Clinton left office. The economy was in a recession, the tech bubble had burst, and the stock market was in a shambles.
Ah, so the last budget in office is what counts? Bush's last budget had a $165B deficit. Obama's first budget had 10 times that. How about applying the same slack that you give to Serial Rapist Clinton?
God, those days of high employment and budget surpluses–there's a nightmare we'll not soon relive! Oh, but the President lied about a blowjob, so that sort of makes the rest irrelevant.
Yeah, thank goodness *that* nightmare is finally over:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/bush-our-long-na…
Yea that budget surplus was prett shitty, good thing Dubya started all those wars and, corporate give aways and unfunded mandates to make sure we were back in the hole Reagan had dug us!
Corporate giveaways?
In 2003, federal revenues were about $1.8T. After four years of those horrible giveaways, federal revenues had risen to $2.5T – and the wealthy paid a larger share of the tax burden than before.
Speaking of corporate giveaways, consider the DWRRA of 1995 (Deep Water Royalty Relief Act) for which Clinton took a lot of credit. Basically the act gave oil companies over $100B in concessions to encourage them to drill in the Gulf of Mexico. The DWRRA contained ZERO safety or cleanup requirements. The BP well which leaked was there BECAUSE of the DWRRA.
"Yep, it took a while for the country to recover from the mess Clinton left… "
And yet, somehow, Obama hasn't been hobbled by having to clean up the mess Bush left, huh?
With this Noman Dugas guy, I'm reminded of the Far Side cartoon where there's a jolly idiot pushing a wheelbarrow through hell, and a demon to the side whispering to another demon, "We're just not reaching this guy."
Yes!!
Pretty impressive argument there Patient Zero. I'm convinced. Where do I go to change my party affiliation?
Let's see, what happened before 2007:
Massive Tax Cuts for the Wealthy? Check
Deregulation of the Financial Sector? Check.
Deregulation of the Home Finance Sector? Check.
Two Massive Wars? Check.
Yep, nothing the Republicans did in the previous 10 years matter at all. But you make a women speaker of the house, and a black man president, and they are to blame.
Of course, if this is your argument, I assume you want to go back to the Clinton Tax Increases and Spending? Who knew, Gaetan is a closet Socialist. Probably not the only closet he is in.
That's nice, Lionel.
But you could add 50 footnotes to each of those points, add in the giveaway to Big Pharma called Medicare Part D, and you still won't make an impact on trolly the keyboard warrior.
His mind was closed long ago.
~
"…trolly the keyboard warrior."
Indeed. Despite all the negatives he receives here (and elsewhere?), he still has a sizable p-ness. All his waking hours not spent trolling here must be spent fapping away on the Breitbart boards.
This is not someone with an actual life, you know, spouse, family, friends, kids, hobbies, job, the things that take us away from our keyboards on a fairly regular basis. Whether he does or doesn't have them, he is obviously one of the most miserable creatures around. I'd feel sorry for him, but he's so pointlessly nasty, he probably drove all those good things away, or abandoned them.
"Massive Tax Cuts for the Wealthy? Check"
In 2003 before the tax cuts were implemented, federal receipts were ~$1.78T.
After four years of those cuts, federal revenue had risen to ~$2.57T.
http://www.gpoaccess.gov/usbudget/fy09/pdf/hist.p…
I'm still waiting for my free grocery delivery you promised me the other day.
Fucking your mom was awesome, but it sucked to have to wait until you were done with her.
Hey thanks Republican asswipes who rob from our poor and elderly to protect their cushy tax breaks and corporate jets, all the while screaming "socialism, socialism" to their unwashed ignorant Teabilly base when www just try to extend benefits for the people your corporate overloads callously laid off so they could get that $30 million dollar bonus (taxpayer funded of course, it's not socialism when you give money to the rich?). Go ahead and keep voting against your best interests moron, keep voting the robber barons into office, but don't fucking come crying to us when you're on the streets after the Republicans finish our metamorphosis into a banana republic – we fucking warned you, I ain't sharing my hobo beans.
By that logic, the economy should have been terrible from 1955-1995.
Hey, brother-sucking cousin-fucker? Yeah, you over there with the lazy eye and dangerously sloped forehead and one arm decidedly shorter than the other. Unmanipulated facts or GTFO.
Hmm, but Mittens was on about businesses closing. Why do businesses close? I'd always thought it was about profits. And from that perspective, "Profits jumped 29.2% in 2010, the largest annual gain since 1948, reversing a 0.4% decline in 2009."
Thanks Obama!
But, oh noes, that's confusing! And selective use of individual measures of economic activity do not constitute reason or analysis. If blaming it all on one political party keeps you from going postal, carry on. Judging from your avatar, blaming is what you are all about.
In closing, because this is wonkette, I must rectify the seriousness of what I've just written by calling you a first class tosser.
I'm so relieved to hear that doubling consumer debt during the Bush decade due to the Wall Street deregulation credit bubble has absolutely nothing to with low consumer spending now.
When you say he's "spreading his message of doom" accompanied by a photo of him putting on a rubber glove, that's not good. Right?
Well now, that depends. Could be why trolly boy is so busy fapping away on this thread. You see doom, he sees looooove.
Mittens just really wanted to stand in the same spot where Obama stood, just for a second, so he could also feel
likepresident.I doubt whether Michelle would let you get away with copping a feel, Mittens.
~
Isn't that one of the factories Mittens wanted to go bankrupt?
Isn't that every factory?
No, only the ones that pay wages, because that's class warfare.
Yes, because, you see, if the factory goes bankrupt or moves overseas, that enriches the corporations, thus creating jobs.
We had to destroy the factory to save the factory.
Was that one of the factories his father built?
Those were all bailed out by the US government, before being bought by the French, before being bought by the Germans, before being sold to hedge funds, before being bailed out AGAIN by the US government, and then sold to the Italians.
USA! USA! USA! Or something.
Needs more santorum flavored fudge.
it's Friday afternoon of a three day holiday and, if you're anywhere near the fucking Dust Bowl, it's too damn hot to be outside. {She says after watering perennials and fruit trees/vines that threaten to die any minute and now has 104F heat stroke}.
I say, let 'er rip. You're among your wonkeratti friends and no one can afford to go anywhere, anyway, so we might as well kick the new kid aside and commandeer the "our" wonket for our own amusement. Happy Independence Day, losers.
Loser, indeed. I move that all commentators immediately change their avatar to that picture there of Kortney there enjoying her vegetable.
If I didn't know better, I'd say he has no dignity. Luckily I've been told otherwise, or I would be filled with doubt.
Mitt lost his dignity and soul somewhere in Boston Harbor sometime in the 90's. To this day, it's still missing.
How many guards from Xe are standing just out of the picture?
Xe? Nah. He uses the Mormon Secret Service. If you look hard you can see guys in holy underwear and dark glasses…
Those are the Underpants Gnomes.
All of them, Kt!
Oh, fuck, a troll? Remember, don't respond because it just encourages them. Maybe if I take back the "kick the new kid aside" quip Kristen will use the banhammer? Jim didn't take it with him, did he?
My favorite thing about trolly is that when he first showed up many moons ago he claimed to be a "liberal," but because he isn't funny or interesting all us cool kids ignored him. I guess now he's getting our attention.
"but because he isn't funny or interesting all us cool kids ignored him"
We're the cool kids?
All RIGHT!!
*struts*
"We're the cool kids?
All RIGHT!!
*struts*"
Yes, who knew, there was a reason to be grateful to the ol' butt pimple?
The trollz is sucking all the fun out of this blog – they've been here all day. Seriously, it is hammer time.
Yes, we must suppress dissent!
Poopyhead.
Priapismhead
I love a troll who can genuinely spell, yo bad boy.
I just got tearolled on the Glen Beck post. Gah. Can't have any fun around here.
unlike most other republicans I feel like if Mittens stopped being a politician he could almost be a human being
Nah, he's still a job-deleting Koch.
yeah you're probably right
Albeit, one made entirely of plastic and silicon.
Nah. Remember what he was before he was a politician? A "management consultant" dealing in violent corporate takeovers dismemberments. He was a dealer in organs, really. Taking a sick patient and harvesting what he considered it's valuable parts.
No, his default setting has ALWAYS been souless, amoral douchebot. Too bad he couldn't have been a bit more like his father.
Wonkette needs more Thaddeus McCotter coverage! Why are you libtards so afraid of one odious little turd?
I agree, just because of the bizarrely Dickensian name. More Thaddeus McCotter!
Isn't Thaddeus the guy who tells Bobby Brown that it's his prerogative?
"I am now picturing "
Fantasy is very important to libunatics. It helps rally their hatred for non-communists.
What exactly is it about the Mormons that the fundies find so distasteful? I've known a bunch of Mormons and found them, regardless of their politics, to be nice, hardworking, honest reliable people. I mean really, what is the big doctrinal problem?
They're just jealous that the other's religion is crazier than their own. Even. Or maybe magic panty envy.
Stone, Parker, and Lopez pretty much encapsulate it here, though to me it doesn't seem THAT much crazier than any other Magic Sky Friend stories.
I tend toward more of a Hasa Diga Eebowai approach to theology, myself.
Leaving out the Fundamentalists, many progressives and moderates object to the LDS's institutional fight against Gay equality, particularly in California. Others object to the theocracy the Church has establish in Utah.
Regarding the Fundamentalists and considering their literally Bible-based theology, I'd be surprised if they, generally, did not oppose a belief system so far out of the Protestant Christian mainstream (as if they are not). Which raises the question whether Mormons are Christians at all.
Such a broad question with so many faith-based nuances on both sides would be the subject of several books. IMHO
I appreciate your sincere question.
Right. Just because they’re nice people doesn’t mean their beliefs are nice. I’m really just looking for some assurance that, no matter what else happens, Mitt can’t win the preznidentzy because the fundies won’t vote for a heretic in magic underpants who believes in spirit babies and a polygamous heaven you have to earn your way into by running up your actuarially tabulated Good Deeds score while alive.
That's my current working assumption. I just imagine the fundie chain emails about guiding planets and getting beamed up to said alien planet to marry your virtual multiple wives after you die and pretending random common egyptian artifacts were great messages from god. And the hat and the seer stone — wasn't that a Harry Potter book . . . ?
The targets are big and easy to hit. Of course, fundies demonstrate an equal ignorance of all religions so maybe the romney is safe on this actually.
Remember, a lot of these folks are still entirely sure that the Romish Church is the Whore of Babylon.
They aren't Christians. Like the Jehovah's Witnesses (which I know a boat load about because our daughter married a really, really true believer and, of course, was brainwashed just like the rest of them) they are a hybrid of Christianity, like followers of "the Way" were a hybrid of Judaism.
They're dishonest about their religion. Like Jehovah's Witnesses, they pretend to be normal Xians then, as you are hooked in, brainwash you. During the '70s, when some of us were working our asses off for ERA, those sumbitch's used their vast wealth and political clout to fight it even harder than they fight gay marriage.
At least the Witnesses don't vote. Fuck Joseph Smith for not finding that restriction in those golden tabletls he "found," "translated" and then, as if by magic, they disappeared.
Magic underwear, and a belief system based on science fiction, I think.
??
I thought the magic undies are the mormons, but the sci-fi beliefs are scientology?
Hmmm. . . a superior being delivers a message on a set of golden plates that can only be translated by someone wearing special ruby spectacles; after you die, you are given your own planet to rule as a god (if you’re male)—sound pretty science fictional to me.
Plus: spirit babies, polygamy in heaven, etc. Dey so wackey!
who cares- unless you are a Mormon running for President?
Maybe, because they believe the already ridiculous Bible nearly word-for-word in a very literal way, and then add on additional and even more ridiculous bullshit to it? They take the Christian Bible and then make it worse, which is a talent and feat in itself. Maybe, because it's even more a financial scam than most modern denominations of Christianity? Maybe, because they are particularly dishonest about, and insidious with, their religion? Maybe, because they are especially literal, fundamental, and orthodox about their interpretation of their holy text(s)?
Really, I could go on, but the major part of the dislike for me comes is that it piles incredibly and exceptionally transparent bullshit onto of historical bullshit, and does it in a particularly cynical way.
As usual, The Onion clears things up.
As a youth I was force fed by Sister Caligula and a raving Elect-believing Calvinist (Ma & Pa were a mixed couple). Fortunately for me the folks believed in raising kids to think for themselves so when the choice became mine I walked the Planck. The big bang is like the 4th of July on steroids, but can be spiritual, too, also.
That Maxie: always with the jokes!Snark aside, that is one spectacularly beautiful visualization.
Yeah, but which one of those points of light is Kolob?
A millionaire lamenting how bad the economy is by standing in front of a facility shut down by millionaires, a member of a party primarily serving the whims of million(and billion)aires trying to convince people that he is a man of the people and has their best interests in mind. I'm sure the Mittmentum is building everywhere. Or is it just gas?
Mitt was delighted to report manufacturing bounced back today and his stock portfolio surged ever higher. He tugged at the crotch of his magic underwear and continued his campaign to nowhere.
Barbara Boxer’s blatant rewriting of history
Way to represent, Ed-Paw!
"Massage of Doom," is that deep massage or trigger-point massage?
Shiatsu. Or is that a little dog?
Somewhere around the mid-1980's I was pleasantly surprised that NBC's Standards & Practices didn't catch a line in St. Elsewhere that went something like, "Klaus is so dedicated to the chocolate business–he was at the factory all night helping the men pack fudge"
I bet the writers laughed their asses off though, good for them.
Is this the same Klaus that practices the piano because he hopes to master Beethoven?
Heh–was that actually used on St. Elsewhere? I would probably pay good money to watch tapes of the writing sessions…and then most of the same crowd went on and did Northern Exposure, too!
Forget all that. Was the dog strapped to the roof? The kids? The wives?
The nation?
He could stand is a smoking crater in Afghanistan, or Iraq, or Libya, or whatever other country full of muslims we start bombing next week.
Ah, they’re originalists, like Scalia…
Besides being, in many cases, Fundamentalist Christians, wingnuts have fetishized the Founding Fathers and Constitution in exactly the same way that they fetishize the Bible. But I thought that was clear.
I'll tell you what doom is… four days of this post.
What really gets you about the long, over-the-weekend posts is that the chain of comments gets so long it becomes almost impossible to find and savor your own brilliant witticisms.
When it gets near 300 comments, it reefs down on my computer so hard that I feel like I've got dial-up again. At that point, it's "Fuggit, time for another pitcher of margs."
You think our editors are heading out for four days of an Official Rush Limbaugh Caribbean Sex Tour?
Maybe we could go over, en masse, to a RW site and take over their blog comments for the weekend. That could have lotsa unintended (but delightful) consequences.
It's funny that 1 non-communist has the folks here desperate to escape.
Oh, sorry, Sweetie, but I guess you'll need to reread the comments I was responding to in order to understand what I was saying. But then comprehension isn't your forte, is it? Well, bless your heart.
You probably pronounce the word "fortay" rather than "fort."
Gaetan Dugas is the Air Canada flight attendant who was "patient zero" for AIDS. It is an apt alias for this troll who, like AIDS, we are all better off without.
I will say one thing to you, troll, and then I will forever ignore you. I don't get why you bother coming to Wonkette. Are you trying to change someone's world view? Are you just trying to pick a fight? Are you a lonely shut-in with a computer instead of friends? (To be clear – these are rhetorical questions.) Whatever the reason, it seems to come from a very dark, lonely and angry place. I feel sad for you.
I think its drunk.
During the Stuef Scare of '11, when this place was in a panic, someone mentioned that idea if our precious Wonkette were to shut down. i volunteered BigHollywood, it's pretty vacant there.
Let's keep that in mind. (Despite Noman's delusions).
I always worry about fucking my pees. I've worked hard for my pees, avoiding useful work to screw around on "my" the wonket and hate to lose them. In hard times, we all need something to feel good about. Except if we're wealthy, then we just laugh at all the hobos who are going hungry and without medical care so the guv'ment can continue to give them massive tax cuts.
You've always been high in pee-ness in my estimation, even before we went Intense Debate and I didn't even know what a P was. And now, your exalted P-ness is quite evident. My paltry little p's makes me realize my humility. Preparing me for the hobo beans in my medical-care-less future.
Here's my little firecrackers for you guys (lady fingers?), upfists for everybody (except ol' whats-their-no-name) If that's what the doctor ordered on the 4th of July. And yes, it is great to be American — as dysfunctionally successful as we are.
fuck the gov't, fuck Föx, fuck teabaggers, fuck Cheney, fuck me, fuck the whole shithouse….
but the Wonkettes and the long-forgotten crazy-ass American spirit is going up in the sky like the boxes of fireworks in my shed.
Hell is other Pee scores
No shit. Three days in the snark-free desert. This is very bad as I may be forced to clean the house since it's going to be 95 tomorrow. Plus, no patriotic, flag waving, freedumb day send-off? WTF?
"I may be forced to clean the house since it's going to be 95 tomorrow"
One of the few things that bad weather (too hot, too cold, too rainy, too whatever) is useful for is cleaning the house, since you're usually stuck indoors anyway.
I cleaned my back porch yesterday! I'm excited. Today I will do laundry!
And it finally got warm, so I will switch the flannel sheets out for percale (9 months flannel, 3 months percale).
I will pat little roomby and let him zip around sucking up wads of dog hair until he sings his little uh-oh-beep-beep song (choking on dog hair song).
I second the feeling, but in Gay-dumb Dogass's world, Kristen would be posting 18 hours a day all through the weekend for 20 cents an hour and all the 8×10 naked Blightfart pictures she could carry home to her cardboard box at night. And she would be LIKING it (or else). Thank Darwin for the unions and the occasional non-sociopathic politician or our country would really be in a Dogass state of being. I'm gonna read a book, maybe, balance my checkbook, maybe, read all the orphan side posts that don't get much traffic, and hope and pray that Brisdull's vag pix show up at TMZ over the weekend so our Wonkette overlords can spring Kristen out of bed to give us another chance to fap over something besides whatever it is we usally fap over. And speaking of fapping, WHERE THE HELL IS BENINCASA??.
I've got to work the weekend, but, mercifully, I have the 4th off and I am going to get smashed on martini's and blow off a pyrotechnic piece of American art.
All the while checking in on my cyber-lifeline.
Horror. Horror has a timestamp, and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and mortal terror are your friends. If they are not, then they are trolls to be jeered.
What's strange is him fantasizing that he is patient zero for Aids, trying to infect us I 'spose. If he had ever had sex, he would know he can't give it to us this way though. However, it helps rally his hatred for non-fascists.
Oh the joy, the bliss, I love that picture of Mittens, but not quite as much as the insane one of Walnuts.
What does Mittens care? Was he planning to buy it and suck the company, its shareholders and workers dry? I thought he'd gotten out of the private sector.
it wasn't an anusburger factory, that's for sure. morbidly obese republicans will keep them in business forever.
hehe Puke said "anus"
Unfortunately, prolly only on the "demand" side of the picture.
I think he should go visit the FUCKING MOON to remind everybody what happens when we have a republican as president, even if it is Tricky Dick Nixon and even if it wasn't his idea and he had nothing to do with it.
Reminds me of this Vonnegut quote:
"why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut? Why don't you take a flying fuck at the mooooooooooooon?"
You know what would really re-energize the economy? A Big Space Fuck
I'm not sure, but I think Mitt just lost Mayor Ed's vote.
There should be a whole series of these (like that currently popular meme in China – http://www.zonaeuropa.com/20110629_1.htm ) with Mitt photoshopped into various settings. Of course, if he keeps this nonsense up, no one will actually need to photoshop him in.
Or like this guy!
Or those lawn gnomes that show up in pictures from around the world.
liberal lunatics
libunatics
lih BOO nuh ticks
oh, i understand it jack ass. it's just the fucking lamest shit ever.
Poo
Pee
Head.
poop Y head
Oh God, you really do think you're clever. You're not. You're stupid and boring. A thread with you is like a party for adults with one whining, nose-picking, little snot pestering all the adults and yapping at them to listen to him.
And by the way, when said adults tell you to shut up or leave, that is not stifling dissent. That is telling you to find an appropriate venue in which to hold forth.
You are free to yammer your senseless babblings as much as you want. That does not obligate others to listen to you.
Too bad you're too stupid to understand this.
I love you.
Look what I can do!
Tedious troll is tedious.
I enjoy a nice troll, ideally slow smoked over applewood, but nevertheless, it can be fun to antagonize the little nippers. This one is just BORING.
Needs more flying monkeys.
That's just Wicked.
When I used to hang around old buildings in empty fields it was to smoke pot and make out with guys. Is there something Mitt is not telling us?
Naw, to those of us who understand, Mittens is all in ;)
Can you tell them I'm drunk while I slip out the back door? You're a doll, there's no way I'm queuing up behind that fucking Mladic.
But you and The Big Mu make such a lovely couple. And the rebels have promised to legalize gay marriage just as soon as they take Tripoli.
If you think I am going on honeymoon to Tripoli you don't know me at all. Don't make me take the company credit card off you.
Is it a good or bad thing that an Old like I doesn't have a clue wtf you two are talking about. Or is it just heat stroke? (On my part, of course.)
The Hague is the International court for war criminals.
Hey Okie, as MF said, the Hague is where they try war criminals, such as the Serb Mladic or The Big Mu-(amar Khaddafi), or posters who suggest such grotesque scenarios that could be considered crimes against human imagination-ity. Thus, the call for Mr. Fall, on line one, from the Hague. The rest is a bit of Mad Men, see?
If they tell you, please tell me also? It does sound deliciously sophisticated and European, doesn't it?
With dubious bladder control.
No matter how you look at Mitt he does have the rare talent to spread excrement like no other.
Mittens was disappointed because he was going to buy the company and shut it down himself, just like old times. The faces on those workers when they get the pink slip are just precious.
fantasy, projection
Sentences. How the fuck do they work?
Ask former Governor Rod Blagojevich (D-IL).
He'll find out soon enough how sentences work. He's looking at up to 320 years but will probably get only 10-15.
I do appreciate your exhibition of double standards, though. Thanks!
Seriously, no? Socialists fantasize about shutting down a company? Commies project about firing workers?
Stinky logic. Fail.
Not to mention what a sweet deal it is when the place goes bankrupt just after you offload it on someone else. We totally need this asshole to tell us how to improve the economies in overseas plants.
I bet GayTom DogAss would look just precious in a pink slip.
I don't know why, but that image reminds me of this.
I don't care how many diagrams and explanations of that thing I see, I will never understand how it works.
Do Republitards drive only foreign or otherwise southern (and scab) cars? Like when Jr. Bush was in Las Vegas and, according to my union card-carrying son, stayed at the only non-union hotel in the city?
mittnz iz doin it wrong.
No, that would be the Breitbart forums,I think this is just a regular fudge facility
Seeing the show this Sunday at the Eugene O'Neill Theater. But these 100 year old theaters have to go. Guy from Beanhole, AR in the front row farts and your ears pop in the balcony.
Hey! I live only 4 blocks from Beanhole, AR! Too soon!
And the Mitt Romney crawled awaaaaa-a-a-aaaa-a-a-aaaa-a-a-aaaa-a-a-aaaaay…
Dog farts just stinking up the whole blog.
Thia is what it comes too, I'm 100% behind Pawlowski.
Less than 20% of REPUBLICAN voters would pick this guy, and look at the clowns he's up against. Can we please stop pretending that in any universe more than half of voters would want to pick a guy to be president named "MITT"?
He calls himself "Mitt" because his real name is WILLARD!
Sweet; I'd been calling him Mitt the Shitt, but that's not necessarily good to use around the workplace. Willard is nice and aristocratic, though.
Try the golden oldie from his days as a Masshole:
Mitt-Wit.
Willard the rat? Or was the rat the owner? Never mind.
I used to be confused by that too. Just remember that Michael Jackson is singing to the rat in the song "Ben":
Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for
With my friend to call my own I'll never be alone
And you my friend will see, you've got a friend in me
Ben, you're always running here and there
You feel you're not wanted anywhere
If you ever look behind and don't like what you find
There's something you should know, you've got a place to go
More clarifications about Mitt's ratholing can be found on the internet just below. The more you know….
Howindafug do you get "Mitt" out of "WIllard"?
I don't know, I guess it depends on how Mitt got into Willard?
Mitt is the rat, he may respond well to cheese.
He calls himself "Mitt" because he's held a lot of balls.
Upfist and beer uplift to you, sir/madam/both.
Old Abandoned Factories are hotbeds of paranormal activity (Ghosts!) The only real purpose for them is to be investigated for strange noises, (Ghosts!) lack of strange noises, (Ghosts!) cold spots, (Ghosts!) and hot spots(Ghosts!). There is also a theory that Odor or the lack of odor also indicates paranormal activity (Ghosts!)
Sounds like a job for the Bro Witch Project.
“I don’t think Mitt Romney should be criticizing our community and this economy, because he has no clue why this plant closed"
Hang on a sec.
Gotta focus.
"because he has no clue why this plant closed"
Closer…
"he has no clue"
That's better.
Oh Mitt. I have to report, I just returned from an annual 4th of July party where I butted heads with a few GeeOPeers. Even they don't like you. Or the Snowbilly. No, they breathlessly told me their Messiah will appear soon. And it ain't you.
Are they going to roll away the stone in front of Zombie Ronnie's tomb?
And like Colbert's Lock and Load Jeebus, he will jump out firing an AK-47 to drive off all the liberals and bring the conservative utopia. Can't wait.
Please tell me he didn't recently move from New York to Dallas.
Is it Thaddeus McCooter? Don't by coy, now.
Isn't this an amusing time? The poor lost sheep so sad without a shepherd.
Perhaps Mittens would like to inform of all of how Reagan's policies killed any hope of the Rustbelt every coming back in any real way in the 1980's. Oh, no? Okay; then shut the fuck up you smarmy, vacillating, magic-underpants-wearing cad. Go victimize some other community you capital-sucking, blood funneled vampire.
I didn't think it would be possible for him to become even more annoying, but by the grace of the mormon god, he has. Like a festering tick between the shoulder blades of a dog, he just won't go away.
Perhaps Noman would like to inform of all of how Reagan's policies killed any hope of the Rustbelt every coming back in any real way in the 1980's. Oh, no? Okay; then shut the fuck up you smarmy, vacillating, magic-underpants-wearing cad. Go victimize some other community you capital-sucking, blood funneled vampire.
I didn't think it would be possible for him to become even more annoying, but by the grace of the mormon god, he has. Like a festering tick between the shoulder blades of a dog, he just won't go away
Noman? Really, I does not care. I does not care.
I'm getting the impression you do not like these magic-underpants wearers of doom.
Huh? Noman wears magic underpants?
I'm stuck using my ancient and cranky G4 this evening, and it's the first time I've seen the ads here. I have never in my life wanted zuchinni as badly as I now do.
I want to be a zuchinni
Do you enjoy your vegetables as much as Kortney?
I would say something about melons here, normally.
Don't forget, "Mitt's" real name is WILLARD… WILLIARD. Yes, WILLARD!
Did you say…"Willard"?
♪ "Mitt… you're always running here and there…
You… think you're not wanted anywhere…" ♪
Glad to see libunatic's focu's on important issue's. Their sew smard!
Up here in exurban Detroit, he'd better bring heroin – the real stuff, not that hillbilly heroin – if he hopes to get anywhere.
Allentown? I thought that place went down the shitter when Billy Joel released that song.
Is that Doom, that Bain Capital run by Mitt Romney purchased companies, closed the American production and moved the jobs to China and then sold the company at huge profits for Mitt. Yes that is the death knell for the American economy brought to you by the republican party and their Wall Street owners.
My apology if someone said this before, got a barbque to go to celebrate the Freedumb to be poor.
/ snark off
Putting soggy Mittens on the line to dry, Move to Amend is a new coilition pushing to put the kibosh on corporate personhood and absolute 1st Amendment status to Ameros. Worth a look on this patriotic holiday weekend. Have a blast!
/ snark on
From the linked Web site:
This is kind of an odd mix, weej. Bullet 1 is cool, but 2 and 3 are mighty vague. Aren't our rights to vote already guaranteed by the Civil Rights Acts of 64-65? Would bullet 3 undo the Supremacy Clause and allow for democratically elected governments in Alabama to re-institute Jim Crow?
Citizens United needs to go away, but if we're going to mess with the Constitution, while we're at it shouldn't we make Congress more proportionally representative, so one vote in Wyoming doesn't count 50 times what a vote in California does? It's all those rural gun-fetishists and racists who are ruining everything.
Start pushin' on that mi amigo.
When I saw that comment out of context (My Account view), it had a whole other meaning.
Hue puta, compa!
Pushing on soggy mittens? ;=)
I don't do the lawz any more than I have to (even if we go to court as the expert witless). Saw the link on Boing Boing this morn & since they were pushin' back at Citizens United thought I'd post the link. V572, raises some good points on some of their bullets. Don't want to let a good purpose inadvertently shoot itself in the foot.
Agree–there is vague wording there that should be sharpened up–I want a group that is devoted to getting rid of CU. But when I looked at some of the names who were part of the initial sign-up and saw folks I know or whose views I trust I went with it. There's nothing vague about torches, pitchforks, and a vat of hot tar.
Back in the good old days, the ERA had very simple language:Section 1. Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex.Section 2. The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this articleSection 3. This amendment shall take effect two years after the date of ratification.Of course it never got ratified…
And the ratification going in the tank is largely thanks to an earlier National scold Phillis Schlafly. Wuz working for the Alma Mater Illinoiz back in the days she was livin' in
East St. LouisAlton, IL and stompin' on the ERA.But if we brought back the ERA, even Herman Cain would have to support it because it's less than three pages long. You could add all four verses of the Star Spangled Banner AND the Pledge of Allegiance to it, and it would still be less than three pages long.
And you could add all the intelligent, thoughtful, and compassionate planks in the Republican Party platform to it, and it would be even shorter.
Why do I love zucchini all of a sudden?
Zucchini sucks.
Um, wait a minute…
I think it's the unnecessary quotation marks.
He's just another unemployed guy, standing in front of a closed factory, lamenting the Two Americas. Just another non-working stiff.
Ugh! Iron Shitty. The only beer that will make a can rust from the inside out.
Uh, the Rustbelt's fate was sealed about 30 years ago, Mittens.
Pandering to America's very short attention span. Unfortunately, this shit works.
Servo! Thanks for unmasking yourself. I've been wondering where you went. Sometimes I wanna talk in my normal voice 'n 'at an these jagoffs don't unnerstand.
Well, airyago! Had to lose Servo thanks to the move to Intense Debate. Bunch a friggin' jagoffs! How things dahn nair in AZ?
Like hell in more ways than one. It is, however, helping me with my Buddha nature to be in such a hostile environment.
Your new handle is a good one. LOL.
Why doesn't a union buy the factory and try creating jobs instead of chasing them away?
Why don't you gag on a zucchini?
That would much interesting that reading your tired predictable bullshit. If you're gonna hang out here all day , why don't you improve your material ? Help me help you.
I didn't think you'd have an answer other than to commit personal attacks, the hallmark of libunatic postings.
Seriously, unions have a LOT of money in their pension plans, which they invest to make a profit. If they believe in their organizational skills and expertise, they should go ahead and start and run some businesses – instead of destroying them from within, as parasites.
Yeah, screw those union workers, all they do is the actual work. Maybe just replace them with child labor. Children are a lot more biddable and probably would accept candy as compensation. Good idea, right?
Why don't some of the unions invest their pension funds in a couple of businesses which they run themselves?
Surely they can do a better job than those evil capitalists!
"screw those union workers, all they do is the actual work. "
You mean they avoid work.
If you've been around union shops like I have you'd know the truth.
Unions do invest in bidness Dat's olde newz.
That's a first. Let's see how they do.
I personally will never own another government motors vehicle.
Pretty good, all things considered.
This is so easy…..
Yeah, the earthquake and radioactivity problems in Japan have NOTHING to do with increased sales by US auto makers.
And of course the slow recovery from the recession has nothing to do with increased sales, either.
Libunatics lack integrity.
THIS is too easy.
*Sniff, sniff* What is that dreadful smell?
Mayhaps a troll p****head?
So after fat cat Daddy Warbucks has run the factory into the ground, scarfed up all the profits and headed out to find another business to rape, you are suggesting that the union now take over this wreck? No wonder you have nothing more to do than make an ass of yourself–your business acumen is about as good as your ability to fly Air Canada by flapping your arms.
*golf clap*
That's what I was thinking too, Dudley. The top scum layer had one job to do over the last 40 years or so and they failed disastrously — keep the companies alive and productive in a fair and equitable manner. Why bother dealing with pesky labor (commies), when there was an exploitable cheap labor source elsewhere.
Exploiting labor, hmmm, where have I heard that before?
Those same execrable executives who were willing to disembowel our industrial base all in the name of profit, junk bonds and shareholder value. The One thing they were responsible for was saving jobs not sending them overseas.
A propaganda machine and fools like troll breath covered their tracks.
Labor or management? I know what side I choose. Fuckface chose his side — the very ones who left the bleak backdrop for Mitts.
Anyway, what are the chances our sewer troll friend would buy a pair of Allen-Edmonds' shoes over the Wal-Mart loafers? Or a Town and Country over an Odyssey? Or a Made in USA Stratocaster over a Made in China one?
He sides with the 0.1%, not unlike the fools who sided with slave-owners — and were willing to die, all over protecting the "peculiar institution" and "Southern heritage."
Gah, the stench. The unmistakable stench of poop.
I see (or smell) that our two-bit tinfoil-hatted troll has changed his name and changed his little picture. Or did he just forget who he was and had to make up a new name for himself? Where is Orkin when you need them!
Why doesn't Mr. Spanky Immolate himself buy a factory and "create jobs" instead of creating an endless stream of idiocy on Intense Debate.
Happy July holiday, WonketWorld! It's 111 degrees here — too hot to grill the hobo beans. So I'm going to celebrate my independence by cleaning my closets. Maybe I'll find something gold I can sell to Glenn Beck and pay my air-conditioning bill with the money.
It's 90 degrees where I am and I'm absolutely miserable. Then again, I melt after anything above 80 degrees.
I'd probably be suffering from heatstroke if it wasn't for the AC. Never had whole-house in my life until I moved to AZ, so I feel your pain. Hope it cools off for you before the weekend's over. Best, Jukesgrrl
What sucks is that it was both hot and humid. I can halfway stand the miserable temps in the desert Southwest, but I turn into whiny 5-year-old when you add in high humidity, and I live in Michigan.
My son and his family live in the Detroit area and are coming up for the holiday. Startled to find that it is hot and humid up here also (for the moment).
Welcome to the monsoon season. Up here in the mountains we woke up to a humidity haze. Yesterday we hit about 98 and the monsoon storm barely dropped the temps 8 degrees, but left the humidity.
"It's 111 degrees here — too hot to grill the hobo beans."
*brings tray of umbrella drinks*
Aww, thanks. But may I have a side order of rain with those umbrellas? Even my basil plants are prostrate. Isn't basil supposed to be a Mediterranean plant? Cheers, J.
Say, is K. B. Johnson in charge of the site now? I'm sure a lot of us are waiting eagerly for whoever's running the place to lose their ban-hammer virginity.
must…suppress…dissent….
Tell us, Troll-for-hire, how far would dissent be welcomed on any right-wing site, especially of the relentlessly, reflexively dickish variety you've been serving up?
It's obvious dissent is not tolerated here.
You didn't answer my question, Troll-for-hire, which tells me you'd find the answer inconvenient.
must….suppress…gag reflex…
The better to enjoy that delicious zucchini.
DP?
We're not repressing dissent. We repress lack of humor. I read plenty of stupid things here, but the vast majority of them make me laugh. Even your bio lacks humor and creativity. And in case you haven't noticed, the Republicans "have" the House of Representatives now, so it's time to stop blaming Nancy Pelosi for your unemployment.
la Terreur était trop poli.
豚 / ぶた ( ´(00)`)
Nobody is suppressing you, you ignorant cretin. You can spew whatever you like.
But, follow closely here, no one is obligated to listen to you. No one is obligated to invite you in.
And you can be shown the door. And that is not suppressing "dissent." Because once outside the door, you can spew whatever you like. To anyone willing to listen.
double standards
You obviously don't know what freedom really means. If I am not free to walk into your house anytime I like and take a giant steaming shit on your dining room table, you are suppressing my freedom. Good manners and rational discourse are assaults on the first amendment, dammit.
Internet content belongs to The People, according to the concept of Net Neutrality.
Why can conservatives not grasp the simple concept of respect for private property?
Why can conservatives not grasp the simple concept of respect for private property?"
Grasping is an outstanding conservative skill, but "concept of respect" nonetheless will always elude them.
"a gay sex triangle between lots of Santorum, a bear T-Paw, and Mittens of looooove"
The idea of Mittens fisting is too terrifying to contemplate.
Mitt Romney is slicker than Rick Perry's hairspray bottle slipping on David Vitter's Diaper in Sarah Palin and Michele Bachman's mud-wrestling ring.
While your all enjoying your Hobo beans, I've landed my Gulfstream in Costa Rica. The monkeys slinging shit at each other are exciting. But they are not as exciting as my flight maid Svetlana making me Caviar Helper and demonstrating to me the power of her kegel muscles.
Meanwhile working class people, I see one Presidential Candidate is writing a book:
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20075214-5…
I myself would shorten the title to read "A pepparoni pizza in every pot." Herman Cain/Michelle Bachmann for El Jefe/Junior El Jefe of America.
I'm sorry to cut this conversation short but Svetlana is wearing her sling bikini and I have 800 pounds of consumer fireworks to display to the natives. Plus, I gotta find 5000 pounds of fuel for this Gulfstream. Oh yes, I'll just ask for carbon credits – thanks Joe Lieberman,
God Bless America
Fartknocker, and I need a tax break because I only made $4 million last year and that Gulfstream is not cheap.
Typical limousine liberal!
If our weekend troll is still here, I'd like to point out that this is how it's done.
You may be impressed if he wins the job with that set of superstitions in the pocket of his holy underwear. I will be pretty depressed at the increasing gullibility and stupidity of the electorate. (Have I already lost that one?)
You are right, there have been a couple of times on this go around that I opened a comment and then thought nah…
Why can't we have a witty troll, or at least one that isn't puzzled by where his fingers go when he wears mittens?
It's the old Barney-Frank-dining-room-table thing.
I often get excited when I see a thread with like 78 replies, because I'm a fan of controversy, and there might be something interesting inside. But then it turns out to be this schmo.
OT
In what seems a marriage made in heaven, Terrible Ted Nugent is offering his beloved Wang Dang Sweet Poontang to Michele Bachmann. As the Wonketteriate know, poor Michele was left at the campaign theme song alter by librulz Tom Petty and Katrina and the Waves.
Maybe the banjo guy from Deliverance (Spanky's uncle/dad) can join the cause ??
Ray Stevens? Isn't Dee Snider one of "them" too? Maybe they can all get together and do a "We are the World" type collaborative project. "We are the rich, We are the wealthy, We are the folks who create jobs so vote for us or your sorry poor asses will be laid off without a hope for assistance or finding new work you scum sucking (oops!) We are the rich, We are the wealthy,….."
I like it. It has a catchy tune and I can dance to it.
Isn't that the guy who did Ass Scratch Fever?
I thought it was "Pants Crap Fever", the ballad of a tough-guy musician scared shitless at the prospect of having to fight in an actual war, so he appeared before the draft board wearing the pants he'd spent a week pooping into.
Yes old Teddy managed to grab a 1Y like Rush Limpblow for a tush cyst. "Murican heros, or perhaps hero sandwiches, or heroins for the masses.
Ted Nugent is living proof of how desperate the GOP assholes are for anyone who has ever had a taste of fame. Ted Nugent is one lame motherfucker.
Because you know, celebrities shouldn't be shoving their views down real Americans' throats.
Because you know, celebrities shouldn't be shoving their views down real Americans' throats.
I keep being told that is not correct when I bring up Sarah Palin.
Sean Penn, Alec Baldwin, or Matt Damon: it's wrong.
Jon Voight, Stephen Baldwin, or Bruce Willis: perfectly acceptable.
Like reagan. I propose that possession of a SAG or AFTRA card shall preclude anyone from entering politics or punditry.
Yup, it's a target caramellised sugar-rich environment alright….
O/T, but I'm going into the Holiday to Celebrate Freedumz on my new diet of Antabuse and Lorazepam. It oughta be interesting. Wish me well.
Bottoms up, Wonketeers!
Dewey, I'm in the very same place as you and I know how dark it is. I also have the 'Independence Day' motif in mind. I wish you not only well, but peace and strength. Keep updating, even if it don't feel so snarky. People here care. I know I do. You can do it, friend, you can do it.
Thanks, Owls. I had to tell somebody — so far only my wife and sister know, and I'd rather like to keep it that way — and I figured that I might find someone here who can relate. If I make it, other people will know soon enough, as I will no longer be yelling at them and breaking their furniture.
Oddly, exactly three emotions survived the zombifying effects of the meds — anger, sadness and sarcasm. Seems like the perfect fit for this place. : )
All the best for your success Dewey. A big hug from the Northwest.
Oh, I know about the isolation, Dew. And I'm glad you shared because now I can too. Mrs. Owls moved out three months ago, for the same condition we share. Like you, I'm working toward a different future version of me, working being the key word there. So are you, and I know you and I will make those versions a reality instead of a "Oh fuck, I can't believe how hungover I am. No more for me. This time I really mean it." But then, you stop puking, your headache lessens and, "Maybe just a drink so I can sleep."
Gah! Too much! As to the emotions, all are genuine and all are 'necessary and sufficient conditions' to thrive in Wonkettegarten. An ability to address the absurdity of our current reality easily produces sarcasm, exposure to the venality of people in or aspiring to positions of power easily produces anger, and the unavoidable recognition that our country has apparently embraced a Jim Jones-style politics easily produces sadness. Yet experienced together, as you describe, those emotions rather amazingly synthesize (or metastasize?) into a perfect symbiotic wonkorganism.
So, um, put more succinctly: you be right 'bout da fit.
That's terrible. I'm sorry to hear that. I usually follow your comments pretty closely (you won my heart with that "dead Iraqi child in a jar" comment), and it's possible that you alluded to that, and I just didn't hear it.
I may have averted disaster, both at home at at work. I left the house Sunday in a rage about some perceived minor slight and spent the night at a friends house. When I came home Monday morning to shower, etc, Mrs Dewey told me to leave and not to come back until I had some sort of plan for how to deal with this. I saw a doctor on Thursday (for the meds) and will start "treatment" on Tuesday. I'm back at home. Luckily my daughter is still young enough not to be able to distinguish between "sick" and "drunk". But she definitely noticed that I wasn't there.
Thinking good agnostic supportive thoughts in your general direction, too. Anger, sadness and sarcasm are the stuff of great satire; use them (and your Jedi weapon) to strike down evildoers.
I appreciate your secular support. I was trying to visualize my reaction to some therapist who might insist that I go to AA, acknowledge the "higher power". I mean, what the fuck does theology have to do with alcoholism? Right? Don't tell me I can't find plenty of meaning and reasons to do the right thing among my friends, family, and right here on this internet website. A thousand thanks, Dok.
Wish I could say something thoughtful and supportive. I suspect you'd find plenty of Wonkers with similar experience. This is a hard site to be genuine and mushy in, but I'm sending you genuinely mushy love thoughts.
You are (and of course,Weej and the Dok too) a good and caring person to 'risk'(?) a bit of shunning for being sincere. As have all of us so far who have responded to Dewey's brave post, indicating that beyond all our snark, we are in fact a community of people, real people, who derive comfort from being in contact, virtually, with each other. So cheers to you, to the other supportive souls posting here, and most especially, to Dewey. And with that, for now, I end my bloviating, sermonizing or blathering, take your pick. And now, back to our regularly scheduled poopyhead….
Dewey, Owls and Radio, only you who are going through hell know what it means, but I, and others here have either been through it before or know someone close who has done so. We are a group of brothers and sisters, we Wonketeers, and are as supportive as we can be via this medium; I wish we could do more. There's nothing snarky in needing support, and no snark in providing the love and empathy that I and others send your way. We're with you guys, all the way.
I'm also sending positive and supportive thoughts your way. Although I have only been a Wonketeer for 7 months it is a priviledge to be a part of this positive, funny and intelligent community. Sometimes only my imaginary friends get me through the day. Keep posting cuz this is turning out to be a very long, hot weekend.
"Imaginary friends" is exactly how my wife refers, disdainfully, to the lot of you. Thank you, and keep up the good work.
Just imagine she's saying "imaginaTIVE."
I was saying "Boo-urns"!
Indeed.
My youngest brother, a brilliant and creative man, died of the affects of alcoholism (alcoholic pancreatitis) three years ago. He was 42.
A very dear friend is now into her fourth year of sobriety. When I bailed her out of jail and heard her "I am going to get myself together" yet again, back in 2008 I figured it was just another flash of remorse but she has made it stick. She is one of my heroes.
I guess what I am saying is that it is (as you, Owls and others know better than anyone) is it is hard as hell but still possible.
Endless positive karma for you and everyone else struggling with these demons.
I'm sorry about your brother. I'm now 42, and I was starting to get the feeling that I might be running out of time.
Nobody that I know has been a positive success story, like your friend. Maybe they're out there, but they haven't mentioned it. All of my friends are practicing alcoholics.
There are many success stories. One of my best friends–we go back literally 60 years–has been able to pull out of the depths. Hard work saved him and his marriage. Same with another long-time friend. There are good paths to follow. And as someone said, don't let the AA theology scare you. I just hope that you and Owls can find groups that are supportive, willing to challenge when needed, and always loving. They do exist, believe me.
Can't believe McDownfisty is on the prowl in this thread. grrrrrr…
/ mustn't share current thoughts, simply mustn't
Thank you all. It really helps. And I apologize if I'm having difficulty dropping the facade and showing the kind of caring and humanity that you all are showing. I'm still in a defensive posture, I suppose. Many of you have pointed out that Wonkette is where we go for humanity, solace, escapism, comraderie, even if we rarely admit it, and I'm no exception.
I had not intended this as a bid for sympathy, or to turn Wonkette into some kind of sap-fest, but from the safety of our pseudonyms, it is often easier to blurt out some overly-honest thing that one would never dare tell to our friends or coworkers (particularly the coworkers).
And if it hadn't been the 357th comment on the 3rd day of a weekend post about Mitt Romney, I probably would not have done it at all. Fuckin' Mitt. He's so dull and gloomy that he's turned us into a support group for dysfunctional misfits.
Sarcastics Anonymous, anyone?
Keep moving. That's been my mantra. Very best wishes to all you Wonkette guys and gals. Love to yez!
Forward Hoes! Hose! Also!
It's not easy to pull that curtain back, but we need to do it…in the company of fellow souls who do not judge, who like poor Donner have suffered a grievous loss, who may be new here or old. It is a bit hard for me to type right now, as I am weeping quite deeply. For you, for Donner's brother, for me and for the genuine solace that we can sometimes be blessed with from our fellows here in our little virtual neighborhood. Sorry, now I'm just wracked with sobbing. no more
Keep taking it day by day, know that there are people pulling for you, and it will always be a battle. But you have allies.
Dewey, and Dudley above, I'm on the positive side (for this weakend at least), the 4th being my b-day and my favorite pagan-fest. I went to AA meetings almost 30 years ago as part of my education. I realized beyond cigarettes and coffee, there is no easy answer.
Like the doors or a joy division, there is clarity and rock'n'roll and danger. We even miss Ken Layne. But the little girls understand, buttsecks or something. A change of speed, a change style, a change of scene with no regrets.
Funny you mention the Mrs. Dewey and her indifference to our Wonketterism. Mrs. Radio is the same way. In fact, when the fever is high, I've heard the same "imaginary friends" line. But I don't hold it against her. This is rarified air, even with troll stink about, and I hope it helps you as it has helped me thru my travails in the Obama Age.
Happy fourth to you, Radio!
That was my grandmother's birthday too. Hope everyone here gets to enjoy celebrating in whatever way works best`
Happy Birthday Rad!! Mr. Geminisunmars's birthday is also today. As are (and were) several individuals who played seminal roles in my life.
BTW, Mr G was an immigrant to this country, and was initially quite overwhelmed by the celebration thrown just for his birthday.
But I don't hold it against her
nor do I. I know why I come here. Maybe someday i will show her this thread, and she will understand.
and I hope it helps you as it has helped me
it has, does, and will continue to do so.
Happy birthday to you, sir.
"Sarcastics Anonymous"? – no way. I couldn't quit the sarcasm but I don't see it as a problem. Without sarcasm what's left? Daily Kos is over there –>
But seriously, I was tearing up when I read your posts. Like everyone else who has responded to you, I'm pulling for you.
Thanks.
And no thanks on the Kos thing. pff.
"And no thanks on the Kos thing. pff."
Heh – yeah. I read some of the posts there, some of them are quite informative. But I usually make it through five or six comments before I remember life's too short to full with sanctimonious purists.
I almost didn't do my earlier, hardass reply because the thread was at 69 replies, and somehow, the number was so wonket-perfect, I was reluctant to fuck it up.
"Bottoms up, Wonketeers!"
That's their favorite position, as they prostate themselves, oriented toward Washingtong DC, chanting "Obama akbar! Obama akbar! Obama akbar!" five times per day and spewing hatred and vitriol out their backsides towards the rest of America.
You, sir or madam, are a douche.
I'm guessing that you, like Rush, and Ted Nugent, and Dick Cheney and so many others, are a war wimp, one who exudes patriotism and sees liberals as haters of America but never, ever served in the military.
Like they did for us yesterday at the Mariners – Padres game, all you Wonketteers who are vets please stand up.
/ pushes back from desk, stands, and gives his fellow vets a hand.
Bravo, friend. A big round of wing-flapping for you and your fellow mates!
Now I really must get back to Trinquier. We are, after all, celebrating a successful guerrilla war.
Thank you for your service.
"You, sir or madam, are a douche. "
Why thank you!
You do understand, don't you, that a douche is a jet of water which cleans out bacteria and other undesirables.
It's good for santorum too….or so i hear.
cleansing, undesirables
Hmm, where have I heard that before?
Oh Stinky, you truly are a font of compassion and tolerance. But really, that poopy-smell is such a turnoff.
May this be a day of peace and contentment for you as you celebrate the founding of our incredible country.
Thanks for proving once and for all what an inhumane, cold, callous ass you and the lot of teabaggers are. Here's a sub-thread about a fellow human being trying to get through a difficult life problem, and, instead of you saying something like "sorry man" or "hang in there" you spurt out your usual humorless polemic.
One great thing about being an atheist is that you have fealty to no man or institution. Hence, your displacement reaction to Obama makes no sense. You are the one who lies prostrate before Ailes, Mark Levin and their sad misrepresentations.
One great thing about America is that 235 years ago today we stopped paying homage to King and Cleric, not perfectly, but as a step in the right direction.
So on this 4th, I would personally like to offer that a lit roman candle — with report — be shoved up your herpetic asshole.
You libunatics sure are obsessed with references to teabagging.
One of the few downsides to being an atheist is knowing that there's no Hell for this asshole to end up in. Still, knowing that he has to live with himself counts for something.
As to his invading our group-hug for Not That Dewey, no surprise, there. We're commies, and therefore not quite human.
In return, I would like to wish him an aggressive case of something ending in "-oma," just so we can give him our deepest sympathies as he deals with it.
Communists are humans. It is you libunatics who treat your opposition as inhuman.
I look at them (when do which isn't often) as pageviews for Wonkette and another pile of gold Ameros for our desert dwelling overlord, the Ken of Layne.
Antabuse I know. I took it, umm, let me count–35 yaers ago when I was booked to go to N.O. on an ill-timed trip that began days after I quit drinking. The other i don't know, but it sounds psychotropic and heavy as hell. So luck to you. Check in. Wonkeratti can be your personal recovery (or whatever you are doing) support group. Use some of that sarcasm on the wonket and spare your family.
It's not like anyone here gets their feelings hurt easily–I mean, look at the kind of people we prefer to spend our time with rather than with real ones.
Lorazepam (Ativan) is an anti-anxiety and/or anti-aggression drug. Doc thought it would calm me through at least the first week of the ordeal. That's the one I suspect of producing the zombie effect, which has been wearing off. But since I began both at the same time, I can't really be sure. I don't know what Antabuse is supposed to feel like (except when its terms-of-use have been violated, which I haven't tried). It seems as though it may be more of a good-faith gesture to my loved ones than a deterrent, per se.
Use some of that sarcasm on the wonket and spare your family.
This I have learned, and have been practicing. Sarcasm, as a mode of intimate interpersonal communication, does not fly well. Family is for dining together and going to the park. Wonket is for making fun of fools and Republicans (with the occasional group hug, as it turns out).
Hey Dewey, you made it another day.
Ativan (a benzodiazepine) is the treatment for the shakes as well. It can have a soporific effect, but you should build tolerance quickly and only need it for a short time.
Thanks for sharing and sprouting a memorable reply thread.
Fireworks are cool, drunk, or not.
Fireworks are cool. The university shoots them out over the golf course, and our rich friends hosted a party at their tony pad that overlooks the course, and they had a tremendous view of the show. I even consorted with people who were drinking beer, and for that three-hour period, it almost felt like a non-issue (even though I know it's not).
The ativan had the intended effect. I would have been a wreck at work on Friday without it. But I think I could probably start getting through the night without it. The last thing I need now is an ativan addiction. Back to benadryl.
My new substance abuse therapist was impressed when I told her about our epic weekend alcoholism thread, and all the support that turned out. As I mentioned to Owls, a full five days passed between when I went to the clinic seeking treatment and when they finally granted me an appointment. Without this thread (and all you cool people), I probably wouldn't have made it through the weekend.
O/T
Is Herman Cain worse than his cardboard with ketchup pizza?
What. An. Assknuckle. Amongst assknuckles.
"Herman real black man. Other guy imposter. Herman real. Herman born in USA like Springsteen. Other guy sort-of Kenyan still. Maybe." Sounds like Alex Karras in Blazing Saddles: "Mongo only pawn in game of life." Herman, STFU.
And like Alex Kerras, after getting thumped charging through the line Cain will get to see a 63 yard game-winning field goal made by the other side.
His daddy's name is Luther Cain. Does anything else need to be said?
He should so name his son Abel.
Ha! Fool. The plant closed because its managers expected a larger stimulus and didn't get any help. Blame Democrats for being spineless. Then point and laugh at Romney for saying the stimulus was a waste when in fact it should have been bigger, and WOULD HAVE BEEN BIGGER had Republicans been on board. Summary: GOP shuts down factory, Romney blames Obama. Brilliant campaign strategy, Mittens.
I thought Piyush was supposed to be the GOP savior of this election. What ever happened to him?
He decided to go back over to Mumbai and work at the help (?) desk for some computer start-up. More value to society in that than in being governor of Louisiana. He also decided that he couldn't take another hurricane.
Happy Talk Like A Teabagger Day!
Fire up the grill! Put the beers in ice! And get ready to witness our inane "Real Americans" demonstrate Darwinism with explosives and combustibles.
Cheers to thinning the herd.
our inane "Real Americans"
There's an "s" missing in there, can you find it?!
Didn't Patsy Cline sing about it some years back?
Why yes, as did these upstanding Doper-Americans.
inane adj. Lacking sense or substance.
Vinny do you have a surveillance camera here in C'Addle? I'm wearing my Darwin shirt today!!
Talk like a bagger?
"I hate Obama the Kenyan. He ain't my president. Fuck taxes, fuck the government, fuck the poor , fuck muslims ! God hates gays and women's choices. I HATE THE USA SINCE 2008."
Zucchini pic becomes somebody's avatar in 4…3…2…Done!
Yeah but I'm very disappointed that Gravatar made me crop the full zucchini panorama.
Same here.
PBS taxcut, am I Wright? Thug organizer! Libinatrix. Libomasochist. Libillingus. Hussein Union Homogenda! Ayn Akbar, Ayn Akbar!! Obummernobomanobummernobama!! Putting on Ayers! BLACK TELEPROMPTERS!!!!1!!!!
Happy Talk Like A Teabagger Day!
So we all have to say "I am not racist but…." followed with something incredibly racist?
"Happy Talk Like A Teabagger Day! "
I can't understand what you are saying, you must have something in your mouth….
Everything said must include at least one of the following:
Founding Fathers
Liberty
Freedom
Never Forget
Protecting Our Freedoms
We The People
Constitution
Take Our Country Back
God
Sorry for the confusion, folks.
What? No mention of guns? Arms? Muskets?
How many months do we have to listen to him drone on about how "Obama is a failure." You know who a failure is: a man who spends $10 million of his own dollars trying to get the Republican nomination in 2008 and is repulsed by his own party in the effort.
Serial rapist? Really? My, you're quick with the ridiculous slander pulled right out of your ass.
Not that you would want to really understand, but Bush's last budget was in 2008, w/ a $459bil deficit, inclusive of supplementals.
And there was a budget surplus, and unemployment was 4-5%, and the military industrial complex was only sucking off half of what it does now, and there was no Fatherland Security Boondoggle, and you were still a fuckface.
Correct!
The Hag refers to Nancy Pelosi.
It's confusing.
That part i got. But that was all I got. :-) Has the troll finally gone away? I've been upthumbing (because upfisting sounds so fucking dirty) everyone, just in case.
Don't those assholes have the Breitbart shit where they can listen to each other fart? And NRO. They have lots of idiot sites. Why can't they stay there?
Or as you call her, Mom, you rebel you.
That's what we called your mom last night when we were fucking her right?
Thank you, Dearest, for looking that up. I was worried you wouldn't understand. I'm sure, now, your comprehension has improved immeasurably.
"Octomom allegedly says she doesn't like her kids"
Well, then, that makes plenty of us who don't like her kids. Or her, either.
Your arrogance is typical.
I bet YOU had to look it up.
I'm sorry you feel bad. I'm sending you hugs and kisses, and love and light.
Now THAT's the kind of comeback that can only be achieved with the wit, charm, and intelligence that come from the years of study required to graduate.
Second grade.
I see that your Word-a-Day calender is coming in handy. Your mother was very nice to get you that so you could come out and play with the normal people every once in awhile before going back to your cage, every night. I cry that you don't get to experience foods beyond the fish heads she feeds you through the bars of said cage, you poor thing.
Say what, chicken butt?
I like how you handled our Conservative Precious. I like how you did that, a lot.
Hell, I wish I'd said that myself. Speaking of hell, we're on our 100+ day spree. I'm so glad Sen Inhofe (R-Bigoil) has assured us climate change is a hoax, or I'd be worried.
Whew. Clears that up. Now that I've found the spot on this thread for which I was looking (Sidebar conference: see, troll–I can do some things right) I can go back to baking fantastic muffins for the B&B guests who are young, had car trouble and look to me like a bad check waiting to happen. Plus vacuuming. When you only do it every 6 months or so, takes forever to get green on the Intelliclean feature. Shit. I just reread that and realized I'm old and without a life.
Yep, that Republican Congress did a FABULOUS job – compare that to the last four years of complete control of Congress by Democrats.
"still a fuckface"
Correction/nitpick — we're talking about a past era, so Gaetan was *already* a fuckface.
Once Dems took complete control of Congress on January 3, 2007, they OWNED the budget and the deficit from that second forward.
Maybe we could make them wear yellow stars on their clothes and put them in special Obama re-education camps…
Yes, because a federal regulatory structure already existed to address those concerns. Good thing The Shrub in Chief gutted it's budget and left them dependent on accepting bribes and playing grab ass to pass the time. You really need to work on your trolling skills, young Padawan
No need for visual identifiers. You can smell a poopyhead from a long, long way off.
Your life sounds rich and fulfilling. And I'm not just saying that in hopes of some day scoring muffins.
"Plus vacuuming. When you only do it every 6 months or so, takes forever to get green on the Intelliclean feature"
"After the first three or four years, the dirt doesn't get any worse" — Quentin Crisp
Oh, sure, this yutz knows all about how union shops work. That's where he got the experience to be a Troll-for-hire.
Yes, as I say, child labor would work better. I'm sure you'd like that.
Que olor!
Oof. There's that stink again.
Technically speaking, you can't really say you've 'been around' union shops if you're nothing but a stinking scab.
Numerous studies have shown Union shops to be more productive than non-Union shops in terms of units produced per hour. I've worked in both non-Union and Union shops. Union shops attract and hold smarter workers. Non-Union shops lose their smarter employees to better paying positions. Another reason Union shops are more productive is due to the fact that management is filled with all manner of weirdos in both Union and non-Union shops. But in Union shops there are work rules that keep bosses from interfering with the actual work that people are trying to get done when they succumb to the management gimmick du jour.
Typical fabrication and demonization.
Oh please, go cry somewhere else.
P-U!
Toyota & Honda went down, but Nissan & Mazda were up. Further shortage were in the small cars & the Big 3 saw improvements in larger vehicles that did not have big earthquake impediments.
Perhaps the two largest drags on the economic recovery are:
1. profits, stocks, and bonus are way up but not payroll
2. productivity in health care has stalled while prices have exploded.
Too easy, by half.
Not to mention larger vehicles like pickups saw an uptick because gas prices have gone down a bit, which always gets a few people buying less-fuel-efficient vehicles. When gas prices spike up again the Japanese brands will come back, earthquake-caused inventory shortage or no. I mean, that was only in the same goddamn article weejee linked to on Autoweek, ya doof.
Keep trying, troll, you are just so adorable I want someone to crochet you into a sampler.
Yeah, it's obvious that all improvement in sales from last year to this at GM are because of union ownership….
If you throw down your
tinfoilhat and run around in circles stamping your feet you might feel better.aaklige stank
I figured I'd put it in your native tongue.
No, ya big dummy, it was in anticipation of the earthquake/tsunami/nuclear disaster.
"I cry that you don't get to experience foods beyond the fish heads she feeds you through the bars of said cage"
So he's Bart's evil twin Hugo?
No, no. remember when it snowed on the east coast a few years ago? That proved global warming is a hoax. Accumulated data, painstaking observation and consensus analysis — and Oklahoma afire? That means nothing. There was an e-mail, an e-mail for god sakes that showed someone fudged a report. PROOF, PROOF, the whole thing is made up in Al Gore's mind.
Stay cool DBB, stay cool.
Exactly. But, less intelligent and crafty.
And with worse personal hygiene.
Interesting that he equates Breitbart sites with Obama re-education camps?
Not surprising, mind you. Never mind, it's not even interesting.
Quite the little show off, isn't he? (Troll, not Geminisunmars.) I try to imagine how horrible his life must be to feel compelled to brag about having seen random CNN factoids to try to look smart. And to do this while hanging around people he doesn't even like, who don't like him.
What a waste of an existence. I do so wish he would waste it elsewhere.
She should form a private club with Bristol, and then the two of them should stay the hell out of everyone else's faces.
"..run around in circles stamping your feet you might feel better."
That's what he is doing here and it doesn't seem to be helping him. It is more and more like an annoying brat at an adult event that. won't. shut. up.
I forgot, a stupid, annoying brat.
Uh huh . . . just as America is supposed to belong to all Americans. That does not mean that as an American I have to allow anybody who wants to come into my house and fling feces everywhere. There are public commons and there are private dwellings/clubs/properties etc.. In other words, you are still full of shit. The people here who want you banned do so not because you provide a dissenting opinion but because your arguments are weak or nonexistent and your blog presence almost always humourless and grating. Personally, I couldn't care less. I'm just here for the dick jokes and find it easy to skip over most of your little turds of ignorance.
Truly, Stinky, the only thing you dissent against here is humor and insight, ipso facto Spanky2b is a Poopyhead.
Yeah, good old Phllyllis Schllaflly, what a witch. Her gay son is the only rational argument in favor of the idea that people aren't born gay. "If this is what women are like, I'm switching to the other team!"
Let me bloviate a tad more on representation: until the mid-1960s, state legislatures drew congressional districts according to their whim, and state legislative districts were drawn the same way: to protect incumbents. The result was over-representation of rural districts, which is what led to the insane experiment of Prohibition, lavish farm subsidies, and a multitude of other political sins driven by the prejudices of unsophisticated families living alone in houses out in the country. The beloved Warren Court decreed that Congressional districts had to have roughly equal populations–and so did state legislative districts. This pissed off a lot of people but allowed minorities to finally achieve representation.
But right now, tiny states like AK and WY get two senators and one congresscrittter no matter how dinky their populations, which results in gross under-representation of big (=blue) states. That language in the Constitution, like the 3/5ths rule and the Second Amendment, is a remnant of the desire of slaveholders to protect their interests by over-representing themselves in Congress.
So let's fix it, shall we? Maybe we could have a constitutional convention, and work a trade with the rural-tards and wingnuts: we get proportional representation in the Senate and they get a flag "desecration" amendment. I'd take that deal.
Sorry, my dog farted. No, wait… It's Nooman.
Dung Pile? Smelly, smelly Dung Pile?
Your Fido's fart would smell as good as a French bakery relative to the lethal cloud of noxious gas* that follows our most recent resident Poopyhead.
*Think three-day old squashed skunk on the road. In August, in Houston, with nary the slightest breeze, seven feet away from your broken down car. Oh, and your cell phone is dead.
I for one, do not want the chew-toy banned for anything he says. If it were possible to have his IP address banned from IntenseDebate for his serial downfisting (apparently with multiple accounts, and probably using automated scripts), I'd be all for that, since those are behaviors, and a violation of the site's TOS. Simply preventing him from commenting doesn't keep him from downfisting everyone from multiple accounts.
TL;DR: Don't ban him for what he's said, ban him for what he's done.
Sincerity, honesty and humility are all above the cybersphere. There is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about here. When I lost my lonely quest into middle management last year and looked at the suicidal button — as down as I ever was — I always checked back into the Wonkette Hotel. And I'm good now; it turned out to be a ebolic monkee off my back. So hang in there y'all.
I met a few fellow Wonkateers at the Halloween gathering at the Hunt Club last year. And I'm here to tell you they are REAL people. Funny and genuine and struggling and humble in person as they are here under their monikers.
For 2.5 years now I have found solace, humor and intelligence at this site. Fuck it, I'm more likely to say I'm a Wonkette partisan than a green, atheist, Capitalistic pig-dog hating full blown American.
So I'll say it here, as I did last year, we live in the greatest and safest times in all of humankind. Fuck 9/11, it's July 4th, you guys rock and…..
Firecracker, Firecracker, Boom, Boom, Boom.
Damn right we're real people. Do you think a corporation could be this snarky yet supportive? No matter that the 4 assholes and Anthony Kennedy, the human yo-yo say otherwise about the "personhood" of Exxon-Mobil.
Dewey asked me to stage an intervention or something. I responded with a thesis that I had to break into parts to post. It's between you and Dewey, a couple or responses above this one, and I hope makes sense.
Part 1: Dewey–Sorry it took me so long to respond to this. I don't know whether to address this to you or owluser, so Ithink in the beginning that someone with 35 years on the program didn't have much for me because it was impossible to imagine not drinking that long. There was another woman, however, who had 30 days or something, maybe less, and in the meeting I clung to her words because that was something I could envision. So, Dewey, don't count yourself out where advice or at least moral support comes in.
I wish I could say it gets better, just hang in there, because at 35 years it should be easy. Not so. The greatest advantage I have, however, is that my first response to any little bump in the road (like the Teabagglicans wrecking our already faltering economy and Barry taking the rap for it) is no longer to have a drink. In fact, it doesn't even make a blip on my radar. But wine with dinner, a cold beer on a hot day, yeah, that still seems like a nice thing that I would do if I could.
I don't know if it helps, but I'll recount what my first few days were like and maybe you can find a little hope and perhaps some advice that will be useful to both Dewey and Owls:
I had a particularly grisly and humiliating experience totally the result of drinking (which I had done alcoholically since I was 16. Just had a harder time finding it back then so I couldn't have been a maintenance drinker but that was the only reason that I wasn't). I was living with someone who was pissed at my adventure which included a near-miss rape (I hope you're grateful. That's the first time I've ever come out and said that, even to my counselor or at AA).
I made an appointment with a Group Health counselor and went to see her and filled out that "signs you're an alcoholic" questionnaire but didn't answer yes to one question, which I assumed meant I wasn't actually an alcoholic. Then I found out that filling in even one was a sign you were. Bummer.
She kind of laid it out for me in pretty graphic terms. I said, "I just want to get back to being able to have a little wine with dinner" and she gave me the bad news on that one. I said I just didn't think I wanted to go that far and she said to put that awful night on one side of scale and that glass of wine on the other.
Look above to Dewey for part 2
Continued from part 2, above, on Dewey's.
Part three: So then the first year was behind me. So was the man I was with when I quit. I got involved in a pinko church same denomination (loosely) that I was raised in. That took some thinking and talking as well, because along with all the other kind of shit I'd passed on being more mature about, spirituality had suffered. Everyone has to work that one out for themselves, so pass on any group member who tells you sugar is bad, or Jesus is great, or whatever. Fuck 'em. You're working your program, not theirs.
Let's see . . . what else . . . Oh, yeah. You're going to piss off your family once in a while because you need a meeting a hell of a lot more than you need a kiddie movie. My husband, his kids and our kid have never seen me drunk. But when the old man said sanctimoniously (his ex is still drinking, 35 years after their divorce) "I feel like you're doing this for me.," he meant it as encouraging but I straightened him out immediately. Hurt his feelings at first, I think because he wanted to be a part of my recovery, but he wasn't. No one was but me, so fuck him, too.
And that's what it takes. Fuck 'em. This is you. My only real advice besides eating sweets (the only thing about it I miss) is that you really should suck it up and go to meetings. Other people may have more appealing solutions, the assholes who claim you can learn to do control drinking, but they're wrong. AA is the only thing that has worked and has lasted. Shit advice, I know, but there it is, all the same. Time to get down and dirty with reality, no matter how much it sucks.
Be prepared to have some of your friends drop or otherwise avoid you. to say things like, "You mean you can't even have a beer?" One, you always can,that's not the issue. Second, those are the people who are alcoholics themselves and the fact you faced up to it means that maybe they have a problem but they don't want to think about that so losing you is easier than facing up to their own sucky reality.
It gets better, yadayadayada. Small comfort today, right this minute. Just don't drink and do what you have to in order to stay sober at this moment in your life. Protect yourself. Fuck anyone who doesn't get it.
Having written a thesis, I hope this helps or that you even know I tried to help. I'm not sure either you or Dewey will read this.
And sorry to the rest of wonkeratti for using so much space for something personal but fuck you, too, if you have an issue with it.
DBB
I'm joining in with sparklers.
And just for the record, when I refer to anything I've read here I always say, "One of My People said …" My brother once asked me for clarification and I said, "You know … they're just people like me." To which he replied, "I'm glad you finally found them."
We're kind of like Callahan's Crosstime Saloon, only with a lot more assfucking.
In AA, your higher power can be the power of the group. Getting sober is rarely successful as a do-it-yourself project. Yes, you will have to listen to many people who believe "God" is their HP and they're not shy about saying so, but even most of them say, "my higher power, whom I CHOOSE to call God." On the other hand, there are MANY AAs who are agnostic or atheist and you're smart enough to be able to spot them a mile away. The main tenet of AA is taking sobriety one day at a time, not praying to a god to be relieved of your urges.
When my friends send loved ones to a treatment center, they sometimes ask me how they can help or how they can tell if it's working.
I'm from Old School AA where drunks weren't mollycoddled. Although we also didn't send people away by telling them, "You haven't hit bottom yet. Come back when you're really ready to do this." Back in the founding days, they were truly tough.
So, I tell them there is no way to help other than the obvious–don't keep booze around, definitely no beer in the refrigerator. and get ready for the fact the soberee is likely to be wacko for a while, both because they're going to be toxic for a long time plus, when you spend years getting drunk instead of facing problems and challenges, you don't mature normally. I kind of consider myself finally past the second thing, and I joined AA 35 years ago.
As to staying sober, I tell them that if the soberee keeps going to AA, they have a chance. But as soon as they say the words, "I don't need to go because they just say the same thing over and over," that means said loved one has started driinking again, or will soon, because "they can handle it now."
Like I said, I'm old school. No need to believe in God or Jesus. The local AA group is at a halfway house that's big into Cowboy Church and they preach that Jesus is keeping them sober and clean, which is utter bullshit. You are doing this for yourself. NO ONE ELSE! Get it? Tell your family. THIS IS FOR YOURSELF!!! Why do I insist on this? Because if you're doing it for your wife or kid or job, whether you realize it or not (probably not) you're giving yourself an excuse to drink again. You can blame your wife for being a bitch, your kid for resisting bedtime so hard it's driving you crazy, etc. Trust me on this. If you're a drunk, if you can find someone to blame, you will because it excuses you for having "just one."
AA went through a fucking goofy period when people kept bragging about how long they'd been off sugar. In one case, it was the sugar that triggered drinking. So is the dumb bitch gave into the urge for a
Snicker's, it wasn't her fault, it was sugar.
I wouldn't be sober today if it weren't for AA and Reese Peanut Butter Cups. Yeah, I go to church but not back then. Had trouble with that Higher Power thing until my sponsor gave the same advice you got earlier. Do you believe the group has more power than you do alone? Fine. That's your higher power.
Anyway, that's enough. I'm always here to help. Not a day goes back when I don't remember something painful and embarrassing about my drinking days and long months that followed staying sober and still making an ass of myself. Now I have wonkette for that.
I get that. I just wasn't looking forward to having to debate it. I wasn't trying to disparage the AA in general, and I'm certainly not trying to do it alone.
So far, tonight, the "power of the group" has been extremely empowering. It just happens to be a different group.
Follow-up thought: I'm the one who went in seeking help. It would be foolish of me to ask for someone's expert opinion and then not listen to it. If the therapist recommends that I start attending group, then I will do that, and I will do it with a good attitude. To do otherwise would demonstrate that I wasn't really serious.
This is new, frightening, unfamiliar territory, and I have some apprehensions. But that doesn't mean that I'm going to scoff at the help that is offered.
If we had a constitutional convention every nut-bag would come out of the woodwork. We would be lucky to limit the ideas to the proportional representation-flag desecration range.
V572, won't there be the problem with the flag "desecration" being, like porn, that it is in the eye of the beholder? Back in the day you could arrested for wearing the flag. Today it seems that and other 'offenses' are kosher, at least for real patriots and
not hippie scumthe loyalz.Same down here in the desert valley I occupy, but warmer–106°, near 50% humidity. I realize folks back east deal with much higher humidity, but we're only used to single-digits–nearly kills us every time…
About 25 years ago I had AA forced upon me by a well-meaning (or sadistic) judge. As it turns out, it was more like I was forced upon AA, I didn't feel particularly welcome there. The seeds were planted, though, and eventually the idea that I was the problem, not the rest of the world, took root. Everything works better when it's your own damned idea, so 22 years ago next week I decided, on my own, mind you, that I was a drunk and should maybe not drink anymore. What I'm trying to say here, is any reason you find to not drink anymore is a valid reason, any method you choose is (or can be) the right one, and I wish you all the best.
One more thing–it's still perfectly acceptable to joke about drinking vodka in the morning, even if you do not drink vodka at all, ever.
Mrs. weejee is over thirty years sober, but even today for her it is one day at a time as life, even sober life, will throw you in the ditch from time-to-time. We're with ya fellah.
Just brought you back to +1. When I think of McDownfisty I try to think of the pain this individual must be in, that downfisting and attacking are so satisfying to it, and that is how it spends the bulk of its time. Then I try to visualize sending it love and light. Sometimes I even succeed. In sending it. Don't know if it is capable of receiving it.
I know, right? I mean he caught us being openly cruel, insensitive and intolerant out in the open! Now he's got tangible proof of what savages we are when someone exposes a vulnerability.
Oh, and another thing: When are we going to ban-hammer everyone admits to a weakness. As evidenced in this thread, we must suppress and brutalize, right? Right??
Take the high road, weej. Troll is simply confirming what we already knew to be true about him.
He's shone a light on all us liberal cockroaches, and revealed our true nature.
must…suppress….compassion
Remember, folks, except when he's commenting, he's not reading the threads anyway. The fact that he and his alternate accounts are downfisting even here is partial evidence that he's using an automated script; the better evidence is that comments often go to "0" within seconds of being posted.
If there were any humans in charge at IntenseDebate, his IP address would be blocked for TOS violations. Lucky for him, the entire system appears to be running without anyone at the controls, like the spaceship in that old Harlan Ellison TV series, The Starlost.
Bring it on! If the representation at the convention is truly proportional – which the incumbents would fight like hell to prevent – the nutbags would be shouted down.
You described the downfister well. He's unencumbered by the thought process. What a great way to go through life–thought-free, compassion-free, and hiding behind an alias. What a waste of star-created protoplasm.
I'm not using a script.
I read most if not all posts – I can read quite fast with good comprehension.
He says he's not using a script. That's EXACTLY what a script would say, if he were trying to pass a Turing test. I say we take him out back and insert something non-syntactic into him.
Let ‘em have the symbolic crap – birth’o’Jeebus dioramas on the lawn at city hall, arcane arguments about whether Lee Greenwood is a traitor or a patriot – while we allow the adults to decide what the top tax rate should be and whether wars of contractor-enrichment or oedipal-aggrandizement are worth fighting or not.
Did you buy a special, genuine Michale-Moore-approved libunatic internet odor detection kit from an advertiser here?
$19.95 plus shi**ing and handling?
Or, is your impossible olfactory talent based on the type of fabrication, fantasy, and hatred that are endemic to libunacy?
Ah, Poopy le Pew, such a cogent and relevant direct response to my expression of curiosity about your heroically tolerant self-description as an agent of social cleansing. Your clarity, ist schwindelerregend!
Alas, the impermeable bubble of stench in which you dwell ist auch schwindelerregende.
Like your heroes in Guatemala? Eh Poopy-Doopy?
My sympathies to you on your profound case of anencephaly. I hope that someday, science will find a cure.
Internet Spielzeug scheinen verbessert Ihre Lebensqualität enorm sein.
My sympathies to you on your profound case of anuscephaly. Don't hold your breath until Obamacare finds a cure.
You could buy an awful lot of shouting with Koch dollars.
I needed that, and deserved it. I was being a brat.
I'll admit that I had some preconceptions about AA, based on no evidence. I've never been; I don't know anyone who has been. Blame Hollywood. But you and jukesgrrl made some unrebuttable points. You are right. You are both right. And I'm taking your advice.
One of the characteristics of us liberals is that, when confronted with new information, we can change our positions and admit that we hadn't considered the case from all the necessary angles.
DBB — I need your help. Well, User of Owls needs your help. He's on day 6, and he's really suffering. And he's tired of hearing platitudes and "it'll get better soon".
I'm only one month into the sobriety thing, and I don't really know how to help someone else yet. I could easily say exactly the wrong thing, something that could send him back to the beginning. I now know why They caution us against trying to help others before we're ready. We need your experience. I'm sorry to put you on the spot like this.
I posted to both of you on the Scott Walker thread to User owls. I have to break the into parts because ID said it was too long, so I'll see what I can do or email to your pretend person email from my pretend person email.
Oops. Not on Scott walker. Just on this one.
Dewey asked me to stage an intervention or something. I responded with a thesis, which I'm trying to post though it's too long to fit here. So I have to try to break it up. Or send to your pretend email from my pretend email.
Here goes, part one, see the user link two responses below.
Okay,
You're going to have to read the two responses below this, but then two or so more responses down for the first part of my thesis.
Part 2:
I was in a pretty hostile environment at a temporary grant-funded job that they weren’t going to even request that they have extended (wonder if it had anything to do with the attendance and hours issues) and sat at my desk, scraping my fingernails against the wooden desk. I felt like fine sandpaper was rubbing against the ends of every nerve in my body. When I thought I couldn't stand it, I ran across the street and grabbed a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. I was worried about weight gain but the counselor said that anyone drinking the quantity I was would be reducing my sugar content so dramatically that candy wouldn't be an issue. She was right. I lost 10 lbs.
To make myself feel better when I went to lunch or dinner with people and everyone else was having a cocktail (this was the 70s, when massive alcohol consumption was not frowned upon) or a glass of wine, I would have dessert. I enjoyed the glances I got from other women, enviously wondering how I always ate dessert but didn't gain weight. I like the feeling of smugness.
What I'm saying here, is do what it takes to stay sober. Candy? Fuck, yeah. Refuse to go visit you inlaws, and not because they make you want to get drunk but because fuck, makes you feel better. Find substitutes. Find shit that makes you feel good you wouldn't allow yourself to do otherwise.
I used iced tea as my beverage of choice. I hate soft drinks. The only fizz I want in beverage is the kind you get in champagne or beer. I drank gallons of iced tea. It was a substitute. Something to have in my hand, to drink with meals, that wasn't alcohol.
This is shit you might not get in AA meetings, but this is the kind of crap I discussed with the counselor and worked out for myself. You should find yours.
As to those AA meetings I attended: the counselor really pushed me to do it. Get a home meeting to anchor me then do as many extra meetings as I could. It seemed crazy at first. I wasn't sure I believed in God and since I was doing it at old Fremont in Seattle, a giant AA meeting hub, full of people I would call losers, there just weren't a lot of people like me. Hence, my reference to my graduate degree and the kind of "better" person I was, which is what I was kind of saying back then.
I got a sponsor who was pretty intellectual, though we had a falling out later, but she helped me with a couple of bumps and one late night call. I also called the Crisis Line one night, very late. Sometimes it's easier to talk to a nameless, faceless stranger. He talked me down that night. I was feeing the burden of being such a model recovering alcoholic and he basically something like, "maybe you should not be such a model right now. Just let yourself feel bad" or something, just reduce expectations but stay sober. Be sloppy and self-pitying and angry, if that's what I was feeling. It was okay.
As for the greater power thing, I just used the advice of my sponsor and let me force of the group et al be my greater power and that got me through the first year, which was fine.
Now look down to Owls again for the third part. Each word golden, I'm sure.
Hey sponsor-of-owls, once again I am brought to tears by your persistence kindness and concern. In an odd way, I hope I am doing you a bit of service if by nothing else than giving you a "god, don't want to be back there again" push from behind. Just about exactly seven days. Sober. I just can't get it to sound like a big deal at all, and I suppose that's from whence the malaise. It's not despair, I don't think, but whatever toxic brew of pain and shame and mental illness I kept submerged with the bottle is airing out now and it just plain stinks. Seven lousy days. Ok, now I'm just whining, pity-fishing. I'll do this just so I can say FUCK YOU to it later on, but right now it's the one with the pliers on my balls. Don't worry greatly for me, ok friend? I have the number and i WILL use it if and when I need to, ok? You've become part of the discourse around here ("Where'd you hear about this thiamine thing? Oh, Dewey, I see") and you've become a rock for me emotionally. Keep doing us all proud and, selfishly, keep telling little tidbits from the 'what is better now' front, ok? abrazos carinosos mi heroe…el buho luchando.
Oh, you have done and are doing me a great service. You are demonstrating great "leadership from behind". And yes, it's nice, in an extremely selfish kind of way, to know that I don't need that ativan anymore.
And I'm sorry I had to bring in the big guns. I was having a "ZOMG I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I'M DOING I COULD BE MAKING IT WORSE I SHOULD JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP WHAT IF I INADVERTENTLY SAY SOMETHING THAT PUSHES HIM OVER THE EDGE?!?!?" moment, and it feels rather selfish in retrospect, but I was genuinely worried.
Seven days is a big deal to me, and an even bigger deal to you (but don't go running around campus boasting about it just yet. At one month, I finally had the confidence to tell one of the predoctoral scotch-beneficiaries about it, on the condition that he not tell anyone else (especially the Dean!).
I love you. Thanks.
And you're totally right about the meetings. The meetings are great. I picked up a copy of the Big Book for $3 at a second-hand store (plenty of those floating around, it seems). Some of it applies, some of it doesn't, and some of it is uncannily accurate.
Step One, I'm told, can easily take a year, if I'm doing it right.
And you and the book both agree that I should absolutely be eating this bowl of ice cream with nutty bars right now, so that's what I will do. Good night.
I can only speak for myself, but hearing your story helps incredibly. Now that I know more about the sickness that we're dealing with, hearing a long-term success story such as yours makes even more sense. I'm attending meetings today precisely because of that original ass-kicking you gave me, when I was feeling sorry for myself. And the 30-odd-year veterans that I've met there have so much wisdom and experience that, if they don't specifically invite me to say something, I'm happy just to listen to them go all night (and they seem happy to do it!).
So thank you again for coming back in yet another moment of my despair.
Never worry about that, amigo. Just be real like you always are…makes it easier to connect…to see into the future by a month or so. When balanced with, "Oh fuck, it's only 530pm. How am I gonna get to 630pm?", it's very very helpful. One week. Seems so puny, though part of me knows it's significant. See the head mechanic today, wonder how that will go. Take care my friend…you keep pulling, i'll keep pushing!
Okay. I've snapped out of *my* self-pity session, now, too. I'm sorry about that; I guess it doesn't really get easier. The problems just change form and become less frequent, would be a more accurate way of putting it.
How did it go with the mechanic?
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