You’re welcome, Minnesota: picknickers have been evacuated from state parks because the government has finally shut down, and no one will get to enjoy those precious twelve or so days a year that Minnesotans are not under fifteen feet of snow. It already feels like winter again! We will keep calling it the “Loon State,” but at this point just because of its politicians. Governor Mark Dayton’s last offer included raising taxes on the top 0.3% of taxpayers, which the Republicans counter-offered with, uh, let’s delay another $700 million in payments to schools. Good idea? But everyone hated all those ideas, so the drumbeat of closure went and rolled on down through the state:
As the negotiators toiled over the details, more than 23,000 workers prepared for life without paychecks and the state began shooing people from state campgrounds and closing rest areas. Even before the shutdown, Minnesotans got an early peek at the inconvenience from the mothballing of many state services. Minnesotans could no longer check if their optometrists, barbers or veterinarians had valid licenses to practice. Licensing board offices and various other state agencies pulled the plug on their agency websites hours before the scheduled shutdown.
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I imagine retailers in Minnesota are about to have a really shitty weekend, way to stimulate the economy Repubs!
I don't think so. Best Buy and Target were quite in favor of smaller government (and executing gays) last election, so I imagine that having no government should make them quite happy.
Target security is now your local law and order.
Retailers can't possibly prosper ever again, because of the Cash For Clunkers program two years ago. Really, keep up with the comments.
Will anyone miss it?
Someone needs to dump some Penicillin into the Republican water cooler. If their syphilis has advanced so far that they can't make rational decisions anymore then someone has to step in and help them.
You suggesting a wintervention?
Does this mean that Bachmannn and T-Paw are shut down too?
Lok at it as a blessing. No more pictures of Bachmann and her husband dancing until they get the prints back from CVS.
Can't help but think of all the lost revenue they will lose on this long holiday weekend. Another brilliant plan!
The revenue lost this weekend will pale in comparison to the revenue lost by firms in the used auto industry (including companies that deal in parts, repairs, sales, etc.) in the months leading up to, during, and after the Cash for Clunkers program.
Basically the entire used car industry was frozen for several months as people tried to figure out what was going on. A lot of these businesses are small and didn't have the resources to survive. I wonder how many people Barry bankrupted with his failed program?
All of them, Katie.
57 States.
~
60 states
Altered States.
ACORNS for Clunkers! ACORNS for Clunkers!!
You mean the retread Republican strategy?
“This was not the first program of its kind. In 1992, former President George H.W. Bush developed his own "cash for clunkers" plan, touting it as a market-based approach to environmental policy. Another such program proved to be a huge success among consumers across Europe after it was introduced in late 2008.”
Just Barry being bipartisan as usual.
Republican policies are never good policies when implemented by black people, silly.
But just think how nice it will be for the surviving businesses when those formerly new cars come on the used car market in a few years. What a bonus!
How many did Obama bankrupt? Probably none. Somebody forgot to tell you that this conservative trope ("Cash for Clunkers will destroy the used car market!") was supposed to be retired a year or so ago after it proved to be completely false.
A Rightard Canuck! Wow, whodathunkit?
I am suspecting the avatar might be satirical.
Show me one "conservative" columnist that has ever done real satire. I dare you.
Rightards don't get sarcasm, that's why they love Stephen Colbert.
By the name, one who died from AIDS many years ago.
Difficult to tell in this thread, but this is a reply to Madfall's comment about the avatar.
Somehow I can't snark about that.
He's making a tasteless joke about the Canadian Flight Attendant who was tarred with starting the AIDS epidemic.
Jeez, these are a bunch of twisted fucks, ain't they?
Golly, I wonder if this comment could inspire some idiot to make a completely nonsequitur reply about some short-term federal program from two years ago that has absolutely nothing to do with the Minnesota govt shutdown?
Oh, come on, that's absurd. Only a moron would do that.
It's just dog farts.
It's almost like Republicans are just begging to have their testicles crushed at the ballot box in 2012.
Minnesotans could no longer check if their optometrists, barbers or veterinarians had valid licenses to practice.
You don't need a state to do that kind of stuff. Rand Paul will be happy to certify them.
Sample question:
Do you hate Big Bad Government and are you a Christian?
Yes.
You're good to go!*
*By agreeing with this you void the right to complain about corporate overlords or the other secret government
What a bunch a fucking assholes. Wonkette has had some depressing news today. Thankfully Latin Woman with Chili pepper and Blond Slut with Gherkin are there to help me through the day.
"Shooing" people? Hell, I misread that as "shooting" people and got my slaughterboner all riled up for nothing.
We will keep calling it the “Loon State”
Too late. They already privatized the Loons.
As we have seen, the Loons get on buses and tour America.
The very first thing I do before getting a haircut is to check the validity of my barber's license.
You know I went to my barber and he wouldn't shave me. I asked why don't barbers shave people any more? He said "because of AIDS". I then stated "well you bleed OUT. Like boxers with AIDS, there is no risk really". He looked at with a sort of "well you caught me" and then said in a whisper "seriously, no one want's to do it anymore. It takes to long to shave someone". I don't know why I brought that up other than that's the whole reason for a barber's license…The shave, and now they don't offer it. Fuckin' lazy ass holes.
Clearly, we need the federal government to step in and make it so that barbers MUST shave people, even when the customer doesn't want a shave.
Oh, and the wealthy should of course pay for it.
I purchased one shave in 1950 something. The knife in my pocket was sharper. I didn't know if I could stand the pain but he scraped most of it off and I escaped with my life. Never again!
If you can find a guy willing to do it they are great. It's just hard to find a barber to do them anymore. I've been reduced to telling them that "I'm going to pop the question at dinner tonight". It works but only for 5 or 6 times then they wise up to that shtick.
You are either a lot tougher or a lot luckier than me. I would accept either or both answers.
They only believe that line if you're named Newt.
They use leaches today for bleeding, not barbers. It's is part of Repubelican modern medicine and their anti-science crusade.
Mark Twain on barbers:
I have had another shave. I was writing in our front room this afternoon and trying hard to keep my attention on my work and refrain from looking out upon the canal. I was resisting the soft influences of the climate as well as I could, and endeavoring to overcome the desire to be indolent and happy. The boys sent for a barber. They asked me if I would be shaved. I reminded them of my tortures in Genoa, Milan, Como; of my declaration that I would suffer no more on Italian soil. I said "Not any for me, if you please."
I wrote on. The barber began on the doctor. I heard him say:
"Dan, this is the easiest shave I have had since we left the ship."
He said again, presently:
"Why Dan, a man could go to sleep with this man shaving him."
Dan took the chair. Then he said:
"Why this is Titian. This is one of the old masters."
I wrote on. Directly Dan said:
"Doctor, it is perfect luxury. The ship's barber isn't any thing to him."
My rough beard was distressing me beyond measure. The barber was rolling up his apparatus. The temptation was too strong. I said:
"Hold on, please. Shave me also."
I sat down in the chair and closed my eyes. The barber soaped my face, and then took his razor and gave me a rake that well nigh threw me into convulsions. I jumped out of the chair: Dan and the doctor were both wiping blood off their faces and laughing.
I said it was a mean, disgraceful fraud.
They said that the misery of this shave had gone so far beyond any thing they had ever experienced before, that they could not bear the idea of losing such a chance of hearing a cordial opinion from me on the subject.
It was shameful. But there was no help for it. The skinning was begun and had to be finished. The tears flowed with every rake, and so did the fervent execrations. The barber grew confused, and brought blood every time. I think the boys enjoyed it better than any thing they have seen or heard since they left home.
The Innocents Abroad
This will definitely get people excited about voting for T-Paw.
The invisible hand, only with scissors!
Successful lobbying by Big Hair, obviously.
Gretchen Carlson, more like.
No parks will stay open? 1,0000,000,000…Minnesotan mosquitoes haz a collective sad.
This is the home state of Tim Pawlenty and Michelle Bachmann. They're talking about barber-surgeons. No leeching or balancing bodily humors without a license.
A sticky bun at the Chatterbox Café would be welcomed.
Union curbs rescue a Wisconsin school district
"This is a disaster," said Mark Miller, the Wisconsin Senate Democratic leader, in February after Republican Gov. Scott Walker proposed a budget bill that would curtail the collective bargaining powers of some public employees. Miller predicted catastrophe if the bill were to become law — a charge repeated thousands of times by his fellow Democrats, union officials, and protesters in the streets.
Now the bill is law, and we have some very early evidence of how it is working. And for one beleaguered Wisconsin school district, it's a godsend, not a disaster.
The Kaukauna School District, in the Fox River Valley of Wisconsin near Appleton, has about 4,200 students and about 400 employees. It has struggled in recent times and this year faced a deficit of $400,000. But after the law went into effect, at 12:01 a.m. Wednesday, school officials put in place new policies they estimate will turn that $400,000 deficit into a $1.5 million surplus. And it's all because of the very provisions that union leaders predicted would be disastrous.
In the past, teachers and other staff at Kaukauna were required to pay 10 percent of the cost of their health insurance coverage and none of their pension costs. Now, they'll pay 12.6 percent of the cost of their coverage (still well below rates in much of the private sector) and also contribute 5.8 percent of salary to their pensions. The changes will save the school board an estimated $1.2 million this year, according to board President Todd Arnoldussen."
Take that teachers!!!
Rave on, catshit; you'll be covered.
Hahahaha — Byron York, factual and objective news vector. He did mention that teachers will have to work longer hours and for less pay, but of course they probably like it that way.
Oh, hey, I said this elsewhere, but it fits here, too: It doesn't matter if government employees suffer. In fact, they should be made to suffer, simply for working for the government. GOOD people don't collaborate, after all.
Ah, so you are in favor of increasing expenses on the average worker so that hte rich can have their private planes. Good for you.
TL,DR, but downfisted anyway. Sometimes ya can just tell.
Really, the Washington Examiner? What's next, off-topic links to the Weekly World News? Maybe the "libunatics" are in league with Batboy!
If they're cutting my fucking hair, I sure as hell want them licensed. Do YOU want a random barber with a razor near YOUR nads?
It's Obama's fault that I stubbed my toe on the coffee table. You see Obama MADE my lil' lady (through his Sorros/Tides/Acorn/Commie plot) move it 5 inches from where it used to be after vacuuming under it.
You left out Ayers.
Ahhhhhh. Glenn, eventhough I never saw your show you will be missed for snarks sake.
And the coming Caliphate!
Full-grown Dill, youbetcha!
Maybe MN needs a stimulus program.
Fed's Massive Stimulus Had Little Impact: Greenspan
Maybe you can troll with quotes from someone who is not a complete moron when it comes to economics and helped cause the current recession?
Saw that headline on Drudge yesterday, Gaetan — and when I looked at the story, it wasn't (if you can believe this) a reference to the stimulus (i.e. the Recovery Act) but to the Fed's quantitative easing program, which everyone knew was going to ease the money supply among banks borrowing from each other, but not much else. Also it's cute that people are still paying attention to anything Alan Greenspan has to say — remember when that failed Randian went before Congress and admitted his views on deregulation (that it was good for the economy) were utter failures? No? Here, then: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIHLezCyzCI
Careful Wooks, you're going to confuse the sad troll. What with facts and all.
"Why the Stimulus Failed: Fiscal policy cannot exnihilate new demand "
"Outgoing Obama Aide Admits: Stimulus Failed Because We Didn't Understand The Recession
That first essay is a classic example of the mathematical bankruptcy of the voodooist post-Keynesian conservatives. Reidl first lumps the $787 billion ARRA in with the $800 billion TARP and then blames President Obama for $1.6 trillion of "failed stimulus spending" — so strike one right there.
Next he argues that government borrowing to create jobs necessarily displaces the same number of existing jobs from the economy, resulting in zero net job growth — which of course is only true during full employment. As you may recall, we were not fully employed in January of 2009.
Reidl also neglects that a Keynesian approach would not involve running up huge deficits in times of prosperity, as Dubya did with his tax cuts for the rich, unfunded wars, unfunded Medicare Part D and other odious giveaways. When you're prosperous, you pay off what you owe, and then you can borrow in times of crisis. The GOP hobbled any chance of successful recovery years ago, and has continued to hobble every effort to fix things since.
Damn you Wookie, with your facts and book learing.
Next you are going to tell me that Paul Revere didn't take his hovercar to Concord New Hampshire to warn John Wayne Gacy that Georeg Sorros was coming to impose Sharia law.
Stop it with the facts right now, you bitch.
When will you nibble on the Eat Me Cake and turn into "Peace in our Time" again? Now THAT dude brings the libunaticooltronic laughter.
Greenspan?
The Republican hack who worshipped Ayn Rand?
The guy who thought there was no need for the government to regulate fraud?
WHO THE FUCK GIVES A RATS ASS WHAT THIS STUPID IDIOT SAYS???????
So much for that +105 on the Twins tonight.
Does this mean the skeeters will get furloughed?
It's CLASS WARFARE!!! Ruling Class vs. history, math, and science class.
I'm sure the Republicans know what they are doing. This way they can spend the whole holiday weekend popping Viagra and driving around drunk without have to worry about the state police. It is what God intended.
I think you may have something there.
baconz, you know better than to argue with Spanky2 or his clones.
Point and laugh, or ignore him. Facts mean nothing to him, that's why he's still a wingnut keyboard warrior at this point in history.
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What is this bullshit with cops and prison guards still working? Hello, government does *nothing* useful. Shut the whole damn thing down or go the fuck home.
"Tim Pawlenty said that he wished the 2005 government shutdown he presided over would have lasted longer, and that the paralysis underway now in the state could be a good thing.", even though it will cost 24.3 million to the state per week and cause 10's of thousands of state workers to become unemployed. He goes on to say “There’s going to be a variety of near-term impacts, but the longer-term goal is what is most important here, which is keeping the size of government under control."
Pawlenty, the GOP anarchy candidate.
http://www.theatlanticwire.com/politics/2011/07/t...
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0711/58192.h...
It doesn't matter if government employees suffer. In fact, they should be made to suffer, simply for working for the government. GOOD people don't collaborate with the oppressor, after all.
You know, there's probably some federal buildings out there that are still vulnerable to a good-sized Ryder truck full of fertilizer and fuel oil… just thinkin' out loud, there.
Oh, I dunno. If someone is waving stabby things around near my eyes, I think I'd like to know they aren't prone to the herky jerkies.
I thought the Sarah/Bristol book signing at Mall of America would have fixed this by now.
Is it still considered "going Galt" if a state government does it?
I get them shaved by that homeless guy on 3rd Street.
(Waxed, actually)
Usually I have the schnauzer do it, because I know he's licensed. And current on rabies vax.
"rest areas"? Won't someone think of the underage gay hookers?
I'm stunned the Republicans weren't. Now they have to make alternate plans for the three-day weekend. Maybe even (gasp) hang out with their families.
I guess they have to move to the truck stops!
It arrests the process, but does not reverse the damage.
Sorry, Rush…
Hopefully, another bridge in MN will collapse just when the GOP coffee klatch caravans over to the City to watch fireworks..
Minnesudan.
"If you save the auto industry by incenting people to buy new cars, you'll decimate the thriving and vibrant used car industry!!" Is this troll a fucking mouth-breathing idiot, or what?
Fortunately, all the women are strong.
They figured the Anthony Weiner shots should carry you through to fall.
Barber-surgeons?
Theodoric of York
I think I'm too paranoid now, anyway. I've seen Sweeney Todd too many times.
Ayn Rand would of drowned Jeebus fetus and the state in the same bath tub.
Or Bachmannizing.
Sharp object near jugular==some minimal qualification
Maybe it's just me.
Now, making hair braiders be licensed, that's idiotic.
Reality is an illusion or at the very least, a crutch for those who can't handle their drugs.
I should have said an attempt at satire.
That's being generous.
Amazing! Trust me, I am a totally twisted fuck, but these people take my breath away.
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