SHE SAID IT FIRST  3:56 pm June 30, 2011

Michele Bachmann Reminds Everyone She Won’t Mud Wrestle Sarah Palin

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

stop thinking about this immediately.Okay fine, Michele Bachmann, we will go ahead and picture you and Sarah Palin together NOT having a big sexytime mud fight, but only because YOU MADE US DO IT. “They want to see two girls come together and have a mud wrestling fight,” Bachmann said of herself and Palin, out of absolutely nowhere. We are not sure why Michele Bachmann is being sexist against herself? Maybe that is just how two professional, adult women resolve disputes in the Bachmann house? We do not (want to) know. But she has now publicly put that nauseating and tragically satisfying image into the world for every commentator to exploit free of recrimination, forever, since PRECEDENT.

From Politico:

“They want to see two girls come together and have a mud wrestling fight,” the Minnesota congresswoman said. “And I’m not going to give it to ‘em.”

The first question at a morning rally came from a woman who wanted to know if media reports of divisions between the two tea party darlings are true.

She said she has “great respect” for Palin.

America, we give you Michele Bachmann, the first presidential candidate to express “respect” for another female candidate by talking about fighting her in the mud. [Politico]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 208 comments }

nounverb911 June 30, 2011 at 3:58 pm

Now I have no reason to care about her anymore.

MrFizzy June 30, 2011 at 4:00 pm

There's only one thing that could make the two of them less appealing – wetness. In either sense.

Ohforcripessake June 30, 2011 at 4:33 pm

Ew! Now I have to wash out my brain with soap!

AJWjr. June 30, 2011 at 6:32 pm

Didn't make Orly any more appealing, either.

Negropolis July 1, 2011 at 1:48 am

I was thinking exactly the same thing. No, Michele. Do not flatter yourself; we do not want to see you and Saint Sarah any dirtier than you already are.

Madfall June 30, 2011 at 4:00 pm

This proclamation is going to savagely limit their earning options in a few years.

BaldarTFlagass June 30, 2011 at 4:01 pm

OT, but—I was informed by a helpful board member today that, when Intense Debate spazzed out for him and showed the funky 90s-style message board format with the gigantic font and weird little monster avatars, he found my board name and my email address down at the bottom of the page in the boxes where that information is required for adding a comment. I could not replicate this, and he informed me shortly thereafter that it was no longer there, but since he emailed me this information it’s obvious that he wasn’t making it up. No harm, no foul, but still, should this be happening? I don’t mind my p-ness going to zero now and then, or some of the other weird idiosyncrasies that Intense Debate sometimes exhibits, but having my email address out there for the world to see is a bit off the reservation. WTF?

Geminisunmars June 30, 2011 at 4:21 pm

Kind of like having a dream where you are giving a speech naked. What? You don't have dreams like that?

flamingpdog June 30, 2011 at 7:53 pm

I have dreams about Barb giving a speech naked.

MissTaken June 30, 2011 at 5:04 pm

I've noticed a couple of times when I go to comment it has spots underneath the comment box for me to put in my id to be displayed and my email address, which it says will not be displayed. Hmm.

proudgrampa June 30, 2011 at 5:49 pm

This shouldn't be happening. I've always been concerned that this Intense Debate thingy has a number of "idiosyncrasies," as you put it, "bugs," as I call it.

Having been in the software development industry for years, I know that programming errors as you describe are all too common. Just wish the Intense Debate people would give us some assurance that they are doing everything they can to protect our identities.

assistantatlas June 30, 2011 at 6:01 pm

Um, why were you using an actual email address of yours? People, that's why you create secret identities with their own email addresses–fake throwaway email addresses: they're what Hotmail (and increasingly, Yahoo) are for…

Don't trust and then you don't have to verify, either.

YasserArraFeck June 30, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Mud Libel!!

ifthethunderdontgetya June 30, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Damn you!

I was just about to…
~

Chet Kincaid June 30, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Hitler Is Informed That There Will Be No Bachmann-Palin Mud-Wrestling Fight.

OneYieldRegular June 30, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Get. To. Work.

Lascauxcaveman June 30, 2011 at 5:08 pm

You know who else is informed that there will … oh, wait. Too late.

nounverb911 June 30, 2011 at 4:01 pm

"She said she has “great respect” for Palin."
She knows that Palin would have whooped her ass.

Redhead June 30, 2011 at 6:57 pm

methheads are scary in any kind of wrestling match, dude.

WinterOuthouse June 30, 2011 at 4:02 pm

So mud is out…

How about throwing shitty diapers at each other?

Jello?

Creamed corn?

OkieDokieDog June 30, 2011 at 4:06 pm

Only if the creamed corn is still in the can.

Trannysurprise June 30, 2011 at 4:17 pm

This sounds like porn that Vitter would pay to have made.

widestanceroman June 30, 2011 at 4:30 pm

Old school baked beans?

emmelemm June 30, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Ah, but a mud wrestling match between the two might settle the age-old question: Crazy-person strength vs. r*tard strength?

(Yes, I hate myself for the last bit. Thank you.)

AutomaticPilot June 30, 2011 at 4:09 pm

And I hate myself for laughing at it.

widestanceroman June 30, 2011 at 5:02 pm

Damn you for making me self-hate by upfisting you.

Lascauxcaveman June 30, 2011 at 5:10 pm

I thought it was funny, and I don't hate myself because I don't know which was supposed to to be which.

emmelemm June 30, 2011 at 5:18 pm

They both suffer some form of mental impairment, but I'd put Michele's strictly crazy-o-meter above Sarah's any time.

Redhead June 30, 2011 at 6:58 pm

Yes, but meth strength trumps all!

Biel_ze_Bubba July 1, 2011 at 7:15 am

'tard strength: "Strong as an ox and twice as smart."

MissusBarry June 30, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Mud wrestling match? Pass. Death match? How do I get tickets?

BaldarTFlagass June 30, 2011 at 4:02 pm

“And I’m not going to give it to ‘em.”

Because right now she knows she's winning.

AnarchyWolf June 30, 2011 at 4:14 pm

She's worried the barracuda will prove to be a more viable candidate.

DashboardBuddha June 30, 2011 at 4:02 pm

And there went my boner.

WinterOuthouse June 30, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Now I have to find another reason to get out of bed in the morning. Bitch

memzilla June 30, 2011 at 4:03 pm

I believe we now have the subject for our next Taiwanese animated video. Paging Ken! Oh, Ken.. ?

GOPCrusher June 30, 2011 at 4:42 pm

MTV needs to bring back Celebrity Deathmatch.

BaldarTFlagass June 30, 2011 at 4:03 pm

I'd like to see which one of them could toss a dwarf the farthest.

ChessieNefercat June 30, 2011 at 6:09 pm

I'd like to see which one of them could toss the other the farthest.

flamingpdog June 30, 2011 at 7:58 pm

I'd like to see which one of them would make me toss my cookies the farthest. Well, maybe not.

elviouslyqueer June 30, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Dick officially turtled forever.

YasserArraFeck June 30, 2011 at 4:03 pm

You can bet Mama Grizzly would "bring a rock to a mud fight"

Crazy Eyes is fucked.

OkieDokieDog June 30, 2011 at 4:04 pm

Will she mud wrestle Bristol? Didn't that bratty daughter of Palin's say something snotty about Bachmann?

Rotundo_ June 30, 2011 at 5:10 pm

Eww. Brisdull's badonkadonk is bad enough in a skirt, but in mud with ol' crazy eyes it would be grounds for the FCC to yank licenses if anyone broadcast it. As for the snotty part, who hasn't had something snotty said about them by Brisdull?

ifthethunderdontgetya June 30, 2011 at 4:04 pm

How about mittens, One L Michele?

Two goopers enter, one muddy Preznitial candidate leaves…
~

gullywompr June 30, 2011 at 4:04 pm

Mud wrestling is no where near what her base wants to see.

Billmatic June 30, 2011 at 4:04 pm

I mean I'd be ok with Bristol and her New Chin going up against Meaghan and her Big Boobs in an octagon full of mud but I'll pass on this one.

jaytingle June 30, 2011 at 4:05 pm

Note that she didn't rule out foxy boxing.

Radiotherapy® June 30, 2011 at 4:05 pm

Guess who says "uncle" first.

YasserArraFeck June 30, 2011 at 4:07 pm

"Michele Bachmann, aged 23, is the youngest ever Representative to serve in the US Congress…etc etc"
Among her myriad accomplishments, she was, in fact, her own foster child

elviouslyqueer June 30, 2011 at 4:13 pm

I'm surprised she didn't add that she was a Founding Mother.

not that Dewey June 30, 2011 at 5:51 pm

Which is more appropriate — foundering mother or floundering mother? I'll leave it to the Lit majors to sort this one out.

Fare la Volpe June 30, 2011 at 6:03 pm

Dr. Marcus loves it when she's a Pounding Mother.

GOPCrusher June 30, 2011 at 4:43 pm

And at age 23, she just disqualified herself to be President Of The United States.

GuyClinch June 30, 2011 at 4:07 pm

They can still beat the shit out of each other with metal folding chairs, though, right?

widestanceroman June 30, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Win.

GOPCrusher June 30, 2011 at 4:45 pm

Vince McMahon is lining up a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match for Wrestlemania XXVII

GuyClinch June 30, 2011 at 4:50 pm

His terrible wife Linda can get things rolling. Bloodied Michele Bachmann/Dented Metal Chair 2012!

ManchuCandidate June 30, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Why would she? Like the old "saying" goes when you wrestle in mud with a loser you become a loser.

Mish's got Bachmentum (till the next bullshit thing that comes out of her lying mouth) and Snowbilly Grifter's bus tour is turning into the farce everyone (but her braindead idiot supporters) thought it would be.

ifthethunderdontgetya June 30, 2011 at 4:08 pm

“They want to see two girls come together and have a mud wrestling fight,” the Minnesota congresswoman said.

What she did not add: "Based on emails from my campaign contributors…"
~

DerrickWildcat June 30, 2011 at 4:08 pm

I would like to see Bachman wrestle Poland.

Lascauxcaveman June 30, 2011 at 5:14 pm

I'd settle for her wrestling Andy Kaufman.

WinterOuthouse June 30, 2011 at 4:09 pm

Maybe Sarah isn't 'fresh' enough? Perhaps she needs to try Massengil disposable…

BaldarTFlagass June 30, 2011 at 4:15 pm

"Damn pesky flies! And why are those cats all following me?"

Rotundo_ June 30, 2011 at 5:14 pm

In the old National Lampoon they had a spoof "Negligent Mother Magazine" and one of the ads was for "Formula 747 Industrial Strength Douche" it came in 55 gallon drums. Something like that might get the dank and stank tamed down.

ttommyunger June 30, 2011 at 5:36 pm

A rancid Twinky? You've got Lindsey Graham's attention.

flamingpdog June 30, 2011 at 5:46 pm
ArmoredBore June 30, 2011 at 4:09 pm

100 Ameros says this has already been Rule 34'd

AnarchyWolf June 30, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Dunno about already, but I bet it's being worked on.

Chillwaver June 30, 2011 at 4:09 pm

They should wrestle in satorum instead.

Giveusabob June 30, 2011 at 4:19 pm

By which you mean the concealed essence of a satyr? Oooh, I believe I need to wash my mind out with soap now … and/or bleach.

gullywompr June 30, 2011 at 4:59 pm

I can't believe I'm actually upfisting you. I'm so ashamed.

PalinPussyPower June 30, 2011 at 4:59 pm

This is vile. Best idea I've heard all day.

Chillwaver June 30, 2011 at 5:45 pm

Thanks. It's so vile that I think I subconsciously misspelled "santorum."

flamingpdog June 30, 2011 at 5:48 pm

Downfisty would have let you know soon enough if you hadn't caught it.

Noman June 30, 2011 at 6:52 pm

Sry, snot psble 2 kep up w all the spel errz here

WinterOuthouse June 30, 2011 at 4:09 pm

Sarah out. How about Bristle? Will she fight the Bristle?????? Bristle will do it for CA$H

ChessieNefercat June 30, 2011 at 6:12 pm

"Bristle will do it for CA$H"

Or a wine cooler. Twice if you throw in some nylons and a piece of chocolate.

owhatever June 30, 2011 at 4:09 pm

Nooo! Michelle Batshit isn't allowed to quit the non-existent mud wrasslin match before Sarah. Nobody quits before The Snowbilly.

BornInATrailer June 30, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Fine. Scissor fight it is then.

Goonemeritus June 30, 2011 at 4:11 pm

If Sarah ever announced this pledge would be shorter lived then a Promise Keepers pledge on free wine cooler night.

chascates June 30, 2011 at 4:11 pm

Just the image of the two of them conversing together is disturbing enough. And they're both young enough to be public squawkers for decades to come. Can the Magic Space Giant just Rapture these two ahead of time?

weejee June 30, 2011 at 4:11 pm

Well if no mud, how about a pissing contest? Since they both are northern gals, how about seeing who can best write their name in the snow, and especially to neatly dot the i in their names.

BTW, for those of you whose mothers told you not to eat yellow snow, Rudolph and his fellow reindeer suggest otherwise.

WinterOuthouse June 30, 2011 at 4:12 pm

You know who else wouldn't mud wrestle?

fartknocker June 30, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Ann Coulter?

Radiotherapy® June 30, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Jesse Ventura?

Radiotherapy® June 30, 2011 at 4:22 pm

The Wehrmacht, circa October, 1941?

GunToting[Redacted] June 30, 2011 at 4:23 pm

Me?

widestanceroman June 30, 2011 at 4:34 pm

Walnuts?

bumfug June 30, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Michele and Sarah are way too classy for mud wrestling so they're going with the Roller Derby idea instead.

prommie June 30, 2011 at 4:13 pm

I don't want to see those two come together. But the mud wrestling, that could be fun, though I'd prefer Jello.

BaldarTFlagass June 30, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Myself, I'd like to see them thrown together into a vat full of starving rats. Well, actually, that would gross me out to watch, but I'd like to hear that it happened after the fact.

LetUsBray June 30, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Bachmann's worried about Sarah and Brisdull cornering her in a ladies' room?

ChessieNefercat June 30, 2011 at 4:20 pm

"Bachmann's worried about Sarah and Brisdull cornering her in a ladies' room?"

Well, wouldn't anyone be?

SorosBot June 30, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Ugh; just the use of the word "sexytimes" in an article about those two hags is horrifically boner-killing. Ew; brain bleach please.

Noman June 30, 2011 at 4:16 pm

All of them, Katie.

T.

bflrtsplk June 30, 2011 at 6:00 pm

Uh, Norman, what exactly does this mean? Oops. I meant, "No, man."

Noman June 30, 2011 at 6:47 pm

Do you need clarification from no man?

SayItWithWookies June 30, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Somewhere in America, 400 gallons of mud is breathing a sigh of relief.

VinnyThePooh June 30, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Trib will be the name of the next Palin.

bflrtsplk June 30, 2011 at 6:01 pm

I prefer Trunk. Do we get to vote?

Noman June 30, 2011 at 6:53 pm

cuz Malaria and Shariah are already taken.

An_Outhouse June 30, 2011 at 8:56 pm

ha ha. That never gets old. Now, here's some warm milk. Its time for your nap.

SorosBot June 30, 2011 at 10:43 pm

Oh come on, I've always just loved racist mockery of little girls!

tessiee July 3, 2011 at 10:08 pm

That wasn't funny the first five times; why would it be now?

Texan_Bulldog June 30, 2011 at 4:18 pm

How about a face slapping, hair pulling bitch fight? All clothes need to stay on, though.

voodooeconomics July 3, 2011 at 7:47 pm

why why why

ChessieNefercat June 30, 2011 at 4:18 pm

"Michele Bachmann Informs Everyone She Won’t Mud Wrestle Sarah Palin"

Oh goody, I won't have to scrape out my eyeballs with a shrimp fork, after all.

Barb June 30, 2011 at 4:19 pm

I'd pay to see them wrestle for 2 hours in quicksand.

Steverino247 June 30, 2011 at 5:08 pm

Mr. Taggart: Send down a couple of candidates…

Line boss (pointing at Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin): Uh, you and you.

Sarah Palin: Mr. Taggart, sir. You distinctly said "two candidates." Well, to tell a family secret, I'm collecting cash from rubes who think I'm running for office.

aguacatero June 30, 2011 at 6:23 pm

Fine, but it'll cost extra to see them "come together".

Crank_Tango June 30, 2011 at 4:19 pm

OK, one last one…

MUD LIBEL!!!

BaldarTFlagass June 30, 2011 at 4:22 pm

Well, he did not reveal his secret identity to me, so I only know this gentleman's real name, he therefore has the advantage of me. Since I only do this when I'm at work or early evening, no drunk emails are in the offing. But I would be happy to be drunk emailed by you, Barb.

Barb June 30, 2011 at 4:32 pm

We'll see what we can do tomorrow night then, Baldar.

baconzgood June 30, 2011 at 4:23 pm

(bleach my mind's eye)

GunToting[Redacted] June 30, 2011 at 4:23 pm

No kidding! Think about those poor rats!

tessiee July 3, 2011 at 10:00 pm

OK, so starving wolverines, then?

Grief_Lessons June 30, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Does Bachmann have a drunken knocked-up daughter with no other career prospects?

Grief_Lessons June 30, 2011 at 4:42 pm

What the fuck am I asking? How could she not?

ChessieNefercat June 30, 2011 at 6:19 pm

But isn't it lovely that we don't know?*

*It must be noted, however, that refraining from shoving your trashtastic kids in our faces does not qualify you in any way, shape, or form to be president.

FlyOverGirl June 30, 2011 at 8:06 pm

Possibly 23 of them!

ChessieNefercat June 30, 2011 at 4:25 pm

"They want to see two girls come together and have a mud wrestling fight,” the Minnesota congresswoman said.

Well then, you silly dolt, what made you think they were talking about you two aging hags*?

*I am about the same age as Michele, and I would not expect people to refer to me as a "girl."

Biel_ze_Bubba July 1, 2011 at 7:33 am

Aren't they supposed to come together at the end of the fight? This woman can't get ANYTHING right.

user-of-owls June 30, 2011 at 4:27 pm

I'm goin' with Palin on this one. ZanyEyes has pooped out so many axe-murderers-to-be that Palin could just jump all in that cavern and wait 'til Bachmann wallows herself out.

It's a variation on rope-a-dope: cunt-a-cunt.

BaldarTFlagass June 30, 2011 at 4:28 pm

What are you, the Church Lady? Thanks for judging!

Noman June 30, 2011 at 6:54 pm

Is that you Pat?

elviouslyqueer June 30, 2011 at 4:28 pm

57 states.

BaldarTFlagass June 30, 2011 at 4:34 pm

Dang, I forgot!

elviouslyqueer June 30, 2011 at 4:37 pm

I'm here for ya, man.

Noman June 30, 2011 at 6:53 pm

60 states, corpse-man!

notreelyhelping June 30, 2011 at 4:30 pm

I dunno. Has Palin respondent yet? Cause if she says the wrong thing, well, then it's game on. The world breathlessly await her, uh, tweet.

Buckminster June 30, 2011 at 5:14 pm

A tweet from a twat?

flamingpdog June 30, 2011 at 4:31 pm

Too bad John Candy is deceased. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqhlXnKIbHw&pl

genxr June 30, 2011 at 4:35 pm

Todd to Sarah: "You're a lean, mean, grifting machine!"

mumbly_joe June 30, 2011 at 4:31 pm

Honestly my main fantasy involves a bit less mud wrastlin' and a little more Bloodsport. No matter who loses, I win!

…and America. Also too.

Jukesgrrl June 30, 2011 at 4:31 pm

Palin would want to wear that enormously padded bra she wore to the Belmont Stakes last year and the prelim would dissolve into a Don King-style brouhaha.

genxr June 30, 2011 at 4:34 pm

make that 2 paces.

LetUsBray June 30, 2011 at 4:41 pm

And instead of pistols, how 'bout flamethrowers?

GOPCrusher June 30, 2011 at 4:58 pm

Yes. Less chance of a wounding that could leave one of them in a vegetative state that my tax dollars would have to go toward keeping them on life support.

SorosBot June 30, 2011 at 4:35 pm

There's nothing wrong with a drunk email now and then.

Barb June 30, 2011 at 4:51 pm

Hey, I only did it the once! It was the night of the concert and when I saw Yoko Ono walk in I just had to tell someone. I pushed "send" and knew I should have deleted it. I love that you ignored it. LOL

SorosBot June 30, 2011 at 5:12 pm

There was nothing wrong with it; it was all cool.

Barb June 30, 2011 at 5:23 pm

You did get it! My best friend and songwriting partner, Bill was with us in Vegas and I went storming to his room and whining about being blown off. We wrote a song about it.

Starting on the 4th, I have to write a song every day for a month. I will draw on my horror of being ignored by you. You are my mean spirited muse.

Crank_Tango June 30, 2011 at 5:55 pm

might I suggest, "Friday"? Oh, not a song about every day of the month…never mind.

SorosBot June 30, 2011 at 9:58 pm

Ignored? No, I just had nothing to say back; and am very bad about replying to emails period unless they're work related.

Noman June 30, 2011 at 7:55 pm

Fed's Massive Stimulus Had Little Impact: Greenspan
The Federal Reserve's massive stimulus program had little impact on the U.S. economy besides weakening the dollar and helping U.S. exports, Federal Reserve Governor Alan Greenspan told CNBC Thursday.

In a blunt critique of his successor, Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke, Greenspan said the $2 trillion in quantative easing over the past two years had done little to loosen credit and boost the economy.

"There is no evidence that huge inflow of money into the system basically worked," Greenspan said in a live interview.

SorosBot June 30, 2011 at 10:01 pm

Because Greenspan is a worthless Objectivist hack who has proven himself to be completely ignorant about the subject he claims to be an expert in and was a complete failure as Fed chairman, why should anyone care what he says?

flamingpdog June 30, 2011 at 11:14 pm

And why does Gaetan Dogass have precisely the same number of p as Nomind?

tessiee July 3, 2011 at 9:25 pm

And at least one website in common with him/her/it?
Coincidence? I think not.

ShaveTheWhales July 1, 2011 at 6:09 am

Right. And we all worship Alan Fucking Greenspan, whose "keep the interest rates low so it looks like the economy is working" policy led us to fucking Econopalypse.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 1, 2011 at 7:25 am

In related news, Reagan is still dead.

tessiee July 3, 2011 at 9:24 pm

Nice screen name.
Persecution complex much?

Jukesgrrl June 30, 2011 at 4:37 pm

One L is missing a great opportunity. If she was victorious in this one, she could conclude by shouting, "Bring on Kim Jong Il" and she be taking the oath of office January 2013. It's all theater, people.

Tundra Grifter June 30, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Mud will not be flung tonight.

Dang!

Weenus299 June 30, 2011 at 4:43 pm

Have them duke it out in wet concrete.

Weenus299 June 30, 2011 at 4:44 pm

Or in LaBrea tarpits.

widestanceroman June 30, 2011 at 4:44 pm

Judging by how fast Bachmann's voice is already deteriorating doing speeches, I think a Bachmann/Palin screech-off would be swell, provided attendants signed a hearing loss waiver first.

ChessieNefercat June 30, 2011 at 6:24 pm

This is a good idea, but how could we protect unsuspecting nearby wildlife? For that matter, those two in a screech duet could probably make plants wilt and keel over.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 1, 2011 at 7:30 am

The environmental impact statement would never pass muster.

HelloDollyIV June 30, 2011 at 4:47 pm

Dumb Bitch / Dumber Bitch

JoshuaNorton June 30, 2011 at 4:47 pm

How can wingnutia preach American exceptionalism when apparently these 2 are the best they could come up with?

BaldarTFlagass June 30, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Yet.

Ohforcripessake June 30, 2011 at 4:52 pm

All "snark" aside, WTF are we doing watching this sideshow when we should be looking for a qualified candidate? I mean really! I feel like I'm in a Douglas Adams novel for cripes sake!!1!

SorosBot June 30, 2011 at 5:07 pm

Speak for yourself; I'm looking for the least qualified, the craziest who will guarantee an Obama reelection and hopefully take the down-ticket candidates down to defeat with her.

Eve8Apples June 30, 2011 at 4:52 pm

“They want to see two girls come together and have a mud wrestling fight”

Ole Crazy Eyes has been lurking in the Wonkette shadows. I bet she's a downfistin' troll.

GOPCrusher June 30, 2011 at 5:00 pm

Chainsaws with a 48 inch bar at a distance of two feet.

WhatTheHeck June 30, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Hello Mudder, Hello Fadder.
It's me from Camp Alaska.
Girls are wrasslin
Boys are fappin
Mud is flyin
and I'm dyin.
Wouldn't you come
an take me home.
Take me home…

Steverino247 June 30, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Sarah couldn't kill without a helicopter, so that's out.

DemonicRage June 30, 2011 at 5:12 pm

Between Romney's dark helmet of hair with two little twinkles of white at his sideburns and Bachman's Amy Winehouse triangles of eyeliner at the far corners of the eyes, this Republican pre-Campaign sparring period could do with a little grappling in mud energy infusion. Could one of them be wearing a Wonder Women latex outfit? Maybe the other one could wear a pair of the silk boxers that the Alaskan grifter clan scored when McCain's handlers were paying the bills.

MissTaken June 30, 2011 at 5:12 pm

“They want to see two girls come together and have a mud wrestling fight,”

As if Michele One L even knows how to come, much less come together.

Lascauxcaveman June 30, 2011 at 5:13 pm

Bachman seems kinda teeny. I doubt she'd stack up well at a Wet T contest.

ifthethunderdontgetya June 30, 2011 at 5:14 pm

345 upfists, 16 downfists

Jolly good show!
-rotten smelly onions
~

daakardior June 30, 2011 at 5:19 pm

Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin will star in a new Reality show "2 girls 1 Presidency" You will be able to find it on chatroulette or wherever you get off you fucking perverts.

johnnymeatworth June 30, 2011 at 5:23 pm

And today she praised Richard Speck for his contribution to education reform.

Barb June 30, 2011 at 5:23 pm

And some pretty fun nights too. Don't forget the nights.

V572 [SSAN] June 30, 2011 at 5:26 pm

Oh, I haven’t. Tonight, for instance, or the next or the next…

JackObin June 30, 2011 at 5:37 pm

I'd rather see them have a "Dumb Off", perhaps hosted by Alex Trebeck. All questions will be filtered throiugh Glenn Beck, of course.

BarackMyWorld June 30, 2011 at 5:41 pm

So…them just making out is probably out of the question?

ChessieNefercat June 30, 2011 at 6:26 pm

"So…them just making out is probably out of the question?"

Dear God, I hope so.

ttommyunger June 30, 2011 at 5:45 pm

After having this picture imbedded in my brain along with the added prospect of not one but two giant rancid mud-encrusted twinkies….I seriously doubt I will ever be hard again.

Lascauxcaveman June 30, 2011 at 5:50 pm

That's right, he was saving his energy for the footlocker-wrestling scene with P.J. Soles. Cannot say as I blame him.

GOPCrusher June 30, 2011 at 6:00 pm

Wonder whatever happened to that ice cream scoop?

Noman June 30, 2011 at 6:52 pm

So you have a crush on the GOP? Fabulous!

proudgrampa June 30, 2011 at 5:55 pm

Mazola Oil wrestling, or GTFO.

DashboardBuddha June 30, 2011 at 5:59 pm

Oh please oh please find my email!

Kgprophet June 30, 2011 at 6:15 pm

If Palin runs and they both are in a debate together, will they cancel each other out?

<like those noise canceling headphones>

ChessieNefercat June 30, 2011 at 6:27 pm

"If Palin runs and they both are in a debate together, will they cancel each other out?"

I think their voices together will shatter every light bulb in the room.

flamingpdog June 30, 2011 at 11:06 pm

And any bulbs that might survive will have to shine even brighter than before to counteract the double dimness at the podiums (?podia).

AlaskaGrrl June 30, 2011 at 6:19 pm

Sarah would totally be up for it but only if she got a guarantee plus a percentage of the gate.

Swampgas_Man June 30, 2011 at 6:39 pm

The only thing I want these two to do w/ mud is bury themselves up to their eyebrows. And stay there.

Redhead June 30, 2011 at 6:51 pm

But what about Bristol? It's not like the group of them are good for anything else.

genxr June 30, 2011 at 7:06 pm

A few more ho-hum book signings and she'll be mud wrestling, taking on all challengers!

Dudleydidwrong June 30, 2011 at 7:15 pm

Shit. If that were Palin and Bachmann everyone would root for the lily pads to drown them both.

Limeylizzie June 30, 2011 at 7:27 pm

I think Barb and I should mud wrestle while dressed as Republicans.

flamingpdog June 30, 2011 at 11:10 pm

Even better if you two wrestle dressed as Republican GW Bush – the Emperor with no clothes.

FlyOverGirl June 30, 2011 at 7:36 pm

Well, this will screw with Nikki Haley's plans for SC's revamped role in the presidential primary/caucus.

zhubajie June 30, 2011 at 7:47 pm

Will she do it with Bristol?

flamingpdog June 30, 2011 at 7:56 pm

Downsyndromefisty has awoken from his afternoon nap.

neiltheblaze June 30, 2011 at 10:51 pm

Or his masturbation coma, as I like to call it.

FlyOverGirl June 30, 2011 at 8:12 pm

Bitch slap-off still a possibility.

El Pinche June 30, 2011 at 8:18 pm

Somewhere Rich Lowry is humping raw poultry.

Warpde June 30, 2011 at 11:26 pm

“They want to see two girls come together and have a mud wrestling fight,” the Minnesota congresswoman said. “And I’m not going to give it to ‘em. But if she want's to bring out that two headed dildo again. I'm in. Or the Caribou horns, oh yeah, they fill every hole.”

voodooeconomics July 3, 2011 at 7:51 pm

Michele's statement really perked me up.

tessiee July 3, 2011 at 9:52 pm

They probably both have fake hoots anyway.

scionkirk July 23, 2011 at 1:25 am

boooring… Mike Huckabee vs Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachman mud wrestling match, NOW we're talking.

Barb June 30, 2011 at 6:19 pm

There is a theme to the songwriting. It's like comedy improv. They pick a category and we have to crank them. The "Hillary" day was great and we wrote "Liar, Liar, Pantsuit on Fire" in 10 minutes.

tessiee July 3, 2011 at 9:22 pm

I just got a book out of the library called, "I Still Dream About You". If I had any songwriting talent whatsoever, I'd write a song about that.

tessiee July 3, 2011 at 11:24 pm

Nice homage to Marilyn, but there's no way Silly Sarah looks that good. With all those kids, you *know* she's got stretchmarks that look like a plowed field.

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