think of it like the overture to don giovanni

‘Closed’ Sign Probably Going On Door Of Minnesota Tonight

Democrats and Republicans in the once-mild-mannered state of Minnesota are on the brink of a state shutdown effective tonight if they cannot reach a compromise over Minnesota’s $5 billion budget deficit. Democrat Governor Mark Dayton wants to raise taxes on the richest 2% of Minnesotans, while Republicans predictably tantrumed and refuse to use anything but cuts to fix the deficit. The state’s income gap has grown in recent years, and in 2011 the top 10% of Minnesotans will have 45% of all its personal income, so there’s that to make you feel like a useless working slob. Pretty much Minnesota is like the rest of the U.S. and we can all just think of this as the “opening act” for our inevitable national destruction ahead:

Despite the secret meetings, which have stretched seven straight days, there was scant sign of a deal.

Legislators coming to the Capitol were greeting by hundreds of union protestors, urging the two sides to break the deadlock.

Gathering on Capitol steps, some held signs “I am a Proud Public Worker” and “Government Shutdown — Harming Countless Minnesotans Is Not OK.” Some held babies and others held umbrellas to protect them from the burning summer sun.

If the two sides can’t come to an agreement by midnight, Minnesota will slip into the most wide-reaching government shutdown in state history.


What Others Are Reading

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


  1. BaldarTFlagass

    And the Twins, Wild, Vikings, and T-Wolves ain't gonna do shit this season either.

  2. BaldarTFlagass

    "Some held babies and others held umbrellas to protect them from the burning summer sun."

    Was Sarah Palin in Minnesota today? Sounds like her, except for the umbrella part.

    1. PsycWench

      I was thinking all these babies were being held up as sacrificial offerings to the tax break gods.
      And you know, they kinda are.

  3. poorgradstudent

    Why don't we just embrace the inevitable and formally establish capitalo-feudalism? I want to call dibs on being a surf under Grand Duke Target of Minnesotta, just so I can avoid surfdom under Baron Koch Industries of Wisconsin.

    1. AnarchyWolf

      I'd rather become part of the rampaging barbarian hordes laying waste to the border regions.

    1. ArmoredBore

      Didn't she say that a revolution every so often is a good thing? She better hope it doesn't come to that or it may well be her fraudulently subsidized neck on the chopping block.

  4. freakishlywrong

    We need to rid the nation of the pestilence that is wingnut fiscal policy. And wingnuts in general. They are a blight on all of us.

    1. deanbooth

      They are the descendants of the slaveholding class we should have hung at the end of the civil war. I'm ready for a second secession.

      1. AnarchyWolf

        You don't know what prosperity is cocksucker. You never will, it's just some fucking buzzword, a mindless abstract concept with no reality behind it. You wouldn't recognize freedom either. Bunch of mindless crap. You can't be free in a system that demands your wage labor at the threat of poverty and homelessness, and how the shit do you define prosperity? Having lots of money? living in some ugly McMansion? Driving a luxury sedan?
        You are such a mindless boot licker. Sucking at the teat of your ubermensch, groveling in thanks for the job they were so gracious to give you, instead of wondering why you should have a job or career in the first place.
        F.O. & D.

  5. Goonemeritus

    To bad I actually love that state and I love Minneapolis as a city. I can't rationalize my vision of Minnesota and how they elect such douche bags occasionally.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Love is all around, no need to waste it
      You can have a town, why don't you take it ?
      You're gonna make it after all

  6. Radiotherapy®

    At least they didn't try to take away the job creator's corporate jet subsidies. Now that would have been awful.

  7. axmxz

    We all saw it coming. The high from Finland winning the world hockey championship couldn't last forever.

  8. Texan_Bulldog

    But, yes, we sure would like Timmeh Pawlenty in charge of the national budget since he did such a bang up job in his own freaking state.

    1. PsycWench

      and he sure can bring both sides together so that they can work together for the benefit of all.

  9. BloviateMe

    I gotta think they've been shipping wingnuts into Minnesota since Reagan lost it in his landslide victory.

    Those wingnuts know how to hold a grudge.

  10. user-of-owls

    The state’s income gap has grown in recent years, and in 2011 the top 10% of Minnesotans will have 45% of all its personal income… Pretty much Minnesota is like the rest of the U.S. and we can all just think of this as the “opening act” for our inevitable national destruction ahead

    Ok, just for once, I'll be serious for a moment. Has anyone here ever actually read Marx, even in Marxism For Dummies form? Because things are sure starting to look jiggy about now. The superstructure's looking mighty wobbly these days and talk about false fucking consciousness?!

    1. axmxz

      My Marx-Engels reader saw a lot of thumbing action back in college, but as for Das Buch of Das Kapital – ohne mich, as they say. Marx was a clever beardo, but life is too damn short.

      And anyway, the world's problem isn't Marx or anti-Marx, it's everyone's inability to stick to appropriate levels of capital leverage. Having a penny should not enable any entity to perform half a dollar's worth of transactions.

    2. mumbly_joe

      Honestly, this is the one thing that impresses me about the teabaggers and their vassal lords: they've managed to do for my appreciation of Marx in two years, what four years at a liberal arts college failed to manage.

      1. user-of-owls

        Exactly. That's what I'm getting at. Particularly the bit about false consciousness. How else can one explain the eagerness, nay the very lust with which the downtrodden proletariat lunge to give their very blood to the parasitic ghouls who hold pornographic wealth. It honestly awes me to see this in action. It frightens me as well to picture the moment when the little men's curtain is finally pulled aside. The wrath will be biblical.

        1. weejee

          Sincerely hope that you are not being optimistic mi amigo. I think a chunk of the Martini Republicans get it, say those in the $75K to $200K range, as well as those in professional & government unions. Here in C'Addle, the suburban Repugs are not much with the Teatarded moral imperatives or playing chicken with the debt ceiling.

          I'm afraid a too large part of the non-LAS degreed lunch bucket brigade, including a lot in the building trades, who are in large part rural diaspora living in big city exurbs with their mega-churches, will go like lemmings right off the cliff for the Kocksuchers and have no more clue how they are being had than does the teenager al Qaeda gets to strap on the bomb and blow-up a market or differing Mosque.

        2. BloviateMe

          "It frightens me as well to picture the moment when the little men's curtain is finally pulled aside."

          Even upon casual observation, the curtain has seemingly been thrown wide open, and the proleteriat not only continue to give blood, but are almost doubling down, blinders fully intact.

          It's like reading some perverse version of The Charge of the Light Brigade applied to an entire society.

    3. user-of-owls

      Well put, Blov and Weej, well put. And the alarming thing is that the lemming scenario is entirely plausible. As is the 'coming to our senses' one. Seems a game of chicken is going on between the extremists on the right (no serious person can speak of a relevant/listened to equivalent on the left) and 'hope it goes away by itself, 'cuz I'm sure as hell not gonna be the first one to call the lunatics out' crowd of sensible people.

      From a professional standpoint, it's fascinating to watch as a variation of Centripetal Party Dynamics or Polarized Pluralism is played out (the variation being there is only a Right hump on the curve). But from a citizen standpoint, it is horrifying. For Weejee's drama to play out, someone, someone with actual influence, is going to have to name names first. And then not apologize to that quivering lard-sock of hate and fear that poisons our airwaves daily. Because if that/those person(s) don't call out the death zombies army generals, the vicious bastards will just continue to leapfrog one another into darker chambers of extremism. And that is when it all falls apart.

      1. BloviateMe

        Grim. Much grim, with the ring of prophetic feasibility…

        Other than that, how was the play Mrs. Lincoln?

      2. Dudleydidwrong

        And therein lies Obama's fallacy. He tries to play to a middle that no longer exists. Yes, the lemmings will go over the cliff–they've bought the kool-aid of social issues (a black in the WH and pity all the unborn aborts) while the Kochs klean their klocks. People consider Marx outmoded. He may just be tardy in appearing. Labor unions kept Marxism in a small box in this nation; that's gone now. The rough beast approaching may be from London.

      1. HuddledMass

        What about the I Ching, zhubajie? The hexagram of "Decrease" —

        "This hexagram represents a decrease […] What is below is decreased to
        the benefit of what is above. This is out-and-out decrease. If the foundations
        of a building are decreased in strength and the upper walls are strengthened,
        the whole structure loses its stability. Likewise, a decrease in the prosperity of
        the people in favor of the government is out-and-out decrease. […] the hexagram shows how this shift of wealth can take place without causing the sources of wealth in the nation and its lower classes to fail."

  11. edgydrifter

    Two weeks from now, when Minnesota has descended into complete chaos, and masses of the unwashed are huddling beneath blue tarps, and the top 2% have ringed their homes with razor wire and hired Executive Outcomes to shuttle them from the country club to their gated neighborhoods, and the bottom 98% are stripping copper wires from the burned-out shells of former schools and hospitals and chewing bark off the trees to quell their stabbing hunger pangs, Obama will point towards this failed state and ask the Republicans "is this what you want for America?"
    And the Republicans will all simultaneously sparkle their pants screaming "YES! YES!"

    1. PsycWench

      Why wait two weeks? My understanding is that you can show them pictures of Haiti to get the same effect.

    2. GOPCrusher

      It will be a quick lesson to the U.S. of what the Republiklan vision for America really is when the September Social Security checks, Medicare payments, etc. don't go out, because the debt ceiling wasn't raised.

  12. PsycWench

    Based on my one trip to Minnesota, I think you should find a way to tax the mosquitoes. They probably wield some political power…The Proboscis Pac.

  13. SorosBot

    The Governor should threaten to cut the heating budget for the state capital building next Minnesota winter.

  14. EatsBabyDingos

    Also in the news, Michele Bachmann changed the name of "titanium" to "boobtanium," because she is a boob.

  15. inapewetrust

    i'm starting to think conservatives WANT to shut government down because they believe people will just be like, "oh, hey, things are much better with no government. we should have done this years ago! private security forces policing the streets 4eva!" they also believe in supply side economics, infallibility of the markets, whatever the opposite of global warming is (gaia gangbang?), and the idea that an invisible ghost invented the universe in six days.

    truly, their profound stupidity will ruin us all. i need to go take a nap know, because of sadnesss.

    1. zhubajie

      Well, a fair number of cons figure they'll be on top and enjoy abusing cheap labor, like in the typical 3rd world country. Most will be furious to find themselves in the gutter, too!

      1. ChapterUndVerse

        That, too, will be the fault of a liberal, and proof that the reforms have not gone far enough.

  16. neiltheblaze

    Oh good – at least we get a dry-run before these wingnut imbeciles implode the economy internationally. The USA has become the fiscal insane asylum of the planet.

  17. EatsBabyDingos

    Pssssst. Dakotas-hey, nobody will be watching the border tonight. Now's your chance to expand. Give the crappy parts to Iowa.

    1. zhubajie

      The first Iowa constitution proposed having the northern border at Minneapolis, so why not again?

    2. Negropolis

      Though losing Minnesota would be scary enough, seeing either of the two Dakotas expand would terrify me. Both of them have gone full wingnut, and they ain't coming back. Even North Dakota is starting to regress, and it's not coming back.

  18. MissTaken

    "Some held babies and others held umbrellas to protect them from the burning summer sun."

    Budge talks must be really bad when they have to resort to using babies to protect from the burning summer sun.

  19. Mumbletypeg

    The state’s income gap has grown in recent years,

    Well since the "Closed" sign is going on the month of June, too, let me summon its namesake poem's author:

    "Earth gets its price for what Earth gives us;
    The beggar is taxed for a corner to die in,
    The priest hath his fee who comes and shrives us,
    We bargain for the graves we lie in;
    At the Devil's booth are all things sold
    Each ounce of dross costs its ounce of gold;
    For a cap and bells our lives we pay,
    Bubbles we earn with a whole soul's tasking:
    T'is heaven alone that is given away,
    T'is only God may be had for the asking;
    There is no price set on the lavish summer,
    And June may be had by the poorest comer…"

    Hear that, ye poorz? June is Free to ALL — what a silver lining! A single month in which not to anticipate the harsh upper midwest winter. Ignore the pox on all yer houses. Getting out of them into the summer air is what its' about, when it's warm outside, and you're too broke to do much of anything else.

  20. chascates

    Ah, this fine Ben Sargent cartoon illustrates why the GOP won't run the government like a business:

    A. "We're not making enough money to pay the bills…shouldn't we try to drum up more sales?"

    B. "Increase our revenues? Have you gone mad? No, we've got to fire all the employees, quit having stuff to sell, and just hope the whole place goes away."

  21. DaRooster

    "Some held babies and others held umbrellas to protect them from the burning summer sun."

    I would use the umbrella… a baby just wouldn't protect you from the sun as well as an umbrella… besides, then you'll have a sunburned baby.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      The baby will just have to pick itself up by its boostraps, get an honest job, and buy its own sunscreen, like a Real American™.

  22. Callyson

    And meanwhile, Callifornia finally passed a budget on time. A sucky budget, mind you, but at least the CA legislators will get paid.
    Wait…suddenly Minnesota's woes don't seem so bad…

  23. KeepFnThatChicken

    Minnesota has been closed since the demise of MST3K, and was burned to the ground with the rise of Michele Bachmann.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      When life gives you babies, make sun shades. Anything is better than contraception, or familiy planning, or sex ed.

    1. ttommyunger

      Repetition, repetition, repetition. From Goebbels to Rove, time tested and proven every day by Faux "News" and others.

    2. unclejeems

      Yep, that slur was practically invented by the millionaires' best friend, and formerly my senior senator from the great state of Texas, whose only piece of legislation with his name on it got shit-canned by the court–ladies and gentlemen, the great Phil Gramm! A man who was so unlikable, not even his friends would talk to him.

  24. ttommyunger

    "Chicken" is a fun game, for spectators. The poors are the only ones with skin in this game.

  25. Pragmatist2

    I have lived in Minnesota for 17 years and had nott beEn aware until now that we were open.

  26. tihond

    It's not the bread and circuses that did Rome in. It's when they finally closed the circuses.

  27. WriteyWriterton

    Would anyone mind if I just note here that, thanks to our Republican overlords (who, I for one, welcome), we're all doomed, and not in a good way?


  28. Monsieur_Grumpe

    Don't worry about me fellow Wonketteers. I've stocked up on enough beer and cat food to last for a couple of monthes. I've sharpened my pitch fork (Pokey), and I've taped all the windows in case of gas attack.

    1. emmelemm

      Don't forget your tin foil hat.

      Is that cat food for you, or your cat? Because you'd better have something to feed the cat, or else it might find a way to hasten your demise in order to eat your face…

    2. Dudleydidwrong

      And no matter how much ammo I stockpile, I'm sure that the other side has twice as much. (Mutter…mutter…mutter…where on the Internet can I get reloading equipment for .22 LR rimfire cartridges…mutter…mutter)

    3. Naked_Bunny

      Be sure to keep a barrel of electricity and a couple boxes of internet connectivity on ya.

    4. ChuckieJesus

      Howdy, neighborino. If it gets tough, I got some friends in Minnetonka who are growing heirloom 'matos, maybe I can hook ya up. <3

  29. frostbitefalls

    I'm so depressed to be a Minnesotan right now. All friggin winter we suffer and when it finally gets nice out…this? Every one of those dumb puke Republicans can to go to hell. And then Pawlenty. Pawlenty can really go to hell. His irresponsible smirking asshole tactics put us in this mess.

    1. fuflans

      well you can take some comfort from the fact that he's not going to get anywhere near the nomination.

      and if does, barry's going to kick his ass to indonesia.

  30. weejee

    Well is past midnight in Minnesota, so it appears the lights have gone out.

    Hope ya'll don't have any serious emergencies greater than the usual too many summertime mosquitoes.

  31. Warpde

    The lights are off.
    But we're still home.
    Repub Reps.
    Corporations own .
    You can sleep, you can eat.
    There is no doubt, we're fucking sheep.
    Whoa, woe, woe…
    You like to think that you're immune to the muck.
    Oh yeah……..
    To the truth to say they really don't give a fuck …
    You know you're gonna have to face it Repubs really suck…..
    Might as well face it Repubs really suck.
    Might as well face it Repubs really suck.
    Might as well face it Repubs really suck……

    My apologies to Robert Palmer

  32. Negropolis

    It blows my mind how Minnesota has a $5 billion deficit, and my state of Michigan (a much larger state), had a budget deficit of $1.8 billion, and our Republicans made it sound as if the sky was falling. Just goes to show, no matter the size of a deficit, Republicans are excellent at making it seem in your immediate space that your's is the biggest budget deficit ever anywhere.

    1. Monsieur_Grumpe

      What makes it even more mind boggling is that Tim Pawlenty is running on his record.
      He can say he didn't raise taxes but he wants everyone to ignore the steaming pile of shit he left behind.

    2. payton

      Minnesota runs on a two-year budget cycle, so the annual deficit is "only" ~$2.5B. Quite unlike the feds, who appear to be running on a two-month budget cycle (aka continuing resolutions) and therefore give the GOP a chance to constantly manufacture budget hostage crises, ahem excuses to borrow more and cut corporate taxes again.

  33. Negropolis

    Minnesota must be careful. Make sure the roof of the Metrodome is nailed down, 'cause she'll still that too.

  34. ChuckieJesus

    I woke up in Minneapolis today. I have a job that helps poor people. Our doors are shuttered. My husband (Mr. Jesus) upon hearing the news this morning, said "Hope the millionaires run faster than I do."

    I kinda hope they don't. Apparently the last resort bargaining chip from Dayton was that he wanted to tax only the millionaires, which make up a whopping .1% of the entire state population. He couldn't even get that one over.


  35. MinAgain

    If Minnesota shuts down today, can we tie a bow around it and give it to our neighbors to the north? It is Canada's birthday, after all.

Comments are closed.