‘Closed’ Sign Probably Going On Door Of Minnesota Tonight

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Democrats and Republicans in the once-mild-mannered state of Minnesota are on the brink of a state shutdown effective tonight if they cannot reach a compromise over Minnesota’s $5 billion budget deficit. Democrat Governor Mark Dayton wants to raise taxes on the richest 2% of Minnesotans, while Republicans predictably tantrumed and refuse to use anything but cuts to fix the deficit. The state’s income gap has grown in recent years, and in 2011 the top 10% of Minnesotans will have 45% of all its personal income, so there’s that to make you feel like a useless working slob. Pretty much Minnesota is like the rest of the U.S. and we can all just think of this as the “opening act” for our inevitable national destruction ahead:

Despite the secret meetings, which have stretched seven straight days, there was scant sign of a deal.

Legislators coming to the Capitol were greeting by hundreds of union protestors, urging the two sides to break the deadlock.

Gathering on Capitol steps, some held signs “I am a Proud Public Worker” and “Government Shutdown — Harming Countless Minnesotans Is Not OK.” Some held babies and others held umbrellas to protect them from the burning summer sun.

If the two sides can’t come to an agreement by midnight, Minnesota will slip into the most wide-reaching government shutdown in state history.

[StarTribune]

 
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{ 115 comments }

BaldarTFlagass June 30, 2011 at 2:39 pm

And the Twins, Wild, Vikings, and T-Wolves ain't gonna do shit this season either.

freakishlywrong June 30, 2011 at 2:45 pm

Or..the Lizard people.

Beowoof June 30, 2011 at 3:18 pm

Well hey the Vikings will probably move so it will be LA's problem next year.

BaldarTFlagass June 30, 2011 at 2:42 pm

"Some held babies and others held umbrellas to protect them from the burning summer sun."

Was Sarah Palin in Minnesota today? Sounds like her, except for the umbrella part.

PsycWench June 30, 2011 at 3:15 pm

I was thinking all these babies were being held up as sacrificial offerings to the tax break gods.
And you know, they kinda are.

BaldarTFlagass June 30, 2011 at 3:25 pm

I wonder if they were all first-borns.

poorgradstudent June 30, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Why don't we just embrace the inevitable and formally establish capitalo-feudalism? I want to call dibs on being a surf under Grand Duke Target of Minnesotta, just so I can avoid surfdom under Baron Koch Industries of Wisconsin.

AnarchyWolf June 30, 2011 at 4:18 pm

I'd rather become part of the rampaging barbarian hordes laying waste to the border regions.

simplyblue7 July 1, 2011 at 8:10 am

damn ye!

Sue4466 June 30, 2011 at 2:44 pm

Does this mean they'll have to recall Bachmann?

ArmoredBore June 30, 2011 at 2:49 pm

Didn't she say that a revolution every so often is a good thing? She better hope it doesn't come to that or it may well be her fraudulently subsidized neck on the chopping block.

freakishlywrong June 30, 2011 at 2:44 pm

We need to rid the nation of the pestilence that is wingnut fiscal policy. And wingnuts in general. They are a blight on all of us.

deanbooth June 30, 2011 at 3:37 pm

They are the descendants of the slaveholding class we should have hung at the end of the civil war. I'm ready for a second secession.

FlownOver June 30, 2011 at 4:56 pm

Can we make "secede" a transitive verb? Why should WE have to get out?

Noman June 30, 2011 at 3:52 pm

yeah, cuz everyone nose the road to prosperity is paved with ever-increasing entitlements

AnarchyWolf June 30, 2011 at 4:24 pm

You don't know what prosperity is cocksucker. You never will, it's just some fucking buzzword, a mindless abstract concept with no reality behind it. You wouldn't recognize freedom either. Bunch of mindless crap. You can't be free in a system that demands your wage labor at the threat of poverty and homelessness, and how the shit do you define prosperity? Having lots of money? living in some ugly McMansion? Driving a luxury sedan?
You are such a mindless boot licker. Sucking at the teat of your ubermensch, groveling in thanks for the job they were so gracious to give you, instead of wondering why you should have a job or career in the first place.
F.O. & D.

Goonemeritus June 30, 2011 at 2:45 pm

To bad I actually love that state and I love Minneapolis as a city. I can't rationalize my vision of Minnesota and how they elect such douche bags occasionally.

BaldarTFlagass June 30, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have a town, why don't you take it ?
You're gonna make it after all

PsycWench June 30, 2011 at 3:02 pm

The Overton Hotdish Window strikes again.

Radiotherapy® June 30, 2011 at 2:47 pm

At least they didn't try to take away the job creator's corporate jet subsidies. Now that would have been awful.

axmxz June 30, 2011 at 2:47 pm

We all saw it coming. The high from Finland winning the world hockey championship couldn't last forever.

Texan_Bulldog June 30, 2011 at 2:48 pm

But, yes, we sure would like Timmeh Pawlenty in charge of the national budget since he did such a bang up job in his own freaking state.

PsycWench June 30, 2011 at 3:19 pm

and he sure can bring both sides together so that they can work together for the benefit of all.

BloviateMe June 30, 2011 at 2:53 pm

I gotta think they've been shipping wingnuts into Minnesota since Reagan lost it in his landslide victory.

Those wingnuts know how to hold a grudge.

OneYieldRegular June 30, 2011 at 2:55 pm

No problem. My Lear jet is fully fueled and ready to taxi.

user-of-owls June 30, 2011 at 2:55 pm

The state’s income gap has grown in recent years, and in 2011 the top 10% of Minnesotans will have 45% of all its personal income… Pretty much Minnesota is like the rest of the U.S. and we can all just think of this as the “opening act” for our inevitable national destruction ahead

Ok, just for once, I'll be serious for a moment. Has anyone here ever actually read Marx, even in Marxism For Dummies form? Because things are sure starting to look jiggy about now. The superstructure's looking mighty wobbly these days and talk about false fucking consciousness?!

axmxz June 30, 2011 at 3:06 pm

My Marx-Engels reader saw a lot of thumbing action back in college, but as for Das Buch of Das Kapital – ohne mich, as they say. Marx was a clever beardo, but life is too damn short.

And anyway, the world's problem isn't Marx or anti-Marx, it's everyone's inability to stick to appropriate levels of capital leverage. Having a penny should not enable any entity to perform half a dollar's worth of transactions.

mumbly_joe June 30, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Honestly, this is the one thing that impresses me about the teabaggers and their vassal lords: they've managed to do for my appreciation of Marx in two years, what four years at a liberal arts college failed to manage.

user-of-owls June 30, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Exactly. That's what I'm getting at. Particularly the bit about false consciousness. How else can one explain the eagerness, nay the very lust with which the downtrodden proletariat lunge to give their very blood to the parasitic ghouls who hold pornographic wealth. It honestly awes me to see this in action. It frightens me as well to picture the moment when the little men's curtain is finally pulled aside. The wrath will be biblical.

weejee June 30, 2011 at 3:46 pm

Sincerely hope that you are not being optimistic mi amigo. I think a chunk of the Martini Republicans get it, say those in the $75K to $200K range, as well as those in professional & government unions. Here in C'Addle, the suburban Repugs are not much with the Teatarded moral imperatives or playing chicken with the debt ceiling.

I'm afraid a too large part of the non-LAS degreed lunch bucket brigade, including a lot in the building trades, who are in large part rural diaspora living in big city exurbs with their mega-churches, will go like lemmings right off the cliff for the Kocksuchers and have no more clue how they are being had than does the teenager al Qaeda gets to strap on the bomb and blow-up a market or differing Mosque.

BloviateMe June 30, 2011 at 3:49 pm

"It frightens me as well to picture the moment when the little men's curtain is finally pulled aside."

Even upon casual observation, the curtain has seemingly been thrown wide open, and the proleteriat not only continue to give blood, but are almost doubling down, blinders fully intact.

It's like reading some perverse version of The Charge of the Light Brigade applied to an entire society.

user-of-owls June 30, 2011 at 4:44 pm

Well put, Blov and Weej, well put. And the alarming thing is that the lemming scenario is entirely plausible. As is the 'coming to our senses' one. Seems a game of chicken is going on between the extremists on the right (no serious person can speak of a relevant/listened to equivalent on the left) and 'hope it goes away by itself, 'cuz I'm sure as hell not gonna be the first one to call the lunatics out' crowd of sensible people.

From a professional standpoint, it's fascinating to watch as a variation of Centripetal Party Dynamics or Polarized Pluralism is played out (the variation being there is only a Right hump on the curve). But from a citizen standpoint, it is horrifying. For Weejee's drama to play out, someone, someone with actual influence, is going to have to name names first. And then not apologize to that quivering lard-sock of hate and fear that poisons our airwaves daily. Because if that/those person(s) don't call out the death zombies army generals, the vicious bastards will just continue to leapfrog one another into darker chambers of extremism. And that is when it all falls apart.

BloviateMe June 30, 2011 at 6:40 pm

Grim. Much grim, with the ring of prophetic feasibility…

Other than that, how was the play Mrs. Lincoln?

Dudleydidwrong June 30, 2011 at 7:33 pm

And therein lies Obama's fallacy. He tries to play to a middle that no longer exists. Yes, the lemmings will go over the cliff–they've bought the kool-aid of social issues (a black in the WH and pity all the unborn aborts) while the Kochs klean their klocks. People consider Marx outmoded. He may just be tardy in appearing. Labor unions kept Marxism in a small box in this nation; that's gone now. The rough beast approaching may be from London.

user-of-owls June 30, 2011 at 7:52 pm

Bingo.

fuflans July 1, 2011 at 12:54 am

this entire thread scared me witless and then you go and bring up that damned falcon.

zhubajie June 30, 2011 at 7:54 pm

Hell, Aristotle talks about the dangers of this kind of wealth distribution!

HuddledMass July 1, 2011 at 12:16 pm

What about the I Ching, zhubajie? The hexagram of "Decrease" —

"This hexagram represents a decrease [...] What is below is decreased to
the benefit of what is above. This is out-and-out decrease. If the foundations
of a building are decreased in strength and the upper walls are strengthened,
the whole structure loses its stability. Likewise, a decrease in the prosperity of
the people in favor of the government is out-and-out decrease. [...] the hexagram shows how this shift of wealth can take place without causing the sources of wealth in the nation and its lower classes to fail."

edgydrifter June 30, 2011 at 2:57 pm

Two weeks from now, when Minnesota has descended into complete chaos, and masses of the unwashed are huddling beneath blue tarps, and the top 2% have ringed their homes with razor wire and hired Executive Outcomes to shuttle them from the country club to their gated neighborhoods, and the bottom 98% are stripping copper wires from the burned-out shells of former schools and hospitals and chewing bark off the trees to quell their stabbing hunger pangs, Obama will point towards this failed state and ask the Republicans "is this what you want for America?"
And the Republicans will all simultaneously sparkle their pants screaming "YES! YES!"

PsycWench June 30, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Why wait two weeks? My understanding is that you can show them pictures of Haiti to get the same effect.

BaldarTFlagass June 30, 2011 at 3:04 pm

Or Mogadishu.

Negropolis July 1, 2011 at 2:56 am

Or Moldova.

GOPCrusher June 30, 2011 at 3:17 pm

It will be a quick lesson to the U.S. of what the Republiklan vision for America really is when the September Social Security checks, Medicare payments, etc. don't go out, because the debt ceiling wasn't raised.

deanbooth June 30, 2011 at 3:40 pm

If you expect Obama to call them out, you have more hope than I do.

mumbly_joe June 30, 2011 at 4:00 pm

I dunno, it's always possible. I hear the guy is a real dick.

emmelemm June 30, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Ha! Good one.

PsycWench June 30, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Based on my one trip to Minnesota, I think you should find a way to tax the mosquitoes. They probably wield some political power…The Proboscis Pac.

user-of-owls June 30, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Don't underestimate the influence of Big Buzz.

SorosBot June 30, 2011 at 3:00 pm

The Governor should threaten to cut the heating budget for the state capital building next Minnesota winter.

EatsBabyDingos June 30, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Also in the news, Michele Bachmann changed the name of "titanium" to "boobtanium," because she is a boob.

inapewetrust June 30, 2011 at 3:01 pm

i'm starting to think conservatives WANT to shut government down because they believe people will just be like, "oh, hey, things are much better with no government. we should have done this years ago! private security forces policing the streets 4eva!" they also believe in supply side economics, infallibility of the markets, whatever the opposite of global warming is (gaia gangbang?), and the idea that an invisible ghost invented the universe in six days.

truly, their profound stupidity will ruin us all. i need to go take a nap know, because of sadnesss.

zhubajie June 30, 2011 at 7:56 pm

Well, a fair number of cons figure they'll be on top and enjoy abusing cheap labor, like in the typical 3rd world country. Most will be furious to find themselves in the gutter, too!

ChapterUndVerse July 1, 2011 at 11:47 pm

That, too, will be the fault of a liberal, and proof that the reforms have not gone far enough.

neiltheblaze June 30, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Oh good – at least we get a dry-run before these wingnut imbeciles implode the economy internationally. The USA has become the fiscal insane asylum of the planet.

BaldarTFlagass June 30, 2011 at 3:03 pm

Call me Ishmael.

EatsBabyDingos June 30, 2011 at 3:03 pm

Pssssst. Dakotas-hey, nobody will be watching the border tonight. Now's your chance to expand. Give the crappy parts to Iowa.

zhubajie June 30, 2011 at 7:58 pm

The first Iowa constitution proposed having the northern border at Minneapolis, so why not again?

zhubajie June 30, 2011 at 7:58 pm

Maybe Little Crow's relatives, exiled since 1862, can take it all back!

Negropolis July 1, 2011 at 2:58 am

Though losing Minnesota would be scary enough, seeing either of the two Dakotas expand would terrify me. Both of them have gone full wingnut, and they ain't coming back. Even North Dakota is starting to regress, and it's not coming back.

Mumbletypeg June 30, 2011 at 3:04 pm

Oh I love you for saying, what I was thinking, so much better than I could.

MissTaken June 30, 2011 at 3:06 pm

"Some held babies and others held umbrellas to protect them from the burning summer sun."

Budge talks must be really bad when they have to resort to using babies to protect from the burning summer sun.

johnnymeatworth June 30, 2011 at 3:07 pm

Is this because of the Bristol Palin book signing?

CapeClod June 30, 2011 at 3:08 pm

It's a conspiracy between both parties to snag a 4 day holiday weekend.

Mumbletypeg June 30, 2011 at 3:08 pm

The state’s income gap has grown in recent years,

Well since the "Closed" sign is going on the month of June, too, let me summon its namesake poem's author:

"Earth gets its price for what Earth gives us;
The beggar is taxed for a corner to die in,
The priest hath his fee who comes and shrives us,
We bargain for the graves we lie in;
At the Devil's booth are all things sold
Each ounce of dross costs its ounce of gold;
For a cap and bells our lives we pay,
Bubbles we earn with a whole soul's tasking:
T'is heaven alone that is given away,
T'is only God may be had for the asking;
There is no price set on the lavish summer,
And June may be had by the poorest comer…"

Hear that, ye poorz? June is Free to ALL — what a silver lining! A single month in which not to anticipate the harsh upper midwest winter. Ignore the pox on all yer houses. Getting out of them into the summer air is what its' about, when it's warm outside, and you're too broke to do much of anything else.

DaRooster June 30, 2011 at 3:09 pm

YEA!! GUBMINT!! You guys rock… to the right.

chascates June 30, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Ah, this fine Ben Sargent cartoon illustrates why the GOP won't run the government like a business:
(http://assets.gocomics.com/bensargent/2011/03/30/)

A. "We're not making enough money to pay the bills…shouldn't we try to drum up more sales?"

B. "Increase our revenues? Have you gone mad? No, we've got to fire all the employees, quit having stuff to sell, and just hope the whole place goes away."

Rarian Rakista June 30, 2011 at 9:34 pm
Biel_ze_Bubba July 1, 2011 at 6:54 am

Check out the next one in line: http://assets.gocomics.com/bensargent/2011/04/01

user-of-owls June 30, 2011 at 3:14 pm

It's smitin' time boys!

PsycWench June 30, 2011 at 3:17 pm

but do you want sun screen that can spit up or poop on you?

baconzgood June 30, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Uh….Yeah?!

DaRooster June 30, 2011 at 3:21 pm

"Some held babies and others held umbrellas to protect them from the burning summer sun."

I would use the umbrella… a baby just wouldn't protect you from the sun as well as an umbrella… besides, then you'll have a sunburned baby.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 1, 2011 at 6:56 am

The baby will just have to pick itself up by its boostraps, get an honest job, and buy its own sunscreen, like a Real American™.

weejee June 30, 2011 at 3:31 pm

They'll have the best part of that at the Wahsilly Fourth of July party in a large bowl of blow.

Callyson June 30, 2011 at 3:35 pm

And meanwhile, Callifornia finally passed a budget on time. A sucky budget, mind you, but at least the CA legislators will get paid.
Wait…suddenly Minnesota's woes don't seem so bad…

KeepFnThatChicken June 30, 2011 at 3:35 pm

Minnesota has been closed since the demise of MST3K, and was burned to the ground with the rise of Michele Bachmann.

ChuckieJesus July 1, 2011 at 1:25 pm

Dear Intense Debate, I need to give this about a dozen more upfists.

ifthethunderdontgetya June 30, 2011 at 3:38 pm

How many times have you had to change an umbrella's diapers, or take it to the doctor, or get a sitter?

umbrella + birth control 1, baby 0
~

Biel_ze_Bubba July 1, 2011 at 6:59 am

When life gives you babies, make sun shades. Anything is better than contraception, or familiy planning, or sex ed.

hagajim June 30, 2011 at 3:39 pm

T-Paw will blame this on the Dems.

Chet Kincaid June 30, 2011 at 5:01 pm

KBJ, I'm disappointed that you adopted wingnut protocols and called him "Democrat Governor."

ttommyunger June 30, 2011 at 5:25 pm

Repetition, repetition, repetition. From Goebbels to Rove, time tested and proven every day by Faux "News" and others.

unclejeems July 1, 2011 at 12:26 am

Yep, that slur was practically invented by the millionaires' best friend, and formerly my senior senator from the great state of Texas, whose only piece of legislation with his name on it got shit-canned by the court–ladies and gentlemen, the great Phil Gramm! A man who was so unlikable, not even his friends would talk to him.

ttommyunger June 30, 2011 at 5:27 pm

"Chicken" is a fun game, for spectators. The poors are the only ones with skin in this game.

Pragmatist2 June 30, 2011 at 5:41 pm

I have lived in Minnesota for 17 years and had nott beEn aware until now that we were open.

tihond June 30, 2011 at 5:53 pm

It's not the bread and circuses that did Rome in. It's when they finally closed the circuses.

emmelemm June 30, 2011 at 6:54 pm

And ran out of bread coupons?

WriteyWriterton June 30, 2011 at 5:54 pm

Would anyone mind if I just note here that, thanks to our Republican overlords (who, I for one, welcome), we're all doomed, and not in a good way?

Kthxbye.

Monsieur_Grumpe June 30, 2011 at 6:57 pm

Don't worry about me fellow Wonketteers. I've stocked up on enough beer and cat food to last for a couple of monthes. I've sharpened my pitch fork (Pokey), and I've taped all the windows in case of gas attack.

emmelemm June 30, 2011 at 7:32 pm

Don't forget your tin foil hat.

Is that cat food for you, or your cat? Because you'd better have something to feed the cat, or else it might find a way to hasten your demise in order to eat your face…

Naked_Bunny June 30, 2011 at 9:37 pm

Isn't the beer for the cat?

Monsieur_Grumpe July 1, 2011 at 4:25 am

duh

Dudleydidwrong June 30, 2011 at 8:06 pm

And no matter how much ammo I stockpile, I'm sure that the other side has twice as much. (Mutter…mutter…mutter…where on the Internet can I get reloading equipment for .22 LR rimfire cartridges…mutter…mutter)

Naked_Bunny June 30, 2011 at 9:36 pm

Be sure to keep a barrel of electricity and a couple boxes of internet connectivity on ya.

ChuckieJesus July 1, 2011 at 1:24 pm

Howdy, neighborino. If it gets tough, I got some friends in Minnetonka who are growing heirloom 'matos, maybe I can hook ya up. <3

Monsieur_Grumpe July 1, 2011 at 2:40 pm

I live in Minnetonka!
Small world.

MinAgain June 30, 2011 at 7:06 pm

Fortunately, this closure will not affect Lake Wobegon.

user-of-owls June 30, 2011 at 7:52 pm

And the "urg" in bourgeoisie.

frostbitefalls June 30, 2011 at 8:16 pm

Nothing will ever add drama to his stories.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 1, 2011 at 7:00 am

That's what makes them good.

frostbitefalls June 30, 2011 at 8:21 pm

I'm so depressed to be a Minnesotan right now. All friggin winter we suffer and when it finally gets nice out…this? Every one of those dumb puke Republicans can to go to hell. And then Pawlenty. Pawlenty can really go to hell. His irresponsible smirking asshole tactics put us in this mess.

fuflans July 1, 2011 at 1:08 am

well you can take some comfort from the fact that he's not going to get anywhere near the nomination.

and if does, barry's going to kick his ass to indonesia.

weejee July 1, 2011 at 1:20 am

Well is past midnight in Minnesota, so it appears the lights have gone out.

Hope ya'll don't have any serious emergencies greater than the usual too many summertime mosquitoes.

Monsieur_Grumpe July 1, 2011 at 7:46 am

I was going to renew my kayak license today.
When will this horror end?

weejee July 1, 2011 at 8:45 am

Your senate majority leader last name is Koch. Mmmmm, any relation to the bruthas K?

Warpde July 1, 2011 at 1:44 am

The lights are off.
But we're still home.
Repub Reps.
Corporations own .
You can sleep, you can eat.
There is no doubt, we're fucking sheep.
Whoa, woe, woe…
You like to think that you're immune to the muck.
Oh yeah……..
To the truth to say they really don't give a fuck …
You know you're gonna have to face it Repubs really suck…..
Might as well face it Repubs really suck.
Might as well face it Repubs really suck.
Might as well face it Repubs really suck……

My apologies to Robert Palmer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcATvu5f9vE

Negropolis July 1, 2011 at 2:36 am

It blows my mind how Minnesota has a $5 billion deficit, and my state of Michigan (a much larger state), had a budget deficit of $1.8 billion, and our Republicans made it sound as if the sky was falling. Just goes to show, no matter the size of a deficit, Republicans are excellent at making it seem in your immediate space that your's is the biggest budget deficit ever anywhere.

Monsieur_Grumpe July 1, 2011 at 7:44 am

What makes it even more mind boggling is that Tim Pawlenty is running on his record.
He can say he didn't raise taxes but he wants everyone to ignore the steaming pile of shit he left behind.

weejee July 1, 2011 at 8:25 am

There's a map that shows per capita state debt here.

payton July 2, 2011 at 1:17 pm

Minnesota runs on a two-year budget cycle, so the annual deficit is "only" ~$2.5B. Quite unlike the feds, who appear to be running on a two-month budget cycle (aka continuing resolutions) and therefore give the GOP a chance to constantly manufacture budget hostage crises, ahem excuses to borrow more and cut corporate taxes again.

Negropolis July 1, 2011 at 2:50 am

Minnesota must be careful. Make sure the roof of the Metrodome is nailed down, 'cause she'll still that too.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 1, 2011 at 6:48 am

Proper technique here: http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/goldenkb/golden

(Holding the tyke directly above your face is asking for trouble.)

Biel_ze_Bubba July 1, 2011 at 7:05 am

Try to be careful, and don't take no chances.

ChuckieJesus July 1, 2011 at 9:49 am

I woke up in Minneapolis today. I have a job that helps poor people. Our doors are shuttered. My husband (Mr. Jesus) upon hearing the news this morning, said "Hope the millionaires run faster than I do."

I kinda hope they don't. Apparently the last resort bargaining chip from Dayton was that he wanted to tax only the millionaires, which make up a whopping .1% of the entire state population. He couldn't even get that one over.

EAT THE RICH, THEY'RE TASTIER THAN HOBO BEANS

MinAgain July 1, 2011 at 10:40 am

If Minnesota shuts down today, can we tie a bow around it and give it to our neighbors to the north? It is Canada's birthday, after all.

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