try not to scare the children with your satire stories

WND Suing Esquire For Using Terrible Irony Weapon Against Birthers

wingnuts automatically take anything with a drudge siren seriouslyWho are the most victimized people on the planet? If you answered “the birther lunatics,” you would be correct. writer and birther book publisher Joseph Farah is suing Esquire for $120 million for publishing a parody post reporting that Farah finally decided the whole birther thing was probably just a hollow, exploitative attempt at monetizing the fears of stupid, racist people, and he would be recalling the Jerome Corsi book. Haha, that is ironic and totally implausible, because Joseph Farah loves money. But you know who doesn’t understand irony? Birther nutjobs! So they all freaked out and in their typical brainless fashion went and took the books off the shelves.  IT’S ON THE INTERNET IT MUST BE TRUE! It was a sad day for Joseph Farah’s bank account, because of irony. 

The Esquire post also says on it: Uh, this is not real, everybody. There is a little “humor” tag at the bottom. Did Joseph Farah wish for thirty seconds that his wingnut readership had even the slightest concept of what satire is? No, probably not.

From the WorldNetDaily story announcing the lawsuit:

“You can’t just make up words and put them in people’s mouths, deliberately misleading the public, deliberately defaming others and deliberately lying to inhibit commerce,” Farah said. “Media institutions such as Esquire magazine and its parent, the Hearst Corporation, for which I was employed for nearly a decade, should know better. And they will as a result of this lawsuit.”

Yeah, you can’t just go around lying and making up words and deliberately misleading the public in order to inhibit commerce. But it is completely fine to do it when you are making money from it. [TPM/ WND]

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          1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

            He recused himself because he used to have sex with his mom in the outhouse.

            Ooops, Looks like another law suit.

      1. SorosBot

        And it's now literally one of the textbook cases on parody; the other one being between 2 Live Crew and Roy Orbison's old record company over their "Pretty Woman" parody; the crew won.

        The thing is, the parody defense is pretty clear cut, but many assholes sue for defamation or copyright violations anyway, because a lot of people don't the resources to fight against a nuisance suit and will give in to threats rather than fight. However, this is Esquire, which like Hustler and the Crew has the resources to fight such an obvious bullshit case.

    1. Beowoof

      And Falwell is still one of the biggest Assholes of the 20th Century. The comptetion was pretty stiff but he should still be in the top 10.

  1. superfecta

    Hearst bought the dot-com I worked for in the '90s; I went from creating websites about women's finance and careers to doing the Redbook website, which featured a step-by-step article (with pop-ups, of course) on how to give a great hand job. Isn't that the standard of journalism all Hearst publications should be held to? Doesn't Farah remember those (ahem) heady days?

  2. Barb

    “You can’t just make up words and put them in people’s mouths, deliberately misleading the public, deliberately defaming others and deliberately lying to inhibit commerce,” Farah said.
    Looks like someone has never seen FOX News.

  3. horsedreamer_1

    "Corsi", said the Blind Man to his Deaf Wife, as he picked up his hammer, then slammed it down into Jerome's head.

  4. memzilla

    It is delicious, teh ironeez! That a former employee of the corporation founded by William Randolph Hearst — the Father of Media Manipulation (Yellow Journalism) — should be complaining about media manipulation.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        Sorry, but Spain's not short on MILVES — though, really, even if only for Penelope Cruz, it would be enough — so no need to reclaim the Philippines.

    1. Beowoof

      I can see that leading to a reboot cycle where much Budweiser is needed to clear their heads.

    2. Doktor Zoom

      In Farah's case, he runs a breathless article citing The Onion as evidence that Harry Potter promotes Satanism. Then, after someone points out that The Onion is satire, he removes only the paragraph that quoted that publication.

        1. mumbly_joe

          Which is important, because that's how they warn those British that they're not goin' to take away their arms wings, or warning shots.

  5. BaldarTFlagass

    If this works out and they have to pay out, maybe Esquire's fashion selections won't run to $700 shirts, $1200 pairs of shoes, and $6,000 suits anymore.

  6. Oblios_Cap

    “You can’t just make up words and put them in people’s mouths, deliberately misleading the public, deliberately defaming others and deliberately lying…"

    Well shit. Isn't that the Fox News business model?

  7. Limeylizzie

    From the comments on WND…

    Richard Halavais · Top Commenter
    It's time we all sue liberal newspapers and TV networks and even Internet blogs for lying and misleading stories about conservatives. When they have to pay big bucks in damages maybe they'll be a little more careful about the crap they publish. For example, I think I have a case for damages against MSNBC and CNN and ABC, NBC and CBS because they failed to investigate and report on Obama's homosexual lover and that has caused me great financial damage. I, and you, could collect millions, untilwe drive them into bankruptcy.

    1. philpjfry

      I never cease to be amazed. I should be used to this crap by now, but I am always surprised at just how fucking stupid some people can be.

    2. ThundercatHo

      I'm dying to know how failing to report on Obama's homosexual lover has cost this Dick anything unless he's got some really clever T-shirts already made up.

      1. emmelemm

        He has suffered mental anguish that no one believes his delusional ramblings and everyone tells him to shut the fuck up.

        Much like the crazy homeless people one sees downtown, by the bus station. WHERE'S THEIR COMPENSATION? HUH???

    3. tihond

      Richard · Top Commenter
      "By not supplying us with pictures of Obama's homosexual lover, both with and without his shirt, I have been unable to decide how badly Obama is tearing America apart. This lack of reporting has caused a schism in my marriage that even viagra can no longer solve. Will anyone take my case?"

      1. Chet Kincaid

        "Obummer should be prostituted for pinning my shoulders to the floor with his slender, mocha calves and forcing his thickly-veined Socialism down my throat!11!1!"

    4. BaldarTFlagass

      As Harry Truman said, "I never did give anybody hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell."

    5. CapeClod

      This why these idiots are all for tax cuts for the rich. They have aspirations of gaining wealth via bat shit insane lawsuits

    6. mumbly_joe

      "Once we have single-party rule and eliminate opposition press, we'll finally be able to have true freedom!"

      I for one, am getting tired of explaining to people why it's not inaccurate or hyperbolic to call these people fascists.

  8. SorosBot

    Oddly enough? Falwell was the other side; it would be impossible for a side he's on to not be pure evil.

  9. PsycWench

    “You can’t just make up words and put them in people’s mouths, deliberately misleading the public, deliberately defaming others and deliberately lying to inhibit commerce,” Farah said
    Said the man who published Jerome Corsi??

    1. JustPixelz

      What is with this right-wing obsession with things going in mouths? Whether it's words or laws rammed down throats or Michelle Obama's healthy eating advocacy, they are orally obsessed. PsycWench: You know evil psychology, help me out.

      I think it might have something to do with oral sex.

        1. WriteyWriterton

          "Probably"? Gee, my undergraduate-C+-psych-major analytic skills tell me there ain't no probable there. It's a stone-cold certainty.

  10. V572 [SSAN]

    Farah worked at Esquire, a putatively serious quasi-gay publication? There's your lede.

  11. SorosBot

    And he's suing for $120 million? Come on now, no court in the universe would believe that there's that many gullible racist morons who would be willing to spend money on that piece of shit.

  12. BaldarTFlagass

    They said this:
    “You can’t just make up words and put them in people’s mouths, deliberately misleading the public, deliberately defaming others and deliberately lying to inhibit commerce,”
    about this:
    "the whole birther thing was probably just a hollow, exploitative attempt at monetizing the fears of stupid, racist people"

    Where are the falsehoods? I see none. Throw this out, your honor…

  13. Barb

    Morning WeeJee! Did you see where Bristol went on the TV to promote her book, and said of Bachmann:
    "I think [Michele Bachmann] dresses a lot like my mom," Bristol tells me. "But a lot, a lot of women have done that the last few years. I do think it's odd, you know, seeing people with red blazers with their hair up with glasses."
    Bristol added a giggle before continuing her thought about Bachmann, a Congresswoman from Minnessota. "I don't know if she's wearing glasses but you want to be hummmm, do you think that people don't notice you're dressing like my mom?"
    Yes, Sarah invented the red blazer and glasses.

  14. JoshuaNorton

    When they have to pay big bucks in damages maybe they'll be a little more careful about the crap they publish

    Did he provide an address? I need to know where to send his kettle.

  15. memzilla

    MAD Magazine will just throw the fershlugginer veeblefetzer at his head, and that'll be that.

  16. neiltheblaze

    “You can’t just make up words and put them in people’s mouths, deliberately misleading the public, deliberately defaming others and deliberately lying…"

    …..except if you're a Con.

  17. ThundercatHo

    Next issue they'll publish an essay about eating poor children which will go completely unnoticed because it wasn't about eating fetuses.

  18. PsycWench

    It was terribly damaging to my youthful idealism to realize that a coyote can never catch a roadrunner, even when fully supplied by the Acme corporation.

    1. GunToting[Redacted]

      It was only because onerous government regulations of Acme's products resulted in said products being sub-standard.

  19. EatsBabyDingos

    When asked a follow up question, Farah said "Yes the Lizard People and Red Lectoids are controlling my titanium spine and forcing my head up and down on this throbbing hunk of gristly manhood. Wicked strumpet, wicked strumpet!"

    Well, that's what he meant.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      And let's not forget that THAT incident was just a coverup for the smuggling in of at least 46 illegal aliens, including John Ya Ya, John Bigboote, John Grim, John Many Jars, John Coyote, John Fledgling, John Chief Crier, John Rajeesh, John Littlejohn, John Starbird, and John Smallberries.

      But not John Valuk. John Valuk is dead, he fell on his head.

  20. mumbly_joe

    From the TPM report:

    Both plaintiffs are also upset over a comment Warren gave to the Daily Caller, calling Farah and Corsi "execrable piece of shit."

    As an aside, it's worth noting that Truth is an absolute defense against slander.

  21. Barb

    Spurning, she doesn't understand that her mom dressed so poorly that McCain's flying monkeys had to go out to buy clothes for the family so that they would look less trashy. It's pretty bad when someone has to go out and buy underwear for your dad and he asks for silk boxers.

  22. Goonemeritus

    Don’t get me started, I fell hard for Natasha Fatale as a young child and carried that torch for years before someone broke the news that she was fictional

  23. EatsBabyDingos

    What's the difference between the Starship Enterprise and Farah?

    One circles Uranus and wipes out Klingons. The other does that with his tongue, but he is a douchebag.

  24. BaldarTFlagass

    I found out, to my eternal regret, that if a stick of dynamite blows up in your hand or your mouth, you don't merely get singed hair and your skin somewhat blackened. Also, you are not back to normal in the next scene.

  25. mumbly_joe

    the Hearst Corporation, for which I was employed for nearly a decade

    The decade in question wouldn't happen to be 1888-1898, by any chance, would it?

  26. ttommyunger

    Meanwhile, in Hell, Jerry Falwell is reading about this, chuckling and muttering to himself, "Good luck with that suit, motherfucker!".

  27. mavenmaven

    "deliberately misleading the public, deliberately defaming others and deliberately lying to inhibit commerce"

    isnt this the official position of the republican party?

  28. Beowoof

    What would be awesome would be someone getting video of O'Queef, giving blowjobs at a glory hole in an adult book store in New Orleans.

    1. Fare la Volpe

      But gay is no longer the character assassination it used to be.

      What would destroy his career would be if O'Keefe was caught sucking exclusively black and Mexican dick, and thus discriminating against whites. By wingnut logic, this would make him ineligible to be President.

  29. LetUsBray

    It's getting so you can't tell which news stories are from the Onion and which ones aren't.

    1. FakaktaSouth

      This is what I thought too, like, holy shit one of the wonkette freaks got Top Commenter – hahahaha? It HAS to be. Obama's homosexual lover causing distress? YOU FUCKERS TELL ME THIS IS FAKE. It really is a godammed ouroboros in there.

  30. genxr

    When Obama looked out the window of the oval office and saw a shirtless Biden washing his Camaro, it was all over.

    1. freakishlywrong

      Shouldn't be in shock Lizzie. Remember when that librul journalist called Dubya a dick on live teevee? And the cacophony of outraged wingers that ensued? Oh, you don't? Neither do I.

      Both sides do it™ , right Joe?

      1. Limeylizzie

        I don't know how Michelle can bear it. I hope Halperin is fired, I , as well we know, am not a prude but I find this just appalling.

        1. freakishlywrong

          It's disgraceful and I've written to tell them so. Granted, Halperin is an un-repentant hack, but that shit would never have been kosher with an (R) president, particularly, the most recent dick.

          1. Limeylizzie

            I called them I suggest we all do the same, I demanded that Halperin and Joe S both are fired. Here is the number for their comment line.

            Dial (212) 664-4444 to speak to someone at MSNBC news if you have important information and can't wait for a response to an email or letter.

          2. freakishlywrong

            Morning Blow is unwatchable. Too bad, they have some good guests, but the Obama bashing is relentless and getting ever more shrill. Joey S. was not concerned with the disrespect shown by Halperin, Joey S. apologized because "kids watch this show". That to me, is even more insidious.

          3. Limeylizzie

            Joe knew what Halperin was going to do, nay he encouraged it, it was just vile and childish, I no longer watch it since it's become a Republican wank festival.

          4. AJWjr.

            I was actually gladdened when they took him off the evening show and gave him the morning show, because it meant that I'd never have to see him again, even accidentally, out here in the Pacific time zone.

            I've taken off the gloves with MSNBC. Every time one of their right-wing paid associates comes on, no matter the show, I turn it off, and I've told them so. It used to be almost cute, the gentle back and forth between Rachel and Pat, but fuck that shit. If I want to hear what the right has to say, I know where to find it.

          5. mumbly_joe

            Thanks. I actually despise MSNBC for cointinuing to give unreconstructed bigot Pat Buchanan a platform to try to peddle his noxious pablum to mainstream audiences.

            I remember when he said of Justice Sotomayor that she was an unsuitable candidate because she was a Latina who taught herself English and went to an Ivy League school, which was self-evident proof that she was an "affirmative action student" and therefore no accomplishment that she had as a student or since is actually evidence of qualification, whatsoever. Yeah. I literally felt that I could vomit with rage over that one.

      2. Limeylizzie

        Hey baby, they have suspended him indefinitely, so our short-lived campaign has worked!

    2. ifthethunderdontgetya

      Mark Halperin is one of the worst whores masquerading as a journalist out there. Lest we forget, back when McCain couldn't remember how many houses he owns…

      HALPERIN : My hunch this is going to end up being one of the worst moments in the entire campaign for one of the candidates but it’s Barack Obama. … I believe that this opened the door to not just Tony Rezko in that ad, but to bring up Reverend Wright, to bring up his relationship with Bill Ayers.


    3. mumbly_joe

      I guess it's probably worth mentioning that this entire episode is almost assuredly Good News for John McCain.

    4. proudgrampa

      Ooooh, tempest in a teapot. The article mentioned when Schultz was suspended for calling Laura Ingraham a slut. What's wrong with that???

  31. freakishlywrong

    He has a special tray attachment on his hover-round so he doesn't have to get up when he expresses his first amendment rights.

  32. Barb

    You must have a copy of Bristol’s book to purchase either of Sarah’s books.
    Each person must be present to get a wristband. They’re not transferable.
    No belongings or bags allowed on stage for the signing.
    No memorabilia will be signed; no personalization allowed.
    No photos on stage; “cameras and cell phones are to be put away once you reach the stage stairs”
    Stay in line. If you leave to use the bathroom or get food for a short period, someone in your party must stay in line at all times.
    You had to buy Bristol's book to get to Sarah? I would say "how humiliating!" but Bristol is pretty much used to it by now, skanktestant #2 that she is.

  33. BaldarTFlagass

    This from people who probably believe that "The Protocols of the Elders of Zion" is no-bullshit non-fiction.

  34. genxr

    In other news, the only campaign song Michele Bachmann has permission to use now is Wang Dang Sweet Poontang.

    Or Stranglehold, though that may be already be claimed by a Republican Wisconsin judge.

  35. Doktor Zoom

    If you answered “the birther lunatics,” you would be correct.

    Please. That's "birthunatics."

  36. SorosBot

    They should hire Lionel Hutz, this should go as well as his false advertising suit against the makers of the film "The Neverending Story".

    1. Doktor Zoom

      you're so cute for thinking that historical impossibilities would mean anything to the inventors of "Nazis were left-wingers."

  37. ganmerlad

    First Farrah has to prove that any of his muzzy minded followers would read Esquire in the first place. Since it isn't WND or Fox or BigGarbage or porn, the chances are slim to none.

  38. finallyhappy

    and you know when they go for lawyers- they don't want people who got degrees at Liberty – they want those Harvard and Yale guys- damn liberal Jews(yes, cousins Mark and Jay- I am talking about you!- proudly)

  39. Tundra Grifter

    The StillBirthiers have brought about 100 lawsuits to court – and they are 0 fer 100.

    Looks like its going to be 0 for 101.

  40. proudgrampa

    “You can’t just make up words and put them in people’s mouths, deliberately misleading the public, deliberately defaming others and deliberately lying to inhibit commerce…"

    I have an idea: Let's just come up with three good comments, then copy/paste over and over. That would be fun!

  41. fuflans

    i know! i know! birthers should file a class action suit! certainly they have enough in common to represent a class of aggrieved plaintiffs!!

    oh, wait.

  42. GOPCrusher

    Sounds like someone is looking to make money from publishing and promoting this book, one way or the other.

  43. Redhead

    Always a victim, never responsible. It's the new Republican/ tea party motto (and Palin clan mantra).

  44. genxr

    The movie version will be called "Birther of a Nation" and the part of President Obama will be played by Andrew Breitbart in blackface.

  45. emmelemm

    Yeah, that really crescendoed – climaxed, if you will, there at the end.


  46. glamourdammerung

    Funny how conservatives want everyone to be "political correct" and not hurt their fragile little feelings.

  47. Beck_is_Trig

    You'd think after having so much egg on his face and porn 'stache considering the day after publishing this "book", Farah wouldn't want to delve back into this stupid, racist and shameless opportunism by himself and that nutjob Corsi, but no such luck. Anyway, it'll be funny if this case goes forward, it'll be fertile ground for more mockery of this fat, moronic bag of shit….and it's a sure loss "first amendment, bitches!"…so, I say why the hell not. Wingnuts sue for dumber shit than even this, anyway.

  48. Zombie_Reagan

    Interesting. I seem to remember wingnuts frothing about "greedy trial lawyers" and "frivolous lawsuits". I guess those standards only apply to causes they don't support.

    Oh, and as a lawyer, that complaint was hi-lar-i-ous.

  49. Negropolis

    Shh!! Don't let them find out about Wonkette, then. We're like the Esquire piece on HGH.

  50. crutnacker

    I'm sorry, but I don't believe this is the actual Esquire story. Until I see the longform story as created on Esquire's servers, I can't believe it to be true.

  51. comrad_darkness

    I honestly thought this reference was going to go under the radar. Sigh, i have found my people…

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