Michele Bachmann Groupies Rush To Edit Her History Errors Into Wikipedia

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

crazy on a stickSomewhere along the way, Internet nerd chat room Wikipedia became the keeper of Official American History, meaning that American History is now apparently just whatever Americans with Internet access and free time want it to be. Now that Michele Bachmann has mauled a few historical facts like any good Tea Party Patriot mauls the spelling on a protest sign, some of her faithful groupies have been trying to change Wikipedia pages to make the birthplace of movie actor John Wayne into a place where serial killer John Wayne Gacy once lived and to change John Quincy Adams to a “founding father.” See how easy it has become prove to everybody wrong now? We still remember the olden days when right-wing fanatics were forced to write whole strenuous textbooks about things like why dinosaurs are not real and how heaven starts right after Pluto. 

Probably her followers do not want Michele’s feelings hurt if she goes to fact-check herself on Wikipedia, but then again, see what we just wrote there? There is no point to this, other than to be laughed at. Or possibly Bachmann supporters just wanted to prove that THEY TOO can change American history in the only way they are smart enough to do, which is retroactively, just like Sarah Palin’s drone army tried to “fix” the Paul Revere page.

From RawStory:

Bachmann, who officially launched her campaign yesterday in Waterloo, Iowa, told a Fox News reporter that she was proud to be in the town where John Wayne was from, because she embodies his ideals. Unfortunately for her, it turns out that the actor John Wayne was not from Waterloo, but serial killer John Wayne Gacy was.

Shortly after the gaffe, the Wikipedia page for actor John Wayne was altered to change his birthplace from Winterset, Iowa to Waterloo, apparently as an effort to cover for the misguided politician.

Another edit came after she declared Tuesday morning that the nation’s sixth president, John Quincy Adams, was a “founding father,” even though he was just a child when his father, the nation’s second president, signed the Declaration of Independence.

This does makes us wonder if these anti-historian Wiki-vandals are actually real. It seems hard to believe that Michele Bachmann’s ancient white mouth-breather fan base can figure out the Wikipedia editing language. They are probably secret humor-minded libtards. They seem to know how to spell. [RawStory]

 
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{ 266 comments }

nounverb911 June 29, 2011 at 1:26 pm

Needs more Doublespeak revisionism.

memzilla June 29, 2011 at 1:31 pm

Nice Orwellian reference; and Ol' Crazy Eyes is a good imitation of a memory hole. Also.

Neoyorquino June 30, 2011 at 1:53 am

But, we've always been at war with Eastasia . . .

Barb June 29, 2011 at 1:27 pm

"…..there is no surer sign of a country's cultural and political decay than an obtuse blindness to it's unmistakable beginnings"
In reference to the misconceptions and suggestions of perfection in the founding fathers and American history, as seen through the eyes of Palin and Bachmann.

Simon Schama

JustPixelz June 29, 2011 at 1:44 pm

"They worked tirelessly to end slavery." And failed. Losers.

nounverb911 June 29, 2011 at 1:29 pm

Wait, Waterloo's in Belgium.

PsycWench June 29, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Waterloo is wherever Michele Bachmann happens to be.

user-of-owls June 29, 2011 at 1:56 pm

No, no, no. It's in Sweden, you silly thing.

Crank_Tango June 29, 2011 at 2:00 pm

yes, what you said.

horsedreamer_1 June 29, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Can you hear the drums, user-of-owls? That's Ken Layne bashing his head into a wall.

gvvt June 29, 2011 at 4:56 pm

I think you're referring to this version: http://youtu.be/ngBxDKJCyN4

dr_giraud June 29, 2011 at 4:35 pm

No, Waterloo's in upstate New York, next to Seneca Falls. Which means that Susan B. Anthony's from Waterloo, too.

See? I made a Bachmann!

AJWjr. June 29, 2011 at 6:21 pm

I've had my very own personal Waterloo ever since I upgraded from the old outhouse. Indoor plumbing is aces!

WABishop June 29, 2011 at 11:08 pm

Waterloo's where the Blackberrys are from.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 30, 2011 at 5:01 am

I been waiting for that one. The only Waterloo with a seriously good university.

V572 [SSAN] June 29, 2011 at 1:29 pm

Heaven got a bit closer when Pluto was downgraded from "planet" to "space rock" status. Pretty soon you'll be able to see Heaven from your porch, at least maybe up in Wasilla where the night sky isn't light polluted.

AnarchyWolf June 29, 2011 at 1:55 pm

Pluto is considered an ice dwarf, and there are numerous more out beyond its orbit.

Doktor Zoom June 29, 2011 at 2:07 pm

I've long held that heaven is a place on Earth.

Albeit a place where nothing ever happens.

(as for specifics, it may also be loacted in the vicinity of the dashboard lights, although some contend that the Garden of Eden was in Jackson County, Missouri.)

techmom June 29, 2011 at 11:32 pm

Have you seen Wasilla? No stars visible where strip malls and parking lots cover the ground.

V572 [SSAN] June 29, 2011 at 11:35 pm

Maybe I had it mixed up with Delta Junction.

Negropolis June 30, 2011 at 3:16 am

Pretty soon you'll be able to see Heaven from your porch…

That was beautiful. You're a regular Emily Dickinson. Or was it Amy Dickinson? Maybe Angie Dickinson? Aww, fuck it; I give up.

hagajim June 29, 2011 at 1:30 pm

I guess if you want to go back to the Declaration/Constitution, maybe you ought to fucking know who was involved in its writing. Stupid, batshit crazy, cunt.

Geminisunmars June 29, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Hey. God told her what was in it. That's good enough for her. Why isn't it for you?

Doktor Zoom June 29, 2011 at 2:36 pm

Thing is, they don't want to go back to the Constitution…they want to go back to the Articles of Confederation.

Negropolis June 30, 2011 at 3:21 am

Are you kidding? They want to go back to the Ten Commandments. If they were good enough for Jesus, they will be good enough for America.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 30, 2011 at 5:04 am

Jesus and the Ten Commandments????

Wikipedia, here I come!

Negropolis June 30, 2011 at 7:00 am

Don't you know? Jesus personally wrote the Ten Commandments which he passed out to Moses on the Mount of Caramel Macchiato. Then-President George Washington was among the witnesses to its signing. Didn't youo read your Texas-sanctioned History-like textbook in school?

BaldarTFlagass June 29, 2011 at 1:30 pm

Precocious!!

user-of-owls June 29, 2011 at 1:54 pm

One helluva prodigy, that ol' J-Cue.

mavenmaven June 29, 2011 at 1:31 pm

John Wayne Gacy was just exercising his second amendment rights to tea bagging.

Buckminster June 29, 2011 at 1:32 pm

"But even as an embryo, John Quincy Adams could feel pain and was a Founding Father."

I doff my cap to you, sir!

tihond June 29, 2011 at 1:32 pm

Babies having babies, yo.

memzilla June 29, 2011 at 1:32 pm

Say, you know who else's supporters tried to rewrite history… ?

ifthethunderdontgetya June 29, 2011 at 1:35 pm

Senators Kyl and Huckleberry Graham, re: Hamdan
~

weejee June 29, 2011 at 1:38 pm

Henry Tudor?

genxr June 29, 2011 at 1:39 pm

Generic Republican?

elviouslyqueer June 29, 2011 at 1:39 pm

Clay Aiken?

nounverb911 June 29, 2011 at 1:40 pm

Jeebus?

genxr June 29, 2011 at 1:43 pm

Jeebus' biographers?

memzilla June 29, 2011 at 2:06 pm

Jeebus' biographers' money-changers?

flamingpdog June 29, 2011 at 1:43 pm

Blago?

RedneckMuslin June 29, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Ronald Reagan?

ChessieNefercat June 29, 2011 at 1:57 pm

Aw, come on guys, we're gonna give Tundratwat's followers a sad. No one has mentioned the Paul Revere debacle.

SorosBot June 29, 2011 at 2:10 pm

George Lucas?

Doktor Zoom June 30, 2011 at 12:23 am

Paul Revere shot first!

imissopus June 29, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Skynet?

CapeClod June 29, 2011 at 2:20 pm

John Wayne?

Chet Kincaid June 29, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Alright memzilla and Sue4466 – who is offering the bigger prize-purse on this one?

jus_wonderin June 29, 2011 at 2:25 pm

The Doublemint Twins?

MLHencken June 29, 2011 at 2:39 pm

Herotodus?

SorosBot June 29, 2011 at 3:25 pm

The Doctor?

GOPCrusher June 29, 2011 at 3:57 pm

William Henry Harrison?

zhubajie June 29, 2011 at 7:43 pm

Usually it's defeated generals and disgraced politicians who have time to write history, usually whitewashing themselves and smearing their opponents. Ancient history is all by ancient Wonketteers! Occasionally some fictioneer has fun with "fact" too.

Negropolis June 30, 2011 at 3:24 am

The cast of Lost?

Spoiler alert: "It worked…"

Biel_ze_Bubba June 30, 2011 at 5:06 am

AOT,K.

Chillwaver June 29, 2011 at 1:32 pm

Bravo, Tetards…you won an Internetz! Your next mission is to add "45th President of the United States" to Michele's wiki page.

elviouslyqueer June 29, 2011 at 1:50 pm

You get an Internet! And you get an Internet! And you get an Internet! You're all getting Internets!

ChessieNefercat June 29, 2011 at 1:32 pm

Hatched. Hatched, not born. Cacaw!

ManchuCandidate June 29, 2011 at 1:33 pm

And the wingnuts say we're deluded?

Lucidamente1 June 29, 2011 at 1:33 pm

After their training period on this site, Wonkette downfister trolls graduate to "editing" Wikipedia.

emmelemm June 29, 2011 at 2:06 pm

Sad, but probably true.

bumfug June 29, 2011 at 1:36 pm

They just caught Bachmann's fans altering John Wayne Gacy's page to show that he was only hiding young boys in his crawlspace to keep them safe from the Nazis.

Lucidamente1 June 29, 2011 at 1:37 pm

and George Soros.

genxr June 29, 2011 at 1:40 pm

Correction: The liberal</em Nazis.

Oblios_Cap June 29, 2011 at 2:05 pm

"Tears of a Clown".

It's a TeaTard classic!

Rarian Rakista June 29, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Tea Partiers are what the child porn viewing, gas huffing trolls of 4chan grow up to be. They also have a habit of defacing Wikipedia when it disagrees with their warped reality.

ifthethunderdontgetya June 29, 2011 at 1:38 pm

History is being fascist against One L.
~

sportshort June 29, 2011 at 1:39 pm

You smart people need to get it into your heads that dumb people have much every right dumb to be as we can be. For too much long, this things of true things are making us feel superiorless and helpful. In the way to come all history is down to earthy people happy in their bliss and blindfull of any of your thinking-stuff. Amen and over. And out.

V572 [SSAN] June 29, 2011 at 1:43 pm

Well stated! Did Lou Sarah help you edit it?

flamingpdog June 29, 2011 at 8:44 pm

Damn, I never realized til now that Lou Sarah spoke Nigeriglish.

genxr June 29, 2011 at 1:45 pm

Howard Johnson is right!

LesPaultard June 29, 2011 at 2:33 pm

Too much punctuation.

Ducksworthy June 29, 2011 at 1:40 pm

You are. All "facts" regarding Michele Bachmann (except for the one about her raising foster children like veal, for the money and Marcus's enjoyment) are negative facts which shrink the size of your brain on hearing them.

weejee June 29, 2011 at 1:40 pm

Facts are what the tards say they are carnsarnit!

Redhead June 29, 2011 at 1:41 pm

I could have SWORN Wonkette had this exact same headline up the last time this maniac opened her trap. But that CAN'T be right, can it?

Oblios_Cap June 29, 2011 at 1:54 pm

You're thinking of The $nowbilly.

Chet Kincaid June 29, 2011 at 1:55 pm

I know, it's hard to keep up with which dumb cunt said what and what her miscreant enthusiasts crapped online. Here's how to tell these bitches apart: In Sarahland, winter is 13 months of the year. In Chelyland, it's only 11 months.

widestanceroman June 29, 2011 at 1:57 pm

It will be a regular feature as the campaign drags on.

ArmoredBore June 29, 2011 at 2:10 pm
pinkocommi June 29, 2011 at 1:42 pm

After hearing the NPR story this morning saying that Michele Bachmann is the leading religious conservative Republican candidate, I thought to myself, "Fuck! I'm actually going to have to take her candidacy seriously." And then shit like this happens and Michele is making it so, so hard.

SorosBot June 29, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Well the other option is Santorum, so that's a choice between two evils.

LesBontemps June 29, 2011 at 2:52 pm

No no — Bachmann/Santorum 2012!!!!!!

Wait, Bachmann Santorum? Eewww.

FlyOverGirl June 29, 2011 at 3:43 pm

Hmmm. Bachmann is insanely anti-LGBT, saying things like “If you’re involved in the gay and lesbian lifestyle, it’s bondage. It is personal bondage, personal despair and personal enslavement" and she's done stuff like hide in the bushes during rallies, etc.

So why hasn't Dan Savage created a contest to name "Bachmann"?

Sue4466 June 29, 2011 at 1:44 pm

You know who else's minions change the facts to ensure their dear leader isn't embarrassed about being repeatedly wrong . . .

GregComlish June 29, 2011 at 2:02 pm

Tori Spelling?

Monsieur_Grumpe June 29, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Oooh! Ooooh! I know this one! Pick me!
*Waving hand frantically in the air*

ChessieNefercat June 29, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Hey, are the thousands that have been waiting in line since 5:00 am for the Grifter Gals causing enormous traffic problems in the Minneapolis area yet?

Sue4466 June 29, 2011 at 2:58 pm

Oui Monsieur?

GOPCrusher June 29, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Zaphod Beeblebrox?

zhubajie June 29, 2011 at 7:48 pm

Fritz Leiber, in _The Big Time_!

Beowoof June 29, 2011 at 1:45 pm

Sure we want to work with real facts for the good the country. That's why Wikipedia is such a stellar source of clearl thoughtful factual presentations.

Wikeipedia appears to be as factual as Fox News.

Barb June 29, 2011 at 1:46 pm

Yes Chet, why do you ask?

Chet Kincaid June 29, 2011 at 1:47 pm

Just teasin'.

freakishlywrong June 29, 2011 at 1:46 pm

Jesus Wikibagging Christ. THESE people.

MissTaken June 29, 2011 at 1:46 pm

John Wayne vs John Wayne Gacy, and then John Adams vs John Quincy Adams.

Either Michele has a problem with men named John or the 3 name thingy really confuses her. I'm guessing both.

SexySmurf June 29, 2011 at 1:57 pm

Just wait until she confuses John Wilkes Booth with John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.

horsedreamer_1 June 29, 2011 at 3:30 pm

She's totally lucid about Barack Hussein Osama Obama, though.

AnarchyWolf June 29, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Yeah, peoples names sure make them evil, my 85 year old neighbor Adolf is totally a Nazi and not a daughtering old preacher.

gurukalehuru June 30, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Yeah, but she knows that John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmitt song by heart – all 57 verses.

Native_of_SL_UT June 29, 2011 at 1:46 pm

No, this was the guy creating his own reality remember? They were jumping ahead of history.

SayItWithWookies June 29, 2011 at 1:47 pm

Saying it's so for long enough makes it true — Michele's currently-straight husband is living proof.

DaSandman June 29, 2011 at 1:47 pm

The only thing necessary for the triumph of the stupid is for good people to write nothing.

Noman June 29, 2011 at 2:16 pm

OK, if you insist, I'll continue posting.

Graham Cracker June 29, 2011 at 3:30 pm

nothing

NorthStarSpanx June 29, 2011 at 1:47 pm

Shit. It's becoming easier to be stupid and have a fan-base do all the heavy-lifting to make you right.

BaldarTFlagass June 29, 2011 at 1:47 pm

Well, they didn't have to edit Conservapedia, because it already said all that.

Sheesko June 29, 2011 at 5:00 pm

I just visited that site for the first time. I need a drink. A red, very liberal, feminist drink. Or two or three.

Beowoof June 29, 2011 at 1:49 pm

I don't believe Mr. Gacy is the only psycho serial killer from Waterloo, Iowa, there is another one on the whorizon.

Tundra Grifter June 29, 2011 at 1:49 pm

John Quincy Adams – Founding Nephew?

genxr June 29, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Verily, 'twas a foster country.

user-of-owls June 29, 2011 at 1:51 pm

heaven starts right after Pluto.

Wait a minute here. If both heaven and Uranus start after Pluto, does that mean…?

ifthethunderdontgetya June 29, 2011 at 1:53 pm

What (or who) comes after Uranus?
~

user-of-owls June 29, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Actually, my metaphysical question is whether heaven and ur-anus are the same thing.

Cuz if that's true, there's a few millenia worth of theologians who are gonna have some 'splainin to do. (e.g., Martin Luther ain't gonna be nailing a tree this time around.)

nonbeliever7 June 29, 2011 at 2:20 pm

Yes, it means you think like a 5th grader…at least when you're Wonketting…(Wonking?)

user-of-owls June 29, 2011 at 2:25 pm

I'd take a bit of issue with that. It could, in fact, be a pretty formidable philosophical puzzle. Both are past Pluto; heaven is infinite, ergo at least part of heaven can be located in ur-anus.

volley return

starfanglednut June 29, 2011 at 11:15 pm

It simple. Teh buttsekcks is heaven!

JustPixelz June 29, 2011 at 1:52 pm

I suppose I could go to Wikipedia and edit in something I want her to repeat. Like "George Washington said America is not a Christian nation". Oh wait, he actually said that. How about Thomas Jefferson said "The appointment of a woman to office is an innovation for which the public is not prepared, nor I.". Oh wait, he actually did say that — I guess he anticipated Bachmann's candidacy. Oh hell, I'll just go with "Al Hamilton was a fabulous Founding Father."

littlebigdaddy June 29, 2011 at 1:57 pm

He did nicely fill out his breeches.

chascates June 29, 2011 at 1:53 pm

They should just stick to Teapedia, where up is down and black is white.

AnarchyWolf June 29, 2011 at 4:11 pm

And corporate uncle Tom sellout is Marxist fascist Kenyan Muslim.

GodShammgod June 29, 2011 at 1:53 pm

All Republicans are like this. There was this one person I went to college with who became the press secretary for David Rivera (a laughably corrupt first-term Congressman). She was caught whitewashing his Wikipedia entry, and didn't even bother to use an assumed name.

So yes, they're all scumbags. And stupid. The only reason they get away with it is because most Americans are dumb as dirt.

horsedreamer_1 June 29, 2011 at 3:09 pm

I remember this: wasn't his mother or grandmother involved in a kickback scandal?

arihaya June 29, 2011 at 10:04 pm

… most Americans are dumb as dirt.

now that was just unfair to dirt

baconzgood June 29, 2011 at 1:53 pm

I should Wikipedia Michele Bachmann as: "crazy fucking cunt who was born in Kenya and spent the first 20 years of her life with Jim Jones. Was in a loony binn. Eats kittens for lunch then shits in a cup only to force her foster children to fuck it or eat it depending on which one last had gay sex with her or her husband (Charles Manson)."

Too bad I was already banned from Wikipedia for snarking it.

ChessieNefercat June 29, 2011 at 1:53 pm

I'm sure the interviewer was startled off-balance by her glaring idiocy. Unfortunate, because it would have been nice to see her asked if she even knew the difference between John Adams (of miniseries fame!) and John Quincy Adams. Dumbass.

We've had to listen to these dolts yammer on about their alleged superiority in the realm of morals (do as I say, not as I do!), economics (taxes bad, taxcuts good!), parliamentary procedure (filibuster!), legislation, etc., etc. While being demonstrably, verifiably, empirically wrong on just about everything.

But now! Now, these cretinous, clownish, yammering buffoons have dragged the national discourse down to third-grade level US history lessons? Lessons which they get wrong?! And this is what the media then ends up focusing on?!

So should the next Republican stupidass, dumbfuck, clowncandidate debate be hosted by "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader (answer: no)"?

Jesus. The election for the presidency of the United States. And people with the educational and maturity level of Miss Sagbottom's third grade remedial paste-eating class are allowed to participate.

lumpenprole June 30, 2011 at 11:06 am

I picture Ralph Wiggum all grown up, completely twisted from a lifetime of Nelson beating the sweetness out of him.

Limeylizzie June 29, 2011 at 1:54 pm

Can someone update my Wiki page, when I get one, to say I'm 5'7"?

user-of-owls June 29, 2011 at 2:08 pm

Um, darling? Why does your real name crop up so very often with Salmon Rushdie in searches? Did you and Sal, you know, fatwa together or something?

Chet Kincaid June 29, 2011 at 2:10 pm

Somebody's trolling for limeylizzie pics!

Limeylizzie June 29, 2011 at 2:15 pm

There are some out there.

user-of-owls June 29, 2011 at 2:20 pm

And they are fabulous!!

Limeylizzie June 29, 2011 at 2:20 pm

I have briefly replaced my avatar picture with one of me , some years ago, in a wig, very heavy make-up and fake tits!

Limeylizzie June 29, 2011 at 2:11 pm

He was married to a woman with the same name, there is also a country singer and I have had friends of mine congratulate me on an album that she released.

Limeylizzie June 29, 2011 at 2:21 pm

The downfister downfisted you, he's jealous of our love.

CapeClod June 29, 2011 at 2:29 pm

I'll throw in that you have an awesome rack.

Limeylizzie June 29, 2011 at 2:33 pm

Duh.

edgydrifter June 29, 2011 at 1:55 pm

Wow! Ayn Rand was a born-again Christian and scientists have proven Jesus really did ride dinosaurs. Thanks, interwebs!

JoshuaNorton June 29, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Doncha just lurve it when "She didn't sound as crazy as usual" is how the winner of a GOP presidential primary debate is chosen?

ChessieNefercat June 29, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Look! She didn't drool or piddle or wear hooker boots! She is a "serious" candidate!

Jukesgrrl June 30, 2011 at 5:43 am

And her hair is so pretty I think I'll vote twice.

Negropolis June 30, 2011 at 3:36 am

The bigotry of low expectations, indeed.

Doktor Zoom June 29, 2011 at 1:57 pm

Michele Bachmann: duckspeak plusgood, bellyfeel doubleplusgood, but oldthink doubleplusungood.

Rec. Unperson ASAP, Memory Hole.

Negropolis June 30, 2011 at 3:37 am

I'll have to translate that, later, but kudos for the 1984 reference. Doubleplusgood kudos, in fact.

AnarchyWolf June 29, 2011 at 1:58 pm

Does anybody realize how absolutely insane this is? I mean these people are trying REWRITE history to match what politicians say. This is INSANE! If this is what the United States of America has been reduced to then may some Holy Spaghetti Creature please guide us with Its Invisible Noodley appendage.

edgydrifter June 29, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Maybe it really was over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor.

flamingpdog June 29, 2011 at 9:12 pm

You're on a roll, drift.

freakishlywrong June 29, 2011 at 2:03 pm

Also, idiot, are you aware of John Wayne's "ideals"? Wiki that, teatards, and then announce that you embrace them. That woman is an idiot.

nounverb911 June 29, 2011 at 2:04 pm

Didn't Newt say "I cannot tell a lie"?

widestanceroman June 29, 2011 at 2:14 pm

Sort of, but he's misquoted. He said, "I can not tell a lie from the truth."

BaldarTFlagass June 29, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Yeah, right after he banged some cherry chick, or something.

Goonemeritus June 29, 2011 at 2:09 pm

My last corporation made us submit our 5 year career goals every year. I always went with becoming a Calvin Klein underwear model.

elviouslyqueer June 29, 2011 at 2:48 pm

FAP FAP FAP

AJWjr. June 29, 2011 at 6:53 pm

I always wrote that I intended to replace my own boss by next year, which somehow never happened. It's like he knew something, somehow.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 30, 2011 at 5:20 am

That, sir, is funny.

Terry June 29, 2011 at 2:15 pm

John Quincy Adams is more appropriately called a Founding Son, I think.

user-of-owls June 29, 2011 at 2:40 pm

So, kind of like a Suckling Founder?

ChessieNefercat June 29, 2011 at 2:15 pm

I'm so gullible. I actually rushed over there and looked. But sadly, there is no accomplishments section on her Wikipedia page.

Dudleydidwrong June 29, 2011 at 5:11 pm

If there ever is (accomplishments? Bachmann?) then that entry should be first.

Jukesgrrl June 30, 2011 at 5:29 am

They're carved on her mausoleum.

Slim_Pickins June 29, 2011 at 2:17 pm

She and her sycophants have learned "the BIG LIE" technique from their Soviet masters, well.

Doktor Zoom June 29, 2011 at 2:20 pm

In her announcement speech, Bachmann said "everything I needed to know, I learned in Iowa."

Finally–public schools in Mississippi have a system to feel superior to.

user-of-owls June 29, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Hey! Haven't I made it abundantly clear that we here in Arkansas own the phrase, "Thank God for Mississippi."

BaldarTFlagass June 29, 2011 at 3:40 pm

We used to use that phrase here in Texas. <Used</i> to.

BaldarTFlagass June 29, 2011 at 3:42 pm

We used to use that phrase here in Texas. Used to.

Doktor Zoom June 30, 2011 at 12:20 am

Also still used in Idaho.

Radiotherapy® June 29, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Hey, that's the same thing a certain teenage boy loving psychopathic clown said.

AJWjr. June 29, 2011 at 7:02 pm

And she moved to Minnesota when she was 12, which tells me everything I need to know about her.

SorosBot June 29, 2011 at 2:20 pm

Well at least with the Wikipedia editors we know the answer to the "Stupid or lying?" question for once.

The thing is, it's easy for the wingnuts – since their supporters mostly don't work anymore, they've got all day to spend wasting time on the internet while collecting their Social Security and whining that the government should stay out of their lives. The wiki-editors are one example; our troll is another.

Noman June 29, 2011 at 2:21 pm

You post so much here, is this your full-time employment?

SorosBot June 29, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Wonkette doesn't pay commenters like that racist shit Breitbart does, moron.

user-of-owls June 29, 2011 at 2:44 pm

caput mauris.

ifthethunderdontgetya June 29, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Congrats to Spanky2, who is now over 9,100 inane scribblings.

On one of his accounts.
~

user-of-owls June 29, 2011 at 2:22 pm

I have. It is. I do, too.

DaRooster June 29, 2011 at 2:23 pm

"They are probably secret humor-minded libtards. They seem seam to two know no how to spell."

jus_wonderin June 29, 2011 at 2:23 pm

I'd say, end of list!!

Chet Kincaid June 29, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Pack some extras, in case somebody comes down with Roji Panty Complex!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMGeEVcyKdY

Gleem_McShineys June 29, 2011 at 5:08 pm

Six billion Richard Basehart action figures to you for the reference!

Doktor Zoom June 29, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Bachmann explained that "John Quincy Adams most certainly was a part of the Revolutionary War era," so he counts as a Founding Father.

As I said yesterday, by this standard, I am a Vietnam vet.

Who participated in the moon landings.

Sadly, I was brought low by Watergate.

genxr June 29, 2011 at 2:40 pm

I was old enough to be the last war-fetus out of Saigon.

BaldarTFlagass June 29, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Fetuses love helicopter rides, though!

jus_wonderin June 29, 2011 at 2:44 pm

I was co-creator of the Emmy Award winning "The Bob Newhart Show" and, sadly, a writer for "Welcome Back, Kotter".

We all have our successes and….well, you know.

I have this new idea. Shhhh. Don't spread it around. People compete to eat bugs and win 50K.

mavenmaven June 29, 2011 at 5:23 pm

I stuck around st. petersburg
When I saw it was a time for a change
Killed the czar and his ministers
Anastasia screamed in vain
I rode a tank
Held a generals rank
When the blitzkrieg raged
And the bodies stank
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name

flamingpdog June 29, 2011 at 9:37 pm

Biel za Bubba? For shame, having two Intense Debate accounts!

Biel_ze_Bubba June 30, 2011 at 5:34 am

Every voice in my head has its own account – that's OK, isn't it?

finallyhappy June 29, 2011 at 6:44 pm

I shopped at Watergate but never stole anything

Jukesgrrl June 30, 2011 at 5:54 am

I was a member of The Beatles. You're welcome.

lumpenprole June 30, 2011 at 11:20 am

Sorry about the Reagan Revolution everyone. My bad.

mumbly_joe June 29, 2011 at 2:33 pm

For some reason, they didn't mention the bigger gaffe, where John Wayne was a white supremacist World-War II draft-dodger.

Wait, I suppose with the people supporting Michelle Bachman, that's not actually much of a gaffe, really.

SorosBot June 29, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Those are a plus, as is the support of Joe McCarthy (who many wingnuts still support), pro-Vietnam War propaganda and membership in the John Birch society.

For whatever reason, people now tend to remember Wayne fondly for his acting and forget that he was horrible, horrible human being.

CapeClod June 29, 2011 at 2:39 pm

No, it isn't. Because in their minds, John Wayne also singlehandedly won World War II.

I love how Jimmy Stewart's war record makes John Wayne look like a cringing pussy.

weejee June 29, 2011 at 2:52 pm

But teh Duke loved the Latinas joe – he married a half-six pack of 'em.

GOPCrusher June 29, 2011 at 4:41 pm

The same with Ronald Reagan. But he single-handily won the Cold War by making all those anti-Communist propaganda movies in the early 50's.

Noman June 29, 2011 at 6:12 pm

"with the people supporting Michelle Bachman"

s/b Michele Bachmann

one l
two n

so many libunatics to educate, so little time.

mumbly_joe June 30, 2011 at 12:55 am

When snarking at work,
One cares little for spelling;
Please go fuck yourself.

Noman June 30, 2011 at 7:17 pm

Extreme double standards – thanks for that example.

mumbly_joe July 5, 2011 at 9:26 am

Uhhh, what? Misspelling Shelly McCrazy's name, and openly admitting it's because I'm lazy and in a hurry and pretty indifferent to things like spelling as long as one's meaning gets communicated effectively is now an example of "extreme double-standards"? I also drop the "c" from Obama's first name regularly, because of its similarity to a colleague's last name; what does that make me? Double-Hitler?

Seriously. "double-standard" implies I've ever expressed a view to the contrary of, "as long as your meaning is clear, who gives a fuck". It also implies that whether or not one is or isn't a spelling prescriptivist is some how relevant to anything at all in life, ever; I mean, come on, Spanky, I know you've always been light on material, but I'd hope you could do a bit better than "Your indiferrence to spelling proves that libruls are morally weak".

freakishlywrong June 29, 2011 at 2:38 pm

OMG. I just did. There were pictures of a drunk girl, on a toilet, drinking a beer and HOLDING A BABY..(not me). And then, OMG, Fat Jesus! Pics of Chris Christie! Sob!

Limeylizzie June 29, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Oh my fucking Christ, I am so sorry! Yet, I am screaming with laughter as I type.

freakishlywrong June 29, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Limey, I only see the old ugly Republican lady when I click on/mouse over your avatar? (I"m still shaking)…

Limeylizzie June 29, 2011 at 3:00 pm

It was there, but briefly, I took it down, I may put it back at a later date, I am completely unrecognizable in it, looking more like a drag queen .

johnnymeatworth June 29, 2011 at 2:38 pm

This just in, she's also announced that she will nominate David Berkowitz Postmaster General if she becomes President.

Doktor Zoom June 30, 2011 at 12:30 am

He's a Founder, too, isn't he? Son of Sam Adams?

Biel_ze_Bubba June 30, 2011 at 5:39 am

Berkowitz? I thought Ted Kaczynski had the inside track.

user-of-owls June 29, 2011 at 2:38 pm

…and, yet, still they come.

genxr June 29, 2011 at 2:39 pm

John Quincy Adams was 8 years old? Teatards would have an easier time if the Constitution were written at that reading level.

glamourdammerung June 29, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Is this behavior any different than trolls rushing websites to do the same thing?

Ducksworthy June 29, 2011 at 2:43 pm

When Michele convinces me that 2+2 really does always equal 5, please somebody get me a case of Victory Gin.

Doktor Zoom June 29, 2011 at 2:44 pm

Pish-tosh–no way you're 8 years old.

flamingpdog June 29, 2011 at 9:41 pm

I issued a warning of a "military industrial complex" developing in America.

Pfft, nobody pays any attention to me these days, either.

WABishop June 29, 2011 at 11:15 pm

Cancellation of the Apollo program? That was me.

Chet Kincaid June 29, 2011 at 2:46 pm

On top of that, all of the "people" in the Disney Universe appeared to be black dogs with tiny floppy ears and little black noses! See entry under Disney & Pixar:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FurryC

BaldarTFlagass June 29, 2011 at 2:46 pm

It's a tube station in London. Ray Davies and the Kinks did an awesome song about it couple years back (1968, methinks).

elviouslyqueer June 29, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Poor Alex sure got a Burr in his britches, amirite?

Sue4466 June 29, 2011 at 2:58 pm

memzilla was first. I missed it. frick.

BaldarTFlagass June 29, 2011 at 3:04 pm

too bad you can't go back and alter his post.

HistoriCat June 29, 2011 at 2:59 pm

About two children ago.

Barb June 29, 2011 at 3:42 pm

Yeah, kids can be expensive. Grandkids are even more expensive.

horsedreamer_1 June 29, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Little known fact: Betsy Ross was the inspiration for Mary Kay Le Tourneau.

Radiotherapy® June 29, 2011 at 3:02 pm

This is all just practice for the real upcoming campaign of the quitter grifter.

DerrickWildcat June 29, 2011 at 3:06 pm

She is weird.

SorosBot June 29, 2011 at 3:11 pm

I just did, and it appears that I'm black. Somehow I never noticed.

WABishop June 29, 2011 at 11:13 pm

You don't see color?

PsycWench June 30, 2011 at 9:03 am

You thought all penises were that large?

freakishlywrong June 29, 2011 at 3:14 pm

I want her asked daily, "from whom do you want to take your country back"? Daily.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 30, 2011 at 6:37 am

And "how far back", also.

jus_wonderin June 29, 2011 at 3:15 pm

I do like that one. But when she sings "A Spoonful of Sugar" I just go all soft inside.

SorosBot June 29, 2011 at 3:20 pm

History became legend. Legend became myth. And for two and a half thousand years, the ring passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, the ring ensnared another bearer. The ring came to the creature Bachmann, who took it deep into the tunnels under Minnesota, and there it consumed her.

BaldarTFlagass June 29, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Hitchens weighs in. Though I don't always agree with the guy, his disdain for American idiocy carries the day with me.
http://www.slate.com/id/2298087/

Doktor Zoom June 30, 2011 at 1:21 am

Best line: "all politics is yokel?"

Rarian Rakista June 29, 2011 at 3:30 pm

If you get boxed wine you can fashion the space bag inside into retro 70's space panties and use the boxes for shoes!

BaldarTFlagass June 29, 2011 at 3:33 pm

What, are you some kind of survivalist or somethin'?

Rarian Rakista June 29, 2011 at 3:43 pm

They also need to Google how to dispose of their children's lifeless bodies that they tortured to death because "god told them so" as well.
http://arts.bev.net/roperldavid/politics/childabu

BaldarTFlagass June 29, 2011 at 3:50 pm

Yeah, but start a new one after 200 comments or so; more than that and my computer starts to act like it was built in 1910 instead of 2010.

krazyvladimir June 29, 2011 at 4:06 pm

At least no one tried to change the John Wayne Gacy's entry.

hooray4anything June 29, 2011 at 4:38 pm

Thus the NRA's belief that it would be unConstitutional if gun dealers were to check to see if the person buying the gun ever killed, kidnapped, or ate children

Sheesko June 29, 2011 at 5:04 pm

No can do. We have to keep promoting that life begins at denial.

lochnessmonster June 29, 2011 at 5:20 pm

I at least hold a little hope out for her followers if they know what Wikipedia is AND they know how to alter the postings! There is a glimmer of intelligence if they can do that!

ChessieNefercat June 29, 2011 at 6:14 pm

Yes, but I think they personify the concept that "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing."

Noman June 29, 2011 at 6:07 pm

John Wayne…gay? Si!

finallyhappy June 29, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Gee, I have a woman who murdered her baby and then put her in a dumpster.

Limeylizzie June 29, 2011 at 6:49 pm

Excellent!

PsycWench June 29, 2011 at 10:51 pm

I'm a female pedophile.

WABishop June 29, 2011 at 11:13 pm

Yes, but what do you get when you search for your name in Google Images?

finallyhappy June 29, 2011 at 6:47 pm

I thnk they react to libraries the way vampires do to sunlight(real vampires- not the Twilight trash)

KhalMojo June 29, 2011 at 8:16 pm

Because it worked so well for Palin, right Bachmann?

flamingpdog June 29, 2011 at 9:11 pm

Ignorance is bliss? Who knew that noman is perpetually orgasmic?

flamingpdog June 29, 2011 at 9:29 pm

I had these heavy, but thin steel weights from the bottom of some old drapes that I would put in the prepaid return envelopes, hoping it would cost them a couple of dollars rather than the 44 cents or whatever.

flamingpdog June 29, 2011 at 9:30 pm

At least the War on Intelligence is going well …

flamingpdog June 29, 2011 at 9:45 pm

I think they prefer Black out. White is in.

blewstate June 29, 2011 at 11:03 pm

Bachmann finally says something accurate and true http://blewstate.net/2011/06/29/breaking-bachmann

Doktor Zoom June 30, 2011 at 12:16 am

Cherry Pez.

Negropolis June 30, 2011 at 2:44 am

I'd like to suggest an alternative to the alt text "crazy on a stick". How about "sex in a straightjacket?"

BTW, what's up with Dave Letterman constantly calling her "O'Bachmann"? At first I thought it was a joke, but now I'm convinced that he's having an eternal senior moment.

flamingpdog June 30, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Mebbe it's a riff on our current Kenyan/Irish Prez, Barry O'Bama?

Negropolis June 30, 2011 at 3:31 am

Oh, all of them, Katie-Chet.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 30, 2011 at 5:29 am

Hell, the woman is at war with reality. That never goes well, in the long run; we can only hope that the "long run" is considerably less than our lifetimes.

Jukesgrrl June 30, 2011 at 5:30 am

Or Texas schoolbooks.

Limeylizzie June 30, 2011 at 8:06 am

I love you with the heat of a thousand suns.

lumpenprole June 30, 2011 at 11:17 am

I think the rigors of newspeak would be too much for this crowd. The thought police would have nervous breakdowns everytime Bachmann opened her mouth. Winston Smith would go postal.

flamingpdog June 30, 2011 at 2:20 pm

You and Zombie Reagan need to get together for lunch sometime.

Limeylizzie June 29, 2011 at 2:25 pm

It's probably someone else.

horsedreamer_1 June 29, 2011 at 3:05 pm

Ah, the California Compromise:

(one.) Admit Cali. to the Union as a Free State.

(two.) Ban slave auctions in District of Columbia.

(three.) Allow slave-wranglers to cross into Free States to capture fugitives.

(four.) Organize New Mexico & Utah Territories as neither slave nor free ("popular sovereignty"), with the residents deciding at time of statehood if they would not permit slavery.

Good times.

SorosBot June 29, 2011 at 3:23 pm

I was responsible for Reagan's reelection; sorry.

BaldarTFlagass June 29, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Fuck, that means I shot RFK and MLK, and beat the protestors at the Chicago Dem Convention, and precipitated the Tet Offensive. Sorry, my bad.

riverside68 June 29, 2011 at 3:42 pm

Has anyone actually seen Pluto come?

GOPCrusher June 29, 2011 at 4:33 pm

I helped invade the Bay of Pigs.

flamingpdog June 29, 2011 at 9:01 pm

No but we've heard Donald Duck come.

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