but the bible says john quincy adams was a founding father

Michele Bachmann Groupies Rush To Edit Her History Errors Into Wikipedia

crazy on a stickSomewhere along the way, Internet nerd chat room Wikipedia became the keeper of Official American History, meaning that American History is now apparently just whatever Americans with Internet access and free time want it to be. Now that Michele Bachmann has mauled a few historical facts like any good Tea Party Patriot mauls the spelling on a protest sign, some of her faithful groupies have been trying to change Wikipedia pages to make the birthplace of movie actor John Wayne into a place where serial killer John Wayne Gacy once lived and to change John Quincy Adams to a “founding father.” See how easy it has become prove to everybody wrong now? We still remember the olden days when right-wing fanatics were forced to write whole strenuous textbooks about things like why dinosaurs are not real and how heaven starts right after Pluto. 

Probably her followers do not want Michele’s feelings hurt if she goes to fact-check herself on Wikipedia, but then again, see what we just wrote there? There is no point to this, other than to be laughed at. Or possibly Bachmann supporters just wanted to prove that THEY TOO can change American history in the only way they are smart enough to do, which is retroactively, just like Sarah Palin’s drone army tried to “fix” the Paul Revere page.

From RawStory:

Bachmann, who officially launched her campaign yesterday in Waterloo, Iowa, told a Fox News reporter that she was proud to be in the town where John Wayne was from, because she embodies his ideals. Unfortunately for her, it turns out that the actor John Wayne was not from Waterloo, but serial killer John Wayne Gacy was.

Shortly after the gaffe, the Wikipedia page for actor John Wayne was altered to change his birthplace from Winterset, Iowa to Waterloo, apparently as an effort to cover for the misguided politician.

Another edit came after she declared Tuesday morning that the nation’s sixth president, John Quincy Adams, was a “founding father,” even though he was just a child when his father, the nation’s second president, signed the Declaration of Independence.

This does makes us wonder if these anti-historian Wiki-vandals are actually real. It seems hard to believe that Michele Bachmann’s ancient white mouth-breather fan base can figure out the Wikipedia editing language. They are probably secret humor-minded libtards. They seem to know how to spell. [RawStory]

What Others Are Reading

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


    1. memzilla

      Nice Orwellian reference; and Ol' Crazy Eyes is a good imitation of a memory hole. Also.

  1. Barb

    "…..there is no surer sign of a country's cultural and political decay than an obtuse blindness to it's unmistakable beginnings"
    In reference to the misconceptions and suggestions of perfection in the founding fathers and American history, as seen through the eyes of Palin and Bachmann.

    Simon Schama

      1. horsedreamer_1

        Can you hear the drums, user-of-owls? That's Ken Layne bashing his head into a wall.

    1. dr_giraud

      No, Waterloo's in upstate New York, next to Seneca Falls. Which means that Susan B. Anthony's from Waterloo, too.

      See? I made a Bachmann!

    2. AJWjr.

      I've had my very own personal Waterloo ever since I upgraded from the old outhouse. Indoor plumbing is aces!

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        I been waiting for that one. The only Waterloo with a seriously good university.

  2. V572 [SSAN]

    Heaven got a bit closer when Pluto was downgraded from "planet" to "space rock" status. Pretty soon you'll be able to see Heaven from your porch, at least maybe up in Wasilla where the night sky isn't light polluted.

    1. AnarchyWolf

      Pluto is considered an ice dwarf, and there are numerous more out beyond its orbit.

    2. techmom

      Have you seen Wasilla? No stars visible where strip malls and parking lots cover the ground.

    3. Negropolis

      Pretty soon you'll be able to see Heaven from your porch…

      That was beautiful. You're a regular Emily Dickinson. Or was it Amy Dickinson? Maybe Angie Dickinson? Aww, fuck it; I give up.

  3. hagajim

    I guess if you want to go back to the Declaration/Constitution, maybe you ought to fucking know who was involved in its writing. Stupid, batshit crazy, cunt.

    1. Geminisunmars

      Hey. God told her what was in it. That's good enough for her. Why isn't it for you?

    2. Doktor Zoom

      Thing is, they don't want to go back to the Constitution…they want to go back to the Articles of Confederation.

      1. Negropolis

        Are you kidding? They want to go back to the Ten Commandments. If they were good enough for Jesus, they will be good enough for America.

          1. Negropolis

            Don't you know? Jesus personally wrote the Ten Commandments which he passed out to Moses on the Mount of Caramel Macchiato. Then-President George Washington was among the witnesses to its signing. Didn't youo read your Texas-sanctioned History-like textbook in school?

  4. Buckminster

    "But even as an embryo, John Quincy Adams could feel pain and was a Founding Father."

    I doff my cap to you, sir!

    1. ChessieNefercat

      Aw, come on guys, we're gonna give Tundratwat's followers a sad. No one has mentioned the Paul Revere debacle.

    2. zhubajie

      Usually it's defeated generals and disgraced politicians who have time to write history, usually whitewashing themselves and smearing their opponents. Ancient history is all by ancient Wonketteers! Occasionally some fictioneer has fun with "fact" too.

    1. elviouslyqueer

      You get an Internet! And you get an Internet! And you get an Internet! You're all getting Internets!

  5. Lucidamente1

    After their training period on this site, Wonkette downfister trolls graduate to "editing" Wikipedia.

  6. bumfug

    They just caught Bachmann's fans altering John Wayne Gacy's page to show that he was only hiding young boys in his crawlspace to keep them safe from the Nazis.

    1. Rarian Rakista

      Tea Partiers are what the child porn viewing, gas huffing trolls of 4chan grow up to be. They also have a habit of defacing Wikipedia when it disagrees with their warped reality.

  7. sportshort

    You smart people need to get it into your heads that dumb people have much every right dumb to be as we can be. For too much long, this things of true things are making us feel superiorless and helpful. In the way to come all history is down to earthy people happy in their bliss and blindfull of any of your thinking-stuff. Amen and over. And out.

  8. Ducksworthy

    You are. All "facts" regarding Michele Bachmann (except for the one about her raising foster children like veal, for the money and Marcus's enjoyment) are negative facts which shrink the size of your brain on hearing them.

  9. Redhead

    I could have SWORN Wonkette had this exact same headline up the last time this maniac opened her trap. But that CAN'T be right, can it?

    1. Chet Kincaid

      I know, it's hard to keep up with which dumb cunt said what and what her miscreant enthusiasts crapped online. Here's how to tell these bitches apart: In Sarahland, winter is 13 months of the year. In Chelyland, it's only 11 months.

  10. pinkocommi

    After hearing the NPR story this morning saying that Michele Bachmann is the leading religious conservative Republican candidate, I thought to myself, "Fuck! I'm actually going to have to take her candidacy seriously." And then shit like this happens and Michele is making it so, so hard.

      1. FlyOverGirl

        Hmmm. Bachmann is insanely anti-LGBT, saying things like “If you’re involved in the gay and lesbian lifestyle, it’s bondage. It is personal bondage, personal despair and personal enslavement" and she's done stuff like hide in the bushes during rallies, etc.

        So why hasn't Dan Savage created a contest to name "Bachmann"?

  11. Sue4466

    You know who else's minions change the facts to ensure their dear leader isn't embarrassed about being repeatedly wrong . . .

      1. ChessieNefercat

        Hey, are the thousands that have been waiting in line since 5:00 am for the Grifter Gals causing enormous traffic problems in the Minneapolis area yet?

  12. Beowoof

    Sure we want to work with real facts for the good the country. That's why Wikipedia is such a stellar source of clearl thoughtful factual presentations.

    Wikeipedia appears to be as factual as Fox News.

  13. MissTaken

    John Wayne vs John Wayne Gacy, and then John Adams vs John Quincy Adams.

    Either Michele has a problem with men named John or the 3 name thingy really confuses her. I'm guessing both.

    1. SexySmurf

      Just wait until she confuses John Wilkes Booth with John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.

      1. AnarchyWolf

        Yeah, peoples names sure make them evil, my 85 year old neighbor Adolf is totally a Nazi and not a daughtering old preacher.

  14. Native_of_SL_UT

    No, this was the guy creating his own reality remember? They were jumping ahead of history.

  15. SayItWithWookies

    Saying it's so for long enough makes it true — Michele's currently-straight husband is living proof.

  16. DaSandman

    The only thing necessary for the triumph of the stupid is for good people to write nothing.

  17. NorthStarSpanx

    Shit. It's becoming easier to be stupid and have a fan-base do all the heavy-lifting to make you right.

  18. BaldarTFlagass

    Well, they didn't have to edit Conservapedia, because it already said all that.

    1. Sheesko

      I just visited that site for the first time. I need a drink. A red, very liberal, feminist drink. Or two or three.

  19. Beowoof

    I don't believe Mr. Gacy is the only psycho serial killer from Waterloo, Iowa, there is another one on the whorizon.

  20. user-of-owls

    heaven starts right after Pluto.

    Wait a minute here. If both heaven and Uranus start after Pluto, does that mean…?

      1. user-of-owls

        Actually, my metaphysical question is whether heaven and ur-anus are the same thing.

        Cuz if that's true, there's a few millenia worth of theologians who are gonna have some 'splainin to do. (e.g., Martin Luther ain't gonna be nailing a tree this time around.)

    1. nonbeliever7

      Yes, it means you think like a 5th grader…at least when you're Wonketting…(Wonking?)

      1. user-of-owls

        I'd take a bit of issue with that. It could, in fact, be a pretty formidable philosophical puzzle. Both are past Pluto; heaven is infinite, ergo at least part of heaven can be located in ur-anus.

        volley return

  21. JustPixelz

    I suppose I could go to Wikipedia and edit in something I want her to repeat. Like "George Washington said America is not a Christian nation". Oh wait, he actually said that. How about Thomas Jefferson said "The appointment of a woman to office is an innovation for which the public is not prepared, nor I.". Oh wait, he actually did say that — I guess he anticipated Bachmann's candidacy. Oh hell, I'll just go with "Al Hamilton was a fabulous Founding Father."

  22. GodShammgod

    All Republicans are like this. There was this one person I went to college with who became the press secretary for David Rivera (a laughably corrupt first-term Congressman). She was caught whitewashing his Wikipedia entry, and didn't even bother to use an assumed name.

    So yes, they're all scumbags. And stupid. The only reason they get away with it is because most Americans are dumb as dirt.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      I remember this: wasn't his mother or grandmother involved in a kickback scandal?

  23. baconzgood

    I should Wikipedia Michele Bachmann as: "crazy fucking cunt who was born in Kenya and spent the first 20 years of her life with Jim Jones. Was in a loony binn. Eats kittens for lunch then shits in a cup only to force her foster children to fuck it or eat it depending on which one last had gay sex with her or her husband (Charles Manson)."

    Too bad I was already banned from Wikipedia for snarking it.

  24. ChessieNefercat

    I'm sure the interviewer was startled off-balance by her glaring idiocy. Unfortunate, because it would have been nice to see her asked if she even knew the difference between John Adams (of miniseries fame!) and John Quincy Adams. Dumbass.

    We've had to listen to these dolts yammer on about their alleged superiority in the realm of morals (do as I say, not as I do!), economics (taxes bad, taxcuts good!), parliamentary procedure (filibuster!), legislation, etc., etc. While being demonstrably, verifiably, empirically wrong on just about everything.

    But now! Now, these cretinous, clownish, yammering buffoons have dragged the national discourse down to third-grade level US history lessons? Lessons which they get wrong?! And this is what the media then ends up focusing on?!

    So should the next Republican stupidass, dumbfuck, clowncandidate debate be hosted by "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader (answer: no)"?

    Jesus. The election for the presidency of the United States. And people with the educational and maturity level of Miss Sagbottom's third grade remedial paste-eating class are allowed to participate.

    1. lumpenprole

      I picture Ralph Wiggum all grown up, completely twisted from a lifetime of Nelson beating the sweetness out of him.

    1. user-of-owls

      Um, darling? Why does your real name crop up so very often with Salmon Rushdie in searches? Did you and Sal, you know, fatwa together or something?

        1. Limeylizzie

          I have briefly replaced my avatar picture with one of me , some years ago, in a wig, very heavy make-up and fake tits!

      1. Limeylizzie

        He was married to a woman with the same name, there is also a country singer and I have had friends of mine congratulate me on an album that she released.

  25. edgydrifter

    Wow! Ayn Rand was a born-again Christian and scientists have proven Jesus really did ride dinosaurs. Thanks, interwebs!

  26. JoshuaNorton

    Doncha just lurve it when "She didn't sound as crazy as usual" is how the winner of a GOP presidential primary debate is chosen?

    1. ChessieNefercat

      Look! She didn't drool or piddle or wear hooker boots! She is a "serious" candidate!

  27. Doktor Zoom

    Michele Bachmann: duckspeak plusgood, bellyfeel doubleplusgood, but oldthink doubleplusungood.

    Rec. Unperson ASAP, Memory Hole.

    1. Negropolis

      I'll have to translate that, later, but kudos for the 1984 reference. Doubleplusgood kudos, in fact.

  28. AnarchyWolf

    Does anybody realize how absolutely insane this is? I mean these people are trying REWRITE history to match what politicians say. This is INSANE! If this is what the United States of America has been reduced to then may some Holy Spaghetti Creature please guide us with Its Invisible Noodley appendage.

  29. freakishlywrong

    Also, idiot, are you aware of John Wayne's "ideals"? Wiki that, teatards, and then announce that you embrace them. That woman is an idiot.

  30. Goonemeritus

    My last corporation made us submit our 5 year career goals every year. I always went with becoming a Calvin Klein underwear model.

    1. AJWjr.

      I always wrote that I intended to replace my own boss by next year, which somehow never happened. It's like he knew something, somehow.

  31. ChessieNefercat

    I'm so gullible. I actually rushed over there and looked. But sadly, there is no accomplishments section on her Wikipedia page.

  32. Slim_Pickins

    She and her sycophants have learned "the BIG LIE" technique from their Soviet masters, well.

  33. Doktor Zoom

    In her announcement speech, Bachmann said "everything I needed to know, I learned in Iowa."

    Finally–public schools in Mississippi have a system to feel superior to.

    1. Radiotherapy®

      Hey, that's the same thing a certain teenage boy loving psychopathic clown said.

    2. AJWjr.

      And she moved to Minnesota when she was 12, which tells me everything I need to know about her.

  34. SorosBot

    Well at least with the Wikipedia editors we know the answer to the "Stupid or lying?" question for once.

    The thing is, it's easy for the wingnuts – since their supporters mostly don't work anymore, they've got all day to spend wasting time on the internet while collecting their Social Security and whining that the government should stay out of their lives. The wiki-editors are one example; our troll is another.

  35. DaRooster

    "They are probably secret humor-minded libtards. They seem seam to two know no how to spell."

  36. Doktor Zoom

    Bachmann explained that "John Quincy Adams most certainly was a part of the Revolutionary War era," so he counts as a Founding Father.

    As I said yesterday, by this standard, I am a Vietnam vet.

    Who participated in the moon landings.

    Sadly, I was brought low by Watergate.

    1. jus_wonderin

      I was co-creator of the Emmy Award winning "The Bob Newhart Show" and, sadly, a writer for "Welcome Back, Kotter".

      We all have our successes and….well, you know.

      I have this new idea. Shhhh. Don't spread it around. People compete to eat bugs and win 50K.

    2. mavenmaven

      I stuck around st. petersburg
      When I saw it was a time for a change
      Killed the czar and his ministers
      Anastasia screamed in vain
      I rode a tank
      Held a generals rank
      When the blitzkrieg raged
      And the bodies stank
      Pleased to meet you
      Hope you guess my name

  37. mumbly_joe

    For some reason, they didn't mention the bigger gaffe, where John Wayne was a white supremacist World-War II draft-dodger.

    Wait, I suppose with the people supporting Michelle Bachman, that's not actually much of a gaffe, really.

    1. SorosBot

      Those are a plus, as is the support of Joe McCarthy (who many wingnuts still support), pro-Vietnam War propaganda and membership in the John Birch society.

      For whatever reason, people now tend to remember Wayne fondly for his acting and forget that he was horrible, horrible human being.

    2. CapeClod

      No, it isn't. Because in their minds, John Wayne also singlehandedly won World War II.

      I love how Jimmy Stewart's war record makes John Wayne look like a cringing pussy.

    3. GOPCrusher

      The same with Ronald Reagan. But he single-handily won the Cold War by making all those anti-Communist propaganda movies in the early 50's.

    4. Noman

      "with the people supporting Michelle Bachman"

      s/b Michele Bachmann

      one l
      two n

      so many libunatics to educate, so little time.

          1. mumbly_joe

            Uhhh, what? Misspelling Shelly McCrazy's name, and openly admitting it's because I'm lazy and in a hurry and pretty indifferent to things like spelling as long as one's meaning gets communicated effectively is now an example of "extreme double-standards"? I also drop the "c" from Obama's first name regularly, because of its similarity to a colleague's last name; what does that make me? Double-Hitler?

            Seriously. "double-standard" implies I've ever expressed a view to the contrary of, "as long as your meaning is clear, who gives a fuck". It also implies that whether or not one is or isn't a spelling prescriptivist is some how relevant to anything at all in life, ever; I mean, come on, Spanky, I know you've always been light on material, but I'd hope you could do a bit better than "Your indiferrence to spelling proves that libruls are morally weak".

  38. freakishlywrong

    OMG. I just did. There were pictures of a drunk girl, on a toilet, drinking a beer and HOLDING A BABY..(not me). And then, OMG, Fat Jesus! Pics of Chris Christie! Sob!

      1. freakishlywrong

        Limey, I only see the old ugly Republican lady when I click on/mouse over your avatar? (I"m still shaking)…

        1. Limeylizzie

          It was there, but briefly, I took it down, I may put it back at a later date, I am completely unrecognizable in it, looking more like a drag queen .

  39. johnnymeatworth

    This just in, she's also announced that she will nominate David Berkowitz Postmaster General if she becomes President.

  40. genxr

    John Quincy Adams was 8 years old? Teatards would have an easier time if the Constitution were written at that reading level.

  41. glamourdammerung

    Is this behavior any different than trolls rushing websites to do the same thing?

  42. Ducksworthy

    When Michele convinces me that 2+2 really does always equal 5, please somebody get me a case of Victory Gin.

    1. flamingpdog

      I issued a warning of a "military industrial complex" developing in America.

      Pfft, nobody pays any attention to me these days, either.

  43. BaldarTFlagass

    It's a tube station in London. Ray Davies and the Kinks did an awesome song about it couple years back (1968, methinks).

  44. Radiotherapy®

    This is all just practice for the real upcoming campaign of the quitter grifter.

  45. freakishlywrong

    I want her asked daily, "from whom do you want to take your country back"? Daily.

  46. jus_wonderin

    I do like that one. But when she sings "A Spoonful of Sugar" I just go all soft inside.

  47. SorosBot

    History became legend. Legend became myth. And for two and a half thousand years, the ring passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, the ring ensnared another bearer. The ring came to the creature Bachmann, who took it deep into the tunnels under Minnesota, and there it consumed her.

  48. BaldarTFlagass

    Yeah, but start a new one after 200 comments or so; more than that and my computer starts to act like it was built in 1910 instead of 2010.

  49. hooray4anything

    Thus the NRA's belief that it would be unConstitutional if gun dealers were to check to see if the person buying the gun ever killed, kidnapped, or ate children

  50. lochnessmonster

    I at least hold a little hope out for her followers if they know what Wikipedia is AND they know how to alter the postings! There is a glimmer of intelligence if they can do that!

    1. ChessieNefercat

      Yes, but I think they personify the concept that "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing."

  51. finallyhappy

    I thnk they react to libraries the way vampires do to sunlight(real vampires- not the Twilight trash)

  52. flamingpdog

    I had these heavy, but thin steel weights from the bottom of some old drapes that I would put in the prepaid return envelopes, hoping it would cost them a couple of dollars rather than the 44 cents or whatever.

  53. Negropolis

    I'd like to suggest an alternative to the alt text "crazy on a stick". How about "sex in a straightjacket?"

    BTW, what's up with Dave Letterman constantly calling her "O'Bachmann"? At first I thought it was a joke, but now I'm convinced that he's having an eternal senior moment.

  54. Biel_ze_Bubba

    Hell, the woman is at war with reality. That never goes well, in the long run; we can only hope that the "long run" is considerably less than our lifetimes.

  55. lumpenprole

    I think the rigors of newspeak would be too much for this crowd. The thought police would have nervous breakdowns everytime Bachmann opened her mouth. Winston Smith would go postal.

  56. horsedreamer_1

    Ah, the California Compromise:

    (one.) Admit Cali. to the Union as a Free State.

    (two.) Ban slave auctions in District of Columbia.

    (three.) Allow slave-wranglers to cross into Free States to capture fugitives.

    (four.) Organize New Mexico & Utah Territories as neither slave nor free ("popular sovereignty"), with the residents deciding at time of statehood if they would not permit slavery.

    Good times.

  57. BaldarTFlagass

    Fuck, that means I shot RFK and MLK, and beat the protestors at the Chicago Dem Convention, and precipitated the Tet Offensive. Sorry, my bad.

Comments are closed.