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NO MORE MODERATION!A shrieking horde of Tea Partiers (they do not come in any other format) stormed the National Republican Senatorial Committee offices demanding that it stop supporting GOP senators, which is its job. HOH NOH, we do not want your terrible “moderate Republicans,” they cried, especially this disgusting old Orrin Hatch person. (Haha, Hatch is a “moderate” in Utah because he still believes that you should just test welfare recipients for drugs instead of murdering them and has never tried to switch Utah to the gold standard.) Tea Party Patriots are not on board with your elitist, effeminate “polite phone calls and e-mails,” so they will just be storming into any office with weak doors to make demands from now on.

From the Daily Caller:

They weren’t wearing face paint, but they said they felt like they were in Braveheart.

More than 50 Tea Partiers, many from Utah, stormed the offices of the National Republican Senatorial Committee here in Washington on Monday to protest the organization’s support of Republican incumbent Sen. Orrin Hatch.

No Republican has yet announced a primary challenge to Hatch, but FreedomWorks, a national Tea Party-aligned organization, has launched a retire-Hatch campaign in hopes of lining up behind someone they say represents the movement better.

Yeah whatever, this is how the Founding Fathers did their democracy, every day. Look it up. [Daily Caller]

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  • nounverb911

    Don't teabag on me!

  • nounverb911

    When are the republicans going to get some balls and toss the teabaggers out of the party.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      But the Republican Party and Tea Bagging are synonymous. Just ask David Vitter or Larry Craig.

    • PsycWench

      When they realize that relatively few teabagger candidates are appealing enough to win office and those that win office often shoot themselves in the foot. Or, more likely, never.

      • samsuncle

        "As ye sow so shall ye reap'. One bible phrase that the RNC failed to consider.

    • bagofmice

      Between the teabagging and Koch suckling, all I can say is:

      Do you see what happens, Orrin? DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS? [proceeds to smash up what he wrongly believes is Orrin's new Corvette] THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, ORRIN! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS!

      • BaldarTFlagass

        "Is this your Senate voting record, Orrin? Have you heard of Vietnam?"

      • FidoMcCokefiend

        And for the more religious of you out there…

        Do you see what happens, Orrin? DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FIND A STRANGER IN THE ALPS? [proceeds to smash up what he wrongly believes is Orrin's new Corvette] THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, ORRIN! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FIND A STRANGER IN THE ALPS!

        • Doktor Zoom

          Arguably the only time in the history of film that an already funny scene has been improved by censorship.

        • Negropolis

          WIN

      • Negropolis

        ROTFLMAO!

        I'm suing your for damages to my lungs and diaphram for that one, buddy.

    • ThundercatHo

      They have balls, they're just in their teabagger's mouths.

    • WilliamHTaft

      When they crash the country again and have to come up with another new snappy name for that same base of loosely affiliated cretins, religious zealots, racists, and conspiracy nuts who always vote Republican every election no matter what.

    • PristineODummy

      Never. The teabaggers are the reliable "base," (and boy, are they base) who will turn out to vote in every election and always pull the lever (or punch the Chad, or poop the rug, or whatever) for the R candidate.

  • DaSandman

    Ah yes, these rabid droolers couldn't be happening to a nicer political party.

    Go ahead you brave ball suckers, bring the pain. Those Rethugs deserve it now, don't they :)

  • I bet now he regrets not calling Sotomayor a racist.

  • Zombie_Reagan

    More than 50 Tea Partiers, many from Utah, [scootered into] the offices of the National Republican Senatorial Committee here in Washington . . . .

    Fixed.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Serpent's egg already (ahem) hatched.

    • bagofmice

      I see no need to bring Quetzalcoatl into this.

      • HistoriCat

        Don't blame me – I voted for Cthulhu.

    • SystemError

      *cues David Caruso's sunglasses*

      YEEEAAAHHH!!!!

  • Did any teabagger get shot in the ass with an arrow?

    • Asses and shafts with feathers, now that's a liberal image fer shore!

        • poncho_pilot

          i'll take T. Rex and people getting shot in the ass with arrows over Ted Nugent talking about shooting the president any day.

    • PristineODummy

      Why, is there a contest? Prizes?

  • tihond

    On their way home from D.C. they also stormed a gift shoppe demanding it carry Sarah Palin's books and Charleston Chews. Then they stormed the bathrooms because the Mucinex had finally done its dirty work. FOR FREEDOM!

  • Poopyheads

  • Goonemeritus

    To be fair Orrin almost never shows his face at the cross burnings anymore.

    • PristineODummy

      What about the other end, then?

  • BerkeleyBear

    Oh, and they are trying to primary Dick Lugar, too – apparently, being a cordial guy who votes the GOP line 98 percent of the time, and when he doesn't it's because it benefits his constituents or world peace isn't good enough. They want a troglydite like Mike Pence, who is running for Governor on the theory that Jeebus will save us if we just stop women from doing anything with their bodies by choice and gut all social services.

    • zhubajie

      Lugar, the only sort-of sensible republican, and from Indiana, usually a far-redder-necked place than he is! When I lived in Kentuckiana, I was represented by someone who claimed the 2d amendment means private people can own nuclear weapons!

    • tessiee

      How could they possibly not like Dick Lugar? His name is a penis AND a gun! The only way that could be better is if his name was Dick Baconburgers Lugar.

      • Peter Derringer.
        Willie Smith-Wesson.
        Winchester Johnson.
        Bushmaster P. Weiner.
        Frank Furter Remington.
        Baretta Koch.

  • I would imagine a large group of rascals and hover rounds rolling into Hatch’s office all loaded up with loud and somewhat flatulent retarded heavy weights might be kind of frightening.

    • chilequiles

      Moar states writes!@ Moar federal amendmints overrighting states writes! Wut?

  • OneYieldRegular

    Heckuva job, Armey.

  • Senator: Fight? Against that? No! We will compromise. And we will live.
    Teabagger Wallace: Aye, fight and you'll probably ruin the global economize. Compromise, and you'll have your seat… at least a while. And sitting in your Senator place, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies the libruls, homos, nearers, brown peoples, Muslins, atheists, womenz, Jews, people with brains, people with educations, people with high school diplomas/GEDs, people that read, people who hate tricorner hats and sane people that they may take our Rascals, but they'll never take… OUR FREEDUMZ!

    • tessiee

      And they will blow me first.
      /Mel Gibson version/

    • PristineODummy

      I thought the Teatards spelled it "Freedumbz."

  • Jason_inthe_Peg

    A shriek of Tea Partiers. Kind of like a gaggle of geese or a murder of crows.

    How do you make them scatter?

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Have a black person show up?

      • Jason_inthe_Peg

        This is why I follow you. /swoon/

    • BerkeleyBear

      Toss a bunch of curly fries and fun size candy bars around, then make a run for it.

      • PristineODummy

        Hah! You can't run fast enough to get away!

    • Callyson

      Ger a young rent boy to point to them and yell "Hey_ your check for last night's buttseks bounced!"

    • Barrelhse

      I've found that napalm is an efficacious emulsifier for any teabaggers I've encountered in my area, see if it works for you.

    • Steverino247

      Ask: "Who gets the check?"

    • riverside68

      kiss the nearest same gender person

    • Negropolis

      Hire some breathless young lad or lass to run toward the crowd screaming "The taxman is coming! The taxman is coming!"

    • PristineODummy

      Buckshot in their britches?

      • Negropolis

        Breeches, my friend. It's spelled "breeches".

  • elviouslyqueer

    No Republican has yet announced a primary challenge to Hatch, but FreedomWorks, a national Tea Party-aligned organization, has launched a retire-Hatch campaign in hopes of lining up behind someone they say represents the movement better.

    And what movement would that be, exactly? The bowel movement?

    • zhubajie

      Are there no unemployed members of the Palin dynasty?

    • tessiee

      "And what movement would that be, exactly? The bowel movement? "

      Given that their diet consists of 3000 calories of pure lard per day and one gram of fiber per year, I'm thinking not.

  • Carrabuda

    There's no justice like good old-fashioned mob justice.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      A riot is an ungly thing… undt, I tink, that it is chust about time ve had vun.

  • Oh I feel so sorry for poor Orrin Hatch.

    CRUCIFY HIM! CRUCIFY HIM!
    ~

    • Terry

      If they knock Orrin Hatch out in the primary and get an absolutely insane tea bagger running as the GOP candidate, they could lose the seat. This sort of loss should be called an "O'Donnell" or perhaps a "Christine".

      • We can always hope, but he is from Utah.

        At least if they replace Hatch with another right-winger, the seniority will be lost. And that counts for a lot in the "rich old men and their employees club" that is the Senate.
        ~

        • True, and I hope they keep doing it. Then, the republicans will regret exploiting these sputtering, incoherent idiots.

        • Negropolis

          There was an amazing poll showing Utah's only elected Democrat pretty much running a dead heat in a Senate race, there. Basically, I hear, he's absolutely the only Dem that could compete, there.

      • PristineODummy

        I cannot upfist this enough.

  • DaSandman

    For Dick Armey you would need 2 horses or a John Deere tractor.

  • OkieDokieDog

    This is what happens when the GOP has sexy time with Right Wing Nut Jobs without using any birf controls – ignorant selfish lil bastards get borned.

    haha! Ugly fat stooid teabaggie babies.

  • tihond

    Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you'll live… at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take… OUR HOVEROUNDS!

  • PsycWench

    It's not like Orrin Hatch was elected by his constituents or anything.
    Oh, only tea baggers are supposed to vote. I see.

    • Barrelhse

      Bingo. Could "those people" possibly be more ridiculous?

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    They weren't wearing face paint, but they said they felt like they were in Braveheart.

    Meaning they felt like drunk, misogynistic anti-Semites who believe in a weird, overly conservative religious sect?

    • To be fair, the Teabagger males do have sugar tits.

    • Sue4466

      Exactly. But with more racism and stupid.

    • emmelemm

      But were the men wearing skirts, like in Braveheart?

      • poncho_pilot

        you wish! maybe some magic underwear, though.

  • JoshuaNorton

    Uber tea-bagger Michele Bachmann says "God told me to run for president". This can mean only one thing. God loves Barack Obama.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Well, according to Palin, God was supposed to decide the 08 elections. So yep, it would seem Barry is in good with the big guy.

    • Callyson

      Michalle Bachmann is proof that God loves Democrats and wants us to be happy.

    • zhubajie

      I think it's well-established that God is a practical joker!

  • OkieDokieDog

    OT. Who the hell is that Johanna over there wanting to be my "friend" ? No!

    • No relation to the Meet Russian Girls ad that was there yesterday, I'm sure.

    • I don't get her. All I ever seem to get is that stupid mac malware, or whatever I last searched for. Heyy…

  • Terry

    "More than 50 Tea Partiers, many from Utah, stormed the offices of the National Republican Senatorial Committee here in Washington on Monday to protest the organization’s support of Republican incumbent Sen. Orrin Hatch."

    Translation: 20 or so teabaggers, none of whom were from Utah, were sent to the NRSC offices by FreedomWorks and the Koch brothers. They weren't sure quite why.

    • Weenus299

      Perhaps the rumor that time was running out on the 9/11 coin sale.

  • Jason_inthe_Peg

    See above. I'm nominating a Shriek of Tea Baggers.

  • chilequiles

    " It is almost like they are entitled losers who've never really had to work hard to achieve their goals so they don't know how."

    Who we talking about again? Orange county teens? Libertarians? Bristol Palin?

    • riverside68

      All of them Katie

  • BaldarTFlagass

    This should go down in Teabagger Lore as their equivalent of the Storming of the Bastille. Instead of La Marseillaise, though, the anthem will be some Toby Keith song.

  • prommie

    An "asylum" would be most appropriate, I think.

  • Terry

    Proof that while the English are genteel enough on the surface, you really shouldn't piss them off.

    • tessiee

      I get the feeling that they're a lot like their descendants in the South — beneath the repression, there's a very nasty streak of sadism.

  • Tea Party Patriots

    I do not support use of this branding/propaganda.

    "Racist Troglodyte Teabaggers Who Make This Country Worse"

    Truth in labeling!
    ~

  • fartknocker

    Maybe Orrin should write a song about the Teabaggers to go with his collection of songs about the eight days of Hanukkah:
    http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/09/us/politics/09h

    Music could be a secret weapon against the Teatarded.

    • flamingpdog

      "Let the illeagal sooooar!"

  • PsycWench

    "They weren’t wearing face paint, but they said they felt like they were in Braveheart."
    If Braveheart involved fighters that were at least 40 pounds overweight, carrying misspelled signs and rode Hoverrounds, that is.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Just as long as they don't do that "group moon" thing. Gah!

    • Only 40?

  • Redhead

    Well, 50 electric scooters pack quite a punch when it comes to pushing in office doors. Especially when each scooter is carrying at least 350 pounds on it.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Dear God, just imagine what the Republican National Convention will be like if they do nominate Socialized Health Care Prototype, Cap and Trade Sympathizing, Gay Loving, Heretic Religious Believer Mitt Romney? I can already see the streets being lined with giant flaming "T" to symbolize the new tolerance of the Republican Party.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Depending on who got the VP nod, you might find Mittens' corpse the next day in the parking lot of a Golden Corral, his body horribly mutilated and covered in smaller than usual tire tracks.

      • emmelemm

        "smaller than usual tire tracks"

        Pure genius. A thousand fists for thee.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          What size tire tracks does Mitt usually sport?

          • flamingpdog

            They match the car roof rack tracks on his dog.

    • It'll be Chicago 1968 all over again, only slower. And the cops' truncheons, instead of shattering hippie bones, will become stuck when they sink into the soft folds of Teabagger flesh, like Arnold punching a T-1000.

  • Reap what you sow, Repubs!
    Reap. What. You. Sow.

    • PsycWench

      You dance with the one you brought to the party.

      • riverside68

        I thought you could dance with anyone you wanted to, but you had to go home with the one who bought you. (Koch?)

    • Barrelhse

      They are having a bit of fun with the reaping, now that they've driven off the migrant workers!

  • glamourdammerung

    Who could have guessed that basing your party platform off of winding up the crazies could have ever "gone South"?

  • yeah, toss out the hippie hatch! idi amin for us senate!

  • DaRooster

    50? So my guess last week of 67 or so was a bit too many… How long until the diabetes finishes them off?
    Go away Son, ya bother me.

  • SorosBot

    "Horde" is the proper collective for orcs, goblins and trolls, so it's totally appropriate.

  • El Pinche

    Cocoon 2 : Corn Syrup Warriors

    • Radiotherapy®

      There is only one thing worse than teabagging…that's old people teabagging.

  • johnnymeatworth

    Has Orrin written a song about this yet?

    • 4tehlulz_lite

      I think "Eve of Destruction" has already been done.

      • johnnymeatworth

        As has "Dumb All Over…."

  • Slim_Pickins

    Demobracy in action.

    • Carrabuda

      Dumbocracy.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Odious Carbuncle Not Odious, Carbuncly Enough.

  • cuzcorrelation

    But was there a squirmish after they stormed the doors?

  • Tommmcattt

    they do not come in any other format…

    I disagree. The Tea Party brand comes in many distinct models. To name just a few:

    Petulant and Whiny Suburban Housewives
    Drunk, Arrogant Racists
    Sarcastic and Pretentious Objecvtivists
    Monosylabic Idiots Bearing Signs
    Posturing, Bought and Paid-For Wall-Street Types,
    Glinty-eyed Psychotics in Power Skirts and Suitjackets

    …etc., etc.

    • poncho_pilot

      what about the "i'm really not a republican, i swear. honest!" libertarians?

    • Rosie_Scenario

      Monosylabic Idiots Bearing Misspelled Signs. *Fixed*

  • SorosBot

    The teabaggers' version of history is about as accurate as that of Braveheart, and Gibson is just as racist, misogynist, antisemitic, violent and drunk as most of them, so the comparison fits.

    • genxr

      Does that mean we should start referring to Ron Paul as "sugar-tits?"

      • Negropolis

        No. Sarah is sugar-tits. Ron is sour-tits. And our new BFF (sorry Sarah) Michele is crazy-tits.

  • baconzgood

    Jesus. When will these people stop being so self-important? Seriously, don't they have jobs?

    • emmelemm

      No, they're on the SSI and the unemployment. But stop government entitlements! YEAH!!

      • baconzgood

        What happened to the Pees? No not a loss of peeness.

        • emmelemm

          P's went to the shop for retooling, but they usually come back good as new.

    • glamourdammerung

      Seriously, don't they have jobs?

      No.

  • Sue4466

    I missed the movie, did the folks in Braveheart ride scooters too?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Yeah, but they hit coconut halves together so they could pretend they were on horses.

  • Utah is arguably the most mysterious state.

    • prommie

      I read a book about financial crime once which claimed that Salt Lake City had a higher rate of white collar crime than anywhere in America, in part because the Mormonists have no qualms about stealing from gentiles. I mean seriously, to them, its not a sin to lie, cheat, and steal, when the victim is not mormon. Lotsa mortgage brokers are Mormon. As bland and friendly as they seem, Mormons look at us as subhumans.

      • zhubajie

        They are also deep into the idea that wealth is a sign of God's favor and that poverty is a punishment for something or other.

    • emmelemm

      That's one word for it.

  • NYNYNYjr

    "Weak doors"…and ramps.

    • PubOption

      The ramps are only present as a result of the evil, socialist ADA.

  • FNMA

    "A scrotum of teabaggers"?

  • PsycWench

    Oh no, this cannot be true, the founding fathers didn't found any universities, like for instance that elistist UVa.

    • prommie

      Ever hear of the Jefferson Bible?

    • BerkeleyBear

      Or get degrees from elitist universities like Harvard. Or have anti-American jobs like "community organizer" or "defense attorney". Because the Sons of Liberty and committees of correspondence were spontaneously formed organisms, and John Adams never defended anyone over the Boston Massacre.

      • Rosie_Scenario

        Plus they were fighting against slavery all the time. When they weren't ringin' those bells and firin' those guns and all.

  • Lucidamente1

    Braveheart, Shmaveheart. More like:

    "Bob Bennett, he's a dead man! Orrin Hatch, dead! Dick Lugar…"

    "Dead! Bluto's right. Psychotic… but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons, but that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part!"

    "We're just the guys to do it."

    • tessiee

      Nice. Very nice indeed.

  • metamarcisf

    "Braveheart"?! More like "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"

  • baconzgood

    "I am a Douche bag. And I see a whole army of douch bags, here in defiance of …well we're not sure! You have come to do nothing as Koch drones. And Koch dornes you are! What will you do without anus burgers? Will you scooter?
    … Bacon on your anus burger and you may die. scooter and you will live at least awhile. And dying in your not hospital bed in a few days, would you be willing to trade all the hours from now to then for one chance, just one cahnce, to come back here as geriatric men and tell our enemies, even though we made them up in or minds, that we will take health care from the poor and we will shit on YOUR FREEDOMS!!!!!!”

    -Tea-bag Wallace-

  • KotBR

    Somewhere in hell, Barry Goldwater pulls a wool hood over his head and snarls 'Good, good, my pretties. Do my bidding'.

    • unclejeems

      Nah, as much as I agree with the sentiment, old Barry (not our new "Barry") was pretty much a stand-up guy when it came to this kind of stuff. He lived in the real world, not Cloud Cuckoo Land, where these birds come from. He actually knew what entitlements were. He just didn't like any of therm.

      And how could you entirely hate a guy who said that Jerry Falwell should be kicked in the ass.

    • gvvt

      Barry was a RINO in name only. He'd be on their little list…

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        A RINO in name only???
        That's making my head hurt.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      Yeah, Barry would have been run out of town on a rail today.

    • tessiee

      Barry Goldwater is a daisy-wearing hippie compared to these assholes.

  • DaRooster

    Streaking Piles of Tea Partiers.

  • Andrew Drinker

    And somewhere Matt Kibbe is laughing while twirling his sideburns!

  • WhatTheHeck

    The new model Hoverounds com with built-in holders for pitch-forks.

    • Barrelhse

      or Agnostics and Rakes

  • Tommmcattt

    Angry, Demented Olds Dressed as Revolutionary War Cosplay Fanatics….

  • BarackMyWorld

    Cry havoc, and let slip the scooters of war.

  • BerkeleyBear

    And when you finish a bm you feel lighter and more energetic, whereas interactions with the TP make me feel sad and tired.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Most people routinely finish up a BM with TP.

      • BerkeleyBear

        In the US, at least. Not so much in Asia/Africa.

  • poncho_pilot

    or ludicrous speed? or have they already gone to plaid flab?

    • flamingpdog

      Initiate Warped Drive!

  • Dear Conservtards, Rethuglicans, and ignominiam (downfisters) do you find that with all of your heavy teabagging that you succumb to the heartbreak of scrotum breath, SB? If so, the Wonkette is pleased to announce a new advertiser – VentSpleen’s new Purge™.

    A minty-fresh oral douche that rinses away SB, Purge™ will leave your friends smiling after you’ve been balls-to-the-walls teabagging all day. Don’t let scrotal odor cause doors to slam in your face. Try VentSpleen’s new Purge™ today.

    • poncho_pilot

      you know who else liked to routinely purge?

      • GunToting[Redacted]

        Karen Carpenter?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Joe Stalin.

    • tessiee

      Joe: Hey Biff, why so down?
      Biff: Oh, I just can't get anywhere at my job.
      Joe: Could it be you have (lowers voice) scrotum breath?
      Biff: Scrotum breath?
      Joe: You know, that odor on your breath that comes from teabagging all day.
      Biff: Gosh, I never thought of that.
      Joe: I had it, but then I tried VentSpleen's new Purge [tm].
      [Biff looks at label curiously]
      Joe: It's minty fresh.
      Biff: By golly, I'll give it a try.
      [one week later]
      [upbeat music]
      Feeling better, Biff?
      Biff: You bet! And I got that promotion! Thanks to Purge [tm]!

      Biff:

  • jus_wonderin

    "Would you like to hear the specials of the day?"

  • poncho_pilot

    anus reassignment surgery.

  • SorosBot

    Teabaggers, remember how you handed the Senate seats in Nevada and Delaware to the Democratic Party in 2010, and thus control of the Senate? Please do so again.

  • Weenus299

    Reads like a Paula Deen episode. What's really in that kitchen?

  • mormos

    sounds reasonable…

  • anniegetyerfun

    Oh, great. Now I have an image of obese, scooter-riding Teatards wearing kilts and not much else. Thanks for that.

    • jus_wonderin

      Sweat. Don't forget the sweat.

  • sportshort

    Stormin' the offices! Makin' waves! I love these demented fucks. Beats hell out of sitting 'round waiting for an email or a phone call to make an ass out of itself.

  • 4tehlulz_lite

    I don't see the problem with this; democracy is healthiest when intimidated by shrieking mobs of lard.

  • Barrelhse

    I hate when that happens.

  • Barrelhse

    A condomful of Teabaggers?
    A swallow?

  • fuflans

    "Insurrection is an art, and like all arts has its own laws"

    – Leon Trotsky

  • Steverino247

    I thought that coming in steaming piles of shit results in Santorum.

    • flamingpdog

      For the WIN!

  • fuflans

    needz moar cheetoz

  • riverside68

    As long as there were no tits, it's okay for kids to watch.

  • guangho

    When they are no longer sufficiently pliable. The day of reckoning shall be delayed to the last possible second.

    guangho who wonders whether Kaiser Wilheim has been reincarnated lately.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I got teabagged once, and I became much less pliable.

      • Negropolis

        Alcohol will help with pliability.

  • El Pinche

    Wilford Wallace: "DIIIIAAAAAAABBBEEEEETUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSS!!! "

  • Rosie_Scenario

    And Jacob Javits. And John Lindsay before he switched to Democratic party late in the game.

  • Rosie_Scenario

    Day by day. Time is not on their side, nor is history.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Much less Braveheart, much more The Holy Grail. However, it is doubtful whether these ijits could follow the syllogistic logic involved in witchcraft accusations ("What weighs the same as a duck?").

    • unclejeems

      Right, "syllogistic" has a couple more "syllables" than teabaggers can follow. After one or two "syllables", words start to bore them. Doesn't stop them from trying to spell long words incorrectly on their protest signs, though.

    • zhubajie

      Dickheads like this were the first wave of the First Crusade — till they were slaughtered by Turkish nomads!

  • DemonicRage

    The Tea Bag Republicans are so in touch with what is going on right now. I can't wait to see how they react to the fact that maybe only 14% of the general electorate finds what they are selling appealing. Go ahead Republicans, waste the total National Electoral Cycle! Go for it!

  • Guppy06

    Mormon, Muslim, what's the difference?

    Paying attention, Mittens?

    • unclejeems

      Shucks, where does that leave us followers of the mighty fire god, Ahura Mazda?

    • zhubajie

      Muslims have art, poetry, mysticism….

  • flamingpdog

    a "tard" of teabaggers?

  • flamingpdog

    "Moderate" as in "Attica" and "Rockefeller drug laws".

    • chascates

      Well, 'moderate' Republican, as far as that goes. No visible fangs but the regular fascist mentality.

  • Rotundo_

    A pile of teabaggers. A mound of teabaggers?

    • emmelemm

      A mess of teabaggers?

  • gvvt

    I believe the term you are looking for is "a Transsphincteric fistula of Teabaggers"

    • flamingpdog

      Or mebbe "a pilonidal cyst" of Teabaggers

  • Rotundo_

    In short, they would be almost as cherished by the Founding Fathers as they are by the people moneying them up and winding their little springs. Just like Hitler with the SA, the Koch's and others like them will throw them under the wheels when they aren't useful dupes.

  • chilequiles

    As a gay liberal ex-mormon, he is a deep embarassment to 2/3 of me. The other part is too busy laughing and rummaging through the freezer for more stoli.

    Seriously tho, check out the amount of mormons in good seats of power vs mormon percentage in US as a whole. They have their garmented hands all over the reins of power. Hide yo children, Hide yo sister-wives…

    • zhubajie

      So will the Church of the USA be the Salt Lake City Mormons?

  • DonnyKerabotsos

    a gaggle or perhaps a 'baggle?'

  • C_R_Eature

    VOICEOVER:

    "Watch this earnest gang of Teabaggers exercise their Constitutional Freedoms by assaulting a powerful Senator's office. What they don't realize is that their coddled, fully funded 'We're taking over the Party' reality has been secretly replaced with one where their Movement has achieved its only goal and become obsolete, embarrassing and irritating to the Republican Power Elite."

    "Let's watch the fun…"

    (CUE MUSIC – "Yakity Sax")

  • DahBoner

    Orrin Hatch and his wife only have 6 children.

    Or as they say in Utah…."FLAMING GAY".

    • Negropolis

      His wife? Where are the others?

  • snoopyfan2010

    They're only following the LAW (lazy american way).

  • zhubajie

    The rest him burned and the ashes scattered, I'm told. You won't find his foreskin next to Jesus' in anyone's relic collection!

  • zhubajie

    The Golden Horde was a relatively classy outfit compared with these creatures.

  • zhubajie

    I've heard rumors that there were once liberal republicans!

    • PristineODummy

      Fred Karger calls hisself a "progressive" Republican. Does that count?

      • zhubajie

        What's he progressing towards? I'd be suspicious.

  • zhubajie

    The Founders had a low opinion of "enthusiasm" too, i.e., of born-again xtn fanatics (who damned them to Hell in print, in reprisal!)

  • SaintRond

    The correct plural for Tea Baggers is "shitload."

  • bloodandirony

    Yeah, Bennett got the full Braveheart treatment. Utah is particularly vulnerable to this sort of primary challange because they pick their nominees using a convention, where only a few thousand people show up. So it only takes a small but highly motivated band of face-painted tea party activists to turn out an incumbent who has served for decades. The voters never even get a say.

    • PristineODummy

      After the way Orrin Hatch treated Anita Hill, I can't honestly say I'll be shedding any tears on his behalf.

  • Later, several teabaggers were rushed to the hospital to receive oxygen, having collapsed after attempting to climb that one flight of stairs.

    • PristineODummy

      Oh, like they'd even try. They know you can't get a Hoveround up stairs. And what does that mean, "climb"? Are you likening teabaggers to … to … MONKEYS???!!?

  • LetUsBray

    Hey, now I know what Glenn Bleck will compare his next encounter with a less-than-adoring public to.

  • zappadoo76

    Attack Orrin Hatch from the right?

    This is another reason why I think Teabaggers are fascists.

  • KhalMojo

    So wait, they couldn't even bother getting 50 people from UTAH? They had to import protesters? How lame.

  • Negropolis

    Can you imagine if that had been 50 hippies? They'd have been beaten within an inch of their lives and then carted off to the city gaol.

    Isn't this how the SS/SA started? Yeah, I totally went there.

  • Negropolis

    Americans With Disabilities Act LIBEL! That's not ADA transcedence!

  • Negropolis

    Surely, this is No Country for Old White Mormon Men.

  • Negropolis

    I can see Lincoln rising form his tomb in Springfield, right now, exclaiming: "What fresh hell is this?"

  • Things didn't go great for the Scots after that either. More or less 700 of colonization and represion by the crown, with occasional uprisings which were all violently suppressed. Go Freedom!

    • tessiee

      "with occasional uprisings which were all violently suppressed. Go Freedom!"

      Impossible.
      When a small group rises up and takes arms for Freedom, knowin' that they're gonna be free, and knowin' that they just can't be stopped, they always win. They're never just crushed like bugs or made an example of by the more numerous and better-armed oppressor.
      Just ask you-know-who.

  • Pragmatist2

    There are no angry winners, only angry losers.
    –Confucius(or somebody)

  • Negropolis

    Meh. Face paint, white hoods, same difference.

  • comrad_darkness

    It's almost like they are a gang of thugs…

  • tessiee

    A bloat of teabaggers?
    A hoverround of teabaggers?
    A whine of teabaggers?

  • AznMom420

    Poor Uncle Orrin all he wants to do is live in Washington forever, like some kind of majestic republican senaturtle. He's down with the kids he thinks he's hip to the base "death to spies" is airbrushed on the back of Uncle Orrin's denim jacket. Avoid the noid, no new taxes promises Uncle Orrin, but why won't the children listen.

  • ttommyunger

    "Much sound and fury, signifying nothing." Which is what they do best.

  • PristineODummy

    A santorum of teabaggers, of course.

  • PristineODummy

    ZOMFG. Is it "Great minds think alike," or "Small minds seldom differ"? Quick! Pick one~!

    • Negropolis

      All of them, Pristine-Katie.

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