this is pretty much perfect

Hero Wisconsin Protesters Succeed At Ruining Scott Walker’s Saturday

Here is a group of several dozen Wisconsin hippies doing a little protest performance art on a summer afternoon, “Reminding Scott Walker He Is a Douchesack” in three acts for guest of honor Scott Walker. The scene: an idyllic, sunny lake setting where Walker has arrived to celebrate the Devil’s Lake State Park centennial. The hippies open their show ominously, holding their “Recall Walker” protest signs as they float silently in their protest canoes behind Walker. 

Then, uh oh, they are surrounding the event area. Closing in! They chant at him whenever he stands up. Hey, Scott Walker has a massive bald spot and he is sweaty, and he is probably going more bald just from this event. He wishes the Koch Brothers would just murder all these hippies right now, with poison. Aren’t they doing that anyway? It’s not working fast enough.

Finally, the hippies just cold surround Walker and shove their protest signs in his face while he sweats himself to death. One hero protester manages to say right in his face, “You ought to be ashamed of yourself!” We can’t exactly hear what Walker says in response, but it sounds something possibly like, “That’s just mean-spirited,” or “THE JEWS DID 9/11.” …One of the two, which oh hey ZING, that was apparently the best he had after a couple hours to think of a good retort to the yelling hippies. Oh well, at least the hippies probably got a good tan. [YouTube/]

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  1. memzilla

    There were probably some Cuomosexuals* in the crowd, too.

    (Thanks For Teh Ghey Rightz, Governor!)

  2. the_problem_child

    Beautiful day, sweet day for a sail or paddle to the park to say howdy to the governor. With your correctly spelled sign.

    1. user-of-owls

      Really. I have no idea why the protest organizers did not reach out to the United Brotherhood of Poopy Gulls & Venomous Reptiles Local 54 for this event.

      Sloppy work you guys, just sloppy .

      1. Numbat_Dundee

        I'm sure the Australian Council of Trade Unions would have leant them a crocodile if they asked.

        1. user-of-owls

          Federated Brotherhood of Impaled Reality Animal Show Hosts Local 32 (Irwin) stands in solidarity with our Council brothers. Crikey!

  3. JoshuaNorton

    If you consider Scott Walker to be your elected voice of reason and sobriety, you better just have Betty Ford make up a room for you.

  4. Goonemeritus

    You know teachers weren’t so into free speech when my son was in third grade and started his infamous no Pierogi’s no peace protest in the lunch room.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      The Whole World is …. uh… sitting on their couch and stuffing their faces. Nevermind.

    2. weejee

      Pierogis at school lunch? In Wisconsin, way back in the the day, ol' Joltin' Joe McCarthy saw to it we got catloogies – WWII surplus salmon croquettes that were older than the students. Those delights tasted & went down like one might imagine would a hairball left among the dust bunnies by a Wonketteer's cat while it was hiding way, way under the bed.

    3. Terry

      But….but…but….pierogies are AWESOME. Potato and cheese filling or sauerkraut and mushroom, then after you boil them to cook the noodle, brown them in butter with carmelized onions. Mmmmmmmmm.

      1. BerkeleyBear

        See, I'm partial to the Baltic version, piragi. That's bacon and onions (or ham, or just about anything else) wrapped in delicious, slightly tangy yeast dough and then baked golden brown. Any meal of the day, right there – awesome with eggs for breakfast or beer and mustard for any other time of the day.

        1. Terry

          That sounds wonderful!

          Half my family are Slavs of various sorts. They can disagree on a lot of things, but if you lay out a table with pierogies, garlicy sausage/kielbassa/klobassy, some kind of cabbage, roast pork, and lots of beer, everyone hugs and sits down to eat. If bacon is involved, you become a cooking legend.

          1. BerkeleyBear

            Basically the only intact part of my father's heritage passed on to me is that dish. And the beer.

            Every peasant culture knows – you may hate your neighbor's annoying quirks, you may disagree on everything with your family, but you never turn your back on good food.

  5. PeaceWithHonor

    "We won't stop until somebody calls the cops and even then we'll start again and just pretend that nothing ever happened."

  6. gullywompr

    Back in my hippie days, Republicans used to yell at us. What is the world coming to?

      1. user-of-owls

        I got gut-screamed at by my student while marching against the first fucking Gulf War…while he was enrolled in my class!

        Yup, next Wednesday's night seminar was…awkward.

        1. Jukesgrrl

          He liked war so much … did he ever volunteer to fight in one?

          Thanks for teaching. You make a difference.

  7. assistantatlas

    Fuck yeah, protest canoes!

    You know, we make fun of hippies a lot because they're annoying and smell bad and always bogart your lighter, but every once in awhile, they do something that's pretty fucking cool. This is one of those times.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      You know a protester is serious when willing to row into a swarm of Wisconsin mosquitoes to make a point.

      1. natoslug

        Patchouli clouds are rolling out slightly here –they're all off to the Rainbow Gathering or some such. I guess that means a few days of nobody taking a crap on the sidewalks along the Arcata Plaza. Yay!

    1. L188188

      Au contraire. It apparently gives courage and the fire of righteousness to allow Wisconsinites to keep up the fight for over 4 months, to successfully force 6 recall elections of GOP senators, and to cause a Mr. Burns-like GOP puppet judge to choke one of his liberal court-mates. So watch your mouth there Jackie, smile when you talk about Wisconsin.

  8. Sue4466

    Why weren't the Teabaggers there protesting the socialism that is any state park system?

  9. Jukesgrrl

    Beware Wisconsin: the Koch brothers are embedding poison into their Vanity Fair paper products even as we speak. Remember everyone: No Vanity Fair brand paper napkins at those 4th of July picnics.

    1. Barrelhse

      And no Dixie! Solo is cheaper anyway.
      They are also responsible for Brawny, Angel Soft, and Great Northern.

  10. Rotundo_

    Ah Scooter, what a truly loved representative of the people. It was inspiring to feel the love as they were cheering on his governing. If I were this guy I would have a taster, and employ said taster at home, at Mom and Dads' for the holidays. Even if you watch them crack open the bottle and hear the hiss.

    1. tessiee

      "If I were this guy I would have a taster"

      And make his wife start his car every morning.

  11. user-of-owls

    OMG! US Representative Pete Hoekstra (R-MEME) just tweeted:

    Just saw brave Governor Walker encircled and attacked by terrorists. Now I know what it must have been like for Chiang Kai-Shek as Chairman Mao's "Strangle the Cities" campaign reached its endgame.

      1. PuckStopsHere

        Brave, brave Sir Robin is more like it:
        "When danger reared its ugly head, brave Sir Robin turned tail and fled…"

      1. PuckStopsHere

        NOW I get it! And a hell of a meme it is! I laud you, sir or madam, you user of owls.

    1. Limeylizzie

      Oh God, I thought that was an owlish form of sarcasm, but then I realised that Hoekstra has done other really fucking stupid things in the past.

        1. Limeylizzie

          Oh thank God, he is a supremely stupid man. I think the Dutch just don't travel well outside of Holland, after a few generations the retardation is strong…see Trump, Donald .

          1. Negropolis

            I thought Trump was a Scotsman? Yeah, they really don't travel well. Western Michigan is the American bastion of people who trace their roots back to the Netherlands (many of them still speak Dutch), but there of the crazy Reformed Church variety. Super religious, super insular. Can't tell you how many times I grew up hearing "if you ain't Dutch, you ain't much."

  12. rocktonsam

    meanwhile in Madison…

    conceal carry is made law and the metal detectors are removed from the state capitol.


    1. Negropolis

      Congratulations, Wisconsin! You are now the Texas of the North. Justice-choking, guns in the capitol, union destruction…but don't you worry your pretty little head. The rest of the Great Lakes save for Illinois are rushing to join you. Race to the bottom, y'all! Yee-Haw! Hold onto your butts!

      1. WriteyWriterton

        Yes, I never thought I'd be proud of my idiot-assed, machine-run, Lincoln-memorabilia-flogging home State, but at this moment, surrounded by the TeaOP, I, well, I am. (Sniffs, wipes tears with frayed public-servant cuff.)

    2. powersuit

      Oh, and the friggin' governor just killed off most of the craft breweries in the state, too, with some dumb-ass provision in the budget written by SAB Miller Molson Coors and the friggin' Tavern League (yes-only in Wisconsin).

      This is a man who, when he thinks of beer, thinks "Miller Lite" in a land of Ambergeddon, Yokel, Milk Stout, Autumnal Fire, Knot Stock, Cart Ride to Mexico, etc. etc.

  13. KennyCB

    Was this a local theater production of an updated version the William Inge classic Picdick?

  14. glamourdammerung

    If only the protestors had been small enough old women for Prosser to come along and get provoked into choking in self defense.

  15. Doktor Zoom

    As I mentioned before, This American Life did a pretty good piece on how Scott Walker has made Wisconsin an angry, angry place. It's now online (warning–link plays audio automatically; for a non-autoplaying link to the show summary, go here).

    1. soojank

      Planet Money (/it was on This American Life, also, maybe?) also did a podcast a little bit back about how Scott Walker's "job creating" policies haven't really… created jobs.

      1. Negropolis

        In Michigan, Snyder's "job creating" business tax cuts are going so well that at a conference the other week, he was caught begging the business communitiy to please use the tax cut to create jobs. lol!

        1. PuckStopsHere

          I know, right? Here's the payoff, Michigan! A $700 million dollar tax cut for biz and maybe these bastards will use the money to hire a worker or two, but they don't have to. Maybe they'll just keep it. Their choice. The $300/per pupil cut in our already cut to the bone public schools? No choice. Suck it up. I fucking hate this guy and I fucking hate all the stupid fucks who voted for him.

          1. Negropolis

            You signed the recall yet? I haven't been able to make any of the events, but there is still time. Highly unlikely he'll get recalled, but what the hell, I say.

            You know what Snyder calls his governing philosophy? "Relentless positive action." I'd laugh if it didn't sound so Orwellian.

  16. BarackMyWorld

    I'm guessing from the lack of commentary decrying "angry mobs" and bottom-screen headlines with accusatory question-marked statement, this footage didn't come from Fox News.

    1. Warpde

      Not to worry.
      I'm sure Weiner will have a strong hard cum back into….Ummmm….
      Politics…..yes that's it.

  17. Tommmcattt

    Barry should just round up the entire state and disappear them, like J. Edgar Hoover and the Mob did to Jimmy Hoffa.

    Problem solved!

    1. zhubajie

      Barry O isn't really the Hitler/Stalin type tyrant his enemies say he is! Otherwise, they wouldn't dare to say so. Probably, being authoritarian types, they'd love him!

  18. fuflans

    oh WI progressives you rock on!

    IL would have your back, but today, we're all just cold going to jail.

    1. abelilnkinverb

      That's ok, just have our back when we need to run to the border/clock tower in Rockford. (Where I now spend my money since they held the WI 14 safe and sound).

  19. fuflans

    also: this reminds me of those dr. who episodes where the evil angels with wings move closer every time you blink.

    that was pretty damn cool and pretty damn terrifying and many kudos to WI hippies.

  20. bflrtsplk

    Walker responded, "You hippies did 911. Don't forget to say 'Thank you' to the Koch brothers. Oops, forget I said that last part."

  21. flamingpdog

    "Finally, the hippies just cold surround Walker and shove their protest signs in his face while he sweats himself to death."

    I will not be there at the great white throne to unsoil the governor's breeches!

  22. C_R_Eature

    You know, I never bought into Christian Hell because, really, what needs to be worse than Khmer Rouge Cambodia, Rwanda, Buchenwald or Seaside Heights NJ in August but I'd like to see a little room in the Twilight Zone where this smug little prick has to watch TV news of smart, rational legislators in a Jeffersonian representative democracy, elected by an educated people, all working towards improving a technologically-sophisticated humanistic moral civilization. Forever.

    That's exactly the reverse of the parade of nonsense on my TV. Everyday. Forever.

      1. C_R_Eature

        Exactly! One actual and 10 ex 23 virtual Upfists for you!My first Zappa album. I think of this song often.

  23. Bigger than Rod

    Nobody got punched? This must have been staged by the Koch Bros who hired Dems, who hired Tea Bagger plants to act like hippies. It's pretty clear to me. Needs moar Wisconsin palm trees.

  24. Texan_Bulldog

    That's the most organized I've seen a group of Dems since 08. The DNC might want to take notes.

  25. fuflans

    speaking of baggers: i like that michele announces her campaign on the day blago gets convicted and gaddafi gets issued an arrest warrant.

    i don't know why, i just do.

    1. Rotundo_

      Such a beautiful place soiled by Scooters' presence. Sort of like placing a dog turd in a Faberge egg, or spraypainting the hope diamond flat black. I hope the stink of cheap politician bleaches away in sunlight quickly.

  26. Come here a minute

    Figures the DFH's would take canoes — they won't be taken seriously unless they get some monster polluting outboard motor.

  27. rambone

    “That’s just mean-spirited”

    As opposed to taking away the pension, pay and healthcare benefits of public employees because they didn't support your campaign . . .

  28. WilliamHTaft

    All this time we've been racking our brains coming up with a way to battle right wing douchebags without violence and the answer's been right under our noses the whole time. Gang, we need to start throwing hippies at Republicans.

  29. An_Outhouse

    A soundtrack filled with tweating birds and none of the lazy aviators could make a deposit on that shiny bald spot?

  30. KenLayIsAlive

    Any NYC Wonketters interested in this? Scott Walker is coming to Manhattan tomorrow night!

    From the Working Families Party:

    Spearheaded by our friends at AFSCME, a coalition called "We Are Wisconsin" will be hosting a rally outside of the Republican fundraiser in Midtown Manhattan tomorrow night. If you’re in the city, please stop by:

    Tuesday 6/28, 5:00 pm

    Grand Army Plaza Park 

    5th Avenue btw 58th & 60th

    1. ProudLibunatic

      These guys are AWESOME!!
      They helped one of my candidates when they endorsed him, and went door to door in support of his candidacy.
      This is grassroots at its best.
      I wish I could go!

  31. SaintRond

    Ha ha… Half of those people voted for that guy… Ha ha…

    Then they found out that hateful little pecker snot was coming for them.

  32. mourningnmerica

    I just want to say that it felt really good watching that. I am, in all sincerity, sending money for the recall.

  33. Negropolis

    WI Dems, be done with this man and release the Kraken! Er…release the protest canoes, post-haste. Also.

  34. sezme

    That video was kind of beautiful. I personally look forward to the day when I can no longer recall Walker.

  35. user-of-owls

    No. In fact he had already been in the military and actually did well in subsequent courses, and in outside venues (i.e., drinking and socializing) we quite ended up bonding. He was military, I was not; conservative, and not; but ultimately to Russell's credit, he was at least able to open his eyes to what genuine social scientific research entails: not opinion, not preconceived conclusions, but an open-ended safari in a hunt for something that maybe, just maybe, could be supported by the evidence! But, most likely, will require a degree of data torture that would shame Dan Mitrione.

    1. V572 [SSAN]

      That's nonsense. All the science anyone needs is in Genesis. As Omar the Caliph said before he put the torch to the great Liberry of Alexandria, "Everything in this library either agrees with the Koran, in which case it is superfluous, or disagrees with the Koran, in which case it is wrong."

      You know, all the Christards who are worrying about Sharia law and the caliphate ought to ask themselves if that's how they want to be remembered.

      1. zhubajie

        The Omar story is quite untrue. It's one of those factoids people repeat because they've heard others repeat them.

        The early Arabs were pretty sophisticated international businessmen, not true barbarians like the Franks or the Goths.

        1. V572 [SSAN]

          !I remember a physics professor in college relating it. Wonder if he was wrong about F = ma, too.

          1. zhubajie

            Physics profs are usually crap at history. The library was packed up by Julius Caesar's men, and ready to be shipped to Rome, when a riot broke out and the books were burned in the excitement.

            There are too many crocodile tears shed for the library of Alexandria, anyway, and not enough for the libraries of Tyre and Carthage. If we knew a tenth as much about Phoenician literature and science as we do of Greek, we'd understand Greece and the Bible in rather different ways!

        2. tessiee

          The story itself is true, but incorrectly attributed.
          It wasn't Omar who torched the lieberry, it was Paul Revere.

          1. BerkeleyBear

            It was how he warned the British the French were coming in the Napoleonic Wars to take their right to have noses on Sphinxes.

        3. zhubajie

          If you've a serious interest, check out F. E. Peters' excellent books, _The Heritage of Hellenism_ and _Allah's Commonwealth_. _Aristotle and the Arabs_ was good too but more technical.

  36. not that Dewey

    HAHA Totally O/T, but I just did a google search to try to find my googlesites website, and all I got was Wonkette in the returns. HAHAHAHA

  37. WilliamHTaft

    It must be terrifying to have to walk amongst the voters of Wisconsin. They're nothing at all like the billionaires at his fundraising parties. I bet the shouting never stops even after he's escorted far away from them. I guarantee you it keeps him awake long into the night.

    And he's dumb-looking. I'm sure that sucks, too.

  38. Radiotherapy®

    Hey, this anti-crossed-eyed-college-quitter-Kochsucker post is great and all, but the further that clown-serial-killer-garotte depiction gets pushed off the front page the better.

  39. zhubajie

    It's interesting that no cops protected the gov from the hippies. Does he no longer trust them? Do they refuse to protect him? It may imply his days are numbered.

  40. prommie

    The real heroes are the on-duty park rangers, who simply smirked and allowed this to happen, who in fact, clearly had made a decision to allow this to happen.

  41. tessiee

    "The best way to ruin a public event in Wisconsin is to invite or allow Scott Walker to attend."

    Evidently, it's also the best way to ruin government in Wisconsin.

  42. tessiee

    Somewhere, Rick Perry is reading this and smirking because the crowd was only hippies, not scary Hispanics.

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