SHE LOVES MURDER CLOWNS  2:22 pm June 27, 2011

Michele Bachmann Launches 2012 Presidential Campaign By Praising ‘Killer Clown’ John Wayne Gacy

by Wonkette Jr.

Michele Bachmann really respects John Wayne Gacy's American Values.Ridiculous clown Michele Bachmann officially launched her 2012 presidential campaign today in Waterloo, Iowa — where she paid tribute to another clown from this small Iowa town, psychopathic homosexual serial killer John Wayne Gacy. Why does Bachmann love the freakish monster known in American nightmares as the Killer Clown? Maybe because John Wayne Gacy loved dressing up as a circus clown and being around lots of kids, just like Bachmann! Really, this is what she said, except she apparently thinks the “John Wayne” from Waterloo, Iowa, is the iconic Western movie performer. Let’s roll the video from Fox News, and laugh together.

If it’s not funny enough that Michele Bachmann is running for president, and that she’s a crazy person who cannot stop the different voices in her head, and that she’s actually launching her campaign in a place called Waterloo, then we should all thank the Comedy Gods that she also told a teevee news reporter how much she loves “John Wayne,” perhaps the most famous (infamous?) person to even call Waterloo home:

The actor later known as John Wayne was actually born in Winterset, Iowa. [Via Mike Riggs]

 
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{ 321 comments }

Schmannnity June 27, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Better check her crawlspace.

Peace in our time June 27, 2011 at 2:27 pm

You do it, I'm not going ANYWHERE near her "crawlspace."

guangho June 27, 2011 at 2:36 pm

It's a tight fit.

FNMA June 27, 2011 at 3:03 pm

Don't know about that. The way she's gone through kids, you could probably fit a couple dozen Cub Scouts down there.

Tommmcattt June 27, 2011 at 4:25 pm

Completely dry though.

PristineODummy June 27, 2011 at 5:43 pm

She pops babies like a salad shooter pops greens. I'm guessing you could toss a couple of bollards in there at this point. "Crawlspace," her ass. More like a swimspace.

WriteyWriterton June 27, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Completely empty. Oh, wait. I thought you wrote "cranial space."

Gopherit June 27, 2011 at 3:24 pm

She fostered 23 kids……that we know of.

poncho_pilot June 27, 2011 at 4:00 pm

fosters. freezes. turns them into soft serve.

PristineODummy June 27, 2011 at 5:44 pm

Does anybody know why she specified "girls only"? Seems like a nice Christian lady wouldn't discriminate that way. Was she worried that Marcus "LightLoafers" HubbyMann would jump boys' tender little behinds?

Radiotherapy® June 27, 2011 at 4:04 pm

It probably doesn't match the drapes.

mourningnmerica June 27, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Michelle Bachmann IS the crawlspace of the Republican Party.

starfanglednut June 27, 2011 at 11:18 pm

In Russia, crawlspace check you!

nounverb911 June 27, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Bachmannn/Jeebus 0032!

mourningnmerica June 27, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Nostradamus / Mayans 2012.

Barb June 27, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Like John Wayne Gacy, she also likes to collect children. Coincidence? I think not.

Geminisunmars June 27, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Ah, so that's her role model. Ok.

Doktor Zoom June 27, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Duh. The real John Wayne was from Marion Morrison Illinois.

Noman June 27, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Do you mean John Wayne Gacy, the Democrat organizer and friend to Jimmy Carter's wife?

LabRodent June 27, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Look below this comment. Nuff said.

bumfug June 27, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Bachmann was probably more pissed about Gacy being a democrat than about him rape-murdering kids.

SorosBot June 27, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Remember that words have meanings; someone who met a celebrity once and had their picture taken with them is not a friend.

Maybe you'd understand the meaning of the word "friend" if you actually had some.

Bigger than Rod June 27, 2011 at 3:45 pm

Yes, this explains the party's pro-serial killer position!

What is your comment supposed to prove anyway? The senselessness of it makes it idiotic to use this as any rational argument. There are equivalent examples of this type of thing on the Con side. You, sir, are cowardly, low-end, little turd of a troll. It's not difficult to find fault with Democrat policies, but if you think Republicans are any 'better' than them you clearly have bigger problems.

tessiee June 27, 2011 at 11:40 pm

I think you may be giving him credit for too much, and too complex, thought.
My take on his posting here is, "Baby wants attention".

ManchuCandidate June 27, 2011 at 2:26 pm

And the teabaggers take the field.

Schmannnity June 29, 2011 at 11:14 pm

Manchu, what happened to your p-ness?

ManchuCandidate June 30, 2011 at 9:33 am

SW glitch or Intense Debate really hates me. I'm cool with it.

Goonemeritus June 27, 2011 at 2:27 pm

Anyone check her freezer for severed heads?

nounverb911 June 27, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Are all her foster kids accounted for?

Rarian Rakista June 27, 2011 at 3:03 pm

I think Bachman might know if children's tumors taste like chicken McNuggets.

Doktor Zoom June 27, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Hey, that's totally unfair. Gacy was only a child-raping serial killer. You're thinking of Dahmer, who was a child-raping serial killer cannibal.

iburl June 27, 2011 at 2:39 pm

And John Wayne (i.e.. Marion Robert Morrison) was only a serial killer of minorities, in the movies.

Lascauxcaveman June 27, 2011 at 2:50 pm

Most of those times, when he was shooting Indians off their horses? Totally faked; hardly anyone was actually killed.

And a lot of the time? Not even real Indians.

Doktor Zoom June 27, 2011 at 3:18 pm

On the up side, in several movies, Navajo extras would substitute their own creative dialogue, which directors were utterly unaware of. Here's an example from John Ford's "A Distant Trumpet," in the documentary Reel Injun. There's also scene in one of Tony Hillerman's novels where a drive-in on the Rez is showing Ford's "Cheyenne Autumn" to the appreciative laughter of the Navajo audience–the "Cheyenne" dialogue was actually Navajo, mostly bawdy, and almost all insulting commentary on whites.

mourningnmerica June 27, 2011 at 4:18 pm

And he could beat the queer right out of you. Also.

Goonemeritus June 27, 2011 at 2:42 pm

My sincerest apologies to Mr. Gacy’s good name. This would not have happened if I watched Fox news instead of PBS. I find The News Hour always skimps on the details of serial killing.

PristineODummy June 27, 2011 at 5:47 pm

I thought Jeffy tended to stick to (um, OK) people his own age.

WhatTheHolyHeck June 27, 2011 at 2:27 pm

Is it possible to facepalm yourself to death?

Monsieur_Grumpe June 27, 2011 at 2:29 pm

I suspect we will find the answer to this important question in 2012.

WhatTheHolyHeck June 27, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Sorry, but I don't think it can wait. I'm already starting to welt up here.

Rarian Rakista June 27, 2011 at 3:05 pm

I will swim to Europe if she is let anywhere near the nuclear football.

superdave June 27, 2011 at 3:00 pm

I've definitely pulled an ocular muscle from all the eye-rolling.

baconzgood June 27, 2011 at 3:11 pm

Ed Rollins is going to find out soon.

poncho_pilot June 27, 2011 at 4:04 pm

i think you have to push the nose cartilage into the brain.

PristineODummy June 27, 2011 at 5:48 pm

If you're listening to BatShitKrayZMann, yes.

DashboardBuddha June 27, 2011 at 2:27 pm

Winterset, IA you dumb twit.

mourningnmerica June 27, 2011 at 4:07 pm

It doesn't matter, they're both Real America. God bless John Wayne, and Ethanol, and Jobs, and Ringin' Those Bells, and Died For Our Sins, and Drill Baby Drill, and oh, heck…

finallyhappy June 27, 2011 at 4:17 pm

The Machine Shed giant sweet rolls, John Deere Headquarters- Iowa- it's everything

nounverb911 June 27, 2011 at 2:27 pm

Does this mean that Bachmannn likes little boys too?

HuddledMass June 27, 2011 at 2:53 pm

If so, she failed to capitalize on that fostering thing — 23 teenage girls.

elviouslyqueer June 27, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Well, no, but her husband sure does.

Swampgas_Man June 27, 2011 at 7:10 pm

She's his "enabler".

Rarian Rakista June 27, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Only their peens, her face is made up of their foreskins.

Weenus299 June 27, 2011 at 2:27 pm

Adolph Hitler in high heels and a power suitskirt thing.

Radiotherapy® June 27, 2011 at 2:27 pm

Well, JWG did offer the kids Jobs, jobs, jobs.

guangho June 27, 2011 at 2:38 pm

And now he is dead. Why do we hate small business? Why do we literally kill efforts at job creation?

axmxz June 27, 2011 at 3:39 pm

Also jabs, jabs, jabs.

PristineODummy June 27, 2011 at 5:50 pm

More of the latter, I think, or they wouldn't all have wussed out and DIED on him. Poor, lonely Johnny.

mourningnmerica June 27, 2011 at 4:09 pm

And like Michelle Bachmann, he was looking to fuck them in the ass.

PristineODummy June 27, 2011 at 5:50 pm

Wha'dya wanna bet Michele pegs Marcus like a motherfucker?

SpurningBeer June 27, 2011 at 2:28 pm

The other John Wayne's real name was Marion. Just saying.

ifthethunderdontgetya June 27, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Waterloo is where Napoleon Bone Parts invented the flush toilet, for Freedoms™.

-Michele Bachmann
~

DaRooster June 27, 2011 at 3:01 pm

This type of history rings a bell…

Doktor Zoom June 27, 2011 at 3:25 pm

Filthy lies–we all know it was invented in Flushing NY by Sir Thomas Crapper.

flamingpdog June 27, 2011 at 11:11 pm

No, no, no, even LouSarahP could tell you that Waterloo is where Wellington beat his Bone Apart.

tessiee June 27, 2011 at 11:48 pm

??

I thought it was where Paul Revere was beating off the British.

MildMidwesterner June 27, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Why did Orange County name its airport after a murderer?

Noman June 27, 2011 at 2:39 pm

….because of his extensive service to the Democratic Party in the Chicago area, as detailed the post by Pres[Exterminate] below.

Arken June 27, 2011 at 2:48 pm

If you ever went to that airport, you'd understand.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 27, 2011 at 2:49 pm

Have you been to Orange County?

Noman June 27, 2011 at 3:51 pm

It's a-peeling.

starfanglednut June 27, 2011 at 11:39 pm

Hey everybody! Troll make joke!

Terry June 27, 2011 at 2:57 pm

No, they named it after a guy named Marion who looks fierce in espadrilles:
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y125/kskiska/joh

elviouslyqueer June 27, 2011 at 3:02 pm

ROWR! *fap fap fap*

samsuncle June 27, 2011 at 3:09 pm

John Wayne has a camel toe! Who would have thunk it.

Terry June 27, 2011 at 3:10 pm

Makes you wonder why he didn't buy shorts in his actual size.

Geminisunmars June 27, 2011 at 3:10 pm

I like the way he carries his package. Slung. Over his shoulder.

Terry June 27, 2011 at 9:20 pm

Like a Continental soldier?

SorosBot June 27, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Named after a guy who liked to run around with toy guns pretending to be a soldier while real soldiers were actually fighting in the real world, and who died because he was part of a project that just decided to stick their heads in the sand and ignore very real environmental hazards that ended up killing most of the people involved; he was a perfect symbol of the the GOP.

Doktor Zoom June 27, 2011 at 3:29 pm

And as the late great Gil Scott Heron reminded us, in 1980, America was looking for a cowboy hero to save the day, "but since John Wayne was no longer available, we settled for Ronald Raygun."

Mandate, my ass.

PristineODummy June 27, 2011 at 5:58 pm

See, here's what's wrong with all you libunatics. You keep thinking "mandate" is a word. A single word. It's not.

It's "man date." We settled for Ronald Raygun and he fucked our collective ass so bad we may never walk again.

zhubajie June 27, 2011 at 6:26 pm

WW II era draft dodger, like Reagan.

PristineODummy June 27, 2011 at 5:55 pm

Wow. How not-gay is THAT!! (NITBAFS)

Swampgas_Man June 27, 2011 at 7:17 pm

Not In The Butt, Afraid of Frothy Santorum?

flamingpdog June 27, 2011 at 11:16 pm

I wasn't going to look at it. I REALLY wasn't going to look at it … Damn!

GOPCrusher June 27, 2011 at 4:46 pm

Probably the same reason my luggage gets lost whenever I fly into Reagan National Airport.

Monsieur_Grumpe June 27, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Somebody has a full time job adjusting her meds.

Doktor Zoom June 27, 2011 at 2:34 pm

See, she's already using the free market to grow the economy!

hooray4anything June 27, 2011 at 2:31 pm

It's already made Politico and a bunch of other sites so expect her to go on the Hannity show real soon and talk about how John Wayne (the real one) would often visit there to warn folks about Socialism and there to be a big fight on Wikipedia where her supporters try and change Wayne's place of birth.

PsycWench June 27, 2011 at 2:58 pm

Don't forget how John Wayne and John Wayne Gacy worked tirelessly together to end slavery.

starfanglednut June 27, 2011 at 11:42 pm

And looked fabulous in those white powdered wigs.

MegPasadena June 27, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Did he warn the town folks while riding his horse, ringing those bells and firing those shots?

Slim_Pickins June 27, 2011 at 7:59 pm

There is no "real John Wayne" The Duke was Marion Morrison.

OkieDokieDog June 27, 2011 at 2:31 pm

She's courting the Juggalos – they're a huge clown voting block .

CZL June 27, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Felons can't vote.

hooray4anything June 27, 2011 at 3:00 pm

It's a good voting bloc to go after as I'm pretty sure Bachmann doesn't know how magnets work either

EatsBabyDingos June 27, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Is she Insane in the Membrane?

Geminisunmars June 27, 2011 at 3:11 pm

There too.

baconzgood June 27, 2011 at 2:31 pm

"….Now on to La Crosse Wisconsin to visit Ed Gein's place"

-Michele Bachmann-

Doktor Zoom June 27, 2011 at 2:52 pm

To be fair to her, she probably thinks she's going to be on Win Ed Gein's Money.

Noman June 27, 2011 at 2:32 pm

That's false.

Dear Leader said he visited 57 states, skipped two, and still had one state to visit.

57 states visited, plus two states skipped, plus one more state = 60 states.

You are going to have to know this stuff when you are sent to a Obama Re-education Camp.

UpFistTroll June 27, 2011 at 2:36 pm

http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/57states.asp

Since you're wrong, hopefully you'll be one of the first executed! Or not. We'll need to put you to work since you and your cunt kind are driving out all the immigrants leaving millions of dollars of crops to spoil in the fields. Arbeit macht frei, motherfucker.

Oh wait, I forgot, Snopes is "liberal" being fact-based and all.

Noman June 27, 2011 at 2:42 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpGH02DtIws

Watch Dear Leader himself state exactly what I did.

visited 57 states, skipped two (Alaska & Hawaii) and still had one left to visit.

Add 'em up = 60 states total.

Libunatics give themselves infinite slack while giving non-communists zero slack.

Karma_Suture June 27, 2011 at 3:42 pm

Normie's so cute isn't he?

GOPCrusher June 27, 2011 at 4:41 pm

I miss the days when trolls could at least communicate in a somewhat intellectual basis.
I blame the No Child Left Behind education system.

LionHeartSoyDog June 27, 2011 at 5:25 pm

Noman Baits of Psycho fame.

PristineODummy June 27, 2011 at 5:52 pm

No.

ChessieNefercat June 27, 2011 at 6:54 pm

No, not really. If he were cute, he wouldn't spend all his time frustratedly fapping away to people with whom he has nothing in common.

riverside68 June 27, 2011 at 2:45 pm

Dude, you totally left out the part about 60 being the number of Islamic states in the world!

Come on, if you're going off the end, go all the way, don't be a pussy about it; you end up looking like liberal santorium.

Noman June 27, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Libunatics give themselves infinite slack while giving non-communists zero slack.

LesPaultard June 27, 2011 at 3:44 pm

One or two times is slack. A history of repeatedly spouting bullshit is altogether different.

riverside68 June 27, 2011 at 5:03 pm

ahh, did you notice that I use liberal as a derogatory adjective?

It's not like you are going to convince anyone here, so come out of the closet and stand with your mates: Isn't it true that Dear Leader's slip was a reference to Islamic states?

(Or are you drawing the line at not knowing the number of states in the US? In which case my liberal slur stands: someone without the courage of their convictions, or, in some cases, someone who knows how much they don't know, but that couldn't apply to you, right?)

Mumbletypeg June 27, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Is there a word for this, these things, coming out of her mouth, so stupefyingly ridiculous? I am out of words and snark. Bachmann drivel is toxic; she's a stealth serial snark killer. Murder most foul.

Geminisunmars June 27, 2011 at 3:15 pm

It's not just the crap coming out of her mouth, but wtf is going into the ears and "brains" of her supporters?

lochnessmonster June 27, 2011 at 5:10 pm

I call it circular speak. I don't know but I think there might be a college course. It's the way Sarah Mama Grizzly Bear Lipstick on a Pitbull Palin speaks also too!

Swampgas_Man June 27, 2011 at 7:19 pm

"Stupidity" comes to mind. Nevermind that it's a way of life for some repugs; she's just better and louder w/ it than some folks.

Eve8Apples June 27, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Every comedian and comedy writer in America fell to their knees and praised Jesus, God, Allah and Buddha the moment that goofy bitch entered the presidential race.

Amo_of_Bogio June 27, 2011 at 3:42 pm

She also said the following: "And it is made up of Americans from all walks of life like a three-legged stool. It's the peace through strength Republicans, and I'm one of them, it's fiscal conservatives, and I'm one of them, and it's social conservatives, and I'm one of them. It's the Tea Party movement and I'm one of them."
…now I'm not a stool expert, but I think she just counted four legs on her three legged stool of the people.

Amo_of_Bogio June 27, 2011 at 3:42 pm

teehee

"stool"

GOPCrusher June 27, 2011 at 4:54 pm

But, by the end of the year, santorum will be on the lips of every young Republiklan.

PristineODummy June 27, 2011 at 6:02 pm

I'm secretly (secretely?) in love with that line and promulgating it at every opportunity.

freakishlywrong June 27, 2011 at 2:33 pm

The fact that this utter flake/clown is even allowed to run for the highest office in the land screams "Murican Septionalizm". The fact that "journalists" have to interview her with a straight face, (and won't push back on her bullshit), would be fun to watch if the consequences weren't so tragic.

proudgrampa June 27, 2011 at 2:44 pm

I thought Bob Schieffer did a decent job of calling her out on her non-answers during Face the Nation yesterday.

freakishlywrong June 27, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Except, he thanked her for out and out lying; he should have dis-invited her from ever appearing again.

hooray4anything June 27, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Chris Wallace went after her too but had to apologize later when the Corporate Overlords had to explain to him what his job at FOX was.

GOPCrusher June 27, 2011 at 4:57 pm
RedneckMuslin June 27, 2011 at 2:36 pm

Dubya Bush did.

PristineODummy June 27, 2011 at 5:51 pm

But he wasn't a Vaginal-American, no matter how much he might have sounded like one.

Clancy_Pants June 27, 2011 at 2:36 pm

Honest mistake, Winterset, Waterloo… Only 160 miles apart. Well 160 miles of endless cornfield soybean hell! You could drive it in a day but I wouldn't recommend it.

riverside68 June 27, 2011 at 2:51 pm

But it is 160 miles of absolute flat. So flat, in fact, that the Flat Earth Society uses it to refute the round earth theory.

WriteyWriterton June 27, 2011 at 3:28 pm

And I mean Illinois between Chicago and Bloomington-Normal, to be precise.

under_score June 27, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Nuh-uh, try the 125 miles of interstate(intrastate) between Amarillo and Lubbock if you want to see flat. Then we'll talk. You'll long for the scenic cornfields.

WriteyWriterton June 27, 2011 at 4:23 pm

Texas. I say "Feh" to it.

EatsBabyDingos June 27, 2011 at 2:36 pm

Bachmann-[anybody with a pulse] 2012: Making the Armegeddon seem like a good idea..

Bachmann-Palin 2012: A Pack of Lips Now.

Bachmann-Robertson 2012: OK, now you are just Pissing God Off.

hooray4anything June 27, 2011 at 3:04 pm

My money's on Romney-Bachmann: she'll bring in the Tea Bagger vote and make the Born Agains look past his Mormonism. As for the rest of us, we'll be crying ourselves to sleep

mourningnmerica June 27, 2011 at 4:33 pm

Bachmann / Belushi 2012: Sell Me Your Children

Palin / Gingrich 2012: You Complete Me

Mittens / Huntsman 2012: Utah, Bitch

Cain / Thomas 2012: Step…And Fetch It

Trump / santorum 2012: (your slogan here)

Angry_Marmot June 27, 2011 at 5:29 pm

Trump / Santorum 2012: One Wears a Tribble, the Other's a Dribble

SorosBot June 27, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Looks like you were off; it took four minutes.

Noman June 27, 2011 at 2:43 pm

That's 16 times as long as you take, according to the boys on Polk Street.

Schmannnity June 29, 2011 at 11:22 pm

I would reply, but you are – 69

Doktor Zoom June 27, 2011 at 2:50 pm

And not a word about teleprompterz. I think the poor boy is off his game today.

I'm especially impressed that he seems to think we're disputing that Obama said it–not that it was a trivial verbal slip–and that he honestly doesn't seem to recognize the difference between a slip of the tongue and planned remarks that praise the wrong fucking Concord as the location of the American Revolution's first battle.

tessiee June 27, 2011 at 11:47 pm

To say nothing of the way Palin, Reagan, et. al., *repeat* the same lies, even after they're repeatedly corrected, shown the videotape where they're saying whatever they denied they said, etc.
There are mistakes, and then there's *aggressive* stupidity.

iburl June 27, 2011 at 2:37 pm

She is also a big Fan of Lee Harvey's AM Radio broadcasts and Sirhan Sirhan's Rio Album.

baconzgood June 27, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Funny. I thought if anyone had all facts of america's most notorious serial killers tattooed to memory it would be her.

RedneckMuslin June 27, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Maybe she didn't misspeak and really meant Gacy. She's nuts, ya know.

Swampgas_Man June 27, 2011 at 7:23 pm

After all, he did such great work w/ young people, and reduced the teh Gai locally.

Callyson June 27, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Great, now I'll have ABBA going through my head all day.

flamingpdog June 27, 2011 at 3:20 pm

"Gnawing me, gnawing you, it's the best I can do."
-Jeffrey DABBAhmer.

Doktor Zoom June 27, 2011 at 6:41 pm

Other Dahmer hits:

"I've got Hugh under my skin"

"I left Mike's heart behind the Crisco"

"Is this the little boy I curried…?"

ChessieNefercat June 27, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Aw, come on, isn't it better than listening to Palin, or Bachmann?

At least the sound of ABBA doesn't make puppies piddle, birds fall out of the sky, cats run into walls, and cows tip over.

Come here a minute June 27, 2011 at 2:41 pm

The press would be irresponsible to quote her on this, after her office issues a press release explaining that this was not intended to be a factual statement.

SorosBot June 27, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Does she also think Waterloo, Iowa is the place where Napoleon did surrender?

PsycWench June 27, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Paris, Texas is the location of the Eiffel Tower.

flamingpdog June 27, 2011 at 3:21 pm

And the pyramids are in Cairo, Illinois.

genxr June 27, 2011 at 3:45 pm

Waterloo is where Bill and Ted found Napoleon and brought him back in time for their history report.

bflrtsplk June 27, 2011 at 4:14 pm

C'mon man. Napoleon surrendered at Waterloo, Texas, just before or maybe after the Alamo.

WriteyWriterton June 27, 2011 at 4:44 pm

Who's Surrender and where exactly did Napoleon do her/him?

PristineODummy June 27, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Is Napoleon that Italian dood who makes the tasty pastries?

PeaceWithHonor June 27, 2011 at 2:44 pm

I'm getting pretty excited for the Romney/Bachmann ticket–the political equivalent of the mullet. Mormon in the front, crazy in the rear.

BTWBFDIMHO June 27, 2011 at 3:35 pm

You owe me a new keyboard.

donner_froh June 27, 2011 at 2:45 pm

Wait until she hits Milwaukee and announces that she loves Jeffrey Dahmer.

Weenus299 June 27, 2011 at 3:25 pm

She'd actually mean Arthur Fonzarelli.

Rotundo_ June 27, 2011 at 6:08 pm

If it were still open, She could go to Ambrosia chocolates (where Jeffy worked between dining on skinny kids) and smile warmly as she says "I've always admired cholocate workers like Jeff Dahmer, who was on the always pushing the culinary envelope".

weejee June 27, 2011 at 2:49 pm

MB has caught the ghey? See how fast it happens!!1!! NY passes the marriage bill & snick snatch snack, Michele Bachmann has landed on the shores of the Isle of Lesbos.

HistoriCat June 27, 2011 at 5:03 pm

Please – she already caught the ghey from her husband.

AJWjr. June 27, 2011 at 5:36 pm

But not by injection!

johnnymeatworth June 27, 2011 at 2:50 pm

When she comes through Texas she can pay tribute to that great American hero known as Leatherface.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 27, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Don't be so harsh. Of course she praised Mr. Gacy. After all, he never asked for a government handout once. And he took all those young boys off of the welfare rolls. Plus he liked to dress up.

John Wayne Gacy was a 'bagger before they had a black president to get mad at.

simplyblue7 June 27, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Waterloo…says it all.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 27, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Plus, now, Bachmann's make up and weird address to no camera in particular on behalf of the Tea Party makes so much more sense.

littlebigdaddy June 27, 2011 at 2:57 pm

Yeah, come to think of it JWG was creepily photogenic and capable of holding people in thrall. Coincidence?

zhubajie June 27, 2011 at 6:35 pm

He was a member of the Junior Chamber of Commerce! Even founded a Joliet State Prison branch!

Steverino247 June 27, 2011 at 2:59 pm

The only way to make this better would have been for her to have made the statement on June 18th, the 196st anniversary of the Battle of Waterloo.

(Never been to Waterloo, Iowa, but I have been to Waterloo, Belgium. Had to point at what I wanted to eat, though, as apparently "Cheeseburger" is pronounced very differently there, despite being spelled the same.)

littlebigdaddy June 27, 2011 at 3:41 pm

Oh, that is some ridiculous power trip that francophones amuse themselves with. I have studied French most my life, lived in France on two occasions, publicly lectured in French, and still get the pretend incomprehension. On the other hand, I am now living in a German speaking country, speak very rudimentary German, and have never had anyone do that.

Steverino247 June 27, 2011 at 4:11 pm

My wife picked up the local German dialect when we lived there, but I could never understand why they didn't sound like my high school and college German classes.

I once struggled with two Parisian police officers to find a camp ground until I showed them "camping=camping" in my dictionary. Oh, Kam PEENG! they said and pointed me the right direction.

Doktor Zoom June 27, 2011 at 6:35 pm

Dang. I thought it was "Royale with Cheese"

baconzgood June 27, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Once again the liberal media takes things out of context using Michele Bachmann own "words".

Wait a sec…..She was BORN in Waterloo Iowa. WHAT A FUCKIN IDIOT!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michele_Bachmann#Ear

Radiotherapy® June 27, 2011 at 3:00 pm

You know who else was a clown?

nounverb911 June 27, 2011 at 3:05 pm
ifthethunderdontgetya June 27, 2011 at 3:07 pm

HITLER!
~

horsedreamer_1 June 27, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Pennywise?

Schmannnity June 27, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Cathy's boyfriend? (Everly Brothers)

GOPCrusher June 27, 2011 at 5:22 pm

WIN!

Geminisunmars June 27, 2011 at 3:26 pm

W?

littlebigdaddy June 27, 2011 at 3:42 pm

Shakes?

mourningnmerica June 27, 2011 at 4:42 pm

All right !!! Shakes the Clown reference. If any Wonketteer has NOT seen the movie "Shakes the Clown" starring the incomparable Bobcat Goldthwait, stop what you are doing, and rent it NOW. One of the best movies evar. Trust me on this. Just do it.

Rotundo_ June 27, 2011 at 6:20 pm

It's on Hulu for free if you don't mind the ads. The wake-up sequence is pure crystalline humor.

Doktor Zoom June 27, 2011 at 3:44 pm
GOPCrusher June 27, 2011 at 5:22 pm

Bozo?

LionHeartSoyDog June 27, 2011 at 5:59 pm

Smokey Robinson?

not that Dewey June 27, 2011 at 6:19 pm

Pagliacci?

PristineODummy June 27, 2011 at 6:46 pm

Wait, no, don't tell me.

I mean, srsly. Don't tell me.

ChessieNefercat June 27, 2011 at 7:10 pm

Noman?

Radiotherapy® June 27, 2011 at 8:22 pm

FTW!

Doktor Zoom June 27, 2011 at 8:12 pm

How about those clowns in Congress? What a bunch of clowns!

hooray4anything June 27, 2011 at 3:01 pm

What, you're expecting anyone associated with that campaign to know any European history? It's not even obvious they know American history

BaldarTFlagass June 27, 2011 at 3:03 pm

If she really wants to remind us of how much she resembles John Wayne, maybe she could start smoking 4 packs a day and die of cancer.

cheetojeebus June 27, 2011 at 3:04 pm

I hear she makes a fabulous fava bean salad. It's a great side for her "Hot Dish" with it's surprise meat filling. Yummm!!!!

Flat_Earther June 27, 2011 at 4:30 pm

Hot Dish! I have neighbors from MN who aoften speak of this.

PristineODummy June 27, 2011 at 6:51 pm

Has anyone checked on her "foster children" of late? Are they all OK? No missing bits?

DaRooster June 27, 2011 at 3:04 pm

They both start with W… so it's the same thing…

prommie June 27, 2011 at 3:06 pm

All I know is I feel like I win when she loses.

Billmatic June 27, 2011 at 3:09 pm

It's ok, she got makeup tips from John Wayne Gacy.

freakishlywrong June 27, 2011 at 3:11 pm
Geminisunmars June 27, 2011 at 3:25 pm

Ah. It is all becoming clear now. . .

fuflans June 27, 2011 at 3:12 pm

speaking of criminals from chicago: blago's going down.

littlebigdaddy June 27, 2011 at 3:43 pm

I heard that rumor a long time ago.

Noman June 27, 2011 at 3:54 pm

"speaking of criminals from chicago:"

Please stay on topic, this is about Bachmann, not Barry.

GOPCrusher June 27, 2011 at 5:23 pm

Continuing the tradition of Illinois governors.

Geminisunmars June 27, 2011 at 3:17 pm

Matt Taibi in "Rolling Stone". I'm too lazy to find the link.

BarackMyWorld June 27, 2011 at 3:18 pm

Clearly Matt Taibbi was very, very wrong about the Bachmann non-laughability factor.

littlebigdaddy June 27, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Who can trust someone named "Matt Taibbi" anyway? And what is his relationship to Matt Bai?

Allmighty_Manos June 27, 2011 at 3:19 pm

Either way, they're both assholes.

owhatever June 27, 2011 at 3:22 pm

All of those foster children she had? Burp.

BarackMyWorld June 27, 2011 at 3:23 pm
Tundra Grifter June 27, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Don't miss Bob Schieffer's interview of Ole Crazy Eyes ("Face the Nation") Sunday, June 26th. Time after time she refused to answer basic questions. The oddest thing was, she didn't seem to know she was dodging an ducking. She was so unaware.

Meanwhile, Waterloo, indeed…

littlebigdaddy June 27, 2011 at 3:45 pm

C'mon, Bob Schieffer is still alive? Naww…

smitallica June 27, 2011 at 3:24 pm

C'mon, let's not split hairs. When she said John Wayne was from Waterloo, IA she probably meant to say Winterset, IA, which is where he's from. Just like when she says she's against big government and taxes, she probably meant to say she was once a lawyer for the IRS who went after delinquent taxpayers, and supported the Patriot Act, which is what she actually did. Shades of gray, people.

Doktor Zoom June 27, 2011 at 6:49 pm

Or when she explained that when she said we need to investigate whether members of Congress are anti-American, she didn't really mean that we should investigate whether members of Congress are anti-American.

genxr June 27, 2011 at 3:28 pm

Bachmann/Dexter 2012!

Redhead June 27, 2011 at 3:29 pm

They do share the same crazy eyes and psychotic stare.

PuckStopsHere June 27, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Milky.

flamingpdog June 27, 2011 at 3:35 pm

Or funny (except in the head), either.

genxr June 27, 2011 at 3:38 pm

It's like Dubya said, "You can't lead if you send mexed missages"

Noman June 27, 2011 at 3:49 pm

Anyone on a ballot running in opposition to a complete corrupt Chicago-style hustler is just fine with me.

Karma_Suture June 27, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Found just the guy for ya. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRLPW8RlUvE

Noman June 27, 2011 at 3:53 pm

"The Land O' Lincoln's former Governor just got convicted on 17 of 19 counts"

Democrat Rod Blagojevich.

WriteyWriterton June 27, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Why, yes, Noman, thank you for noticing. Blago is a Democrat.

We're very proud of all our criminal Democratic Governors here at Wonkette. We Democrats elect criminals whenever we can. In fact, we only elect criminals to public office. Especially war criminals.

Best,

Writey

Noman June 27, 2011 at 4:02 pm
WriteyWriterton June 27, 2011 at 4:21 pm

And the last Governor we sent to prison was a Republican. We have an equal opportunity US Attorney's office here. It's the one run by the guy who convicted Scooter Libby.

GOPCrusher June 27, 2011 at 5:26 pm

If he was Republiklan, his name would be mentioned as a possible front runner for the Presidential Republiklan Candidate.

tessiee June 28, 2011 at 12:08 am

"We Democrats elect criminals whenever we can. In fact, we only elect criminals to public office. Especially war criminals."

Also, we make doughnuts out of aborted babbys.
Just sayin'.

Karma_Suture June 27, 2011 at 4:01 pm

You really need some confirmation don't you.?

Wipe the spittle off your chin will you? It's distracting.

elviouslyqueer June 27, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Right, "Noman." Because Republican governors would never ever ever be caught doing anything improper, unethical, or illegal. Oh, wait.

finallyhappy June 27, 2011 at 4:24 pm

But we know that doing illegal immoral things are the GOP way -so when they do it, it is ok.

WriteyWriterton June 27, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Thanks eq. I couldn't get to the url fast enough.

WriteyWriterton June 27, 2011 at 3:55 pm

Higher than most, but he's an overachiever.

mourningnmerica June 27, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Love the pic.

ChessieNefercat June 27, 2011 at 3:59 pm

And Marie Antoinette's palace is in Versailles, Kentucky.
And so many pyramids can be found near Memphis, Tennessee.

Goodness, America is exceptional. Who needs the rest of the world any more?

Doktor Zoom June 27, 2011 at 6:38 pm

Did I forget to mention, to mention Memphis
Home of Elvis and the ancient greeks ….

ChessieNefercat June 27, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Did she say whether she would adopt ABBA's tune for her campaign song?

poncho_pilot June 27, 2011 at 4:08 pm

that sheds some light on this scene from Repo Man:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uv_WGEHr4I

axmxz June 27, 2011 at 4:10 pm

People know that she has 23 foster children; what they don't know is that they're not the same children year to year.

imissopus June 27, 2011 at 4:14 pm

In case no one has posted this yet:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otx49Ko3fxw

rambone June 27, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Freudian slip?

El Pinche June 27, 2011 at 4:27 pm

I guess you libupsychocommiesocialunatics don't see the genius of Bachmann and the demographics she's going for.

What white conservative christian male doesn't have crowded crawl space and/or collection of pre-teen boy shoes?

Doktor Zoom June 27, 2011 at 6:31 pm

The fist thing I scanned in your new portmanteau was "chocommie." Mmmm. Chocolate communism.

SorosBot June 27, 2011 at 4:28 pm

Did you completely forget the stimulus?

ChessieNefercat June 27, 2011 at 7:01 pm

No, he didn't, but every time they hear the word "stimulus" they picture whatever is a very personal stimulus to their own fappity self and get totally distracted.

Flat_Earther June 27, 2011 at 4:29 pm

I suppose the best one can make of this is that she thinks she is living in a Western movie. That is only modestly better than praising a serial killer.

God, please let her get enough votes to stay in the race until the end. We need the humor.

riverside68 June 27, 2011 at 4:36 pm

I'm sorry, are there different states between Newark and Denver?

Is this like the Eskimos 40 names for snow?

WriteyWriterton June 27, 2011 at 5:10 pm

Hey, Mr./Ms. Riverside Drive, close your mouth, open your window, and look west.

riverside68 June 27, 2011 at 6:29 pm

I see Newark, what's the point?

You aren't one of those Iowa WriteyWriterton's are you? (I've heard rumors of Iowa writers writing about non-coastal things. Someday I will retire to Brooklyn where people still read, or so I'm told.)

WriteyWriterton June 28, 2011 at 12:04 am

May your doorman forget who you are. (Old Gramercy Park curse – went to Stuyvesant when it was on 15th between 1st and 2nd.)

riverside68 June 28, 2011 at 7:57 am

No need to get nasty, we were just have a polite chat.

Geeze if you are going to throw around curses like that, I'm closing my window!

(You have clearly done your time on the UWS.)

AJWjr. June 27, 2011 at 5:43 pm

Newark CA, or that other one?

riverside68 June 27, 2011 at 6:25 pm

I had heard that California had one of everything, it may be true.

tessiee June 28, 2011 at 12:00 am

"Newark CA, or that other one?"

I suppose you must be referring to Newark, Delaware?

WriteyWriterton June 27, 2011 at 4:37 pm

You're blanking on Larry Bloom.

littlebigdaddy June 27, 2011 at 4:40 pm

Absolutely right. Thanks WW! At this point (10:30 pm where I am, a couple of drinks downwind) I would have blanked on Barack Obama. But, yes, I met Larry Bloom once, and thought he was a smarmy douchebag.

WriteyWriterton June 27, 2011 at 4:43 pm

He fell prey to the Envelope De Cash, as I recall.

10:30 p.m. Hmmm…sounds like…Paris? Enviable.

littlebigdaddy June 27, 2011 at 4:48 pm

Austria. Quieter than Paris but much cheaper and with equally good wine!

WriteyWriterton June 27, 2011 at 4:54 pm

Austria – hmmm again…had an empire that didn't work out too well. And Freud and Hitler, amirite? And Baldy Waldheim. Must visit one day. Hear it's beautiful.

DerrickWildcat June 27, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Wayne is a very popular middle name for serial killers. It's probably a good idea not to give your Son or Daughter, Wayne, as a middle name…unless of course having your Son or Daughter grow up to be a serial killer is your goal.

LiveToServeYa June 27, 2011 at 4:40 pm

At last! Someone who can make Ron Paul look like a serious presidential candidate.

GOPCrusher June 27, 2011 at 4:44 pm

Well, we are talking about people that believe that Marxism and Facism are on the same end of the political spectrum.
Probably explains their failed attempts to compare President Obama to Hitler and Stalin.

GOPCrusher June 27, 2011 at 4:48 pm

Where are those millions of jobs that suppose to be created by extending the tax cuts? Where are those millions of jobs that were going to be created when the Bush Tax Cuts were enacted ten years ago?

GOPCrusher June 27, 2011 at 4:53 pm

The more humorous issue is the fact that she chose the most pro-union city in the state of Iowa. I have to imagine that they probably had to keep the actual location quiet, to prevent hundreds, if not thousands, of union members from showing up.
Republiklan candidates avoid Waterloo no matter what office they are running for.

MegPasadena June 27, 2011 at 4:54 pm

Great! First we have Newt with his dancing queen ring tone, now we have this.
I wonder what other ABBA songs would other GOP candidates find inspiring.
money, money, money?

HistoriCat June 27, 2011 at 5:08 pm

Probably not Fernando.

neiltheblaze June 27, 2011 at 4:54 pm

Next I suppose you're going to tell us that Lexington and Concord aren't in New Hampshire.

mathme June 27, 2011 at 5:05 pm

My morbid curiosity wants her to win. It's a small fraction of my over-all desire, but, come on… it would be something to see, that's for sure. She'd make Bush look like a friggin Rhodes scholar.

GOPCrusher June 27, 2011 at 5:29 pm

Longing for a planet ending nuclear holocaust?

mathme June 27, 2011 at 6:33 pm

No no, not exactly. If I could be in the role of a pure, disinterested observer, it would be interesting to watch. It's almost unimaginable what could really happen, the idiotic things she could do or say, etc. I'd like to be able to form a parallel universe where I could just see what would happen. As someone who has people he cares about living in this universe, though, I don't really want this to happen at all. I feel sort of like Bart, looking at the Happy Fun Slide lever in Burns's mansion, shrugging and asking, "Eh, when am I going to be back here again?" then pulling the lever.

ChessieNefercat June 27, 2011 at 7:16 pm

Tell you what. She always has, and always will, say and do psycho, idiotic things. No need to have her do this as president! 'kay?

mathme June 27, 2011 at 8:29 pm

Okay, but I'm sure there would be a scaling factor as president. I'll just put it at 1.75 + Nuclear Football and be content.

GOPCrusher June 27, 2011 at 5:16 pm

Maybe it's time for Pat Buchanan to throw his hat in the ring.

PristineODummy June 27, 2011 at 6:37 pm

George Pataki will do it instead.

lochnessmonster June 27, 2011 at 5:39 pm

We know that Gacy was gay, but didn't I read that Wayne was as well? Or am I mistaken?

PristineODummy June 27, 2011 at 5:46 pm

Gacy wasn't fussy. He raped men, too.

under_score June 27, 2011 at 5:53 pm

Can you stand on a curb, look west, and see LA?

Ohforcripessake June 27, 2011 at 6:00 pm

Well you know what? So long as she keeps that other sorry excuse for a female out of the news I'm all for it.

Doktor Zoom June 27, 2011 at 6:26 pm

It's a small world. Unless you're riding a bicycle with no seat.

PristineODummy June 27, 2011 at 6:43 pm

I thought it ended when the condoms fell apart. No?

FlyOverGirl June 27, 2011 at 6:47 pm

Bachmann/Palin: A New Argentina.

ChessieNefercat June 27, 2011 at 7:17 pm

Can I cry for me?

FlyOverGirl June 27, 2011 at 11:55 pm

What's new Buenos Iowa?

ChessieNefercat June 27, 2011 at 6:57 pm

I'm pretty sure he has eyes for Marcus, knows he will never be part of a decidedly odd threesome with them, and thus, spends his time here, trying to convince him/her/itself that we are the frustrating people in his life.

ChessieNefercat June 27, 2011 at 7:14 pm

"Later this week she’ll announce her run from a cornfield while standing next to a scarecrow."

Later this week she’ll announce her run from a cornfield while standing next to a another scarecrow.

Fixed.

glamourdammerung June 27, 2011 at 7:22 pm

I can hardly wait for Fox to cover for Bachmann with something like:

Some people say John Wayne Gacy was a horrible serial killer. Others say he was clowning around.

C_R_Eature June 27, 2011 at 7:29 pm

This is precisely the reason why clowns disturb me.

And, of course This: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NmbNOiOy1c

Doktor Zoom June 27, 2011 at 8:06 pm

Avec frottage?

Doktor Zoom June 27, 2011 at 8:07 pm

No, he Scottish.

ghblowhard June 27, 2011 at 8:26 pm

She probably met him when she was working on the Carter campaign

NYNYNYjr June 27, 2011 at 9:04 pm

Well I hope at least Chris Wallace has the decency to apologize for this. After all, his calling her a flake just compounds this, and other future errors she will make.

ttommyunger June 27, 2011 at 9:32 pm

Nice candid shot of Rush. One of his South American "Vacations" no doubt.

flamingpdog June 27, 2011 at 10:55 pm

At third base … number 69 … Michele Bachmann.

Oh great, now my white breeches are soiled.

Dr_pangloss June 27, 2011 at 11:00 pm

The Stupid it Burns!

Gacy was a JC in good standing in prison. This starts to make sense now.

tessiee June 27, 2011 at 11:36 pm

"Why does Bachmann love the freakish monster known in American nightmares as the Killer Clown?"

Because she thinks that the fact that Gacy existed proves that all homosexuals are psychotic murderers.

starfanglednut June 27, 2011 at 11:48 pm

*Parodies self…

Wait, there's states between NYC and California?

tessiee June 27, 2011 at 11:52 pm

Is "Henngh?" like "Hanh?", only with a sinus condition?

tessiee June 27, 2011 at 11:57 pm

"*cue ABBA* "

One of my favorite Simpsons moments:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kjp6oTETM7s

tessiee June 28, 2011 at 12:02 am

"Can you watch your dog run away from home for 3 days?"

Isn't this the inspiration for a whole sub-genre — sorry, I mean a right mess — of country-western songs?

tessiee June 28, 2011 at 12:52 am

Pictured: Justice Prosser instructs up-and-coming young judges on dealing with dissenting opinions.

NotMother June 28, 2011 at 5:50 pm

That’s ok, we’ll just rewrite the wiki article about John Wayne.

PsycWench June 27, 2011 at 3:00 pm

JWB is just so…detached.

Crank_Tango June 27, 2011 at 3:05 pm

yeah she definitely looks like she could chop a cock off…in mid-bj.

flamingpdog June 27, 2011 at 3:15 pm

Being Michele, she's probably mixing up John Wayne Bobbitt with another JWB, John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated President Gerald Ford with the swine flu in Lincoln's Theater during the Jimmy Carter Administration.

dr_giraud June 27, 2011 at 3:56 pm

That's hilarious.

A Distant Trumpet is by Raoul Walsh, though, not John Ford.

Rotundo_ June 27, 2011 at 5:48 pm

I suspect the director would laugh his ass off nowadays. You just have to love their dropping little bits of "authentic injun speech" like that into those films.

Doktor Zoom June 27, 2011 at 6:17 pm

Talk about rose-colored glasses! Wonkette has never had intelligent or articulate trolls.

starfanglednut June 27, 2011 at 11:33 pm

I agree. I miss Neilist. Its too bad he imploded. I hope he is well, sitting at home, lovingly stroking his guns…

Doktor Zoom June 27, 2011 at 6:33 pm

Dagnabbit. Now I'll never be president.

PristineODummy June 27, 2011 at 6:41 pm

Just like dreamy ol' Marcus.

Why does Marcus Bachmann set off all my GAYdar alarms at 12, when they're only supposed to hit 10, max?

Swampgas_Man June 27, 2011 at 7:14 pm

It can't be that insulting to call him gay if his avatar is a rainbow flag. Just sayin'.

Noman June 28, 2011 at 11:24 am

Thanks for the update. I guess things have changed since I worked on Market Street near the Mint. Polk was more upscale than Castro back then, but still quite gay. I guess the neighborhood is now ruined by breeders.

Swampgas_Man June 27, 2011 at 7:22 pm

More like bite it off, w/ a big toothy grin!

flamingpdog June 27, 2011 at 10:57 pm

Where were you from 2001-2009?

flamingpdog June 27, 2011 at 11:58 pm

Maybe we could just install her in a nice, big padded room with a big wooden desk, lots of American flags, and a red phone, and let her pretend to be President for eight years while we all watch through the one-way mirror. Discovery Channel? History Channel? BAT-shitcrazy Channel?

tessiee June 28, 2011 at 12:03 am

Are you perhaps Nigel Tufnel?

Noman June 28, 2011 at 11:27 am

"If you're going to try to "Out Batshit Crazy" moi…"

There is only one person with whom each of us should compete.

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