she loves murder clowns

Michele Bachmann Launches 2012 Presidential Campaign By Praising ‘Killer Clown’ John Wayne Gacy

Michele Bachmann really respects John Wayne Gacy's American Values.Ridiculous clown Michele Bachmann officially launched her 2012 presidential campaign today in Waterloo, Iowa — where she paid tribute to another clown from this small Iowa town, psychopathic homosexual serial killer John Wayne Gacy. Why does Bachmann love the freakish monster known in American nightmares as the Killer Clown? Maybe because John Wayne Gacy loved dressing up as a circus clown and being around lots of kids, just like Bachmann! Really, this is what she said, except she apparently thinks the “John Wayne” from Waterloo, Iowa, is the iconic Western movie performer. Let’s roll the video from Fox News, and laugh together.

If it’s not funny enough that Michele Bachmann is running for president, and that she’s a crazy person who cannot stop the different voices in her head, and that she’s actually launching her campaign in a place called Waterloo, then we should all thank the Comedy Gods that she also told a teevee news reporter how much she loves “John Wayne,” perhaps the most famous (infamous?) person to even call Waterloo home:

The actor later known as John Wayne was actually born in Winterset, Iowa. [Via Mike Riggs]

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321 comments

        1. FNMA

          Don't know about that. The way she's gone through kids, you could probably fit a couple dozen Cub Scouts down there.

        2. PristineODummy

          She pops babies like a salad shooter pops greens. I'm guessing you could toss a couple of bollards in there at this point. "Crawlspace," her ass. More like a swimspace.

      1. PristineODummy

        Does anybody know why she specified "girls only"? Seems like a nice Christian lady wouldn't discriminate that way. Was she worried that Marcus "LightLoafers" HubbyMann would jump boys' tender little behinds?

      1. bumfug

        Bachmann was probably more pissed about Gacy being a democrat than about him rape-murdering kids.

      2. SorosBot

        Remember that words have meanings; someone who met a celebrity once and had their picture taken with them is not a friend.

        Maybe you'd understand the meaning of the word "friend" if you actually had some.

      3. Bigger than Rod

        Yes, this explains the party's pro-serial killer position!

        What is your comment supposed to prove anyway? The senselessness of it makes it idiotic to use this as any rational argument. There are equivalent examples of this type of thing on the Con side. You, sir, are cowardly, low-end, little turd of a troll. It's not difficult to find fault with Democrat policies, but if you think Republicans are any 'better' than them you clearly have bigger problems.

        1. tessiee

          I think you may be giving him credit for too much, and too complex, thought.
          My take on his posting here is, "Baby wants attention".

    1. Doktor Zoom

      Hey, that's totally unfair. Gacy was only a child-raping serial killer. You're thinking of Dahmer, who was a child-raping serial killer cannibal.

      1. iburl

        And John Wayne (i.e.. Marion Robert Morrison) was only a serial killer of minorities, in the movies.

        1. Lascauxcaveman

          Most of those times, when he was shooting Indians off their horses? Totally faked; hardly anyone was actually killed.

          And a lot of the time? Not even real Indians.

          1. Doktor Zoom

            On the up side, in several movies, Navajo extras would substitute their own creative dialogue, which directors were utterly unaware of. Here's an example from John Ford's "A Distant Trumpet," in the documentary Reel Injun. There's also scene in one of Tony Hillerman's novels where a drive-in on the Rez is showing Ford's "Cheyenne Autumn" to the appreciative laughter of the Navajo audience–the "Cheyenne" dialogue was actually Navajo, mostly bawdy, and almost all insulting commentary on whites.

          2. Rotundo_

            I suspect the director would laugh his ass off nowadays. You just have to love their dropping little bits of "authentic injun speech" like that into those films.

      2. Goonemeritus

        My sincerest apologies to Mr. Gacy’s good name. This would not have happened if I watched Fox news instead of PBS. I find The News Hour always skimps on the details of serial killing.

    1. mourningnmerica

      It doesn't matter, they're both Real America. God bless John Wayne, and Ethanol, and Jobs, and Ringin' Those Bells, and Died For Our Sins, and Drill Baby Drill, and oh, heck…

      1. finallyhappy

        The Machine Shed giant sweet rolls, John Deere Headquarters- Iowa- it's everything

    1. guangho

      And now he is dead. Why do we hate small business? Why do we literally kill efforts at job creation?

      1. PristineODummy

        More of the latter, I think, or they wouldn't all have wussed out and DIED on him. Poor, lonely Johnny.

    1. flamingpdog

      No, no, no, even LouSarahP could tell you that Waterloo is where Wellington beat his Bone Apart.

    1. Noman

      ….because of his extensive service to the Democratic Party in the Chicago area, as detailed the post by Pres[Exterminate] below.

      1. SorosBot

        Named after a guy who liked to run around with toy guns pretending to be a soldier while real soldiers were actually fighting in the real world, and who died because he was part of a project that just decided to stick their heads in the sand and ignore very real environmental hazards that ended up killing most of the people involved; he was a perfect symbol of the the GOP.

          1. PristineODummy

            See, here's what's wrong with all you libunatics. You keep thinking "mandate" is a word. A single word. It's not.

            It's "man date." We settled for Ronald Raygun and he fucked our collective ass so bad we may never walk again.

    2. GOPCrusher

      Probably the same reason my luggage gets lost whenever I fly into Reagan National Airport.

  1. hooray4anything

    It's already made Politico and a bunch of other sites so expect her to go on the Hannity show real soon and talk about how John Wayne (the real one) would often visit there to warn folks about Socialism and there to be a big fight on Wikipedia where her supporters try and change Wayne's place of birth.

    1. PsycWench

      Don't forget how John Wayne and John Wayne Gacy worked tirelessly together to end slavery.

    2. MegPasadena

      Did he warn the town folks while riding his horse, ringing those bells and firing those shots?

    1. hooray4anything

      It's a good voting bloc to go after as I'm pretty sure Bachmann doesn't know how magnets work either

  2. Noman

    That's false.

    Dear Leader said he visited 57 states, skipped two, and still had one state to visit.

    57 states visited, plus two states skipped, plus one more state = 60 states.

    You are going to have to know this stuff when you are sent to a Obama Re-education Camp.

          1. GOPCrusher

            I miss the days when trolls could at least communicate in a somewhat intellectual basis.
            I blame the No Child Left Behind education system.

          2. Doktor Zoom

            Talk about rose-colored glasses! Wonkette has never had intelligent or articulate trolls.

          3. ChessieNefercat

            No, not really. If he were cute, he wouldn't spend all his time frustratedly fapping away to people with whom he has nothing in common.

    1. riverside68

      Dude, you totally left out the part about 60 being the number of Islamic states in the world!

      Come on, if you're going off the end, go all the way, don't be a pussy about it; you end up looking like liberal santorium.

        1. riverside68

          ahh, did you notice that I use liberal as a derogatory adjective?

          It's not like you are going to convince anyone here, so come out of the closet and stand with your mates: Isn't it true that Dear Leader's slip was a reference to Islamic states?

          (Or are you drawing the line at not knowing the number of states in the US? In which case my liberal slur stands: someone without the courage of their convictions, or, in some cases, someone who knows how much they don't know, but that couldn't apply to you, right?)

  3. Mumbletypeg

    Is there a word for this, these things, coming out of her mouth, so stupefyingly ridiculous? I am out of words and snark. Bachmann drivel is toxic; she's a stealth serial snark killer. Murder most foul.

    1. Geminisunmars

      It's not just the crap coming out of her mouth, but wtf is going into the ears and "brains" of her supporters?

    2. lochnessmonster

      I call it circular speak. I don't know but I think there might be a college course. It's the way Sarah Mama Grizzly Bear Lipstick on a Pitbull Palin speaks also too!

    3. Swampgas_Man

      "Stupidity" comes to mind. Nevermind that it's a way of life for some repugs; she's just better and louder w/ it than some folks.

  4. Eve8Apples

    Every comedian and comedy writer in America fell to their knees and praised Jesus, God, Allah and Buddha the moment that goofy bitch entered the presidential race.

    1. Amo_of_Bogio

      She also said the following: "And it is made up of Americans from all walks of life like a three-legged stool. It's the peace through strength Republicans, and I'm one of them, it's fiscal conservatives, and I'm one of them, and it's social conservatives, and I'm one of them. It's the Tea Party movement and I'm one of them."
      …now I'm not a stool expert, but I think she just counted four legs on her three legged stool of the people.

    2. GOPCrusher

      But, by the end of the year, santorum will be on the lips of every young Republiklan.

      1. PristineODummy

        I'm secretly (secretely?) in love with that line and promulgating it at every opportunity.

  5. freakishlywrong

    The fact that this utter flake/clown is even allowed to run for the highest office in the land screams "Murican Septionalizm". The fact that "journalists" have to interview her with a straight face, (and won't push back on her bullshit), would be fun to watch if the consequences weren't so tragic.

    1. proudgrampa

      I thought Bob Schieffer did a decent job of calling her out on her non-answers during Face the Nation yesterday.

      1. freakishlywrong

        Except, he thanked her for out and out lying; he should have dis-invited her from ever appearing again.

      2. hooray4anything

        Chris Wallace went after her too but had to apologize later when the Corporate Overlords had to explain to him what his job at FOX was.

    1. PristineODummy

      But he wasn't a Vaginal-American, no matter how much he might have sounded like one.

  6. Clancy_Pants

    Honest mistake, Winterset, Waterloo… Only 160 miles apart. Well 160 miles of endless cornfield soybean hell! You could drive it in a day but I wouldn't recommend it.

    1. riverside68

      But it is 160 miles of absolute flat. So flat, in fact, that the Flat Earth Society uses it to refute the round earth theory.

      1. under_score

        Nuh-uh, try the 125 miles of interstate(intrastate) between Amarillo and Lubbock if you want to see flat. Then we'll talk. You'll long for the scenic cornfields.

  7. EatsBabyDingos

    Bachmann-[anybody with a pulse] 2012: Making the Armegeddon seem like a good idea..

    Bachmann-Palin 2012: A Pack of Lips Now.

    Bachmann-Robertson 2012: OK, now you are just Pissing God Off.

    1. hooray4anything

      My money's on Romney-Bachmann: she'll bring in the Tea Bagger vote and make the Born Agains look past his Mormonism. As for the rest of us, we'll be crying ourselves to sleep

    2. mourningnmerica

      Bachmann / Belushi 2012: Sell Me Your Children

      Palin / Gingrich 2012: You Complete Me

      Mittens / Huntsman 2012: Utah, Bitch

      Cain / Thomas 2012: Step…And Fetch It

      Trump / santorum 2012: (your slogan here)

    1. Doktor Zoom

      And not a word about teleprompterz. I think the poor boy is off his game today.

      I'm especially impressed that he seems to think we're disputing that Obama said it–not that it was a trivial verbal slip–and that he honestly doesn't seem to recognize the difference between a slip of the tongue and planned remarks that praise the wrong fucking Concord as the location of the American Revolution's first battle.

      1. tessiee

        To say nothing of the way Palin, Reagan, et. al., *repeat* the same lies, even after they're repeatedly corrected, shown the videotape where they're saying whatever they denied they said, etc.
        There are mistakes, and then there's *aggressive* stupidity.

  8. iburl

    She is also a big Fan of Lee Harvey's AM Radio broadcasts and Sirhan Sirhan's Rio Album.

  9. baconzgood

    Funny. I thought if anyone had all facts of america's most notorious serial killers tattooed to memory it would be her.

    1. Swampgas_Man

      After all, he did such great work w/ young people, and reduced the teh Gai locally.

      1. Doktor Zoom

        Other Dahmer hits:

        "I've got Hugh under my skin"

        "I left Mike's heart behind the Crisco"

        "Is this the little boy I curried…?"

    1. ChessieNefercat

      Aw, come on, isn't it better than listening to Palin, or Bachmann?

      At least the sound of ABBA doesn't make puppies piddle, birds fall out of the sky, cats run into walls, and cows tip over.

  10. Come here a minute

    The press would be irresponsible to quote her on this, after her office issues a press release explaining that this was not intended to be a factual statement.

    1. genxr

      Waterloo is where Bill and Ted found Napoleon and brought him back in time for their history report.

    2. bflrtsplk

      C'mon man. Napoleon surrendered at Waterloo, Texas, just before or maybe after the Alamo.

  11. PeaceWithHonor

    I'm getting pretty excited for the Romney/Bachmann ticket–the political equivalent of the mullet. Mormon in the front, crazy in the rear.

    1. Rotundo_

      If it were still open, She could go to Ambrosia chocolates (where Jeffy worked between dining on skinny kids) and smile warmly as she says "I've always admired cholocate workers like Jeff Dahmer, who was on the always pushing the culinary envelope".

  12. weejee

    MB has caught the ghey? See how fast it happens!!1!! NY passes the marriage bill & snick snatch snack, Michele Bachmann has landed on the shores of the Isle of Lesbos.

  13. johnnymeatworth

    When she comes through Texas she can pay tribute to that great American hero known as Leatherface.

  14. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Don't be so harsh. Of course she praised Mr. Gacy. After all, he never asked for a government handout once. And he took all those young boys off of the welfare rolls. Plus he liked to dress up.

    John Wayne Gacy was a 'bagger before they had a black president to get mad at.

  15. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Plus, now, Bachmann's make up and weird address to no camera in particular on behalf of the Tea Party makes so much more sense.

  16. littlebigdaddy

    Yeah, come to think of it JWG was creepily photogenic and capable of holding people in thrall. Coincidence?

    1. zhubajie

      He was a member of the Junior Chamber of Commerce! Even founded a Joliet State Prison branch!

  17. Steverino247

    The only way to make this better would have been for her to have made the statement on June 18th, the 196st anniversary of the Battle of Waterloo.

    (Never been to Waterloo, Iowa, but I have been to Waterloo, Belgium. Had to point at what I wanted to eat, though, as apparently "Cheeseburger" is pronounced very differently there, despite being spelled the same.)

    1. littlebigdaddy

      Oh, that is some ridiculous power trip that francophones amuse themselves with. I have studied French most my life, lived in France on two occasions, publicly lectured in French, and still get the pretend incomprehension. On the other hand, I am now living in a German speaking country, speak very rudimentary German, and have never had anyone do that.

      1. Steverino247

        My wife picked up the local German dialect when we lived there, but I could never understand why they didn't sound like my high school and college German classes.

        I once struggled with two Parisian police officers to find a camp ground until I showed them "camping=camping" in my dictionary. Oh, Kam PEENG! they said and pointed me the right direction.

      1. mourningnmerica

        All right !!! Shakes the Clown reference. If any Wonketteer has NOT seen the movie "Shakes the Clown" starring the incomparable Bobcat Goldthwait, stop what you are doing, and rent it NOW. One of the best movies evar. Trust me on this. Just do it.

        1. Rotundo_

          It's on Hulu for free if you don't mind the ads. The wake-up sequence is pure crystalline humor.

  18. hooray4anything

    What, you're expecting anyone associated with that campaign to know any European history? It's not even obvious they know American history

  19. BaldarTFlagass

    If she really wants to remind us of how much she resembles John Wayne, maybe she could start smoking 4 packs a day and die of cancer.

  20. cheetojeebus

    I hear she makes a fabulous fava bean salad. It's a great side for her "Hot Dish" with it's surprise meat filling. Yummm!!!!

    1. PristineODummy

      Has anyone checked on her "foster children" of late? Are they all OK? No missing bits?

    1. littlebigdaddy

      Who can trust someone named "Matt Taibbi" anyway? And what is his relationship to Matt Bai?

  21. Tundra Grifter

    Don't miss Bob Schieffer's interview of Ole Crazy Eyes ("Face the Nation") Sunday, June 26th. Time after time she refused to answer basic questions. The oddest thing was, she didn't seem to know she was dodging an ducking. She was so unaware.

    Meanwhile, Waterloo, indeed…

  22. smitallica

    C'mon, let's not split hairs. When she said John Wayne was from Waterloo, IA she probably meant to say Winterset, IA, which is where he's from. Just like when she says she's against big government and taxes, she probably meant to say she was once a lawyer for the IRS who went after delinquent taxpayers, and supported the Patriot Act, which is what she actually did. Shades of gray, people.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      Or when she explained that when she said we need to investigate whether members of Congress are anti-American, she didn't really mean that we should investigate whether members of Congress are anti-American.

    1. WriteyWriterton

      Why, yes, Noman, thank you for noticing. Blago is a Democrat.

      We're very proud of all our criminal Democratic Governors here at Wonkette. We Democrats elect criminals whenever we can. In fact, we only elect criminals to public office. Especially war criminals.

      Best,

      Writey

        1. WriteyWriterton

          And the last Governor we sent to prison was a Republican. We have an equal opportunity US Attorney's office here. It's the one run by the guy who convicted Scooter Libby.

      1. GOPCrusher

        If he was Republiklan, his name would be mentioned as a possible front runner for the Presidential Republiklan Candidate.

      2. tessiee

        "We Democrats elect criminals whenever we can. In fact, we only elect criminals to public office. Especially war criminals."

        Also, we make doughnuts out of aborted babbys.
        Just sayin'.

    2. Karma_Suture

      You really need some confirmation don't you.?

      Wipe the spittle off your chin will you? It's distracting.

    3. elviouslyqueer

      Right, "Noman." Because Republican governors would never ever ever be caught doing anything improper, unethical, or illegal. Oh, wait.

      1. finallyhappy

        But we know that doing illegal immoral things are the GOP way -so when they do it, it is ok.

  23. ChessieNefercat

    And Marie Antoinette's palace is in Versailles, Kentucky.
    And so many pyramids can be found near Memphis, Tennessee.

    Goodness, America is exceptional. Who needs the rest of the world any more?

    1. Doktor Zoom

      Did I forget to mention, to mention Memphis
      Home of Elvis and the ancient greeks ….

  24. axmxz

    People know that she has 23 foster children; what they don't know is that they're not the same children year to year.

  25. El Pinche

    I guess you libupsychocommiesocialunatics don't see the genius of Bachmann and the demographics she's going for.

    What white conservative christian male doesn't have crowded crawl space and/or collection of pre-teen boy shoes?

    1. Doktor Zoom

      The fist thing I scanned in your new portmanteau was "chocommie." Mmmm. Chocolate communism.

    1. ChessieNefercat

      No, he didn't, but every time they hear the word "stimulus" they picture whatever is a very personal stimulus to their own fappity self and get totally distracted.

  26. Flat_Earther

    I suppose the best one can make of this is that she thinks she is living in a Western movie. That is only modestly better than praising a serial killer.

    God, please let her get enough votes to stay in the race until the end. We need the humor.

  27. riverside68

    I'm sorry, are there different states between Newark and Denver?

    Is this like the Eskimos 40 names for snow?

    1. WriteyWriterton

      Hey, Mr./Ms. Riverside Drive, close your mouth, open your window, and look west.

      1. riverside68

        I see Newark, what's the point?

        You aren't one of those Iowa WriteyWriterton's are you? (I've heard rumors of Iowa writers writing about non-coastal things. Someday I will retire to Brooklyn where people still read, or so I'm told.)

        1. WriteyWriterton

          May your doorman forget who you are. (Old Gramercy Park curse – went to Stuyvesant when it was on 15th between 1st and 2nd.)

          1. riverside68

            No need to get nasty, we were just have a polite chat.

            Geeze if you are going to throw around curses like that, I'm closing my window!

            (You have clearly done your time on the UWS.)

    1. littlebigdaddy

      Absolutely right. Thanks WW! At this point (10:30 pm where I am, a couple of drinks downwind) I would have blanked on Barack Obama. But, yes, I met Larry Bloom once, and thought he was a smarmy douchebag.

      1. WriteyWriterton

        He fell prey to the Envelope De Cash, as I recall.

        10:30 p.m. Hmmm…sounds like…Paris? Enviable.

          1. WriteyWriterton

            Austria – hmmm again…had an empire that didn't work out too well. And Freud and Hitler, amirite? And Baldy Waldheim. Must visit one day. Hear it's beautiful.

  28. DerrickWildcat

    Wayne is a very popular middle name for serial killers. It's probably a good idea not to give your Son or Daughter, Wayne, as a middle name…unless of course having your Son or Daughter grow up to be a serial killer is your goal.

  29. LiveToServeYa

    At last! Someone who can make Ron Paul look like a serious presidential candidate.

  30. GOPCrusher

    Well, we are talking about people that believe that Marxism and Facism are on the same end of the political spectrum.
    Probably explains their failed attempts to compare President Obama to Hitler and Stalin.

  31. GOPCrusher

    Where are those millions of jobs that suppose to be created by extending the tax cuts? Where are those millions of jobs that were going to be created when the Bush Tax Cuts were enacted ten years ago?

  32. GOPCrusher

    The more humorous issue is the fact that she chose the most pro-union city in the state of Iowa. I have to imagine that they probably had to keep the actual location quiet, to prevent hundreds, if not thousands, of union members from showing up.
    Republiklan candidates avoid Waterloo no matter what office they are running for.

  33. MegPasadena

    Great! First we have Newt with his dancing queen ring tone, now we have this.
    I wonder what other ABBA songs would other GOP candidates find inspiring.
    money, money, money?

  34. neiltheblaze

    Next I suppose you're going to tell us that Lexington and Concord aren't in New Hampshire.

  35. mathme

    My morbid curiosity wants her to win. It's a small fraction of my over-all desire, but, come on… it would be something to see, that's for sure. She'd make Bush look like a friggin Rhodes scholar.

      1. mathme

        No no, not exactly. If I could be in the role of a pure, disinterested observer, it would be interesting to watch. It's almost unimaginable what could really happen, the idiotic things she could do or say, etc. I'd like to be able to form a parallel universe where I could just see what would happen. As someone who has people he cares about living in this universe, though, I don't really want this to happen at all. I feel sort of like Bart, looking at the Happy Fun Slide lever in Burns's mansion, shrugging and asking, "Eh, when am I going to be back here again?" then pulling the lever.

        1. ChessieNefercat

          Tell you what. She always has, and always will, say and do psycho, idiotic things. No need to have her do this as president! 'kay?

          1. mathme

            Okay, but I'm sure there would be a scaling factor as president. I'll just put it at 1.75 + Nuclear Football and be content.

          2. flamingpdog

            Maybe we could just install her in a nice, big padded room with a big wooden desk, lots of American flags, and a red phone, and let her pretend to be President for eight years while we all watch through the one-way mirror. Discovery Channel? History Channel? BAT-shitcrazy Channel?

  36. lochnessmonster

    We know that Gacy was gay, but didn't I read that Wayne was as well? Or am I mistaken?

  37. Ohforcripessake

    Well you know what? So long as she keeps that other sorry excuse for a female out of the news I'm all for it.

  38. ChessieNefercat

    I'm pretty sure he has eyes for Marcus, knows he will never be part of a decidedly odd threesome with them, and thus, spends his time here, trying to convince him/her/itself that we are the frustrating people in his life.

  39. ChessieNefercat

    "Later this week she’ll announce her run from a cornfield while standing next to a scarecrow."

    Later this week she’ll announce her run from a cornfield while standing next to a another scarecrow.

    Fixed.

  40. glamourdammerung

    I can hardly wait for Fox to cover for Bachmann with something like:

    Some people say John Wayne Gacy was a horrible serial killer. Others say he was clowning around.

  41. NYNYNYjr

    Well I hope at least Chris Wallace has the decency to apologize for this. After all, his calling her a flake just compounds this, and other future errors she will make.

  42. flamingpdog

    At third base … number 69 … Michele Bachmann.

    Oh great, now my white breeches are soiled.

  43. tessiee

    "Why does Bachmann love the freakish monster known in American nightmares as the Killer Clown?"

    Because she thinks that the fact that Gacy existed proves that all homosexuals are psychotic murderers.

  44. tessiee

    "Can you watch your dog run away from home for 3 days?"

    Isn't this the inspiration for a whole sub-genre — sorry, I mean a right mess — of country-western songs?

  45. tessiee

    Pictured: Justice Prosser instructs up-and-coming young judges on dealing with dissenting opinions.

  46. flamingpdog

    Being Michele, she's probably mixing up John Wayne Bobbitt with another JWB, John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated President Gerald Ford with the swine flu in Lincoln's Theater during the Jimmy Carter Administration.

  47. PristineODummy

    Just like dreamy ol' Marcus.

    Why does Marcus Bachmann set off all my GAYdar alarms at 12, when they're only supposed to hit 10, max?

  48. Swampgas_Man

    It can't be that insulting to call him gay if his avatar is a rainbow flag. Just sayin'.

  49. Noman

    Thanks for the update. I guess things have changed since I worked on Market Street near the Mint. Polk was more upscale than Castro back then, but still quite gay. I guess the neighborhood is now ruined by breeders.

Comments are closed.