Hey, did you hear that Ron Paul — lifelong libertarian and opponent of the Drug War — has sponsored some federal legislation to end the marijuana prohibition? To CNN’s challenged cable-news hosts, this is shocking news, that a lifelong opponent of the Drug War would still be just like that.

Here’s what the guest host on whatever CNN show said last night:

“Ron Paul legalizing marijuana. Go figure on that one.”

Yeah, what’s with people doing what they do? Uhh. Anyway, and then this Drug War Propagandist from the Clinton/Bush Jr. drug war Drug Czar team showed up to whine at Tommy Chong, who was put in prison because he made comedy movies about getting high, which is fun.

From this CNN program:

CHONG: Listen, the kids die — more kids die from obesity, from alcohol use, from traffic accidents. How many people have died from marijuana? Tell me.

CHABOT: Tommy, look, two wrongs do not make a right.

CHONG: Where’s the wrong here? No one died from marijuana.

CHABOT: Tommy, listen.

CHONG: Where is the wrong here?

CHABOT: First off, my heart goes out to you because you’re an addict. You’ve got a marijuana addiction.

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  • Barb

    It's reefer madness!

    • DaRooster

      "Play faster… hee hee… faster… FASTER!!"

  • I'm also addicted to boobies

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Boobies are a gateway drug, so to speak.

      • user-of-owls

        I am pretty sure the gateway is in the Southern Equator, not the Northern one.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Gateway to the gateway, yeah.

      • horsedreamer_1

        If the addiction develops into a strip-club habit, cocaine can follow. So, true.

    • BornInATrailer

      Family Guy quote ahoy!

    • Steverino247

      I've been sucking on them since birth. (Different ones, of course)

    • Whatever


    • Beck_is_Trig

      Booby addiction is a gateway to vagina…then vagina moves on to other things until one day you wake up in a ditch, with a magazine showing Vida Guerra's (goddamn you wonkette for distracting me with her nude biting a pepper) voluptuous butt outside a cheap hotel where you just had sex with two or three women and that's when it hits you: I've got a problem and only Jesus can solve it….haha, just kidding, that's where closet gays go for their "problem"…porn on ya pervert!

    • Beowoof

      Is there a program to help cope with this addition. I think repeated exposure over a long time would be a way to fight this addiction. I am one willing to undergo this rigorous thearpy for years if it takes that long. And it will take that long.

    • user-of-owls

      Here's a fix for ya! A highly relevant fix, in fact. (Warning: Pasty Pixels Presented!)

  • nounverb911

    Chabot's theories are "Up in Smoke".

  • SexySmurf

    This Chabot idiot is so uptight about weed, you know one day the cops are going to find him in an airport bathroom eating a bag of Funyuns while trying to synch up The Wizard of Oz with Pink Floyd.

    • I'm guessing Birth of a Nation with Miley Cyrus while he masturbates furiously into children's underwear.

  • freakishlywrong

    Do people really still care about pot?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Mexican drug lords care very much. Which is the whole (and sole) problem.

      • HistoriCat

        How many people can just come out and say, "yeah what I was doing was a complete waste of time. None of what we were working on did any damn good."?

        • horsedreamer_1

          Robert Mc Namara?

          • HistoriCat

            And it only took him 30 years!

          • Haha. A+++. Would upfist again.

    • emmelemm

      Only the stupid ones.

    • prommie

      I care. I care deeply. Nothing is worse than a dry spell.

      • Doktor Zoom

        Dope will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no dope.

        –Fat Freddy Freak

        • prommie

          Reality is for people who can't handle drugs.

    • Tommmcattt

      I care when I run out…

      • prommie

        I am led to understand that the most common reason people are prescribed medical marijuana is anxiety. Anxiety about running out of marijuana.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Well, my kid's inside for four months, so, yeah, I guess.

  • nounverb911

    Is Grover Norquist for or against taxing pot?

    • horsedreamer_1


    • ShaveTheWhales

      He's for drowning it in large bong.

  • CarnyTrash

    Here is an example: A fifteen-year-old lad apprehended in the act of staging a holdup – fifteen years old and a marijuana addict. Here is a most tragic case. Just a young boy… under the influence of marijuana killed his entire family with an axe.

    • nounverb911

      So? Lizzie Borden didn't use pot and she axed her family.

      • Cicada

        Axed them what?


        • GregComlish

          The victims were first struck and grievously wounded by Axe Body Spray. Autopsies revealed that they lived through the Axe attack and were later killed by blunt trauma. They were D-bagged to death.

    • CarnyTrash

      I was, in fact, quoting the ludicrous, vintage drug-scare film "Reefer Madness".

      • Nothingisamiss

        Knew instantly, due to it being Wonkette. Now gawker…..

      • PristineODummy

        I thought I remembered that.

    • sarjo

      A young mother–again, a truly tragic case–just celebrated her daughter's first birthday. Loving husband, lovely home. A marijuana addict. Started with "prescription" marijuana, she could not stop. Just this wonderful young woman…high on marijuana, she castrated her husband and kicked the dog. A lovely poodle.

    • HistoriCat
      • proudgrampa

        I've never been able to forget Bill and Mary…

        HA HA HA!!!!!

    • flamingpdog

      This a job for AXE COP!

      • Doktor Zoom

        ALL THE WEAPONS!!!!!

  • Eff Chabot.

    Up with Chobot!

  • BarackMyWorld

    See, here's how it works…
    People smoke up and get the munchies.
    On their way to Taco Bell, the smoker gets killed by an overweight drunk driver who's texting.
    If it weren't for pot, they'd still be alive.
    Therefore, marijuana is dangerous.

    • PsycWench

      Think of all the innocent pizzas and Tootsie rolls that might still be alive today if PsycWench no one had discovered pot.

      • flamingpdog

        But think of all the jobs lost at Nabisco if no one ever ate Chips Ahoys.

      • Fare la Volpe

        I knew my psych profs were puffing the magic dragon back in the lab.

        Don't be stingy. Puff puff give.

    • PristineODummy

      See? If they were smart, they would've ordered in. Or had the help make them homemade pizza with a nice chevre, thinly sliced chives, a pinch of hand-harvested pink peppercorns, and a chilled,light, fruity white to wash it down.

    • horsedreamer_1

      This is why Jimmy John's delivers.

      … Oh, wait, the driver's prolly high, too. Shit.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Just look at what those stoned Vancouver Canucks fans did! Violent potheads, all of 'em.

    • PristineODummy

      That's what happens when you get between a pothead and their munchies. Right?

  • metamarcisf

    I once tried to win a chess tournament while stoned but all I managed to do was set the garbage can on fire. Tragic? You decide.

    • flamingpdog

      Meta, you have the same negative P as I have positive P. Congratulations! Now please go kiss and make up with Teitfart so our P can grow in unison (but in opposite directions).

    • Nothingisamiss

      Meta, you have unplumbed (one assumes?) depths!

  • edgydrifter

    Marijuana = ethnic-ish name, shadowy cartels, scaaaaaaaaaary.
    Cymlexalofticontin = perfectly legit–nothing you need to worry about, citizen.

    • HistoriCat

      Only if you can get it in pill form and charge $120 for a prescription.

  • gullywompr

    Somebody was condescending to Tommy Chong regarding his stance on national drug policy? Unbelieveable.

    I know, I know – I get no P's on this one…

  • horsedreamer_1

    Here's an idea for CNN: Spitzer Chong — "One spills his seed, the other makes sure he doesn't".

  • user-of-owls
    • poncho_pilot

      that's truly awesome. i have been negligent in regards to The Tubes. all i'd ever heard was She's A Beauty.

      • GOPCrusher

        I weep for you.

      • ShaveTheWhales

        WPOD must be the iconic Tubes tune. Well, except for Whaddya Want from Life. Or the others.

        WPOD usually got the maximal crowd response, anyhow.

  • Cicada

    Legislation to legalize marijuana? What a blow to our very successful and efficient War On Drugs. We're just about to turn a corner…any day now…

    • HobbesEvilTwin

      just another Friedman or two….

    • Crank_Tango

      Don't worry, we are not about to cut and run now!

    • Is it Surge™ Time yet?

      • horsedreamer_1

        Caffeine is a drug. An amazing, delicious drug.

    • Doktor Zoom

      We can see the light at the end of the tunnel…oh, sorry, that's just somebody sparking up.

  • chascates

    The War on Drugs has been as successful as the War on Terror but even more costly. We have the highest rate of incarceration in the civilized world, cartel-controlled countries on our southern border, and the last three Presidents have all used drugs.

    To say alcohol is legal and we can't repeat the problems we've had with it betrays both the history of Prohibition and the vast difference between the effects of the two.

    • Also the fact that it's human nature (and even animal nature!) to ingest substances for the purpose of recreation. Does it really matter which substance?

      But anyway, let's check on how that War on Arabs is going… uh oh… oh no… wha? wha? Guess that one will never end either.

      • Crank_Tango

        oddly enough they managed to give up on the war on poverty and switch it to a war on the poor. weird, isn't it?

    • horsedreamer_1

      Not just our Southern border. The Taliban is a drug-cartel, too.

      • Grief_Lessons

        Are you implying the Taliban is at the northern border? Is there something that Wonkette's Canadian Correspondant should be telling us?

        • GunToting[Redacted]

          Notice that we have not heard from him in months… Stoned, or turned?

          • PristineODummy

            Wut's wrong wiv bofe? You *do* know that the Taliban smoke plenty hashish, right?

    • Giveusabob

      Indeed, and I especially savor the fact we've spent $20Billion to date on a 'Drug War', that has finally accomplished a successful diagnosis of Tommy Chong's pot addiction. Because no way anyone could've guessed that one in the 70's, for free.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Drugs! Drugs! Drugs! What about the children?! Drugs!

    That's pretty much the entirety of the anti-weed side. Unless there's something new, but I haven't heard it.

    Seriously though — don't smoke it if you're underage, and especially if you have a history or a family history of schizophrenia, because studies have shown that you're more likely to develop schizophrenia under those conditions than someone who doesn't smoke weed. Other than that, though, the hysterical ninnies got nothing.

    • flamingpdog

      And, ironically, what are schizophrenics historically prone to smoking because it helps calm them – tobacco.

    • PristineODummy

      Well, it *is* going to make you eat your way through multiple caloriefests of truly awful food. I mean, Chips Ahoy?

      • flamingpdog

        It's the sugar, sugar.

        • PristineODummy

          It is? (looks around furtively at multiple giant empty potato-crisp bags). Whatever you say, baybay.

  • sarjo

    Too late, SorosBot. The pain and suffering have been inflicted. I hope you're happy now!

    • Crank_Tango

      in northern california, a man, aged 40, a marijuana addict, accidentally downfisted someone because his snark detector was not working properly….it's a crying shame.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        A 52-year-old federal employee, also a marijuana addict, posted twice on his favorite political blog. What an embarassment!!

        • Doktor Zoom

          Further investigation showed that the IntenseDebate comments system was hopped up on goofballs.

  • SorosBot

    Chabot's supposed to be a drug expert; he should know that there's no such thing as a marijuana addiction, because it's non-addictive. Dumbass.

    Here's some info for him:–yrWQc

    • zhubajie

      Anyone can claim to be an expert!

  • lulzmonger

    My heart goes out to Chabot, he's obviously got a drug-war addiction.

    The mere idea of losing the bulk of his his sacred-cash-cow has him jonesing like a motherfucker.

    Courage, brother! Perhaps you can still learn a useful skill & get clean … before it's too late!

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Tommy Chong does have an addiction to Pot. An addiction that has made him millions of dollars.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    People say, ‘What if a young person tries marijuana?’ Then a young person would laugh at Scooby Doo.

    –Greg Proops.

    • AngryGeometer

      "Look, all I'm saying is if you still wanna smoke pot then be prepared to spend a lot of time laughing with your friends." — Strangers with Candy

  • So Chabot is a weed-wacker?

  • HobbesEvilTwin

    Ron Paul doesn't want the government in your bongwater, but he's fine with government getting in your uterus.

    • horsedreamer_1

      He just wants to smoke the amniotic fluid. Now, that's — that's a real high.

      • poncho_pilot

        especially if the donor lives near Bhopal.

      • Jason_inthe_Peg

        Amniotic fluid makes the pineal gland seem like sniffing glue man.

        • horsedreamer_1

          "The Pauls live in crematoria and smoke your remains".

    • PristineODummy

      To be fair to Ron Paul, that's because he doesn't *have* one. (Uterus, that is. I'm pretty sure he's seen the old bongwater close up at least once.)

  • not that Dewey

    People still watch CNN?

    • Doktor Zoom

      Only if they're stoned.

      • not that Dewey

        Well, that explains alot…..HEY! Where's the Nutty Bars?

        • Doktor Zoom

          Have you ever looked at the pattern in this wallpaper? I mean, REALLY looked at it? Wow.

          • not that Dewey

            So you mean, like, there's a whole universe in my fingernail? And we're just one small atom in it?


          • not that Dewey


            Thank you, Doktor. I was havening a rather shitty night, and you saved me. I can always use a larf.

          • Doktor Zoom

            See also the "Apocalypse Then" sub-thread in the "Tea Party Makes Own Show About Unwed Colonial Mothers" post.

          • not that Dewey

            Done, and done.

  • ganmerlad

    Cheech and Chong movies are absolutely hysterical when you are high. Did you know that?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Hell, the public access channel is absolutely hysterical, when you are high. As is the Farm Report.

    • Did I know what?

  • __kth__

    If I read correctly, Chabot wasn't the drug czar, just an advisor to the drug czar. So maybe more like what Karenin was than the czar of the drug crusade.

    Also, I love that answer (it's one of Rush's favorites) to anyone arguing to legalize weed: what, are you high right this minute? nyuk, nyuk!. Asshole; that's your best argument and you aren't high?

    Lastly, Tommy Chong surely knows what a real addiction looks like, and doesn't: one of his co-stars had a pretty serious basketball jonesiirc.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Golly. I hope Herman Cain doesn't see that cartoon.

  • SenileAgitation

    His heart must really go out to Snoop Dogg.

    • horsedreamer_1

      & look what Snoop did that poor, innocent Katy Perry.

      Now, like her namesake, Kate Hudson, the chanteuse can only date drug-addicts. Russell Brand is just the latest thing.

      (Seriously, Kate Hudson has been married to Chris Robinson (Black Crowes, stoner), & dated Lance Armstrong (cyclist, steroids/blood doping) & Alex Rodriguez (baseball, steroids). & Owen Wilson's prolly been on something, too.)

      • SorosBot

        She (Perry that is) says she has just had a "political awakening", saying that our lack of universal health care is crazy; so we may expect to see more about her around these parts soon, along with maybe teabaggers burning her albums like the Dixie Chix.

        • horsedreamer_1

          horsedreamer_1: "Russell, she only married you for the National Health Services!"

          Brand: [unintelligible Anglicisms]

    • Steverino247
  • AngryGeometer

    Love the bit about how only 2% of Medical Marijuana patients use it for "dehabilitating pain".

    Acetaminophen (Tylenol) poisoning is the leading cause of drug-induced liver failure in the world. Something like 10,000 Americans die from it every year. Maybe Tylenol should only be available for "dehabilitating pain" as well? It's a fuckload of a lot more dangerous than pot, or even say opium. Opium won't blow up your liver if you happen to have it with a couple of drinks.

    • ganmerlad

      Big voices are finally starting to say "enough with this drug-war bullshit". It is only a start, but even Time ran a piece on the downside.

    • emmelemm

      I'm seriously – SERIOUSLY – addicted to Excedrin. (Which is aspirin AND Tylenol [acetominophen] at the same time.) I probably will kill my liver, and it's all *totally legal*.

      Just sayin' – just sayin' you're right, that is.

      • Crank_Tango

        AND caffeine, don't forget. In canada city they have these nice little things called 222s which are aspirin or tylenol and a wee bit of codeine. not enough to get you wrecked, but good for headaches.

        • emmelemm

          I never, never forget the caffeine. Also, totally LEGAL.

          • MaxNeanderthal

            Why anyone pays for dope when you can buy a nice cuban monte cristo (oh sorry, forgot you guys can't), of which one drag will have you in low earth orbit….great!

  • DashboardBuddha

    Too bad Tommy couldn't reach through the screen and choke that patronizing fuckstick.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    If you haven't seen the documentary about Chong's arrest and incarceration, you really should. The story of the SWAT team destroying his factory is tragic, but the one about how the cops couldn't find his stash even with a dog are hilarious.

  • Guppy06

    Junior, whatever it is they pay you to watch this point/counterpoint bullshit, it's not nearly enough.

  • These comments were taking me forever to read until I realized I just thought I was reading them.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Dean? Dean's not here.

  • elburritodeluxe

    …or maybe he just likes Doritos and long pauses between words.

  • GhostBuggy

    I especially enjoyed the schoolmarm-like attitude of that asswipe host.

    • Doktor Zoom

      I was very disappointed. Very, very disappointed. It was so disappointing. And I? I was just so disappointed.


  • Billmatic

    My reefer goes out to me because i have a heart addiction, man…*puff puff*


  • MissTaken

    American Exceptionalism – Finding a really shitty failure of a policy and sticking to it for decades upon decades. Yay, USA?

  • emmelemm

    A really good (and LONG) series of articles on the drug war, and tides that are turning:

    Seattle Stranger articles

  • DahBoner

    Chabot sounds French. And the French wine mafia hates weed, Le Competition

  • FidoMcCokefiend

    Which one of them is on the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission?

  • Chabot the Hut is trying to bring back reefer madness in all its madness. Here in soggy Warshington it would seem that teevee's tour guide Rick Steves and former state ACLU drug tsarina Alison Holcomb are at odds with Chabot's revival of Harry Anslinger's anti hemp campaign that was supported in no small measure by E.I. DuPont pushing for synthetic fabrics, an earlier edition of the Koch Bros., and beloved William Randolph Hearst. Clearly, douchebags are not going extinct any time soon.

    • Whats that old saying, it's hard to teach a man something his paycheck depends on him not understanding.

      fuck all the uptight fuckwads man. Up In Smoke was a great movie.

  • AJWjr.

    I rarely makes friends or points on this issue because nobody reads me through to the end. So this time, I'll start with: I support legalization, or at least decriminalizing it. That out of the way, I can't stand the stuff. Don't like the effects, don't like the smell (hate the smell, really) and don't like being around groups of people that are high, but come on–it's way safer than any other recreational drug, and maybe John Prine said it best.

    • iburl

      I support ending prohibition, but I don't like Bud Light, can't stand the stuff, don't like the effects, don't like the smell (hate the taste, really) and don't like being around groups of people that drink Bud Light. That being said, it kills thousands every year.

      • sati_demise

        any of those kind of beers give me a killer headache.

    • It's weird, I used to hate the smell of skunks until I started smoking weed, now I drive by a dead skunk and I'm into it.

    • Yeppers. Iffin' it displaced ethanol as the 'Murican drug of choice we'd likely see a dramatic drop in domestic violence. If we exclude rampant homicide of Hostess Bakery products and pizzas, obvs.

      • Barrelhse

        Cereal killers.

    • Barrelhse

      I'm not fond of groups of stoned people, or drunks either, but I'm an introvert.
      I used it alone, while I was undergoing chemo after my lung was removed; it was beneficial for many reasons. In my case the most help came in the areas of appetite, pain, and attitude.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Myself, I was always a dickhead for love. Until I read the lyrics.

  • Beowoof

    This guy really makes a case for non-reefer madness. Obviously his never having smoked any weed, he just doesn't know what it is all about. And I don't even smoke weed anymore, I have enough trouble at my age fighting off the urge to nap and the munchies.

    • AJWjr.

      No point mentioning those bats, I thought. The poor bastard will see them soon enough.

  • ttommyunger

    It is possible for Tommy to quit the weed. Chabot, unfortunately, will be an uptight pussyfart until the day he dies, which I hope is soon.

  • PristineODummy

    That's an irresistible proposition.

    Wut? You *were* propositioning me, right?

    • flamingpdog

      Ah, you only love me for my pness.

      • PristineODummy

        It's because my pness is small. Once my pness is bigger than yours, though …

  • Doktor Zoom

    Chabot's not here, man.

  • Does the government have some special program where they employ people who have avoided, like, going outside over the last 45 years or something?

    It's like they cryogenically froze Chabot in 1952 and brought him back to consciousness just to do an interview with Tommy Chong.

  • iburl

    Don't forget big oil and the military-prison-industrial complex.

  • mavenmaven

    And those kids with their rhythmic devil music!

  • smashaduck

    No one? Really?
    Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke. Now that’s an addiction, man. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?

    (Full disclosure, I once had a full-on panic attack smoking up in my parent’s living room one Christmas. “FLASHING LIGHTS!! SHIT!!1! Oh, that’s the Christmas tree. Oh, I’m not driving the sofa either.”)

  • problemwithcaring

    I will bet a eighth of my best kush that this guy is fucking a prepubescent aborigine boy every weekend. AND does meth.

  • comrad_darkness

    Much more tragic is a baseball addiction.

  • bflrtsplk

    One time, I took a French exam high on coke. Aced it. If I had never tried pot, I never would have tried coke and discovered it is too expensive for a French exam I probably would have aced anyway.

  • horsedreamer_1
  • Isyaignert

    That dude needs to smoke a bowl.

  • Isyaignert

    Henry Ford made a car out of hemp. Check out this video :

  • ShaveTheWhales

    You must not be high.

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