WHOOPS: Georgia’s legal promise to crucify any illegal immigrants it could get its hands on did, in fact, have the intended effect of scaring away the state’s undocumented workers. So, lo and behold, there are no workers left to harvest all of the state’s crops. Is America ready for forced labor again? Maybe this will solve the obesity epidemic? Georgia farmers are currently 11,000 workers short, and a failure to fill the ranks will cripple the state agricultural industry. Haha, there will be no food, this will solve the obesity problem, too!
The state has been trying to encourage some of the state’s unemployed probationers to join chain gangs harvest crews before ALL the crops rot in the fields, but probationers have not so far worked as quickly or as hard as the space aliens do with their magical powers.
From the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:
In response, Deal proposes that farmers try to hire the 2,000 unemployed criminal probationers estimated to live in southwest Georgia. Somehow, I suspect that would not be a partnership made in heaven for either party.
As an editorial in the Valdosta Daily Times notes, “Maybe this should have been prepared for, with farmers’ input. Maybe the state should have discussed the ramifications with those directly affected. Maybe the immigration issue is not as easy as ’send them home,’ but is a far more complex one in that maybe Georgia needs them, relies on them, and cannot successfully support the state’s No. 1 economic engine without them.”
Woah woah woah hey let’s not get all “this is a complicated issue” here. Space aliens are stealing jobs, remember? STEALING. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]







{ 348 comments }
That's what you get for electing morons, Georgia.
Hey – it's Georgia – not like they really had a choice…
True, they did elect Lester Maddox's axe handle governor.
Remember when there was fire at the governor's mansion when he was in office? Terrible – the library burned up. Both books were destroyed. And one of them he hadn't finished coloring.
I believe residency is a requirement for most, if not all, statewide offices in the Great State of GA.
Ipso facto: legislatis morondis.
Lahk my mama always said, stupid is as stupid does.
Needs more chocolate.
Just think: with the onset of global climate change, one day (soon) we might be able to grow cacao in Aladamnbama.
Pfff, I'd sooner vote for Mr. Gump than any of these other dopes. Gump/Taylor 2012!
There were no dems in any local races in my area. Exciting!
And the dems that are here are like Jim Marshall, who probably supported this bill, opposed health care reform, opposed reproductive rights. . . . might as well be a republican.
I say: let the fetus pull itself up by its bootstraps. If the parent & ob-gyn can overpower the child, then so be it.
They don't make Georgians like Jimmy Carter anymore
Hell, they don't make Georgians like Sam Nunn anymore.
Asking for compassion is a fool's errand, then.
morons…Georgia… yep, sounds redundant to me.
"That's what you get for electing morons"
Butbutbut…
The kind of guy you want to have a beer with!
Liberals are eleeeeeeeetist!
time to cut taxes!
If you cut the farmer's taxes, then they would pay their laborers $100, 000 a year and benefits that the brutal difficult labor is worth. And people would quit being doctors and lawyers and go out to the fields.
Oh who cares about crops? There are festering, algae-filled pools that need cleaning in Buckhead!!
And festering, algae filled wives that need fucking.
Pool boy joke. Get it?
Manolo the Poolboy is going to make all the brothers jealous.
Of course, this being Atlanta, at least a few of those trophy
chickenBuckhead wives are Afro-American, too.Needs more farm subsidies.
More ginormous tractors with air conditioning!!! (Actually, I'd love one of those. WHERE"S MY SUBSIDY!)
Call it a 'jobs' program.
Actually, if you are talking about taking the corn/soybean/GMO food mafia subsidies and giving them to fruit and vegetable growers………..all rightie then.
Well, the law worked. They wanted the illegals to go away and they did.
This is so ironic hip performance art. They are staging a fucking statewide theatrical performance of A Day Without Mexicans.
Wicked pissah!
A Day without Mexicans
Subcomandante Marcos: [comes]
So much for all the Tea-Party types that says Government can't get things done.
Imagine what will happen to America when all the Messicans got raptured
Wake me up, before you Juan Diego, Diego.
Maybe the farmers could offer good wages and benefits to attract equally dedicated hard workers?
HAHAHA yeah like Mosanto or Archer-Daniels Midland would ever do that.
But Juan McCain said those migrant workers were making like 50 bucks an hour picking strawberries and watermelons and such.
This is Great News! For Juan McCain!
And then starting fires on their way to the next gig!
What's executive compensation like in ConAgra again?
$14 million a year and all the "corn sugar" you and your family can ingest.
So about 1000x as much as the field workers make.
Harry and David's in Oregon tried that, including health insurance, they are in bankruptcy now.
But: did they come out opposed to a public option &/or Medicare for all?
Stupid corporations. So short-sighted. (Do they know why the fat-cats in Europe & Asia have it so good? Their companies aren't on the hook for health insurance.)
Ha ha ha, like the invisible hand of the market would be allowed to work in this fashion.
Oh you know all those teabagger farmer types now upset with no one to do the work, the irony is rich.
"Those guys out here weren't out there 30 minutes and they got the bucket and just threw them in the air and say, `Bonk this, I ain't with this, I can't do this,'" said Jermond Powell, a 33-year-old probationer. "They just left, took off across the field walking."
Do Exceptional Americans quit? Why yes, yes they do.
"Don't you want to taste of this Georgia peach?"
Not after it rots off the tree and falls to the ground.
I did, late the other night…
Very tasty
We really love your peaches; you'll have to shake your own tree.
I wonder if Georgia's also facing a revolt of their wealthiest citizens for the loss of their maids and nannies.
Perhaps it would save trouble if everyone were simply to leave Georgia, period.
Don't worry. The upcoming Georgia law to fix all this will specify that only brown people should leave, while black people should head back in the fields.
I feel gross just typing that. Forgive me.
Yes – the Law of Unintended Consequences.
Intended Consequences
OT, but everyone talks about "the Law of Unintended Consequences" but never actually says what it is. Is it just, "Sometimes there are unintended consequences"? Is this a useful principle for analyzing human behavior?
Did the law differentiate between the field slaves and the house slaves?
There actually was a proposed version of the Arizona bigot legislation in Texas that included an exemption for domestic workers; so for Texas it did.
Good news for Meg Whitman!
Unintended consequences are a bitch, just like karma. Who woulda thunk that there wouldn't be no messicans to pick no peaches or nothin'? Gosh, it's almost like they really didn't think this thing all the way through did they?
Unintended, but not unforeseeable to anyone with a measurable IQ.
Ha ha. Hey, Georgia, you obese fuckin' morons. I suppose the bank foreclosures on the farms is the INTENDED consequence, now that you yokels have been easily duped into voting against your own best interest….shit-for-brains Crackers… LOL. Just quit breeding, would ya?
The comment box here needs this Auto-Text for every time I see a story like this:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
pause, wipe away tears of laughter, take deep breath
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I felt exactly the same way especially being of Latin descent!!!! It's like sweet sweet tasty karma!
#WINNING
Seriously, way to go, idiots! Also, I like how that editorial has "Maybe… maybe…" I assume that's sarcastic.
That is some goddam forward thinking here. We need to sandbag ourselves a redoubt in the North and leave these extra chromosome fucktards to their fate. It won't be very long at all until we can reclaim the land, sans idiots.
Ok, just don't forget to knock on the bunker door to give me the all clear.
We should come up with a secret knock. Know any John Bonham?
But how does this effect my local Piggly Wiggly?
Vidalia onions will be $20/lb, if there are any.
And the produce labels will need to be reworked: Peach, Bean, Lettuce, etc.
Singular tense rules. Well, except for worms, fruit flies and assorted larvae. We got lotsa plurals on them.
Worms?
This is Good News… for Sarah Palin!
It's still a good pickup spot for overweight bored housewives. No worries there.
Those minor Maine chillins' could be bussed in.
Yeah, hasn't LePage succeeded in overturning Maine's child labour laws?
People still Pigglin' and food still Wigglin'..
I still refuse to believe this is a real store.
I'll send you a picture next time I see one.
C'mon, this is a region where people put fucking peanuts in their fucking Coca Cola!
In fact, if you look at the grand scheme of things in the South, Piggly Wiggly is a Class 3 Misdemeanor. Like not picking up your dog's shit in the park.
Making unfree people pick crops? How antebellum.
The way thems farmer folks wur lollygaggin' 'round, you'd think it was a hundr'd an twen'y degrees. Cain't be more th'n a hundr'd an fourteen!
REAP WHAT YOU SOW MOTHERFUCKERS!
Apparently their inability to do so is the problem.
Hahaha
Now, now, everybody knows you can't eat hatred or xenophobia. Tacos and huevos rancheros are delicious, though.
STEP AND FETCH IT, REDNECKS!
Not with my own lily whites, really, we have people for that don't we?? Well, don't we?
I thought if it only weren't for those damnable brown folks that honest white americans would be working those fields?
I guess they're too good to pick peanuts for…uh, peanuts.
You should've heard Colbert going on about his experience doing a day of farm work. Gems like how soil is hard to reach, being at ground level and all.
Well, getting rid of the "Mexicans" is only the first step. Re-enslaving black people is step 2.
Sherman didn't go far enough, obviously.
Step 3: ???
Step 4: Profit.
I'd like to see the fuckers go to Atlanta and announce Step #2. Talk about Second Amendment remedies…
Thanks a lot Arizona and Georgia! With all these returning serfs, I now have to kick out the Bangladeshi workers I hired to pick coffee.
Forgot to repeal amendments 13-15 first.
We're making a law that, off the top of my head, makes it illegal to follow those amendments.
The 13th Amendment, outlawing slavery, doesn't apply to people convicted of a crime. Looks like win-win to me. (how convenient is it that they are also mostly of color, or will be after a while in the sun in chains?)
KBJ: that looks like Paul Muni in "I'm a fugitive from a Chain Gang." Best prison/social justice flick ever, well done.
Yeah, but as we're learning in North Carolina, you have to pay for healthcare for convicts. The whole point of hiring illegals is not having to deal with benefits (or pay, if you tip off ICE the day before payday).
Of course, I suppose the state would be obliged to pay for the healthcare, which totally wouldn't be corporate welfare at all…
So, make it a crime to be brown! Fixed!
Good thing those tough, go-it-alone, hardworking Georgians came up with this legislation to drive those dangerous, lazy Mexicans out of their state. Too bad about the unintended consequence, but you know what red-blooded independent-minded Americans do when the going gets tough, right? So, Governor Perdue, you know what to do — write a nice letter to President Obama asking to have your state declared an economic disaster area and apply for aid.
What a noxious full-on embrace of socialism. As for me I am going to my pastor and setting up a cookie drive to do our part to help those poor farmers. And if you think our points-of-light approach won't be quite enough, then you surely do not know the capacity of Jesus' heart.
Now the only problem is I have to join a church, and find one with a pastor. They still call them "pastors" right?
I can bet that letter is already in the mail. But, you are right…I am sure RPerry has a few letters in the queue about the drought.
Have I said Texas Governor Perry is a dickweed today?
Hell, he's a dickweed EVERY day.
It's actually Nathan Deal (r) now, but same asshole, different year.
This is the guy who is keeping the state's promise to get rid of a toll on GA-400 after the road was paid for. He is. For this coming weekend. He says he considers the tolls on Monday to be an all new, separate toll totally unrelated to the original one.
But yes, you can fucking believe that some folks are gonna get a big kick outta watching brownz in prison stripes picking cotton by the highway again.
Swing low, sweet fucking chariot. Seriously, run me over, please.
Take heart, cher ami. The thing about picking produce is, you have to be very good at it in order to do it well. One thing the Brownz learned from years of slavery and bootitude is how to fake doing things well while Secretly Sabotaging them. So, Georgia? Enjoy your produce, worms and all. And, it's gonna cost you about five times as much as when you let the Illegal Brownz do it.
"Governor Perdue, you know what to do — write a nice letter to President Obama asking to have your state declared an economic disaster area and apply for aid. "
"Deer Preznit Nigra:
We-all Hates your muslin soshulist seff, also your skin color. Now sends us some munnys!!!!!
Yours in Christ,
Gov. Perdoo"
Obviously, since this is Georgia, the spelling will be worse, they'll use the more insulting version of "nigra", and it will be replete with backwards "s" typos, but you get the idea.
I blame Juan Valdez and his brother, Exxon.
~
Apparently the Valdez bros are now in Arizona, starting some wildfires.
And once again, I say Sherman had the right idea…
With the WABACK machine?
You sir, are an idiot.
Wow. You can't even spell "Wayback" right. Why is it, exactly, that right-wing trolls almost always write like six-year old kids?
"Wow. You can't even spell "Wayback" right. Why is it, exactly, that right-wing trolls almost always write like six-year old kids?"
So many libunatics to educate, so little time:
"Each episode of "Peabody's Improbable History" begins with the dog's greeting, "Peabody, here." The premise each week was to introduce Sherman to real history. For that purpose, Peabody has constructed the WABAC (pronounced "wayback") machine.
The WABAC is a take-off on early computer acronyms such as UNIVAC and ENIAC. The WABAC is a time machine used by Peabody and Sherman to travel back in time and witness various historical events."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mister_Peabody
You could have looked that up quickly so as not to appear so stupid.
Apology accepted.
a) It's the Wayback machine,
b) that was Mr. Peabody; Sherman was his sidekick.
"a) It's the Wayback machine, "
So many libunatics to educate, so little time:
"Each episode of "Peabody's Improbable History" begins with the dog's greeting, "Peabody, here." The premise each week was to introduce Sherman to real history. For that purpose, Peabody has constructed the WABAC (pronounced "wayback") machine.
The WABAC is a take-off on early computer acronyms such as UNIVAC and ENIAC. The WABAC is a time machine used by Peabody and Sherman to travel back in time and witness various historical events."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mister_Peabody
You could have looked that up quickly so as not to appear so stupid.
I did not say that Sherman invented the WABACK machine, just that he was right about it. Too, don't forget that the theme here is snark, so poetic license is encouraged.
Apology accepted.
This time around, they're doing Sherman's work for him!
You can't do it, my friends…
All Republitards who want to repeal capital gains tax and oppose amnesty for illegal immigrants should work a full season harvesting fruits and vegetables under the hot Georgia sun and then we'll talk.
Make it a day, they'll never survive until the end of the season. (Though it would be good for the mortuary industry.)
You FAIL to mention how much good it will do in fertilizing the fields. Cheap compost. Smelly, but effective.
Why don't they get a few CEO's out there? They get paid 1,000 times as much, because they're 1,000 times more productive, right? One or two of them should be productive enough to clear out the field in an hour or two!
Α working, weight-losing, vacation for Pus Limpbowel!
Hey, add the Demitards to that list and maybe we could get somewhere in Congress…
And when the crops rot and the ag businesses lose money, it will be all the Messicans' fault.
Exactly. The Mexicans should have been willing to stay in Georgia, get arrested, be put in jail, then transported daily to the fields to work in the crops (as prisoners), then brought back to the jail at nights.
Hey, at least in that scenario they'd also get medical care. 'Smore than they get now.
Yep, I can see them out my window right now, setting brush fires here in Arizona, just for laughs. When the fun of that wears thin, I'm sure they'll start spreading around those headless corpses again, just to annoy Jan Brewer. Those Messicans, they're such cards!
In their spare time they crashed the stock market, took bailout money, gave tax cuts to the wealthy, started unnecessary wars of choice, made millions in no bid defense contracts . . .
Remember the good old days under Reagan when we only needed our home grown welfare queens to do all that? Like crashing the S&Ls in their spare time and all.
It's Obama's fault for ruining their crops! This never would have happened under a McCain/Palin administration.
Oh, sure, you say that NOW, but when you can't get an onion for your belt, THEN what will you do?
Hate them for'ners? Haven't lifted anything heavier than a remote in 20 years? Welcome to the GA starvation diet. Locusts will be along shortly.
Nah, we oot the locusts under control, we got these 2 inch monsters to keep them under control http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eastern_cicada_kille...
Sherman showed years ago that starvation is the only language Georgians understand.
The schaden freudes itself.
Went With The Wind.
~
I'm trying to get through this by pretending Arizona or Tennessee will figure in the next story.
It's not like the guv hasn't thought this through….he just needs to get slavery….ummm…black criminals….damn! criminal probationers…..to do the work. That's whut we need here.
Our justice system, like fox news, is fair and balanced, also, too.
Mexican slaves next!
What the hell do they actually grow there? Hate and ignorance? The futures on those things are astronomical in today's market.
Invest in Hate and Ignorance, and you'll always see growth, even when the market is down. But no one profits…
Never, ever, ever short the hate and ignorance markets.
I sure plenty of people profit off of hate and ignorance.
It's the invisible hand of the free market throwing up a hitler salute.
I think you mean brown and white.
Thinking ahead when planning legislation = SOC-SHAL-ISM
oh snap
But make sure the legislation is 3 pages long or less.
The Day The Peanuts Died.
Just get some actual prisoners out into Georgia fields.
They'd get some sun, some exercise and $10 a day.
What could go wrong?
O Brother, Where Art Thou?
Make sure those guys got bona fides!
Them Mexican fellers done r-u-n-n-o-f-t.
How do you like them peaches?
"How do you like them peaches? "
Picked and in a basket?! Oh, now I haz a sad.* No peaches for me.
*No I don't.
Okay, how now am I going to fill my food pyramid…uh, plate…with delicious veggies?
Well, I do have a 3 acre garden so I am sitting pretty, I thinks to myself.
How many Messicans you got workin' there?
This is why people have CHILDREN. Don't need no Messicans with them li'l no-wage slaves in the house.
ohhhh jealous
?? no need. its a fact. “harvest time” is a bitch with a job but the freezers are full.
A 3-acre garden? Hell, here in the city, that'd practically be a farm. lol
Well, how many cucumbers can Governor Nathan Deal pick in an hour?
If he's fast, PROBLEM SOLVED!
"how many cucumbers can Governor Nathan Deal pick in an hour?"
All of th–
OW!!!
*runs out of room pursued by hastily flung rotten vegetables*
It was the year without a Mexican
A summer's eve so sad
It was a year without a Mexican
The whitest we have had
the Summer's Eve™ part is definitely right on. it accurately portrays the Georgia legislature.
Next Big Thing:
Gone in a Flash Mob.
Now there's a solution. Use twitter to gather a flash mob at the melon patch. When everybody arrives… Surprise! Now git to pickin'!
Libunatics love having illegal immigrants pick their crops for them.
Moronic conservatives make specious jumps in logic to criticize liberals because they know their own deeply-held positions do not hold up under even casual factual scrutiny.
Thank you for your invitation to engage you in discussion.
Who in their right mind would consider "inviting" an asshole to "discuss" anything, when the asshole starts out the dialogue with an insult and some idiotic nonsense? You go without saying, fuck the horse you road in on, asshole shitbag fuckstick pigfucker.
Ah, Prom, you are, as usual, a poet.
Bring it on, mouth-breather. Let's hear your original, refreshing take on the issues of the day. Let's see just how much water your ideas hold.
Maybe you will earn the title "fool" if you are able to post without all-caps or grammatical errors this time.
Discussion implies not changing the subject every time one is proven wrong.
Didn't think so.
Coward.
It's a good thing that corn can be harvested by machine.
That way we can burn that corn in our cars after it is converted to ethanol. Who cares about all those starving 3rd worlders, let them eat dirt while we engage in our self-indulgent fantasies about biofuels.
Right, because without biofuels, the lovely corn lobby just ships all of our excess corn overseas to held starving children in Ethiopia.
Oh, wait, no they don't. They turn it into cat litter.
Industrial hemp is the best source for ethanol= 30% high quality oil.
hmmmmm wonder why we are not using it?
Haha. Gotta love how conservatives care about "Third Worlders" when they can score a cheap political point, when the rest of the time it's just bomb them, torture them, and steal their resources.
So crass and transparent.
You're totally ignorant about the realities of how farming and ethanol subsidies work, and how growers deal with surplus.
But hey, you're also a conservative. I imagine ignorance is a badge of honor for you.
Liberals are largely aware that ethanol is a boondoggle, it does nothing to help the environment. Ethanol use is being shoved down our throat by the corporate sellouts in Congress who are in the pay of big business (is that the way the free market and the invisible hand is supposed to work, giant corporations hijacking government and using it to pass laws to give them a monopoly, eliminate competition, and increase prices?). Ethanol is ConAgra's baby, its not a liberal treehugger thing. Forced on you to the tune of 10% of every tank of gas you buy by the GOP, shitbag lying cocksuckers who lie shamelessly about Liberty and free markets while they do everything they can to destroy both.
No, we don't love it…but we do understand that it is a sad reality if we want to continue to get apples for $1/lb. Undocumented workers are willing to accept pay below the poverty line unlike Americans. If workers demanded higher, livable wages then the cost of our food would skyrocket because agribusiness would just pass on the extra cost to us, the customers. Free market and all.
Oh wait, you weren't actually expecting a real response were you? Nevermind!
Be even more pointless to add the bit about those evil trade agreements allowing US agri-corps to flood 3rd world markets, forcing millions of farmers to look for another way to support themselves. Like, say, heading to the US or Brazil to illegally work in the same fields that put them out if business back home.
sobbb, fuck those fucking fuckers!
I've reached the point where sometimes I can't tell sarcastic TeaTard speak from righteous outrage around here. God I miss Bush. At least the stupid and crazy had their shit together, one or two stupid lies at a time.
Careful, the Snark Police will ticket you for engaging in rational dialogue!
Monsanto create unemployment all over the world so they can have cheap illegal labor.
profit!
No, that's the conservative big business interests, which here puts them out odds with the bigoted side of the right wing that uses racist phrases like "illegal immigrants". Most liberals support some form of immigration reform that would stop treating undocumented aliens like criminals, and instead let them be protected under the law.
Conservatards love making excuses for their pedophile politicians.
Which is uglier?
I don't know about the sentiment, but you gotta love the alliteration.
THANK GOD BK STACKERS GROW ON TREES.
Them shits are delicious and healthy. who can argue with a dollar a stack??? Well??
You don't so much eat them, as rent them for an hour or two.
BK is the worst, they were too cheap to pay 1 cent more per pound for tomatos for a raise in labor …they really screw the messicans/prisoners as hard as they can. fuck them. I would never eat a BK anything, cheap assholes
Frankly, Georgia. I don't give a damn.
Fuck the fucking south. . .Georgia and Alabama are home to even worse anti-immigrant legislation than the retired old white fuckhead racists in Arizona were able to pass. Stupid goobers. Enjoy watching your largest industry wither and die because you elected hateful bags of pus who'd rather preen for a bunch of fat fucking teabaggers than actually govern.
The "best" part, for me, is that the ignorant oafs will continue electing the same pus-bags because the voters are too goddamned stupid to understand what happened. The gullibility of those fools is astounding, which may explain the large number of Evangelicals in the same areas.
What happend? Dat der Obummer dun rooined ar crops! Dey tuk ar jars of peaches!
He mulsined all over them or sumthn, prolly huh?
Maybe they'll blame witches or divine punishment for gay marriage or something.
"Space aliens are stealing jobs, remember? STEALING"
Quick, somebody tell the REAL Georgians they can have their wonderful jobs back! You know, the ones the invading aliens stole from them at gunpoint.
Oh, wait. Dumbasses.
Suggested revision: Right wing nutz like to TELL un- and under-employed American citizens they need to do any work they can get — no matter the paltry salary or lack of benefits. Apparently it should be enough of a joy for us that we are serving the rich.
in other news, why do i STILL have to hear jammikin's voice bleating out of my radio about MORE WAR?
i mean seriously arizona what have we ever done to you?
And after a full decade, the chorus to his song hasn't changed at all: We are within One Year of Victory! If we just stay the course for another year, all our problems will go away! Just One More Year…
I will gladly pay you tomorrow for a hamburger today . . .
That's two whole Friedman units!
Now's about time for Georgia teens to nut up and take back the jobs those heinous messicans stole, right? Or something…
Honestly tho, can you imagine bratty High School graduates laboring away in fields and orchards? Half the time would be spent whining and Twatting.and daydreaming about landing a lux job at Taco Bell.
I'm sure none of them would EVER wipe their ass with the produce, or hock one up, or wipe boogers on anything. No bodily fluids, either. None.
This is why America needs to get back to its foundational, Constitutional roots and bring back slavery. Is anybody going to argue that slavery wasn't good for Georgia's agrarian economy? The savings on labor costs would surely bring down those supermarket prices. And you always know your slaves are legal immigrants because you've got a receipt.
America took a wrong turn when it insisted the labor force be supplemented only by people who willingly choose to come here. That's when all this illegal immigration crap started right there.
Does that mean it'd be legal to tar-and-feather Mormons again? Lemme get the stove warmed up. Just in case.
And choke a chicken, too, as they say.
I'm all for it. What's the going rate for a family of crackers?
I think I just read somewhere that it's around $40,000. That may sound expensive, but if you amortize the cost over 10 years it's really not. And if you feed them and refrain from beating them to death, you could maybe get 20 years out of them or even more. Everybody wins.
that's only about $40. per pound for a family of four average Southerners. But the upkeep is gonna kill ya. If you skimp on food cost they'll get even fatter and you'll get less work out of em and the medical costs will soar.
The fucking bill for Jimmy Dean sausages would probably bankrupt me, anyway.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4RNb3tt0LM
Somebody with decent math skills (I think it may have been in the "Yes Men" movie) figured out that running a sweatshop is substantially cheaper than buying slaves, because with slaves, you have to feed and house them and keep them at least healthy enough to work.
Having worked briefly and unhappily for the independent, non-governmental American Farm Bureau in Washington, I can assure you that this slap in their face will still not be enough for them to encourage their membership to vote Democratic.
You can say that again. The Farm Bureau is Big Ag, pure and simple. Real farm families join the Farmers Union or the NFO if they join anything at all. And their operations are small enough to do their own harvesting.
Could this be a bid to destroy the small rural farmer?
Probably more like a bid to bring back sharecropping.
Convict labor. Is even cheaper.
That's long since been done.
No, it's a bid to further demoralize everyone who works for a living. The fact that it will *also* work toward destroying small family farms is merely a coincidental bonus.
You betcha! I never meant to suggest that. Besides, it's all the fault of the black usurper in the White House.
Looks like the slim pickins will make the Georgia cuke crop bomb. But that will be pushin' up the price of cucumbers grown in other states. Whiners and losers it just must be that beloved invisible hand at work once again.
This is good news for maggots!
Owls, you slay me.
Igualmente, Don Chet, igualmente.
Oh, sweet Baby Jesus in the Manger.
How about a law or constitutional amendment, I don't care which, that any cross-eyed, inbred, toe-sniffing, uneducated shit-for-brains can run for office and even be elected, but before, before, before, being sworn in, they have to take and pass a six hour exam on the ACTUAL constitution. No multiple choice, all essay questions.
Each exam, with the electee's identifying information redacted, would be scored by some combination/arrangement of federal judges that would prevent or minimize the effect of, favoritism toward certain answers. And to further prevent judicial shenanigans, there would be some mechanism for the publication of all exams with the grades, and the identifying information of the judges and the would-be legislator.
Too much evident ignorance on the part of a judge would be grounds for impeachment. Nothing like potential public humiliation to mitigate the synergistic effect of bigotry combined with stupidity.
Improvements to this plan are welcome. I wrote this in a hurry while gnashing my teeth.
Edit: I just re-read this and noted that this law might well be constitutional. But that doesn't change the fact that it is STUPID, and that the balloonheads that passed it, undoubtedly did not know or care if was constitutional* or not.
*The real constitution, not the bagger one.
Pro-tip from a Real Live Political Scientist: Checks and balances do not work when all branches are mentally unbalanced.
Oh, and by the way, the very thought of grading essay exams by quasi-literate car dealership owners, aluminum siding magnates and scurrilous ambulance chasers produced a shiver in my very soul. Sorta like watching Blood in the Face
Oh. Having spent a number of year grading the earnest efforts of mostly well-intended but goofy thought-they-were-literate college students, I see your point.
But the comedy? How about free booze for graders?
Okay, skip the exams. How about hanging at dawn for anyone that introduces a law found to be unconstitutional later? No, wait, I just remembered our Supreme Court. Ah, the hell with it. Where's my box of wine? And a straw.
Alternative: You want to fight the HomoLibMuzlin Illuminati before they put chips in everyone's head & make us all eat our young? Sure, Sparky, you can run for office, but you have to swear an affadavit to do ALL of what you say you're going to do before your filing papers will go through.
Campaigns wouldn't be nearly as "fun" – but neither would the years-long hangovers that so often follow one bullshit-artiste out-whoring another one.
Obviously the Master Plan of the Georgia Redneck Conglomerate to re-employ the black folk in the fields of cotton has failed miserably. Time has changed Hooded People of Georgia
Why come you don't got no workers? Sez here your shit's all [redacted]. Don't worry, bro. Lots of [redacted] lead totally kick-ass lives. Just water your crops with Brawndo, the thirst mutilator. It's got what plants crave.
The term for collapsing in the heat in the North Carolina tobacco field was "monkeyed" as in "Before thirty minutes were up, a couple of the new guys monkeyed and we had to have someone drive 'em back to the barn."
If he had said that, I would have believed them.
Oh, this is delicious.
Tastes like schadenfreude-and-peach cobbler, with a tall glass of sweet iced tea. Yessir.
Ain't no peaches at the store, better use the Ritz® Cracker "Peach" Cobbler recipe!
a little tangential, probably too long, and will probably break Wonkette.com, but:
i love you
That's sad and beautiful.
They're already doing something like that in Tanzania.
Lake Victoria is guarded at gunpoint so hungry locals won't eat the fish that they can sell for big $$$ elsewhere.
They made a documentary move about it called "Darwin's Nightmare":
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0424024/
Wait a minute – somebody in Georgia eats vegetables?
(But seriously, the thought of the "unintended consequences" of this teabagger reactionism, in real, human terms, is making me ill).
"poised to take any work they can get"
Their mission to make the American worker as pliable and downright desperate as possible was given to them by Jesus Himself.
Maybe General Sherman can come harvest the crops.
Apparently not even the TV Puppet Pals are willing to work as day laborers.
I fucking hate vegetables anyway. More meat!
Maybe General Sherman can harvest the crops.
And now Georgia can't undo the law without looking like they are PRO-illegal immigration. (ha!)
To be forever known as the "Illegal Aliens, Please Come Back" Bill.
Here's the corner, here's the paint.
Peachy, isn't it?
Seriously, Wonkette? Am I going to have to hunt about for the video mute button every
time I visit a page here? I love the site, but not that much.
Wait! You mean when people say things like "the illegals do the jobs Americans don't want to do" they are actually, uh you know, correct?!
No that's just lieberul communism. Illegals steal jobs that Americans desperately want. Every billionaire knows that!
Oh phew! Thanks for setting me straight, Genxr! Because when I become a billionaire (I read The Secret so it will definitely happen) I want to make sure I have my talking points correct.
Oh, absolutely! I have a friend in the artificial insemination biz. He assures me that 1) the only way to extract the semen is to masturbate a bull, a boar, a tom turkey, etc., and that 2) only immigrants will do this.
Not to be all persnickety, but I think it's more like, "The illegals do the jobs Americans don't want to do for shit money". While there might be *some* Americans who are willing to pick strawberries, I dare say that there are very few Americans who are willing to pick strawberries for 50 cents a day.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
pause, wipe away tears of laughter, take deep breath
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(rinse and repeat)
As a followup — did anything like this happen in Arizona? From http://www.netstate.com/economy/az_economy.htm
Crops
Arizona's biggest crop is lettuce, comprising about 20% of the state's total crop production.
Cantaloupes account for about 2% of the state's crop revenues.
Lettuce and cantaloupes have to be harvested by hand, I believe.
Probably coming soon.
Obviously it's up to the state to bail out these aggribuisnesses. Letting them sink or swim in a brave new world that keeps them from exploiting labor is communism.
"Haha, there will be no food, this will solve the obesity problem, too!"
Silly KBJ, everyone knows food doesn't grow in the ground. It comes from WalMart!
As long as we have workers for the deep fryers, we'll have food.
I really love my peaches come and shake my tree…please?
This calls for a new marketing campaign to encourage hard-working legal Georgians to get back in touch with working the land! Here's the slogan:
BEND OVER, GEORGIA™
Let me guess. He was against minimum wage increases before he was for them? Grraaaar! Get gubbermint outta my life! Oh wait, i'm poor as balls? GIMME A RAISE! Life is unfair!
It's amazing how quickly political beliefs can change when you're the one hurting. Take my dad for instance. Glenn Beck-loving, church going, gay hating (worked for prop 8 -_-), and yet, once he gets Diabetes, guess who's gung-ho for Stem Cell research? I love him, but I always wonder if he'd be for research if he didn't have that…
I suppose we're all selfish/blind in our own ways.
Ugh, too serious. Scrote. There we go.
My mom told me there's a guy at her Catholic Church who, every Sunday, goes to the altar to get communion wearing a red T-shirt that says, "I support stem cell research." She's surprised they leave him alone. I bet they wouldn't if his shirt said, "I'm gay and I support stem cell research."
They seem to think that poor people pick crops when it's actually the POOREST people who do that work. They're the poorest people on this side of the earth. Now it's plain for all to see (thanks, Georgia) that heavily subsidized corporations are totally reliant on them.
Actually, Fuck that. I'm being too generous again. They want miserably poor black people to pick those crops.
Just when you thought there wasn't any justice in the world…. As Blanche Dubois exclaimed, "Sometimes—there's God—so quickly!" Heh. Enjoy the sweet and pungent aroma of rotting peaches, motherfuckers.
This story works on so many levels.
It's a story about businesses being hurt by the enforcement of labor laws.
It's a story about a people willing to bankrupt themselves rather than give a brown person legal status.
It's a story about the Tea Party biting the corporate hand that feeds them.
It's a story about corporate political donors reaping the whirlwind.
Any that I've missed?
It's a story about some fat cats in the state capital who won't get reelected.
Hey, here's a guy who could help in American Georgia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trofim_Lysenko
We can't let shit like agriculture and biology get in the way of political thought, now, can we?
God, you are just pathetic.
And SO not funny!
Is the ban hammer broken?
Are there no workhouses?
Not yet, but soon, probably.
We can check their teeth, right?
Note to Georgia:
"I does not care."
Good news for farmers, short supplies will drive veggie prices up!
Good news for farmers who aren't in Georgia maybe…a penny more per fruit/veg isn't going to make up for loosing half or more of your entire crop.
win for accurate translation
"No one could have predicted…" (In Condi Rice voice)
* That 20 years of cranking the volume on the Mighty media Wurlitzer would lead to a sadly misinformed, ideologically hidebound and thoughtlessly reactionary voter pool.
*That said voter pool would elect representatives at least as or more misinformed, ideological and thoughtlessly reactionary.
*That said misinformed representatives would thoughtlessly buffalo through their local legislature reactionarily ideological legislation.
*That said reactionary legislation, being very poorly thought out, would have the unintended effect of grinding a major local industry to a halt and crashing the regional economy.
*That now, said representatives have no possible mechanism left to them to recover the local industry and, by extension, the economy because, even if their ideology allowed for a full repeal of the law, this bell's one that just can't be un-rung.
This makes me laugh, in the way I'd laugh while watching a thief steal my brand new car and drive it headlong into a tree.
Save this excellent post, C_R_Eature. You'll be able to use it again real soon.
Thank you. I'm both pleased and incredibly sad at the same time.
Sucks to be the one who is right about why the ship is sinking and the lifeboats are gone. Nice to be right, but . . .
Cassandra was no doubt a frustrated nervous wreck and I'll bet she never got any dates, either. Some days I'd almost rather be a simpleton. Almost.
I just can't figure out if the Christians are at the bottom of all this, or if they're merely duped pawns being used for their voting bloc.
I'd guess “B”, offhand. And I'd put the descriptive “Christians” into Quotes. Also.
Amen and amen!
Aha – I see you're familiar with the sociological phenomenon.
"No one could have predicted…" (In Condi Rice voice)
* That 20 years of cranking the volume on the Mighty media Wurlitzer would lead to a sadly misinformed, ideologically hidebound and thoughtlessly reactionary voter pool.
*That said voter pool would elect representatives at least as or more misinformed, ideological and thoughtlessly reactionary.
…
*That now, said representatives have no possible mechanism left to them to recover the local industry and, by extension, the economy because, even if their ideology allowed for a full repeal of the law, this bell's one that just can't be un-rung."
"NOW, THEREFORE…
In conclusion, you guys are boned"
*walks away whistling*
Excellent.
This is the America our Founding Fathers fought the Mexican-American War for.
"So, lo and behold, there are no workers left to harvest all of the state’s crops."
Gotta love those completely believable statements on Wonkette! Not a single agricultural worker in the entire state!
"One farmer pitted the probationers against the Latinos one work day. The probationers were assigned to fill one truck, and the Latinos were to fill a second truck. The result: The Latinos picked six truckloads while the probationers picked less than two truckloads."
IOW, the probationers acted like union and government workers.
I think you might be missing the point here, little camper. But you keep on keepin' on! You're bound to have a semi-coherent thought some day! Blind squirrel, nut, etc.
Monkeys, typewriters, Shakespeare.
It's like mad libs: Problems are because ______ unions ______ illegals ______ liberals.
Obviously the Master Plan of the Georgia Redneck Conglomerate to re-employ the black folk in the fields has failed miserably.
The solution is so obvious, the teabaggers would love it, too. What would the founding fathers do if they faced a shortage of workers willing to do the backbreaking work of the fields? What did they do?
Gosh. I remember something about give me your tired and poor? No, that can't be right, unless they were going to be used as fuel.
Haha, there will be no food, this will solve the obesity problem, too!
Indeed, the Cheetos are withering on the vine. Who will pick the High Fructose Corn Syrup?
Also, the Mexicans made a movie about this sort of thing back in 2004. Un día sin mexicanos.
Solve the nation's obesity problem? I didn't know Cheetos actually grew on plants. I've always thought they were styrofoam and orange colored powder. Oh, and salt. I guess they add that after they're picked.
Actually, there's a simple solution: convert all these fields to grow pot instead of food. Come harvest time, people will flock to Georgia to help, like they do here in Cali, for the price of a little kind bud and a nice spot in the yard to pitch their tents and hold nightly drum circles. Problem solved.
You're a motha-fukkin genius!
(Seriously.)
After the first harvest, Georgians will be so mellow they won't give a fuck who's illegal and who isn't. Then they'll think about the universe for a while, and go on to found the world's most innovative computer industry, just like those damn San Francisco hippies.
Ron? Ron Paul? Is that you?
Hey, where'd the farmer's daughter go? She was here just a minute ago.
If I act fast, maybe I can get a job as foreman of the New Slave Society!
Oh, wait, I'm white. Godammit, it's always something.
You can still be an overseer.
Aaaha, fuck the Gipper, this win's for me!
'Farming the crop insurance' is long-standing tradition of the proud, independent American farmer…
Governor: How about instead of fast moving immigrant pickers, you have slow-moving, angry rapists on probation on your farm? Is it a deal?
Today we are all Georgians.
Except the people in Alaska, who are Soviet Georgians.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byn6egvAxkM
I wish they'd consider coming up here to Michigan. We've got a thriving fruit industry on our West Coast, and we're hurting for population.
Are you referring to those "urban farms" that Bank of America started?
I wish Palin would cram a few, straight from the freezer. That's what I wish.
At least the fools don't grow the Medical Marijuana supply.
If that's the crop you'll find people who will work for twinkies.
Brace for "It's the fault of the lazy blacks", followed by press-ganging people as they run out of unemployment…
Not only that, but I bet everyone's house is a mess and their yards have gone to seed.
You'll have to forgive the Georgian legislators, most of whom expected the problem to be solved by slave labor.
"Georgia needs them, relies on them, and cannot successfully support the state’s No. 1 economic engine without them.”
This has been the case for the entire US for most of the last 400 years.
"Georgia needs them, relies on them, and cannot successfully support the state’s No. 1 economic engine without them.”
And yet, somehow, is unwilling to do/pay whatever is necessary to keep them.
I love it when the Teatards manage to fuck themselves. Granted I'm always saying that they should go fuck themselves yet when they actually do it, it's like Christmas.
Add me to the HA-squad!
I just feel sorry for all the honest people making a living that have to uproot their lives, but there more than welcome up here in Michigan if they can take the cold during winter.
I saw this movie once, and here we go. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dg4YfnGuvTw&fe...
Fucked over by their own hatred. I can live with that…
Cool Hand Luke could solve this problem.
Smells like… victory.
hey, what about putting all those freeloading seniors to work? And what about those dang kids? get off your patooties and pick some fruities!
I think I love you!
The law of unexpected consequences has always been a mystery to Gubner Deal considering especially the fact that he is still under investigation by the FBI for suspected illegal activity while a Congressman. He may well find himself sweating his ample, doughy ass off in a Georgia Lettuce field as a Federal Probationer. One can only hope, anyway.
Oh, do go on. What is he being investaged for, specifically? This could get very entertaining.
He owns (may have divested himself) a vehicle inspections company (heavy equipment, trucks, etc.) and had a lucrative contract with his constituent State (Ga) which it is alleged he acquired and maintained through improper influence. Also some allegations re. air travel (for campaign purposes) through a Company in which he had a financial interest. The Congressional Ethics Committee was up to its armpits in Deal deals when he skipped to run for Gubner of Gawja. FBI apparently still snooping around. My personal belief is that he as is crooked as a dog's hind leg; we may find out.
I think you need a drink and a day off. For your own good, honestly.
You know for whom this is bad news?
Felipe Calderon. Not all, but a fair number of those Mexicans will be returning home, jobless, &, well… Why aren't the neoliberal paymasters of the GOP looking out for their neoliberal allies outside the border.
De rienda suelta a la Maquina de Guerra, Felipito! Retoma el Alamo!
Weinering takes priority over piddling little issues like jobs, immigration, and food supply. That's Journalism 101.
I was talking to a libertarian fucktard co-worker about this today.
He said ' The problem in the US is we don't have enough hunger. If there was more hunger then people would work in fields so they could eat instead of collecting foodstamps'
I informed him of the current requirements that require you to be dirt poor with no assets in your name ,including selling your car and he said 'Oh really, I didn't know that' and shut the fuck up. He operates on the Cadillac driving welfare queen myth from the 80's. Same guy that has 7 kids that he does not have health insurance for and skipped out the anethesiologist bill for the last kid because the tech would not negotiate for a lower price.
Betcha this asswipe gets SCHIP for his kids, too.
Wow, just imagine how AWESOME this epic clusterfuck must look to all those hundreds of millions of Third World folks currently struggling with already-exorbitant food prices.
AMERIKA, FUCK YEAH!
Lo, for I saw a Teatard mounted on a pale hobbyhorse, & the name of him that rode upon it was Dipshit. To him was given power over all the clueless & the willfully blind, to wreak a great idiocy & folly upon the land … & lo, the Koch Brothers looked upon their agribusiness stocks & calculated the net profit from a mighty price increase befalling them, & it was good (for them).
Plainly, the GOP is in the pocket of Big Locust.
Well finding all those ways to avoid taxes, while screwing with your employees compensation and pensions does get tiring, more bourbon and branch if you please.
I'm willing to bet there are any number of conservative bloggers, including Georgia's own Erick Son of Erick, who'd be willing to step in and prove the triumph of their ideology by harvesting the crops. At least until John McCain's army of people eager for that sort of work at those wages arrives by flying unicorn.
Hey there, Historically Literate Wonkeratii:
I've got only a Sunday-Schoolers' familiarity with the Old Testament and the King James. I've read of the standard-brand Plague of Frogs, Locusts and the dispatch of Winged Henchmen to murder children.
However, I've never come across a civilization destroyed by a Plague of Morons.
Is this buried somewhere in the Old Testament? Is there a Book of Assholes?
If not, I think it's fucking well time to write one.
& the problem with the Northern migration to Georgia is it doesn't change the fact that the state's power structure is entitled crackers. People said Yanks moving south would enlighten, but it only got worse.
"entitled crackers"
This is good.
This is REAL good.
*memorizes*
Does Atlanta still call itself "The City Too Busy to Hate"?
That always struck me as more time-management problem than ethics.
/Nelson Muntz/
HAH ha!!
\Nelson Muntz\
"Some of those brats have high hopes…don't they?"
I once had a student — a nice enough person, not a brat — tell me with a straight face that they HAD to make AT LEAST 70K a year when they graduated. At the time, I was fortyish and making 20K a year. I said something generic like, "Yeah, hey, that's great!", but I'll admit to being quite nonplussed.
Wasn't that back when our Republican Masters tried to pass some sort of a "get teh brownz outa Kal-ee-for-nee-yuh" bill?
I'd like to half apologize for the rant. As a black Michigander, the only thing you hear from friends and relatives is "Hotlanta, this" "Hotlanta, that" and it gets crazy annoying, as if the South is some kind of return to the Promised Land. There is no humility down there, anymore, it's total overcompensation for all the years the North treated them as Third Worlders, but it doesn't make the bragging any more palatable. The petal is finally coming off the rose, though, and I'd be lying if I'm not enjoying it.
I'm sure Atlanta is a nice place, but the residents have taken on an obnoxiousness second only to NYC, the difference being, of course, is that NYC can back up its obnoxiousness with a legitimately world class city.
Another prime example of how these "Hot button" policies (and I use the word loosely) look and sound so good to so many dupes.
But when supplies fall and prices go up even faster, nobody seems to be very happy.
I can hope this teaches some very silly people in Georgia a good stiff lesson. But somehow, the half wits who put this idea into operation seem to be beyond both learning and hope.
"agriculturally successful, progressive and prosperous."
How's that workin' for y'all now…?
Am I missing something here?
If they want people to pick their goddamn crops, pay them a wage that will make them willing to pick crops. Offer $20 an hour in Georgia, and you'll get takers.
If they can't profitably get the crops harvested by paying workers a wage they're willing to accept, and can only profitably harvest them by using forced, prison, illegal or semi-slave prison labor, then they should find a more profitable use for the land, because their current crop is clearly not profitable under anything approaching a reasonable economic system.
That's it!
Thank you. I never got past the Book of Armaments – I kept counting to Four.
It's like Colony Collapse Disorder, only with Messicans.
I checked it out-what a hoot! Reality doesn't just lap satire, it spins at about 50,000 rpm. They do get emotional about their sausage down there don't they?
How's a simple 800-lb Texas man supposed to feed his family a couple dozen eggs and T-bone steaks every morning when alls he's got is these little 12-oz sausages? And don't even get me started on that Maple-n-Sage crap. I'm not from the North!
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