Deep dish fan Herman Cain is very offended that anybody would take some ludicrous words he said at face value, which is something only racists do. Teevee comedian Jon Stewart made fun of a weird, pointless thing Herman Cain said about how he will not allow bills longer than three pages through Congress. Cain said, “I am only going to allow small bills — three pages. You’ll have time to read that one over the dinner table.” Stewart made fun of this inane statement, prompting Cain to call Stewart a racist who hates black conservatives. This is how we will define racism from now on, starting today: any time you quote someone saying stupid things, you are a racist. (Everyone is racist against Sarah Palin!)
From Cain’s speech in Iowa, reported by ThinkProgress:
I said, well, Sean [Hannity], first of all if [Stewart] really thinks that I’m serious about a bill only being three pages the joke’s on him. And I said secondly as far as him mocking me look I’ve been called every name in the book because I’m a conservative, because I’m black.
Sticks and stone may break my bones, words are not going to hurt me. I was on that radio show because a happen to be an American black conservative. I labeled myself. I’m an American Black Conservative, an A-B-C. They keep trying to put labels on me. I have been called “Uncle Tom,” “sell out,” “Oreo,” “shameless.” So the fact that he wants to mock me because I happen to be a black conservative, in the words of my Grandfather, “I does not care. I does not care.”
What does any of this mean? Stewart doesn’t even actually call Cain any names in the segment. Whatever, nobody is allowed to criticize that black Obama guy, so they aren’t allowed to criticize Herman Cain, either. [ThinkProgress]