is there such a thing as snowbilly rehab?

Sarah Palin Says She Only Kind of Quit Bus Tour, Also Quits Trip To Sudan

finally, they are paying attention againQuitting addict Sarah Palin is furious, on Facebook, that everyone figured out she quit her bus tour. Stopping the bus does not mean “quit.” It means, snowbillies need to take a vacation from their vacations sometimes. Palin was called home for “jury duty,” which is an Alaskan euphemism for salmon fishing and getting drunk. “Uh, our bad?” says the media. “So when’s the bus tour starting up again?” “Yeah, sometime soon,” she said. Uh, okay. That sounds like quitting. Did she take the decals off the bus already? That is the test. Whatever. Sarah Palin is not a quitter. OH WAIT YES SHE IS. Lest you fear you could not call her The World’s Biggest Quitter anymore, she has also cancelled her trip to Sudan next month with Rev. Franklin Graham because of… uh, what’s the usual one… “scheduling reasons,” whatever that euphemism means.

WaPo reports:

Palin scrapped her visit to the North African country for scheduling reasons, several sources close to her said. She was planning to travel with Franklin Graham, the son of evangelical leader Billy Graham, as well as Fox News personality Greta Van Susteren, to the July 9 independence ceremony of South Sudan, the sources said. Van Susteren also canceled her trip. Graham said on Wednesday that he still plans to go.

Greta and Sarah, they are *LIKE THIS* and so if Sarah is not going, neither is Greta. Sudan no longer exists. Everything is back to normal. [Facebook/ WaPo]

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  1. Barb

    I see that she gave high props to her daughter's book, natch. She might want to check her caller ID though for Hillary's call once she finds out that Bristol compared herself to Hillary, Jennifer Aniston and Diana, Princess of Wales in that "they all fell for the bad boy"

    1. jus_wonderin

      "Fell for for the bad boy"

      Or…dropped on her back like an unsnapped wishbone to take the "bad boy"?

    2. OneDollarJuana

      I'd hardly call the Prince of Wales a "bad boy". "Slacker philanderer", maybe. "Undeserving inbreed", maybe. But not "bad boy".

        1. Barb

          Native, Meghan and Bristol got into a twitter spat and I didn't think to take a screen shot of it before Bristol erased what she wrote "Your mom wanted to be FLOTUS more than your dad wanted to be POTUS" It was gone 2 minutes later.

          We're supposed to leave the Palin political props alone and allow them to do anything they damned well please.

        2. tessiee

          "would a prince use wine coolers to date rape with or something fancier?"

          He would decant a rare and costly vintage of wine from the royal cellars, then add Cherry Diet Coke.

        3. Rotundo_

          Nah, they have "people" to do that sort of thing for them: Find the bimbo, get her properly liquored up, drop her off to Bonny Prince (Phillin DeBlanc) for a good fucking, deposit the hungover sloppy seconds (or alternate number) off at her appartment in a non-ostentatious sedan so as to not draw attention. Rinse Lather Repeat.

    3. Nothingisamiss

      Holy shit, Barb, you're not READING this for us, are you?! That is one hella wonketteer, there, girl.

      I expect a full report. Please don't hurt your brain/soul if you are reading this dreck.

    4. fuflans

      bristol thinks bill clinton, brad pitt and prince charles are bad boys?

      huh. i would have gone with colin farrell but maybe that's just me.

  2. memzilla

    she has also cancelled her trip to Sudan because of… "scheduling reasons”

    Translation: Sudan has low grifting opportunities.

    1. MildMidwesterner

      In more uplifting news, the Sudanese finally have something to be happy about.

      1. SorosBot

        They've still got to deal with that douchebag Franklin Graham trying to "save" them, though.

    2. berkeleyfarm

      Has she been seen in public since she quit the trip? I wonder if she had some work done in Scottsdale and the "schedule" is her "recovery from bruises" one.

  3. GunToting[Redacted]

    She must have worked out that Greta was going to be hanging out with Todd while Sarah was kicking around the desert with Billy's kid (Lou Graham?).

  4. tihond

    You never count your money/
    When you're sitting at the table/
    There'll be time enough for countin'/
    When the Griftin' is done

  5. Lucidamente1

    "Khartoum? Well of course I like Khartoums. I grew up watchin' that Bugs Bunny, and Road Runner was a real hoot. Now Piper, she likes Spongebob, and I know you're thinkin' he's gay, but he's not."

  6. lefty74

    "Good to know fishing season is coming around again" said Todd.
    "Sarah hasn't clubbed my halibut for at least 8 months."

      1. Noman

        If it weren't for double standards, libunatics would have none.

        This of course is your cue to post some libunatic smear dating back to the Reagan or Nixon eras, or maybe something about Bush's daughters or his wife's teenage auto accident or maybe about someones Vietnam-era draft status.

        Yep, gotta love them 2X standards.

        1. horsedreamer_1

          Only yesterday did I realize, when you write "libunatics", as in "liberal lunatics", it is to be said "luh-boo-na-tiks". I had been saying it "lib-you-nah-tics", as if it were an advanced math or pseudoscience (think: Dianetics).

          & let me just say: it's even dumber saying it the correct way.

          1. Noman

            Thank you for getting into detail concerning the pronunciation of the word libunatic.

            I pronounce it "lih-boo-na-tik" rather than "luh….", but if you prefer the latter, I think that's equally good.

          2. DemmeFatale

            Not very good, is it? I don't think "libunatic" is very catchy, no matter how you pronounce it.
            (Although, it may be good enough for them.)

        2. SorosBot

          How is talking about someone's Vietnam draft status a double standard? The thing is, the likes of Bush, Cheney, Rush, Quayle et al. all were on the wrong side. They actually supported the Vietnam clusterfuck, and yet used their power and connection to dodge the draft anyway so poor kids could be forced to die for no good reason. That's different people who were on the right side making a principled stand against that dirty war, and incidentally risking jail time, while also protesting and helping to bring about the end that finally came.

          1. Noman

            Are you talking about the Vietnam war started and escalated by Democrats Kennedy & Johnson and resolved by Republican Nixon – that Vietnam war?

          2. SorosBot

            And your point? Get this straight, unlike you right-wingers who march in lockstep to your party we liberals do not reflexively support anything done by a Democratic President. Just look at how we criticize Obama for giving in to the Republicans.

          3. Noman

            You project that I always support everything done or said by Republicans. That's a false assumption.

            There is a tremendous amount of group-think and herd mentality in most if not all political groups. Progressives & liberals delude themselves when they say otherwise.

          4. boolean_radley

            It would be ridiculous to argue that Reactionaries and conservatives are immune from what you refer to as "group-think."

          5. Noman

            "It would be ridiculous to argue that Reactionaries and conservatives are immune from what you refer to as "group-think." "

            That's why I did not claim that. You projected it upon me. Projection is fundamental to libunacy.

            Note that I posted:

            "There is a tremendous amount of group-think and herd mentality in most if not all political groups."

            This of course includes conservative political groups as well. You chose to misrepresent what I said.

          6. prommie

            Ironically, there is also much lockstep group-think among "individualist" "libertarians." As well as snide, smug, and undeserved condescension. There are few things more amusing that watching an idiot (like Palin) get all smug and superior, convinced that any ideas or concepts they fail to comprehend must perforce be wrong, otherwise they would understand it. Fetus-lovers and creationists are like that a lot, too.

          7. GOPCrusher

            You mean that little brouhaha in Chicago during the Democratic National Convention really didn't happen?
            Or are you saying that the protesters where all card carrying Republiklans?
            I haz a confused.

        3. Chillwaver

          Okay, Noman….you are either a complete snark genius and you've got us all fooled or you are a humorless moron trying really hard to sound smart. I'm guessing it's the latter….

          1. jus_wonderin

            LOL. Liberals are, at once, are low life slackers sucking on the teet of government or elite superiors that look down on defenseless Conservatives. You guys can't even get your talking points corralled.

          2. SorosBot

            I'm still not sure how being part of the intellectual elite is supposed to be a bad thing. Yeah, I look down on morons who think the Earth is only 6,000 years old because an old book says so, or are completely wrong on history because they believe the ridiculous lies a fat drug addict on the radio told them, because they are stupid and deserve to be looked down on.

          3. Noman

            It is true that a person can exhibit a sense of superiority that is not justified, n'est-ce-pas?

            You remind us of the fundamental libunatic need to segregate people rather than to focus on commonalities.

        4. zhubajie

          Libunatic describes most of the libertarians I've met. Liberals are merely rational people who don't want to be slaves of conservacrooks!

      2. BaldarTFlagass

        It might have been a little bit funnier if the actual number of states Obama gave (57) had been used in the original "joke." Keywords: "might", "little bit".

        Also, "libunatics" really doesn't flow off the tongue very smoothly. Anytime you add a syllable it really fucks up the rhythm. Perhaps you should call us "lunalibs" or something like that.

        1. Noman

          Dear Leader said he visited 57 states, skipped two (Alaska and Hawaii), and still had one state to visit.
          57 states visited

          plus two states skipped

          plus one more state to visit

          = 60 states in the USA.
          Thanks for the "lunalibs" suggestion, but the image of being mooned by bunch of liberals reminds me of when I used to work in the Castro District…

          1. Tundra Grifter

            At the risk of offering a fact, there were 56 Democratic primaries in 2008. That was obviously the number a tired Mr. Obama had in mind when he mis-spoke.

            Meanwhile, is our children learning? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you!

          2. mumbly_joe

            Right, which is why I was saying that ironically.

            Incidentally, "OLD MEME" and "people sometimes say dumb things sometimes, don't you have anything of substance?" didn't become mutually exclusive when I wasn't paying attention, I'm pretty sure. That's why I favor "NEEDS MOAR TELEPROMTERZ/BIRF CERTIFCATS" personally- it's a nice way to hit both the no-substance and irreleveant idiocy points simultaneously, don't you agree?

          3. Tundra Grifter

            Actually, you're quite wrong. Those never get old.

            There's an essential difference between a classic and a cliche.

          4. TheMightyHaltor

            Do you honestly, in your heart of hearts, believe that Barack Obama thinks or ever thought there are 57 (or 60) states?

            If the answer is "yes", you're a fucking idiot.

            If the answer is "no", why the fuck are you bringing it up?

          5. Noman

            "Do you honestly, in your heart of hearts, beleieve that Barack Obama thinks or ever thought there are 57 (or 60) states? "

            The point is that libunatics give zero slack to their opponents while giving themselves infinite slack.

            If they realized this, that would be less unpleasant, but they falsely assert they are above using double standards.

            Without double standards, libunatics would have none.

    1. Beowoof

      She hit all the Canadian states, but missed the Mexican ones, cause the are trying to steal her job.

    2. baconzgood

      Say what you will about Troll, at least he punches in and shows up before he down fists us blindly (unlike other trolls). Plus he makes me feel more smartest. Sort of like hanging about fat people to make yourself feel thin. Carry the torch of the libertarian crazy troll. Carry that torch.

      1. BlueMonkeh

        I like our troll. He's letting his phreak flag fly in the icon, too. Maybe the closet is getting too crowded over at notSoBrightFart.

        1. DashboardBuddha

          Same here. He's a misguided, hateful, pants pissing troll. But, he's OUR misguided, hateful, pants pissing troll.

          1. DashboardBuddha

            I think all we're gonna get from this one is leg humping.. Or, did you mean turn a few tricks?

      2. Noman

        " Plus he makes me feel more smartest."

        I'm glad you feel more smartest. To use your term, that's the "cenergy" effect of a forum.

        1. GOPCrusher

          Is this that Gay Agenda that the Republiklans are so concerned about having jammed down their throats?
          I've heard about it, but never witnessed it first hand before.

          1. ArmoredBore

            I have no idea what this agenda is they're always talking about. Or why I'm suddenly feeling so hot and bothered.

    3. Billmatic

      I wanted to make sure every state had a reply!

      By the way I was wondering, did you come up with "libunatic" by yourself or did you pick it up from the same guy that coined "sheeple" because it's just as effective at getting your point across!

      I was also wondering if you knew "The Stench of Liberalism" he was a user that used to follow me around and I miss him. He gave the best head.

      1. Noman

        I came up w/ "libunatic" on my own but it's entirely possible others did the same, independently. When I started using the phrase, there were zero hits on any of the search engines.

        1. Billmatic

          Golly! It's about the cleverest thing since Clever went to Clevertown and had relations with Mrs. Clever!

          1. Gleem_McShineys

            'Had relations?' Surely you should coin some word for sex, make it a stilted unfunnytated phraseterm and endlesslypeat it, so you could jack off to your Google hit count?

            "Clevernicate" is probably too catchy.
            We could use someone with some true innate inability, here.

    4. mumbly_joe


      also too the Whitey Tape. Whatever happened to *that* particular idiotic meme?

    5. fuflans

      i think i can safely add:

      This entire blog can be shipped to Afghanistan, no one has lost any

    6. comrad_darkness

      Quick, how many different U.S. geographic areas are represented in Congress?

      EEEER. Wrong.

    7. ArmoredBore

      By the maker, did I actually just read this crap thread? I need some Ritalin and a slap to the face, STAT!

  7. baconzgood

    I have to cancell my snark on this because of “scheduling reasons” and "jury duty".



  8. DaRooster

    Good to see Sarah can continue on with something… finally… the quitting that is.

  9. donner_froh

    Reasons for Sarah Palin not to go to Sudan:
    1) The central government is too busy slaughtering its citizens in Darfur and preparing for war with the newly independent South Sudan to pay attention to her.

    2) Omar al-Bashir hates the U.S., especially since he is the first head of state anywhere to be indicted for war crimes.

    3) Someone finally told her Sudan is in Africa. And you know what type of people live there.

    1. Rotundo_


  10. LiveToServeYa

    It should be fun to see if her compulsive attention whore grandstanding while on the jury gets her slapped with contempt of court. It will be a three ring circus. There will be clowns.

    1. V572 [SSAN]

      Imagine yourself has a defense attorney with a limited number of peremptory challenges. Would you not most certainly use one of them to kick Alaskunt off the jury panel?

      1. AJWjr.

        Depends on the crime, I suppose. Or the criminal. Trapp is back from the war, isn't he? Maybe he got caught in some crime involving guns, or bells, or something, and who better to hear his case than that cunt?

  11. Biel_ze_Bubba

    No tour, no trip … so the "news" here is that Sarah is not in the news.
    Just. Fucking. Amazing. Can we please, PLEASE just ignore her now? PLEASE??? Before my head explodes out of sheer disgust and aggravation?

    The English language, rich as it is, needs a new word, for the combination of disgust and aggravation, bordering on homicidal rage, engendered by the likes of Palin, Beck, and other high-profile, high-impact, low-IQ media-whoring imbeciles. I'm taking suggestions.

    1. Nothingisamiss

      I actually like hearing about this contemptible griftasaurus, as long as she has no impact on the down ward spiral our country is on. I give you high, high p-ness, however, for "high-profile, high-impact, low-IQ media whoring imbecile." That is a class-A sentence, perfectly distilling the lot of them.

    2. tessiee

      Well, anger should be directed at a worthy target, so it's too honorable for these dimwits…

  12. ManchuCandidate

    If you were smart (and you're not) Lou Sarah, you would have had a "Snow Queen For Preznit" telethon. Would have saved you all that time, effort and hijacking a bus and painting it like it were black velvet.

  13. BaldarTFlagass

    The Good Sam RV Club refused their application for membership, so they said "Fuck it."

  14. hollywooddood

    And to think some people want this moronic ingrate to run for president. Has anyone told Sarah the presidency lasts four years?

    1. GunToting[Redacted]

      These are the same people who think, "Wow, she's a scatterbrained fuckup with kids who get drunk and knocked up! She's just like me!" I wonder if the same people would want an alcoholic surgeon with Bell's palsy performing their vasectomy?

      There are many jobs where "just like me" or "would be fun to have a beer with" should NOT be a job qualification.

      1. BlueMonkeh

        I always thought the president should be smarter than me. Because if he/she is not smarter than me, well, we're screwed.

      2. finallyhappy

        Yes, that was written a lot(on PUMA and other right wing stupid blogs) during the election. I thought it pointed out how incredibly dumb people were- and worry for America.

      3. GOPCrusher

        I made it a life rule not to vote for someone who's daughter fucks after drinking wine coolers.
        Odd, you say? But it has served me well over the years.

  15. mumbly_joe

    Assuming she's telling the truth (come on she's obviously not, because she's saying things), I hope the judge has the foresight to seat an alternate juror, for when she quits halfway through.

    1. Beowoof

      Most judges would frown on someone quitting the jury halfway through a trial. I would encourage Sarah to quit and then enjoy her being frog marched out the court room to go and serve her 30 days for contempt. Not nearly enough time, but a wonderful thought just the same.

    1. tcaalaw

      I'm assuming she would be disqualified because when she's asked on voir dire whether she's read anything in the papers about the case, she'll say she's read all of them.

        1. horsedreamer_1

          "There's a demon in me".

          "Yes, it's true. He has semen in him".

          "I said 'demon'".

          "Sure, but, remember, at that club…"

          "Not relevant, Alan".

    1. Beowoof

      With Greta, there is a serious plastic surgery residue yuck factor there. I would rather do Todd's snow mobile seat than Greta.

      1. prommie

        If you are a dood, and you would do Greta, that means you are gay, not that there is anything wrong with that. Thats what she said, anyway.

  16. MrFizzy

    She would have been a hit in Sudan, with her $300 haircuts, silk suits and porcelain veneers.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      And to celebrate, the Janjaweed are going to hold a ceremonial massacre of Darfurians in Sarah's honor.

    2. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Not true … they were planning on her presence to help roll out a helicopter-hunting industry. Tourism in Sudan needs a draw, and that was going to be it.

      1. ChessieNefercat

        I've seen mealworms that were relativity experts compared to ol' halibut head.

    1. prommie

      And whenever they learn something new, they think they were the first person to ever learn it, and that this confirms their genius. W used to ooze that smug, show-offy attitude whenever he would trot out some nugget of nformation his staff finally got through his skull.

  17. OneYieldRegular

    So what's Palin doing pallin' around with radical preacher Franklin Graham, known bigot/Christian Supremist?

    1. comrad_darkness

      Christian without the Supremist wouldn't work, would it? If you didn't think you had the best inside line on the cloud and harp and Jeebus blessings wouldn't you have already changed to the church that did?

    2. ChessieNefercat

      "So what's Palin doing pallin' around with radical preacher Franklin Graham, known bigot/Christian Supremist?"

      According to the tabloids, what Lou Sarah is doing with Franklin is Franklin.

    3. zhubajie

      Further evidence she's just Bush in a dress! FG and GWB plotted to send every survivor of the Shock&Awe campaign a box of food with a tract in it, urging them to Come to Jesus! I heard FG interviewed about this on BBC World Service! It was amazing. Someone pointed out to him that Jesus was a Middle East guy, very well known in Iraq for millenia!

  18. Boredw/Gravitas

    *Sigh* Sarah, just go away. Stay in Alaska and leave the rest of us alone (sorry, Alaska).

    1. mumbly_joe

      Oh jesus christ please tell me they didn't find someone even more insufferable than Pauly Shore to star in the remake of Jury Duty

      1. SorosBot

        EW. And then there's the factor that they're both members of insane cults (Scientology & Assemblies of God).

      1. Native_of_SL_UT

        Is this penis envy or can you just not get that penis off your mind?
        I'm glad you stop fapping over Anthony's penis long enough to come here and amuse us.

  19. Goonemeritus

    “Scheduling reasons” was my favorite excuse when my biker friends would invite me to their annual “Reign of Terror ride”

  20. Beowoof

    She has minions to do that shift for her while she is busy counting her cash and watching Real housewives of Wasilla.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      Real Housewives of Wasilla

      (Hell's Angels by Hunter Thompson – motorcycles) * Sweet Valley High + The Turner Diaries/Keystone Cops = RHOW

  21. SorosBot

    Maybe she quit the Sudan because the littlest girl (Piper?) learned something about the civil war there and refused to be her human shield this time.

  22. jus_wonderin

    Ya know, it could be that Sarah just had to be back in AK when the oil check hit the mailbox.

  23. BaldarTFlagass

    Yeah, no shit. I've rescheduled jury duty calls several times, a couple times just because I was gonna be on vacation. And I'm not even (in)famous.

  24. OneYieldRegular

    To paraphrase Billy Wilder: The show started at 8. Three hours later, I looked at my watch. It was 8:15.

  25. SpurningBeer

    The real reason that Sarah is not going to South Sudan is that the lamestream media were poised to attack her yet again. The following verse had already been circulating among the international press:

    An Alaskan on tour in Khartoum
    Took a lesbian up to her room.
    They argued all night
    As to who had the right
    To do what, and with which, and to whom.

    1. user-of-owls

      Option One: SpurningBeer is the unique author of this verse.
      Conclusion: Unmitigated Genius.

      Option Two: SpurningBeer went to that wack Tenth Amendment site and, as dictated by NJ law, cut and pasted this limerick.
      Conclusion: Unmitigated Genius plus More Irony Than Basquiat.

      1. SpurningBeer

        Third option: SpurningBeer's genius is mitigated. The limerick is a classic one, slightly edited. This one is original, though:

        The conservative blogosphere waits
        To see powers returned to the states.
        Spurning Beer thinks that whites
        Who believe in States Rights
        Are obsessives with paranoid traits.

    1. natoslug

      How does an unemployed grifter have "scheduling conflicts"? Holds about as much weight as me calling in to work explaining "I'm sorry, but I can't code today — my new bong needs to be broken in."

  26. SorosBot

    You also have to swear to be fair and impartial, two things the wingnut Queen is completely incapable of.

  27. Weenus299

    I was hoping she'd visit some Civil War battlefields in Maryland and Virginia, where she could talk about how both armies fought the liberals so they could keep their guns.

  28. BaldarTFlagass

    With what is probably the attention span of an autistic grasshopper, I can't imagine she made it through the second commercial break, but perhaps someone told her about what happened to Chuckles Heston in Khartoum at the end of that movie about "Chinese" Gordon. He was pretty much an attention whore, too.

  29. Limeylizzie

    He is the same troll who follows about 950 people and has about 3 followers. he seems a trifle needy, non?

    1. zhubajie

      Has no personal life. Perhaps is interested in a job picking fruit and veg in Georgia?

    1. SorosBot

      "High-Paying Green Jobs promised by Dear Leader"? When did Sarah Palin ever promise high-paying green jobs?

    2. baconzgood

      Sheesh. You Republicans…..Such sore loosers. "If I don't win I want to secede!!!". Sorry your party is in such shambles. Hey but that is what happens when you turn the crazy up 11.

      1. Noman

        "Sheesh. You Republicans…..Such sore loosers. "If I don't win I want to secede!!!"."

        Remember the exodus threatened by Hollywood limousine liberals if Bush was to win a second term?

        1. baconzgood

          The didn't call for 2nd amendment remedies did they? Frankly alot of what is comming from the far right could be construed as treasonous. Even YOU can admit that.

        2. TheMightyHaltor

          Well, now you've certainly embarrassed all zero of the Hollywood limousine liberals that frequent this site.

          1. Noman

            "….Hollywood limousine liberals that frequent this site."

            s/b "who frequent this site."

            You're welcome, Mr. Superior Elite Libunatic.

          2. baconzgood

            Is that the bestest yous can comes up wit. Correcting our spelling and grammer and whats not?

          3. Noman

            I'm sure there is someone who thinks you deserve his best effort, but that someone don't not ain't be's mysef. Nohow.

            I'm sure you jump all over libunatics here when they go after non-libunatics who make typos or spelling errors. Or, like a typical libunatic, do you exhibit a set of extreme double standards? Hypocrite much?

          4. Tommmcattt

            Given your best effort is not likely to be much good anyway it's really not much a loss.

            Why are you over here anyway? You must like the abuse. Although I would act out the low-self esteem my political viewpoint required if I were a conservative too, I suppose.

        3. problemwithcaring

          Remember the exodus threatened by Hollywood limousine liberals if Bush was to win a second term?

          More Righttard false equivalences. What part of some one threatening to exert their free will and change citizenship is equal to committing treason by threatening to secede from the federal union and incite the overthrow of the Constitutionally elected US government?

  30. genxr

    Also, tell my boss I didn't quit my job. I'm going to stay home and read wonkette for the next few weeks, just to keep 'em guessing!

    She didn't lose in 2008, either, she just took a break from winning.

  31. smitallica

    Well, she'll probably be dismissed from the jury anyway for already knowing too much about the case.

    Oh, wait.

  32. Limeylizzie

    Well , yes, I think he may not have a life other than what we see of him, of course that could apply to us as well.

  33. horsedreamer_1

    Billy Graham:Fred Koch, Sr.::David & Charles Koch:Franlklin Graham.

    In other words, it only gets worse.

  34. SorosBot

    Or just turning it into something that makes sense. Dear Leader works for Palin, and Bush before her, because of the way wingnuts treat them like a religious figure they worship and can do no wrong; using it for Obama makes absolutely no sense. What's the joke there?

    1. Doktor Zoom

      Don't you know? A few people were unrealistically elated about Obama, and therefore everyone who voted for him is a cultist.

      1. tessiee

        That's the way those Socialists operate, you know; they hypnotize everybody until their eyes turn into spirals and they shuffle around all brainwashed 'n'stuff.

  35. DashboardBuddha

    Thank god he didn't say meteorite instead of meteor or comet or whatever. We'd never hear the end of it. Oh wait…we AREN'T hearing the end of it.

  36. ttommyunger

    Famous Alaskan Half-Quit Sarah Palin was prolly embarrassed to be seen with Ugly Greta and Prodigal Son Fuckwad turned Preacher Graham. I would call it a draw as to whom should be most embarrassed by the others. I don't detect a drop of Humanity among the three of them.

    1. Beowoof

      Me either. Although there are good things about the area, that 9 month winter just sucks.

      1. LocalGirlMakesGoo

        Everyone here seems to have a creepy agenda, but the food at Sinbad's is excellent!

        1. Beowoof

          Ristorante Lucano out on East Avenue, real Italian food, best I have ever had. This is hard right wing country so the creepy agenda thing is understood. They always seem to be finding some way to drain the county coffers of cash. My favorite one so far is the airport authority spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on premium cigars.

          1. LocalGirlMakesGoo

            I've heard about this place. Max's Chop House (on Monroe Ave) also comes highly recommended, even though I'm kind of wishy-washy about meat. I hear they have a Tuesday-night $40-for-two special involving dry-aged steaks and all-you-can-drink wine.

            I grew up in South Africa, spent most of my adult years in SF & Oakland, CA. Rochester is like a weird mix of the two. There's a huge cultural/racial divide, but without the politics. Making a visit to the County Office Building feels a lot like venturing into a "Freetown" in Durban. You're welcome, but you're not wanted.

        2. AutomaticPilot

          Yes, we live within walking distance of Sinbads and are regulars there. I actually like it here, though.

  37. TX_Bluebonnets

    "With what is probably the attention span of an autistic grasshopper"

    Vivid, beautiful imagery. Thank you.

    Maybe if Sarah was still on Wasilla's main export–meth–her attention span would be longer?

  38. DemonicRage

    Thank you again Grampy McCain for bringing this wonderful person into our sphere of awareness. Reading about her, day after day, is one of the most rewarding aspects of being alive in the Twenty-first Century, particularly as Eric Cantor has pulled out of the talks in Congress about raising the National Debt Limit, and in about a month, we will be in Greek-style Economic freefall.

    1. GOPCrusher

      Republiklans won't agree to raise the debt ceiling without trillions in spending cuts? Sounds like a good time to start shutting down the Department of War.

    2. fuflans

      for me this is good news. the rest of america will then be catching up with my unemployed state and i won't feel so alone.

  39. Noman

    Sorry, because I'm attending to the queries and challenges posed by dozens of kindergartners, I don't have time to accept homework assignments, as much as I'd like to handle all requests.

  40. Noman

    The proof offered by your quote is that libunatics frequently employ double standards. They give themselves infinite slack while yielding zero to their opponents. That would be OK except many of them don't realize it and think they are above such self-deception.

    And, where's my cracker?

  41. sportshort

    I love her! I simply love her! She is like the girl we used to invite to frat parties who you just KNEW after the fifth drink was gonna take off her clothes and say, "Do these tits make me look fat?" Go Sarah! Team Sarah!

  42. elburritodeluxe

    Sudan is so super hot and humid, it's hell on hair, or in Sarah's case, hairpieces.

  43. SheriffRoscoe

    Jury duty, huh? Yeah that's a pretty good excuse for deferring a vacation. Somehow, that seems backwards though.

  44. user-of-owls

    Sigh. Reports of Tour Demise are Greatly Exaggerated.

    Just like her sense of self-worth.

  45. Buckminster

    Sarah on jury duty?

    She'll be perfect. She can tell a guilty person just by looking at him.

    1. genxr

      "Why does the defendant hate America and pal around with terrorists?"

      "But this is a parking ticket."

      I can't imagine her making the first round of cuts on any jury selection.

    2. ChessieNefercat

      "She'll be perfect. She can tell a guilty person just by looking at him."

      Sure. Takes one to know one.

  46. finallyhappy

    So is this the media ruining poor Piper's vacation again? When will this kid get smart enough to realize it is her mother who is ruining her life?
    I frequently see a mom around here who is out with her baby son who has Down Syndrome. We run into each other at the coffee shop or shopping- and she is always talking to and cuddling her son. I imagine she is also doing a lot of other things with him to help him in all the ways that are important for kids with a disability. I feel bad for Trig having a media whore for a mom instead of someone who having money and time could be helping her son.

    Sorry- old mom here pissed off at some one who is ruining her children.

  47. L188188

    She is quitting her bus tour so that she can better serve buses and bus drivers around this great country of ours and not be, you know, roped in by schedulin' and stuff so that she can make sure the flippin' national parks rangers are still able to bear arms and to make sure buses know that all life is, ya know, precious. And Jesus.

  48. GOPCrusher

    I disagree. He never mentioned that he was ringing those bells when he was visiting those states and territories.
    That has to be a gaffe on a grand scale.

  49. Redhead

    She even quit quitting.

    Now if only she would quit whining and trying to get media attention. That's the only thing she hasn't quit yet…

  50. owhatever

    She is organizing a committee to test the waters on how she can become forewoman of the jury. After a long day in court, she goes home to Todd and Greta and a bearskin rug in front of the fireplace.

  51. Nothingisamiss

    "You mean it's a CITY in Africa? How can there be a country inside of another country? I wasn't told I'd be going to AFRICA, I was told I was going to Sudan."

  52. Doktor Zoom

    King Leopold warned uh, the Congolese that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh by ringing those bells, and um, makin’ sure as he’s riding his boat upriver with Kurtz through the rubber plantations to send those warning shots and skulls that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed. So we could exterminate the brutes.

    1. ChessieNefercat

      "Technically the trip isn't over until they return the RV, so it may last forever. "

      Kinda like the Flying Dutchman?

  53. ChessieNefercat

    "to be fair, if i could figure out how to make 'unemployment' pay the way sarah does, i would totally never go back to work."

    Sadly though, she has all the rest of the republican/baggers convinced that her income and lifestyle are the norm for unemployed people.

  54. problemwithcaring

    Shorter LouWeezy: This is reloading! This is reloading! I am not retreating!

  55. __kth__

    There was another Mick Jones, in Foreigner, which I found confusing at the time. Like, did the Clash guy quit and join Foreigner? Or was he in the American band first, then joined the Clash, and how would that have come to be?

  56. Troglodeity

    Dear employer and family: I'm going to totally blow off any commitments and plans I've previously made for the next three months or so because, you see, I've received a jury summons.

  57. Negropolis

    Sarah Palin planned a trip to Sudan? Seriously? We live in very intersting times. Too intersting if you ask me.

  58. NorthStarSpanx

    It makes absolute sense in Sarah-world where she responds to her being found of violating the State Ethics Act in the Troopergate report by saying, "I'm very grateful, very thankful to be cleared of any wrong-doing of all of 'em, any of 'em frivolous ethics complaints brought against me in my 20 years of governing and with what now I'll re-brand as Tasergate."

  59. jakegittes

    A Bus Tour handmade for the Grifter,
    Jury Duty an excuse for the Quitter,
    Still struggling with history,
    Common knowledge yet a mystery,
    Still for ten dollars she'll take it in the shitter.

Comments are closed.