Quitting addict Sarah Palin is furious, on Facebook, that everyone figured out she quit her bus tour. Stopping the bus does not mean “quit.” It means, snowbillies need to take a vacation from their vacations sometimes. Palin was called home for “jury duty,” which is an Alaskan euphemism for salmon fishing and getting drunk. “Uh, our bad?” says the media. “So when’s the bus tour starting up again?” “Yeah, sometime soon,” she said. Uh, okay. That sounds like quitting. Did she take the decals off the bus already? That is the test. Whatever. Sarah Palin is not a quitter. OH WAIT YES SHE IS. Lest you fear you could not call her The World’s Biggest Quitter anymore, she has also cancelled her trip to Sudan next month with Rev. Franklin Graham because of… uh, what’s the usual one… “scheduling reasons,” whatever that euphemism means.
Palin scrapped her visit to the North African country for scheduling reasons, several sources close to her said. She was planning to travel with Franklin Graham, the son of evangelical leader Billy Graham, as well as Fox News personality Greta Van Susteren, to the July 9 independence ceremony of South Sudan, the sources said. Van Susteren also canceled her trip. Graham said on Wednesday that he still plans to go.