June 21, 2011

Video Update: Miss USA Scholars Not Sure If Evolution Should Be Taught In Schools

by Wonkette Jr. 2:14 pm June 21, 2011

Ugh, and an update to this post.

105 comments 3776 Views

{ 105 comments }

memzilla June 21, 2011 at 2:17 pm

They were the croutons in the primordial soup.

MLHencken June 21, 2011 at 2:28 pm: Don't forget the chives.

finallyhappy June 21, 2011 at 2:17 pm

We should teach make-up , hair and whoring. It works for these girls!

DaRooster June 21, 2011 at 2:21 pm: … and 80s bands…
FlownOver June 21, 2011 at 4:16 pm: … and Governor-of-Alaska wannabe's

ifthethunderdontgetya June 21, 2011 at 2:17 pm

On The Origin Of Speciousness.

(User of Owls tested this remark, and it was rated highly.)
~

Sharkey June 21, 2011 at 2:35 pm

"The Descent of Woman"
(?)

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 21, 2011 at 2:47 pm: I know what she can descend on.

flamingpdog June 21, 2011 at 6:17 pm

Sorry, On the Origin of Feces Burgers is more relevant to today's thoughtful Miss USA wannabe.

Barb June 21, 2011 at 2:19 pm

We shouldn't value anyone's opinion just because they hold the winning ticket in the genetic gene pool lottery.

Miss Georgia seems to think that "students are smarter than ever" Yes, the students of other countries certainly are.

HistoriCat June 21, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Is our students learning?

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 21, 2011 at 2:48 pm: Is our children evoluting?

OkieDokieDog June 21, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Young ladies should be taught how to enhance their boobies, artfully apply makeup, birth babies, and cook. They have no need to know anything about worldly things because the menfolks will take care of all that , so ladies certainly don't need no book lernin' bout evilution such and like.

baconzgood June 21, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Are you married? Do you want to be?

OkieDokieDog June 21, 2011 at 3:21 pm: No. No. And bacon IS good.

Buckminster June 21, 2011 at 4:11 pm

And menfolk should provide for the wimmens' every need, not sit around on the couch with a @#$%^& remote glued to their hand! Now, get out there and make me a sammich!

not that Dewey June 21, 2011 at 9:47 pm: WHERE'S MY FUCKIN TURKEY POT PIE

zhubajie June 21, 2011 at 7:14 pm

Don't forget the private lessons in sexual techniques!

SexySmurf June 21, 2011 at 2:21 pm

But what is Richard Dawkins' view on Brazilian waxes?

not that Dewey June 21, 2011 at 9:47 pm: The Selfish Peen?

EatsBabyDingos June 21, 2011 at 2:22 pm

But al least all these fine young wimmins will get their MRS degree and can look forward to becoming Mrs. Newt IV, Mrs. Newt V, or maybe Mrs. Newt VI if his fat ass lives until next week..

EatsBabyDingos June 21, 2011 at 2:24 pm

Or, if Newtie does the GOP-Mormon thing (it's the latest rage, kids!), maybe they all can be Mrs Newt at once! Happy Fecesmeals, Kidz!

baconzgood June 21, 2011 at 2:26 pm

If I can't believe a chick with perkey tit's and a tight ass…….

x111e7thst June 21, 2011 at 2:27 pm

Shouldn't we just be yelling "show us yer tits"?

SenileAgitation June 21, 2011 at 3:04 pm: Yes.
Peace in our time June 21, 2011 at 3:20 pm: Look what good that did for Ron Paul.

neiltheblaze June 21, 2011 at 2:28 pm

I know that whenever I'm undecided about a particular thorny topic, I try to find out what the current Miss America thinks, and suddenly the path forward is so much clearer.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 21, 2011 at 2:28 pm

We wouldn't want to teach science in schools. That just leads to kids thinking, and that just leads to them becoming Socialist, smoking jazz cigarettes, and having sex with wild jungle music playing.

Much better to avoid science and get knocked up while passed out on wine coolers. That's the American way.

baconzgood June 21, 2011 at 2:32 pm

NEEDS MOAR "GOD BLESS EMERICA" MUSIC.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 21, 2011 at 2:49 pm: I'm sure Sarah taught Bristol to hum that while getting dogged.

Buckminster June 21, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Yup, teach 'em about evolution and the next thing you know, they'll be wanting the vote! 23 Skidoo!

PsycWench June 21, 2011 at 4:30 pm

It could lead them to having sex standing up, which then leads to….dancing.

flamingpdog June 21, 2011 at 6:25 pm: Or man on doggie – new and improved with moar Santorum.

smokefilledroommate June 21, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Miss Iowa "took evolution" in college? I'm guessing she attended a Christian college..

HistoriCat June 21, 2011 at 3:36 pm

You're probably right … but I took Evolution in college. It was a Biology class and very interesting.

zhubajie June 21, 2011 at 7:15 pm

In Iowa, I'm sure the Pork Queen is still more important!

smokefilledroommate June 23, 2011 at 2:19 am: I don't want your cat, you dirty Pork Queen !!

ifthethunderdontgetya June 21, 2011 at 2:28 pm

You can't spell Evilution without Evil.

Just sayin'.
~

flamingpdog June 21, 2011 at 6:27 pm: You can't spell Evelution without Eve.
Or lution, which is almost lotion. Mmmmm, Eve 'n' lotion.

hooray4anything June 21, 2011 at 2:29 pm

I saw this discussed elsewhere and I think the conclusion is that running for Miss America is like running for political office (actually, it's almost the same thing) and that you can't alienate a possible pageant voter or pageant viewer by taking any sort of "controversial" stand so you say something that tries to appease both sides. Considering the average intelligence of anybody who cares about the Miss America pageant, this is probably a smart choice.

chascates June 21, 2011 at 2:30 pm

And what about Sharia law being used in Oklahoma & Alabama???

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 21, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Don't worry, she will fit in just fine in Georgia. They don't take to book learning there.

ifthethunderdontgetya June 21, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Miss Arizona Brittany Brannon – I believe we should teach both sides:

A big fence to keep out the Messicans on that side, and a heavily armed and bigoted militia to beat hell outta them on this side.
~

Buzz Feedback June 21, 2011 at 2:32 pm

titz or gtfo

DerrickWildcat June 21, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Miss USA is only a theory.

CapeClod June 21, 2011 at 2:33 pm

Why do they ask these questions? If they should win, is one of their duties going to be creating a curriculum for the Education Department?

finallyhappy June 21, 2011 at 4:16 pm: Under Margaret Spellings, a distinct possibility- under Arne Duncan- not so much
flamingpdog June 21, 2011 at 6:31 pm: Under the next Republican Prezdint, no more Department of Edumacation.

Also under the next Republican Prezdint, the next Republican First Lady.

SorosBot June 21, 2011 at 2:33 pm

It's strange to see whether or not to teach children basic facts is treated as a controversy. All 49 denialists, if you refuse to believe in evolution you might as well refuse to believe that you lost to one of the two non-moronic contestants.

SmutBoffin June 21, 2011 at 2:39 pm

Sentient beings are just the means by which the Cosmos observes itself.

Apparently, the Cosmos really likes handsome gals in swimwear.

SexySmurf June 21, 2011 at 2:53 pm

If you want me to watch big-titted bottle-blonds make incomprehensible sounds for 15 minutes they have to be straddling a well-endowed black dude while they do it.

SenileAgitation June 21, 2011 at 3:08 pm: Once you try stupid you never go back!

Goonemeritus June 21, 2011 at 2:53 pm

Lets make a deal if Religious nut jobs continue to dictate to scientist what can be taught in schools I say it’s only fair that scientist get a say what clerics teach from the pulpit.

KeepFnThatChicken June 21, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Remember, you're observing a sample of 51 women that came in first place for a "Stand There" competition.

Pop_Socket June 21, 2011 at 3:04 pm

I believe in a negative correlation between beauty and intelligence.

pinkocommi June 21, 2011 at 3:10 pm

The video is so much more enjoyable when watched on mute…. The women are much more beautiful when you keep alive the fantasy that they could be intelligent as well as attractive. The sound in that video just kills the fantasy.

DahBoner June 21, 2011 at 3:10 pm

They are alive because it's easier to trick someone stupid into having sex with you…

DahBoner June 21, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Miss USA Scholars =Teabagger Future Oxygen Morons

Gratuitous World June 21, 2011 at 3:12 pm

yeah, but coke or pepsi?

Noman June 21, 2011 at 3:19 pm: When Barry was a student living in NYC, he sold the former and drank the latter.
SudsMcKenzie June 21, 2011 at 3:56 pm: ALL I WANT IS A PEPSI, …. Steve

OkieDokieDog June 21, 2011 at 3:20 pm

I'd eat Alpo dog fud before I'd eat -in any way imaginable – Donald Trump.
Isn't this one of his pageants aka hooking up with dumb hot chicks?

flamingpdog June 21, 2011 at 6:34 pm: Doin' the old Trump bump-hump-and-dump.

ThundercatHo June 21, 2011 at 3:24 pm

Oh fuck me, seriously? Please tell me that when the Randpocalypse comes they all have to go to Galt's Gulch to breed the next generation of geniuses.

SheriffRoscoe June 21, 2011 at 3:32 pm

Which one's "talent" is blowing the "flute?"

Gopherit June 21, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Miss California needs to breed. All of the Miss Flyovers should be sterilized. That is all.

OneYieldRegular June 21, 2011 at 3:42 pm

"One of the signs of our barbaric age is that ignorance is no longer shameful." – Charles Dantzig

Buckminster June 21, 2011 at 4:08 pm

Miss Arkansas is proof positive that not ALL humans are evolved.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 22, 2011 at 4:01 am: She's the one who infomed us that evolution was never taught in her school. Not saying it would have helped any, but seriously… what fucked-up school did she attend?

finallyhappy June 21, 2011 at 4:17 pm

But we can't teach sex ed in High school or say homosexual in Tennessee

FlownOver June 21, 2011 at 4:18 pm

OK, sorry for showing up late and cutting in line with your idea (above).

Fukui_sanYesOta June 21, 2011 at 4:23 pm

Well said.

And of the gold standard theories we have, the big three are relativity, quantum mechanics and evolution.

Why not teach the classical greek elements (Earth, Air, Fire, Water, Aether) in chemistry to "teach the controversy"? I'm sure you'll get a long way as a chemical engineer if you choose to believe in those rather than this fancy schmacy "periodic table" baloney.

PsycWench June 21, 2011 at 4:31 pm

I say science curricula should include astrology alongside astronomy. Health classes should include a unit on crystal healing.

Tommmcattt June 21, 2011 at 4:34 pm

And any ethics or logic course should involve a section on the basic tenets of Satanism. TEACH ALL SIDES!!!!

mumbly_joe June 21, 2011 at 5:05 pm: Also too it should be imporant for any physics or philosophy course to include a chapter on Gene Ray's groundbreaking (and un-disproven!) theories. TEACH ALL SIDES of the simultaneous harmonic 4-day TIMECUBE.

mumbly_joe June 21, 2011 at 5:07 pm

If I recall, the "intelligent design" folks in the Dover case were, in fact, forced to admit that the standard by which their stuff is "science" would also make astrology and phrenology "science" that require equal time as well.

FlownOver June 21, 2011 at 4:28 pm

Morbo: “Earthlings do not yet know the meaning of suffering.”

Or, in the case of these Silicon Units, the meaning of 'teach" or "school."

Fukui_sanYesOta June 21, 2011 at 4:29 pm

It strikes me as a little unfair to rag on beauty pageant contestants about something like this. Why not get in a group of car-wash boys from Enterprise Rent-a-Car and ask them their opinion on the middle east crisis?

Although, having said that, last time I was in Enterprise I overhead the car washers talking about investing in gold. Reminded of that old adage about "if you overhear the shoeshone boys talking about stocks, it's time to get out of the market"

mumbly_joe June 21, 2011 at 5:13 pm: Doesnt' the story go that somebody quipped this shortly before Black Thursday?

Also too, it wouldn't be as big a deal if it weren't the pains the pageant organizers go through to pretend that their industry is about something other than the cheuvanistic commoditization of women. That's at least two strikes against it the Enterprise Rent-a-Car doesn't, and conversely, why it's totally cool and not completely sexist, I swear, to rag on pageant contestants for saying shit-brained things. Actually, it's a little confusing, because there really are so many layers to the awful
Tommmcattt June 21, 2011 at 5:15 pm: These car wash guys…are they hot? Ethnic? Would they be sudsy and wet as I asked them these probing questions?

LionHeartSoyDog June 21, 2011 at 4:38 pm

"Let a hundred flowers bloom, let a hundred schools of thought contend…"

arihaya June 21, 2011 at 6:28 pm: this is the one which ended with 'burning the books and burying the scholars', amirite?

SayItWithWookies June 21, 2011 at 4:53 pm

Tits — $8,000
Teeth — $12,000
Hair extensions — $2,000
Walking class — $5,000
Fake talent lessons — $10,000
Critical thinking — too fuckin' expensive.

jus_wonderin June 21, 2011 at 5:16 pm

Give her a break. She has no proof of evolution, because if there were indeed evolution, she wouldn't need breast implants, a painted face and fancy pageant skills.

Those would have evolved on their own where she have Double D's, bright red lips and could whirl flaming batons upon exiting the womb.

Evolution. Bah!!!

flamingpdog June 21, 2011 at 6:22 pm

Science makes me hard. Hubble, hubble, baaabeee!

flamingpdog June 21, 2011 at 6:43 pm

I made it through 4:15 of the video before I devolved into Sarah Palin.

onemoretime79 June 21, 2011 at 6:49 pm

It's because they're running for Miss USA. It's the pretty, not the smart.
Or,
Upon further examination, I agree with some of the measured responses being given to this question by the candidates , seeing as how they are being judged by _________ .

Troglodeity June 21, 2011 at 6:57 pm

Substitute "Islam" for evolution and see what the answers would be.

Katydid June 21, 2011 at 7:00 pm

Still the dumbest pageant answer of all time.

and slightly off-topic…Is France a country?

and even more off-topic….How many sides does a triangle have?

ttommyunger June 21, 2011 at 7:53 pm

Oh yeah. These are women one wants to have a long intellectually stimulating discussion with….Sorry, couldn't watch the video; Palin had me overloaded with mindless twat-babble two years ago… I can't help but think if these women had my dick in their mouths, where it belongs, they wouldn't be talking such drivel.

donner_froh June 21, 2011 at 8:04 pm

Don't believe in evolution–yeah that makes sense.

I don't believe in Newton's First Law of Motion, so I should be able to throw a football a few miles.

alaninthecastro June 21, 2011 at 8:26 pm

Setting the bar awful high, aren't you? At least she knows what a "school" is.

mavenmaven June 21, 2011 at 9:10 pm

The only one to say evolution is science was the woman from New Mexico. On the other hand, Miss Oregon used the phrase "in the education".

Nothingisamiss June 21, 2011 at 9:17 pm

If I were a science teacher , this would make me want to kill myself.

not that Dewey June 21, 2011 at 9:52 pm

Apropos of nothing: in Season 2, Episode 16 of Lost, Sawyer is reading Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret. Do the kids still read that? I have a daughter who will be Judy-Blume-ready in about 10 years, and I'd like to be sure that I'm not sending her down the wrong path.

flamingpdog June 21, 2011 at 10:19 pm

Never read that particular book to myself or my daughter. If it has unicorns and/or little ponies, it's made in the shade.
By the way, My Little Ponies? Not just for little girlz any more. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egvo47uAtOU&fe...

not that Dewey June 21, 2011 at 10:36 pm: Yeah, she likes that too.

According to wikki-wakki, Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret. is a 1970 book by Judy Blume, typically categorized as a young adult novel, about a girl in sixth grade who grew up with no religion.

While there may be unicorns, I'm fairly sure that's not the primary emphasis of the novel.

DustBowlBlues June 21, 2011 at 10:15 pm

My personal belief is that Texas sucks shit and we'd be better off if it belonged to the Mexicans. Therefore, we should teach kids both sides of history and the great victory over the rednecks at the Alamo.

No wonder this country doesn't produce scientists. Americans think you "believe" in science or not. How about teaching the NW Coast Indian theory of how raven opened two clam shells and a man and a woman stepped out of them.

TheMeatmaker June 22, 2011 at 12:36 am