Remaining Gingrich Staffers Have Also Quit Now, Too

This "Everybody is quitting the Newt Gingrich campaign" headline is pooping all over our Google Reader again, which, isn't this a few weeks old already? Oh, uh, this time it is Newt's campaign fundraising team jumping ship to go swim for less rat carcass-infested waters. Nobody is willing to fork over money to pay for Newt's expensive trips to nowhere any longer (seriously? where was he even making appearances?) so that he could continue to try to hawk the massive overstock of Newt Gingrich DVDs that humor-minded Americans still use as coasters once in a while. Tiffany's will now be financing the Gingrich campaign, because nobody else cares about Newt.

The AP reports:  

Campaign spokesman R.C. Hammond is confirming to The Associated Press that fundraising director Jody Thomas and fundraising consultant Mary Heitman have left the team.

The former House speaker's campaign has been on life support since earlier this month when 16 top aides and advisers resigned en masse over disagreements with the Republican candidate.

Wow so here is something terrifying, when a formulaic and dry news wire agency brief says that your campaign is "on life support." Haha, they even broke out metaphors to describe how terrible the situation is. This is like a grandmother looking at her newborn grandchild and, instead of issuing a stock phrase like, "So beautiful!" says "I am surprised by how ugly this thing has turned out and I really don't want to look at it ever again." Yep. [ AP ]