Mitt Romney Says Helping America’s Tornado Victims Is ‘Immoral’

  mormon jesus hates america

Let's give a big hand (or two) to Mitt Romney, giant masshole.Tornadoes and floods and wildfires and droughts and other biblical plagues have been killing Americans and destroying their towns all year long, but constipated mannequin Mitt Romney wants to be seen as a real tough-guy Tea Party asshole these days. So he told a crowd that helping storm victims is “immoral” and that it also “makes no sense.” Just let those stupid Midwestern people die already! If Mormon Jesus wanted Americans in the Heartland to be alive, he wouldn’t have killed them with a constant parade of devastating megastorms!

Think Progress reports:

Embracing a radical anti-government ideology from the most extreme elements of the Tea Party, Romney said that the victims in Mississippi, Louisiana, Tennessee, Massachusetts, and other communities hit by tornadoes and flooding should not receive governmental assistance. He argued it is “simply immoral” for there to be deficit spending that could harm future generations

Mittens also argued that it’s better to simply let Mormon Jesus kill off Christian America now, so that there will simply be no future generations at all. [Think Progress]

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192 comments

  1. chascates

    And what if we had another 9/11-style attack or massive earthquake? Sorry, we're broke and can't do anything about it. This is responsibility?

    1. neiltheblaze

      Yes, as President he would have an overriding responsibility to those awesome generations not yet born, rather than the rag-tag, worthless rabble that exist here and now.

    2. OneYieldRegular

      All the time these people were screaming about health care reform, I kept thinking, "I sure the f-ing hell am glad I'm not their sick child." I mean, the doctor would say to them, "Your child will die unless she has an emergency heart transplant," and they'd be all, "Well, how much will that cost?"

  2. TrotskysAxe

    See! I can be just as horrible as those other guys! Go ahead, ask me something else….

    1. mrblifil

      OK, hey Mitt, if helping downtrodden storm victims who have lost everything because of an act of Divine Providence is "immoral," how would you describe driving around on the highway with a live dog strapped to the top of your car?

    1. Gleem_McShineys

      "Welcome to Kochmart! We can outfit you with the finest unfeeling obnoxiousness that money can buy! Care to try a sample of our new Peppermint Orphan Stomping Tonic?"

    1. Native_of_SL_UT

      Yeah, I know most people think Mormons are weird. I live amongst them and I can testify to the truth of that, but honestly, I can't believe the LDS church lets people like Romney and Beck trash their "good" name this way. They have a bad enough reputation without these two assholes being the face of the church.

    2. Terry

      Sadly enough, in this case Mittens is not only selling out his own previous views but those of his Church. I may talk smack about the whole baptism of dead thing, but the Mormons are quick to respond and very generous with time and resources after a disaster.

      Mittens, you would say anything to grab a few libertarian and tea bagger votes from Ron Paul, wouldn't you?

  3. Preferred Customer

    It is simply immoral to go even one penny into debt in order to deal with an emergency. That's why all forms of personal credit should be banned. If your water heater blows up and you can't cover the cost with the cash in your pocket, you are worse than Hitler.

      1. genxr

        Why do they want to punish success, and reward people whose houses flood, catch fire, and collapse on top of them?

    1. CapeClod

      And we wouldn't have had the crisis in the housing sector if people had just paid for their homes, cash on the barrel.

      1. AJWjr.

        This used to actually be settled church doctrine, probably until some Mormon banker decided he could make a living selling mortgages. And kicking back tithing 10% to the church.

        1. Rarian Rakista

          Homeowneship has allowed many people to provide for themselves and their families, especially after the GI bill. When the rich saw this they started bundling the mortgages together, artificially creating another layer of wealth above/above actual property. Than they started insuring it which is like 3 layers removed from reality.

    2. Sue4466

      This is what always confounds me with the deficit talk and how "the American People know that you can't spend money you don't have." Bullshit. The American People are carrying a shitload of credit card debt that proves otherwise, so please GOP, stop already with the folksy analogies to Ma & Pa 'round the kitchen table.

  4. Serolf_Divad

    That was then:
    Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go [and] sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come [and] follow me. (Matthew 19:21 – King James Version)

    This is now:
    Jesus said unto him: "Fuck the poor. they're mostly illigal immigrants anyway. Come to take our jobs. Give an illegal Mexican a fish and he'll eat one day. Tell him to fuck off, leave you alone and go back to Mexico and you can eat the fish yourself." (Matthew 19:21 – Teaparty Version)

    1. hooray4anything

      Today's Jesus would not only refuse to help the lepers, but hit them with a walking staff and sell them to the Romans for medical experiments.

    2. Come here a minute

      Maybe the part about "screw the poor" is in the Book of Mormon. It's undoubtedly something Moronic.

    1. FNMA

      Sure. You ever try to kick someone in the head when they're standing up? You could hurt your leg.

      1. PristineODummy

        See, now, that all depends on how tall you are, vis-a-vis how tall THEY are. If they're REALLY short, and you're REALLY tall, you might not hurt your leg at all. Of course, there's always the possibility that they will leap for your 'nads with their teeth, but that shouldn't hurt the leg too much.

  5. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    If only we had let New Orleans lay fallow, we wouldn't have the deficit we have now!

    1. Negropolis

      "If only we had let New Orleans lay (more) fallow, we wouldn't have the deficit we have now! "

      Fixed.

  6. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I wonder if Mitt will go down to Florida or Texas after they are hit by Hurricanes this season and tell them to quit whining.

    1. CapeClod

      Different audience! To them he'll say, "I'm not going to worry about the deficit as long as you people need our help!"

    2. GOPCrusher

      He needs to go to Arizona and Texas and tell Brewer and Perry to stop trying to suckle the government teet, just because their states are burning to the ground.

    3. lumpenprole

      Those are tragic battles between man and Mother Nature. Can't let Her think She can just wash away the important stuff. It's either in the Constitution or the GOP Bible, whichever.

  7. Captain_Quark

    In other news, alien life form Mitt Romney dons his magic underwear and is beamed up to planet Zxnorx, whence he came. A spokesman for the Zxnorxian authorities declared "We sent him down as an experiment to see if we could duplicate an actual human being. The experiment has thus far been only a qualified success. Mitt 2.0 will be back soon, however."

    1. DustBowlBlues

      Until I saw Elder Price perform "I Believe" during the Tony broadcast, I didn't know they think they get their own planets and believe that Jesus has his, too.

      Parker, Stone, and the Avenue Q composer. Fuck, I wish I had the cash to go to NYC and see it.

    1. Native_of_SL_UT

      Been there, done that and now we have flying garbage disposals as our state bird.

    2. flamingpdog

      Pray for the Yellowstone caldera to swoosh up and collapse and wait for the fiery cowboy dust to blanket the beehives.

  8. meufchelou

    "He argued it is “simply immoral” for there to be deficit spending that could harm future generations."

    And in addition, his way ensures the current generation that might require government assistance is that much smaller!

  9. Goonemeritus

    Yes we need to only spend on DOD and aid to corporations, everything else makes the baby Jesus cry.

    1. ChessieNefercat

      "Yes we need to only spend on DOD and aid to corporations, everything else makes the baby Jesus cry."

      Yes, and His Holy Mother, too:
      "My soul doth magnify the Lord.
      And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.
      Because he hath regarded the humility of his handmaid;
      for behold from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.
      Because he that is mighty,
      hath done great things to me;
      and holy is his name.
      And his mercy is from generation unto generations,
      to them that fear him.
      He hath shewed might in his arm:
      he hath scattered the proud in the conceit of their heart.
      He hath put down the mighty from their seat,
      and hath exalted the humble.
      He hath filled the hungry with good things;
      and the rich he hath sent empty away.

      He hath received Israel his servant,
      being mindful of his mercy:
      As he spoke to our fathers,
      to Abraham and to his seed for ever."
      –(Luke 1:46-55)

      Oh, no, wait a minute. Say, I think someone is messing with the Good Book, and it is not the liberals.

  10. Barb

    Taken from Mitt's website:
    "Please donate. Together, we’ll make certain America remains the greatest nation on Earth."

    It's okay for YOU to ask for some of MY money and the disaster victims shouldn't ask for some of my tax money to get back on their feet? What a dickweed!

    1. Native_of_SL_UT

      So the definition of "greatest" is to fuck over the least fortunate of your people and give all your excess cash to the most fortunate amongst us?
      So the definition of "greatest" is to fuck over people now in order for people in the future have low, low taxes and lots of dead ancestors?

    2. baconzgood

      Pointing out the GOP's hypocrisy makes bald eagles and baby Jesus cry….It also gives kittens congenital adrenal hyperplasia. USA USA USA!!!!

    3. freakishlywrong

      I believe the greatest nation of Earth has an obligation to it's citizens in time of disaster.

      1. Barb

        Very well said, Freakishly. I'm probably not thinking of this in the right context though….
        If the people get help they can rebuild. Lumber sales go up, people get paid to piece that lumber back into the shape of a house. The workers can afford to go to the diner and the waitress takes her tips and goes to the mall and gets jeans for her kid. (tax, tax, tax) I could be wrong, but it beats the shit out of thinking that we can create jobs by praying that the corporations aren't going to send the jobs to Brazil and still get huge tax breaks.

        1. lumpenprole

          All of that seemingly productive activity is cancelled out by the sheer power of indolence which inevitably follows when a normally productive person lays their paws on a government check. Worse than crack. In fact, they're printed on recycled crack pipes.

          1. lumpenprole

            But it'll be like the difference between Likud and Labor in Israel over what to do with the Palestians.
            Mitt – "Release the Hounds!"
            Obama – "The hounds have been an obstacle, true, but …"

    4. PristineODummy

      Truly. I'm actually too aghast by this steaming pile to resort to my usual snark and vicious, vile, name-calling and abuse. NOW what am I gonna do? May the next hurricane/tornado/plague of frogs hit ONLY Mitt and the Mittlings, and spare all others (OK, maybe he can take those motherfucking dwarves called "Teh Refuglycan't Candidates" wiv him.) Christ on a fucking crutch.

    1. NYNYNYjr

      The Joplin Tornado isn't afraid to make tough choices. And he's not a Washington insider. He's a true American, from the heartland, raised on a farm.

    1. WABishop

      Counts the number of voters afflicted by the tornadoes….

      Counts the number of voters motivated by greed and resentment….

      No brainer.

      1. Winnie_Cooper

        When I've driven through it, there are more Jesus billboards than anywhere else that I have ever seen. Does that make it real?

        1. Jukesgrrl

          That giant lighted cross on Interstate 44 scared the pants off me the first time I saw it. I wanted to step on the gas and get out of Missouri ASAP. Then again, the last thing I wanted to do was get arrested in that place.

          1. Winnie_Cooper

            On that same cross-country drive, there was a huge cross in Texas that similarly gave me the willies. I was only driving across a small part of Texas through Amarillo, so it was somewhere thereabouts. Getting to the hippie confines of Albuquerque was something of a relief after all that.

    2. Negropolis

      Who are we kidding. Those tornado-ravaged communities will vote straight-ticket Republican regardless.

  11. hagajim

    C'mon guys…Mitt is just being a pandering asshole so he can get nominated. You all know that the second he gets the nod he will run as fast and far from the teatards as he can. Those dinguses know it too, which is why Mitt won't likely get the nod.

  12. fuflans

    mitt: pandering to the teatards isn't going to help.

    1. you're mormon
    2. you crafted a government run health care scheme
    3. bachmann's in the race.

  13. SayItWithWookies

    This is why Mittens weeps when he tours scenes of natural disasters — he feels the pain of all the smart bombs and oil subsidies that will be lost in the clamor to help those who deliberately placed themselves in the way of the The LORD's weather.

    1. BeWoot

      I guess cruelty masked as fiscal responsibility must be that which separates Mormons varieties of Christianity from the other religions.

      There. Fixed.

  14. OneDollarJuana

    So, Mitt is actually arguing for the elimination of corporate welfare, because we are going deeper into debt to give tax breaks to the rich and powerful. I'd love to see him do his verbal dance out of that argument.

  15. Badonkadonkette

    Geez, Mittens. It's just a little government assistance. Don't get your magic panties in a bunch.

  16. owhatever

    Ask not what your government can do for you. We ain't gonna do nothin, you loser. We got ours, so fuck you. Joseph Smith bless America.

  17. baconzgood

    It's immoral to help people? Look at me I'm moral! (Baconz sais as I's kickin' a homeless VET)

  18. loulouroo

    Geez! And we thought Bush and "Brownie" were d-bags. Let's pray there's not a hurricane under Tea bagger watch.
    Do the rethug bible thumpers in tornado alley agree with this stance?

  19. RedneckMuslin

    He's right! How many tornadoes, earthquakes, or Hurricanes have hit Utah? That's right muthafuckers, he's smiting you non-believers!

    1. BarryOPotter

      A tornado, an earthquake and a hurricane were on their way to Utah, but then thought better of it: "Yo, brahs, why are we doing this? The hell are we going to damage? A temple? Man, seriously, this is not worth the bother, plus the wife would be pissed if it ruined our family ski vacation. Let's go back and mess with the loud-mouth hypocrites…"

  20. iburl

    Instead of tossing glitter on these fools, somebody needs to make a giant hairy ball sack and teabag the hell out of these guys.

    "Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me." – Karl Marx

  21. EatsBabyDingos

    The Great White Salamander (no, not a Newt) told the Mormons to leave Indiana, due to intolerance and the weather and being intolerant of the weather.

    "GO WEST, YOUNG BLAND!" said the Great White Salamander.

  22. MissTaken

    He argued it is “simply immoral” for there to be deficit spending that could harm future generations

    See, Mitt's just thinking of the children. Well, he's thinking of those children who haven't been born yet. Children who have been born can get swept up in a tornado and impaled on a fence for all he cares. Because that's simply moral.

  23. BarackMyWorld

    I'm now convinced this election season is just a massive conspiracy to make George W. Bush appear more statesman-like.

  24. EatsBabyDingos

    Gotta love Mormons: They homesteaded next to a lake they can't drink, which is full of flies they can't unzip.

    1. PubOption

      A week is a long time in politics. Nobody needs to check into five-years-old prehistory.

  25. bumfug

    So the republicans are one-upping each other using the Crocodile Dundee model – "That's not a dickhead, THIS is a dickhead!"

  26. FidoMcCokefiend

    Race to the bottom has never been a more apt term than the 2012 Republican nominees/potential nominees.

  27. WABishop

    Helping the victims rebuild is only enabling their desire to build homes in the paths of future tornadoes. That's just plain irresponsible!

  28. fartknocker

    Really? Mitt, I'll remind you that just last month in your home state that the local firefighters requested and received FEMA approval for Massachusetts Task Force 1, which is funded by FEMA to perform search and rescue operations because of the tornadoes your state experienced.

    Fucking hypocritical shit stain.

    Signed,
    Former Texas Task Force 2 command officer

  29. iburl

    Helping Americans struck by a natural disaster = Immoral

    Helping Iraqis, Afghanis, Pakistanis, Yemen-folk and Lybians (primarily by bombing the shit out of them) = Highly Moral

  30. Mapmonger

    Man oh man. I'd like to see a conga line of tornado victims get to take turns kicking mittens in the penis, over and over again, until 2013. That's fair.

  31. hooray4anything

    I would say that it's another sign that Mitt is selling his soul as fast as he can but considering he made his millions running a company that told companies to lay off all their employees just to appease all the stockholders– of which Mitt was one– I'm not sure he ever had one.

  32. sportshort

    "…and then he turned to a tornado victim who was bound and gagged and tied to a stake and whispered to them, "Think of me in hell, bitch." as he lit the fuel beneath their feet. The crowd roared its approval and Satan smiled."

    -30-

  33. 5thstate

    Oh you ADD-afflicted clods! Don't you remember? All large scale disasters on US soil are 'cos of the gay! The MidWest is totes Gay but Mitt doesn't want to say so because so many teabaggers hate him that he needs the gay voting bloc.

    Of course he should just man-up and blame Mexican "The Beacons of Gondor Are Lit!!" LOTR re-enactors, like John McCain did because you know, how important are clean hotel rooms and fresh-picked fruit and veg anyway? .

  34. orygoon

    Why does it seem like the Republicans are The Party Of Bad Things Only Happening To Other People? And more to the point, how do they get AWAY with it?

    1. ganmerlad

      Because the ones who pay attention aren't the ones who would vote for them in the first place.

  35. franco_pinyon

    As the ego gets bigger, the room for good sense disappears. It's a law of physics.

  36. glamourdammerung

    So that "liberalism is a mental illness" crap is yet more projection it seems.

  37. SaintRond

    Charles Taylor of Sierra Leone had a campaign slogan that became popular over the radio – "You killed my ma, you killed my pa, but I'll vote for you…"

    These fucking people don't care if Mittens supports drowning them like the rats they are, as long as a white man can reclaim the White House.

  38. mumbly_joe

    You know what else could harm future generations?? FORCING THEM TO GROW UP IN RUBBLE BECAUSE YOU'VE DESIGNATED ANYPLACE HIT BY DISASTER TO FOREVER BE A PERMASLUM you fucking tool.

    A former roommate of mine who was a history major, and also a friend's wife who is a history enthusaist, both often ask a provocative question about how dark ages could actually happen, how could people forget to use the tools and inventions lying right next to them that everyone knew how to use a generation ago. Honestly, I think, in bullshit like this, we have the answer: ideology. Ideology makes it effortless to forget science, innovations, even basic human desency, and once you've started that process, it's even easier to heap even more ignorance on top of that willful ignorance.

  39. FlipOffResearch

    Jeez, the Republicans are assholing themselves into a corner.

    He's probably just trying to undo the greatest sin in the eyes of the GOP – trying to help those less fortunate than himself. You know, Romneycare.

  40. ingloriousbytch

    Excuse me while I go buy tickets to "Book of Morman" as just another fuck you to Mitt and his messed up cult.

  41. Limeylizzie

    He probably thinks he can just dig people out of the rubble with those freakishly huge man-paws.

  42. glamourdammerung

    It makes sense, since the conservative movement was replaced by a mentally handicapped version of 4chan.

  43. Steverino247

    As I said previously, somebody tie that asshole to the top of his car and send him home. Or off a toll-bridge.

  44. VaWyo

    This seems especially crew since Mormon Jesus is from the heartland. Don't they believe Jerusalem is in Missouri, or something like that?

    1. Negropolis

      Yep, after Mormonism's first roll-out wasn't so successful in New York, they chose a convenient place to start it back up, and when that wasn't hospitable, they found another home out West that they could control, indefinitely. Or, so they thought.

  45. BTWBFDIMHO

    Did you see that any time Romney opens his mouth, Bachmann gets closer to the nomination?

  46. SudsMcKenzie

    Do you ever feel like the World is a Nice Suite, and your just a dog on the roof of a car.

  47. notreelyhelping

    Uh-huh. By the end of the day, someone will pull him aside and remind him exactly WHERE Iowa is located–like how far it is from Missouri–and he'll be out there saying that what he meant to say is the federal government under his stewardship will ALWAYS be ready to help Iowan voters in need. Because, after all, he's an unemployed farmer too. (Hair farmer, that is.)

  48. donner_froh

    If the Democrats in the Midwest and South have anything on the ball (some do) they will be stockpiling quotes and sound bites such as the one Fuckface Romney made in order to hang it around his neck next October.

  49. Callyson

    Just let those stupid Midwestern people die already!
    Considering that the Midwest has a lot of swing states, I think he should repeat this policy platform on a regular basis. Brilliant fuckin' move, Mittens…

  50. SilverTsunami

    Sorry, but if the Latter Day Saints' deity cared about people in the midwest, he wouldn't have moved to Utah.

  51. onemoretime79

    He added "Every time you have an occasion to take something from the federal government and send it back to the states, that’s the right direction. And if you can go even further and send it back to the private sector, that’s even better."

    Here, Mr. Romney is advocating for taking money from the feds and giving it to private entities. I wonder, who decides which private enterprises gain?

    Also. what could have given him this crazy idea? (cue SNL and the Church Lady skit)

  52. user-of-owls

    This is what the great LORD says: Let my people go, so that they may worship me. If you refuse to let them go, I will plague your whole country with frogs. The Nile will teem with frogs. They will come up into your palace and your bedroom and onto your bed, into the houses of your officials and on your people, and into your ovens and kneading troughs. The frogs will go up on you and your people and all your officials.

    Exodus 8:1–4

    Now that's what I'm talking about. Fuck those pussy tornados…bring on the motherfucking frogs, man!

    1. onemoretime79

      Frogs. People eat their legs, I'm told. Probably not if they came down like tornadoes, tho. So ~

      don't make me defend the notion that tornadoes are pussies.
      'cause that would suck.

  53. Preferred Customer

    He understands, because he is unemployed. If you are unemployed, you just live off the giant stacks of cash you have in your basement. What's the problem?

  54. ttommyunger

    Every once in a while the truth slips out in spite of his best efforts and political instincts. What a fucking moron, can't even deceive consistently. Watch a master, take notes Mitt; watch the Newtster.

  55. Guppy06

    "He argued it is “simply immoral” for there to be deficit spending that could harm future generations"

    Finally, a Republican taking a rational stance on climate change.

    Wait, what?

  56. Negropolis

    You got your government in my peanut butter. No! You got your peanut butter in my government!

  57. Negropolis

    Hell, he'll change positions more often than the wind through the urban canyons of the Chicago Loop, or more times than a whore aiming to please. I'm waiting for Mitt to turn into a sassy black lady hollering "Where my sistahs at?"

  58. PristineODummy

    Man, what was I drinking yesterday, that I didn't even SEE this story? Jezus, Mitt, you feckin' bastid. This is what comes of valuing the lives of fetii over their mothers. Eventually, you don't have to do shit for the actual living human beings because you're too busy protecting their potential fetus' interests. Which clearly outweigh the interests of the actual, BORN people around, yaknow. Fuck me.

  59. PostApocalypse

    And who invented kicking the debt spiral into high gear for political gain? Ronald fucking Reagan, that's who.

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