your new presidential twatter

New Twitter User Barack Obama Not A Huge Fan Of His Job

like the rest of us even have a jobBarry Obama from the Block finally got around to installing the Twitter application on his Blackberry this weekend, probably after John Boehner mocked him at their Golf Summit for running around without it. The president’s account to date has been filled with dry robot White House staffer tweets that made Chuck Grassley’s Twitter feed look like a Saturday night swinger marathon. Can you spice it up, hip Obamar? No, is the answer. “Being President is not as hard as being a father” was his first tweet. Nice one, most boring person on Twitter ever. We’re glad “body odor” can let everyone out there who is a parent know that it is harder than running the world. Could we have that job leading Earth, then? Obama also apparently likes that job better than being President, which, now our feelings are sort of hurt? 

Obama is new at this, so he has still missed the point of the whole Twitter Thing. The point is not to share your feelings about your employment situation. He will have to learn to stick to twatting bland/stupid/lewd items that reporters can parrot in “news articles,” or just retweet Kanye when there’s nothing else. Or just call Sarah Palin for help, because she is already very good at this. [Twitter]

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    1. Doktor Zoom

      I have been told that it's hard out there for a pimp, but that was quite a few Sundance Film Fests ago.

    2. Negropolis

      Actually, if the media has taught me nothing else, it is that "it's hard out there for a pimp."

        1. horsedreamer_1

          Fifteen years ago, only Hillary, Monica, Paula (maybe), and Ken Starr could describe the Presidential dong. Now, it's 2011, and we will all know, soon enough.

    1. OneDollarJuana

      So, just like fulfilling his promises to the US public, he falls short in fulfilling his promises to his kids.

  1. dr_giraud

    Obama 2008 = an example of the political efficacy of social media.

    Obama 2011 = another old dooder who should have his Blackberry taken away.

  2. user-of-owls

    He's right, you know, being a dad is harder than being president. I mean seriously, if Sasha won't make her bed, what's he gonna do, send in a drone?

    1. Noman

      " if Sasha won't make her bed, what's he gonna do, send in a drone?"

      Biden might like the opportunity to actually do something.

      1. OneDollarJuana

        That's kinda funny, but it seems to me that Biden is the most savvy guy in the Administration. It's just that his opinions are ethical, moral, financially sound, make sense, but don't steal supertankers of cash from us to give to the 1%.

  3. SayItWithWookies

    Of course being a father is more rewarding — when he tells Sasha and Malia what's going on, Obama doesn't have to explain basic math, economics, shared risk vs. socialism, geography, history and science every single damn time as though it were the first. Being president is like dealing with a million ids with senile dementia.

    1. mumbly_joe

      Being president is like dealing with a million ids with senile dementia.

      I'm not sure whether that's a typo or not, but I like to believe it wasn't.

    2. Angry_Marmot

      That's why I'm giving Obama a pass for the bland tweets; every breath he takes is parsed, twisted and vilified beyond recognition, so why bother to inject personality?

  4. DaRooster

    You too Jus_
    My son called me last night. Which was nice since he had a court date to see how long he'll be going to jail on Friday… (nice to go your Birthday jus_wonderin). Apparently the court wasn't ready (too many cases?) so they postponed it…
    Yep, being a Dad is harder Barry….

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      I went to a nice father's day BBQ with a new friend I met through my kid's school. He's a local surgeon who's commissioning me to build him a custom guitar (one of my hobbies) and he fed all us other dads and families on sausages he made from home grown venison (he raises fallow deer on on his ranchette in the foothills. )

      So sometimes your kids end up getting you involved in nice stuff, too. You just have to pony up to send them to a private school.

      1. finallyhappy

        In our brief foray into private school(many years ago), I ran a silent auction for which Sugar Ray Leonard donated one of his robes.

        1. Lascauxcaveman

          Not sure, and I hope to never find out, first hand. But yes, I did gaze out o'er his fields of deer, galumphing and mating and prancing just so, so I'm pretty sure what I was eating was venison. I did learn that his wife is also an MD; an anesthetist. Appropriately, she was serving some pretty nice wines at this party. I certainly left that party feeling no pain.

  5. pinkocommi

    If Barack keeps his daughters from drinking excessively and getting pregnant while a teenager, and from tweeting pictures of their boobs, he will have done a better job raising his daughters than Bush, Sarah Lou and McCain did with theirs.

          1. Tommmcattt

            Didn't I school you enough last time, Idiot? Do I need to do it in teabagalog?


          2. Noman

            "Do I need to do it in teabagalog? "

            I'm not interested in either your tea bags or your log.

          3. flamingpdog

            Your mother's here at my place now, Noman. She just got done calling out your name ten times, with passion.

            She did let me know beforehand that your real name is Phuckme O'Gawd.

          4. flamingpdog

            Hmm, my condolences to you, downfisty. I have been called an ashhole in my time. But unless you are with her, I'm sure she's in a better place.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      Everything is proof of Barry's moral weakness. It is axiomatic, like gravity, and AIDS.

  6. Warpde

    Hey BO,
    When you get to the point where no matter what you do your kid's room still smells like ass.
    We'll talk.

  7. orygoon

    My (awesome) dad died two summers ago. It was a quick, merciful, "good" death and he was eighty. But I still get sentimental and mushy about All Things Dad. So I gotta agree that this dad thing is very, very complex. For example, the economy can be fixed, easy!–but they aren't bringing my dad back so we can have more visits, are they?

    1. Warpde

      Still have my Dad.
      He will turn 86 this year.
      Sorry you have lost yours.

      My father, when he went, made my childhood a gift of a half a century.
      ~Antonio Porchia, Voces

  8. Crank_Tango

    …what I meant was, being president of this shithole is not at all rewarding, and I would rather be a parent to a couple of tweens than do this job.

    1. Goonemeritus

      That’s because tweens can be reasoned with after much effort unlike some dysfunctional dead ideologies.

    1. user-of-owls

      Let's say we ask Riley what he thinks of the mood, eh? On his death blog, this would be the equivalent of a Barney the Fucking Purple Dinosaur episode.

      Sorry if I spoiled your scones and tea.

  9. Chillwaver

    Dude, that meme is soooo 2009…get with the program, old man! Oh, and please stop following with your other account, you narcissistic a-hole.

    1. Noman

      "Dude, that meme is soooo 2009…get with the program, old man!"

      I thought this was either 2004 or maybe 1984 – because of all the posts about Bush & Reagan.

      1. Chillwaver

        Must be a slow day at Breitard's…what are you doing here anyway? You probably can't tell which comments are serious and which ones aren't, can you?

        1. Noman

          I lost my link to the Official Rules for Snark, can you send that to me?

          Methinks you employ a completely flexible rubrick for libunatic posts and an impossible rubrick for non-libunatic posts. Be's I write?

          1. ChessieNefercat

            1) Learn to spell rubric, idiot.

            2) People who use the word "methinks" need to return it to the 16th century where it belongs, Jar-Jar.

            3) Your silly made up word "libunatic" is stupid, not clever.

            4) You're a dolt. You haven't contributed an intelligent, useful, witty, or useful comment yet.

            5) Which makes you a bore.

          2. natoslug

            Actually, he (she? it?) made a leek/onion joke the other day that worked. Fuck me, I'm defending a troll. Must be my Liberalness, secretly hoping noman/spanky/santorumswallower will give up on the bullshit attempts to inflame and instead embrace the assfucking and dick jokes.

          3. Noman

            Thanks for catching my spelling error for the word rubric, I appreciate it.

            As I am not a liberal, I enjoy learning and being corrected when wrong.

  10. KeepFnThatChicken

    Is fathering a hard job? Yes. Does the pay suck? You're goddamn right it does.

  11. x111e7thst

    The likelier it is that your daughters will see giving lap dances as a step up the harder being a dad is Barry. Just saying..

  12. MissTaken

    Mom's get loads of love on Mother's Day (and rightfully so), but people often forget it's the dads who teach you how to drive, tap a keg, and kick those dirtbag boys in balls when they try to force their way into your lady bits.

    Thank you to all the awesome dads out there! And that includes you too, Barry!

    1. Mumbletypeg

      Yeah… what is it with Dad, as opposed to Mom, taking the higher ground in that dangerous passenger seat while we adolescents were finding our clutch/brake-legs? I've always wondered.

      I bridged that milestone taking his '65 Plymouth Valiant convertible, under his alert supervision, around mountain roads in Georgia — push-button transmission, zero seatbelts. Just realized he was handing down to me an experience way beyond the pragmatic. And weirdly it's some of those how-to conversations that stand out in my mind where most others are hazy.

      1. Toomush_Infer

        My dad gave me a 65 Plymouth Valiant, with the fins and pushbutton trannie, along with a $20 bill, when I graduated high school at 17…."Where ya goin?", he asked. That's when I knew my time at home had ended. I called it the Slushmobile….loved that dinosaur until I drunk crashed it at 3 am…still on my own 45 years down the road….he turns 90 in two days – thanks for the memo-hit!..

        1. MissTaken

          That's awesome! My dad got me a 69 Dodge Dart Swinger with a slant-6 engine for $200 on my 16th birthday. That behemoth went 0 to 60 in about 12 and half minutes. One day the accelerator dropped (a spring fell out) and I rear-ended a little Civic leaving it totaled. But my Dart didn't have a scratch. Thanks Dad!

    2. natoslug

      Ah, the memories of being a father. When my eldest daughter went to her Senior Prom, she and I made sure all of the firearms in the house were out on the dining room table, along with several empty bottles of beer and a bunch of ammo (yes, I know, NEVER clean a weapon with ammo in the same room, and sure as fuck don't do it while drinking) scattered around. Her date got the impression that I was somewhat unstable, prone to drinking and heavily armed. He also got her home on time and not-pregnant, and drove very very carefully. It helped that my response to "Do you hunt?" was "Only people."

  13. SorosBot

    This is a post about Barack Obama; you must have mistaken it for one about Sarah Palin, since she can't speak without one.

  14. bumfug

    That's right up there with my Facebook friend yesterday who posted Harry Chapin's "Cat's In The Cradle" as a Father's Day tribute. Very inspirational, kind of thing that makes dad want to unwrap his new bottle of Old Spice then go hang himself.

  15. genxr

    To be fair, I'm sure his kids don't run around the house screaming "Death panels! Socialist! Government takeover!"

    1. Doktor Zoom

      Really? That's exactly what my kid does when I tell him he needs to take out the garbage.

  16. Radiotherapy®

    Being a Wonkette commentor is sometimes my hardest but always my most rewarding job.
    Enjoy this thread all you commentors out there. -RTx

  17. Mahousu

    If being a father is harder than being president, does that mean Obama gives in to his daughters more than he does to the Republicans? Because if so, I know two girls that are staying up way too late on school nights.

    1. HistoriCat

      That's when Michelle steps in. "I don't care if your father IS President of the United States. You girls have school tomorrow and you are going to bed RIGHT NOW."

  18. KommunistKitty

    So basically Barry spends all day raising his kids and collecting fat checks from the state like a welfare queen.

  19. Callyson

    Oh, I don't know…somehow I think this will win the hearts and minds of the fathers of newborn babies, who are suffering from sleep deprivation, plus the fathers of kids, who have to worry about broken bones and windows, not to mention the fathers of teenagers, who have to teach the kids how to drive and pray they don't get/get anyone pregnant.
    Happy (belated) Father's Day to the dads out there, including my own…

    1. smokefilledroommate

      Frankie and Annette were layin on the sand
      When Frankie got a letter from his Uncle Sam
      Said "get Moondog and all your friends"
      You're all invited to
      Beach Party Vietnam
      Surfin' with the Vietcong
      Cookin' hotdogs with napalm
      Beach Party Vietnam!

      It's funny how you remember certain songs that you haven't heard for years like you heard 'em yesterday… One of my favorite lyrics to this day is 'B.F. Skinner has eaten my dinner. There's a body in that trunk..'

      And– Pol. Pot. Pol. Pot. Polpotpolpotpolpotpolpotpolpotpolpot!

      [goddamn. I didn't mean to gush like that. Now I feel so uncool]

  20. ganmerlad

    BarackObama (Barack Obama)
    As this campaign ramps up across the country, we want to know: what would you like to see us tweet about?
    4 hours ago

    About anything but the campaign.

  21. LakeLucilleLoon

    Serious people do not twitter; I repeat, the Leader of the Free World should eschew Twitter and be proud to do so.

  22. mavenmaven

    He's trying to appeal to the Reader's Digest demographic. But they'll still find a way to read a hidden socializms muslin message in this tweet somehow.

  23. Peace in our time

    Maybe if Barry just gave some predator drones and missiles to Caribou Barbie she could hunt moose with them and she would lose the need burning in her loins to become CIC.

    Of course, they wouldn't looks so good stuffed and mounted after a hunt like that.

  24. ChessieNefercat

    I don't know, but did Ken explain the rare and powerful use of the banhammer to Kirsten?

    This clown is behaving more and more like a jackassy four year old that thinks using bad language in front of gramma and making his mom cry is funny. Certainly no one ever told him to shut his piehole in front of his betters or else.

        1. glamourdammerung

          At least both of them. And they still cry about being banned for making stupid remarks about the nine year old that was murdered during the attack on Congresswoman Giffords instead of being grown up enough to admit they were banned for going full-retard.

  25. fuflans

    this is pretty much the dictionary definition of 'vapid'.

    yeah, that's about right for twitter.

  26. iburl

    "I'd rather be a really good one-term president than a mediocre two-term president."
    —Obama, shooting for the stars once again.

    1. edywin2

      George HW Bush, mediocre…one term president. Jimmy Carter, mediocre…one term president. I haven't really the data to convincingly say it, but it seems that there could be a connection between mediocrity and one term presidencies. What then Mr. Professor?

  27. Doktor Zoom

    My son (14) and I are reading aloud Terry Pratchett's Watch novels; we're up to Thud!, and by chance, Sunday was the day we got to the scene where Watch Commander Sam Vimes rushes across the city, desperate to make the one appointment that he absolutely cannot be late for: Reading to his 14 month old son, Young Sam. (If you know the novel, this is the bit where we get the close literary analysis of that classic tome, Where's My Cow.) There was much sentimental snuffling from this dad,* particularly at the description of Where's My Cow as a physical object:

    The pages of said book were rounded and soft where Young Sam had chewed them, but to one person in this nursery this was the book of books, the greatest story ever told….It must have been the most cuddled book in the world" (n.b.: For my kiddo at a comparable age, that text would have been Goodnight, Gorilla)

    Yes, it was a fine Father's Day. The kiddo even let me drag him along to the downtown car show, where we saw the same bunch of hot rods, restored classics, and bitchin' muscle cars that are there every year, and where, as usual, I had about 20 minutes more interest in everything than he did. Also, a fine gift from the boy: a replacement foot pump for our camping air mattress. I took the hint. Early July is good camping weather in Idaho.

    And so, fears of impending hobo apocalypse notwithstanding, I am rather glad I am this fine person's dad.


    *And if there's a better summing up of parental fear than this, I don't think I want to know: "He had a lot of nightmares about Young Sam. They involved empty cots and darkness."

    1. edywin2

      My dad, the Great Depression kid, read me the preamble to the Constitution, and Huckleberry Finn. Then I had to listen to Spike Jones albums. I am so glad things have changed now.

  28. Clancy_Pants

    Let me translate for Grassley:

    Beeng a fathur is smtimes my hrdest bt always my mst rewrding job. :) Fathurs day 2 all the Dads out their – B. Hussein O

  29. not that Dewey

    O/T, but who do I have to blow around here to get to 97 pee? It's been like three weeks since I last got promoted. I even kissed Neilist's ass. Jeez. Pfff.

    I don't normally complain about pee, but this is fuckin ridiculous.

    1. edywin2

      I take a diuretic, and I am drinking Canada Dry Ginger Ale. I only have a 73, but my stream is strong.

      1. not that Dewey

        Canada dry is what Scotch drinkers drink when they're not drinking Scotch. Or, at least that's what I tell myself….

    2. flamingpdog

      Took me forever to get from 96 to 97 pee (just a couple of days ago). What I can't figure is how downfisty can take so many hits at Wonkette and keep his 125 pee. He must spend the rest of the day at Breitfart's own personal urinal.

  30. HistoriCat

    OK Kirsten – I appreciate that coming up with witty posts related to political news for a bunch of smart-asses isn't that easy. But can we agree that we will never get "Chuck Grassley" in the same sentence with "swinging" again? Even if he's busted in an eight-way with two men, three women, and a goat? Because that is some shit that I never ever want to think about. OK? Thanks – love your work. Kisses!

    1. flamingpdog

      At first I was gonna downfist you because I thought that was a box of Koch Bros Dixie Cups, but, FORKS YEAH!!

    1. Doktor Zoom

      Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
      And I took the one the Republicans wanted
      And then they called me a socialist

  31. flamingpdog

    Mebbe somewhat OT, but Barry, has anyone ever told you that "BO" doesn't have quite the same impact on folks as FDR, JFK, and LBJ do?

    1. Negropolis

      Yeah, no kidding. Even BHO would be better. At least it looks like something classy on the periodic table, or some interesting chemical equation. He should square the O for good effect.

  32. Negropolis

    If I had to explain myself to John Boehner's insane House, I'd just quit, outright.

  33. Angry_Marmot

    Good job with Malia and Sasha, but I can't say he's kept the country off the pole.

    1. Negropolis

      You know, if this country was svelte enough to work a pole, I'd believe you. At the moment, all we can muster is a lazy chair and/or lap dance. And, we have to be extra careful with the chairs, lest we break them, and then it's nothing but extracting freedom splinters for days on end…

      BTW, speaking of the First Daughters, someone tell me I'm not the only one cynically thinking that it wouldn't be a complete shock if we got a surprise pregency over the next few months. You know, like how television shows introduce new babies to increase viewership.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        Given Michelle's age, we might be looking at the Obamas's own Trig, if a pregnancy happened.

  34. pinkocommi

    I thought the hardest job was being campaign manager for Newt Gingrich.

    And least rewarding, except for the payment in Tiffany-blood diamonds.

  35. C_R_Eature

    Agreed. I have to say that all of the kids of my close friends have turned out to be smart, pleasant self motivated rock solid citizens. Everything Conservatives say they are but are, sadly, not. Just about the only glimmer of light I see at the end of this tunnel.

    RE: Troll (s). I really don't think their behavior has risen to the Banhammer status yet. It's simple enough to ignore them – my policy has been not to reply directly and I've seen nothing they've written that's caused me to revise it.
    I did ring their bell in a few earlier posts and it seemed to have a good effect. They became more engaged, a little less abusive and even made a few Funnies. I had hope.
    Well, now I see they're sliding back to spouting RW boilerplate, blanket unsourced statements and irritating stalking. If they stay on this trajectory, they'll fuck up and get Hammered fairly soon & disappear. Unfortunate, we could have had fun.
    Until then, don't feed them. Just encourages bad behavior and makes them think they're Clever.

  36. BlueStateLibel

    He should get with the corporate America program–your job is supposed to be the most rewarding, blissful experience you've ever had, you would die for it, and gladly be at it for the next couple of hundred of years, screw the wife and kids.

  37. glamourdammerung

    Well, you keep claiming your bans are because "noncommunists are banned" here, so even this latest excuse to avoid taking any responsibility for your own behavior is even more stupid than the normal nonsense you spew.

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