bureaucracy fail

Maryland Closes Nightmare Unpermitted Kids’ Lemonade Stand

Haha, here is the best argument ever made for shutting down the entire U.S. government bureaucracy:  a Maryland county inspector fined a group of children $500 for selling lemonade to raise money for a children’s cancer charity, because these small freeloaders did not have a permit. No permit, no cure for cancer, children!

The kiddies were selling lemonade not far from the entrance to the U.S. Open, and plenty of nearby rich homeowners paid a $300 permit fee to charge fans upwards of $50 apiece to park on their huge lawns and earn collect thousands of dollars. But don’t stop dreaming, children! Some day you may be able to save 72 months of allowance to buy a permit or make a “campaign donation,” which is as good as a permit. In the meantime, someone will probably look after those children with cancer.

The video shows one of the mothers of the children arguing with the classically villainous-looking inspector, who tells her it would be one thing if they made only $5 or $10, but the children have “coolers and coolers” full of lemonade.

Related video

From the NY Daily News:

“Does every kid who sells lemonade now have to register with the county?” asked Carrie Marriott, one of the children’s incensed mothers.

After a public outcry, Montgomery County officials allowed the children to reopen their stand — in another location — and waived the fine.

Jennifer Hughes, the director of permitting for the Washington, D.C. suburb, told WUSA9 that although lemonade stands are technically illegal, inspectors don’t usually go after them.

But this stand, the inspector told Marriott, was too large not to be noticed.

Lemonade stands are apparently now illegal in America? Good, we didn’t like the children stealing American jobs, anyway. [NY Daily News/CNN]

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319 comments

  1. DrunkIrishman

    When life gives you lemons, you better hope you don't live in Maryland or you're pretty much fucked.

    1. Ancient_Hacker

      Well, actually, there is a good excuse for a little govt oversight of places that sell food or drink- a little e-coli in the water or in the coolers could lead to a lot of involuntary barfing or emanations from the other end from the crowds watching the US open, out in the open.

      On second thought, I'd love to see that happening to the whole damm crowd of golf-peepers.

      1. Sparky_McGruff

        Hell, I'd pay good money to watch a bunch of snobby golf fans vomiting in unison.

      2. C_R_Eature

        Having survived,barely, a bout of Norwalk virus ( the very same one that takes over entire cruse liners passenger manifests with bouts of projectile vomiting and Spontaneous Violent Pooing, I'm all for Government Oversight of food vendors. It's not a joke – you really do want to die. Then, when you do get better, you want to kill the poor sap who infected you.

        That said, I wouldn't mind seeing a Norovirus outbreak at, say, the next Tea party rally…

    2. JustPixelz

      When life gives you lemons, you better hope life also gives you some water and sugar and a pitcher or else you're just stuck with a bunch of lemons.

    3. finallyhappy

      Not just Maryland- this very particular part of Montgomery County. Pretty sure, that in Harford or Cecil County or even my part of MC- Silver Spring- you could sell almost anything w/o a license

  2. memzilla

    You know, I've never wished a** cancer on anyone, but I'm almost willing to make an exception for this inspector, for the lemon-scented irony of it.

    1. BornInATrailer

      My favorite is the more nonsensical "face cancer" which I wish on people regularly.

    1. JustPixelz

      They grow up so fast! One day they just a bunch of wise-kids puttin' the squeeze on a lemonade stand. Next thing you know they have a PAC and are twisting arms at a GOP fundraiser.

  3. ttommyunger

    Not to be outdone, apparently Maryland has now thrown its tinfoil hat into the "Most Dickish State in the Union" Competition. Lookout Arizona, Texas, Arkansas, Virginia, et. al.

          1. ttommyunger

            Frankly, I am personally familiar with the State, and wouldn't piss on it if it were on fire, regardless of political make-up.

        1. flamingpdog

          True, Maryland is a blue state. As a former resident, I will object to its tinfoil characterization, but not to its dickish characterization. In fact, being that this was rich, white, soccer-mom Montgomery County, I would be inclined to suspect that the dick contest between the moms and the inspector was a tie.

          1. ttommyunger

            As I replied earlier, I am personally familiar with the State and am not favorably impressed, regardless of political bent.

          2. C_R_Eature

            All I know is that Randian fucker congressman Harris fits right in with the mindset of the upper to mid Eastern Shore 'N he hain't even frum thair.

      1. Doktor Zoom

        Look, if you feed the hungry, then the naked are going to want to be clothed, and the sick will want to be healed, and who knows what sort of un-Christian hellhole the world will become?

    1. genxr

      An' drum up business with a killer social media campaign. I know a guy who's a twitter power-user, and just happens to be looking for a new job.

      1. JustPixelz

        They probably will. Because nothing characterizes contemporary upper-middle class parenting more than spending $20,000 in attorney fees on behalf of your child's occasional interests. Cut from Little League? Got a B in History? Can't sell lemonade? These are problems courts can solve.

    1. JustPixelz

      Child labor laws are just another example of "nanny state" government ramming regulations down our throat. You have to admire the Tea Party's 19th century ethos that would liberate our children's low-wage productive potential. Health care costs too high? Just find yourself a Doogie Howser "M.D." and pay him with Pokemon cards.

  4. Sue4466

    Selling lemonade to raise money for cancer research is socialism. First it's lemonade, next it's free health screenings. Shut it down now! Think of the children.*

    *The children without cancer.

    1. Fukui_sanYesOta

      The children *with* cancer shouldn't be on their parents' healthcare. They should be cleaning chimneys or something. *That's* American exceptionalism right there.

      There was a lovely lady on here (whose name I forget, unfortunately) who worked for the VA and was a fantastic proponent of socialized healthcare. It seems to be easy when you've seen it and very very hard if you're either some rich fuck who doesn't care or some poor fuck who can beg at the trill of a dogwhistle.

      1. Sue4466

        My husband works in healthcare (imaging tech) and he works in a hospital where he sees lots of ER patients. He's a total proponent of national healthcare. He knows that people go without and then use the ER when things get really bad.

        My brother-in-law is a doctor. He was in med school during the Clinton years and very much opposed to Clinton's healthcare efforts. Now, he was in med school through the Public Health Service, a branch of the military. So he was getting national healthcare through the military. Now that he's actually practiced as part of his PHS service, he's totally in favor of national healthcare.

        Because you're right, when you see it working and people benefitting, you can understand what's at stake when we don't do it. It is extremely sad living in the south with people distorting "give me liberty or give me death" to mean the liberty to die of treatable illnesses out of fear of "socialized medicine."

        1. Fukui_sanYesOta

          Fascinating. More first hand, if anecdotal, evidence that those in the know are proponents of socialized medicine.

          Rather like your husband, I used to work for an extremely good hospital in the UK as a grad student. MRI, CT, PET, all that. Of course, I grew up in the UK, so I'm used to having the NHS around. Now, having lived here for going on four years, I'm actually *shocked* that a great country like the USA doesn't have something similar. This isn't me blowing smoke up noses, I don't do that, but a country like the US should have some kind of socialized healthcare and it's a national shame that it doesn't. Screw those tea party fuckwits living on medicare, they don't know jack shit.

          1. Sue4466

            My husband's parents are from England and his grandparents also emigrated. All big fans of the healthcare system there.

            Sadly, many of the doctors my husband works with don't want national healthcare. Their entire concern is with how it will affect their income. So much for that hippocratic oath. Unless it was about harm to the bottom line.

          2. Fukui_sanYesOta

            The great export of the US health system was one that started affecting the surgeons and radiologists I'd work with – lawsuits. The cost of malpractice insurance had doubled in five years as patients had woken up to the idea that you could sue someone for making a mistake and get a million quid for it.

            Horrible.

          3. Sue4466

            Though the cost of malpractice insurance is still a really small percentage of healthcare costs in the US. It's overblown by the GOP, insurance companies, and the AMA, but still, it is not what drives the inflated cost of healthcare.

            One thing my husband would say drives up costs is the overuse of imaging, which is a huge profit center for hospitals and doctors' offices. While some of that might be about defensive medicine, a lot of it is about the failure to teach diagnostic skills to med students and even more to the limited time doctors now spend with patients which prevents them from doing more routine diagnostics such as thorough patient histories, which is itself the result of insurance companies meddling in patient care.

            While I'm sure there are many frivolous lawsuits filed against doctors, I also believe we need a way to compensate patients for doctors' "mistakes," where those mistakes can be things like removal of the wrong leg, etc.

          4. Dashboard_Jesus

            yes unfortunately since so many US citizens have seen their incomes/ pensions/ benefits decline since the Reagan years, many of them now look to the hopes of a big lawsuit (or the lottery/ gambling casinos, etc.) as their ticket to financial security since they now have virtually no hope of making it on their own…very sad state of affairs here indeed

          5. V572 [SSAN]

            In Italy the hospitals belong to the government and the doctors, nurses, techs, etc., are government employees. (Yes there are private clinics, mostly staffed by people the government system kicked out.) Ask any Italian if they'd like to trade their system for the US's. Or any Brit, where the current PM is promising to change NHS, but gets huffy when anyone suggests he might remodel it on the American model.

          6. ganmerlad

            I live most of the year in Ireland where socialized medicine has been turned into a nightmare due to political take-over, way BEFORE the country was bankrupted. "Cost cutting and efficiency" shredded it and turned it into a depressing as hell joke. Socialized medicine is great when it works, but you need to have the majority on board, and it can't be seen as a business proposal, and it can't be run by politicians. It needs to be seen as a human well being issue that is for the good of all, and I sadly can't see that happening in the US in the near future.

          7. Dashboard_Jesus

            I've worked on the *business* side of healthcare for almost 20 years now (mostly for physician groups) and can tell you honestly that THE best thing for ALL the citizens of this country would be universal, single payer health care, Medicare for all…we can't see about 25% of patients who need our care because they either have no insurance or are on Medicaid, which our docs won't participate in because we lose money on them (Medicaid reimburses about half what Medicare does, and the asshole Repigs are slashing M'caid everywhere!) As a physician friend of mine said at a recent conference for family medicine docs, the US does NOT have a health care *system* because that would imply integrated, coordinated, efficient delivery of health care…instead we have a 'health care-industrial complex' where every provider tries to get as big a piece of the $$$ pie as they can!

          8. Nothingisamiss

            Amen to all this. I, too, work in healthcare, and it's sad and tragic what happens here. Money, the Almighty.

    2. genxr

      Look, if we force children with cancer to pay for their own treatment, it would spur innovation in cost savings. The law of supply and demand would place a downward pressure on prices across the medical field, which benefits all of us. So none of your scare-mongering about little Timmy trying to decide which $0.59 drug he needs most. That's how markets work.

      I'm Paul Ryan and I approved this message.

  5. nounverb911

    Guess who's going to be the first "Worst Person in the World" on the new "Countdown" Monday.

  6. AntonovBureau

    You know, this is probably one of the only issues that the Tea Party and I will completely agree on – and I feel kind of dirty for saying this – fire those loser officials (without pension or severance). And that includes the lawmakers who came up with whatever rules they are citing.

    1. Poindexter718

      And if these juvenile beverage delinquents get together with your new T Party friends, you all can make Arnold Palmers! Refreshing. Cheers!

  7. PuckStopsHere

    By the way, did you see the shacks those people were living in? My heart goes out to those so poor, so destitute, so utterly without hope that the have to let others park on their sad (15-acre) plots.

    1. Fukui_sanYesOta

      Hahaha, what a great point.

      What are you doing kids!?! Fulfilling a market need?

    2. flamingpdog

      Probably they were selling lemonade for a dollar, and the lemonade inside the golf course was ten dollars. Any of you ever been to a professional sports event in Merca lately?

    1. finallyhappy

      Not in that neighborhood unless they are the servants' kids or the kids of the Ambassadors of South American countries- although I guess the kids in that neighborhood could hire other kids to work for them- from PG or Silver Spring

    1. RedneckMuslin

      Why do you think the fine was waived and they were allowed to re-open their stand? Whitey always wins, kids.

    2. flamingpdog

      One of the moms' name is Marriott? Maybe they got the fine set aside and apologized to because they are white and disgustingly wealthy?

  8. PsycWench

    So if the kids made $5 or $10 bucks for a charity that would be OK, but it's a serious violation to make enough money to pay for, I don't know, some extra lab rats or microscope slides? If the kids had brought in four figures would they be in jail now?

    1. Doktor Zoom

      Hot damn, she's good. Why haven't I heard about her before this?

      I guess if she keeps talking like this, she'll end up with a surveyor's symbol on her district…

      1. PuckStopsHere

        Thanks for the link. And here I didn't think there was anything to like about Toledo.

      2. smokefilledroommate

        She's been in Congress for a long time.. She made "news" awhile ago when she was encouraging people facing foreclosure to stay in their homes. I definitely wouldn't mind having her as my district rep!

      3. Sue4466

        Let's just hope she doesn't have any embarrassing pictures or stories in her past, 'cause then the Dems will insist she resign to avoid "the distraction."

    2. donner_froh

      Marcy Kaptur–I think she is the rep from the ninth district–northwest Ohio including Toledo–that has been crushed by the collapse of auto production and the offshoring of manufacturing.

      I.W.W. was big in Toledo in the 1930s–general strike. Perrysburg, Ohio is in the district. The GM plant there had a hyper-militant UAW local in the 1970s.

      She rules.

      1. Negropolis

        Northwest Ohio is basically an extension of Metro Detroit. Everything on US-23/I-75 between Saginaw and Toledo is basically in Detroit's sphere of influence.

        Hell, even her accent sounds like it's straight out of Metro Detroit.

  9. Doktor Zoom

    This is the sort of thing that could only happen in Obama's America. I weep for what our once-great country has become.

  10. soojank

    Ugh, Maryland. This is why we can't have nice things.

    Snark aside, whoever's paying $50 dollars for parking deserves to be ripped off. I saw parking for $5, all day for the US Open, today near my office. Riding in a bus for like 10 minutes is not that awful, folks.

    1. kissawookiee

      Heaven forfend. Ride a bus with the unwashes masses and all their children and chickens and assorted browns hanging off the roof blocking my access to the bar? Wait, what do you mean there's no bar?

      1. finallyhappy

        I have a friend who actually told me that- that only poor people ride the bus. I rode the bus twice this week to and from DC- I've gotten tired of being charged so much for our crappy subway system(and I am not poor but still don't want to be ripped off by Metro!)

        1. zhubajie

          One more example of how humiliating an experience it is to be poor inthe USA! That's major reason I continue to live in China. Why give upglory and honor for poverty and humiliation?Zhu Bajie

    2. Negropolis

      Where exactly was the US Open? I was wondering if people couldn't have just gotten to it via the metro.

      1. soojank

        Congressional Country Club. It's kind of far off from the main business area in Bethesda, actually. BUT, again, I'm fairly sure there's a bus from the Grosvenor-Strathmore metro station.

  11. Doktor Zoom

    Actually, since we're liberals, aren't we supposed to be cheering the heavy hand of Big Gummint Regulation? After all, this very scenario is the premise of the alleged "children's book," Help! Mom! There are Liberals Under My Bed!, a Culture War salvo in which mean old libruls interfere with two adorable free-enterprising kids trying to run a lemonade stand. Here's the Amazon summary of the book:

    This full-color illustrated book is a fun way for parents to teach young children the valuable lessons of conservatism. Written in simple text, readers can follow along with Tommy and Lou as they open a lemonade stand to earn money for a swing set. But when liberals start demanding that Tommy and Lou pay half their money in taxes, take down their picture of Jesus, and serve broccoli with every glass of lemonade, the young brothers experience the downside to living in Liberaland.

    Ha-ha, that's EXACTLY how I think about the world, all right!

    Edit: Longer, possibly too-long, but thoughful review at http://www.theliberal.co.uk/issue_13/reviews/chur… Gotta like a reviewer who compares Sarah Palin to Dogberry….

    1. KenLayIsAlive

      It's like my book about two Iraqi Children. It's called "Help! The American Neoconservatives Murdered My Parents While Some Blackwater Guys Raped Us!"

      The in the sequel, they become American citizens just as the Ryan Plan becomes law, and though the heart disease they got from a awful diet of catfood and McDonalds was probably treatable, they have no healthcare they die.

      Oh but serving broccoli with lemonade. That's awful.

      1. genxr

        Then there's the new conservative sensation, "I'm taking away your job, house, food, and health care. Now go the fuck to sleep."

    2. genxr

      That book is such a misrepresentation. You have to put the broccoli in a juicer, and stir it in to make broccoli lemonade. Or those bookish kids down the street reading Noam Chomsky will march down here and take you away to Siberia.

  12. C_R_Eature

    It's the fault of Big Government.

    This would never happen in the Libertarian paradise of Somalia.

    1. Radiotherapy

      The oddest, subtlest part of that scathing, appropriate comment is that in the short history of humankind, i.e. language, 50,000 years ago, the migration from Sub-Saharan Africa jump started our whole existence.

      1. C_R_Eature

        Dunno, but “the ability to pick up & point an AK-47″ is probably an essential part of the job description.Snark Off… I heard that the government of Puntland in the North has gotten its shit together, started to reimpose order and is having some success in cracking down on piracy. There's at least some Somali expats from here working there, in the Gov't. I do wish them well. The history of the coast is tragic, too.The rise of piracy among the fishing communities looks to be directly related to the collapse of the fishery via illegal foreign trawling and even toxic waste dumping. The Somali Coast Guard ceased to be an effective force during the Civil War, so the fishermen took to protection the coast themselves. Now, it's just an extortion business and a very lucrative one.

      2. not that Dewey

        I dunno either, but when I was 11 I toured Israel with my Grandmother's synagogue. We visited "The Good Fence", as it's called, which was "manned" by kids no older than I was, armed with Uzis.

        So these Maryland kids, if their lemonade stand ultimately fails, have a bright future as Lebanese soldiers (were it not for the blondness).

  13. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    The Koch brothers are probably moving to corner the lemonade market in Maryland, and paid off the inspector to crush the little vermin.

  14. MaxUdargo

    I don't think we should generalize from this example. I mean, it's still okay to be white, but some people are just too white. If those kids marry kids as white as them, their children will be fucking translucent. You've got to draw the line somewhere. Some people don't know when to stop. Wait, am I drunk again?

  15. MilwaukeeKent

    Actually,, while this may or may not tell the kids there is no American Dream, it screams loud an clear the more pertinent, real and useful fact that there will ALWAYS be bureaucracy! Just wait until those kids are working for large corporations, or in their case, likely inheriting one, where burueacracy thrives just as much as in government.

  16. weejee

    What about the OSHA & health violations? No safety glasses for squeezing the lemons; the wheels on the coaster wagon aren't chocked or otherwise secured to avoid rolling; one kid is barefoot serving foods and there is no sign behind the bush where the kids pee reminding them to wash their hands before returning to work. Clearly, the inspector should be fired for not fully doing his job. Incompetent douche, he coulda got that fine up to a couple of grand if he put forth any effort.

    1. Fukui_sanYesOta

      I know you're a conservative, and I know you're passionate about it. That's fine, no problem about that.

      Try to be funny or at least erudite. Come on, man, let's have a discussion. Weak jabs like that would be akin to me wandering over Breitbart and just posting "no blood for oil" or some shit like that.

      1. C_R_Eature

        Hey, man..don't bother fucking around with this (these) troll(s). discussion is not what it's (they are) here for – it's (they're) only here to piss you off & to try to throw a monkey wrench into the thread.

        I really do wish we had a better class of Trolls here. I mean, they're only Britebart lackeys after all and I don't expect William F. Buckley, but these ones can't support even a weak argument and (worse – much worse) aren't even funny.

        Tangling with them is like getting into a shit-throwing fight with a one armed monkey: you'll win,of course but what's the point and now there's shit everywhere and that goddammed monkey sure isn't going to pick it up.

        If you really want to mess with them, fine.The only thing to do is to pop them hard so they go away, because they're really only the emotional equivalent of 5th grade schoolyard bullies.. Displaying expertise in firearms or being an actual War Veteran will send them scurrying (I've seen it happen).

        Good luck, have Fun and BTW, Hi, Troll(s):
        If you're doing this for free:
        Hanging out with a bunch of people you despise just to be an asshole is something most people grew out of in Junior High School. If you don't have anything better to do – that's just sad.
        If you're getting paid for this:
        Some poor bastard is getting really ripped off. Ain't Capitalism Great?
        Very Sincerely Yours, C.R.

          1. C_R_Eature

            Thanks! I come here for fun & to talk w/folks like you and these creatures really piss me off. Had to get that off my chest.

          1. V572 [SSAN]

            Viciously funny indeed. He has been trolling around a bit lately under the handle Neilist_returns. The utterly gay Siamese kitteh-pic avatar is a pretty good indicator that it's really him.

        1. Noman

          "Tangling with them is like getting into a shit-throwing fight"

          Notice that it is you libunatics who have flung the first poo at every one of my posts here.

      2. Noman

        "Try to be funny or at least erudite."

        What does erudynamics have to do with this, it's not like we're flying a jet eroplane.

    2. Radiotherapy

      Yeah, those evil unions who built this country and comprise, what, 7% of the workforce now? I hope when your AC unit goes out, or you've got a leak in sewer pipe, that cheap labor you hired from the 7-11 can fix it.
      Go beat off to Palin posters you ass-knuckle.

      1. Noman

        "Yeah, those evil unions who built this country"

        I understand your logic.

        Because robber barons also built this country, we should extend them every courtesy, despite them being anachronisms.

        "7% of the workforce now?"

        The overall rate of union membership is just under 12%, which represents 7% in the private sector and 36% in the public sector.

        Furthermore, the private sectors which are most heavily unionized are utilities and telecom, which are so heavily government regulated that they might as well be public sector jobs.

        If your job has been sent overseas, you can thank a union for that.

        http://www.laborrelationscounsel.com/union-organi

        You're welcome. I enjoy educating libunatics.

        BTW, how are the industries which are unionized doing?

        1. Radiotherapy

          Because robber barons also built this country, we should extend them every courtesy, despite them being anachronisms.

          If you are comfortable with 0.1% of your fellow humans skimming off the top relentlessly, then good for you. Those same modern day robber barons/job creators are gnawing away at the core of this country.
          Those greedy bastards and their middle management lackeys have been trying to destroy unions for the last 50 years. Throw in globalization and exploitation of a cheap communist labor force and we are left with the de-industrialization of America. It's the FEAR of unions and management's poor ability to deal with labor in a fair and equitable manner that ripped the employment overseas.
          I'm not saying unions are perfect, but realize the incessant pressure that mgt. has put on them has warped their reality.
          And just so you know, my brother is a union steamfitter, and a Föx viewer. Yet for all the crap they put in his ears, he wouldn't dream of not being unionized. Like i said above if the compressor on your AC unit goes who would you want working on it? Some flunky, or a professional?
          I'll take labor over management any day.

          1. Noman

            "I'm not saying unions are perfect, but realize the incessant pressure that mgt. has put on them has warped their reality. "

            Consider the reverse – that unions get the management they deserve.

            Robber barons are as much an anachronism as are unions.

          2. Radiotherapy®

            Unions have no choice in who their middle manager overlords will be. The Capitalists hand pick their henchmen. Trade unions, at least, elect their leadership. Which one is more American? The "job creators", top scum, petty manager monarchy or a voice of the majority at the table?

            Let me reiterate: I'll take labor over management any day.

          3. Noman

            "Trade unions, at least, elect their leadership."

            Yeah, that's valid cuz there's no corruption in unions and they aren't run by powerful people.

            Got Hoffa?

          4. Noman

            " Yet for all the crap they put in his ears, he wouldn't dream of not being unionized. Like i said above if the compressor on your AC unit goes who would you want working on it? Some flunky, or a professional? "

            Unions have a death grip on the neck of some industries.

            If you want to work in some areas, you cannot do that unless you join. So of course some people are going to say they want to be in a union because they can't find work without doing that.

            Also, unions have taken over the function of education and certification in some areas as well. Free-market training facilities can't compete against that.

            I personally avoid union labor at every chance I get. I wish that cars and other big ticket items came with a label that identified the percent of union content, so I could avoid products with higher union labor behind them.

          5. glamourdammerung

            I personally avoid union labor at every chance I get.

            Easy to do when your whole purpose in life is to troll a website.

          6. glamourdammerung

            So says the coward that keeps changing the subject admit that their pathetic existence revolves around trolling a website. Or their inability to "man up" and take personal responsibility for their deserved ban.

          7. fuflans

            i belong to three unions and tend to agree with you about the stifling impact unions have – especially on younger members of the profession.

            however – as someone who has also spent two decades in corporate america – it seems to me that bosses, management, corporations face almost no constraints on their positions of power. i can't ever argue with with them. i can't even bring it up. i don't have their resources, $$$, lawyers.

            my personal solution to this conundrum is to hate all organized authority and listen to a lot of clash or ru paul depending on the day.

            but this is not necessarily constructive.

            also, and far more importantly, why do you have an ant avatar?

          8. Noman

            " why do you have an ant avatar?"

            It is rather captivating, isn't it. Is that an ant on my screen?

            First, think of the role ants play in our lives. They fill a truly useful function, but we don't like them. They don't care about our ravings. And we can't get rid of them, despite our best efforts.

            Second, I knew the intelligentsia here would fixate on bug or pest references and I do like to lead libunatics around by the snout.

            Dance, libunatics, dance!

            I change avatars every now and then, so there will be more to come.

        2. glamourdammerung

          Ah, you think you have some credibility after trolling here for several months in between crying about how "non-communists are banned" here.

          Also, a random link does not validate your unrelated points. You are welcome. I enjoy educating mentally unstable morons.

          1. Noman

            I would be embarrassed if I had credibility among libunatics. Your approval is not something which I seek.

            On the flip side of that – consider how many libunatics here whimpered about me not posting, while I was banned, and now that I'm here, they're flipping out about that. You folks really are intolerant of dissent.

            BTW, this ID was banned for quite some time. I don't know why the ban was lifted. I'm assuming it was a technical error.

          2. glamourdammerung

            I would be embarrassed if I had credibility among libunatics. Your approval is not something which I seek.

            Just our attention, which you alternate between seeking and crying about having gotten. Apparently, your life is miserable enough that you need attention and can only get it by acting like a moron on a website.

            However, my point about the random link not validating your earlier nonsense stands.

          3. Noman

            Peer pressure and the need for approval run much stronger among libunatics. Don't assume I seek your approval.

          4. glamourdammerung

            Peer pressure and the need for approval run much stronger among libunatics.

            Which totally explains your gloating about acting like a fool here on Big Failure so much in between asking for backup and crying about bans.

            If I am going to be nice enough to give you the attention you so desperately crave though, you should at least be decent enough to read what you are replying to.

          5. Noman

            Why does that downfisting troll just TD our posts and never comment?

            Why does that troll comment, he's such an attention-seeker?

          6. glamourdammerung

            Why does that downfisting troll just TD our posts and never comment?

            Because they are usually banned on multiple accounts for stupidity like making fun of the murder of 9 year old children.

            Come on, trying to claim you do not post here in a post is a perfect example of your intellectual and logical tendencies here.

          7. Radiotherapy®

            Are we "the mob" that Mann Coulter calls liberals now?
            How idiotic!
            I would say the denizens here are diverse and independent, mostly anti-socialists , with a broad and humorous view of the world.
            As opposed to Breitfart, where every comment is essentially predictable and redundant.
            Go over there and say ANYTHING negative about Palin. Or ANYTHING positive about Obama. Predictable. Trite. Devoid of amusement.

          8. Noman

            "T"

            "All of them, Katy."

            "I for one welcome our snark-monitor overlords."

            "…when Dick Cheney drops dead…."

            "Bristol….Trig….Caribou Barbie…"

            "Racists…homophobes…"
            Yeah, nothing trite, redundant, petty, predictable, or devoid of amusement here…

            The truly amusing thing is that you libunatics think you are so very special and superior, but you really aren't. And if you read the posts here while employing a minimum of integrity, you'd realize that group-think runs rampant.

    3. Negropolis

      You should be banned for being so goddamned stupid.

      You're not funny, intelligent, clever…you're not even a real conservative. So, what the fuck are you?

      1. Noman

        "You should be banned for being so goddamned stupid. "

        You should be revered here for your arrogance, judgmentalism, and elitism, which are fundamental to libunacy.

        1. glamourdammerung

          You should be revered here for your arrogance, judgmentalism, and elitism, which are fundamental to libunacy.

          Too bad you are too stupid and/or dishonest to see how insipid that comment you just made was.

  17. Callyson

    "Cute little kids making five or 10 dollars is a little bit different than making hundreds. You've got coolers and coolers here," Marriott claimed the inspector said
    Jealous much, bureaucrat?
    When life gives you lemons, fuck the lemonade–go straight for the Two Buck Chuck, kids….

    1. weejee

      Wonder if they could give each player 3 gottchas on the greens, or maybe hit the ball while riding on dirt bike, or scooter, or Hover-roundz. Naaa, still would suck.

  18. Fukui_sanYesOta

    Are you claiming that the majority of the tea party are modern Pavlov's dogs who are incapable of true free thought? That might be insulting.

    Oh wait, I've seen tea party rallies. Never mind.

  19. emmelemm

    Actually, it's a bureaucracy win, not a bureaucracy fail. They just netted $500 for the government coffers! And isn't that the point of having a government bureaucracy? To suck up our all mighty dollars in service of big, bad government?

    (that was sarcasm, btw)

    1. ganmerlad

      UPDATE: Montgomery county officials have allowed the children to reopen their lemonade stand, by relocating it about 100-feet away from the intersection where it was set up Thursday.

      The county permits director Jennifer Harris says the neighborhood children, who are raising money to fight pediatric cancer, needed to move their stand from the "main strip," to a more private, safer area. The $500 fine was also waived. http://www.wusa9.com/news/article/155167/158/County-To-Allow-Lemonade-Stand-500-Fine-Waived
      ——-
      I wish this kind of compromise and common sense was the norm rather than the 'excetion'.

  20. Radiotherapy

    OK, c'mon, these little poor richy, rich kids are from Potomac, MD. Their scum sucking lawyer fathers and military contractor parents make more in 5 minutes than their little illegal operation makes over the whole time their sham is perpetrated. There isn't a property around that golf course isn't worth 3/4 of a million dollars. I call bullshit.

      1. Radiotherapy

        You're not talking about the person on the right….right? Because he's got bigger tits than her.

    1. flamingpdog

      And with all due to respect to awsome Kristin BJ (but Sara, if you're lurking, you're still #1!), I suspect 72 months of these kids' allowances would probably buy them a Hummer and a Harley, too.
      Also.

    2. emmelemm

      Sweets, a 2 br. bungalow built on a postage stamp lot in 1910 will cost ya $750,000 in Seattle. Those houses better be worth 7.5 mil or GTFO.

      1. soojank

        Yeah, I was about to say… my Maryland suburb (that might be redundant) isn't nearly as posh as Potomac, and an average house cost like 1 million.

    3. carlgt1

      really — the American dream has long been DEAD if you're not fortunate enough to be born into a white-bread family with a McMansion next to a golf course….

    4. finallyhappy

      What, can you buy a place there for 3/4 of a million??? Seriously, I doubt it – unless there are condos-small condos.

  21. BarackMyWorld

    The worst part is this going to give Limbaugh/Hannity/Beck/O'Reilly/Ingraham/Cavuto at least a week's worth of material.

    Clear Channel/TRN/Fox should send these kids a royalty check.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      Not that adorable bureaucrats and officious children are any great shakes, either.

  22. DerrickWildcat

    My favorite part about Maryland is their stupid State Song:

    " I hear the distant thunder-hum,
    Maryland!
    The Old Line bugle, fife, and drum,
    Maryland!
    She is not dead, nor deaf, nor dumb-
    Huzza! She spurns the Northern scum!
    She breathes! She burns! She'll come! She'll come!
    Maryland! My Maryland!"

    They still have this weird Civil War state song, which refers to Lincoln as a tyrant and Northerners as scum.
    http://www.msa.md.gov/msa/mdmanual/01glance/html/

    1. Sharkey

      Whew! I think she just came.

      (P. S. I think at some point in my childhood I was forced to sing this song. This is why I follow you, ole EscapeGoatNation.)

    2. finallyhappy

      I didn't know we had a song. I am going to ask my legislators to change it – to anything else

  23. Negropolis

    Sorry, but I hate suburban DC. It's gotten insanely wealthy, and attracted all of the bad personality disorders that come with that.

    BTW, those are the blondest fucking children I've ever seen in my life.

    1. flamingpdog

      They can set up their next lemonade stand in Anacostia. Doubt they'll see "the man" show up there anytime soon.

    2. HistoriCat

      You can probably say "I hate suburban ___" about any big city in the country and be able to put "It's gotten insanely wealthy and attracted all of the bad personality disorders that come with that" after it.

      They all suck.

      1. Negropolis

        Suburban DC I've found to be exceptionally bland, and it's wealthy even by wealthy county standards. It's either the first or second most wealthy metropolitan area in the nation.

        Again, sorry if this is your neck of the woods, but in my mind, a lot of suburbs at least have some kind of historic reason for being behind them. Metro Detroit is the extension of the white collar jobs in the auto industry, the Bay Area is an extension of the tech industry. There is no reason a city like Washington, that's supposed to be based on public service, should be anywhere near as large and wealthy as it's become. It's vulgar given the local economy. All it is, now, is defense contractors, a kind of blatant representation of the bloated military industrial complex. Sorry for the rant, but I'm not a fan of what Washington's become, at all.

        1. HistoriCat

          Oh no argument that DC's suburbs are the epitome of suburbia's faults. But I think they just are #1. Everyone else is just playing catch-up. I maintain that they all suck.

          But you're right – the DC suburbs are the hellish result of our incestuous government/military/lobbying greed circle.

    3. finallyhappy

      Insanely wealthy- I may be insane – but where do I get the wealth???? We are not blond- and I won't discuss the fucking

      1. fuflans

        actually they ALL scare the bejesus out of me. seriously over-entitled bunch of rich white people making the $$$ and talking the talk.

        with children of the corn.

  24. fuflans

    has anyone else been able to doublefist comments? sometimes i'll be sitting backstage bored and idly upfist a bunch of you perverts. then i get home and get on my computer and am able to REfist the same group of perverts.

    is this just me? cause it's AWESOME.

  25. Doktor Zoom

    And Calvin got some antipsychotics and stopped hallucinating that his toy tiger could talk.

    And Beetle Bailey got sent to Afghanistan, where he was killed by an IED.

    And Cathy was loathed by everyone who knew her because she was whiny, repetitive, and never the least bit funny (OK, so some things don't change).

  26. Negropolis

    Guys, could you stop feeding this latest troll? Some are rather fun to play with; others make enough of an effort to where it can be useful to debate them. This one is neither of those things. Ignore it. Ignore like Republicans do the pleas of an orphaned child begging for his food rations not to be cut, or the pleas of a migrant worker for the wages he was promised for the day.

      1. glamourdammerung

        Their choice of avatar is apt though. An annoyance at the picnic that is Wonkette.

        And life.

    1. Rotundo_

      I just downfist the smarmy shit and move on. There is nothing to say to it, no reasoning, no intelligence behind it. It does seem like a pretty lame hobby to take up: Just as surely as most of us would find camping on Andy's Magic Kingdom a real slab of hell with idiot sauce, it must feel the same way camping on Wonkette. I really wish I knew why. If someone is paying the numbnuts it isn't money well spent, cause they aren't converting anyone to the cause, whatever that might be.

      1. AJWjr.

        I didn't want to be the 1st to bring that up, thanks. Many years ago when I drove trucks for a living, my employer would waive the per diem rate limit if I stayed at a Marriott. my boss was married to a Mormon, and she figured that the extra 10% Marriott's charged went right into the church's coffers, so it was OK. Magic accounting!

  27. denverite

    I'll play devil's advocate, the inspector's right. Those gallons & gallons of lemonade become a petri dish when sitting out there for hours.

    Plus I have a thing against yuppie, uppity blond moms –and kids.

    1. El Pinche

      Yeah, uppity and unemployed moms. Mama Eva Braun needs to get a part-time job or do some volunteer work.. bootstraps n stuff. Maybe her childrens won't need to open up illegal lemon stands for lunch money. Private school sushi doesn't grow on trees.

    2. Peace in our time

      "Those gallons & gallons of lemonade become a petri dish when sitting out there for hours."

      Too acidic.

  28. Terry

    "By the time Rory McIlroy ended opening day at the top of the leader board, the county had backed down, canceled the fine and greenlighted the stand a few dozen feet away, down a side street."

    At least they backed down on this. sigh

  29. jus_wonderin

    I shudder to think of the line of vans (with "puppies" inside) lined up around that block.

  30. Ancient_Hacker

    Here in the Midwest we have even more Nazi inspectors– If your Hosta plant happens to have a leaf that hangs one inch over the sidewalk, you get a ticket.

    1. Peace in our time

      Maybe it was a Japanese Hosta.

      There is a lot of news about the radiation danger from their plants.

  31. ganmerlad

    I don't know if anyone pointed this out, but lemonade fascism happened in Portland Or less than a year ago and it made national news. (but I will give a link to the very librul NPR) http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2010/08/06/129024

    Fortunately, the county gov decided it was so absurd (see: embarrassing) that they put their foot down on intimidating young citrus drink entrepreneurs.

  32. ifthethunderdontgetya

    The county was simply following the Justice Department's lead, re: lemonade:

    The agents seemed keenly interested in Weiner’s home-based business, the Revolutionary Lemonade Stand, which sells silkscreened baby outfits and other clothes with socialist slogans, phrases like “Help Wanted: Revolutionaries.”

    Lemonade fascism starts at the top, people!
    ~

  33. Sparky_McGruff

    When I first read this, I saw "Pubic lemon", and whatddya know — that works too.

  34. carlgt1

    the kids should have just gotten the proper permit – then they could have ripped off their fellow Americans like god-fearing RepugliKKKans do in the name of Capitalist Jesus Rand (i.e. $50-$60 daily parking spaces)

    1. Noman

      No no no! People who vote Democrat shouldn't have to pay any taxes!

      And, Republicans should be made to listen to Rebecca Black's "Friday" song 24×7.

      1. ganmerlad

        Ah, I see snark is beginning to emerge at last. You aren't making any sense but the attitude is at least pointed in the right direction. Very good, leaf cutter.

  35. smitallica

    That's the problem with paying off lemonade stand inspectors. They just won't STAY paid off.

  36. genxr

    "The message to kids is, there is no American Dream."

    Now that's an education they don't teach in school.

  37. SheriffRoscoe

    Inspector must be new. Apparently he still doesn't know the #1 rule: Choose your battles carefully.

  38. Veritas78

    If the internet works the way it's s'posed to, this inspector will be publicly IDed within 24 hours, his family's life will be made a living hell within 36, and he'll have hanged himself within 48.

    Seems kinda slow, huh?

  39. Lazy Media

    Y'know what? This was a gigantic lemonade stand run by helicopter parents and STAFFED by adorable (aka future inherited-wealth shithead) children, who had been warned twice about the necessary fee required to compete with actual working class vendors, and had ignored it. Fuck them, and their Ivy League legacy scholarships.

    b

  40. Come here a minute

    Those kids would have done a lot more for children's cancer charities if they had asked their parents to write a big fucking check.

  41. voodooeconomics

    After topping $ 86,000.00 in daily sales the lemonade stand was closed. VP Of Sales resign immediately. He did not foresee a problem during the boom times.The courts will now decide the fate of all Officers of THE STAND Of Lemons.
    Many suspect foul play from competitors; Tangerine guys were really upset at THE STAND.

  42. Rayn_And

    …And they better not try any of that UNICEF shit on Halloween without the Solicitation Permit. We'll be watching.

  43. not that Dewey

    Are we summoning Fruhlinger? I'm down.

    Bill the cat got busted for buying over-the-counter hairball remedy.

  44. BlueStateLibel

    Are our rich capital overlords so hard up that they have to rent out their lawns for parking spaces (and of course charge absurd rates)? But I've always heard the richer the cheap grasping greedy bastards are, the worse they tip, so maybe I shouldn't be surprised.

  45. Walkinwiddaking

    If your kids look like they should be in the casting call for "Children of The Damn" you gotta expect shit like this.

  46. sezme

    "We didn’t like the children stealing American jobs, anyway."

    Back off, Sheriff Arpaio: those are technically Mexican jobs.

  47. Negropolis

    You lie! In Sarah Palin's America, everything, absolutely everything, is private. There will be only private lemon parties.

  48. genxr

    The kids should have traded in lemon default swaps and other stand-backed securities. No regulations there.

    1. Radiotherapy®

      Why don't you just quit like your idiot savant, snowbilly magnetism hero? I guess there's no money in it for you.

      1. Noman

        At least in your attacks on non-libunatics, you have the appropriate authorizations, unlike what Dear Leader has in terms of his attack on Libya.

      1. Radiotherapy®

        Libunatics. It's catching fire. Limbo, Innanity and Savage/Weiner are going to say it a thousand times tomorrow. It's going to be as big as Ishtar. Ezra Klein is trying to squelch it's usage on Journolist. At Breitfart it just surpassed Pigford as the most referenced topic. Get used to it, you Stalinist libunatics.

    1. Rotundo_

      Libunatics sounds like one of those cheesy exercise or learning programs that advertise ceaselessly on talk radio and 24 hour news channels. You'll either lose 20 pounds or increase your reading speed 50 percent in a month guaranteed!

    2. Doktor Zoom

      I find "libunatic" a singularly awful portmanteau–not because it's offensive to me, but because it's just so pathetically, haphazardly constructed, not even attempting a pun or anything. Hell, at least "democrap" or "demoncrat" or "democRAT" involve a teensy amount of wordplay. But "libunatic" is unspeakably lazy as an insult, a near nonsensical collision of syllables. It's just conservastupid.

      1. C_R_Eature

        It's also singularly awkward to attempt to pronounce, as well as ugly in print. I predict a spike – and -fizzle when the current apparent Googlebomb effort's over. We'll forget it a few days later.

        I always thought "Moonbat", as a takeoff on George Monbiot's name was at least pronounceable and almost pleasant to look at. Of course it turned to shit when Limbaugh started to say it.

        I like what Savage's done with "Santorum", though. Didn't even need to change a thing.

  49. mormos

    is there poignancy in this, or is it just a harbinger of doom for our society? Either way, what a douche.

  50. redamanda

    Did any "news organization" check to see how much the USGA golf nazis had to do with this"bust"?

  51. alzronnie

    Those kids live next to a country club so I'm sure that the messican domestic help actually made the lemonade and that mom and dad set up the stand for them too. Republicans are so adorable when they're little.

  52. MLite

    Thankfully this wasn't Alabama, because those kids looked Messican to me. I bet they didn't have their papers on them, so they would have been arrested and deported if they lived in Real America.

Comments are closed.