• May 27, 2012

Texas Lawmaker Yells Down Man For Speaking Messican In State Senate

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson  11:30 am June 17, 2011

we use english, just like the bibleThe Mexicans might be taking over the rest of America with their anchor babies and their Taco Bells, but God help Texas GOP Sen. Chris Harris if they will try to oppress him with their devil language while he is at work trying to oppress them. Texas lawmakers are busy trying to pass an Arizona-style bill giving law enforcement the right to ask anyone who looks Hispanic for proof of citizenship, which has the 37% of Texas residents who are Hispanic pretty annoyed. Speaking through a translator, immigrant rights activist Antolin Aguirre was trying to testify in Messican against the law when Harris interrupted him and demanded to know why he was using a lack of English to explain himself. Harris then mocked Aguirre for not being able to speak English as well as Messican after living in the U.S. for over 20 years. This is known as “Texas hospitality” for the non-whites. Video after the jump:

Doesn’t Aguirre know the official language of Texas is “just not Messican?” Arrest him, probably. [KTRH Newsradio]

{ 229 comments }

nounverb911 June 17, 2011 at 11:32 am

Rick Perrry looks Hispanic to me.

DaRooster June 17, 2011 at 11:39 am

Ricardo Perez?

El Pinche June 17, 2011 at 11:46 am

Ricardo Pelobueno

Chet Kincaid June 17, 2011 at 11:52 am

I heard that he was actually born in Ciudad Juarez, and a vast conspiracy has been hiding this ever since!

GeoffPeterson June 17, 2011 at 12:00 pm

I always wondered about that. The question is, does he look Hispanic or Asian to Sharrron Angle?

Chillwaver June 17, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Dubya + Ricardo Montalban = Rick Perry.

poncho_pilot June 17, 2011 at 2:22 pm

welcome to Fantasy Island! papers, please.

Angry_Marmot June 17, 2011 at 2:03 pm

Changed it from Ricki Pinga Perro when he swam across the border.

Negropolis June 17, 2011 at 9:44 pm

Perry looks a little Neanderthal, to me.

nounverb911 June 17, 2011 at 11:33 am

They speak English in Texas?

ifthethunderdontgetya June 17, 2011 at 11:36 am

They speak Murkin Patriot down in Texass.
~

SonofSpermcube June 18, 2011 at 5:25 am

Merkin Patriot: red white and blue vagina wig

AJWjr. June 17, 2011 at 11:37 am

Well, Spanglish, really.

Chillwaver June 17, 2011 at 11:38 am

They basically speak 3 languages:
- Horrible English
- Terrible Spanish
- A combination of the above (or "All of 'em, Katie")

OneDollarJuana June 17, 2011 at 3:07 pm

Not completely true. My wife's Mexican-born cousin who lives in Austin speaks flawless castellano and English. And hates the Right.

ChurchofRealism June 17, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Chris Harris doesn't speak English, he speaks Asshole.

ifthethunderdontgetya June 17, 2011 at 11:36 am

I knew some redstate would have to represent after Tennessee decided to regulate the series of tubes.

Keepin' it classy, TEXASS!
~

Dashboard_Jesus June 18, 2011 at 1:47 am

yeah, I had to make a couple comments on the YouTube video about the Texass morons and immediately got threatened with (virtual) gunfire by the morons…stay classy indeed!

Captain_Quark June 17, 2011 at 11:36 am

Freedom of speech holds only for English. What, you didn't get that memo?

nounverb911 June 17, 2011 at 11:37 am

It was written in Spanish.

riverside68 June 17, 2011 at 11:42 am

{redacted} is what [redacted] so that [redacted]. Which means [redacted]

This will result in [redacted] requiring us to [redacted]

Any questions?

jakegittes June 17, 2011 at 11:36 am

Hijo de la cabron.

BklynIlluminati June 17, 2011 at 7:26 pm

y la mama de Harris es la gran puta

TanzbodenKoenig June 17, 2011 at 11:36 am

If English was good enough for our Lord Jesus Christ then by gum its good enough for the Messicans

neiltheblaze June 17, 2011 at 11:41 am

This is why I think all good Christians should learn ancient Aramaic or else they're going to hell.

Chet Kincaid June 17, 2011 at 11:58 am

Mel Gibson learned Aramaic, and he's still going to hell.

bflrtsplk June 17, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Mel Gibson is already in hell.

horsedreamer_1 June 17, 2011 at 12:14 pm

&, yet, the Religious Right doesn't get down with Mormons.

Rotundo_ June 17, 2011 at 1:22 pm

If Jeebus came back speaking aramaic and did so in Texas, those ignorant fucks would beat him to death with a tire iron or a golf club before he got two sentences out.

KeepFnThatChicken June 17, 2011 at 1:52 pm

…or publicly humiliate him on YouTube.

Chillwaver June 17, 2011 at 11:37 am

Hey, pinche gringos: que paso en el Alamo, eh???

weejee June 17, 2011 at 11:47 am

Los racista Diques de la Revolución de Tejas están dando a la historia oral (si sabes a qué me refiero).

Chillwaver June 17, 2011 at 11:52 am

Que? Sexo oral?

weejee June 17, 2011 at 11:56 am

Perhaps should be Tortillera instead of Diques for the Dykes of the Tejas Revolution. My Spanish mostly serves to get me a beer and shopping.

Sparky_McGruff June 17, 2011 at 12:05 pm

What is this Alamo thing you're going on about? Maybe I saw something about it on the teevee. Maybe I forgot.

History books? TL;DR.

HistoriCat June 17, 2011 at 12:40 pm
SorosBot June 17, 2011 at 12:44 pm

That's because the Texans were fighting not because they hated Mexicans, but for their freedom; specifically, their freedom to continue owning black people as slaves.

horsedreamer_1 June 17, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Pablo Reves monto a caballo para avisar a los mejicanos que no quitaran los armas de los tejanos. Sonaron los timbres tambien.

DemmeFatale June 17, 2011 at 3:01 pm

I think it's weird that many Mexican cities have "Alamo" rental cars.

HistoriCat June 20, 2011 at 12:24 pm

Well it was a victorious battle for the Mexican army. Did the US not celebrate after the epic liberation of Grenada?

DemmeFatale June 20, 2011 at 2:18 pm

That shows how brainwashed we are here in US America!
I marvel at how a victorious battle for Mexico has been turned into symbol of Texan freedom and self-sacrifice.

Fucking Texas! (Sorry, Austin.)

Grief_Lessons June 17, 2011 at 11:37 am

English is best; that's why the Bible was dictated in English, by God, to King James.

calibrit June 17, 2011 at 11:55 am

Don't forget: God was also English. That's why the Lord's Prayer is in English also. QED.

Graham Cracker June 17, 2011 at 1:17 pm

Why did King James have to translate it then?

Grief_Lessons June 17, 2011 at 1:49 pm

Get thee behind me Satan. In those days they didn't have different words for "translation" and "transcription".

It's these kind of fact-based inquiries that belittle faith in our American religion.

Tengu June 17, 2011 at 11:38 am

So we can't use the word 'Texas'?

poncho_pilot June 17, 2011 at 2:31 pm

well, it was a Native American word…but there are plenty of other words they shouldn't be allowed to use butcher.

Negropolis June 17, 2011 at 9:54 pm

You think the guy would have reacted any differently if the speaker was speaking Objiwe? lol

poncho_pilot June 17, 2011 at 11:48 pm

fuck no. it wouldn't matter what language–Spanish, Chinese, Arabic, etc. and it wouldn't matter what language Harris spoke. an asshole is an asshole. fuck i hate Texas.

edgydrifter June 17, 2011 at 11:38 am

Go back to Africa, Messicans!

Negropolis June 17, 2011 at 9:54 pm

ROTFLMAO!

Surely, that gets you in the running for comment of the day.

Terry June 17, 2011 at 11:38 am

Oddly enough, a fair percentage of Hispanic Texans are Republicans. Perhaps this sort of crud will make them reconsider that.

Geminisunmars June 17, 2011 at 11:52 am

Stupid is as stupid does.

Guppy06 June 17, 2011 at 12:21 pm

Nah. They also happen to be Catholic. Abortion uber alles!

Lascauxcaveman June 17, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Catholic, and from a conservative paternalistic culture which glorifies wealth and works pretty hard to beat their women down. But I guess that sounds sorta redundant, now that I've said it.

4TheTurnstiles June 17, 2011 at 12:25 pm

No news there: rich browns hate poor browns, hope to be accepted by rich whites…

snoopyfan2010 June 17, 2011 at 12:48 pm

So true. Don't hate the player, hate the game?

CapeClod June 17, 2011 at 11:38 am

I sort of understand. I fly into a similar rage when some speaks Flemish to me.

DaRooster June 17, 2011 at 11:41 am

I speak Flemish… but I've had a cold or allergies or somethin'…

Lascauxcaveman June 17, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Oh, man. It just makes me want to punch those miserable fat Belgian bastards.

CapeClod June 17, 2011 at 1:34 pm

God damn "Sprouts."

Lascauxcaveman June 17, 2011 at 2:46 pm

Phlegms.

DemmeFatale June 17, 2011 at 3:07 pm

Arrgghh!
Those people, with their waffles, and chocolate, and beer, and Bruegel…
Speak French, dammit!

billy_reuben June 17, 2011 at 9:54 pm

In er art, in de dat…

Negropolis June 17, 2011 at 9:58 pm

You Walloon scum!

smokefilledroommate June 17, 2011 at 11:38 am

And then Harris began pelting Aguirre with an assortment of tacos y burritos.

jus_wonderin June 17, 2011 at 11:38 am

I am sic of these ig'nernt raycissts!

bagofmice June 17, 2011 at 1:49 pm

(sic)

memzilla June 17, 2011 at 11:38 am

Well, I've lived in Noo Yawk for over 20 years, and I don't speak Spanish… or Pakistani, or Hebrew, or Chinese, or Hindi. Which by this pendejo's standards, makes me culturally unfit to live here.

emmelemm June 17, 2011 at 12:54 pm

What about jive? Do you speak jive?

horsedreamer_1 June 17, 2011 at 1:23 pm

Sorry. His mouth is full. He's really enjoying that fish he's having.

HobbesEvilTwin June 17, 2011 at 11:38 am

I knew it wouldn't take too long for the Tejas legislature to re-take their lead over Arizona as the most disgusting state legislature.

Go Tejas!!

One_who_wanders June 17, 2011 at 12:19 pm

You can never count out Texas in the race to the bottom. (No, not the race to be a bottom.)

HistoriCat June 17, 2011 at 12:43 pm

No, not the race to be a bottom

I'm not so sure about Perry …

poncho_pilot June 17, 2011 at 2:34 pm

so what will Florida do now? they've got some crazy to make up and don't count out up and comer, Oklahoma.

anniegetyerfun June 17, 2011 at 3:25 pm

No messas con Tejas.

Negropolis June 17, 2011 at 10:01 pm

Your move, Mississippi…

Lucidamente1 June 17, 2011 at 11:38 am

Where's Molly Ivins when you need her?

nounverb911 June 17, 2011 at 11:42 am

Laughing her ass off in heaven.

emmelemm June 17, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Far better than rolling in her grave. Thank you.

KeepFnThatChicken June 17, 2011 at 11:42 am

Swear to no god. I miss her so much.

Doktor Zoom June 17, 2011 at 1:03 pm

Here's part of Molly's take on rhetorical brown-bashing:

I’m ready to bet Republican money, which after all hires the illegal workers, has too much at stake to let their party go off on a racist toot. You can let the right-wing radio commentators bloviate all they want, to get the young jackboots all stirred up, but it’s still Wal-Mart hiring these people. Believe me, their employers are big Republican donors.

Sad to say, I think she may have been too optimistic.

orygoon June 17, 2011 at 1:08 pm

I love the way she would tell about how she wrote some hilarious hit piece on some ignorant Republican sumbitch, and then she'd run into them around Austin and they would throw their chubby little arms wide and light up and holler "MOLLY! YEW WROTE ABOUT ME IN YORE PAPER!"
Maybe she did them some good, and that's all gone now.

Callyson June 17, 2011 at 11:39 am

Hey Chris Harris–chinga tu madre!
(This guy was complaining about being insulted by being spoken to in Spanish…just thought I'd let him know what a real insult sounds like…)

Poindexter718 June 17, 2011 at 11:39 am

Looks like President Rick Perry has found his ambassador to the U.N.!

nounverb911 June 17, 2011 at 11:40 am

Another fine graduate of the Yogi Berra School of Rithmatic.
"Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical."

Monsieur_Grumpe June 17, 2011 at 11:40 am

Senator Speak-Ah-D-English was just looking for something to mow his yard and raise his children. No offense was meant.

GuyClinch June 17, 2011 at 11:40 am

How do you say "racist horror-fuck" in Spanish?

weejee June 17, 2011 at 11:49 am

Rick Perry

Mapmonger June 17, 2011 at 12:20 pm

"Pinche puta pendejo baboso" should do just fine.

jus_wonderin June 17, 2011 at 11:41 am

Or lawn service.

KeepFnThatChicken June 17, 2011 at 11:42 am

Sir, did you happen to notice that he represents the goddamn Austin Immigrant Rights Coalition?! After his name, it was only the first fucking thing he said.

neiltheblaze June 17, 2011 at 11:42 am

I love Texan politicians. They wear their ignorance like a big, brassy, neon-lit badge.

UpfistFairy June 17, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Or belt buckle or bolo tie.

poncho_pilot June 17, 2011 at 2:41 pm

or, hopefully in the future, an albatross.

Beowoof June 17, 2011 at 11:42 am

I see you studied Texas Jeebuss math.

neiltheblaze June 17, 2011 at 11:47 am

It's the same math Republicans use to balance the budget.

hagajim June 17, 2011 at 11:42 am

Como se dice Fuckhead en espanol?

horsedreamer_1 June 17, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Imbecil.

genxr June 17, 2011 at 11:42 am

As soon as we deport that little dog, our economy will improve.

MissusBarry June 17, 2011 at 12:41 pm

Este perro esta muerta desde julio de 2009. No se si fue en un centro de detenccion de ICE.

Dashboard_Jesus June 18, 2011 at 1:36 am

speaka da Ingles por favor!

Mumbletypeg June 17, 2011 at 11:42 am

*sigh*
The more things change stay the same

WordSaladNation June 17, 2011 at 1:53 pm

That's my Congresscritter! We love him.

sportshort June 17, 2011 at 11:43 am

exas-Tay ucks-say or-fay oing-day is-thay.

edgydrifter June 17, 2011 at 11:43 am

"Burritos" will henceforth be called "Freedom Logs" to honor Texas' anglo heritage.

El Pinche June 17, 2011 at 11:49 am

I thought "Freedom Logs" is what you get after eating a burrito.

Sparky_McGruff June 17, 2011 at 12:11 pm

I've got a freedom log ready for GOP Sen. Chris Harris. I'll be happy to leave it on his doorstep in a flaming paper bag if he's too busy to pick it up himself.

AJWjr. June 17, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Isn't he already a Freedom Log Cabin Republican?

Native_of_SL_UT June 17, 2011 at 12:31 pm

Or you could have the Japanese make him a nice burger out of it for him.

CapeClod June 17, 2011 at 11:43 am

I had a reallly bad excetion last night. It must have been the chili.

El Pinche June 17, 2011 at 11:48 am

Chili=mescan food….the assimilation is going well ,bwahahaha

CapeClod June 17, 2011 at 12:11 pm

Damn those Messicans and their delicious, spicy food.

Swampgas_Man June 17, 2011 at 6:51 pm

Nah, musta been the German bean sprouts.

fartknocker June 17, 2011 at 11:43 am

Chris Harris is another religous sealot ball sack from Arlington. Arlington is home to the Cowboy Stadium, Ranger Stadium and 6 Flags so needless to say, traffic pretty much sucks everyday of the year in Arlington. It's the hole for the buckle of the Bible Belt.

What kind of hole is Chris the ball sack?

Ducksworthy June 17, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Hey. I object. Ball sacks serve a noble purpose.

DaRooster June 17, 2011 at 11:44 am

Fuckin' Texans ain't all that eazee to 'nderstand no how neether… Soun lahk they gots tiny li'l balls…

… in their mouths.

SorosBot June 17, 2011 at 12:03 pm

That's why this guy's outburst makes no sense; no one speaks English in Texas (or the South for that matter).

neiltheblaze June 17, 2011 at 12:23 pm

That's because the dudes with big balls want nothing to do with them.

Geminisunmars June 17, 2011 at 12:49 pm

All dey gots in Texus is tiny li'l balls

memzilla June 17, 2011 at 11:44 am

Texas' Rick Perry, Mississippi's Haley Barbour, and Arizona's Jan Brewer can all star in the new reality show, "Race To The Bottom."

chicken_thief June 17, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Don't give up on Scott in FL and Walker in WI – theyz'a tryin!

SorosBot June 17, 2011 at 11:45 am

I'm just glad that demographics trends show that it won't be too long before white folk are a minority in Texas. Then, the Mexicans and the black folks can team up and get their revenge.

fartknocker June 17, 2011 at 11:59 am

Actually, we whiteys are already a minority. That tipping point was reached about 4 years ago.

Another Wonketter succinctly captured my thoughts about Senator Harris using one word: pendejo.

Fare la Volpe June 17, 2011 at 1:53 pm

Watch, the Republicans will start an ad campaign targeted to blacks saying the Mexicans are trying to steal their jobs and daughters, and they'll create another one for Mexicans saying the blacks are trying to steal their jobs and daughters.

Permanent white upper class forever.

GeneralLerong June 17, 2011 at 2:02 pm

Nah. All the GOP has to do is wave the abortion flag, and the Catholic hispanics will bow down and vote Republican.

At least, that's what my one hispanic acquaintance always does. So I'm pretty sure that goes for the whole group.

UpFistTroll June 17, 2011 at 11:46 am

How's that secession thing going along again, Texas? You can bring Arizona and New Mexico along for the ride — if there's anything left of them that hasn't been burned to cinders, that is. But hey, collect enough of those cinders and you'll have enough blackface makeup to entertain yourselves for years!

jus_wonderin June 17, 2011 at 11:50 am

"I want my country back!"

genxr June 17, 2011 at 11:51 am

Downfist troll wants to preserve the union.

Mariecohn June 18, 2011 at 5:59 pm

Hey, there are some of us here in NM (obv not natives, he he) who didn't support the new old governor, and who register our spanish-speaking brothers and sisters for the takeover of the real majority in 2012! In fact, today was our first Day of Action, I think!

PsycWench June 17, 2011 at 11:46 am

English was invented in America, dammit! The name is misleading.

Maman June 17, 2011 at 11:47 am

Who would have guessed that you HAVE to speak English in a state with a Mexican name?

El Pinche June 17, 2011 at 11:47 am

Just wait honkeys..you'll soon be speakin mescan full-time also eatin burritos more often that before!

HistoriCat June 17, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Mmmmm … burritos. Can I get a side of boracho beans and rice? Maybe a flauta?

Geminisunmars June 17, 2011 at 11:50 am

You won't find any Hispanics there.

Lascauxcaveman June 17, 2011 at 12:27 pm

Yes you will. In the kitchen. Just not on the customer's side of the counter.

Geminisunmars June 17, 2011 at 12:39 pm

What was I thinking?

OkieDokieDog June 17, 2011 at 12:42 pm

This is why I only go to Taco Bueno. No Messicans at all. Except for the ones out repaving the parking lot.

Dashboard_Jesus June 18, 2011 at 1:42 am

ha, made me look Ms. 'Vintage Vaginal-American'…I love vaginal-americans of ALL vintages, tho I prefer those after about 1950 or so (less wrinkly of course! ;)

gullywompr June 17, 2011 at 11:52 am

Say 'que' again! Say 'que' again! I dare you! I double dare you, motherfucker, say 'que' one more goddamn time!

Dashboard_Jesus June 18, 2011 at 2:37 am

FUCKING WIN (one of my favorite cinematic scenes, now in Spanglish!)

FNMA June 17, 2011 at 11:54 am

"Son, when a man loves a woman…"

charlesdegoal June 17, 2011 at 11:54 am

Concerning the sign in the picture, I assume that Mayor Chester Strangecheck was constipated and meant to write "no excretions." Anybody can make a mistake.

prommie June 17, 2011 at 11:54 am

Don't mess with Texas. You'll only get it all over you.

baconzgood June 17, 2011 at 11:55 am

You stay classy Tex-ASS.

bordo2 June 17, 2011 at 11:56 am

If God was going to give America an enema, he'd put the hose right up through that shit-sack state of Texas. I visited there 12 years ago and it's one of the ugliest, hottest, shittiest looking places in our fair nation. And the landscape is fucked up, too.

Go ahead and secede, you bunch of cracker racist goobers with funny hats. We won't miss you and we have Arizona to take your place as another hot, ugly, shitty state filled with Republican dolts.

kissawookiee June 17, 2011 at 1:38 pm

Conveniently, the hot, ugly, shitty parts of the Arizona landscape are also home to the biggest concentrations of conservatives, racists, and/or Mormons. Texas is welcome to annex them, leaving us lovely Tucson, Prescott, Flagstaff, and Patagonia.

FNMA June 17, 2011 at 3:22 pm

We get to keep Austin too, right?

Dashboard_Jesus June 18, 2011 at 2:41 am

agreed, I went to school in Tucson (UofA) while my bestest childhood friend was at NAU in Flagstaff and we had some AWESOME times doing 'shrooms in the Grand Canyon (two Midwestern kids from Indiana who wanted to see a different part of 'Merka!)…Sedona is pretty nice also, too (and while driving thru the hellscape that is Phoenix I pretty much had my middle finger out the window of the 'ol Volvo the whole time!)

Swampgas_Man June 17, 2011 at 6:55 pm

I lived next door to Texas, in Oklahoma for 20 years (our motto– Just as ugly, but quieter), and if'n you left it twelve years back you ain't missed shit.

Dashboard_Jesus June 18, 2011 at 2:43 am

wow, you lived 20 FUCKING YEARS in Oklahoma? you oughta get some xtra karmic years just for enduring that level of hel!)l

DaSandman June 17, 2011 at 11:57 am

I spent a year in Texas one week. Give it back to the Messicans with an expensive bouquet of flowers and a Hallmark card that says we're really really sorry about the war.

Maybe we can trick them into taking that brain damaged shithole back.

calibrit June 17, 2011 at 11:58 am

What the hell kinda name is "Stranczek" anyway? Durn forner! 'n prolly a forn spy that's whut!

poncho_pilot June 17, 2011 at 2:52 pm

no, Poland is our ally. they sent 5.5 troops to Iraqistan or something.

metamarcisf June 17, 2011 at 12:02 pm

It's a simple issue to me: if our founding foreskins had written the first amendment in Spanish, well, then these wetbacks might have a case

Ducksworthy June 17, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Why eoes he this Harris boner want to mess with Aguirre the Wrath of God?

EatsBabyDingos June 17, 2011 at 12:04 pm

Must be a Virgo. His horrorscope (sic): You are logical and orderly. This nit picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold, unemotional, and often fall asleep while making love. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps and statues for the pidgeons to crap on. Most Virgos are murdered.

inapewetrust June 17, 2011 at 12:04 pm

hearing somebody speak spanish is "very insulting" to chris "dongnose" harris? what a dumb whiny titty baby. "let me get this straight, senator harris – you've been alive i'm guessing one hundred twenty years, and you can't open your mouth without pissing and moaning and becoming visibly enraged over literally nothing? shouldn't you be at home in bed, shouting at dr. phil on the teevee and cursing the souls of your children?"

Gopherit June 17, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Those who are too stupid to understand another person, whether do to language or cognitive barriers, always react as if the other person is rude for indirectly demonstrating their ignorance. From the bottom of my heart, I want to give a big Fuck you anyone who refuses to learn passible Spanish, but choose to live near the Mexican border. You all love the culture. Hell, texans smother themselves in it……so it's only your inherent racism…..and stupidity…..that keep you from doing it. And so you know, if you wonder whether that brown feller is saying something insulting about you…….the answer is probably yes.

SorosBot June 17, 2011 at 12:49 pm

It's like the people who get angry over having to spend five seconds to press 1 for English on the phone because companies want to accommodate people who speak other languages, or even when people near them are having a conversation in Spanish, Korean, Chinese, etc. I don't get it; why should anybody care that other people talk in their native languages, when it has absolutely nothing to do with them?

Mumbletypeg June 17, 2011 at 12:08 pm

un-Babel everything

Weird how cross-cultural fluency appears to intimidate those conflating American legitimacy with a bullying attitude about our lingua franca. I could have sworn in one or more of the prized Epistles of their holy book that its characters who outwardly displayed a divinely-endowed mastery of multiple languages, were received with awe and reverence, not derision.

SayItWithWookies June 17, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Well, that second language you refer to is only spoken in church and is but the echolalia of toddlers. Kinda like their version of science.

DashboardBuddha June 17, 2011 at 12:11 pm

Same hood, different day.

Redhead June 17, 2011 at 12:11 pm

At least he didn't accuse him of speaking Muslin.

Grief_Lessons June 17, 2011 at 12:12 pm

From Wikipedia, RE Crestwood, Illinois: "The Mayor is Robert Stranczek, son of former mayor, Chester Stranczek. Chester retired in October 2007, and it was then announced that Robert would be taking over his father's role as mayor."

Hereditary Succession is our way of Government. No Excesions. Learn It.

AJWjr. June 17, 2011 at 12:17 pm

And who is Hermano, anyway?

dopper0189 June 17, 2011 at 12:17 pm

So do we remain El Paso, San Antonio, Laredo, can't have no Messican language names cause there in Messican etc?

proudgrampa June 17, 2011 at 1:23 pm

Welcome to The Step, Texas!

Welcome to Saint Anthony, Texas!

Welcome to Lard, Texas!

Kind of lose their charm, no?

(I made up "Lard." There is no English equivalent for Laredo that I could find).

Soylent Green June 19, 2011 at 1:07 am

Yellow sounds so much more redneck than Amarillo, so start switchin'. Plano is too hoity-toity way when compared to Flat.

Buckminster June 17, 2011 at 12:19 pm

GOP: Now not just screwing you, but screwing the pooch simultaneously!

jonzin June 17, 2011 at 12:21 pm

I'm just shaking my head and sighing. It's not like this is out of character for these frog fuckers.

ttommyunger June 17, 2011 at 12:22 pm

If he had only told Senator Fucknose he was a Pentecostal Charismatic Christian speaking in tongues the whole room would have had no choice but to bow their empty heads and shut the fuck up. BTW, no wonder Mayor Alphabet is so patriotic; such an obvious 'Merikan name like that, no immigration in his fambly.

Native_of_SL_UT June 17, 2011 at 12:23 pm

So speaking Spanish is insulting?
Dude needs to spend some time on Wonkette so he can see what insulting really looks like.

genxr June 17, 2011 at 1:32 pm

He finds the idea that this world is populated with anything other than white christian males to be insulting.

Tommmcattt June 17, 2011 at 8:45 pm

I volunteer to show him!!!!!

Egregious644 June 17, 2011 at 12:24 pm

Why isn't Chris Harris' tie pulled up? What is he, some kind of hippie? What an insult to Texas voters! Impeach him!

SenileAgitation June 17, 2011 at 12:27 pm

While Senor Testifyin' Hombre speaking Spanish makes him credible and understandable to his Alliance constituents, and he is perhaps most eloquent in his native language, I don't see how he helps his case testifying that way before people who want to step on his balls. That is, he makes the point for the "20 years and he can't testify in English?!" crowd who most favor harsh immigration legislation. Or maybe I'm all wet.

genxr June 17, 2011 at 1:32 pm

I think he helps his case by outing some racist fuckwit who inevitably sez, "speakee english!"

Doktor Zoom June 17, 2011 at 1:42 pm

You're a deluded optimist, but I like you anyway.

bflrtsplk June 17, 2011 at 12:29 pm

What?

horsedreamer_1 June 17, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Estoy cansado de estos putos 'anchor-baby' en este pais de puto.

sezme June 17, 2011 at 12:31 pm

Cállate, pinche pendejo.

Come here a minute June 17, 2011 at 12:31 pm

¡Ay, el estómago!

AJWjr. June 17, 2011 at 12:32 pm

I wish it wasn't smack-dab in the way of getting to some better places though, like Mississippi or Alabama.

emmelemm June 17, 2011 at 12:43 pm

Nice. I like it.

Geminisunmars June 17, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Lo que es un insulto!

horsedreamer_1 June 17, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Una verguenza el web bilingue.

bflrtsplk June 17, 2011 at 12:48 pm

He was trying to say executions,or something. Wait, this is Texas. That ain't right.

orygoon June 17, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Please more stories about puppies and butterflies and the flowers that bloom in the spring, tra-la. I need to stop crying.

horsedreamer_1 June 17, 2011 at 12:53 pm

We call those "Citizen Councils" in Mississippi.

– Gov. Haley Barbour

Negropolis June 17, 2011 at 10:04 pm

Zing!

In Arizona, those are called "Minutemen" militia.

Fare la Volpe June 17, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Chíngate, pendejo.

zhubajie June 17, 2011 at 1:09 pm

They speak English in Texas?

freddymcmurray June 17, 2011 at 1:10 pm

et tu, harris? pinche tu!

BarackMyWorld June 17, 2011 at 1:11 pm

I really hope this makes it all the wayh to Rick Perry's desk. If he doesn't sign it, his dreams of getting the Republican presidential nomination are over. If he does sign it, his career in Texas is over. And, even better, if he signs it and is the 2012 nominee, the Republicans will have lost the Hispanic vote FOREVER, a la Goldwater in 1964 and African-Americans.

donner_froh June 17, 2011 at 1:14 pm

Don't know why these guys bother; the only official language for the United States of Amerikkka will be Mandarin. English and Spanish will be spoken only by quaint old people.

Doktor Zoom June 17, 2011 at 1:15 pm

Sadly, this incident probably did more to guarantee that Texas will pass their anti-immigrant bill than any other testimony. "See, Martha? They came and spoke Messican right in the Statehouse!! It's completely out of control!"

Also, they tirrrkk errrr JERRRBBSS!!

BarackMyWorld June 17, 2011 at 1:19 pm

"I DON'T REMEMBER ASKING YOU A GOD DAMN THING!"

genxr June 17, 2011 at 1:35 pm

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of racist fucktards and tyranny dickless men.

Fare la Volpe June 17, 2011 at 1:20 pm

I don't know what disgusts me more: that an elected official would conduct himself this way, or the not-even-trying-to-hide-it-anymore racism that fills those YouTube comments. Check out this little gem:

Yes, our time is running out. So is our civilization. 95% of all inventions in world history were made by WHITE MALES. Once we're gone, you will again revert to cutting out the hearts of people you don't like and throwing their severed heads down the sides of pyramids. Back to jungle mentality, which is all you know and all your people are capable of.
lesechang 7 seconds ago

natoslug June 17, 2011 at 1:22 pm

I started to weep for America, until I realized The Foreigns can be just as fucktarded as we are.

Jerri June 17, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Are they going to deport our old friend George "G-Dubs" W. Bush to Mexico then? I seem to recall him habla-ing some Espanol back in the day.

Fare la Volpe June 17, 2011 at 1:31 pm

I bet he forgets the Chinamen made the gunpowder he masturbates with so lovingly.

Doktor Zoom June 17, 2011 at 1:45 pm

What the fuck are you talking about? The chinaman is not the issue here. I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand. Across this line, you DO NOT… Also, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature.

Angry_Marmot June 17, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Walter, this isn't a guy who built the railroads here.

Billmatic June 17, 2011 at 1:31 pm

These are always my least favorite threads on Wonkette. You guys are really inordinately nasty to a state that if you think about it is probably majority against this bill, since 37% are documented mexican, god knows how many undocumented freedom loving immigrants and i'm going to guess at least 20-40% libs since that was Obama's vote against McCain. So we're talking at least half of the population thinking this is horseshit. And unlike libs in other states we'll fucking call them jackoff horseshit shoveling douchebags to their face.

Also y'all we *invented* legislators leaving the state to force the GOP controlled state leg to quit being fuckers.

I also submit to you the great Ronnie Earl that put Tom DeLay behind bars. And LBJ (except for that whole Nam thing) and Ann Richards (except for that whole prison thing).

And seriously you don't think this guy is doing himself a disservice by being an immigrant rights activist operating out of Austin that can't speak English to defend his cause to a bunch of racists? I mean seriously, that guy does kind of suck at his job.

Rotundo_ June 17, 2011 at 1:46 pm

Point well taken. But Texas always has and always will do things bigger and better, and this guy being an asshole is a prime example. But to balance things out you have folks like Hightower and others that make you realize there is much good in Texas as well. And thanks for the nuke the quorum inspiration. Wisconsin might not have done so without precedent from somewhere.

Billmatic June 17, 2011 at 1:48 pm

Yeah Jim Hightower, how could I forget the Texas Terrier.

Negropolis June 17, 2011 at 10:18 pm

Fuck Texas.

This is Wonkette; this is what we do; this is how we roll.

All states have their good and bad, and some clearly have more of one than the other. But that is neither here nor there. Everyone realizes that, and any such implications that we don't is an insult on a website like this.

So, sense of humor or GTFO.

Pres[EXTERMINATE!!] June 17, 2011 at 1:32 pm

The idea that Texans are racist against the Brownz is hilarious when you consider that all of the iconic gear of cowboys, who Texans luv, comes from Mexico…boots, spurs, even the ten-gallon hats. Vamosos, vaqueros!

Sue4466 June 17, 2011 at 1:34 pm

What's wrong with this guy? My father in law emigrated to the US from England more than 20 years ago and his English is perfect.

DaSandman June 17, 2011 at 1:34 pm

I was there on tour. My driver took me, without my permission, to Dealy Plaza and explained how Yankees deserved what they got in Texas. Coloreds too.

I explained that he was shitcanned there and then and he replied that it didn't matter, the other drivers were actually "Better Texans" then he was.

That and an all out riot in a restaurant in Fort Worth were enough to convince me that shithole wasn't a place for decent human beings although I am sure there are plenty trapped there

Pithaughn June 17, 2011 at 1:42 pm

Stop me if you've heard this one before:
Bigorty has a long proud history in Texas. For example, it was a dreary, foggy morning in San Antonio. March 6, 1836. William B. Travis and his aide de camp were on the lookout. Like ghostly apparitions, William saw President General Antonio López de Santa Anna and his dragoons approaching the Alamo; their brass buttons shined and glinting. The bayonets honed to a razors edge. Travis turned to his fellow lookout and said " are we floating concrete today?".

calibrit June 17, 2011 at 3:03 pm

I hates bigorty. Give me small orty anytime.

MLite June 17, 2011 at 1:50 pm

I have a great deal of sympathy for immigrants, but whose idea was it to send someone who needed a translator in front of the GOP dominated TEXAS Senate? Not really the best strategy, in my opinion. And this comment is too serious, so…TRUCK NUTZ!

OneYieldRegular June 17, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Aztlan really can't come soon enough to Tejas.

Come here a minute June 17, 2011 at 2:05 pm

¡Ay, la cabeza!

notreelyhelping June 17, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Wait? Isn't he the dude with the shotgun in "Easy Rider"? A little grayer, sure, but….

sati_demise June 17, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Wonder if they still arrest men for 'driving with long hair' in Texass?

thefrontpage June 17, 2011 at 3:50 pm

Is Texas still a part of the United States? Didn't they leave the union a couple of years ago, or do they just act like they did?

EPA: Please, please test the water supplies in government buildingas and homes in Texas, Arizona, Mississippi, Wisconsin, Michigan, Florida, Louisiana, South Carolina and Maine, because most of the politicians in these states have lost their minds, are turning psycho, and are becoming brain-dead zombies.

chascates June 17, 2011 at 3:50 pm

"I don't care if you are deaf, I don't speak sign language, get it?"

smitallica June 17, 2011 at 4:08 pm

While Senator Harris is insulted by this man speaking his own native language, I am even more insulted by Harris speaking MY native language to say such ignorant shit.

Oh, and Senator, Arlington is a shithole. So fuck you.

carlgt1 June 17, 2011 at 5:37 pm

"get off my lawn" has been Repug policy since 1968….

Negropolis June 17, 2011 at 9:47 pm

In Michigan, all we have spittin' into our shawarmas are Arabs.

Negropolis June 17, 2011 at 10:09 pm

Needz moar Ann Richards. Really.

SonofSpermcube June 18, 2011 at 5:39 am

Please, PLEASE let the south rise again.

JustPixelz June 18, 2011 at 9:43 am

A young woman from China started working my office. One morning, thanks to the google, I was able to greet her with a friendly "nee how mai mai" which literally means "Hello little sister". She started laughing then explained that phrase was a way of flirting in China.. Lesson learned, though I'm unclear why it was so funny that I might flirt. After that she called me Mr. Qing Wa, (青蛙) which probably means "handsome and intelligent".

JustPixelz June 18, 2011 at 9:51 am

It could have been better, he could have asked the hombre how long his family has lived in America. For most native Mexicans, the answer is "at least 10,000 years".

Soylent Green June 19, 2011 at 1:01 am

and lets start by renaming all those spanish-sounding towns to their 'mericun names. Yeah, Amarillo – get used to 'Yellow'.

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