if only all our bombs were filled with glitter

Glitter Bomb Strikes Tim Pawlenty At Book Signing

GOP presidential candidate and gay marriage opponent Tim something-or-other was unwisely lurking around signing books in known homosexual watering hole San Francisco when he was, as the kids say, “glitter-bombed.” Code Pink activists dumped an envelope of pink glitter on Pawlenty and yelled at him. Previously, helmet-haired balloon-head human Newt Gingrich had the special privilege of being the candidate progressives most loved to cover in sparkles. Iraqis throw shoes, gays throw glitter. Anyway, here is your next dark horse sour-faced GOP presidential candidate having glitter thrown at him:

[City Pages/ YouTube]

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  • http://www.neoseeker.com/forums/ Madfall

    This guy should never be referred to as anything but T-Paw, because it makes him sound like the miserable neutered housecat of a candidate he undoubtedly is.

    • the_problem_child

      Hey! neutered housecats have great lives! Less fighting, more sleeping, and basically unelectable is fine with them.

      • http://www.neoseeker.com/forums/ Madfall

        They make great pets, but do you really want one as the leader?

        • OurHoboSenator

          I for one welcome our new neutered housecat overlords.

          • horsedreamer_1

            If it means that creep Perry Ferrell becomes the new Dick Cheney, then yes.

            Ritual de lo Habitual is a hugely underrated album.

        • the_problem_child

          No, I don't. Which I why I neuter them. I am the alpha around here. No spraying in my corners.

        • DahBoner

          Ball-less cats make terrible leaders.

          They are more spiritual, like a Dali Lama that sheds all over…

    • Arken

      Pawlenty sounds like a brand of oatmeal to me.

      • Radiotherapy

        Oatmeal is boring.

        • Arken

          I'm not saying it's a good thing. I'm just saying I can envision a box of Pawlenty's Hearty Cinnamon Apple Oatmeal on a supermarket shelf.

        • V572 [SSAN]

          Boring but it leeches the bad cholesterol right out of your bloodstream, allowing you to have a thick, juicy steak for dinner that night.

      • SayItWithWookies

        He should change his name to Filboid Studge.

    • http://www.wonkette.com TanzbodenKoenig

      Hey, my neutered male housecat resents that remark

      • emmelemm

        Mea maxima culpa – my finger slipped on an upfist to become a downfist. Therefore, I leave you a comment saying, Amen!

        My neutered male housecat who's still mostly a kitten is just as fierce post-neutering as he was beforehand. He has mellowed nary a bit. Wolfie sez: I don't need balls to be in charge of all you bitches.

  • Barb

    They should have drenched him in Crazy Glue first.

    • http://www.neoseeker.com/forums/ Madfall

      Excellent point.

    • Noman

      Sounds like something Clinton made on Monica's dress.

      • ThundercatHo

        Dude, you are so out of your league here it's pathetic.

        • Noman

          Oh, I know that I'm as elite as the libunatics here.

      • SmutBoffin

        Wait, was that a joke!? That was a joke! HAVE AN UPFIST

        Feels good, dontit?

      • CalamityJames

        Haha, you're so stupid! That was semen, not crazy glue, you stupid fuck.

        • Arken

          Ever try to glue two pieces of broken plate together with semen? It just doesn't work.

          • Barb

            Nope, not even if it is bone china. Doesn't work.

          • CalamityJames

            Dammit Barb, now your Comment of the Day award is gonna require context.

          • CalamityJames

            Ever try to get a guy onto some hi-rise construction site with some semen on his helmet?

          • Arken

            Why, do you know someone interested?

          • OhNoGuy

            Try it with bone china and get back to me.

          • Arken

            Incidentally, that will be the name of the upcoming sex tape of a former member of Wilson Phillips.

  • pinkocommi

    Glitter is the only way T-Paw will ever achieve a scintillating presence.

    • hagajim

      I don't think even glitter can help.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Fred Karger strikes again.

  • neiltheblaze

    Well, you can still see the beige peeking through.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Pshaw, it happens. Rick Santorum really butters my croissant when it comes to rage inducement.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    Good and Pawlenty.

    He should be happy, this is much better than his usual reception, 'zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz'.
    ~

  • petehammer

    I'd recognize that place anywhere – Moscone Center?

    How… ironic (?)

  • petehammer

    Watched to the end, and Youtube recommended:

    "Up Next: Lit Cosmetics(Best Glitter Ever!)" with some 13-yo girl.

    Oh, Youtube…

    • emmelemm

      Oh, artificial intelligence trying to formulate connections like a human brain… and failing. FOR NOW! Today, "YouTube recommends," tomorrow, SKYNET.

      Although at the rate our "society" is going, Skynet would be an improvement.

  • DashboardBuddha

    "poo"

    Considering what the Japanese are up to and the way things are going anyway, all I can say it "it's a sin to waste food".

  • BloviateMe

    Someone needs to teach him how to Dougie.

  • Come here a minute

    This video was taken through a closet door cracked open. Where's the courage to stand?

  • ttommyunger

    "Courage to Stand"- Forward by Charles Krauthammer.

    • Come here a minute

      Poor choice of title for the Hoveround crowd.

      • ttommyunger

        “Inability to Stand”, more like it.

    • V572 [SSAN]

      K-Hammer's fellow Locomotive-Americans approve of your comment.

      • ttommyunger

        Hahahaha!

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      TPaw is braggin' about leaving the seat up? Thas a pisser.

      • ttommyunger

        I suspect the “T” squats to pee.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Tim who? He would need a couple of pounds of that stuff poured on him before he could be considered even vaguely interesting.

    • Come here a minute

      And sprayed with Krazy Glue first.

      Edit: Oops.

      • Noman

        "Krazy Glue"

        Ala Clinton & the blue dress?

    • OhNoGuy

      He needs a few pounds of anything…..to be considered a lightweight.

  • Noman

    "These potential GOP/Teabaggie nominees are so damn annoying that I'm having violent thoughts."

    Under that sweet facade of snarkiness on the face of every progressive jihadi is the violent soul of a Jared Lee.

    • http://intensedebate.com/logout Gleem_McShineys

      SCARY!! I POOPED

      (On the plus side, CONGRATS! YOU'RE A FATHER NOW! Name suggestion: "Hyperbowle Brown")

    • BlueStateLibel

      Don't worry, as T-Paw is the Least Interesting Man in the World, the worst violence he'll ever inspire from the liberal jihadists is a collective yawn. I'm getting sleepy just thinking about him..

      • Fukui_sanYesOta

        "I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink Budweiser. Preferably in a chilled glass, but not too cold otherwise I might get a cold hand. Served with salted potato chips, but not those ridged ones."

    • karen

      Shit, he's on to us! To the Wonk Cave!

    • bagofmice

      There's nothing that brings to mind a liberal jihad quite like the sight of falling glitter.

      • Fukui_sanYesOta

        Gosh, a liberal jihad would be quite something. Led by a shadowy figure known for his jaunty patterned sweaters, beard and pipe, the Liberal Jihad wouldn't so much fight as seriously discuss social issues with a view to improving society. The manifesto would never get written due to wrangling over gender-specific pronouns and whether to use a serif font. There might be a bake sale fundraiser, but there'd be slight rumblings of discontent over pork-pie-hat-wearing hipsters trying to make it ironic.

        • V572 [SSAN]

          A bake sale? Are you trying to poison us with the high-fructose corn syrup icing on those muffins?

          • Fukui_sanYesOta

            I'll probably be arrested by the Santorum Police for admitting this, but I can bake. Fuck corn syrup in icing, you don't need it.

    • OkieDokieDog

      uh yeah, Norm, I'm so progressive jihadist that the best I could do is think about setting a bag of doggy poo aflame, and probably miss hitting T-Paw since I throw like a girl. (I am a girl – well not a girl, but female) anyhoo…

      I don't own a 33 clip killer gun, but I bet you know plenty of people who do in your little teahadist bible camp meeting, or where ever it is that you socialize with other Jared Lee types.

    • OhNoGuy

      I think Timmy peed his pants as he leaped back from the IGD (Improvised Glitter Device), just like our brave troops in Whatthefockistan.

      "I hope the janitors are Republicans"
      he said,
      " 'cause I need that Reagan cred."

      • emmelemm

        TIMMMMEHHHH!!

  • bumfug

    As soon as the glitter touched Pawlenty it turned gray.

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      Out of nowhere some tumbleweed blew past, and a lonely church bell tolled in the distance. Battleship-gray clouds rolled in and it began to drizzle.

      • bumfug

        Damn, bro, that's fuckin' poetry.

      • OhNoGuy

        Sounds like Timmy's arrival at an orgy.

        • Fukui_sanYesOta

          Hahaha, can you even imagine?

          Scene: a dimly lit room in red. People writhe together in deviant sexual pleasure. Hookahs and an array of drug paraphernalia are obviously extant. A feeling of hedonism is palpable. A gray man walks in.

          T-Paw: Hey everybody! Do you have any avocado dip? I brought doritos!

          Heads turn. The atmosphere turns from hedonism to uncomfortable self-consciousness. People shuffle towards exits

          T-Paw: What about those new KY extreme feeling condoms, eh?

          People start to run rather than shuffle

    • calibrit

      Oh noes! T-Paw is this decade's John Major!

      • horsedreamer_1

        New GOP talking-point: Obama America's Iron "Lady" — Drag Queen in the White House breeds contempt in Muslim world — War on Terror turns south.

  • nounverb911

    T-Paw needs more santorum.

    • HistoriCat

      T-Paw makes even ass fucking boring.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Isn't glitter a little too exciting for T-Paw?

  • SmutBoffin

    EAT METALIZED PAPER BITS OATMEAL MAN

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    "Pay no attention to the Frank Luntz behind the curtain"

    • emmelemm

      Kochs behind curtain.

  • TheJasonAlexanderFanClub

    Least it wasn't Santorum — glitter is hard to clean up on its own.

  • Arken

    Fun fact: 'Jihad,' in Arabic, means 'struggle to achieve' and is not religious on its own. So guess what, kid? Whatever politics you subscribe to, if you want the country to run that way, you're a jihadi too. And you, and you, and you too!

    • zhubajie

      For some people, jihad is the struggle to reach past their stomach and put on their shoes!

      • Arken

        *bows head in shame*

    • OhNoGuy

      Noman has a script and he has to follow it, please do not distract him or he will not get that 50 cents per word.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Say what you will about her book club, but Oprah's interpretation of the Hadith is novel.

  • Callyson

    About a supposed $500B cut to Medicare under HCR:
    In Fact, Savings Come From Reducing Inefficien­cy; Experts Predict Quality Of Care Under Medicare Will Not Decline
    FactCheck: Cost-Savin­g Provisions Are "Not A Slashing Of The Current Medicare Budget Or Benefits." According to FactCheck.­org:
    Whatever you want to call them, it's a $500 billion reduction in the growth of future spending over 10 years, not a slashing of the current Medicare budget or benefits. It's true that those who get their coverage through Medicare Advantage'­s private plans (about 22 percent of Medicare enrollees) would see fewer add-on benefits; the bill aims to reduce the heftier payments made by the government to Medicare Advantage plans, compared with regular fee-for-se­rvice Medicare. The Democrats' bill also boosts certain benefits: It makes preventive care free and closes the "doughnut hole," a current gap in prescripti­on drug coverage for seniors. [FactCheck­.org, 3/19/10] http://mediamatters.org/research/201105260029
    Speaking of hate, though, how much do you get paid per comment?

    • horsedreamer_1

      This needs to be on the tip of the tongue of every leftist &/or "leftist" appearing on cable news pundit shows.

      Katrina van den Heuvel, don't let Chris Matthews deter you from your appointed rounds!

    • Noman

      1) Medical costs trend upwards due to increased number and types of treatments and also due to inflation. Expenditures were planned based on expectations that costs would rise and that more treatments would become available. If you are close to ANY elderly people, you'll know from their experiences that benefits are already being cut and that it's getting harder for them to find physicians who accept Medicare. The cuts on the Medicare budget are truly cuts.

      BTW, if Medicare is so great and efficient, why could we cut $500 billion from planned expenditures?

      2) The doughnut hole is a good thing because it encourages people to evaluate their medications. When you have to pay for something, you tend to take a closer look at whether or not you need it. Younger people have a hard time grasping this concept because they may take few if any medications on a regular basis. However, it's not uncommon for an elderly person to take 10 to 20 or even 30 different pills per day, prescribed by multiple physicians. Of those 10-30 pills, it is quite likely that the person does not need them all. If they have to pay a bit for them, then they are more likely to thoroughly question their prescriptions.
      3) Where do I go to get paid for this? Please share the secret!

  • NorthStarSpanx

    It's probably the best form of bukkake he could ever hope for, in public that is.

  • Schmannnity

    Rip Taylor: King of Confetti and political pioneer.

  • http://www.defendwisconsin.org/ natl_indecency_cmdr

    Michele Bachmann pegs Tim Pawlenty.

  • http://www.defendwisconsin.org/ natl_indecency_cmdr

    p.s. where the fuck my wishconshin post at? http://www.defendwisconsin.org/

  • Tommmcattt

    Wait, what happened again? I'd watch the clip but the second I see Pawlenty I doze off.

  • sati_demise

    the glitter of doom. it wrecked Newt and will wreck Tpaw

    mark my words.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Code Pink would rather annoy Pawlenty. Bend over, Newt, and then pay someone to kiss your ass goodbye.

  • Negropolis

    On Pawlenty? Really? What a waste of glitter. He's deserving of nothing above an oatmeal bomb…or maybe a soy bomb.

    • horsedreamer_1

      I hate that the talentless provocateur, with no reason to be at the Grammy Awards, overshadowed Ol' Dirty's interruption of Shawn Colvin's acceptance for best new artist (I think was the category).

      &, remember, WU TANG IS FOR THE CHILDREN! WIN THE FUTURE!

      • Negropolis

        Which is why soy bomb would be the best person to soy bomb Pawlenty. He's deserving of nothing beyond a talentless provacateur with even less reason to be anywhere than Tim Pawlenty.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    I almost thought I saw someone, but I guess it was just the glitter.

    • http://theblueelite.blogspot.com simplyblue7

      Why did they post a vide of Code Pink throwing glitter at an empty chair?

  • carlgt1

    all that glitters is not…tea?

  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    There is not enough glitter in the world to help Pawman.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Can we throw santorum on… nevermind.

  • Billmatic

    This glitterbomber needs to make Mr. Bachmann a priority.

  • PabaBritannica

    Who is Tim Plenty or whatever she was saying?

  • DaSandman

    You crazy gheys have some deadly ninja aim.

    Long may you run. Do them all! Collect the set!

  • Janinthepan

    Those Code Pink activists must have trained for months so they that they wouldn't pass out from boredom before they could glitter bomb him.

  • fuflans

    code pink is way more fun with glitter than it ever was with anything else.

  • http://assistantatlas.blogspot.com/ assistantatlas

    This is literally the most exciting thing that has ever happened in Tim Pawlenty's entire life.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    A fucking drum circle and some douchebag who thinks it's a great forum for his free-form poetry. Gah. This is why liberals always get a bad rap. There's always some douchebag with bad art of whatever kind. Proud and sad.

  • SilverTsunami

    The polenta man has his name on the front of a book?

  • ShaveTheWhales

    This is quite a late comment, but I must rema zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

  • Peace in our time

    Amish jihad!