Multimillionaire Investor Mitt Romney To Jobless Poor: ‘I’m Also Unemployed’

  oh for god's sake

What is this even from?Human oddity Mitt Romney is one of the richest people in the world, with a fortune worth hundreds of millions of dollars. He is a businessman and investor and was born into a great deal of wealth that he has transformed into even more wealth, because the poor stay poor and the rich get rich. But he’s also running for president, which requires occasional encounters with carefully selected, docile members of the American working/starving class. So when Mittens sat down with a few unemployed folk today for a photo op, he didn’t offer any of his hundreds of millions of dollars to them. Instead, bizarrely, he said, “I’m also unemployed.”

The New York Times reports:

TAMPA, Fla. — Mitt Romney sat at the head of the table at a coffee shop here on Thursday, listening to a group of unemployed Floridians explain the challenges of looking for work. When they finished, he weighed in with a predicament of his own.

“I should tell my story,” Mr. Romney said. “I’m also unemployed.”

He chuckled. The eight people gathered around him, who had just finished talking about strategies of finding employment in a slow-to-recover economy, joined him in laughter.

 
Related video

Really now. They “joined him in laughter”? We’ve seen this kind of laughter before, and it is most certainly not of the “laughing with” variety. It’s the “can you believe the nerve of this motherfucking cracker” variety.

Why does Mittens even bother? Because he’s a space alien who desperately wants to be accepted by the Earthlings, even though he has no idea what that might entail. [NYT]

Related

About the author

Wonkette Jr., everybody! Hooray!

View all articles by Wonkette Jr.

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

201 comments

  1. GunToting[Redacted]

    So are we to assume from this comment that he's hired Xtine O'Donnell's campaign adviser?

  2. hagajim

    “I should tell my story,” Mr. Romney said. “I’m also unemployed.”…but I'm unemployed because I am richer than God and I got that way by eliminating a bunch of jobs you poor fucks used to have, for efficiency. Now hire me to be Preznit and I will make sure you never work again and starve in the streets to boot. Thank you very much.

    1. hooray4anything

      Not sure the story of "I've been unemployed because I've been running for President every day for the past four years" is going to go over well with the unemployed folks.

      1. chicken_thief

        Especially if he admits that the money he wasted on his pipe dream is more than the rest of the people in the building will make in their lifetimes – combined!

      2. GOPCrusher

        Most of the unemployed people I know, don't usually have a chauffeur driving the stretch Lincoln Limo.

  3. missemish

    Man, I got so busy at work today that I didn't eat till 1:00! I'm just like those starving children in Africa, I totally get what they're going through!

    1. kissawookiee

      Yeah, and when I took a shower at the gym this morning I was naked for a while! Just like the people who get their clothes from the Salvation Army or whatever, also. Today we are all naked poors.

  4. LiveToServeYa

    How lucky Mitt is to represent both of the Two Americas and to express it with the famous Mormon wit. Mitt-wit.

      1. PristineODummy

        Whatever gave you that idea? It's well-known (or well-bruited about, which is kinda the same thing, no?) that he's got the big money boys backing his campaign. Which is why he's "leading" every "poll," despite the fact that teh poors and teh nekkies don't seem to want him very much.

    1. PristineODummy

      If I'd been there, sure. The current crop of poorz seem a mite inhibited on that account, though. No one's even tried to pull Mitt's Hair Helmet off his head. How does that thing stay so perfectly waxed, does anyone know?

  5. Oblios_Cap

    So with Barry, you spend $10 and get to eat at his table, where you might be able to get a beer. With Mittens, you have to pay for your meal, listen to bad jokes and Mitt's campaign staff stiffs the waitstaff and probably walks out on the tab. Plus, no cola, coffee, tea or alcohol.

    Christ on a Cracker.

  6. samsuncle

    Mitt chuckled got up and left and stiffed them for the coffee. The Republican base gets shafted again.

  7. petehammer

    Here's a short story that this reminds me of.

    On my old job I come into work. Woman who I really, really don't like comes in (she's from Georgia, had the debutante ball, comes from money, generally just a privileged ass). She complains that her bank charged her a $550 insufficient funds fee. I say, "Holy Cow, that can't be right! That's way beyond normal"

    She explains that she told her daddy that she wanted a mini cooper and he sent her a check for $30,000 and then she went and bought the mini cooper but the check hadn't cleared yet so they charged her $550.

    I thought then what I think now:

    "I would love to have your problems."

    (On a sidenote, she had ruined her BMW from college by driving it for 25,000 until it wouldn't start one day. She had never changed the oil and destroyed the engine. So, good news for BMW owners – you can drive 25,000 miles without changing the oil!)

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        Mine takes 7 quarts, that's too much time to drain and refill, so, no.

        Good thing, too, because most of those other BMW drivers would probably just pour the used oil down the storm drain.

        You know how to tell a BMW from a porcupine? On a porcupine, the prick is on the outside.

        1. Dashboard_Jesus

          wait a minute, didn't you just say that YOU drive a BMW? AND a Mini? (elitist prick!)

    1. PsycWench

      That beats my comparable story: our family knew a prominent lawyer (he was a nice enough guy, grew up poor) and his spoiled brat daughter. She came home after her college graduation, and regaled us with a story of how she had been caught speeding within our city limits, had been pulled over and the officer saw her license, KNEW WHO SHE WAS AND STILL GAVE HER THE TICKET. Apparently the routine was supposed to be "so and so's daughter? never mind". The response to the story was dead silence, but only on the outside.

  8. Eve8Apples

    if the fudgepacker can't get himself a job, why the hell should I trust him to create one for me? When I'm looking for work, I don't consult the unemployed hobos living under the bridge on how to find a job.

    1. AJWjr.

      Like the wingnuts always say, when's the last time an unemployed bum ever created a job, hengh?

    1. EatsBabyDingos

      With its magic Fruits of the Loons undergarments, and Cap'n Crunchy Dingleberries.

  9. SayItWithWookies

    Yeah Mitt — some people are unemployed because they can't find a job, which is terrible. And others are unemployed because they'd rather pay 15% taxes on their stock dividends than work for a goddamn living and pay the oppressive government rate of 35% on some non-demanding figurehead bullshit job at Daddy's corporation. You're probably a sucky tipper too, asshole.

  10. Fare la Volpe

    Like most Americans, I become positively miffed when my buxom French maid doesn't fluff my diamond-studded Johnson gently enough. It's almost enough for me to tell my chauffeur, "Drop her at the summer mansion!" just to be rid of her.

    Shucks, good help is so hard to find these days, am I right folks?

  11. Captain_Quark

    He forgot to add "I'm also a pandering fuckstick. What would you like me to pretend I believe?"

  12. TanzbodenKoenig

    "Yes, just like you I'm unemployed. Except unlike you, I already have millions of dollars and continue to rake in millions more from bilking ignorant rubes who contribute to my campaign thinking I give a shit about anything except my impeccable hair, and insatiable lust for power."

  13. SexySmurf

    And that's why he's forced to blow truckers for nickles.

    Or maybe he just does it for fun.

  14. Oblios_Cap

    Yes, but did she give good head? Why did you leave out the most important part of the story?

    1. petehammer

      She looked like and acted the equivalent of a 12-yo.

      There was nothing sexy about the situation.

      1. DahBoner

        "She looked like and acted the equivalent of a 12-yo. "

        But isn't this the way all rich, spoiled kids of Republicans act????

          1. DahBoner

            You bring up a good point–it's not Republican's fault for having sex with kids.

            Because adult Republicans act like 12 year olds.

            Who can tell the difference?

      2. Fare la Volpe

        If a busty blonde 20-something can bed a crusty old geezer for the money, you can bite the bullet and pound the woman-child for a few whore diamonds.

        1. chicken_thief

          Nothing like pushing them spoiled bitches just a little past their kink tolerance. Make a game out of it!!!

  15. Swampgas_Man

    Heh, funnily enough I just got the Last Payment on my Extended Benefits today. When does Gov. Mittsey get HIS cutoff date?

  16. inapewetrust

    well then why doesn't he get off his lazy ass and go get a job changing adult diapers for six bucks an hour, instead of lolling around the house watching judge joe brown and smoking drugs all day? does he think that society will just give him some cushy government job? mitt romney is what's wrong with america!

  17. Fare la Volpe

    In Mitt's defense, most of his unemployed years were spent trapped on a desert island with his wife, a movie star, and a coconut phone.

    1. Eve8Apples

      Is like W. Bush assuring Iraqi war veterans with traumatic head injuries that he understands what they're going through because he is a war veteran too.

      1. FNMA

        I thought it was because Dubya also had a traumatic head injury. Or was that just stupidity. I could be wrong.

    2. baconzgood

      I thank you guys. I'm trying to invent a new type of thread. Instead of "you know who else…..".

      The new Dupont Baconzgood Thread (patent pending) is:

      " ______ saying ______ is like ______ saying ______".

        1. baconzgood

          It's like those High school tests. A nail is to wood as a hammer is to a homeless man's head.

          Ya see it's easy.

  18. Oblios_Cap

    So – did they have poopburgers for lunch? I imagine that the Fudgepacker has a ready supply of those hanging around.

  19. BaldarTFlagass

    Well, the only reason I can think of for me to hope that he gets the Repub nomination is so he can remain unemployed come January 2013.

  20. SmutBoffin

    One of the diners later asked Mitt about his chances against Barack Obama in a debate. Mitt replied, "Is this one of your Earth jokes? Of course I shall vanquish president-unit Obama during the upcoming discursive/interrogative competition!

    End transmission."

    1. ChessieNefercat

      Are you suggesting that perhaps he chose today's lead-footed joke from yet another carefully prepared daily list of folksy witticisms, handed to him with his breakfast?

      "Here you go, Mr. Mittens, sir. Just choose a couple of these to memorize and the peasants witll think you are one of them. They will vote for you because you make them laugh and forget that they think they have problems."

    2. zhubajie

      You don't think he'd take a chance on talking like this to any *dangerous* poor people? No chance of a punch in the mouth or a more serious ass-kicking?

  21. DashboardBuddha

    If we Americans had any sense of moral outrage, the glares alone would have sliced that silver-spooned motherfucker to deli shreds.

    1. GOPCrusher

      Oh I'm sure that the "unemployed" that he met with were probably vetted with the question "Do you blame the Kenyan, Socialist, Muslin, Usurper in the White House for the fact that you do not have a job?"

    2. PristineODummy

      What I don't understand is, given the way things have been for the past decade, why isn't there a workers' revolution?

    1. PristineODummy

      I'm hoping for "forever," but I could be persuaded to stand with you. So long as yon fucker is nowhere near the WH or other reins of power.

  22. petehammer

    I'm guessing, given the BMW incident, the "cream" was for gas and maintenance.

    She told us all proudly that her parents kept a framed confederate flag in the household. We had a long discussion about that.

    1. DahBoner

      "She told us all proudly that her parents kept a framed confederate flag in the household."

      I sure hope she learned you something about "tradition", boy…

      1. petehammer

        That was, in sum, her argument. "Heritage, not hate." How it was her great grandpappy's and all.

        I brought up that my ancestry was German but that my parents didn't fly a swastika. That did nothing to calm the argument down.

        (Also, my ancestors fled Germany before WWI as draft-dodgers).

        1. snoopyfan2010

          Wrong argument. You should have asked her why she was proud of belonging to the losing side. And then display the Real American flag at your desk the next day.

        2. PristineODummy

          Clearly, your ancestors were well-equipped in the brain department, unlike yon bratty lass. "S/he who lives and runs away may live to fight another day." Or, if your family's anything like mine, lives to keep moving out of war zones before war starts until finally forcibly uh, Shanghaied into, by supreme bad timing, WW II itself. I've made sure none of ours will end up in WW III by the sensible expedient of refusing to add scions to the family tree. People of our ilk are allergic to war, since we tend to end up as cannon fodder.

    2. AJWjr.

      BMWs and Minis both come with routine maintenance covered, so no excuse for what she did to that Beemer.

      1. finallyhappy

        In the past her parents' slaves took her car for maintenance but living on her own, she thought it would just happen- like everything else did for her

      2. fuflans

        if my check engine light came on yesterday, would that be covered?

        probably not and i am very poor right now.

        1. AJWjr.

          Not likely. I'd bet you can afford a roll of electrical tape to cover the light with, right?

  23. Mumbletypeg

    It occurs to me while regarding the accompanying photo: Mitt is not fudging the truth — he's practicing safe exceptionalism, massaging his message in a sheath of fraternal similitude while he gently inserts the impression that nothing comes between him and his constituents, not even his grossly distended take on their differences in background.

    Sorry — it was either that or a misconceived 'Separate but fecal' joke that I couldn't bring to term.

  24. prommie

    "The law, in its majestic equality, forbids both the rich and the poor from sleeping under bridges." Don't you stupid poors understand, thats fair? How could you be more fair than that?

  25. CapeClod

    Romney added:
    "Since you guys have a lot of free time, why don't you volunteer to work for my campaign?"

  26. SorosBot

    Let's make that more accurate:"One of the ways my sons are showing support for our nation is helping me get elected because they get handed a nice, cushy campaign job paid for by my donors instead of actually having to work for a living; not that they'll ever have to, they've got a rich dad."

  27. SorosBot

    For his next trick, Mittens will say that he knows the pain of the housing market collapse because some of his vacation homes are now worth less than he paid for them to a group of people living out of their cars since the bank foreclosed on their houses.

  28. KeepFnThatChicken

    On the lighter side, his campaign video doesn't use 80's rap and black actors to exploit white fear.

  29. Chet Kincaid

    Romney sat down later with a group of Tampa escorts to compare notes on the working life. "Girls, I've walked a mile in your pumps. Looking happy and pretty while Limbaugh's fat belly slaps against your ass cheeks is no day at the summer home!"

  30. easybaked

    All of this is fine and good. What I wanna know is:

    Where does he stand on the California desert tortoises? Hengh?

  31. hooray4anything

    Part of me says Crazy-Eyes because it's obvious that this country needs to be smashed into tinier and tinier pieces before people FINALLY wise up and realize the huge amounts of lunacy we've swallowed over the past years or so and nobody could do it better than Bachmann. Of course, while all this is happening, I'll be spending my days in Canada or Denmark so it won't affect me but I'm sure the rest of you won't mind.

    1. finallyhappy

      yep, we'd be moving too- I've been watching House Hunters International- wonder if a house is still cheaper in Port Douglas than here in the MD suburbs?

  32. hooray4anything

    If Mitt really wants to show that he's unemployed, he needs to call up unemployment and beg for a new extension and then call up temp agencies only to find out that he's overqualified for an admin position and they can't get him anything.

    1. chicken_thief

      I was going to say "Newt", but I'm sure looking for a new wife is a full time job for that fat fuck.

  33. ChessieNefercat

    "We’ve seen this kind of laughter before, and it is most certainly not of the “laughing with” variety. It’s the “can you believe the nerve of this motherfucking cracker” variety."

    Strong possibility it was nervous laughter, as in, "We are powerless and unemployed, so let's laugh with the crazy millionaire asshole, not at him. God knows what he'll do otherwise."

  34. chicken_thief

    In fairness to Romney, what he said was much kinder than his initial thought, which was: WTF, goobers. Think I give a shit?! Your freakin tales of woe are killing my buzz. Crew, get me the fuck outta here!

  35. James Michael Curley

    :We’ve seen this kind of laughter before, and it is most certainly not of the “laughing with” variety. It’s the “can you believe the nerve of this motherfucking cracker” variety."

    I met a few people in Stockholm who responded to adversity in the same way.

  36. anniegetyerfun

    I too, lack health care coverage! Haha, but of course, I could afford to buy a hospital and the lives of all the personnel in it.

  37. ChessieNefercat

    It is probably my imagination, but Mittens seems to me to be exhibiting just the tiniest hint of shrill desperation underneath his carefully cultivated shirt-collar-ad-businessman image and his you-can-tell-I-practiced-for-the-debate attitude.

    How long before he goes full Bachmann?

  38. BlueStateLibel

    …and then he visited a children's cancer ward and laughed at them all, just for the LOLs.

    Seriously, it's like they're not even trying anymore.

    1. carolinaswamp

      Be fair. Mittens had a headache once, and it took ages for the maid to fetch the liquid morphine. He knows how those children in the cancer ward feel!

  39. neiltheblaze

    Mitt should have one of the "I'm spending my kid's inheritance" bumper stickers on his car. Or he could put it on the back of the dog carrier on the roof.

  40. GOPCrusher

    Well he did say that he hoped Obama failed as a President, and the Republiklans have done everything they can to make his dream come true. Unfortunately, they have to destroy America to do it.

  41. Redhead

    And then he looked at the cancer patient on the other side of him and said, "why, I'm losing weight right now too! How many pounds have you lost this month?"

      1. finallyhappy

        Nader is a self-serving asshole- and you know what- the next time, I see him eating at Skewers in DC- I think I will finally tell him that.

        1. DrBobNM

          doesn't he drive a Maverick, or something? (not a Corvair, that's for sure, LOL) He could have been rich, but kept it real. I hate nearly all his views, but he didn't sell out to the potential fame.

      2. Nothingisamiss

        Sorry, but unless his talk is all about his narcissistic overreach and hair trigger temper, he doesn't really walk the walk.

        (And, you know what? He really couldn't sell out even if he wanted to. He's an asshole, and not the kind the Kochs like, so there's no money for him.)

  42. WilliamHTaft

    Well that does it. I'm finally convinced that the GOP isn't a snarling pack of greedy authoritarians, but rather a large company of skilled performance artists. That said, I don't get it.

    1. Nothingisamiss

      If I can start believing this, maybe my liver won't explode with the fire inside me that rages any time I hear one of these cretinous gelatos speak.

  43. deanbooth

    I saw a PBS film on the Warsaw Ghetto the other day. The Nazis forced Jews to applaud and laugh in a movie theater so they could film them. If you didn't laugh, you'd be beaten. I'm not saying Romney's quip is similar — it just reminded me of this.

    I also heard that while doing his Mormon missionary work, Romney proselytized patrons coming out of a theater playing Shindler's List.

  44. zhubajie

    Palin. I love the phrase "Abomination of Palination." Also, she'd make the US hit bottom, after which things would get better.

  45. zhubajie

    Start over again with something like the Israeli Parliament. They're fucked up, too, but with at least a dozen political parties, we'd have even more fun. Think of the religious wingnut parties damning the secular wingnut parties!

  46. fuflans

    i bought a slightly used one in '06 for $15K.

    and now i am poor and can't afford to keep her in the lifestyle she is accustomed to…

    1. Gleem_McShineys

      Not a writer by trade, no. I am getting the same scale as everyone here, I guess… a certain number of Sorosmolians per post, to be paid at some future date, redeemable for some kind of future rewards, yes? Farmville vegetables or something? I think that's how it works.

      If it's any consolation, I did that while performing my legitimate gainful employment moving stacks of paper in orderly fashion from one side of my desk to another, so I did technically get compensated for doing it.

  47. jonzin

    Why in the hell would a guy run for office if he's that rich? I can think of about 1000 things I would rather do (most involve scotch and hookers) than run for any office. That should tell us something about his judgement.

  48. Thedongsofwar

    It's a good thing an unemployed man like yourself declares residency in your much more successful son's basement. This asshole governor we used to have, who will say anything to anyone for any reason, "helped" bring in universal healthcare for the whole state. That means even someone like you is covered!

  49. miss_grundy

    There's a big difference between being unemployed and poor and being unemployed and rich so that you can loll around your yacht all day and make money without lifting a finger. But since Mittens is a partner in a financial firm he actually doesn't have to work for a living to make money, all he has to do is move paper from one end of his desk to another.

    The doofuses who sat down to have breakfast with him are like so many dumb blue collar joes here in Michigan who are blindly loyal to the Repugnants even though the party doesn't do anything to make the life of these workers better. On the contrary, they make these blue collar joes out to be the enemy especially if they are unionized workers.

    Mittens blamed the turn-around at GM and Chrysler on the U.S. government lending these companies a hand. He wanted both of these companies to file for bankruptcy and fight for their survival the old-fashioned way. And if a few more thousand auto workers lost their jobs well, tough noogies. But it just wouldn't be the auto workers, it would also be the workers of the suppliers who would lose their jobs as well. Because if orders fall off for the auto suppliers they would have to lay off people as well. And it isn't as if we are overwhelmed with jobs in Michigan.

    I've never liked Mittens, now I want to stuff him inside a pet crate, tie him to the roof of a station wagon and drive really fast on the interstate and see if he can fall into the path of a semi truck.

  50. PristineODummy

    Yeah, but OUR unemployment funds don't permit us to keep an entire fucking STABLE full of dressage horses that cost 2.5 times what the average American family of four has to live on per year. And that's just the cost of their feed, housing, training, and maintenance. You know, doctor's bills and stuff, that the average American family of four can't afford. $100K pa for each of those beauties in upkeep alone, because Ann Romney's "hobby" is dressage. Shit, my hobby is clipping coupons, man.

  51. PristineODummy

    He only SEEMS moderate until you put him in the sunlight. Google "Huntsman Chemical Odessa TX" and "Huntsman emphasizes end of Medicare." I used to like the guy until he came out swinging in support of the Ryan budget. You have to be a complete nincompoop to buy the Ryan budget. Or a rightwing ideologue with not a sliver of empathy for the poor and suffering. You decide.

  52. SarcasticNymph

    I shudder to write this, but was Richard Nixon the last Republican president with a functioning brain, knowledge of how gov't and policy, and so forth? Sure, he was a twisted fuck, but he understood politics, issues, and knew the basics of governing. Repubs since him have been empty storefronts providing the dog and pony show for the masses, while the real actors are behind the scenes, hands stuck up their asses, telling them what to do.

Comments are closed.