OH FOR GOD'S SAKE  1:37 pm June 16, 2011

Multimillionaire Investor Mitt Romney To Jobless Poor: ‘I’m Also Unemployed’

by Wonkette Jr.

What is this even from?Human oddity Mitt Romney is one of the richest people in the world, with a fortune worth hundreds of millions of dollars. He is a businessman and investor and was born into a great deal of wealth that he has transformed into even more wealth, because the poor stay poor and the rich get rich. But he’s also running for president, which requires occasional encounters with carefully selected, docile members of the American working/starving class. So when Mittens sat down with a few unemployed folk today for a photo op, he didn’t offer any of his hundreds of millions of dollars to them. Instead, bizarrely, he said, “I’m also unemployed.”

The New York Times reports:

TAMPA, Fla. — Mitt Romney sat at the head of the table at a coffee shop here on Thursday, listening to a group of unemployed Floridians explain the challenges of looking for work. When they finished, he weighed in with a predicament of his own.

“I should tell my story,” Mr. Romney said. “I’m also unemployed.”

He chuckled. The eight people gathered around him, who had just finished talking about strategies of finding employment in a slow-to-recover economy, joined him in laughter.

Really now. They “joined him in laughter”? We’ve seen this kind of laughter before, and it is most certainly not of the “laughing with” variety. It’s the “can you believe the nerve of this motherfucking cracker” variety.

Why does Mittens even bother? Because he’s a space alien who desperately wants to be accepted by the Earthlings, even though he has no idea what that might entail. [NYT]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 201 comments }

GunToting[Redacted] June 16, 2011 at 1:39 pm

So are we to assume from this comment that he's hired Xtine O'Donnell's campaign adviser?

qwerty42 June 16, 2011 at 2:07 pm

needz moar witchcraft. lotz moar.

FNMA June 16, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Well, the fundies do believe Mormonism is witchcraft.

hagajim June 16, 2011 at 1:40 pm

“I should tell my story,” Mr. Romney said. “I’m also unemployed.”…but I'm unemployed because I am richer than God and I got that way by eliminating a bunch of jobs you poor fucks used to have, for efficiency. Now hire me to be Preznit and I will make sure you never work again and starve in the streets to boot. Thank you very much.

hooray4anything June 16, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Not sure the story of "I've been unemployed because I've been running for President every day for the past four years" is going to go over well with the unemployed folks.

chicken_thief June 16, 2011 at 3:31 pm

Especially if he admits that the money he wasted on his pipe dream is more than the rest of the people in the building will make in their lifetimes – combined!

GOPCrusher June 16, 2011 at 4:12 pm

Most of the unemployed people I know, don't usually have a chauffeur driving the stretch Lincoln Limo.

Beetagger June 16, 2011 at 6:58 pm

That's it! I'm going to run for office just to have someplace to go every day.

missemish June 16, 2011 at 1:41 pm

Man, I got so busy at work today that I didn't eat till 1:00! I'm just like those starving children in Africa, I totally get what they're going through!

kissawookiee June 16, 2011 at 5:15 pm

Yeah, and when I took a shower at the gym this morning I was naked for a while! Just like the people who get their clothes from the Salvation Army or whatever, also. Today we are all naked poors.

LiveToServeYa June 16, 2011 at 1:42 pm

How lucky Mitt is to represent both of the Two Americas and to express it with the famous Mormon wit. Mitt-wit.

franco_pinyon June 16, 2011 at 2:15 pm

Heh-heh, yeah. traditionally rich source of comedians, Mormonism.

FNMA June 16, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Take my wives, please!

ManchuCandidate June 16, 2011 at 1:43 pm

Pander Panda Pandering.

JoshuaNorton June 16, 2011 at 1:43 pm

Get used to it, Mittens.

Chillwaver June 16, 2011 at 2:02 pm

Since he's financing his own campaign (like he did back in '08), he is about to be broke too.

HistoriCat June 16, 2011 at 2:13 pm

We don't have that kind of luck.

PristineODummy June 18, 2011 at 1:41 pm

Whatever gave you that idea? It's well-known (or well-bruited about, which is kinda the same thing, no?) that he's got the big money boys backing his campaign. Which is why he's "leading" every "poll," despite the fact that teh poors and teh nekkies don't seem to want him very much.

FNMA June 16, 2011 at 1:44 pm

"Joined him in laughter"?
More like, "Beat him to death."

Monsieur_Grumpe June 16, 2011 at 1:51 pm

Hot coffee in his crotch would have been appropriate.

AJWjr. June 16, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Funny because Mormons can't have coffee

Swampgas_Man June 16, 2011 at 1:53 pm

This is why candidates now have G Men protection.

GOPCrusher June 16, 2011 at 4:13 pm

"Mugged him, stole his clothes, left bleeding in alley."

Walkinwiddaking June 16, 2011 at 5:57 pm

If only…

PristineODummy June 18, 2011 at 1:42 pm

If I'd been there, sure. The current crop of poorz seem a mite inhibited on that account, though. No one's even tried to pull Mitt's Hair Helmet off his head. How does that thing stay so perfectly waxed, does anyone know?

Oblios_Cap June 16, 2011 at 1:45 pm

So with Barry, you spend $10 and get to eat at his table, where you might be able to get a beer. With Mittens, you have to pay for your meal, listen to bad jokes and Mitt's campaign staff stiffs the waitstaff and probably walks out on the tab. Plus, no cola, coffee, tea or alcohol.

Christ on a Cracker.

el_donaldo June 16, 2011 at 1:58 pm

Also after the meal Mittens pretends that you've sexually assaulted him. Good times.

Jerri June 16, 2011 at 5:57 pm

Are mormons allowed to eat christ on a cracker?

Sparky_McGruff June 16, 2011 at 9:25 pm

You don't get to be worth hundreds of millions of bucks by tipping well.

samsuncle June 16, 2011 at 1:45 pm

Mitt chuckled got up and left and stiffed them for the coffee. The Republican base gets shafted again.

DahBoner June 16, 2011 at 2:25 pm

He probably left a penny on the table "for their thoughts"….

petehammer June 16, 2011 at 1:45 pm

Here's a short story that this reminds me of.

On my old job I come into work. Woman who I really, really don't like comes in (she's from Georgia, had the debutante ball, comes from money, generally just a privileged ass). She complains that her bank charged her a $550 insufficient funds fee. I say, "Holy Cow, that can't be right! That's way beyond normal"

She explains that she told her daddy that she wanted a mini cooper and he sent her a check for $30,000 and then she went and bought the mini cooper but the check hadn't cleared yet so they charged her $550.

I thought then what I think now:

"I would love to have your problems."

(On a sidenote, she had ruined her BMW from college by driving it for 25,000 until it wouldn't start one day. She had never changed the oil and destroyed the engine. So, good news for BMW owners – you can drive 25,000 miles without changing the oil!)

GOPCrusher June 16, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Do BMW owners change their own oil?

BaldarTFlagass June 16, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Mine takes 7 quarts, that's too much time to drain and refill, so, no.

Good thing, too, because most of those other BMW drivers would probably just pour the used oil down the storm drain.

You know how to tell a BMW from a porcupine? On a porcupine, the prick is on the outside.

Dashboard_Jesus June 18, 2011 at 12:32 am

wait a minute, didn't you just say that YOU drive a BMW? AND a Mini? (elitist prick!)

PsycWench June 16, 2011 at 4:45 pm

That beats my comparable story: our family knew a prominent lawyer (he was a nice enough guy, grew up poor) and his spoiled brat daughter. She came home after her college graduation, and regaled us with a story of how she had been caught speeding within our city limits, had been pulled over and the officer saw her license, KNEW WHO SHE WAS AND STILL GAVE HER THE TICKET. Apparently the routine was supposed to be "so and so's daughter? never mind". The response to the story was dead silence, but only on the outside.

lochnessmonster June 16, 2011 at 1:45 pm

God help us if he gets anywhere near becoming POTUS.

DahBoner June 16, 2011 at 2:31 pm

God help us if he any Republican gets anywhere near becoming POTUS.

/fixed

Eve8Apples June 16, 2011 at 1:46 pm

if the fudgepacker can't get himself a job, why the hell should I trust him to create one for me? When I'm looking for work, I don't consult the unemployed hobos living under the bridge on how to find a job.

AJWjr. June 16, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Like the wingnuts always say, when's the last time an unemployed bum ever created a job, hengh?

DahBoner June 16, 2011 at 5:12 pm

Not true!

Some of the more successful unemployed bums sub out the job of creating the perfect cardboard sign slogan.

Bumvertising!

deanbooth June 16, 2011 at 6:33 pm

Especially Mormon hobos.

Buzz Feedback June 16, 2011 at 1:46 pm

This fukker makes Chuck Robb look like Dale Carnegie.

Chet Kincaid June 16, 2011 at 1:47 pm

With people skills like this, he needs to travel with a Fruits Of Mormon™ security team at all times.

skoalrebel June 16, 2011 at 1:54 pm

Fruits of Mormon? [spit] Is that some fuckin' gayboy glee club?

EatsBabyDingos June 16, 2011 at 1:55 pm

With its magic Fruits of the Loons undergarments, and Cap'n Crunchy Dingleberries.

DahBoner June 16, 2011 at 2:35 pm

They always be after his Lucky Charms….

SayItWithWookies June 16, 2011 at 1:48 pm

Yeah Mitt — some people are unemployed because they can't find a job, which is terrible. And others are unemployed because they'd rather pay 15% taxes on their stock dividends than work for a goddamn living and pay the oppressive government rate of 35% on some non-demanding figurehead bullshit job at Daddy's corporation. You're probably a sucky tipper too, asshole.

Fare la Volpe June 16, 2011 at 1:49 pm

Like most Americans, I become positively miffed when my buxom French maid doesn't fluff my diamond-studded Johnson gently enough. It's almost enough for me to tell my chauffeur, "Drop her at the summer mansion!" just to be rid of her.

Shucks, good help is so hard to find these days, am I right folks?

GOPCrusher June 16, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Yes. Quite.

Captain_Quark June 16, 2011 at 1:50 pm

He forgot to add "I'm also a pandering fuckstick. What would you like me to pretend I believe?"

TanzbodenKoenig June 16, 2011 at 1:51 pm

"Yes, just like you I'm unemployed. Except unlike you, I already have millions of dollars and continue to rake in millions more from bilking ignorant rubes who contribute to my campaign thinking I give a shit about anything except my impeccable hair, and insatiable lust for power."

Steverino247 June 16, 2011 at 1:51 pm

Somebody put that asshole on the roof of his car and send him home.

PristineODummy June 18, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Somebody put tie that asshole on the roof of his car and send him home.

FIFY

SexySmurf June 16, 2011 at 1:52 pm

And that's why he's forced to blow truckers for nickles.

Or maybe he just does it for fun.

WABishop June 16, 2011 at 1:57 pm

It's not "gay" if you get paid, right?

chicken_thief June 16, 2011 at 3:45 pm

Come on. Now Larry Craig is going to throw his hat into the ring, too.

orygoon June 16, 2011 at 1:55 pm

And then he offered the guy on his right the job of Veep if he gets elected.

baconzgood June 16, 2011 at 1:55 pm

If I knew how to do that fancy smanshy linkey-link thing like all the "smart Wonkers" I'd direct you to this. While snarking……"Poor little rich boy" (in red to indicate the fancy smanshy linkey-link)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitt_Romney#Business

BaldarTFlagass June 16, 2011 at 2:22 pm

It's not that hard but it's kind of a pain in the ass. Check out
Example 1B

GOPCrusher June 16, 2011 at 4:23 pm
baconzgood June 16, 2011 at 4:38 pm

I see those words and I understand the letters……..But but together them make no sense to me…..Let's just talk about the <a herf= http://www.kenrockwell.com/tech/zone.htm&gt; Zone Six system… Did it work?

BaldarTFlagass June 16, 2011 at 4:54 pm

you left out the quotation marks around the linky.

ProgressiveInga June 16, 2011 at 1:56 pm

From Mother Jones: Romney registered to vote at a basement apartment in his son’s home in 2009 and 2010. http://motherjones.com/mojo/2011/06/did-mitt-romn

"And just like you, I'm homeless, too!" Man, life's been rough on Willard.

finallyhappy June 16, 2011 at 5:23 pm

As the commenters there point out- it is only voter fraud if you are a Democrat.

ifthethunderdontgetya June 16, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Campaign 2012: Who can prove that they'll suck off our plutocrats with the most enthusiasm?

(Note: I didn't say GOP primary 2012, that's a given any year.)
~

Oblios_Cap June 16, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Yes, but did she give good head? Why did you leave out the most important part of the story?

petehammer June 16, 2011 at 2:17 pm

She looked like and acted the equivalent of a 12-yo.

There was nothing sexy about the situation.

DahBoner June 16, 2011 at 2:28 pm

"She looked like and acted the equivalent of a 12-yo. "

But isn't this the way all rich, spoiled kids of Republicans act????

Redhead June 16, 2011 at 4:28 pm

Is THAT why so many repugnicant sex scandals seem to involve underage kids?

DahBoner June 16, 2011 at 5:08 pm

You bring up a good point–it's not Republican's fault for having sex with kids.

Because adult Republicans act like 12 year olds.

Who can tell the difference?

Fare la Volpe June 16, 2011 at 2:32 pm

If a busty blonde 20-something can bed a crusty old geezer for the money, you can bite the bullet and pound the woman-child for a few whore diamonds.

DaRooster June 16, 2011 at 3:35 pm

I'm your Huckleberry…

chicken_thief June 16, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Nothing like pushing them spoiled bitches just a little past their kink tolerance. Make a game out of it!!!

Swampgas_Man June 16, 2011 at 1:57 pm

Heh, funnily enough I just got the Last Payment on my Extended Benefits today. When does Gov. Mittsey get HIS cutoff date?

Monsieur_Grumpe June 16, 2011 at 1:58 pm

So Mittens vision for America is rich and unemployed. I like it!

Oblios_Cap June 16, 2011 at 2:38 pm

I've been trying to get that job for the last 40 years.

inapewetrust June 16, 2011 at 1:58 pm

well then why doesn't he get off his lazy ass and go get a job changing adult diapers for six bucks an hour, instead of lolling around the house watching judge joe brown and smoking drugs all day? does he think that society will just give him some cushy government job? mitt romney is what's wrong with america!

Oblios_Cap June 16, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Drug test his sorry ass.

AJWjr. June 16, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Vitter's hiring? Green shoots!

CapeClod June 16, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Oh, God. I hate that oblivious bastard.

widestanceroman June 16, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Maybe that's because he keeps applying for the same job over and over.

BlueMonkeh June 16, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Oh, that all of our unemployed citizens could be "unemployed" like this jerk.

PristineODummy June 18, 2011 at 2:12 pm

Hey, unemployed with $200 million in the bank? Sure, I could do that.

Fare la Volpe June 16, 2011 at 1:59 pm

In Mitt's defense, most of his unemployed years were spent trapped on a desert island with his wife, a movie star, and a coconut phone.

baconzgood June 16, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Mitt telling the unemployed the he's unemployed is like…..

(take it guys)

Fare la Volpe June 16, 2011 at 2:05 pm

A prick telling an asshole it's screwed.

Eve8Apples June 16, 2011 at 2:10 pm

Is like W. Bush assuring Iraqi war veterans with traumatic head injuries that he understands what they're going through because he is a war veteran too.

FNMA June 16, 2011 at 2:26 pm

I thought it was because Dubya also had a traumatic head injury. Or was that just stupidity. I could be wrong.

baconzgood June 16, 2011 at 2:15 pm

I thank you guys. I'm trying to invent a new type of thread. Instead of "you know who else…..".

The new Dupont Baconzgood Thread (patent pending) is:

" ______ saying ______ is like ______ saying ______".

HistoriCat June 16, 2011 at 2:27 pm

That sounds hard and complicated.

baconzgood June 16, 2011 at 4:24 pm

It's like those High school tests. A nail is to wood as a hammer is to a homeless man's head.

Ya see it's easy.

finallyhappy June 16, 2011 at 5:24 pm

41 years since I took the SATs!

FlownOver June 16, 2011 at 4:38 pm

You know who else tried to invent a new type of thread?

PristineODummy June 18, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Christine O'Donnell telling voters she's not a witch?

ShaveTheWhales June 26, 2011 at 2:01 am

Dick Cheney telling human beings he's a human being.

Oblios_Cap June 16, 2011 at 2:00 pm

So – did they have poopburgers for lunch? I imagine that the Fudgepacker has a ready supply of those hanging around.

MissusBarry June 16, 2011 at 3:08 pm

With a side of santorum.

BaldarTFlagass June 16, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Well, the only reason I can think of for me to hope that he gets the Repub nomination is so he can remain unemployed come January 2013.

SmutBoffin June 16, 2011 at 2:01 pm

One of the diners later asked Mitt about his chances against Barack Obama in a debate. Mitt replied, "Is this one of your Earth jokes? Of course I shall vanquish president-unit Obama during the upcoming discursive/interrogative competition!

End transmission."

Fare la Volpe June 16, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Added a spokesman: "Nanu Nanu."

jus_wonderin June 16, 2011 at 2:15 pm

I think you won me.

FNMA June 16, 2011 at 2:27 pm

Kodos approves this message.

Trollina Dumbass June 16, 2011 at 2:06 pm

That's Mitt's regimen too, for his hair.

greypanter June 16, 2011 at 2:08 pm

The sad thing is, it Probably was not a spontaneous utterance.

ChessieNefercat June 16, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Are you suggesting that perhaps he chose today's lead-footed joke from yet another carefully prepared daily list of folksy witticisms, handed to him with his breakfast?

"Here you go, Mr. Mittens, sir. Just choose a couple of these to memorize and the peasants witll think you are one of them. They will vote for you because you make them laugh and forget that they think they have problems."

zhubajie June 16, 2011 at 7:23 pm

You don't think he'd take a chance on talking like this to any *dangerous* poor people? No chance of a punch in the mouth or a more serious ass-kicking?

DashboardBuddha June 16, 2011 at 2:11 pm

If we Americans had any sense of moral outrage, the glares alone would have sliced that silver-spooned motherfucker to deli shreds.

GOPCrusher June 16, 2011 at 4:30 pm

Oh I'm sure that the "unemployed" that he met with were probably vetted with the question "Do you blame the Kenyan, Socialist, Muslin, Usurper in the White House for the fact that you do not have a job?"

PristineODummy June 18, 2011 at 2:06 pm

What I don't understand is, given the way things have been for the past decade, why isn't there a workers' revolution?

pinkocommi June 16, 2011 at 2:12 pm

And it is my sincere hope that Mittens remains unemployed through at least 2016.

PristineODummy June 18, 2011 at 2:05 pm

I'm hoping for "forever," but I could be persuaded to stand with you. So long as yon fucker is nowhere near the WH or other reins of power.

MLite June 16, 2011 at 2:12 pm

Mitt Romney: master of the common touch, yes, and proud we are of him.

horsedreamer_1 June 16, 2011 at 2:14 pm

Being without a job is not the same as being jobless.

petehammer June 16, 2011 at 2:16 pm

I'm guessing, given the BMW incident, the "cream" was for gas and maintenance.

She told us all proudly that her parents kept a framed confederate flag in the household. We had a long discussion about that.

DahBoner June 16, 2011 at 2:29 pm

"She told us all proudly that her parents kept a framed confederate flag in the household."

I sure hope she learned you something about "tradition", boy…

petehammer June 16, 2011 at 5:28 pm

That was, in sum, her argument. "Heritage, not hate." How it was her great grandpappy's and all.

I brought up that my ancestry was German but that my parents didn't fly a swastika. That did nothing to calm the argument down.

(Also, my ancestors fled Germany before WWI as draft-dodgers).

snoopyfan2010 June 16, 2011 at 7:54 pm

Wrong argument. You should have asked her why she was proud of belonging to the losing side. And then display the Real American flag at your desk the next day.

PristineODummy June 18, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Clearly, your ancestors were well-equipped in the brain department, unlike yon bratty lass. "S/he who lives and runs away may live to fight another day." Or, if your family's anything like mine, lives to keep moving out of war zones before war starts until finally forcibly uh, Shanghaied into, by supreme bad timing, WW II itself. I've made sure none of ours will end up in WW III by the sensible expedient of refusing to add scions to the family tree. People of our ilk are allergic to war, since we tend to end up as cannon fodder.

AJWjr. June 16, 2011 at 2:53 pm

BMWs and Minis both come with routine maintenance covered, so no excuse for what she did to that Beemer.

finallyhappy June 16, 2011 at 5:17 pm

In the past her parents' slaves took her car for maintenance but living on her own, she thought it would just happen- like everything else did for her

fuflans June 17, 2011 at 1:04 am

if my check engine light came on yesterday, would that be covered?

probably not and i am very poor right now.

AJWjr. June 17, 2011 at 1:11 am

Not likely. I'd bet you can afford a roll of electrical tape to cover the light with, right?

Mumbletypeg June 16, 2011 at 2:17 pm

It occurs to me while regarding the accompanying photo: Mitt is not fudging the truth — he's practicing safe exceptionalism, massaging his message in a sheath of fraternal similitude while he gently inserts the impression that nothing comes between him and his constituents, not even his grossly distended take on their differences in background.

Sorry — it was either that or a misconceived 'Separate but fecal' joke that I couldn't bring to term.

Nothingisamiss June 16, 2011 at 6:37 pm

Mumbletypeg, I'll be gosh-darned if that don't git you a comment of the day.

prommie June 16, 2011 at 2:18 pm

"The law, in its majestic equality, forbids both the rich and the poor from sleeping under bridges." Don't you stupid poors understand, thats fair? How could you be more fair than that?

SonofSpermcube June 17, 2011 at 3:27 am

Anyone can buy OCP stock! What could be more democratic than that?

franco_pinyon June 16, 2011 at 2:19 pm

It. Just. Stuns.

BaldarTFlagass June 16, 2011 at 2:19 pm

That cunt.

CapeClod June 16, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Romney added:
"Since you guys have a lot of free time, why don't you volunteer to work for my campaign?"

arihaya June 16, 2011 at 2:22 pm

and he should be unemployed for another 4 years

SorosBot June 16, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Let's make that more accurate:"One of the ways my sons are showing support for our nation is helping me get elected because they get handed a nice, cushy campaign job paid for by my donors instead of actually having to work for a living; not that they'll ever have to, they've got a rich dad."

FNMA June 16, 2011 at 2:24 pm

Don't you mean "if you don't think about it."

OneYieldRegular June 16, 2011 at 2:25 pm

And then, when asked if he wanted more coffee, he replied, "Just a splash."

SorosBot June 16, 2011 at 2:25 pm

For his next trick, Mittens will say that he knows the pain of the housing market collapse because some of his vacation homes are now worth less than he paid for them to a group of people living out of their cars since the bank foreclosed on their houses.

CountryClubJihadi June 16, 2011 at 2:26 pm

I'm surprised he didn't try to rap "Who Let The Jobs Out?"

KeepFnThatChicken June 16, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Thanks. I just slit my wrists.

KeepFnThatChicken June 16, 2011 at 2:33 pm

On the lighter side, his campaign video doesn't use 80's rap and black actors to exploit white fear.

Fred_Wertham_Jr June 16, 2011 at 2:34 pm

He shouldn't have outsourced his own job, then.

RoboGuppy June 16, 2011 at 2:45 pm

Hey Mutt… I got yer unemployment check right here.

Chet Kincaid June 16, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Romney sat down later with a group of Tampa escorts to compare notes on the working life. "Girls, I've walked a mile in your pumps. Looking happy and pretty while Limbaugh's fat belly slaps against your ass cheeks is no day at the summer home!"

easybaked June 16, 2011 at 3:02 pm

All of this is fine and good. What I wanna know is:

Where does he stand on the California desert tortoises? Hengh?

zhubajie June 16, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Depends on how big they are.

hooray4anything June 16, 2011 at 3:04 pm

Part of me says Crazy-Eyes because it's obvious that this country needs to be smashed into tinier and tinier pieces before people FINALLY wise up and realize the huge amounts of lunacy we've swallowed over the past years or so and nobody could do it better than Bachmann. Of course, while all this is happening, I'll be spending my days in Canada or Denmark so it won't affect me but I'm sure the rest of you won't mind.

finallyhappy June 16, 2011 at 5:19 pm

yep, we'd be moving too- I've been watching House Hunters International- wonder if a house is still cheaper in Port Douglas than here in the MD suburbs?

hooray4anything June 16, 2011 at 3:06 pm

If Mitt really wants to show that he's unemployed, he needs to call up unemployment and beg for a new extension and then call up temp agencies only to find out that he's overqualified for an admin position and they can't get him anything.

proudgrampa June 16, 2011 at 3:07 pm

Fuck you, Mitt. Asshole.

AJWjr. June 16, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Say, you know who else is unemployed? (Aside from you and me, don't be boring!)

chicken_thief June 16, 2011 at 4:02 pm

I was going to say "Newt", but I'm sure looking for a new wife is a full time job for that fat fuck.

GOPCrusher June 16, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Anthony Weiner?

AJWjr. June 16, 2011 at 4:59 pm

That's who I was fishing for, sadly.

Nothingisamiss June 16, 2011 at 6:39 pm

:(

WhatTheHolyHeck June 16, 2011 at 3:14 pm

Rich people round up to the nearest ten grand. Duh.

ChessieNefercat June 16, 2011 at 3:24 pm

"We’ve seen this kind of laughter before, and it is most certainly not of the “laughing with” variety. It’s the “can you believe the nerve of this motherfucking cracker” variety."

Strong possibility it was nervous laughter, as in, "We are powerless and unemployed, so let's laugh with the crazy millionaire asshole, not at him. God knows what he'll do otherwise."

chicken_thief June 16, 2011 at 3:28 pm

In fairness to Romney, what he said was much kinder than his initial thought, which was: WTF, goobers. Think I give a shit?! Your freakin tales of woe are killing my buzz. Crew, get me the fuck outta here!

James Michael Curley June 16, 2011 at 3:29 pm

:We’ve seen this kind of laughter before, and it is most certainly not of the “laughing with” variety. It’s the “can you believe the nerve of this motherfucking cracker” variety."

I met a few people in Stockholm who responded to adversity in the same way.

anniegetyerfun June 16, 2011 at 3:42 pm

I too, lack health care coverage! Haha, but of course, I could afford to buy a hospital and the lives of all the personnel in it.

ChessieNefercat June 16, 2011 at 3:42 pm

It is probably my imagination, but Mittens seems to me to be exhibiting just the tiniest hint of shrill desperation underneath his carefully cultivated shirt-collar-ad-businessman image and his you-can-tell-I-practiced-for-the-debate attitude.

How long before he goes full Bachmann?

ChurchofRealism June 16, 2011 at 3:58 pm

Why is Mitt Romney stealing shit from the Fudge Truck?

BlueStateLibel June 16, 2011 at 4:01 pm

…and then he visited a children's cancer ward and laughed at them all, just for the LOLs.

Seriously, it's like they're not even trying anymore.

carolinaswamp June 16, 2011 at 4:28 pm

Be fair. Mittens had a headache once, and it took ages for the maid to fetch the liquid morphine. He knows how those children in the cancer ward feel!

neiltheblaze June 16, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Mitt should have one of the "I'm spending my kid's inheritance" bumper stickers on his car. Or he could put it on the back of the dog carrier on the roof.

GOPCrusher June 16, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Well he did say that he hoped Obama failed as a President, and the Republiklans have done everything they can to make his dream come true. Unfortunately, they have to destroy America to do it.

Redhead June 16, 2011 at 4:31 pm

"or the cancer-wife ridding guy"

You're going to have to be a LOT more specific…

Callyson June 16, 2011 at 4:32 pm

We’ve seen this kind of laughter before, and it is most certainly not of the “laughing with” variety. It’s the “can you believe the nerve of this motherfucking cracker” variety.
Elvis Costello is a clairvoyant… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ab_IO-SlK5w

Redhead June 16, 2011 at 4:32 pm

And then he looked at the cancer patient on the other side of him and said, "why, I'm losing weight right now too! How many pounds have you lost this month?"

GOPCrusher June 16, 2011 at 4:34 pm

Nader/LaRouche 2012?

DrBobNM June 16, 2011 at 4:45 pm

Nader does walk the talk, I'll give him that.

finallyhappy June 16, 2011 at 5:27 pm

Nader is a self-serving asshole- and you know what- the next time, I see him eating at Skewers in DC- I think I will finally tell him that.

DrBobNM June 16, 2011 at 5:31 pm

doesn't he drive a Maverick, or something? (not a Corvair, that's for sure, LOL) He could have been rich, but kept it real. I hate nearly all his views, but he didn't sell out to the potential fame.

Nothingisamiss June 16, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Sorry, but unless his talk is all about his narcissistic overreach and hair trigger temper, he doesn't really walk the walk.

(And, you know what? He really couldn't sell out even if he wanted to. He's an asshole, and not the kind the Kochs like, so there's no money for him.)

LetUsBray June 16, 2011 at 4:38 pm

Ooo, look everybody, one of those Concern Trolls For Hire!

proudgrampa June 16, 2011 at 4:39 pm

It does NOT mean "unoccupied" or "brain unengaged."

widget2011 June 16, 2011 at 5:21 pm

Smug Douchenozzel says what?

finallyhappy June 16, 2011 at 5:25 pm

so his sons are all morons then?

WilliamHTaft June 16, 2011 at 6:11 pm

Well that does it. I'm finally convinced that the GOP isn't a snarling pack of greedy authoritarians, but rather a large company of skilled performance artists. That said, I don't get it.

Nothingisamiss June 16, 2011 at 6:44 pm

If I can start believing this, maybe my liver won't explode with the fire inside me that rages any time I hear one of these cretinous gelatos speak.

zhubajie June 16, 2011 at 7:32 pm

Unskilled, surely?

deanbooth June 16, 2011 at 6:31 pm

I saw a PBS film on the Warsaw Ghetto the other day. The Nazis forced Jews to applaud and laugh in a movie theater so they could film them. If you didn't laugh, you'd be beaten. I'm not saying Romney's quip is similar — it just reminded me of this.

I also heard that while doing his Mormon missionary work, Romney proselytized patrons coming out of a theater playing Shindler's List.

zhubajie June 16, 2011 at 7:33 pm

So where'd he go?

deanbooth June 16, 2011 at 8:13 pm

 <DIV>In 1968 he went to France for two and a half years.</DIV> <DIV style=”FONT: 10pt arial”>

Nothingisamiss June 16, 2011 at 6:45 pm

Beautiful.

neiltheblaze June 16, 2011 at 7:09 pm

So Mitt has to get three job leads a week and keep a little book too?

zhubajie June 16, 2011 at 7:18 pm

Palin. I love the phrase "Abomination of Palination." Also, she'd make the US hit bottom, after which things would get better.

zhubajie June 16, 2011 at 7:19 pm

Perhaps Mr. O. can have two non-consecutive terms, like Grover Cleveland.

zhubajie June 16, 2011 at 7:30 pm

Start over again with something like the Israeli Parliament. They're fucked up, too, but with at least a dozen political parties, we'd have even more fun. Think of the religious wingnut parties damning the secular wingnut parties!

ttommyunger June 16, 2011 at 7:45 pm

Typical upper-class twit. Now watch this drive…

fuflans June 17, 2011 at 1:08 am

i bought a slightly used one in '06 for $15K.

and now i am poor and can't afford to keep her in the lifestyle she is accustomed to…

Negropolis June 17, 2011 at 2:16 am

Don't blame me; I voted for Kodos.

Negropolis June 17, 2011 at 2:32 am

Please tell me you're a writer by trade. Assure me you are getting payed for this.

Gleem_McShineys June 17, 2011 at 12:33 pm

Not a writer by trade, no. I am getting the same scale as everyone here, I guess… a certain number of Sorosmolians per post, to be paid at some future date, redeemable for some kind of future rewards, yes? Farmville vegetables or something? I think that's how it works.

If it's any consolation, I did that while performing my legitimate gainful employment moving stacks of paper in orderly fashion from one side of my desk to another, so I did technically get compensated for doing it.

DrunkIrishman June 17, 2011 at 3:08 am

Let's keep it that way…

SonofSpermcube June 17, 2011 at 3:27 am

Mitt Romney is unemployed like Teresa Heinz Kerry is African American.

NadePaulKuciGravMcKi June 17, 2011 at 8:15 am

silver spoon …
neocon willard

jonzin June 17, 2011 at 10:16 am

Why in the hell would a guy run for office if he's that rich? I can think of about 1000 things I would rather do (most involve scotch and hookers) than run for any office. That should tell us something about his judgement.

Thedongsofwar June 17, 2011 at 6:55 pm

It's a good thing an unemployed man like yourself declares residency in your much more successful son's basement. This asshole governor we used to have, who will say anything to anyone for any reason, "helped" bring in universal healthcare for the whole state. That means even someone like you is covered!

miss_grundy June 17, 2011 at 9:07 pm

There's a big difference between being unemployed and poor and being unemployed and rich so that you can loll around your yacht all day and make money without lifting a finger. But since Mittens is a partner in a financial firm he actually doesn't have to work for a living to make money, all he has to do is move paper from one end of his desk to another.

The doofuses who sat down to have breakfast with him are like so many dumb blue collar joes here in Michigan who are blindly loyal to the Repugnants even though the party doesn't do anything to make the life of these workers better. On the contrary, they make these blue collar joes out to be the enemy especially if they are unionized workers.

Mittens blamed the turn-around at GM and Chrysler on the U.S. government lending these companies a hand. He wanted both of these companies to file for bankruptcy and fight for their survival the old-fashioned way. And if a few more thousand auto workers lost their jobs well, tough noogies. But it just wouldn't be the auto workers, it would also be the workers of the suppliers who would lose their jobs as well. Because if orders fall off for the auto suppliers they would have to lay off people as well. And it isn't as if we are overwhelmed with jobs in Michigan.

I've never liked Mittens, now I want to stuff him inside a pet crate, tie him to the roof of a station wagon and drive really fast on the interstate and see if he can fall into the path of a semi truck.

Dashboard_Jesus June 18, 2011 at 12:34 am

WIN!

PristineODummy June 18, 2011 at 2:04 pm

Yeah, but OUR unemployment funds don't permit us to keep an entire fucking STABLE full of dressage horses that cost 2.5 times what the average American family of four has to live on per year. And that's just the cost of their feed, housing, training, and maintenance. You know, doctor's bills and stuff, that the average American family of four can't afford. $100K pa for each of those beauties in upkeep alone, because Ann Romney's "hobby" is dressage. Shit, my hobby is clipping coupons, man.

PristineODummy June 18, 2011 at 2:16 pm

He only SEEMS moderate until you put him in the sunlight. Google "Huntsman Chemical Odessa TX" and "Huntsman emphasizes end of Medicare." I used to like the guy until he came out swinging in support of the Ryan budget. You have to be a complete nincompoop to buy the Ryan budget. Or a rightwing ideologue with not a sliver of empathy for the poor and suffering. You decide.

SarcasticNymph June 19, 2011 at 8:59 am

I shudder to write this, but was Richard Nixon the last Republican president with a functioning brain, knowledge of how gov't and policy, and so forth? Sure, he was a twisted fuck, but he understood politics, issues, and knew the basics of governing. Repubs since him have been empty storefronts providing the dog and pony show for the masses, while the real actors are behind the scenes, hands stuck up their asses, telling them what to do.

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