Unsatisfied with a diet of subsidized-corn subsidized-oil subsidized industrial cattle farm e.coli anusburgers? Japan’s wacky scientists have a treat for you!
It’s being called the “poop burger”. Japanese scientists have found a way to create artificial meat from sewage containing human feces.
Mitsuyuki Ikeda, a researcher from the Okayama Laboratory, has developed steaks based on proteins from human excrement. Tokyo Sewage approached the scientist because of an overabundance of sewage mud. They asked him to explore the possible uses of the sewage and Ikeda found that the mud contained a great deal of protein because of all the bacteria.
Is the entire north of Japan still radioactive, from those melting nuke reactors that continue to melt down, forever? Maybe the scientists could work on that waste. [Digital Trends]
{ 114 comments }
So? Arby's has been doing this for years.
Taco Bell is on line 2!
Do they have something for the kiddies? Maybe a Crappy Meal?
Just don't order the McNuggets.
Something for the wee ones?
I'm telling you, "Human Centipede" was prophetic.
We are what we eat.
In this case, 'we' are what 'they' ate.
You know what they call the Quarter Pound Poopburger with cheese in France?
~
Merdelicious?
Royale Quiet-Flush II with cheese.
Vitter Royale?
The America?
Dave?
Tourists?
Le Snack du Sewer?
Pepe Le Poo?
Hitler!
Soylent Brunes?
Hey, everybody!
Pull up a stool, it's time for burgers!
~
This isn't going to be topped. No way.
That's a really crappy pun.
What's worse than Soylent Green? Soylent Brown!
I guess this is a case of the self-fulfilling prophecy, "I know you don't like to eat shit sandwiches because you don't like the taste of bread."
Shades of the reburger from Yes Men. Please let this be satire — or do we really want to find out that some people are so poor they can't afford a shitburger?
Shit burger more expensive than regular burger, as must recoup years of R&D cost for the "raw sewage to your plate" transition.
Let me guess…. It tastes like shit.
But it's really great shit, Mrs. Prezky!
As long as it's served by one of those sexbots they have over there, I'm ok with it.
Poop burger and sex with a used robot woman.
Winning the future.
I'm at the point where if I see something weird and creepy, it's either going to be from Japan, or the GOP.
Time for another round of "Germany or Florida?"
Do they learn how to cook it in alimentary school?
Soylent brown?
Yes, may I have a colon burger, hold the corn.
Also, the late B. Kliban saw this coming.
Shoulda stuck with the cats, there's a real future in cats.
Soylent Brown
It's a big shit sandwich and we're all going to have to take a bite.
http://www.hark.com/clips/lhvmxksxlw-its-a-huge-s…
What makes them think I want to eat my sister-in-law's cooking?
I can buy these at Ikeda?
Would fist again and again.
Does eating it give you that Assburger's Syndrome thing?
If I could, I would upfist a dozen for that. Thanks, you made this story tolerable (otherwise, I would have thrown up a little in my mouth).
Like a diamond shining through the muck – well done!
Meat is merder.
How many calories?
I want to know how many Weight Watchers points are we talking here???
Calories don't count the second time through.
I hate to ask, but does this burger come with special sauce?
You know what else comes with "special sauce?"
Santorum?
Oh, that is the special sauce.
Gyros!
SOYLENT BROWN IS PEOPLE!
Pity the poor marketeers who have to advertise this, uh, shit. Like, say, "Poop. It's what's for dinner." Or, "Poop, the other brown meat."
"Where's the mother fucking beef?!!!!!!"
"Where's the
mother fuckingSantorum beef?!!!!!!"Kids( in unison): MOM! CAN WE HAVE SOME DOUBLE-PROCESSED BUNBURGERS, PLEASE!!
Mom (wry exasperation): Oh, alright.
*Catchy theme song*
Announcer: "From our buns, to yours! IT'S BUNBURGERS! They've been digested once already, so you KNOW IT IS SMOOOOOOTH!"
Did Steuf try it while he was in Japan?
"Better than Papa John's!" — Jack Steuf, staffer, the ONION
Taking shit on a shingle to its logical conclusion.
Speaking of which…I just made a whopper in my bathroom.
Is this an improvement on 'meat glue'?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ss_b-dRIOOg
M&M Mars announced the new "Reece's Feces" and "Reece's Feces Pieces," while Pampers, wanting to get in on the recycling boom, announced its new "Pampers Fingerpainters"
Wasn't there a skit on Saturday Night Live a few years ago about eating your baby's diapers? (uuuuugggghhhhhh)
It's not just a sauce anymore!
I gotta say, my dog eats poop all the time, but I'd never really consider that an endorsement. He also eats groundhog entrails.
Ground hog entrails are what they put in all the best pork link sausages.
Oh good lord. Even the con-artists at InventHelp.com would've passed on this. No way I'm going to become a fecatarian.
Eat shit and die.
And one of the scientists is named Woo Flung Poo.
…Is the entire north of Japan still radioactive, from those melting nuke reactors that continue to melt down, forever? Maybe the scientists could work on that waste.
Please don't give this guy ideas like that. There is no telling what will be flavoring our fecesburgers. Not that we won't eat them anyway. cripes.
I tried this myself when I was two.
I don't remember how it tasted.
My oldest brother used it as a hair product. Our mother decided that was a Kodak moment, and constantly embarrassed him in front of everybody.
Nothing I hate more than biting into a nice burger and finding bits of toilet paper in it.
Or a condom.
Waiter, there's a tampon in my burger.
I have the perfect marketing gimmick:
http://www.stevenhumour.com/wp-content/uploads/20…
Reduce. Reuse. Redigest.
Wow, that didn't take any time at all. Now that Ken is (mostly) gone, it's out with the anus burger, in with the poop burger.
Skip the artificial coloring – go for the Soylent Brown.
Still sounds more appetizing than any of the "hamburgers" at Burger King.
We are so freakin' doomed…
I call human feces!
Watch the drug content of that burger… especially around Baltimore and DC.
Too bad they're only exerimenting with human poo. Otherwise, my Great Dane could be a real cash cow.
Throughout the article and comments, it has been a great test of will to keep my own (hopefully) feces-free lunch down, also, too.
Similarly, my stomach has requested to reenact any scene from the Alien sci-fi franchise. Just which scene is unclear. Things could go either way.
"Is the entire north of Japan still radioactive, from those melting nuke reactors that continue to melt down, forever? Maybe the scientists could work on that waste."
Why when they can just tell you to go eat shit… and like it.
Oh my God, I can't believe I watched that. "Squicky."
My first thought was, who the hell do they think is going to eat such repackaged shit? But I'm sure they're counting on the same people who vote for Republicans to fuck them over.
Well said. We are already used to eating shit on a daily basis.
This makes me want to vomit. Except that's probably what they use to make the french fries.
Meh, just think of it as delivering all the E. coli, but eliminating the middle-man. And it probably tastes better than McDonalds or Burger King, at very least.
I'm assuming the Paul Ryan is hailing this development as an innovation of critical value to his ongoing plan to make the old and the poor eat shit and die.
I wonder if it's like snacks made with Olestra. Uncontrolled anal leakage – it's the circle of life.
Den dey eat da poo poo!
No burger for me…I'll just have the Freedom Fries.
Have you ever tasted dog food?
Well, no.
But true story: My son lives near Flagstaff, Arizona. Flagstaff is the home of a Purina Dog Chow factory: imagine the aroma of Dog Chow as it is being cooked, wafting everywhere. You do NOT want to live in that neighborhood…
Lucky for the Nipponese, half of America will eat anything so long as it's covered in batter and deep fried. The other half will eat it if you throw in the words "Asian Fusion."
I think I'd prefer a sewer burger over a Weiner tweet at this point.
My dog once ate Rat jerky( a long dead totally dried flattened rat) which sounds better than the poop burger- if you ask me
Another true story: my dog once ate a tampon. Yes, it was a used tampon. It got stuck in her stomach and I had to pay over $3000 for her surgery to remove it.
I wish she had just eaten some poop.
No wonder Japan lost the war.
Too late. Friday's already has these. They're made from diarrhea. They're called sliders.
I'm opening a franchise of this company, here stateside. Here's the tentative menu.
1. The Duke of Hazard
2. Shiese Fries
3. The Semi Colon (like a Wendy's Jr. burger)
4. Shitaco Grande
5. Chicken Sphincters
Sounds like the "plot" to an SF porn movie.
Poop goes in, poop goes out, poop goes in, poop goes out; never a miscommunication…but the halitosis would knock a Buzzard off a gut wagon.
Two Girls, One Patty.
My favourite churrascaria.
New hipster term "I am a doodie foodie"
Don't associate Ben Affleck with this. The burger's already going to be the butt of enough jokes.
Whoop dee doo! They succeeded in reverse-engineering a McDonalds Quarter Pounder. Damn copycat Japanese… If they were really so smart, perhaps they could make some fecal nigiri sushi. Uni shouldn't be too difficult, and as a side bonus, the word for shit in Japanese in "Unchi" so the name wouldn't even have to change all that much.
After that whole bombing thing in Nagasaki and Hiroshima when the Japanese basically ignored orphaned children who were foraging for mice in between spitting out baby teeth and weaving blankets out of their own hair, I have to say this doesn't surprise me.
Not only gives new meaning to the expression "eat shit and die," it also promises to help out on a wide range of issues related to teh oldz and teh poorz living too long.
Comments on this entry are closed.