VISIONS OF AMERICA  6:10 pm June 15, 2011

Porn Stars, Weiners, Obama Says War Powers Act Doesn’t Apply To Him

by Wonkette Jr.

Welp, that about wraps it up ....Anything good on the news innerwebs tonight? No? Not at all?

The “news topic header” is Porn Star, c’mon, that’s something. Oh, that’s just what most American Top News Stories are about? Hmm.

What about the Libya War, surely some voice of reason will somehow manage to say that it’s insane to be having how many wars right now, everywhere, and losing ALL OF THEM, KATIE, all of them? Well if you say that, Barack Obama will just say that whatever War Law doesn’t apply in this situation. And he’s right! Nothing rational or logical or legal applies at all in a Nation of Fat Slobs Reading About Porn Stars and Weiners Because There’s No Point In Checking The Internet For Job Listings Ever Again. [Google News, yeesh]

Oh and here is John Edwards’ mugshot:

Wow this country is a SLEAZEPIT, bomb it from space.

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 73 comments }

widget2011 June 15, 2011 at 6:16 pm

Bread & Circuses

Negropolis June 16, 2011 at 1:32 am

Turn the bread into popcorn, and you have a deal.

imissopus June 15, 2011 at 6:19 pm

I think you mean 60 years his junior; 60 years his senior would make her around 140.

pinkocommi June 15, 2011 at 6:24 pm

I really hate that Obama has done something that makes the Teatards' criticism that Obama is violating the Constitution actually true. Damn him for that, if for nothing else.

Lucidamente1 June 15, 2011 at 6:24 pm

The Republicans are invoking the War Powers Act? Are they high?? Am I???

hagajim June 15, 2011 at 6:35 pm

Funniest thing – EVER!

CrankyLttlCamperette June 15, 2011 at 6:27 pm

What are three things that suck?

Radiotherapy June 15, 2011 at 7:21 pm

Whores, politicians, and vacuum cleaners?

Dudleydidwrong June 15, 2011 at 9:59 pm

Monica Lewinsky, Rick Scott, and Larry Craig?

snoopyfan2010 June 15, 2011 at 6:28 pm

If you think it would have been better with the other one, good luck with that theory.

HobbesEvilTwin June 15, 2011 at 6:37 pm

I guess it depends on which handbasket you prefer: express or local.

snoopyfan2010 June 15, 2011 at 6:54 pm

Huh?! What does that mean? I'm right brained so you need to speak at a third grade level.

DashboardBuddha June 15, 2011 at 7:48 pm

That's pretty much cold comfort. But yeah, things would have been a lot worse had Walnuts and the Quitta from Wasila had won.

But…

This country losing its mind of a black man with a funny name being president has set us up for an even more appalling GOP line up in 2012. And unless Barry starts shitting jobs or the Democrats get their thumb out of its ass (both unlikely, I know), we could see a giant wave of crazy ass t-party types sweeping into office a whole new crop of hateful, know nothing, bible thumping morans. And make no mistake. This will not occur because the GOP is the party of ideas. No, it will because they have the loudest media machine and of course, fear sells.

GeorgiaBurning June 15, 2011 at 8:28 pm

Look at the bright side, plenty of work in Canada, building that wall at latitude 49.

snoopyfan2010 June 16, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Huh…I think some of the "surprise" at Barry's actions is more of the "that's what I thought he would do but I had to vote for him so I wouldn't be the bad guy" variety than it is "oh no, I really didn't think he would do that" kind. But maybe you're right, maybe people don't really pay attention during the campaign. Speaking for myself, I knew what kind of candidate I was voting for and also what kind of candidate I was voting against.

snoopyfan2010 June 15, 2011 at 6:29 pm

Why all the down fisting???

CrankyLttlCamperette June 15, 2011 at 6:30 pm

Also, is mugshot-grinning something they teach you in that Congressional Freshman Orientation. Because that one above looks a whole lot like Delay's: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/tom-

GuyClinch June 15, 2011 at 6:36 pm

You type (and think) faster than I do. See below.

drrty_martini June 15, 2011 at 6:36 pm

I thought the same thing! And what is UP with the shitty haircut?

neiltheblaze June 15, 2011 at 6:44 pm

Couldn't afford his old barber / stylist / whatever, I guess. He / she was pricey.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 15, 2011 at 6:38 pm

But does the Porn Powers act apply to Obama?

hagajim June 15, 2011 at 6:38 pm

Say….is that smiley feller at the top the porn star? Does he go by the handle of Greeby Mcskeeze? War Powers Act….yep, that gets enforced about as well as the Sherman Anti-Trust Act….i.e. not at all. It would be nice if we could stop bombing the holy beejesus out of everyone – even if its just for a day or two though.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 15, 2011 at 6:39 pm

Strangely enough, If I had a porn star interested in my junk, I think I would be taking ads out in the NYT.

Negropolis June 16, 2011 at 1:37 am

Yeah, not shit.

Can I just say that Meghan girl – the one from Texas – was hot in the "trashy, chain-smoking, Texas Waffle House waitress" sort of way?

horsedreamer_1 June 16, 2011 at 9:54 am

Baseball player's sister, too.

Seriously.

pinkocommi June 15, 2011 at 6:40 pm

I am surprised John Edwards' facial muscles still allow him to smile through all that Botox. He must have missed a spot.

Goonemeritus June 15, 2011 at 6:41 pm

Ok so the Republican position on Libya is that it may not be in our national interest but more importantly we should be leading. After all letting old Europe take the lead is so.. I don’t know French? The Democratic position is a little more fractured but still un-happy (well me too) but they seem to want to define this as a humanitarian mission. As far as the War Powers act goes that thing has been violated more than your average alter boy so why the outrage now. I say let Europe handle it and let’s focus on closing up shop elsewhere.

V572 [SSAN] June 16, 2011 at 1:37 am

Please stop raining reason on this parade of Schadenfreude.

Negropolis June 16, 2011 at 1:44 am

It's why I'm getting tired ot eh so-called liberal pundits all up on Obama for Libya. The Republicans seem to be pissed for two vastly different reasons. First, that we're doing it at all, and then that we haven't dropped a nuke on Tripoli. It's absolutely crazy.

I'm not going to apologize for my support of the no-fly zone. I said from the very beginning of this that if we're going to be involved in any kind of military operation of choice, this should be how we should have been involved all along. Everybody's pissed about Libya, but I say leave Iraqafistan, and do the limited shit we should be doing in concert with our allies like Libya, a no-fly zone, BTW, Obama had to be dragged into and who was berated by the right for not starting sooner…until he started it, of course, and now it's all bad. Fuck the GOP.

easybaked June 16, 2011 at 4:49 am

Spot on. mate. I think that the Repubs were all like, No-Fly Zone – yeah sure. But the actual terms were "too long, didn't read." Hopey said no boots on the ground, period. Anything short of that is fair game.

It's like none of them remember the mess that was former Yugoslavia and 'Wild' Bill Clinton's response. We left the UN with that giant mess and I'm thinking that we'll do the same in Labyia after Khadaffy is killed/gone.

Goonemeritus June 16, 2011 at 6:11 am

I like that this is a UN soiree, I like that we are making NATO hold up its end and like that Republicans are going crazy (that’s always good).

emmelemm June 15, 2011 at 6:42 pm

And he "declared his campaign implosion 'liberating'".

Freedom's just another name for nothing left to lose. Then he took a swig of Jack Daniels and had sex with the bass player. (Or something like that.)

seppdecker June 15, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Shoddy, shoddy reporting – where did he ask her to lie? And what was she wearing?

ifthethunderdontgetya June 15, 2011 at 6:44 pm

This unveiled (as of yet) Wonkette, Jr. sounds a lot like Ken. Or meself.

1984: Not a cautionary novel, but an instruction manual.

USA! USA! USA!
~

Rotundo_ June 15, 2011 at 6:45 pm

Since Korea the executive branch has been wiping its ass with the "War Powers Act" and W went for a two fer on non-congressionally sanctioned wars. If this is the best that Boner and the derpsters in the republican party can come up with it is pretty sad. Hell if Walnuts had won and had the same thing happen, Boner would have been weeping little nicotine laced tears describing "freedom fighters" struggling against the brutal Khadafi (sp?) regime and all the republicans would call out anyone not cheerleading to the point of passing out, traitors and terrorists.

imissopus June 15, 2011 at 6:52 pm

The War Powers Act with the 60-day requirement wasn't passed until the early '70s (over Nixon's veto) so it would have been hard for the executive branch to violate it for Korea or Vietnam or any other countries filled with brown- or yellow-colored people we might have bombed in between.

V572 [SSAN] June 16, 2011 at 1:42 am

Except Kennedy and Johnson and Truman and Eisenhower and Nixon all violated the spirit and maybe the letter of the Constitution which affixes the power to declare war on the congress, not the president. But saying this is like saying Weiner shouldn't quit because Larry Craig didn't: a runny ragú.

ganmerlad June 15, 2011 at 6:46 pm

Well, "Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark" is finally ready and after costing 80 billion dollars and 9 years putting it together, or something like that — all the reviewers say it is mediocre and only fit for children. There is the rumor that Newt's team quit because of his wife. Also the House Dems are mad at having their mail censored by the Repub. committee in charge of the franking machine, even though when the Dems were in charge of the franking machine, they censored the Repubs. There was also this moon thing that happened that I didn't see.

Oh yeah, and because of Arizona, the US is going to burn down.

ifthethunderdontgetya June 15, 2011 at 6:57 pm

Oh yeah, and because of Arizona, the US is going to burn down.

Seems fair, except maybe to the wingnuts in Texas, South Carolina, Tennessee, etc.
~

AJWjr. June 15, 2011 at 8:38 pm

I always figured that Florida would be the fuse. Or maybe the Aleutians.

V572 [SSAN] June 16, 2011 at 1:46 am

It's humorous how NY Times writers attempt to write about the comic-book drivel Broadway produces for tourist consumption as if it were Arthur Miller or Shakespeare.

easybaked June 16, 2011 at 4:59 am

What light through yonder window breaks?
It is the Web Crawler, who doth hasten
to rescue a maiden both flaxen and fair.
Sleep shall neither night nor day
Hang upon his pent-house lid.
Unless he becometh stuck in his web, that is.

V572 [SSAN] June 16, 2011 at 6:02 am

Most estimable, sir or madam!

easybaked June 16, 2011 at 6:14 am

Thank you most kindly – my current gender is male. And if you enjoy the great barb (the older one) being mangulated, you should check out the Twitter hash tag #shakespalin. *

* But first be sure to clear your breathing passages of any food or beverages.

ganmerlad June 16, 2011 at 5:22 am

Oh but the cost of it, the danger to the cast, the director going round the twist. It could have been an epic meta-farce. But they took away the danger and the director and so it is now just a play from a comic book.

You know, someone should write a play about making the play. The drama, the suspense, the madness, the heartbreak. "Spider-man: Bring up the lights"

Callyson June 15, 2011 at 6:51 pm

The Breck Boy looks like he was getting a hummer when that picture was taken. Maybe *that's* what Weiner wanted that porn star to lie about…

weejee June 15, 2011 at 6:52 pm

The catalog that hangs in the CountryClub outhouse?

neiltheblaze June 15, 2011 at 6:58 pm

Looks like a publicity shot to me.

ThundercatHo June 15, 2011 at 7:03 pm

"Action Slacks", I see what you did there.

anniegetyerfun June 15, 2011 at 7:04 pm

Having a cold is a mistake but being heavily medicated is an absolute must around here.

Barb June 15, 2011 at 7:07 pm

I like your attitude! Last game of the Stanley Cup finals is tonight and we all need heavy medication.

Radiotherapy June 15, 2011 at 7:19 pm

The Bruins must defend the Northern Border. Because we know that weak and timid, "in over his head," community organizer won't.

imissopus June 15, 2011 at 7:14 pm

According to that NY Times article, Obama is saying the War Powers Act doesn't apply because we're only providing surveillance and refueling other countries' fighter jets, so we're not technically engaged in hostile acts against an enemy military. If you're an Obama supporter it's correct, if you are anti-war no matter what it's splitting hairs, if you're Riley Obama is a murderous baby killer, if you're a Republican it's a treasonous slap in the Founders' faces and yet more evidence that Obama denies American exceptionalism because we're only providing support when we should be carpet-bombing Tripoli and ignoring world opinion. In other words the entirely predictable arguments emanating from all corners shall continue for the foreseeable future.

Meanwhile Opus will continue to wish he could afford both a quarter of weed AND a ticket to Mr. Popper's Penguins.

Radiotherapy June 15, 2011 at 7:28 pm

I hereby nominate imissopus for Wonkette's "Comment of the Evening."
Even though downfisty has put him/her into negative territory.

emmelemm June 15, 2011 at 8:53 pm

I'm not sure even a penguin would want to see Mr. Popper's Penguins.

weejee June 15, 2011 at 7:15 pm
Radiotherapy June 15, 2011 at 7:21 pm

Like a Unicorn buttsecks, that's how!

Callyson June 15, 2011 at 7:25 pm

I wonder which of these stories is of greater interest to the downfister: the war powers issue, perhaps? Because he/she/it could not possibly be so vulgar as to follow the goings on in the porn world…
(Kill me, I needed a good laugh. Also, upfists for everyone to make up for it.)

Radiotherapy June 15, 2011 at 7:28 pm

I wonder what Mr. Edwards new prison pals will think of that cute little dimple in his tie.

Fuck Toad June 15, 2011 at 7:46 pm

Does the Reuters article seriously refer to her as "A porn star" in the lede? Doesn't that seem kind of dehumanizing? Isn't she a former porn star anyway?

Pragmatist2 June 15, 2011 at 8:51 pm

A woman who said "Oh, baby, you're soooo big!" in a hundred porn flicks, draws the line at lying about the content of a stupid tweet?

Dudleydidwrong June 15, 2011 at 10:10 pm

Yeah, but when she said that to me I was sure she meant it. You mean she said that to other men about their…their…their private parts? Is nothing sacred? I expect politicians to lie, but not whores and porn stars. They have a sense of honor.

Blendergoathead June 15, 2011 at 11:56 pm

I wish I could tie a tie like that. *sigh*

BarackMyWorld June 16, 2011 at 12:58 am

Wait a second…WHAT'S THAT ABOUT ANTHONY WEINER AND GINGER LEE????

I'm suddenly more interested, as I am a fan of both their work.

El Pinche June 16, 2011 at 12:59 am

Is it Friday yet? I've harvested my sensi skunk and I'm ready to put a torch to that shit. I'm hoping all this will be funny and/or fappable.
where's my gravatar? who knows

mrblifil June 16, 2011 at 1:02 am

I'd heard about the bitter opportunistic bitch on the radio. Then I saw her standing next to a porn star.

Negropolis June 16, 2011 at 1:34 am

A helluva lot better than the "you kids get off my lawn" and "what does this button do?" thing the other guy and gal had planned for us, respectively; that's for true.

Warpde June 16, 2011 at 1:45 am

I am wey to intoxikated to supply. wheer fuk … k start again… what the fek was I tAlkin aboot
,,!! Oh yeeh >>( Edwawarddo

Who gives a FUCK.

V572 [SSAN] June 16, 2011 at 1:47 am

And Ron Paul and Pat Buchanan begin to sound less and less crazeh.

ttommyunger June 16, 2011 at 8:42 am

Gawd help us, or as Patrick would say “Got Mitt Uns!”

zhubajie June 16, 2011 at 8:28 am

Too bad they won't be cellmates for life.

zhubajie June 16, 2011 at 8:31 am

Too true.

Billmatic June 16, 2011 at 11:06 am

I've always compared John Edwards to Gary Callahan, the fictious president elect of Warren Ellis's comic book Transmetropolitan but that mugshot is the most uncanny resemblance to the Smiler I've seen so far. http://www.joeszilagyi.com/images/blog/2007/02/sm… I mean srsly can Warren & Darick see the future or something.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: