win of the afternoon

Comment of the Day: ‘That’s Our Unicorn!’

Win for You, and a Massive Loss for America.In the Diminished Expectations Department, Obama’s Justice Department persecuting Obama-lovin’ leftists for having liberal ideals is one of those things that warrants a very reasonable response like, Eh I’m never voting again and also am going to BLOW UP AMERICA, even though such a response will also result in Obama’s Justice Department persecuting you. But our prize-winning Commenter of the Day notes that we just need to put all of this in perspective, and only then is it appropriate to weep openly and respond to all of Obama’s fund-raising spam with violent rhetoric, which will also lead to Obama’s Justice Department persecuting Obama’s supporters, again, forever.

Prommie writes in the comments to this post about the above-mentioned Nixonian horrorshow:

This is a little bit scary, yes, a tad unsettling, but then you read elsewhere in the news that the Whitehouse has also announced a major initiative to crack down hard on marijuana, the killer weed that is luring so many of our young women into white slavery and destroying the lives of so many young men, turning them into axe-wielding homicidal maniacs, then you realize, Obama has his priorities straight. Wars and conflagrations, double-dip depression, rampant financial fraud and market manipulation, unlimited political propagandizing and electioneering by the billionaire corporatocracy, voter suppression, corruption and conflict of influence even on the Supreme Court, and Obama is going after dirty hippie peaceniks, union organizers, and pot smokers. That’s our Unicorn!

And that’s the Win of the Afternoon! Enjoy Gitmo, Prommie!

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      1. tessiee

        Today, we are all the Susan Lucci of Wonkette.

        PS. I wouldn't mind aging as well as she has.

    1. mourningnmerica

      Yeah, me too. What about me? I was stepped over !!! I'm smaht. Not dumb, like everyone says, I'm smaht, and I want RESPECT, Jr. !!!

    2. dr_giraud

      Who ya gonna take with you to Afghanistan for Christmas, Bob, Ann Margaret or Stella Stevens?

        1. prommie

          Stormy, I sigh whenever I hear her name; if I ever hear that she is making a strip club appearance within 500 miles, I swear I am going to see her. I love that dangerously sharp, sculpted beak of hers. And the ginormous tatas.

    3. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      I feel for you Tommm, as I had hopes that our little limerick from yesterday would capture the cold heart of our hot overlords.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      We're pitching it as a trip to a Fantastic Funland and Waterslides Park Adventure!

  1. Radiotherapy

    Congratulations Prommie.
    And don't worry about the five blacked-out Suburbans that just pulled up in your driveway. I'm sure they're just bringing you a little plaque or an upfist or something.

    1. Angry_Marmot

      He calls whenever he gets horny, every four years or so. Kind of like dating a Vulcan.

    2. mourningnmerica

      I'm about ready to send the President a codpiece. Then, the likeness would be complete. Oh, what could have been…

  2. nounverb911

    What happens if the best comment of the day comes while we are commenting on the best comment of the day? Do we get a do-over?

    1. flamingpdog

      Award the best comment of the day to Downfisty and see how many minutes it takes before it gets downfisted.

  3. elviouslyqueer

    Dear Wonkette Jr.

    I will willingly bonk your brains out in order to get Comment of the Day/Week/Semester. Unless, of course, you have ladyparts, in which case I will do your hair, gently criticize your wardrobe, borrow your shoes, and cuddle with you while watching various and sundry rom-coms.

    Just FYI.


    1. emmelemm

      Definitely a contender for best comment ever.

      I would love my hair done, you may criticize my wardrobe and borrow my shoes, but I hate hate HATE rom coms.

    2. anniegetyerfun

      Why discriminiate? Sure, ladyparts, but everyone has an asshole that could use some attention.

  4. harry_palmer

    Although when the award post began "In the Diminished Expectations Department" I momentarily thought they talking about me …

  5. SayItWithWookies

    Sure, get a fancy short name (remember Promnightdumpsterbaby?) and a fancy new award, Prommie ya sellout! Congrats!

    1. CapeClod

      Thank you for reminding me of Prommie's original Nom de Guerre. I miss the days of long avatar names.

  6. Eve8Apples

    Excellent observation Prommie.

    I always wondered why unicorns have horns on their foreheads. Now I know they use them to ass-rape their political supporters.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      They are ridged for your pleasure, so you'll bend over and take it. And you'll like it.

  7. NewYorkJew

    The Nobel Prize … The MacArthur Genius Prize … A grant from the NEH …

    Wonkette Comment of the Day …

    Another reason to feel like a failure.

  8. jus_wonderin

    Geezus, I had a two hour meeting where the crew snickered at me when I suggested an artist jerk off the detail on a model leaving a hole in its place.

    Granted, we were previously discussing a game character that was lacking his trousers.

    Congrats Prommie!!! Have a drink on me!

      1. jus_wonderin

        Computer Games. 20 years. Mainly was just missing the action on Wonkette for a couple of hours and Prommie's “prize”.

  9. sezme

    Congrats, Prommie – well earned.

    You know, in 2008, I made an effort to vote for Obama from Canada. It was a surprising amount of work, lots of forms to fill out and mail to registrars in small towns in Wisconsin, and so on. Anyway, from now on, I think maybe I'll concentrate on Canadian politics (apart from entertainment purposes of course), because that damn donkey/unicorn bit me in the ass again as he always does.

    1. Rotundo_

      Come back down and vote again in Scooter's recall election: Elections matter and every vote counts!

    2. fuflans

      i just heard a piece about the toronto mayor being as close to a bagger as a canadian can be.

      is this TRUE?

      i was going to take my newly minted passport and move up there but not if there's a fucking bagger on lake ontario too.

      1. sezme

        Well, he is the scum of this earth – perhaps not quite a teabagger in scope, but close enough to pretty near ruin the city in a few more years. The only saving grace is that he's so very stupid. He's like that slow kid in grade two who learned that 2+2=4 and so now thinks that 4 is pretty much the answer for every question. That he got himself elected should be an embarrassment to all Torontonians. (Actually it was the Toronto equivalent of the red states, the so-called "inner suburbs" that voted for him).

        You could always come and join the Résistance, though.

        1. fuflans

          he sounded dumb as a box of rocks. the interviewer confused him with 'facts' (that cities like paris and new york and london (UK) are INCREASING bike lanes / usage and he is re-championing the age of the car.)

          this is why i thought he was a bagger.

          1. Negropolis

            He is a bagger. Read up on the guy. He's worse than some of the Republicans that get elected in major cities down south.

  10. jus_wonderin

    Could we use Howard Dean's vocalization as our battle cry?


  11. DemonicRage

    I actually started rereading 1984 the day they caught Bin Laden, because Bin Laden was being hyped just like Emmanuel Goldstein in that book. If you go to Google and type in the words: Who was the enemy of the state in Orwell's 1984, there's a link to an article by a university professor who drew comparisons between Bin Laden and Emmanuel Goldstein.

  12. NickDanger007

    Cornel Wilde was right, Obama is just Wall Street's mascot. He'll do whatever they want.

  13. mormos

    this is how your country dies; not with a bang and a shout, but with a quiet whimper, suffocated beneath the weight of bureaucracy and greed.

  14. Tundra Grifter

    Personally, I'll be happy to finally get to a 3-digit p.

    Talk about your diminished expectations…

  15. mumbly_joe

    Honestly, I'm pretty convinced the real long-term successes the teatard party had wasn't the damage caused by the lunatics they got elected, and promptly petitioned for recall, but rather that they dramatically shifted the definition of "moderate" rightwards and the defintiion of "notaracist" to include some pretty blatant, overt racism.

    So, what I'm saying is, we'd need to build momentum around the notion that Kucinich is iffy, at best, and Bernie Sanders is practically a DINO (technically true!)

  16. anniegetyerfun

    I refuse to put any effort into attempting to be clever in order to win approval from the powers that be. But then, you all probably know that already, based on what I have said so far on teh Wonkette.

  17. sportshort

    O bomb 'er once fer me, o bomb 'er once for you
    O bomb 'er for the cunts who wave the red and white and blue.

    ta da.

  18. JustPixelz

    I'm getting weepy like a Boehner at a Julia Roberts movie. I remember Prommie when he/she was a wee thing with only 85 "p" points. And now … now … I'm sorry, I can't go on.

  19. prommie

    Wow, cool, thank you, Nameless Wonkette overlord who decided to award me this honor. I just have to say, in response to some comments, that I am not worried about blacked-out suburbans or gitmo, no, I am worried that now I will be the target of Breitbart's fucktard legions of cellar-dwelling, cheetos-encrusted stalkers, who I fear are already hard at work tracking down all of my penis-pics so they can send them to my family and employer, as is their usual MO of psychopathic stalkery shitbaggery.

    1. sezme

      Don't worry about the penis-pics; I'll take the fall for you, man. Wait, are you cut or uncut?

    2. CapeClod

      Congrats, prommie.
      And don't worry about Breitbart getting your pictures. They're happy enough just to make shit up about you.

    3. MiniMencken

      Come the Revolution, the Breitbartians will be liquidated as a class. Keep baiting them. We at the Spartacist League are on the job!

    1. ttommyunger

      To be honored by an organization low enough to include me as a member-humiliating!

  20. mrblifil

    Reading plaudits about Prommie's outstanding contributions was an excellent excuse for me to rationalize drinking while axe sharpening.

  21. Nopantsmcgee

    Congrats, Prommie!

    Tip: When engaging in naked men pyramids, call dibs on 'top' ASAP.

    And enjoy your cash winnings that Wonkette will be wiring to your account.

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