ORWELLIAN NIGHTMARES  3:15 pm June 15, 2011

FBI Now Investigating Major U.S. Enemy: Domestic Peace Activists

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

anyone who cares about anything at all is now the enemyIt is still 2006? No, it is 2011! And your mysterious Bush administration Obama administration is concerned about the terrible presence of peaceniks and hippies roaming freely in American cities, because 9/11 was a hippie thing. So what is going on? ‘We just killed that pro-war bin Laden guy,’ Non-Partisan Obama said, ‘so we have to be fair and go after some anti-war activists now.’ There are two sides of the terror coin, after all: the people who want to kill you and the people who dislike the United States being at war all the time. Keep tabs on them both. Hell, just keep tabs on everyone. Everyone is now a terrorist. 

Weirdest part: how did the FBI know who to go after when they wanted to perform raids? THEY LOOKED THROUGH OBAMA’S PHONE BOOK. Haha, there is some ironic proof he is a secret socialist terrorist. Some of those targeted are union organizers and activists Obama had contact with in Chicago. Are you sure you want to volunteer for the Obama re-election campaign?

From the Washington Post:

The search was part of a mysterious, ongoing nationwide terrorism investigation with an unusual target: prominent peace activists and politically active labor organizers.

The probe — involving subpoenas to 23 people and raids of seven homes last fall — has triggered a high-powered protest against the Department of Justice and, in the process, could create some political discomfort for President Obama with his union supporters as he gears up for his reelection campaign.

The apparent targets are concentrated in the Midwest, including Chicagoans who crossed paths with Obama when he was a young state senator and some who have been active in labor unions that supported his political rise.

It is time to brush up on your Orwell, everybody who can still read, which is no one. [WaPo]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 226 comments }

nounverb911 June 15, 2011 at 3:18 pm

Needs more Richard Nixon.

Mahousu June 15, 2011 at 4:30 pm

Oh, I think it has quite enough already.

Negropolis June 16, 2011 at 1:51 am

Can you imagine what Nixon would have been like if he had the internets? My god!

SonofSpermcube June 19, 2011 at 6:51 pm

He never would have survived the experience. He’d have had a stroke, even in his prime.

ifthethunderdontgetya June 15, 2011 at 3:20 pm

…prominent peace activists and politically active labor organizers.

Fuckin' hippies!

What we need is another Kent State, right President Nixon Obama?
~

johnnymeatworth June 15, 2011 at 4:39 pm

This time let's shoot for TEN dead in O-Hi-O!

You know, adjustment for inflation and all….

SmutBoffin June 15, 2011 at 3:22 pm

There's an entire tent city of peace activists and labor organizers in Madison, right now. Just round 'em all up, ship 'em to Gitmo, and call it a day, FBI.

natl_indecency_cmdr June 15, 2011 at 4:49 pm

and they're damp. now where's our story wonkette?

real_dc_native June 15, 2011 at 6:30 pm

That sounds like Resurrection City in 1968. I remember seeing the cops boarding buses in the RFK Stadium parking lot the day they "moved" them out. The cops looked like storm troopers. Later they acted like storm troopers too.

TanzbodenKoenig June 15, 2011 at 7:26 pm

Damnit don't give Hosni MuWalker any ideas, Smut

SonofSpermcube June 16, 2011 at 12:43 am

But where will he find camels?

LabRodent June 15, 2011 at 3:24 pm

I really thought the Cool Black Guy would be different than the Un Cool white guys. FUCK Me.

Beetagger June 15, 2011 at 5:27 pm

You don't get to be the prez without blowing corporate cock.

Swampgas_Man June 15, 2011 at 7:19 pm

As long as the Grey Space Immigrants are secretly running things, nothing will change.

Come here a minute June 15, 2011 at 3:24 pm

As long as we're still at war with Eastasia, I'm cool with it.

Fucking Eastasia.

DaRooster June 15, 2011 at 3:36 pm

I'm cool with Euthanasia…

flamingpdog June 15, 2011 at 4:12 pm

Youth in Asia will kill your grandmother!

Angry_Marmot June 15, 2011 at 6:09 pm

Flea erections in China!

bflrtsplk June 15, 2011 at 4:26 pm

No no no. We are at war with Eurasia. We have always been at war with Eurasia. Get your revised history straight or we'll have to introduce you to the Ministry of Love, then send you down the memory hole.

Come here a minute June 15, 2011 at 8:03 pm

Yeah, that's what I say. Fuck Eurasia. Eastasia is our ally, may they live long and prosper, or whatever.

nounverb911 June 15, 2011 at 3:24 pm

It's just a diversion to keep people away from the opening of the J. Edgar Hoover Memorial Dress Museum.

Lucidamente1 June 15, 2011 at 3:25 pm

Bonus points. Patrick Fitzgerald is leading the investigation.

donner_froh June 15, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Fitzgerald is (or at least was) a crazy motherfucker who would prosecute his grandmother. Which is a good thing as long as he gets pointed in the right direction.

4TheTurnstiles June 15, 2011 at 3:25 pm

For instance:
http://www.solidarity-us.org/current/node/3046

this shit's been around since late 2010.

SorosBot June 15, 2011 at 3:53 pm
real_dc_native June 15, 2011 at 6:36 pm

Since that's the year I started Kindergarten, my file must be pretty thick by now.

flamingpdog June 15, 2011 at 7:24 pm

I started Kindergarten in the DC schools in 1958. I imagine my file is almost as thick as yours.

nounverb911 June 15, 2011 at 3:25 pm

When do the re-education camps open?

V572 [SSAN] June 15, 2011 at 3:56 pm

FEMA's working on it! Don't be so demanding!

DahBoner June 15, 2011 at 4:51 pm

On Coast-to-Coast with George Norey, they talk about FEMA Death Camps as if they were real.

Of course, they also talk about angels, ghosts, UFO's, alien abductions, aliens interbreeding with humans and The Bible being literally true, as if they were real, too…

HistoriCat June 15, 2011 at 5:00 pm

Of course they're real. THEY just want you to doubt that they're real. That's how you know they ARE real.

V572 [SSAN] June 15, 2011 at 5:13 pm

Great show. Norey sounds totally bored and uninterested, but the loons just keep talking.

flamingpdog June 15, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Last summer, in re-education camp, I stuck a copy of the Constitution up my anus.

Boredw/Gravitas June 15, 2011 at 4:46 pm

Why not? Everyone else seems to be using it as toilet paper.

DahBoner June 15, 2011 at 4:53 pm

Rand Paul? Is that you?

Gratuitous World June 15, 2011 at 3:25 pm

-Chicagoan? Check.
-Union worker? Check.
-Obama campaign volunteer? Check.

and then they came for the terrorists, and I said something because apparently that's me.

SmutBoffin June 15, 2011 at 3:29 pm

"Then they came for the Wonkette commenters, and I made a dick joke."

Angry_Marmot June 15, 2011 at 6:14 pm

I will not be volunteering for the Obama re-election campaign; I don't care if the GOP nominates Caligula and the Red Skull.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 15, 2011 at 7:43 pm

Michelle Bachmann and Rudy Giuliani?

fuflans June 15, 2011 at 8:05 pm

wow me too.

as i do not have a job, i think this is all very exciting and will at least give me something to do.

Oblios_Cap June 15, 2011 at 3:26 pm

This is what happens when the FBI is not led by a cross-dressing repressed homosexual.

Larry Craig, our nation turns its lonely eyes to you!

zhubajie June 15, 2011 at 6:39 pm

Or Guiliani

prommie June 15, 2011 at 3:26 pm

This is a litttle bit scary, yes, a tad unsettling, but then you read elsewhere in the news that the Whitehouse has also announced a major initiative to crack down hard on marijuana, the killer weed that is luring so many of our young women into white slavery and destroying the lives of so many young men, turning them into axe-wielding homicidal maniacs, then you realize, Obama has his priorities straight. Wars and conflagrations, double-dip depression, rampant financial fraud and market manipulation, unlimited political propagandizing and electioneering by the billionaire corporatocracy, voter suppression, corruption and conflict of influence even on the Supreme Court, and Obama is going after dirty hippie peaceniks, union organizers, and pot smokers. Thats our Unicorn!

ifthethunderdontgetya June 15, 2011 at 3:41 pm

Jesus, prommie. You're starting to sound like me.

If only I had more than one fist to up with…
~

prommie June 15, 2011 at 3:48 pm

We are fucked, you know. Completely fucked.

real_dc_native June 15, 2011 at 6:41 pm

This is news?

Buckminster June 15, 2011 at 3:50 pm

Jebus, this country has got its collective head up its a$$. The Repugs in the Montana legislature wasted the entire 2011 session foodling around with the medical marijuana law and came up with a draconian system that is nothing like some of us envisioned when we voted to make medical marijuana legal. Glad to hear the Dems on the federal level are as ignorant and backward as the Reps. Not.

sati_demise June 15, 2011 at 5:39 pm

well, teh Arizona legislature is suing the Feds to make them give a clear statement on pot dispensaries. Which may be a good thing, because until then if you dont have a dispensary within 25 miles of your house you can grow your own!

win/win?

Ruhe June 15, 2011 at 4:25 pm

You mention financial fraud and market manipulation. Have you noticed that Barry and the Congress have done exactly nothing about that crap. And yet you can already hear talking-head financial services shills proclaiming that the "regulatory pendulum" has swung too far towards "over-regulation". We are well and truly fucked.

Beowoof June 15, 2011 at 9:22 pm

Its not enough for these guys to win and get all the money. They also must make sure you lose and lose big. Then they go and pray for the poor who will do nothing to help themselves every Sunday. Isn't America and the Right grand.

GOPCrusher June 15, 2011 at 4:28 pm

All in tribute to the 40th Anniversary of Daniel Ellsberg releasing The Pentagon Papers.
Some day, I hope America elects a Democratic President.

DahBoner June 15, 2011 at 5:20 pm

"Whitehouse has also announced a major initiative to crack down hard on marijuana"

That's because when Obama has rappers up in the White House hizzy, they fire up a blunt and then they start raping white women…

4TheTurnstiles June 15, 2011 at 3:27 pm

Sheesh, you make it sound like a great patriot flying an airplane into a government building in Texas qualifies as a terrorist act or something. With surveyor's marks or whatever.

freakishlywrong June 15, 2011 at 3:32 pm

That patriot was beige. Not a terr'ist.

Grief_Lessons June 15, 2011 at 3:28 pm

Maybe the next time the Wonkette commentariate get together we're all wearing orange jumpsuits.

elviouslyqueer June 15, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Fuck. Orange is so not in my color palette.

flamingpdog June 15, 2011 at 4:38 pm

Boehnerwear!

finallyhappy June 15, 2011 at 5:27 pm

Does it have to be orange? Don't they have the nice striped ones anymore- I look better in stripes.

Angry_Marmot June 15, 2011 at 6:18 pm

I can has Rita Hayworth poster?

Beowoof June 15, 2011 at 9:23 pm

That rock hammer will be tougher to come by.

Radiotherapy June 15, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Good thing that Riley character is gone. We wouldn't want any FBI types sniffing around here.

SpurningBeer June 15, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Amen to that. Any federal agents reading the comments today, please understand that all that "fuck war" business Riley Waggaman was spouting was just funny comedy humor. We here all agree that war is awsome and pleasant. What this country needs is less dissent and organized labor. Keep labor disorganized!

Fired up?
Ready to passively and silently comply!

WhatTheHolyHeck June 15, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Okay, fess up. Which one of you in the national control room sat on the Opposite switch?

metamarcisf June 15, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Tin soldiers and Obama coming, we're finally on our own; this summer I hear the drumming, tweet dick shots on my I-phone…

Grief_Lessons June 15, 2011 at 3:32 pm

Put a flower in the barrel of that dick shot and it's Kent State for a new, webbier, pornier generation.

ifthethunderdontgetya June 15, 2011 at 3:35 pm

Win!

I'm glad they banned you at Breitfart, metamarcisf.

Your pearls are wasted before those swine.

P.S. Can I use that for a blog post title? It is just too perfect. Full credit will be given, of course.
~

TX_Bluebonnets June 15, 2011 at 4:30 pm

Win, Meta!

I'm just sorry I had to work and couldn't immediately comment. I was gonna say that very thing. I've been 60's nostalgic lately, because it feels exactly the fuckin' same.

Hey, Hey, Barry K! How many rights did you trample on today?

flamingpdog June 15, 2011 at 4:21 pm

Wish I could upfist at least four (dead in Ohio) times.

mourningnmerica June 15, 2011 at 6:00 pm

Double digits. Dude, I knew you could do it. Keep posting. They can't keep you down.

philpjfry June 15, 2011 at 3:32 pm

Ewwww

4TheTurnstiles June 15, 2011 at 3:32 pm

You know (and this is OT), Miller High Life ain't half bad in the middle of a shitty workday.

RedNM June 15, 2011 at 3:36 pm

And since it's two hours earlier, that goes double for me. The Champagne of Bottled Beer indeed.

DaRooster June 15, 2011 at 3:39 pm

It do have some alcohol in it so…

Radiotherapy June 15, 2011 at 3:40 pm

Why is that OT?
And, if I could drink at work, I would.

natoslug June 15, 2011 at 3:50 pm

You need to renegotiate your contract. I specifically included sunny-day options and afternoon gin in mine. Today is shaping up for a bit of both.

[redacted]hse June 15, 2011 at 9:16 pm

OT- looks like my Lab, 110lbs, strong as an ox. Had his bro., too. Black, 100 lbs. Most of their favorite games involved knocking down my children in one way or another, usually with a running hip-check. Quite amusing.

natoslug June 15, 2011 at 10:53 pm

Unfortunately, my yellow lab prefers to lie at my feet, fart horribly, and eat the golden ret@rded's feces. His stench is strong as an ox, though.

[edit: So . . . we're still blocked from using the T-word. Huh.]

Nothingisamiss June 16, 2011 at 10:07 am

As I reread this thread, it's shit like these comments that keep me going. I need the distraction of dog stories to keep my wits about me.

This has made me think I need to get a few toddlers here and watch them get bowled over. It sounds incredibly amusing. When we went to the assisted living to see grandpa, the bowling people over game was…legally imperiling.

FlownOver June 15, 2011 at 3:42 pm

Not OT at all. Might be all we have left.

Shep Fairey needs a new graphic, because abandon HOPE, all ye who enter here.

prommie June 15, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Somehow it seems to taste better when you drink it straight from a quart bottle. Not a 40, I'm old school, back in the day, when you would skip class, you would buy yourself a quart and chug that, the perfect buzz to go back to shool with. We called them "Buzz Bottles," they cost about 90 cents. Quarts and 40s are made for drinking in the daytime, aren't they? but then again, so are 8-oz pony bottles.

grizzlyalbert June 15, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Yeah!
And a quart BEFORE class was known as The Breakfast of Champions

real_dc_native June 15, 2011 at 6:51 pm

The pony bottles are just the right amount to wash down a shot of Wild Turkey.

[redacted]hse June 15, 2011 at 9:09 pm

Support micro-breweries, esp. in WI.

freakishlywrong June 15, 2011 at 3:34 pm

Well..Obamar DID say he could easily be a one-termer. Freakish and her fellow Wonkateers concur at times.

weejee June 15, 2011 at 3:37 pm

And it's called the War on Drugs (see below).

metamarcisf June 15, 2011 at 3:38 pm

Or you ain't gonna make it with anyone anyhow.

Monsieur_Grumpe June 15, 2011 at 3:43 pm

Ha!

Nothingisamiss June 15, 2011 at 6:49 pm

Win.

glamourdammerung June 15, 2011 at 3:38 pm

Hopey really needs to get it in his head that the conservatives are not going to like him no matter how much of their crap he does too.

GOPCrusher June 15, 2011 at 4:47 pm

Should take a lesson from Michael Steele.

DaRooster June 15, 2011 at 3:40 pm

Hey Greece… we're a comin'…
Hand me a rock!

Chillwaver June 15, 2011 at 3:42 pm

You know who else is being investigated by the FBI?

OneDollarJuana June 15, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Everybody! (Except for the rich, that is)

nounverb911 June 15, 2011 at 3:48 pm

Don Corleone?

easybaked June 15, 2011 at 3:58 pm

California desert tortoises?

Callyson June 15, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Nelson Mandela? Mother Teresa? The Dalai Lama?

Chillwaver June 15, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Speaking of which, where's Extemporanus?

Boehneriffic June 15, 2011 at 4:06 pm

Sean Lennon?

flamingpdog June 15, 2011 at 4:28 pm

All of us, Katie. Especially Katie!

elviouslyqueer June 15, 2011 at 4:33 pm

Castro? Oh, wait.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 15, 2011 at 7:46 pm

The Bush Justice Department and Dick Cheney?

(A man can hope. A man can hope.)

[redacted]hse June 15, 2011 at 9:29 pm

Arlo Guthrie?

SpurningBeer June 15, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Tomorrow I would like to hear about the Justice Department investigating firearm fetishists and open-carry advocates who use rallies and websites to advocate the Second Amendment overthrow of the United States Government, because they want their country back from the coloreds.

Attorney General Holder? Anything?

hagajim June 15, 2011 at 3:50 pm

Can't do that…..it would piss the NRA off, and they have guns.

Ruhe June 15, 2011 at 4:29 pm

If there were a painless way for us all to move someplace nice at the same time, like say, Canada, I'd say let them have it.

GOPCrusher June 15, 2011 at 4:52 pm

Before they do that, let's see an investigation into the Bushyt Cabal for War Crimes.

nounverb911 June 15, 2011 at 3:45 pm

My official Obama birth certificate coffee mug came today, how much trouble am I in?
http://wonkette.com/446081/obama-campaign-selling

DerrickWildcat June 15, 2011 at 3:45 pm

As long as they are fairly treated in the protest camps I'm ok with this.

V572 [SSAN] June 15, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Thank you for bringing a little balance to the argument. Sure the 1st Amendment literally says "Congress shall make no law …abridging the freedom of speech…or the right of the people peaceably to assemble," but they didn't literally mean it, like, "literally."

And in the camps you can say whatever you think it's safe to say!

OneDollarJuana June 15, 2011 at 3:46 pm

I'm not sure… A few stiff airline bottles kills ones sense of smell and revulsion and I might get some "free love" in the head. The AQ guy is not going to be much of a conversationalist, and is likely to be really nervous and twitchy.

natoslug June 15, 2011 at 3:47 pm

I hope so — that's my retirement plan.

Pragmatist2 June 15, 2011 at 3:49 pm

It's a good thing! We don't want peace to break out unexpectedly.

elviouslyqueer June 15, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Not to mention a certain someone who advocates "Second Amendment Remedies."

natoslug June 15, 2011 at 3:51 pm

I live in Humboldt County. That smelly hippie chick is everywhere, man. Patchouli bombs galore.

mormos June 15, 2011 at 3:53 pm

LOOK! SHADOW DEVIL HORNS! proof positive that Obamar is the anticrist, and a communist, and black, and a jew, and hitler, and, uh… gay… probably…

prommie June 15, 2011 at 3:53 pm

I like hippie chicks. The dumb ones, anyway. They don't go on about the G-8, the rainforests or veganism so much. They just want to get high and chill out.

easybaked June 15, 2011 at 3:59 pm

And fuck like rabbits.

prommie June 15, 2011 at 4:23 pm

Thank you.

KeepFnThatChicken June 15, 2011 at 3:55 pm

I never noticed when the surveillance ended. I live in blissful ignorance, because everyone can see when I pee on the sidewalk anyway, so why bother?

Callyson June 15, 2011 at 3:56 pm

Peace activists aren't armed. Same logic the IRS uses to audit those who file for Earned Income Tax Credits, rather than major corporations.

OneDollarJuana June 15, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Damn right! Go investigating militias and you could get shot!

Callyson June 15, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Does this mean Obama has an enemies list now?
JFC, I did not think I was going to have to say "fight the real enemy" to this president, but evidently…

TX_Bluebonnets June 15, 2011 at 4:45 pm

Many people have enemies lists. Richard Nixon, Moe from the Simpson's, me.

It's a useful exercise in letting go of the anger. Let go and let vengeance, that's what I say.

Weenus299 June 15, 2011 at 4:00 pm

(so close to heading for the bahamas for good)

Giveusabob June 15, 2011 at 5:04 pm

So, if paid the f*cking luggage fee and worked on me deep knee bends, may I come along? http://travel.usatoday.com/flights/post/2011/06/s

V572 [SSAN] June 15, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Uh, not in California. That's why they're gonna have to turn a third of 'em loose.

Beowoof June 15, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Only the sick ones?

Grief_Lessons June 15, 2011 at 4:28 pm

If they're sick enough they're low-risk to re-offend anyway.

V572 [SSAN] June 15, 2011 at 5:11 pm
Beowoof June 15, 2011 at 9:17 pm

The cruelty of the folks making these decisions shocks me regularly.

V572 [SSAN] June 15, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Or giant papier-maché heads!

CZL June 15, 2011 at 4:01 pm

They did. Half the right whined like victimized babies, and the other half bought "domestic terrorist" trucker caps to wear to cross burnings.

SorosBot June 15, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Good thing there haven't been many right-wing domestic terrorist attacks since then, and even more foiled attempts.

CZL June 15, 2011 at 4:25 pm

Those are Patriot Demonstrations of Freedom and 2nd Amendment Remedies.

See the problem is that when the left is investigated, they shrug their shoulders and take it, because they've been conditioned to do so. The right acts like spoiled babies because it works and armed idiots back them up. They have a powerful media presence that runs agitprop 24/7.

The left HAS to organize to resist that kind of muscle.

SorosBot June 15, 2011 at 4:01 pm

So we've had more overt racism and anti-Semitism earlier today, and now the government showing us again that they won't trust their own people no matter who's in charge, and will continue spying on peaceful organizations and continue the disasters of the "wars" on terror and drugs as we continue our slide towards a third-world, Orwellian banana republic.

Sigh. Magneto was right.

Ruhe June 15, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Yeah. The movie would have been much more satisfying if Magneto's last words were "Burn it Jean, burn it all."

ThundercatHo June 15, 2011 at 7:23 pm

I know, too bad Prozac has so many fucked up side effects. I was such a contented little cow back then.

Boehneriffic June 15, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Cold Three Floyds Beer in one hour for me.

flamingpdog June 15, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Damn, I do have some annual leave I have to use or lose by June 30 (sorry, socialist gubmint perk). I think I'm drinking early today.

Redhead June 15, 2011 at 4:04 pm

"Everyone is now a terrorist." That was pretty much the goal of the Bush administration. Somewhere, Karl Rove is cackling at his latest triumph.

Callyson June 15, 2011 at 4:04 pm

Is today's quote "Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun"?

zhubajie June 16, 2011 at 9:53 pm

Nowadays, from the barrel of a TV camera.

DerrickWildcat June 15, 2011 at 4:05 pm

Good!
Maybe music will get better.

elviouslyqueer June 15, 2011 at 4:36 pm
metamarcisf June 15, 2011 at 4:06 pm

If you lived here, you'd be drunk by now.

V572 [SSAN] June 15, 2011 at 4:07 pm

The War on Drugs is an exquisitely crafted gobbet of self-perpetuating pork. The fedz give money and guns to the local cops, and feed them studies about the meth menace and the gangs. Who doesn't love free federal money from the Sustainable Bureacracy? No one wants the flow of drugs to end.

Well, maybe some mother of a kid who ODs on bad heroin, but screw that—she's probably not even white, let alone a Republican country club member.

weejee June 15, 2011 at 4:46 pm

Yowza, yowza, the local police departments have a fiscal needle in their arms that would put an iconic junkie to shame.

V572 [SSAN] June 15, 2011 at 4:07 pm

I know which one I'd rather have sex with.

mumbly_joe June 15, 2011 at 5:49 pm

This is the part where I reply with some sort of liquid-explosive-based innuendo, right?

prommie June 15, 2011 at 4:08 pm

There are no more Democrats. When one rears his or her head and threatens the Corporate Freedoms of the United States of Palinania, they are ridiculed, marginalized, or else, somehow manage to die in a plane crash.

donner_froh June 15, 2011 at 4:13 pm

COINTELPRO again? It went so well the first time.

Beowoof June 15, 2011 at 4:16 pm

You could always spot the government guys, they were there in new blue jeans and wing-tips. Funky outfit man.

mumbly_joe June 15, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Or the soveriegn citizen nuts, who keep on murdering cops every so often, when they're not coming up with elaborate plots that involve starting to kill cops and continuing to do so until the National Guard gets called in.

Seriously, is there a *single* murder attributable to peace activists or union organizers, in the past 20 years? Only, Republicans piss and moan when we point out that their "base" consists of neo-fascists that don't think twice about using violence to acchieve poltiical ends, so oh no, can't deal with the actual domestic threats, no sir.

flamingpdog June 15, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Actually, the Bushies left some ticks high up in a bunch of gubmint agencies when they left, turning political appointee positions into civil service positions. Hopefully it's these vermin doing the dirty work w/o O'Bomber's say-so, but not holding my breath.

Nothingisamiss June 16, 2011 at 10:02 am

Truly, I thought this, too. And I realized that the human brain will do amazing things to try and keep it's host going.

How fucked are we if these are Obama's people? Which I refuse to believe. More likely the dems in the office are just too pussy to stand in the way of the boll weevils still there.

mumbly_joe June 15, 2011 at 4:21 pm

It's seriously as though he doesn't want to get re-elected. Sort of like how he's fired all the Keynsians amongst his economic advisors and has started talkign up the confidence fairy who will restore the economy, if we just deal with deficits, presumably in 12-dimensional gambit that involves making sure the economy is still tanking well into election season and all of the people who ran and funded his previous campaign are pissed at him, and then switching party affiliations and blaming Democrats for everything.

[redacted]hse June 15, 2011 at 4:42 pm

Keynsians, or KENYANS!?!

MrFizzy June 15, 2011 at 4:52 pm

It's getting hard to care anymore, ain't it?

real_dc_native June 15, 2011 at 7:10 pm

"It's seriously as though he doesn't want to get re-elected."

As The Onion noted: "Black Man Gets Worst Job in America"

Negropolis June 16, 2011 at 2:05 am

presumably in 12-dimensional gambit that involves making sure the economy is still tanking well into election season and all of the people who ran and funded his previous campaign are pissed at him, and then switching party affiliations and blaming Democrats for everything.

I am laughing so hard at that, but it's mostly a nervous laughter because damn near anything could happen, these days.

prommie June 15, 2011 at 4:24 pm

And I am Marie of Romania.

DownFist Troll June 15, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Relax. keep watching that telescreen, and everything will be fine.

Fukui_sanYesOta June 15, 2011 at 4:46 pm

You say that, but just the other day my telescreen was showing a bouffant guy called (inexplicably) Milf Rimley, a gentleman somehow related to pizza who could only speak in nonsensical metaphorical anecdotes, a crazy lady, and an old man obsessed with gold who were repeatedly asked asinine questions such as which brand of effervescent corn syrup beverage they preferred. Baffling, to say the least.

ifthethunderdontgetya June 15, 2011 at 4:28 pm

Okay, now that I've read the War Criminal Post article (because I'm making my own blog about this), I see Wonkette, Jr. buried the lede (huh huh huh, he said lede!):

The agents seemed keenly interested in Weiner’s home-based business, the Revolutionary Lemonade Stand, which sells silkscreened baby outfits and other clothes with socialist slogans, phrases like “Help Wanted: Revolutionaries.”

It's about the wiener Weiner, as always. Nothing to see here, folks, move along.
~

SmutBoffin June 15, 2011 at 4:33 pm

And I thought "red diaper baby" was just a metaphor!

TX_Bluebonnets June 15, 2011 at 4:43 pm

Check out Richard Dreyfuss. Google his recent stuff and listen to an interview (I think it was Fresh Air).

It's not a metaphor, it's a subculture.

Long Live the Glorious People's Poopelution! (I'm copyrighting that one)

Beowoof June 15, 2011 at 4:29 pm

All commie, hippie, pinko, fags, and we had best be on guard all the time. Loose lips sink congressmen.

prommie June 15, 2011 at 4:30 pm

Paris Hilton and a Democrat's dick. Thats what you are allowed to think, read, and talk about. International trade and monetary policy, the financial markets, and the influence of corporate money in the electoral process, these are the things you are not allowed to think about, speak about. Goldman Sachs doesn't want this "Arab Spring" thing to spread to the West. Must snuff out the vanguard that could possibly ignite such a thing, the few in our society who are aware, must prevent them from infecting the sheep with their pernicious ideas. Now back to Kim Kardashian's kooch and Weiner dressed in drag, and Cops and Idol and the rest of the shit.

TX_Bluebonnets June 15, 2011 at 4:31 pm

Can anybody get Cindy Sheehan up camping on his front porch? Or at least in Lafayette Square?

DerrickWildcat June 15, 2011 at 4:32 pm

It's not that big of deal. None of the people that Obama is rounding up is anyone you'd want to sit around and a have a beer with.

flamingpdog June 15, 2011 at 4:32 pm

OK, maybe it's not the 60s all over again. Hopefully, not worse.

[redacted]hse June 15, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Those right-wing hate groups, militias, and "Projects" are all packin' heat. Let's go fuck up some hippies instead.

DahBoner June 15, 2011 at 4:43 pm

"It is still 2006?"

Yes, it still is at the FBI headquarters.

All the Republicans in the FBI have barracaded the doors because they heard a rumor the President is black…

Ken Layne June 15, 2011 at 5:03 pm

The Justice Department is run by Eric Holder, a black "civil rights attorney." (That is a joke. Take a look at Holder's history. He has been a corporate shill from his first days, and he has reliably prosecuted Democrat lawmakers and defended pharm companies.)

It's time to stop making excuses for top-level executive decisions and policy because there are career employees hired during previous administrations.

This is the work of Barack Obama's presidency, period.

dahboner June 15, 2011 at 6:06 pm

I suspect that stash Holder is rocking is “non-ironic”.

In his spare time, Holder enjoys collecting Hall & Oates memorabilia, drinking whiskey while watching Billy Dee Williams movies, wearing leather pants and tank-tops and playing volleyball on the beach in Speedos…

Negropolis June 16, 2011 at 2:12 am

Yeah, Holder is "running" Justice, like Brown was running FEMA. Everyone knows that the FBI and CIA don't listen to the executive, anymore. They haven't for decades. The president gets the symbolic gesture of choosing a titular head, and that's about it.

Pithaughn June 15, 2011 at 4:47 pm

Orwell, mmm sort of. See if you can find a copy of "The Corpse on Boomerang Road".
Not the greatest literary talent, but a meticulously annotated tale of the history of the war on labor. In 1899. In Telluride. (the irony is that Telluride is now a hot bed of liberalism in a mostly conservative western Colorado. ) This tale is a play book for Republicans like what's his name up there in Wisconsin. This current crop of R's did not invent anything, or have any original ideas. They are simply following the manual. "How to destroy those who get in your way".

natl_indecency_cmdr June 15, 2011 at 4:52 pm

entirely off topic, but this is the mostest bestest headline I've ever seen:

"Scissor Sisters to score new Fraggle Rock movie"

yes. yes. and yes.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2011/jun/15/sciss

Tommmcattt June 15, 2011 at 4:56 pm

Oh, hell yeah. That will be awesome.

HarryButtle June 15, 2011 at 4:56 pm

Her name's Weiner. Coincidence? I think not.

Ken Layne June 15, 2011 at 5:00 pm

Nothing new but the brand new legal authority the FBI now has, under Barack Obama's attorney general and Justice Department, to do domestic espionage on anyone in America, for any reason/no reason at all, without a warrant and without any kind of previously required supervisor's approval, and these new domestic spying powers specifically include going through your garbage at home or work, and gaining access to your online and mobile data and social networks. Things that were illegal (if still widely practiced) under Bush-Cheney-Ashcroft have now been legalized by Barack Obama.

I bet that's not what the people who voted for Obama thought he was going to legalize …

real_dc_native June 15, 2011 at 7:06 pm

If you're not doing anything wrong you have nothing to hide. Now move along, quietly.

DahBoner June 15, 2011 at 5:00 pm

What America needs to head the FBI right now is a guy who loves his wife and is not gay, but likes to hang out in airport bathrooms in immaculately-polished wing-tips.

#THERE'S SOMETHING FUNNY GOIN ON IN THERE

Giveusabob June 15, 2011 at 5:00 pm

Considering how his IntenseDebate follow list probably got handed over as state's evidence, in the witness protection program I'd guess.

proudgrampa June 15, 2011 at 5:14 pm

Apparently, we are also getting ready for war with China:
http://www.truthdig.com/report/print/on_his_way_o

We are so freakin' doomed.

zhubajie June 15, 2011 at 6:54 pm

They'll have to do it with money borrowed from China, which I don't think will happen….

hagajim June 15, 2011 at 5:30 pm

Why would I think that? They've been following me for at least 10 years (looks around paranoiaically)….I do know indeed.

finallyhappy June 15, 2011 at 5:34 pm

my email said $75 or more???

easybaked June 15, 2011 at 7:39 pm

Uh oh. That must mean that the NSA knows how low my income is. I'd best be donnin' my aluminum foil hat now. They have spies everywhere!

Rotundo_ June 15, 2011 at 5:39 pm

Get a Six Sigma team on this immediately! Leave no value stream map undrawn, take no prisoners or waste!

sati_demise June 15, 2011 at 5:52 pm

) What The Fuck Barry?

Was the "Report on the Global Commission on Drug Policy" TL;DR?

http://www.scribd.com/fullscreen/56924096?access_

Amo_of_Bogio June 15, 2011 at 5:54 pm

I now has a permanent sad, one that cannot be cured by all the LOLcats in the whole Internets.

mourningnmerica June 15, 2011 at 6:02 pm

Anybody here still NOT disillusioned with Barry yet? Goin' along, gettin' along. Fuckin' weakling.

DahBoner June 15, 2011 at 6:20 pm

"Anybody here still NOT disillusioned with Barry yet?"

Awww, that's cute!

How old were you when you realized that you weren't getting a pony?

mourningnmerica June 15, 2011 at 11:34 pm

Barry apologist? Sorry, didn't mean to vex you.

real_dc_native June 15, 2011 at 7:18 pm

"Fuckin' weakling." I think not. He's serving our corporate overlords like every other elected official. The weakling part is just an act.

ThundercatHo June 15, 2011 at 6:02 pm

I got the same one but my computer flagged it as unsafe, hmmmm. I may just respond but not with my credit card number.

Angry_Marmot June 15, 2011 at 6:16 pm

There are treatment options for a dribbling dick, but not much can be done for a dick that's drab.

Nothingisamiss June 16, 2011 at 9:54 am

I didn't think it was so drab…..

rickmaci June 15, 2011 at 6:28 pm

OK, I admit it. This shit from Onixon has me looking at the idea of 2d Amendment remedies and thinking the Tea Party has a point. Seriously.

zhubajie June 15, 2011 at 6:44 pm

I'd rather ride a ship or a train. I'm not in a hurry, anyway, and I don't really want to go back to Bush-Obama-stan, anyway.

Chet Kincaid June 15, 2011 at 6:54 pm

Hey Kirsten, you forgot to mention this:

"Investigators, according to search warrants, documents and interviews, are examining possible “material support” for Colombian and Palestinian groups designated by the U.S. government as terrorists.

"The apparent targets, all vocal and visible critics of U.S. foreign policy in the Middle East and South America, deny any ties to terrorism. They say the government, using its post-9/11 focus on terrorism as a pretext, is targeting them for their political views."

Doesn't necessarily justify what they're doing, but it does provide context which a large number of Wonketeers won't ever see, because they just read the posts and jump to the conclusion that bald-faced liar Obama is fucking Unions up the ass at the behest of his Wall Street Masters.

In conclusion, I don't like it when sites subtly mislead, even if they're just dick-joke political sites like the beloved Wonkette.

fuflans June 15, 2011 at 8:13 pm

thanks for that clarification.

MilwaukeeKent June 15, 2011 at 11:22 pm

Right, Chet, there is a context here you correctly identify, but other than a (attempted?) $1,000 donation to a womaes group in Palestine I don't even see smoke. We know how popular female empowerment is with Al Quada and the Taliban — so popular that our own most extreme social conservatives were buddying up to them prior to 9/11, attracted by their success in keeping women in their place.
This started under Bush 2.0 but it continues under Obama. He may not even know it's going on. Holder knows and I'm still trying to figure him out. I think he functions by the book but has this misguided idea that every case, no matter how flawed, must proceed to its orderly conclusion. The law is interested in order, not justice. The Rule of Law and fuck its spirit, as long as it's pro forma.

ShaveTheWhales June 26, 2011 at 12:24 am

Chet, you do recall how weak the definition of "material support" has become, do you not?

The quote you cite makes me think "fishing expedition" even more than the original KBJ post.

real_dc_native June 15, 2011 at 6:57 pm

I know that if I won a dinner with Hopey, I'd be tazered and put in an orange jumpsuit before the desert.

easybaked June 15, 2011 at 8:02 pm

I hope that we can share a cell with Riley Waggs. At least I'll be laughing my balls off as they're being shocked.

real_dc_native June 15, 2011 at 7:02 pm

I'm sure a government agency in suburban Maryland has a whole floor of one of their buildings dedicated to recording every snark on Wonkette.

lumpenprole June 15, 2011 at 9:56 pm

That would be a very cool gig. I'm sure they drink at work.

SarcasticNymph June 18, 2011 at 3:50 am

Hell, they're probably commenters!

Thedongsofwar June 15, 2011 at 7:14 pm

Por que, Obama?

Por que…..

MilwaukeeKent June 15, 2011 at 10:39 pm

Can we monitor your completely constitutional activities? Si su puede!

ttommyunger June 15, 2011 at 7:16 pm

"Now?" This has been SOP for at least forty years for the Bureau. Safe, easy targets for the same paycheck. No brainer!

ThundercatHo June 15, 2011 at 7:21 pm

Update; Went to obamaforamerica and explained why I would not be purchasing their $100 lottery ticket. Better get cleaned up before the guys in the black SUVs show up.

easybaked June 15, 2011 at 7:56 pm

Make sure that you have clean underwear on. Me, I'm going 'commando' in solidarity with Pvt. Manning.

rileywaggs June 15, 2011 at 8:05 pm

I need to get out of this Terror Swamp immediately.

:(

fuflans June 15, 2011 at 8:14 pm

rileytown!

natoslug June 15, 2011 at 11:02 pm

Breitbart has you locked in his leaking basement AGAIN? Come out here to California and enjoy the redwoods and dready white girls.

[redacted]hse June 15, 2011 at 9:22 pm

And the old SDS poster, better get rid of that.

[redacted]hse June 15, 2011 at 9:28 pm

It's the fucking Patchoule oil.

MilwaukeeKent June 15, 2011 at 10:12 pm

"Good intentions will always be pleaded for every assumption of authority. It is hardly too strong to say that the Constitution was made to guard the people against the dangers of good intentions. There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters."
Daniel Webster

Okay, so that's 2 grand I can rededicate to local and state races next year along with my volunteer time, right there. Being in Wisconsin, it might help make an actual difference. I'm not going to be hoodwinked in 2012. This time around he can solicit the Military-Industrial Complex. Feel like a damned fool for all the money and time I gave the Bammer in 2008. Unfortunately, I'll still have to vote for him, most likely. I mean, Palin? Bachmann? Rick "Jesus, hair!" Perry? Vote Third Party and help hand the election to the greater of two evils? Nothing but bad choices everywhere you look. Election day 2012 will be spent voting, then vomiting, getting drunk and vomiting again.

Negropolis June 16, 2011 at 1:52 am

Janet Napolitano tried that a year or two ago, and Real America screamed her into submission.

Negropolis June 16, 2011 at 2:06 am

You see, this is what happens when you run out of Osama Bin Laden's to shoot in the eye.

Barring an economic recovery, or even just a stagnation, he'll need another war by next year to keep his game going. Anyone want to take a stab at who's next? Can we invade somewhere in the tropics, this time? Can we goez to Bora Bora instead of Tora Bora?

Rarian Rakista June 16, 2011 at 7:37 am

As someone who has been on a campus threatened by Animal Rights people, I have to say they take the cake at the moment in scary.

easybaked June 16, 2011 at 10:30 am

Is that you, Juan Williams?!

SarcasticNymph June 18, 2011 at 3:23 am

Look out, Wisconsin Democrats and Union and student protesters. You're next.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: