ANTHONY WEINER DID 9/11?  12:33 pm June 14, 2011

Moonie Times: Weiner Maybe Showed His Weiner Because He’s Secretly Muslim

by Wonkette Jr.

How is crazyland? Still crazy! Here’s what the Washington Times posted about a well-known Jewish man from New York:

Given the defense articulated by the Imam, which would be offered only for a Muslim man, we must believe this opportunity to remove this Muslim woman from a union with an non-believer would be quickly taken. Therefore we must consider that Mr. Weiner *may* have converted to Islam, because if he did not, we have to consider the unlikely, that being that Ms. Abedin has abandoned her Muslim faith, even while she still practices.

No idea what this means, and also we don’t care, but it is important to note (for history) that wingnuts employed by the Moonie Cult are suggesting Anthony Weiner flashed his junk on Twitter because secretly he is a Sharia Muslim Terrorist. [TPM]

 
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{ 54 comments }

jdoleman June 14, 2011 at 12:34 pm

"Weiner's wife Huma Abedin, whose father was an Islamic scholar from Pakistan,"

And you need more evidence than that?

Barb June 14, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Was one of his Tweets captioned "I'm declaring this fatwa just for you baby?"

Gratuitous World June 14, 2011 at 12:37 pm

you had me at *may*

Lucidamente1 June 14, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Nothing says "I just converted to Islam" like tweeting photos of your shlong.

DaRooster June 14, 2011 at 1:16 pm

That's how I celebrated signing up for The Wonk…

PristineODummy June 14, 2011 at 10:33 pm

Me too. I still have your pictures.

revmod June 15, 2011 at 8:53 am

Shlong? "Sambool", surely.

Barb June 14, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Doesn't being a Muslim suck all the fun out of the "what are you wearing?" late night phone call?
"I'm wearing an enveloping head to toe outer garment of black and a face veil, how about you?"

weejee June 14, 2011 at 12:47 pm

So Barb you're saying burqa-bing don't get a burqa-boom?

Monsieur_Grumpe June 14, 2011 at 1:14 pm

I don't know why I find that so freakin funny.
Thanks.

V572 [SSAN] June 14, 2011 at 3:52 pm

No bunga-bunga with a burqa!

PsycWench June 14, 2011 at 12:59 pm

No way, baby, I'm wearing a burkini!

For you, Barb, I looked up how to hyperlink.

AJWjr. June 14, 2011 at 1:07 pm

Kicky!

Barb June 14, 2011 at 1:07 pm

That is awesome, girlfriend! Thanks for sharing this hilarious link.

DashboardBuddha June 14, 2011 at 1:41 pm

Those things look hot. Not hot as in attractive, but actually physically hot.

Trollina Dumbass June 14, 2011 at 7:22 pm

She's Allah that!

PristineODummy June 14, 2011 at 10:35 pm

Read "Secret Life of Syrian Lingerie." I understand it's not selling well in Syria right now, so you can probably pick up a copy for a couple of dinars. But srsly. They HAVE to wear those enveloping head-to-toe outer garments of black with a face veil, otherwise we'd get all excited looking at the stuff they have on UNDERNEATH.

weejee June 14, 2011 at 12:42 pm

So Weiner is keeping kosher supporting Sharia with his wiener? So far the intertubes are not reporting that any porking went on so all is good. Dietarily speaking obvs.

MissTaken June 14, 2011 at 12:43 pm

Weiner a Muslim? Well, duh! Didn't he ask one of the ladies, "can I stick my hummus in your pita?"

mumbly_joe June 14, 2011 at 2:45 pm

Maybe, but so did Bill O'Rielly, so that's hardly proof.

PristineODummy June 14, 2011 at 10:38 pm

No, no, BillO wanted to stick his loofah in the hummus. Pervy stuff. Hummus in pita is *natural.*

tihond June 14, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Five times a day, he makes sure Lil' Weiner faces Mecca.

metamarcisf June 14, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Lisa: I talk like a filthy whore in bed…even though i am such a nice wholesome jewish girl (haha). i love when a guy jerks off on the phone for me…that is so hot..I at least need to hear your voice when u cum

V572 [SSAN] June 14, 2011 at 3:54 pm

You've got the Weiner oeuvre nailed, it must be said.

CalamityJames June 15, 2011 at 7:47 am

I'm really not sure if this was supposed to be funny…so maybe you could keep going for a few paragraphs and then, right before my nap, I can make a final mess…I mean decision.

hagajim June 14, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Check for stains on the burka!

weejee June 14, 2011 at 12:50 pm

ftw

ifthethunderdontgetya June 14, 2011 at 12:51 pm

I can hardly wait for the Washington War Criminal Post to respond.

Are they going to let themselves get out-crazied by the Moonie Times?

Not for long, if recent history is a guide…
~

Bonzos_Bed_Time June 14, 2011 at 12:54 pm

From your Golan Heights (first left, then right) to your Gaza (landing) strip, this Weiner will divide your Jerusalem like a Quassam rocket of love.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 14, 2011 at 12:54 pm

So we have gone from underwear bombs to underwear. Imagine trying to get on an airplane now. Those Muslims are cunning. Cunning I tell you.

jaytingle June 14, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Why would someone be a "secret" Muslim? Times opinion-havers are all too familiar with life in the closet and thus believe everyone lives on the DL.

MARCdMan June 14, 2011 at 12:56 pm

I thought sharia mandated cutting if off for fornication?

baconzgood June 14, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Democrat= Muslim. ALWAYS. Why is this a surprise to any of us?

Doktor Zoom June 14, 2011 at 1:05 pm

Surprising how much mileage the wingnuts can get by replacing "communist" with "Muslim" in their old scripts, isn't it?

SorosBot June 14, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Well the idea that Weiner secretly converted to Islam sounds much more reasonable than the idea that his wife is not a fundamentalist Muslim but one who does not follow all of the strict rules of Islam but instead will marry a Jewish man and possibly even drink and eat pork; that would be ridiculous because we all know that every single one of the billion or so Muslims in the world is exactly the same.

Callyson June 14, 2011 at 12:58 pm

But how can you question a column from this reliable source:
The post's author is "Goodwill Ambassador Eliana Benador," who works for an organization that represents West Bank settlers in Israel. Longtime readers of TPM may recall her from her days as a PR rep for anti-Iran neoconservatives: in 2006 one of her clients spread a phony story about the Iranian government requiring Jews to wear yellow stars on their clothing.
OK, that's it then…Weiner in 100% Muslin.

Mahousu June 14, 2011 at 1:09 pm

If she's a "goodwill ambassador," then Sarah Palin is a "thoughtful intellectual."

Gopherit June 14, 2011 at 1:05 pm

Clearly Weiner is not interested in virgins, so I doubt his musliny goodness.

Sue4466 June 14, 2011 at 1:07 pm

Medic! Can we get a grammar medic to diagram these Moonie sentences? stat!

Guppy06 June 14, 2011 at 1:07 pm

Jews, Muslims, they're both opposed to sausage.

Radiotherapy June 14, 2011 at 1:13 pm

Thank god they don't think he is an atheist. That's the kiss of eternal political death.

PabaBritannica June 14, 2011 at 1:19 pm

What's the Sharia Law punishment for libel? Or braindead-ness.

axmxz June 14, 2011 at 1:27 pm

Sometimes a wiener is just a wiener.

Oblios_Cap June 14, 2011 at 1:30 pm

Those Muslin Brotherhood guys of the Abu Ghraib human pryamid team liked having pictures of their genitalia taken, too.

QED.

BornInATrailer June 14, 2011 at 1:48 pm

Today, we are all secret Muslims.

No, seriously. I suspect a very higher % of Wonketteers have sent pictures of their junk to people.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 14, 2011 at 1:52 pm

Glenn Beck is right! The Caliphate is already here!

ttommyunger June 14, 2011 at 2:34 pm

The "Washington Times": The Official Paper of Record for the Batshit Crazy Brigade. Their Motto- "Covers Fucktardia Like the Dew!"

DahBoner June 14, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Still crazy after all those beers?

gurukalehuru June 14, 2011 at 4:06 pm

Sheikh that thing!

finallyhappy June 14, 2011 at 4:55 pm

I didn't know Trazodone was prescribed anymore(is that off-topic?)

iburl June 14, 2011 at 6:29 pm

Hermann Cain Approves

Redhead June 14, 2011 at 8:48 pm

"No idea what this means"

I think it means "Weiner had sexytimes with a brown lady (who must be muslin because she's brown) and is therefore tainted by the brown-ness, because it's contagious, like the cooties. And now it's time for me to go take my medicine."

PristineODummy June 14, 2011 at 10:43 pm

ZOMG!!! We're SURROUNDED!

PristineODummy June 14, 2011 at 10:51 pm

For an aged dude, the right revved-up Sun Myaung Moon sure does obsess a great deal about the filthydirty lineages of Love Organs, both Convex and Concave.

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