America’s third-graders are not, generally speaking, overwhelmingly aware of the dangers of socialism. This is unacceptable according to the Tampa Liberty School, a 5-day summer camp designed to wash the political correctness out of children’s tender, pre-liberal minds. There, kids will learn about Thomas Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton, the Federalist Papers, the schools of constitutional interpretation and Enlightenment contexts for the American Revolution. Just kidding. They will learn that socialism is evil, paper currency is arbitrarily worthless, and that freedom means cleaning up the giant mess you made all over the floor. It is a helpful coincidence that these lessons are designed for third grade level learning since the class projects are created with about the third grade level understanding of American history known to so many of our beloved Tea Party Patriots.
This is a long block quote, but it is worth it. From the St. Petersburg Times:
One example at Liberty: Children will win hard, wrapped candies to use as currency for a store, symbolizing the gold standard. On the second day, the “banker” will issue paper money instead. Over time, students will realize their paper money buys less and less, while the candies retain their value.
“Some of the kids will fall for it,” Lukens said. “Others kids will wise up.”
Another example: Starting in an austere room where they are made to sit quietly, symbolizing Europe, the children will pass through an obstacle course to arrive at a brightly decorated party room (the New World).
Red-white-and-blue confetti will be thrown. But afterward the kids will have to clean up the confetti, learning that with freedom comes responsibility.
Still another example: Children will blow bubbles from a single container of soapy solution, and then pop each other’s bubbles with squirt guns in an arrangement that mimics socialism. They are to count how many bubbles they pop. Then they will work with individual bottles of solution and pop their own bubbles.
Haha, we don’t even understand this last one. Popping other kids’ bubbles is way more fun than popping your own. [St. Petersburg Times via Wonkette operative “Brandon H.”]