Deathers Will Search Arabian Sea For Osama Body, To Prove It Is Not There

 
 Ocean treasure hunter Bill Warren does not trust sketchy terrorist lover Nobama to admit on his own that Osama bin Laden is not dead, so Warren will go visit the North Arabian Sea to search for Osama's body, to prove once and for all it does not exist. Warren will even take a documentary crew with him, to help declare the ocean Osama-free with hours of footage of nothing. The North Arabian Sea floor is your new Hawaii Department of Health: RELEASE THECERTIFICATEBODY. Why is the ocean protecting Obama?

From TMZ.com:

Treasure-hunting explorer Bill Warren tells TMZ, the purpose of the excursion "is to try to find out if [Osama] is really dead and to provide to the world the proof that he is ... We do this because we are patriotic Americans and feel that President Obama failed to provide the proof."

Bill adds, "I do not trust my government or Obama."

The search will take place in the North Arabian Sea, where a U.S. Navy ship allegedly dumped Osama's body back in May. Bill explains, "We intend to locate/recover his body and photograph and video tape him, then do a DNA test on the ship."

What high tech investigative plan does Warren have for finding Osama's body? Like any good wingnut, he will Ask the Internet. Here is Bill, responding to a thread on a Yahoo! Answers message board last month, trying to find someone who can tell him where Osama's body is:

Conspiracy wingnuts have a new strategy: at least pick something the president can't begrudgingly produce after they nag him about it for a while. [ TMZ.com ]