old world order

Can of Pringles Causes Bomb Scare At Bilderberg Meeting In Switzerland

The annual super secret scary capitalist meeting of the Bilderbergs is underway in St. Moritz, Switzerland, with all the usual vintage cronies like Kissinger and Rockefeller and the Goldman Sachs chairman and their European villain equivalents. OR IS IT? Two mysterious heroes for democracy attempted to either have a snack or, if you look at it another way, were trying to bomb the meeting with a can of Pringles, which police seized along with the two men.

Charlie Skelton of the Guardian reports:

Just when you thought the annual four-day Bilderberg conference couldn’t get any more exciting, a policeman goes and finds a bomb. Or at least, he went and found a “tubular device” that at certain angles, if you squinted a bit, looked sort of like a bomb. By that well known bomb manufacturer — Pringles.

All of a sudden the shout went up, out came the handcuffs, and two men (that nobody recognized) were bustled into custody. We’re still trying to find out who they were or what they’re charged with.

This is a good news day for a reporter stuck “covering” Bilderberg. This is the only thing that reporters have to talk about at Bilderberg, since they are otherwise banned from getting close to the hotel where the meeting happens and have to just stand outside reporting on the weather. It’s raining! Probably. It always rains when villains come together to plot.

Are they all villains? Charlie Rose is attending this year. What? We were kind of hoping he was still one of the good guys. The heads of Google, Amazon and one of the co-founders of Facebook are attending this year also, probably because one of the themes is “Social Networks: Connectivity and Security.”  We look forward to some “security changes” over at Facebook when the meeting is done. [The Guardian/ Bilderberg Official Site]

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Comments

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  • nounverb911

    Gives new meaning to the term "cholesterol bomb".

  • http://www.burndownblog.com evan7257

    Isn't that the place where you can pay too much money to make your own teddy bears?

    • poncho_pilot

      evil teddy bears. like Teddy Ruxpin.

  • ALIVE!

    No, we said those Pringles are like a FAT BOMB.

  • nounverb911

    The junk food nazis are alive and well living in Switzerland.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Switzerland has long been known for hoarding NAZI junk food.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Reminds me of a story I heard from a close relative, who was in London in the mid-90s. He or a friend had gotten a sandwich, that turned out to be entirely unpalatable, so they left it & the brown lunch-sack in which it came on the Tube. The rest of the day, they were hoping to see news of the London Subway shut down over a possible IRA bomb — that would turn out to be English food unfit for American taste-buds.

    • baconzgood

      English food is unfit for English taste-buds.

      • horsedreamer_1

        How do you think they stay so thin?

        (Looking at you, Kate Middleton Duchess Catherine of Cambridge. (No, seriously, I am. I'm outside your window with a periscope.))

        • alaninthecastro

          English food is far more dangerous than your average IRA bomb.

      • Negropolis

        I had a fast-food pizza over in London. It was an abomination onto the Lord. They shouldn't even be allowed to call in pizza. I mean, it was ten times worse than Little Caesar's.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    The Boston Police Department could give them lessons on how to panic when encountering something that is obviously not a bomb.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    First they came for the Pringles,
    and I didn't speak out because I didn't want Pringles.

    Then they came for the Doritos,
    and I didn't speak out because I didn't want Doritos.

    Then they came for the Lays Chips,
    and I didn't speak out because I didn't want Lays Chips.

    Then I had to go to the store
    because there was nothing left to eat.

    • genxr

      *sniff* that's so poignant. Never again! Never. Again.

    • V572 [SSAN]

      Bigot! Where are the Cheetos? They'd disappear long before the Pringles, at least at my house. Pringles are reconstituted potato-like substances, salted and formed into "chips." Cheetos are probably pure industrial waste garnished with salt, but taste much better. The orange fingers are just collateral damage.

  • emmelemm

    Junior, junior: how many times we gotta say it? ALT-TEXT, baby. It's the cherry on the sundae.

    • RadioJr.

      It's the hydrolyzed protein on the Pringles

    • Grief_Lessons

      The happy ending to the massage.

      • cheetojeebus

        A "tweet" from your congressman.

    • RavenRant

      It's the anus in the anus burger.

      • emmelemm

        Is finding the actual anus in your anus burger like finding the baby in your king cake?

        • RavenRant

          Better!

      • Grief_Lessons

        Waiter, I'd like to complain: this is clearly a cloaca!

        • RavenRant

          Wonketteers have been sending me to the online dictionary this week. Thanks for the ejumacation.

          Weekend begins… NOW!

  • http://www.neoseeker.com/forums/ Madfall

    Remind me, do wingnuts consider the Bilderbergs the Illuminati or the Elders of Zion?

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      You can wind some lefties up talking about the Biderbergers, too.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        "Whyyyy, I oughta…"

    • elviouslyqueer

      Yes.

    • zhubajie

      All of them, plus the Mafia, the Yakuza and the Triads!

  • Geminisunmars

    You know who else liked his pringles in Switzerland?

    • genxr

      I was about to say Hitler, but he stayed out of Switzerland for fear of the pringles.

    • nounverb911
      • Lascauxcaveman

        When I clicked your link, I was expecting to see something something truly filthy. I've been hanging out here far too long.

        • flamingpdog

          You were just confusing it with Debbie and the Dallas Cowboys.

        • Beowoof

          If you were watching the game it was a major obscenity.

      • flamingpdog

        Buh, buh, buh, Benny and the Jets?

    • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

      William Tell?

      • nounverb911

        The Lone Ranger?

      • poncho_pilot

        William Burroughs?

    • SayItWithWookies

      Ulrich Zwingli?

      • powersuit

        Joke all you want, you're still going to hell.

    • powersuit

      Der schweize Bube?

      • Geminisunmars

        Non. Mon enfant suisse?

    • horsedreamer_1

      Otzi?

      • baconzgood

        Frederic Henry?

        EDIT:
        Troll down fisted me for that one. Who'da thunk Troll doesn't know Ernest Hemingway huh?

        • Geminisunmars

          Troll downfists everything. It doesn't stop to read, might learn something.

          So, Fred Henry, as in "Goodbye, Arms" bomb?

          • baconzgood

            Yeppers. Ernie was great.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            I thought that took place in the Italian Alps. But then again I haven't finished the book yet; I put it down for a couple weeks every time that touchy-feely Italian surgeon roommate creeps me out. Which is often.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      NAZI gold? (Glenn Beck?)

    • metamarcisf

      Uncle Fester?

    • fartknocker

      Heidi Klum?

    • GOPCrusher

      Simon Ammann?

    • themcwow

      Swiss Miss Instant Cocoa with mini marshmallows

    • poncho_pilot

      Baron Von Richthofen?

    • Boredw/Gravitas

      Charlie Chaplin?

    • Nothingisamiss

      Heidi? (Really? I'm the first one with that? Seems clear.)

    • Beowoof

      Jason Bourne who used a can to kill the bad guys.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      John Calvin? Pringles are sacramental in Calvinist churches.

    • zhubajie

      Karl Jung?

  • nounverb911

    Are the Koch boys there with the rest of their secret cabal?

  • Goonemeritus

    For a true cabal they would need to invite " the Queen, The Vatican, The Gettys, The Rothschilds, *and* Colonel Sanders before he went tits up"

  • CrunchyKnee

    Downfister probably doesn't even know where Switzerland is, unless he came out of his mom's basement once to scrounge for more Cheetos and accidentally went there somehow.

    • BTWBFDIMHO

      So downfister is Dubya, who used to confuse Sweden with Switzerland, and also used to choke on Pretzels.

    • RadioJr.

      But I'm sure downfisty has seen the bottom of a few cans of Pringles before.

      • themcwow

        and now it all makes sense

      • flamingpdog

        But I'm sure downfisty has had a few cans of Pringles up his bottom before.
        /fixed

        • AJWjr.

          Perfect launch for the gerbils.

  • genxr

    It was the fat free potato chips with Olestra. BOOM!

    • CrunchyKnee

      St. Moritz – come for the crypto-fascist fun, stay for the anal leakage!

    • Beowoof

      That would be the bomb that is appropriate for this crowd.

  • themcwow

    Roman Polanski?

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Actually, that was a California Hot tub, which is why he is in Switzerland.

  • ThundercatHo

    St. Moritz? I thought Galt's Gulch was in Colorado.

    • Beowoof

      I thought Ayn Rand possessed Galt's Gulch.

  • nounverb911

    Were they at least chocolate covered Pringles?

    • Nothingisamiss

      Mmmmmmm…….

    • flamingpdog

      Stand Clear! BZZZZZT!!!

  • Schmannnity

    High powered explosives later determined to be Poprocks.

  • KommunistKitty

    Perhaps they were memorializing the death of their fellow terrorist: http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,…

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    David Rockefeller is still alive. Will wonders never cease?

    • flamingpdog

      Mebbe he has Dick Cheney's heart.

  • fuflans

    the banality of evil.

  • metamarcisf

    There's commenter on Breitbart who bills herself as Eileen for Freedom. She is obsessed with the Bilderbergs. If I wasn't banned for life over there for making too many Anus and Andy jokes, I'd point her to this article.

    • ragnarok4msm

      Wonder what happened to you at AB. I did your job for you(linked it on1 of her comments).while I agree with about 30% of what she is sayin the rest is straight batsh!t Alex Jones style.

    • Nothingisamiss

      Is that why your pee occ. comes close to reaching yelloish-green? If Breitbart refuses to downfist you, who are you?

    • RavenRant

      Your 3 digit negative p is in peril!

  • Sue4466

    Once they pop, you can't stop.

    • prommie

      If she smokes, she pokes.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        If her hair's dyed blue, she's bound to screw.

  • smashedinhat

    Kissinger. The gift that keeps on giving. Like herpes.

    • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      Or real bombs.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Euphemistically, "undetonated ordnance".

        • RadioJr.

          He was the John Bolton of his day. Minus the 'stache and the goy.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Plus, most people believed Henry K to be highly intelligent, farsighted, reasonable, even thoughtful. All very helpful if you want their collusion for committing your war crimes.

            I'm pretty sure no one would make that mistake with ol' Walrus-Face.

  • baconzgood

    You know how deadly pototo ordnance delivery technology systems have gotten in the last 3 years?!?! It's fucking scary people. I understand the precautions.
    http://www.wikihow.com/Build-a-Potato-Launcher

    • flamingpdog

      Please send Dick Cheney one so he can shoot Dan Quayle in the face for us.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I know whenever I eat Pringles, I have an explosion about an hour or so later.

  • http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/ Chillwaver

    I always knew that Julius Pringles (mustached logo) was a muslin!

    • baconzgood

      I never bought his babershop quartet look. He's a nefarious fellow.

      • horsedreamer_1

        I don't trust any swarthy Eye-tai, nor their Organ-grinding Monkeys.

        • baconzgood

          I like you horsedreamer_1. We can hang out and bash degos till the cows come.

        • baconzgood

          Which reminds me:

          Did you hear of the new tires Ferrari invented?
          Dego fast
          Dego slow
          and when Dego go flat Dego Wop Wop Wop.

          • horsedreamer_1

            I have the benefit of being one. All my back & chest hair proves it.

            At least, when my head is thinned out for hair, I can get more realistic plugs — my own — than Wayne Rooney.

          • http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/ Chillwaver

            Picking on my paisani? What did we ever do to you? Isn't sending the Jersey Shore crew to Florence not enough punishment???

          • baconzgood

            Ohhh com'on

            As my pappy was fond of saying while he bounced me on his knee. "Baconz, if you can't laugh at a crippled italian midget what can you laugh at?"

          • GOPCrusher

            * sob * That's touching. I want that on a needlepoint sampler.

          • http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/ Chillwaver

            Ha. You're right. "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" would not be the same without Danny DeVito…

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    All of a sudden the shout went up, out came the handcuffs, and two men (that nobody recognized) were bustled into custody. We’re still trying to find out who they were or what they’re charged with.

    Too late, those men have already been sent to secret CIA Goldman Sachs Torture Prisons™. You'll never hear from them again.
    ~

    • flamingpdog

      DId Opie and Anthony show up for work today?

  • SayItWithWookies

    That was a close call — the Bilderbergers would've been horrified to find out that a product available at a convenience store came within a few hundred feet of the pate de fois gras and the truffled arugula salad with gorgonzola. I mean, you hear about incidents like this happening, but you never really know the full impact until it almost happens to you.

    • V572 [SSAN]

      Ever tried called Cambozola? It is a combination of a French soft-ripened triple cream cheese and Gorgonzola that is weapons-grade tasty. Just don't tell your cardiologist.

      • SayItWithWookies

        Camembert and Gorgonzola, or so I saw it described on a cooking show this past weekend. Apparently it's all the rage, but I haven't tried it yet.

      • finallyhappy

        I think Jose Andres introduced me to it(not personally of course- I am not yet that important in the Washington scheme of things)

    • poncho_pilot

      i thought the pate was made form the livers of war orphans…

      • flamingpdog

        Pate made from the liver of Breitbart gives you a bigger buzz, but makes you more disagreeable.

  • charlesdegoal

    In St Moritz, all references to Pringles are to Scottish knitwear. Reconstituted potato chips are no-no's.

  • Weenus299

    It was a ruse. The experts missed the real bomb, encased in an Oscar Meyer Lunchable.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Based upon this, I have a feeling that Sarah Palin's bus is full of explosives.

    • prommie

      Bugle-Bombs? I see her brood eating a lot of bugles; they are the grossest thing I can imagine. And marshmallow peanuts, and candy corn.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Ringing the Taco Bells, telling Michelle Obama they aren't going to accept her fascism at a fork's edge.

        • genxr

          Ringing those taco bells, and firing those warning farts.

          • Nothingisamiss

            Accidental downfist, when anyone who's anyone would upfist this comment.

          • flamingpdog

            upfisted for your snarking pleasure.

      • elviouslyqueer

        Don't forget about the glorified cow patties we serve down here in Dixieland.

    • genxr

      They have weapons grade funyuns, and must be stopped!

  • iburl

    Cue the Imperial March.

  • Lucidamente1

    Jesus, Riley isn't even gone a month and look what happens.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Well, that's what you get for not using Aqua Teen Hunger Force for your security needs.

    • GOPCrusher

      This sounds more like a job for ISIS and Sterling Archer

      • AJWjr.

        As long as Cheryl/Carol is in, I'm good with it.

  • V572 [SSAN]

    Ha ha, Bilderberger journo-whores have nothing to cover. It's not like they were State Department journo-whores, or the pitiful souls consigned to rewrite NASA press releases in a vain attempt to make them interesting. Or a CNN "reporter" "covering the story" about Libya while sitting in London. Or for that matter the contentious douche bags of the White House press corps, struggling every day to extract news at an event purposely designed to be news-free. How can they do that every day, and still have time to worry about whose chair is closer to the lectern?

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Everything Pops With Pringles!™

  • rambone

    Were they the Fat Free Pringles made with Olean®? Those have made my ass explode on more than one occasion.

    • finallyhappy

      I could only eat one of those things- they make your mouth feel like it is coated with a thick layer of dried grease. I like my grease fluid- like you get from real potato chips!

  • BloviateMe

    Isn't Bilderberger Bergerbilder that mean guy who cancelled Christmas?

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    Wonkettes, Jr: speculation:

    1) Proof that there can be only (more than) one: no alt text on the pic for this post.

    2) One of them is Barb: because where is Barb?

    3) …
    ~

    • RadioJr.

      And let's not forget Extem. The pedobear and jr. have not been seen together.

    • Geminisunmars

      Eh, she just found a life is all.

    • DemmeFatale

      I think she was in Vegas this week.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Pringles is currently running a promotion where you can get some kind of speaker to stick in your Pringles can…
    http://www.pringles.com/current-promotions

    …which can obviously be rejiggered as a triggering device. Why does P&G hate Global Oligarchy, when it is All That?

    • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

      One word: Satan!
      ~

      • poncho_pilot

        Texe Marrs sounds like a fake name. it's an anagram of Rat REM Sex. i think this means he takes the form of a Rat to impregnate women in their sleep with the spawn of Satan.

  • OneDollarJuana

    Alls I can say is: THANK GOD FOR FRIDAY! I'm gonna make a big campfire, burn some burgers, drink mass quantities of German beer, and eat REAL POTATO CHIPS.

  • poncho_pilot

    pringles burrito?

  • x111e7thst

    LONDON (AP) — Britain's High Court has ruled that Pringles are not a potato snack, and thus are not subject to value-added tax.

  • orygoon

    I'm GLAD those people are super-twitchy. Be very afraid!

  • RadioJr.

    If they were Wiener flavor, I'm done….No electronic media of any sort….for the whole weekend…I mean it this time…
    BTW, there is also a Screamin' Dill Pickle flavor….don't ask me how I know this….

    • NYNYNYjr

      Screaming Dill Wiener and Clam Sauce Flavor.

  • Peace in our time

    Maybe they were worried about wifi cantennas.

  • Toomush_Infer

    I dunno- Pringles always scare me….how do they do that? …and could we fit all the Bilderbergers in the same way?…

  • proudgrampa

    OK. Look. I just spent some time at the David Icke site. NO mention of Bilderberg in St. Moritz. Didn't happen. Maybe the reptilians are meeting, but it ain't in Switzerland.

  • Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum

    OMG, Ted Stevens was right! The internet is just a series of tubes.

  • BlueStateLibel

    It's good at least to see the rich corrupt plutocrats getting jumpy and nervous…

  • Walkinwiddaking

    Mmmm…Pringles.

  • flamingpdog

    More like the tubular bells that Paul Revere rang when he was warning the British.

  • ttommyunger

    I'd be scared if the wind blew if I was a fat cat today. So many poors, so many guns…Got to be hard on the digestion.

  • MiniMencken

    St. Moritz in June? Nobody goes there in June.

  • mumbly_joe

    Wait, isn't Build-a-Burger the name of that restaurant in Times Square? I'm so confused.

  • Negropolis

    Mmmm….build-a-burger. Sounds…delicious.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    obviously trying to blow up the Bilders with high-cholesteral Pringles, may take a long time…

  • An_Outhouse

    Th two guys were guilty of not being bazillionaires. They were gross, creepy millionaires tooling around in a beamer. A beamer! Can you imagine? Yuck!!