The annual super secret scary capitalist meeting of the Bilderbergs is underway in St. Moritz, Switzerland, with all the usual vintage cronies like Kissinger and Rockefeller and the Goldman Sachs chairman and their European villain equivalents. OR IS IT? Two mysterious heroes for democracy attempted to either have a snack or, if you look at it another way, were trying to bomb the meeting with a can of Pringles, which police seized along with the two men.
Charlie Skelton of the Guardian reports:
Just when you thought the annual four-day Bilderberg conference couldn’t get any more exciting, a policeman goes and finds a bomb. Or at least, he went and found a “tubular device” that at certain angles, if you squinted a bit, looked sort of like a bomb. By that well known bomb manufacturer — Pringles.
All of a sudden the shout went up, out came the handcuffs, and two men (that nobody recognized) were bustled into custody. We’re still trying to find out who they were or what they’re charged with.
This is a good news day for a reporter stuck “covering” Bilderberg. This is the only thing that reporters have to talk about at Bilderberg, since they are otherwise banned from getting close to the hotel where the meeting happens and have to just stand outside reporting on the weather. It’s raining! Probably. It always rains when villains come together to plot.
Are they all villains? Charlie Rose is attending this year. What? We were kind of hoping he was still one of the good guys. The heads of Google, Amazon and one of the co-founders of Facebook are attending this year also, probably because one of the themes is “Social Networks: Connectivity and Security.” We look forward to some “security changes” over at Facebook when the meeting is done. [The Guardian/ Bilderberg Official Site]
{ 162 comments }
Gives new meaning to the term "cholesterol bomb".
Isn't that the place where you can pay too much money to make your own teddy bears?
evil teddy bears. like Teddy Ruxpin.
No, we said those Pringles are like a FAT BOMB.
The junk food nazis are alive and well living in Switzerland.
Switzerland has long been known for hoarding NAZI junk food.
Reminds me of a story I heard from a close relative, who was in London in the mid-90s. He or a friend had gotten a sandwich, that turned out to be entirely unpalatable, so they left it & the brown lunch-sack in which it came on the Tube. The rest of the day, they were hoping to see news of the London Subway shut down over a possible IRA bomb — that would turn out to be English food unfit for American taste-buds.
English food is unfit for English taste-buds.
How do you think they stay so thin?
(Looking at you,
Kate MiddletonDuchess Catherine of Cambridge. (No, seriously, I am. I'm outside your window with a periscope.))English food is far more dangerous than your average IRA bomb.
I had a fast-food pizza over in London. It was an abomination onto the Lord. They shouldn't even be allowed to call in pizza. I mean, it was ten times worse than Little Caesar's.
The Boston Police Department could give them lessons on how to panic when encountering something that is obviously not a bomb.
1.31.07 Never Forget.
First they came for the Pringles,
and I didn't speak out because I didn't want Pringles.
Then they came for the Doritos,
and I didn't speak out because I didn't want Doritos.
Then they came for the Lays Chips,
and I didn't speak out because I didn't want Lays Chips.
Then I had to go to the store
because there was nothing left to eat.
*sniff* that's so poignant. Never again! Never. Again.
Bigot! Where are the Cheetos? They'd disappear long before the Pringles, at least at my house. Pringles are reconstituted potato-like substances, salted and formed into "chips." Cheetos are probably pure industrial waste garnished with salt, but taste much better. The orange fingers are just collateral damage.
Junior, junior: how many times we gotta say it? ALT-TEXT, baby. It's the cherry on the sundae.
It's the hydrolyzed protein on the Pringles
The happy ending to the massage.
A "tweet" from your congressman.
It's the anus in the anus burger.
Is finding the actual anus in your anus burger like finding the baby in your king cake?
Better!
Waiter, I'd like to complain: this is clearly a cloaca!
Wonketteers have been sending me to the online dictionary this week. Thanks for the ejumacation.
Weekend begins… NOW!
Remind me, do wingnuts consider the Bilderbergs the Illuminati or the Elders of Zion?
You can wind some lefties up talking about the Biderbergers, too.
"Whyyyy, I oughta…"
Yes.
All of them, plus the Mafia, the Yakuza and the Triads!
You know who else liked his pringles in Switzerland?
I was about to say Hitler, but he stayed out of Switzerland for fear of the pringles.
Heidi and the NY Jets?
When I clicked your link, I was expecting to see something something truly filthy. I've been hanging out here far too long.
You were just confusing it with Debbie and the Dallas Cowboys.
If you were watching the game it was a major obscenity.
Buh, buh, buh, Benny and the Jets?
William Tell?
The Lone Ranger?
William Burroughs?
Ulrich Zwingli?
Joke all you want, you're still going to hell.
Der schweize Bube?
Non. Mon enfant suisse?
Otzi?
Frederic Henry?
EDIT:
Troll down fisted me for that one. Who'da thunk Troll doesn't know Ernest Hemingway huh?
Troll downfists everything. It doesn't stop to read, might learn something.
So, Fred Henry, as in "Goodbye, Arms" bomb?
Yeppers. Ernie was great.
I thought that took place in the Italian Alps. But then again I haven't finished the book yet; I put it down for a couple weeks every time that touchy-feely Italian surgeon roommate creeps me out. Which is often.
NAZI gold? (Glenn Beck?)
Uncle Fester?
Heidi Klum?
Simon Ammann?
Swiss Miss Instant Cocoa with mini marshmallows
Baron Von Richthofen?
Charlie Chaplin?
Heidi? (Really? I'm the first one with that? Seems clear.)
Jason Bourne who used a can to kill the bad guys.
John Calvin? Pringles are sacramental in Calvinist churches.
Karl Jung?
Are the Koch boys there with the rest of their secret cabal?
For a true cabal they would need to invite " the Queen, The Vatican, The Gettys, The Rothschilds, *and* Colonel Sanders before he went tits up"
Downfister probably doesn't even know where Switzerland is, unless he came out of his mom's basement once to scrounge for more Cheetos and accidentally went there somehow.
So downfister is Dubya, who used to confuse Sweden with Switzerland, and also used to choke on Pretzels.
But I'm sure downfisty has seen the bottom of a few cans of Pringles before.
and now it all makes sense
But I'm sure downfisty has had a few cans of Pringles up his bottom before.
/fixed
Perfect launch for the gerbils.
It was the fat free potato chips with Olestra. BOOM!
St. Moritz – come for the crypto-fascist fun, stay for the anal leakage!
That would be the bomb that is appropriate for this crowd.
Roman Polanski?
Actually, that was a California Hot tub, which is why he is in Switzerland.
St. Moritz? I thought Galt's Gulch was in Colorado.
I thought Ayn Rand possessed Galt's Gulch.
Were they at least chocolate covered Pringles?
Mmmmmmm…….
Stand Clear! BZZZZZT!!!
High powered explosives later determined to be Poprocks.
Perhaps they were memorializing the death of their fellow terrorist: http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,…
David Rockefeller is still alive. Will wonders never cease?
Mebbe he has Dick Cheney's heart.
the banality of evil.
There's commenter on Breitbart who bills herself as Eileen for Freedom. She is obsessed with the Bilderbergs. If I wasn't banned for life over there for making too many Anus and Andy jokes, I'd point her to this article.
Wonder what happened to you at AB. I did your job for you(linked it on1 of her comments).while I agree with about 30% of what she is sayin the rest is straight batsh!t Alex Jones style.
Is that why your pee occ. comes close to reaching yelloish-green? If Breitbart refuses to downfist you, who are you?
Your 3 digit negative p is in peril!
Once they pop, you can't stop.
If she smokes, she pokes.
If her hair's dyed blue, she's bound to screw.
Kissinger. The gift that keeps on giving. Like herpes.
Or real bombs.
Euphemistically, "undetonated ordnance".
He was the John Bolton of his day. Minus the 'stache and the goy.
Plus, most people believed Henry K to be highly intelligent, farsighted, reasonable, even thoughtful. All very helpful if you want their collusion for committing your war crimes.
I'm pretty sure no one would make that mistake with ol' Walrus-Face.
You know how deadly pototo ordnance delivery technology systems have gotten in the last 3 years?!?! It's fucking scary people. I understand the precautions.
http://www.wikihow.com/Build-a-Potato-Launcher
Please send Dick Cheney one so he can shoot Dan Quayle in the face for us.
I know whenever I eat Pringles, I have an explosion about an hour or so later.
I always knew that Julius Pringles (mustached logo) was a muslin!
I never bought his babershop quartet look. He's a nefarious fellow.
I don't trust any swarthy Eye-tai, nor their Organ-grinding Monkeys.
I like you horsedreamer_1. We can hang out and bash degos till the cows come.
Which reminds me:
Did you hear of the new tires Ferrari invented?
Dego fast
Dego slow
and when Dego go flat Dego Wop Wop Wop.
I have the benefit of being one. All my back & chest hair proves it.
At least, when my head is thinned out for hair, I can get more realistic plugs — my own — than Wayne Rooney.
Picking on my paisani? What did we ever do to you? Isn't sending the Jersey Shore crew to Florence not enough punishment???
All of a sudden the shout went up, out came the handcuffs, and two men (that nobody recognized) were bustled into custody. We’re still trying to find out who they were or what they’re charged with.
Too late, those men have already been sent to secret
CIAGoldman Sachs Torture Prisons™. You'll never hear from them again.~
DId Opie and Anthony show up for work today?
That was a close call — the Bilderbergers would've been horrified to find out that a product available at a convenience store came within a few hundred feet of the pate de fois gras and the truffled arugula salad with gorgonzola. I mean, you hear about incidents like this happening, but you never really know the full impact until it almost happens to you.
Ever tried called Cambozola? It is a combination of a French soft-ripened triple cream cheese and Gorgonzola that is weapons-grade tasty. Just don't tell your cardiologist.
Camembert and Gorgonzola, or so I saw it described on a cooking show this past weekend. Apparently it's all the rage, but I haven't tried it yet.
I think Jose Andres introduced me to it(not personally of course- I am not yet that important in the Washington scheme of things)
i thought the pate was made form the livers of war orphans…
Pate made from the liver of Breitbart gives you a bigger buzz, but makes you more disagreeable.
In St Moritz, all references to Pringles are to Scottish knitwear. Reconstituted potato chips are no-no's.
It was a ruse. The experts missed the real bomb, encased in an Oscar Meyer Lunchable.
Based upon this, I have a feeling that Sarah Palin's bus is full of explosives.
Bugle-Bombs? I see her brood eating a lot of bugles; they are the grossest thing I can imagine. And marshmallow peanuts, and candy corn.
Ringing the Taco Bells, telling Michelle Obama they aren't going to accept her fascism at a fork's edge.
Ringing those taco bells, and firing those warning farts.
Accidental downfist, when anyone who's anyone would upfist this comment.
Don't forget about the glorified cow patties we serve down here in Dixieland.
They have weapons grade funyuns, and must be stopped!
Cue the Imperial March.
Jesus, Riley isn't even gone a month and look what happens.
Well, that's what you get for not using Aqua Teen Hunger Force for your security needs.
This sounds more like a job for ISIS and Sterling Archer
As long as Cheryl/Carol is in, I'm good with it.
Ha ha, Bilderberger journo-whores have nothing to cover. It's not like they were State Department journo-whores, or the pitiful souls consigned to rewrite NASA press releases in a vain attempt to make them interesting. Or a CNN "reporter" "covering the story" about Libya while sitting in London. Or for that matter the contentious douche bags of the White House press corps, struggling every day to extract news at an event purposely designed to be news-free. How can they do that every day, and still have time to worry about whose chair is closer to the lectern?
Everything Pops With Pringles!™
Were they the Fat Free Pringles made with Olean®? Those have made my ass explode on more than one occasion.
I could only eat one of those things- they make your mouth feel like it is coated with a thick layer of dried grease. I like my grease fluid- like you get from real potato chips!
Isn't Bilderberger Bergerbilder that mean guy who cancelled Christmas?
Wonkettes, Jr: speculation:
1) Proof that there can be only (more than) one: no alt text on the pic for this post.
2) One of them is Barb: because where is Barb?
3) …
~
And let's not forget Extem. The pedobear and jr. have not been seen together.
Eh, she just found a life is all.
I think she was in Vegas this week.
Pringles is currently running a promotion where you can get some kind of speaker to stick in your Pringles can…
http://www.pringles.com/current-promotions
…which can obviously be rejiggered as a triggering device. Why does P&G hate Global Oligarchy, when it is All That?
One word: Satan!
~
Texe Marrs sounds like a fake name. it's an anagram of Rat REM Sex. i think this means he takes the form of a Rat to impregnate women in their sleep with the spawn of Satan.
Alls I can say is: THANK GOD FOR FRIDAY! I'm gonna make a big campfire, burn some burgers, drink mass quantities of German beer, and eat REAL POTATO CHIPS.
pringles burrito?
LONDON (AP) — Britain's High Court has ruled that Pringles are not a potato snack, and thus are not subject to value-added tax.
I'm GLAD those people are super-twitchy. Be very afraid!
If they were Wiener flavor, I'm done….No electronic media of any sort….for the whole weekend…I mean it this time…
BTW, there is also a Screamin' Dill Pickle flavor….don't ask me how I know this….
Screaming Dill Wiener and Clam Sauce Flavor.
Maybe they were worried about wifi cantennas.
I dunno- Pringles always scare me….how do they do that? …and could we fit all the Bilderbergers in the same way?…
OK. Look. I just spent some time at the David Icke site. NO mention of Bilderberg in St. Moritz. Didn't happen. Maybe the reptilians are meeting, but it ain't in Switzerland.
OMG, Ted Stevens was right! The internet is just a series of tubes.
It's good at least to see the rich corrupt plutocrats getting jumpy and nervous…
Mmmm…Pringles.
More like the tubular bells that Paul Revere rang when he was warning the British.
I'd be scared if the wind blew if I was a fat cat today. So many poors, so many guns…Got to be hard on the digestion.
St. Moritz in June? Nobody goes there in June.
Wait, isn't Build-a-Burger the name of that restaurant in Times Square? I'm so confused.
Mmmm….build-a-burger. Sounds…delicious.
obviously trying to blow up the Bilders with high-cholesteral Pringles, may take a long time…
Th two guys were guilty of not being bazillionaires. They were gross, creepy millionaires tooling around in a beamer. A beamer! Can you imagine? Yuck!!
Ohhh com'on
As my pappy was fond of saying while he bounced me on his knee. "Baconz, if you can't laugh at a crippled italian midget what can you laugh at?"
* sob * That's touching. I want that on a needlepoint sampler.
Ha. You're right. "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" would not be the same without Danny DeVito…
upfisted for your snarking pleasure.
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