old world order

Can of Pringles Causes Bomb Scare At Bilderberg Meeting In Switzerland

The annual super secret scary capitalist meeting of the Bilderbergs is underway in St. Moritz, Switzerland, with all the usual vintage cronies like Kissinger and Rockefeller and the Goldman Sachs chairman and their European villain equivalents. OR IS IT? Two mysterious heroes for democracy attempted to either have a snack or, if you look at it another way, were trying to bomb the meeting with a can of Pringles, which police seized along with the two men.

Charlie Skelton of the Guardian reports:

Just when you thought the annual four-day Bilderberg conference couldn’t get any more exciting, a policeman goes and finds a bomb. Or at least, he went and found a “tubular device” that at certain angles, if you squinted a bit, looked sort of like a bomb. By that well known bomb manufacturer — Pringles.

All of a sudden the shout went up, out came the handcuffs, and two men (that nobody recognized) were bustled into custody. We’re still trying to find out who they were or what they’re charged with.

This is a good news day for a reporter stuck “covering” Bilderberg. This is the only thing that reporters have to talk about at Bilderberg, since they are otherwise banned from getting close to the hotel where the meeting happens and have to just stand outside reporting on the weather. It’s raining! Probably. It always rains when villains come together to plot.

Are they all villains? Charlie Rose is attending this year. What? We were kind of hoping he was still one of the good guys. The heads of Google, Amazon and one of the co-founders of Facebook are attending this year also, probably because one of the themes is “Social Networks: Connectivity and Security.”  We look forward to some “security changes” over at Facebook when the meeting is done. [The Guardian/ Bilderberg Official Site]

About the author

Wonkette Jr., everybody! Hooray!

View all articles by Wonkette Jr.
What Others Are Reading

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


  1. horsedreamer_1

    Reminds me of a story I heard from a close relative, who was in London in the mid-90s. He or a friend had gotten a sandwich, that turned out to be entirely unpalatable, so they left it & the brown lunch-sack in which it came on the Tube. The rest of the day, they were hoping to see news of the London Subway shut down over a possible IRA bomb — that would turn out to be English food unfit for American taste-buds.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        How do you think they stay so thin?

        (Looking at you, Kate Middleton Duchess Catherine of Cambridge. (No, seriously, I am. I'm outside your window with a periscope.))

      2. Negropolis

        I had a fast-food pizza over in London. It was an abomination onto the Lord. They shouldn't even be allowed to call in pizza. I mean, it was ten times worse than Little Caesar's.

  2. ManchuCandidate

    First they came for the Pringles,
    and I didn't speak out because I didn't want Pringles.

    Then they came for the Doritos,
    and I didn't speak out because I didn't want Doritos.

    Then they came for the Lays Chips,
    and I didn't speak out because I didn't want Lays Chips.

    Then I had to go to the store
    because there was nothing left to eat.

    1. V572 [SSAN]

      Bigot! Where are the Cheetos? They'd disappear long before the Pringles, at least at my house. Pringles are reconstituted potato-like substances, salted and formed into "chips." Cheetos are probably pure industrial waste garnished with salt, but taste much better. The orange fingers are just collateral damage.

  3. emmelemm

    Junior, junior: how many times we gotta say it? ALT-TEXT, baby. It's the cherry on the sundae.

      1. emmelemm

        Is finding the actual anus in your anus burger like finding the baby in your king cake?

        1. RavenRant

          Wonketteers have been sending me to the online dictionary this week. Thanks for the ejumacation.

          Weekend begins… NOW!

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        When I clicked your link, I was expecting to see something something truly filthy. I've been hanging out here far too long.

      1. baconzgood

        Frederic Henry?

        Troll down fisted me for that one. Who'da thunk Troll doesn't know Ernest Hemingway huh?

        1. Geminisunmars

          Troll downfists everything. It doesn't stop to read, might learn something.

          So, Fred Henry, as in "Goodbye, Arms" bomb?

          1. Lascauxcaveman

            I thought that took place in the Italian Alps. But then again I haven't finished the book yet; I put it down for a couple weeks every time that touchy-feely Italian surgeon roommate creeps me out. Which is often.

  4. Goonemeritus

    For a true cabal they would need to invite " the Queen, The Vatican, The Gettys, The Rothschilds, *and* Colonel Sanders before he went tits up"

  5. CrunchyKnee

    Downfister probably doesn't even know where Switzerland is, unless he came out of his mom's basement once to scrounge for more Cheetos and accidentally went there somehow.


      So downfister is Dubya, who used to confuse Sweden with Switzerland, and also used to choke on Pretzels.

      1. flamingpdog

        But I'm sure downfisty has had a few cans of Pringles up his bottom before.

    1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Actually, that was a California Hot tub, which is why he is in Switzerland.

  6. metamarcisf

    There's commenter on Breitbart who bills herself as Eileen for Freedom. She is obsessed with the Bilderbergs. If I wasn't banned for life over there for making too many Anus and Andy jokes, I'd point her to this article.

    1. ragnarok4msm

      Wonder what happened to you at AB. I did your job for you(linked it on1 of her comments).while I agree with about 30% of what she is sayin the rest is straight batsh!t Alex Jones style.

    2. Nothingisamiss

      Is that why your pee occ. comes close to reaching yelloish-green? If Breitbart refuses to downfist you, who are you?

          1. Lascauxcaveman

            Plus, most people believed Henry K to be highly intelligent, farsighted, reasonable, even thoughtful. All very helpful if you want their collusion for committing your war crimes.

            I'm pretty sure no one would make that mistake with ol' Walrus-Face.

  7. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I know whenever I eat Pringles, I have an explosion about an hour or so later.

        1. baconzgood

          Which reminds me:

          Did you hear of the new tires Ferrari invented?
          Dego fast
          Dego slow
          and when Dego go flat Dego Wop Wop Wop.

          1. horsedreamer_1

            I have the benefit of being one. All my back & chest hair proves it.

            At least, when my head is thinned out for hair, I can get more realistic plugs — my own — than Wayne Rooney.

          2. baconzgood

            Ohhh com'on

            As my pappy was fond of saying while he bounced me on his knee. "Baconz, if you can't laugh at a crippled italian midget what can you laugh at?"

  8. ifthethunderdontgetya

    All of a sudden the shout went up, out came the handcuffs, and two men (that nobody recognized) were bustled into custody. We’re still trying to find out who they were or what they’re charged with.

    Too late, those men have already been sent to secret CIA Goldman Sachs Torture Prisons™. You'll never hear from them again.

  9. SayItWithWookies

    That was a close call — the Bilderbergers would've been horrified to find out that a product available at a convenience store came within a few hundred feet of the pate de fois gras and the truffled arugula salad with gorgonzola. I mean, you hear about incidents like this happening, but you never really know the full impact until it almost happens to you.

    1. V572 [SSAN]

      Ever tried called Cambozola? It is a combination of a French soft-ripened triple cream cheese and Gorgonzola that is weapons-grade tasty. Just don't tell your cardiologist.

      1. SayItWithWookies

        Camembert and Gorgonzola, or so I saw it described on a cooking show this past weekend. Apparently it's all the rage, but I haven't tried it yet.

      2. finallyhappy

        I think Jose Andres introduced me to it(not personally of course- I am not yet that important in the Washington scheme of things)

      1. flamingpdog

        Pate made from the liver of Breitbart gives you a bigger buzz, but makes you more disagreeable.

  10. charlesdegoal

    In St Moritz, all references to Pringles are to Scottish knitwear. Reconstituted potato chips are no-no's.

  11. Weenus299

    It was a ruse. The experts missed the real bomb, encased in an Oscar Meyer Lunchable.

  12. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Based upon this, I have a feeling that Sarah Palin's bus is full of explosives.

    1. prommie

      Bugle-Bombs? I see her brood eating a lot of bugles; they are the grossest thing I can imagine. And marshmallow peanuts, and candy corn.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        Ringing the Taco Bells, telling Michelle Obama they aren't going to accept her fascism at a fork's edge.

  13. OneYieldRegular

    Well, that's what you get for not using Aqua Teen Hunger Force for your security needs.

  14. V572 [SSAN]

    Ha ha, Bilderberger journo-whores have nothing to cover. It's not like they were State Department journo-whores, or the pitiful souls consigned to rewrite NASA press releases in a vain attempt to make them interesting. Or a CNN "reporter" "covering the story" about Libya while sitting in London. Or for that matter the contentious douche bags of the White House press corps, struggling every day to extract news at an event purposely designed to be news-free. How can they do that every day, and still have time to worry about whose chair is closer to the lectern?

    1. finallyhappy

      I could only eat one of those things- they make your mouth feel like it is coated with a thick layer of dried grease. I like my grease fluid- like you get from real potato chips!

      1. poncho_pilot

        Texe Marrs sounds like a fake name. it's an anagram of Rat REM Sex. i think this means he takes the form of a Rat to impregnate women in their sleep with the spawn of Satan.

  15. OneDollarJuana

    Alls I can say is: THANK GOD FOR FRIDAY! I'm gonna make a big campfire, burn some burgers, drink mass quantities of German beer, and eat REAL POTATO CHIPS.

  16. x111e7thst

    LONDON (AP) — Britain's High Court has ruled that Pringles are not a potato snack, and thus are not subject to value-added tax.

  17. RadioJr.

    If they were Wiener flavor, I'm done….No electronic media of any sort….for the whole weekend…I mean it this time…
    BTW, there is also a Screamin' Dill Pickle flavor….don't ask me how I know this….

  18. Toomush_Infer

    I dunno- Pringles always scare me….how do they do that? …and could we fit all the Bilderbergers in the same way?…

  19. proudgrampa

    OK. Look. I just spent some time at the David Icke site. NO mention of Bilderberg in St. Moritz. Didn't happen. Maybe the reptilians are meeting, but it ain't in Switzerland.

  20. Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum

    OMG, Ted Stevens was right! The internet is just a series of tubes.

  21. BlueStateLibel

    It's good at least to see the rich corrupt plutocrats getting jumpy and nervous…

  22. flamingpdog

    More like the tubular bells that Paul Revere rang when he was warning the British.

  23. ttommyunger

    I'd be scared if the wind blew if I was a fat cat today. So many poors, so many guns…Got to be hard on the digestion.

  24. mumbly_joe

    Wait, isn't Build-a-Burger the name of that restaurant in Times Square? I'm so confused.

  25. An_Outhouse

    Th two guys were guilty of not being bazillionaires. They were gross, creepy millionaires tooling around in a beamer. A beamer! Can you imagine? Yuck!!

Comments are closed.