Of Course Sarah Palin Made A Bus Tour Video To Ask For Cash

by Wonkette Jr.

Sarah Palin made a dumb campaign video called “American Foundations” about her bus tour, even though she says she was not on a campaign tour. But the video ends with a title card for her PAC, so it is pretty much a video campaigning for money for Sarah Palin. The edit is a mix of her soundbites, audio from news clips of tour coverage and a few soundbites from old white people, which as we know are each crucial “American Foundations.” Sarah Palin told you how great America is and showed you pictures of herself in famous places, and now that will be a million dollars, please. This is why God made America, so Sarah Palin could make a commercial of herself talking about it. Video after the jump:

“As we go along looking at the historical sites, we’re highlighting what it is that built America, our strong foundation, in order to move forward.” Is she sure about that? Ellis Island, a place she visited, was full of immigrants who “maybe built some things in America” at one time, up until the housing crash. Does she suddenly love immigrants now? No, because she has no idea what she is saying, as usual. She just uses the backdrop of American history to teach us nothing about history but remind us that Sarah Palin exists, give her money. [YouTube via Salon]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 277 comments }

Lucidamente1 June 10, 2011 at 9:47 am

You know she's not gonna sit still after it came out that Gingrich spent half a mil at Tiffany's and went on a Greek cruise (insert joke here) while his (former) staff was sweating it out in Iowa.

Mahousu June 10, 2011 at 10:15 am

She's riding a bus; he's riding a cruise ship. Neither of them is going anywhere, but who is enjoying the trip more?

riverside68 June 10, 2011 at 10:25 am

Callista

zhubajie June 11, 2011 at 9:17 am

But she has to put up with Newt. :-(

riverside68 June 10, 2011 at 10:24 am

At least he had a staff, a small indicia of a grasp of actual political campaigning, as opposed to grifting.

Goonemeritus June 10, 2011 at 9:49 am

She serves as a kind of blotter paper to soak up the extra cash of the stupid.
Without this vital service God knows what trouble they would get into.

Tundra Grifter June 10, 2011 at 1:07 pm

One think she learned from What-the-L Michele – ask for money every time you turn around.

Mort_Sinclair June 10, 2011 at 9:49 am

Sit and spin, you snowbilly grifter hag.

DerrickWildcat June 10, 2011 at 9:50 am

Paul Revere was just riding around doing a fund raiser for TheBrittishAreComingPAC.

horsedreamer_1 June 10, 2011 at 10:01 am

& that PAC grew up to be… Private Video.

&, now, you know — "The Rest of the Story".

riverside68 June 10, 2011 at 10:26 am

USA! USA! USA!!!!

BaldarTFlagass June 10, 2011 at 9:51 am

Her staff needs to get a new video editing machine, the one they used on that clip is all fucked up.

bagofmice June 10, 2011 at 9:51 am

You have to appreciate the palin level of effort expended upon the alt-text.

gef05 June 10, 2011 at 10:22 am

meh. If it was a Palin effort, the alt-text would read:

pal

riverside68 June 10, 2011 at 10:27 am

me 1,254,856,350,344

PsycWench June 10, 2011 at 10:43 am

Not "click here to donate"?

Fare la Volpe June 10, 2011 at 11:01 am

"GIF MONIES NAO"

horsedreamer_1 June 10, 2011 at 4:01 pm

That last word sounds Chinese.

Manchurian Grifter?

genxr June 10, 2011 at 11:13 am

It's no "T" but it'll do.

Sue4466 June 10, 2011 at 9:51 am

Whoever coined "snowbilly grifter" completely captured Palin's life and ethos. And she confirms it over and over and over again. Also. Too.

L188188 June 10, 2011 at 12:16 pm

It was probably Gryphen from "Immoral Minority"… I see a lot of his usages on this site whenever there is a Palin story.

donner_froh June 10, 2011 at 9:51 am

If there was a Nobel Prize for grifting, Sarah Palin would win every year.

Terry June 10, 2011 at 11:28 am

I really think that she and Trump should be the GOP ticket.

Tundra Grifter June 10, 2011 at 1:08 pm

Already got it.

meufchelou June 10, 2011 at 9:51 am

"America's exceptionalism" is lending credence to someone who sees America's foundations in a clambake.

prommie June 10, 2011 at 9:52 am

I saw a doughboy! Thats not something you see every day!

Trollina Dumbass June 10, 2011 at 9:56 am

Although there are plenty of doughy-people at Sarah Lou events.

trampndirtdown June 10, 2011 at 10:08 am

Yeah that was cool. Did you see the WWI soldier as well?

PuckStopsHere June 10, 2011 at 10:21 am

You only saw it 'cause of $arah. So do the right thing and send her some ca$h, tightass.

WABishop June 10, 2011 at 9:53 am

She's living the American dream, where anyone can be successful, without regard to the vacuousness of their words or the emptiness of their soul.

Serolf_Divad June 10, 2011 at 10:03 am

Sarah Palin, the middle-aged Paris Hilton of politics.

gef05 June 10, 2011 at 10:23 am

Oh I like this.

OneDollarJuana June 10, 2011 at 10:27 am

Except that Ms. Hilton is doing something useful with her life: she is sponsoring a Moto 125 motorcycle racing team. This is a truly noble pursuit, unlike snowmachine racing.

AJWjr. June 10, 2011 at 5:11 pm

That fact makes her slightly more awesome, if that's at all possible.

OneDollarJuana June 10, 2011 at 10:55 pm

Let's hope she keeps it up with Moto3.

BaldarTFlagass June 10, 2011 at 9:54 am

Too bad they didn't include the shot of the bus with the "media whore" tag taped on the side.

CapeClod June 10, 2011 at 9:55 am

I'm sure that Ken Burns is going to be furiously jealous at her skills as a documentarian.

GunToting[Redacted] June 10, 2011 at 10:46 am

Monty Burns, however, is tenting his fingers and exclaiming "Excellent."

Clancy_Pants June 10, 2011 at 9:55 am

I'll wait for the Taiwanese NMAWorld version.

RedneckMuslin June 10, 2011 at 9:55 am

This bus hasn't hit an IED yet? People aren't as militant as in the 60s Ah, the good old days.

zhubajie June 11, 2011 at 9:20 am

Sarah Palin IS an IED!

tessiee June 11, 2011 at 10:42 pm

Given the way that the women in that family drop babbys to the left and right, they…
Oh.
An I *E* D.
Never mind.

elviouslyqueer June 10, 2011 at 9:55 am

So, after 3:17 I can honestly say that Sarah is still completely full of shit. I would now like that 3:17 of my life back, plz.

CapeClod June 10, 2011 at 9:58 am

Sorry, anything given to this low rent huckster gets immedietly spent.

Fare la Volpe June 10, 2011 at 11:04 am

John 3:17
"And the Lord spake 'Jesus Christ, shut up already!'"

LiveToServeYa June 10, 2011 at 9:55 am

I love the smell of the emissions of a grifter in the morning. Smells like … despair.

DerrickWildcat June 10, 2011 at 9:55 am

Stupid community organizers.

prommie June 10, 2011 at 9:56 am

You know, she actually quit her vacation early, to take a vacation from vacationing. Had to do some grifting, before gettting back to the vacationing.

donner_froh June 10, 2011 at 9:56 am

Sarah Palin speaking words is yet another proof that a merciful god doesn't exist. Her normal voice sounds like an F-15 winding up before take-off. When she is angry or confused it approaches bat sonar range.

riverside68 June 10, 2011 at 10:32 am

Does that mean I can't hear her when she is angry or confused? Maybe I should turn on the tv and check it out.

All those years of rock festivals may pay off yet.

ChessieNefercat June 10, 2011 at 11:11 am

"When she is angry or confused it approaches bat sonar range. "

Ah ha! Mystery solved!
"Little Brown Bats Could Disappear In The Northeast What's killing them? Is it this fungus we see on the bats, the white-nose syndrome? Or is that just a symptom of some deeper problem? " http://tinyurl.com/3r2qsqe

Poor bats.

poncho_pilot June 10, 2011 at 1:11 pm

what about bat guano?

Angry_Marmot June 10, 2011 at 3:26 pm

He's being vetted (Colonel "Bat" Guano, USAF, ret.) as a vice-presidential candidate.

poncho_pilot June 10, 2011 at 3:37 pm

we're all going to have to answer to the Coca-Cola Co. now.

AJWjr. June 10, 2011 at 5:22 pm

The faucet ran dry.

brommbaer June 10, 2011 at 3:42 pm

Oh, come on. Is she any worse, voice-wise, than the normal US lady?
I lived in the US for five years, and I think the US ladies are lovely when the sound is switched off. I thought that US men got immunized through listening to their moms.

AJWjr. June 10, 2011 at 5:23 pm

Depends on your native tongue, I suppose, but I still haven't figured out her native tongue yet.

HobbesEvilTwin June 10, 2011 at 9:57 am

I refuse to watch that video. Of course, I don't have to because the media that hates Palin so much will play the damn thing 24/7 for the next three news cycles.

Damn librul media

BaldarTFlagass June 10, 2011 at 9:57 am

The screen shot on the unplayed youtube above, with the WWI veterans: Is that a pregnant 14 year old in the foreground?

LesBontemps June 10, 2011 at 10:09 am

Nah, that's only boo-shield Piper, 11. But 17-y-o Willow is conspicuous by her absence from this tour; if the rumors last year were true, she should be due about now.

Native_of_SL_UT June 10, 2011 at 11:09 am

Wait, what? Piper's pregnant now?
When will she be on Dancing With the Stars then?

L188188 June 10, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Willow was driving in a local "celebrity" car race in Wasilla the other day – looks remarkably devoid of child, an unusual state for these white-trash litter-bearers.

CalamityJames June 10, 2011 at 1:11 pm

To be fair, Miss Snow Trash herself didn't seem to be showing too terribly much when she gave birth to her flat-faced grandson. Just sayin'.

OneDollarJuana June 10, 2011 at 10:14 am

Or the beginnings of the protruding belly of the chronically malnourished. Lou Sarah's constituency.

NorthStarSpanx June 13, 2011 at 1:32 pm

Piper looks a little kwashiorkor'd @ 1:29 – works well into Sarah's upcoming Sudan trip.

DaRooster June 10, 2011 at 9:58 am

"Even the bus has 'We the People' on it…"

Wowee Zowee… whoopee twang. That's not news… its plastic graphics… what an American she is- Gaudy, tacky and over-voiced.

OneDollarJuana June 10, 2011 at 10:15 am

I bet it has "That the Birdshit" on it, too.

ChessieNefercat June 10, 2011 at 12:05 pm

"whoopee twang"

Wow, this is so cool. I have never seen that phrase anywhere except for in a novel written in the late 70s about a cursed mirror and time travel. When the heroine used the term while trapped in the late 1800s, it confused the people around her. For some odd reason, one of my favorite books.

Anyway, memories, a pleasant break from Palin 's idiocy.

fuflans June 10, 2011 at 4:52 pm

wow what is that book? that sounds like exactly the sort of antidote to the political summer season.

ChessieNefercat June 10, 2011 at 6:43 pm

Okay, I rushed upstairs to find it…
"The Mirror" by Marlys Millhiser c.1978 (whoopee-twang p.21)

It is, now that you mention it, a good summer read. Enjoy.

Pragmatist2 June 10, 2011 at 9:59 am

When I look at this, my first thought is "What will the title it when they make a porn version?" I am going with "American F***dations"

riverside68 June 10, 2011 at 10:35 am

Anal CXXXII

horsedreamer_1 June 10, 2011 at 10:40 am

No, classier. No eff-word. American Poundings.

riverside68 June 10, 2011 at 10:52 am

Pounding America's Foundations?

Fare la Volpe June 10, 2011 at 11:41 am

American Fellations.

tessiee June 11, 2011 at 11:05 pm

Ass Bus.

Dr_pangloss June 10, 2011 at 9:59 am

Sarah Palin hijacks a bus shouting, shooting guns and ringing bells heading to Washington to take over that bad place that she wants to be in control of so bad to raid the British and warn them that they'd better be handing over their gold and whorediamonds while the lame stream media follows close behind to recored every word of wisdom from the hawkey mom and successful half term govenor of Alaska. Sarah Palin.

Palin/Jesus 2012. Send me your money.

BaldarTFlagass June 10, 2011 at 10:01 am

Bumpus Family Vacation film!

(sorry, way too obscure, unless you've read your Jean Shepherd)

BaldarTFlagass June 10, 2011 at 10:15 am

Never heard him, but when I was a kid my dad would turn me on to the short stories he wrote about his youth that were published in Playboy. That shit cracked me up.

LesBontemps June 10, 2011 at 10:50 am

I grew up listening to Shep on WOR; I still hear Bahn Frei in my head every time he's mentioned.

tessiee June 11, 2011 at 11:07 pm

Or seen that movie with the leg lamp.

Mort_Sinclair June 10, 2011 at 10:01 am

Ugh. I was able to tolerate about 50 seconds of that video. The soft underbelly of ignorant, racist Amurka walkin', talkin', and ridin' motorciccles juxtaposed with the historic kitsch of American history. Feel like I'm Alex in A Clockwork Orange.

BaldarTFlagass June 10, 2011 at 10:04 am

I feel more like Gregor Samsa in The Metamorphosis (sorry, I'm on vacation, no italics while on vacation).

OneDollarJuana June 10, 2011 at 10:16 am

Try Murine. Helps with the dry-eye.

Native_of_SL_UT June 10, 2011 at 11:11 am

Does this mean we have finally identified Wonkette, Jr as Dr Brodsky?

Fare la Volpe June 10, 2011 at 11:26 am

I feel like Winston being forced to say there are really five fingers. Anything to please Sister Sarah.

CapeClod June 10, 2011 at 10:01 am

I guess she did this because having books ghost written for you was too hard.

x111e7thst June 10, 2011 at 10:02 am

Needs more prayer. Or more meth. Maybe both.

tihond June 10, 2011 at 10:03 am

Of course she's going to ask for money, Piper's Gypsy wedding isn't going to pay for itself.

horsedreamer_1 June 10, 2011 at 10:04 am

Given Paul Ryan's budget, the Olds are foundational to the American Republican interest: the savings on the retirees's earlier death, after Medicare's gone away, will hasten the transfer of tax dollars to the wealthiest of the wealthiest, in the form of tax-cuts.

prommie June 10, 2011 at 11:40 am

Soylent Green is people!

DaSandman June 10, 2011 at 10:07 am

Watch as the money flies out of the old white racists pockets and their brains seep out of their ears.

And that's just the beginning, the movie should take them right over the cliff

OkieDokieDog June 10, 2011 at 10:09 am

I'm not watching that crap. She'll use the # of views to tell the FOX knuckleheads how Presidential she is. See! Merika loves me! Even though 97.5% or so of those views were from Wonketeers loling.

I'm beginning to think that maybe there is a God – all these Palins, T-Paw, Newt, Cantor, Boehner, Mittens, every GOP Governor, any politician from Okhelloma, they're all a plague of Frothy Lube sent to torment the life and/or holy hell out of us.

zhubajie June 11, 2011 at 9:27 am

Like the Plagues of Egypt!

weejee June 10, 2011 at 10:11 am

The American Foundation – the truss the Hoverounders pay for support. The grift that keeps on grifting.

elviouslyqueer June 10, 2011 at 10:12 am

Grifty Cuntbag on American nostalgic exceptionalism: "We need to remind all Americans what our foundations are."

Yes, Sarah, back in the good old days when rich white men ran everything, happy blacks picked cotton in the fields, gays and lesbians didn't exist, and women knew their position in life was to be barefoot, pregnant, and subservient.

elviouslyqueer June 10, 2011 at 10:17 am

Also, didn't any of the English instructors at your five colleges tell you not to end a sentence with a preposition, you vicious salmon-fucking skank?

ChessieNefercat June 10, 2011 at 11:22 am

So they swim upstream and kill themselves in an effort not to mate?

Poor salmon.

tessiee June 11, 2011 at 11:29 pm

"didn't any of the English instructors at your five colleges tell you not to end a sentence with a preposition"

That is the sort of thing up with which I will not put.

riverside68 June 10, 2011 at 10:43 am

You left out the part where white men could tune up any non-white male person they came across if they were feeling out of sorts, or feeling good about the day, or not feeling anything at all.

They didn't need no stinkin' anger management classes, when they got itchy they punched someone.

ChessieNefercat June 10, 2011 at 11:23 am

And don't forget what they could do to any non-white female they came across, for all the same reasons.

riverside68 June 10, 2011 at 11:26 am

non-straightwhitemale person

does that work better?

ChessieNefercat June 10, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Ah hyphens, tricky little critters. Sorry, I didn't read it the way you wrote it.

However, your new term really is a convenient summation for them, isn't it? Any of 'em, all of 'em, make you a non-realAmerican, right?

user-of-owls June 10, 2011 at 11:44 am

Or hang'em, if the moment seemed right.

tessiee June 11, 2011 at 11:36 pm

Or there wasn't anything good on stereopticon that night.

PsycWench June 10, 2011 at 10:47 am

women knew their position in life was to be barefoot, pregnant, and subservient
I'm constantly amazed at women who want to return to the good old days but magically think that they will still be able to practice law, own property and manage a business.

CrankyLttlCamperette June 10, 2011 at 10:56 am

Or, you know, vote.

riverside68 June 10, 2011 at 11:29 am

or have a say as to who came in them (or when or where)

Fare la Volpe June 10, 2011 at 11:35 am

Phyllis Schlafly was the Queen of that form of cognitive dissonance. The woman made more money, traveled to more places, and earned more degrees than her husband ever dreamed, but that didn't stop the bitch from brow-beating any woman who dared to step outside the maternity ward.

Oh, and just so she clearly identified herself as an irredeemable witch, she called for the impeachment of Justice Kennedy — and I wish I were kidding about this — because he voted to abolish the death penalty for minors.

mog253 June 10, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Ride a bus around the country speaking their (tiny) minds.

tessiee June 11, 2011 at 11:34 pm

"Yes, Sarah, back in the good old days when rich white men ran everything … and women knew their position in life was to be barefoot, pregnant, and subservient."

She'd probably be OK with the "barefoot and pregnant" part, but I don't think she'd like the "subservient" part, especially after the first time a man backhanded her across the chops and said, "Sit down and shut the fuck up, you mouthy bitch, before I kick your ass up around your ears".

*secretly enjoying the mental picture this creates*

PabaBritannica June 10, 2011 at 10:13 am

American Foundations? But where are the Bugles Corn Chips and Truck Nutz?

ChessieNefercat June 10, 2011 at 11:24 am

In the bus with Grampaw Chuckles.

John Birf Society June 10, 2011 at 10:13 am

Dear W Jr., Ellis Island immigrants were white. That's why they are hunky dory.

horsedreamer_1 June 10, 2011 at 10:42 am

Italians were often Sicilian, though. &, you know…

AJWjr. June 10, 2011 at 5:51 pm

So–Mario Bros., then?

DaSandman June 10, 2011 at 10:14 am

Wait, she keeps yammering about "foundations" in this horror movie trailer.

Does she mean her Spanx?

PsycWench June 10, 2011 at 10:49 am

"Foundations" was the word of the day on iDictionary when this was scripted.

ChessieNefercat June 10, 2011 at 11:25 am

She's proud of its three syllables.

GunToting[Redacted] June 10, 2011 at 10:57 am

I think it's the Spackle she trowels on her mug to keep the olds thinking that she's still attractive.

GOPCrusher June 10, 2011 at 1:39 pm

You betcha! * wink *

BaldarTFlagass June 10, 2011 at 10:14 am

There's not enough shots of Sarah, in this clip about America.

Respitetini June 10, 2011 at 10:16 am

Epic Palin stuff here, even by Our Wonkette's lofty standards. Distilled the whole Caribou Barbie phenomenon down to one phrase: "Sarah Palin exists, now give her money."

This author needs a promotion to being someone with a name.

TanzbodenKoenig June 10, 2011 at 10:16 am

From now on reporters should just end all their headlines on Sarah Palin with "for cash," it'll be like the new fortune cookie "in bed" game

prommie June 10, 2011 at 11:39 am

Thats what she said.

ManchuCandidate June 10, 2011 at 10:17 am

Seems to me that Sarah Palin is trying to tie herself to Arthurian legend. Instead of invoking the idea that "She is the land and the land is she", she brings out the memories of the Black Nearer "It's just a flesh wound" Knight and "let's not go to Camelot Wasilla… it's a silly place."

sussemilch June 10, 2011 at 10:17 am

Just like Paul Revere was an American Hero by warning the British, I'm going to help her campaign by donating to Democrats.

AJWjr. June 10, 2011 at 5:53 pm

I am a Democrat, so give me money.

OC_Surf_Serf June 10, 2011 at 10:19 am

We all know who else drove around in a bus looking for money…

LesBontemps June 10, 2011 at 10:23 am

Ken Kesey?

Pres[EXTERMINATE!!] June 10, 2011 at 10:31 am

The Beatles' Magical Mystery Tour?

BaldarTFlagass June 10, 2011 at 10:35 am

Otto Mann?

"I used to ride this bus. Now I drive it!!

mausgeo June 10, 2011 at 10:35 am

Followers of the Dead?

PuckStopsHere June 10, 2011 at 10:43 am

Rosa Parks?

horsedreamer_1 June 10, 2011 at 10:43 am

Jerome Bettis?

elviouslyqueer June 10, 2011 at 10:44 am
riverside68 June 10, 2011 at 10:45 am

Chinatown express

ThundercatHo June 10, 2011 at 10:51 am

The Partridge Family?

RadioJr. June 10, 2011 at 11:08 am

Jackson Browne

PuckStopsHere June 10, 2011 at 2:42 pm

The Charlestown Chiefs?

tessiee June 11, 2011 at 11:45 pm

17 long-haired friends of Jesus in a chartreuse microbus?

tihond June 10, 2011 at 10:19 am

BUS LIBEL!

DashboardBuddha June 10, 2011 at 10:20 am

One of my cats died suddenly and painfully yesterday so I'm sad and angry. I will now direct said sadness and anger onto this shrill disgusting cunt.

gef05 June 10, 2011 at 10:30 am

Sorry for your loss, Dashboard. The little furry ones are blessings.

elviouslyqueer June 10, 2011 at 10:33 am

Oh man, DB, that sucks. I've lost two furry friends this year, so I know how hard this is for you.

riverside68 June 10, 2011 at 10:59 am

Sorry about your loss

I'm pretty sure your kitty had a good time here, they kinda won the lottery when you came along.

Fare la Volpe June 10, 2011 at 11:17 am

I'm so sorry, DB.

My kitty of 17 years passed away just this March, so I feel your hurt. We placed a lock of his fur on my derby boat from scouting days, set it ablaze, and let it drift down the river near our house — a true Viking funeral. May my little furry one shepherd your little furry one to his/her grand resting place in Valhalla, where the rivers run free with mice and the walls are made of extra-shreddable couch cushion.

Stay strong <3

ChessieNefercat June 10, 2011 at 11:28 am

So sorry for your loss, kitties are special indeed.

jus_wonderin June 10, 2011 at 11:31 am

DB, so sorry. Anyone that diminishes the pain of this type of loss is a heel.

I have an 8 year old Doxie, Ripley (named after Ellen Ripley in Aliens). She is my furbaby (I have a daughter). I love that dog so much and have this underlying feeling that I am going to fall apart when I lose her.

She did get hit by a car (dumb bitch ran right in front of it). But, 6K fixed her right up. I call her the "Six Thousand Dollar Dog".

So sorry for you loss.

user-of-owls June 10, 2011 at 11:41 am

Ouch, that hurts. Sincere condolences Buddha and to the rest of the grieving kitties.

p.s. Cats have dignity and self-respect. As for dogs, just consider for a moment the whole concept of 'fetch.'

natoslug June 10, 2011 at 11:47 am

We have five dogs and one cat. When I think of dignity and self-respect in my furred friends, I consider for a moment which five I can frequently find celebrating the circle of life by eating each others' poop, and which one waits patiently by her food bowl, purring while making me walk over to pet her rather than coming to me.

user-of-owls June 10, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Bingo!

DashboardBuddha June 10, 2011 at 1:49 pm

The drink-upsetting figure 8s around the ankles are still my favorite.

tessiee June 11, 2011 at 11:48 pm

"purring while making me walk over to pet her rather than coming to me"

That, and sitting *just* outside your reach to be petted.

DashboardBuddha June 10, 2011 at 12:06 pm

Are you saying that Bristol is fetching?

DashboardBuddha June 10, 2011 at 11:46 am

You guys rock. I wasn't looking for an outpouring of sympathy…I just wanted to rip on that ridiculous harridan. Now I feel kind of bad, but good too seeing all of your kind words. It really helps with the grieving. Buddy was a lovable knucklehead and I didn't have him long enough.

Sarah is still a shrieking harpy, though.

user-of-owls June 10, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Rage on, friend, rage on.

Buckminster June 10, 2011 at 1:09 pm

So sorry about your cat! They really are precious.

poncho_pilot June 10, 2011 at 1:35 pm

my condolences. it's harder to deal with that kind of loss when you see stupid shit like this video. makes a stupid twat like Palin seem even more puerile and disgusting.

sarjo June 10, 2011 at 1:45 pm

May we have a moment of silence for all the departed Wonkitties?

fuflans June 10, 2011 at 5:07 pm

i'm so very sorry. as with this huge wonkitty thread, my cats are my joy and it's so very hard to say good-bye.

my avatar is my fuflans who died in 2008 (also suddenly: age nine, liver cancer). his loss knocked me out for over a year.

on the plus side, time does heal and we now have a (maine coon) delight who is DEFINITELY his spiritual heir.

hang in there.

tessiee June 11, 2011 at 11:50 pm

Sorry for your loss. I've been through it more than once, and though it must not seem like it to you now, the hurt does go away, and eventually, you're able to remember all the good things about your little pal.

Boredw/Gravitas June 10, 2011 at 10:21 am

This stabs hearts. I can't believe that Sarah, of all people, would use her family vacation to raise money. Oh, wait….

genxr June 10, 2011 at 11:15 am

Peace loving grifters, rise up and refudiate this!

tessiee June 11, 2011 at 11:52 pm

"I can't believe that Sarah, of all people, would use her family vacation to raise money."

Sarah is a woman who would sell her own bowel movement.

AJWjr. June 12, 2011 at 10:50 pm

Or vowel movement.

LesBontemps June 10, 2011 at 10:21 am

Jesus, the word salad is less coherent than usual. They put this thing out on purpose?

Monsieur_Grumpe June 10, 2011 at 10:21 am

Where's a good old fashioned bus plunge when you need it?

KeepFnThatChicken June 10, 2011 at 10:23 am

Heavy gerund use, very passive voice (lots of that and is), terrible adjective agreement, too much reliance on the word "foundation," and far too much flattery for so few annotated reasons.

She sure did a great job of kissing the Founding Fathers' and cameras' asses, but only if your education stopped when your testicles dropped.

riverside68 June 10, 2011 at 11:01 am

They are suppose to drop?

Weenus299 June 10, 2011 at 10:24 am

It's like the Magical Mystery Tour, only without good music and with really bad costumes. The Tragical Hystery Tour.

Mort_Sinclair June 10, 2011 at 10:25 am

Joe McGinnis from his upcoming book on Palin:

Sarah Palin practices politics as lap dance, and we’re the suckers who pay the price. Members of our jaded national press corps eagerly stuff hundred dollar bills into her g-string, even as they wink at one another to show that they don’t take her seriously.

Need no further elaboration.

horsedreamer_1 June 10, 2011 at 10:47 am

Journalists really are sad, unfortunate people. & I know Ken Layne will prolly terminate this remark with extreme prejudice, but, for the sake of our nation's reporters, can we get some Paxil up in this joint?

(Why will Ken Layne delete it? 'Cause I'm sure he's against the pharmacoindustrial complex, too. Even the diabetes medicine. Especially the diabetes medicine. Just live well, & nothing will happen to you. (It's the secular-humanist's variation on "pray the sickness away". If you eat a largely vegetarian diet, drink red wine, watch Woody Allen movies, read Flannery O'Connor books, smoke a little bit of weed, listen to the Zombies, you'll be alright.))

riverside68 June 10, 2011 at 11:05 am

I'm confused, isn't Joe McGinnis a journalist?

horsedreamer_1 June 10, 2011 at 11:16 am

With the plural, I meant the journalists of whom Mc Ginnis was writing. Maybe I should have emphasized Beltway/politics beat journalists, though.

&, now, damnit, I'm really, really jonesing for Joe Klein's Anonymous's riotous satire of Sarah & Todd.

DangerHelvetica June 10, 2011 at 12:13 pm

My bet is Sarah's response will be, "how did he see into my living room now that I have the fence up?"

tihond June 10, 2011 at 10:25 am

Grifting.

MiniMencken June 10, 2011 at 10:29 am

Wonketteers, you're either on the bus or off the bus, if you know what I mean.

BaldarTFlagass June 10, 2011 at 10:29 am

She has a real strong grift ethic. Still, she had to take her use-or-lose.

Pres[EXTERMINATE!!] June 10, 2011 at 10:32 am

Wait, wait, wait. I thought this was just a Nice Little Palin Family Vacation. That's what Piper said before she cold-cocked that one teevee reporter.

horsedreamer_1 June 10, 2011 at 10:49 am

Oh, Lord, you put the littlest (female) Palin's name in the vicinity of cock. Guess who's going to get Letterman'd?

smashaduck June 10, 2011 at 10:36 am

Weird how Hawaii is missing from that there map thingy. Wait, no not weird at all.

genxr June 10, 2011 at 11:20 am

I'm still hoping she's going to try and drive that bus to Hawaii.

Chet Kincaid June 10, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Sarah went to one of her 22 colleges over there, and there weren't enough white people, so fuck Hawaii.

ChessieNefercat June 10, 2011 at 6:27 pm

I'll bet deep in her wizened little heart, she has no problem at all believing that President Obama is from Hawaii. No problem at all.

iburl June 10, 2011 at 10:38 am

Imagine that…"Comments have been disabled for this video"

ChessieNefercat June 10, 2011 at 11:33 am

"Imagine that…"Comments have been disabled for this video" "

Well, damn. The hell with it then.

tessiee June 12, 2011 at 12:03 am

Obviously, "disabled" is an insult to you-know-who.

Badonkadonkette June 10, 2011 at 10:38 am

Ever notice how the American flag looks like it's underneath her bus? I just wonder why Sarah thought it was a good idea to throw it there.

ChessieNefercat June 10, 2011 at 11:34 am

"Ever notice how the American flag looks like it's underneath her bus? I just wonder why Sarah thought it was a good idea to throw it there."

She's an un-American, secessionist-screwing cunt?

tessiee June 12, 2011 at 12:04 am

You're flattering her even more than she flatters herself if you think there's ever been an idea in that big, empty, Aqua-Net sprayed noggin of hers.

Sassomatic June 10, 2011 at 10:41 am

Aah, vapid faux patriotism. I love how this manages so be completely vague while completely free of subtlety.

horsedreamer_1 June 10, 2011 at 10:41 am

Just a slob like one of us…

horsedreamer_1 June 10, 2011 at 10:44 am

Recalls for me Joe "You lie!" Wilson's assertion that he's really a nice guy, & likes the President personally, &, hey, Ol' Joe & Michelle Obama have a lot in common: they both have family from the same part of South Carolina.

… Oh, wait —

jus_wonderin June 10, 2011 at 10:51 am

I didn't watch the vid but….is Piper preggers?

metamarcisf June 10, 2011 at 10:51 am

If the cost of the video is less than a gallon of turpentine, I'm in since I'm repainting the foyer this weekend.

AJWjr. June 10, 2011 at 6:14 pm

Elitist!

What's a foyer?

tessiee June 12, 2011 at 12:19 am

What's a battle?

elviouslyqueer June 10, 2011 at 10:57 am

3. Help pay for my go to Sudan and pretend to be Angelina Jolie fund.

No no no. That would mean being around smelly, impoverished, hungry blacks, which will just not do.

tessiee June 12, 2011 at 12:16 am

Depends upon her definition of "pretend to be Angelina Jolie"; it could just mean getting her lips and boobs done and then have sex with Brad Pitt.

horsedreamer_1 June 10, 2011 at 10:59 am

I hope Lou Sarah makes it to London, & while she's there, takes in a West Ham United game. The boosters should be especially homicidal worked-up, now, after being relegated.

GunToting[Redacted] June 10, 2011 at 11:00 am

I think you need to be acquainted from something before you can take a vacation from said thing.

riverside68 June 10, 2011 at 11:07 am

Logic smogic

She lives in the top superstructure of America: Alaska

She vacationed in the celler, where the foundation are. (Someone told her foundations have a lot of money, and they just give it away.)

PsycWench June 10, 2011 at 11:02 am

O/T: I would like to thank the downfist troll for facilitating bonding and mutual caring among Wonketteers. Nothing will pull a group of people together like a common enemy, and I now feel a sense of genuine affection for my fellow posters that might have been less evident to me in your absence.
But, still, fuck off.

jus_wonderin June 10, 2011 at 11:21 am

He/She doesn't realize He/She is bolstering the solidarity of our Wonketteer union.

tessiee June 12, 2011 at 12:28 am

I would guess that the things that he/she doesn't realize are as numerous as the grains of sand on a beach.

elviouslyqueer June 10, 2011 at 1:19 pm

Hmmm. Apparently my calling out the downfister has raised his ire. I'm now being followed stalked by "Jared Lee Libunatic" who, among other things, claims that Democrats were the ones who slashed Medicare and thus killed scores of grandmas including his own. *joy*

hagajim June 10, 2011 at 11:07 am

“As we go along looking at the historical sites, we’re highlighting what it is that built America, our strong foundation, in order to move forward. rewriting it in as simple and moronic a form as possible, because we're imbeciles.”

There – fixed.

MrFizzy June 10, 2011 at 11:07 am

I would like to see what Sarah would do with that one – showing the flag to the Japanese to warn them not to take away American guns.

horsedreamer_1 June 10, 2011 at 11:13 am

Blood Pip-el!

genxr June 10, 2011 at 11:15 am

America was built on conservative family values, and quitting halfway through.

jus_wonderin June 10, 2011 at 11:17 am

I think it could be considered a "busman's holiday" where she does the exact same thing on her "vacation" that she does all the other days of the year…creates word salads, makes no sense, gets all up when someone questions her, gets defensive and goes on air to explain what she meant to say, and…yes, grifts.

genxr June 10, 2011 at 11:18 am

At least she's getting out and seeing the world now.

Fare la Volpe June 10, 2011 at 11:20 am

She saw enough from her house.

ChessieNefercat June 10, 2011 at 11:19 am

"All the quick-cuts, I didn't see, was there a shot of the Marines putting up the flag on Iwo Jima? "

Kind of. I think it was a shot of the Palin clan putting up a flag on Mt. Rushmore just as their ancestor, the great American President George Quincy Jefferson Arnold did during the War of Western Aggression. But it was awfully quick, so I can't be sure.

DustBowlBlues June 10, 2011 at 11:24 am

Grifting has become an art in the Repubtard party. How many of them currently have no visible means of support other than the "campaign" funds people give them. And when are the morans writing those checks out of their little social security direct payment accounts going to figure out that they could afford double the packages of Fritos they enjoy now, or maybe have their scooters tricked out to look extra cool at the WalMart, if they quit supporting these loafers?

lumpenprole June 10, 2011 at 12:17 pm

The current GOP crowd makes William Bennet's career look like earnest and vital work.

genxr June 10, 2011 at 12:59 pm

If the ship is going down anyway, may as well take as many deck chairs as you can carry.

ChessieNefercat June 10, 2011 at 11:31 am

"Can someone please tell me what the fuck she took a vacation FROM?"

Her own screeching hell-voice?*

*Bearing in mind she's not too bright.

orygoon June 10, 2011 at 11:33 am

Set in this history-lovin' backdrop, I nominate Sarah Vowell to run for President (or anything) instead of Sarah Palin.

jus_wonderin June 10, 2011 at 11:53 am

I love Sarah Vowell. Can David Sedaris be her running mate?

LesBontemps June 10, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Vowell/Sedaris 2012 – For An Intentionally Humorous Narrative!

genxr June 10, 2011 at 4:19 pm

"Sarah No Talk Pretty Any Day"

user-of-owls June 10, 2011 at 11:36 am

Looking at that front-frame on the video with the doughboy and Palin triggered a thought:

Do we have any old canisters of mustard gas laying around? Just sayin'.

ChessieNefercat June 10, 2011 at 11:37 am

In ascribing the possibility of being able to empathize with another human to downfister dipshit, you are anthropomorphizing him/her/it.

But your point is well-made and entirely true!

BornInATrailer June 10, 2011 at 11:41 am

Mongoloided.

DaRooster June 10, 2011 at 11:46 am

“As we go along looking at the historical sites, we’re highlighting what it is that built America…"
"… and then at each one I will make some moronic statement and tards everywhere will change any and all online documentation to reflect the stupid shit that spills from my mouth… oh, and.. DERP!."

Ohforcripessake June 10, 2011 at 11:47 am

She's never going away is she?

SenileAgitation June 10, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Not so far and not if she can help it. >sniffle<

jus_wonderin June 10, 2011 at 11:47 am

Whenever I see or hear her I am left with this thought. Why did the castaways of Gilligan's Island not throw Gilligan and a half ton of coconuts into one of Lovey's oversized steamer trunks and drop him into the lagoon on the far side of the island????

Gleem_McShineys June 10, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Hmmm… The only theory I can come up with is then Skipper would start coming to one of the other characters for his abusive chokey-time buttsecks. You know it had to be going on.

So, let's see, this is going to take a lot of work, like oh so much wax on a certain little buddy's poopdeck…

Um, so, allegorically, the Koch-type Republicans (the scheme-hatching, farther-sighted, wealthy, more rational ones, symbolize the rest of the castaways here) allow Palin (symbolized by Gilligan, the complete idiot) to live on, which keeps the Tea Baggers (symbolized by a rapey Skipper) distracted and/or sated. If they were left to their own devices, The Baggers might start storming in and upset all their Kochtastic plans …?

genxr June 10, 2011 at 4:18 pm

Little known fact: Gilligan was the smartest castaway. There he was, a young guy trapped on an island with Ginger and Mary Ann, and every time the Professor was about to get them rescued, he would somehow screw things up, thus ensuring another week of threesomes.

Fare la Volpe June 10, 2011 at 11:48 am

Glad to see she's taking a well-deserved break from her money counting.

genxr June 10, 2011 at 11:49 am

Am I the only one who would be tempted to donate to a "Harass Margaret Thatcher Fund?"

tessiee June 12, 2011 at 12:18 am

If anyone on earth who wasn't Silly Sarah were in charge of collecting the donations, I'd at least consider it.

Left_Leftie June 10, 2011 at 11:52 am

I's not ALL old white people. I noticed THREE strategically placed black people and one Rodriguez.

bflrtsplk June 10, 2011 at 11:52 am

Those paying $10,000 or more for the video receive the extended version that includes Ted Nugent's "killer" guitar solo for "Kiss My Glock."

Eve8Apples June 10, 2011 at 11:59 am

The GOP loves the invisible hand of the free market. The hand is always extended, eagerly waiting to receive a roll of Benjamins.

BeWoot June 10, 2011 at 12:00 pm

Palin/Palin 2012!

Chet Kincaid June 10, 2011 at 12:06 pm

This is not the "Bang Bus" I am looking for.

L188188 June 10, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Is Piper pregnant in that first video shot?

jakegittes June 10, 2011 at 12:19 pm

They are not slaves. They were "African Interns."

imissopus June 10, 2011 at 1:04 pm

"One day lads, all this will be yours."

"What, the cotton fields?"

"No, not the cotton fields, lads…"

GOPCrusher June 10, 2011 at 12:47 pm

As one of the few people in this country that is still gainfully employed, its especially painful for me to see this creature, that has no skill set or verifiable employment, joy riding around in a bus, AND PEOPLE GIVE HER MONEY TO DO IT!
What the fuck is wrong with this country?

lumpenprole June 10, 2011 at 12:48 pm

I'll start a think tank and get you set up with a Derp Thinker title. We'll print lots of books together!

poncho_pilot June 10, 2011 at 1:01 pm

i'm griftin' and griftin';
like a bus out on the road.
http://gawker.com/5810736/sarah-palin-documentary

mavenmaven June 10, 2011 at 1:07 pm

Coming soon: Bristol's cross country limo ride for freedoms!

Toomush_Infer June 10, 2011 at 1:08 pm

"in touch with our nation's history…" or, putting the touch on our nation's history, take your pick….anyway, if half the nation has an I.Q. under a hundred, that's her base…

Buckminster June 10, 2011 at 1:08 pm

The only foundation this woman might remotely be acquainted with is a woman's undergarment, such as a girdle. Love how they just keep repeatin' and repeatin,' sort of like a bad taco.

Tundra Grifter June 10, 2011 at 1:11 pm

(c) Associated Press (Joe Rosenthal) 1944?

Tundra Grifter June 10, 2011 at 2:04 pm

I was downfisted for THAT?

Dang!

Now I'll NEVER make 100-p.

ChessieNefercat June 10, 2011 at 6:20 pm

And downfister will never go to heaven. The nerve.

Buckminster June 10, 2011 at 1:12 pm

For someone who expresses such a passion for American history, she seems to have read little about it. Come on, Sarah, at least scan the commemorative plaques before opening your trap!

BarackMyWorld June 10, 2011 at 1:22 pm

I might actually donate for that.

genxr June 10, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Excuse me, I'm just going to go find an ATM.

AJWjr. June 10, 2011 at 6:16 pm

I'm in for a buck…

ChessieNefercat June 10, 2011 at 6:28 pm

It would shut her up, wouldn't it?

mavenmaven June 10, 2011 at 1:38 pm

Did she call Washington DC "the belly of the beast"? Is that what a patriot says? Is she actually the enemy?
Hanoi Sarah!

KommunistKitty June 10, 2011 at 1:45 pm

…a strong argument against learning outside of the classroom.

proudgrampa June 10, 2011 at 1:49 pm

I can't believe she's getting away with this shit.

sarjo June 10, 2011 at 2:03 pm

Stay strong, brother! Glad to see you LOLing, instead of ROTFSYEO (rolling on the floor sobbing your eyes out, that is).Tell Buddy to keep his eyes peeled for Rassy and Peppy, my dearly departed bad-ass goofs.

mog253 June 10, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Then you know it's empty! Now scoot back to Alaska where you probably seem smart. And take your stinky bus with you.

AlaskaGrrl June 10, 2011 at 2:14 pm

Never watch or listen to this waste of flesh anymore. It's always the same, "Blah blah blah, America, blah blah blah, God, blah blah blah, ME!, blah blah blah, send money."

Eventually everyone but the clinically brain dead will figure out that they aren't getting anything new. We'll know when she is finally over when some one in the crowd of her supporters shouts out "Show us your tits!"

mavenmaven June 10, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Perhaps on her New Orleans bus trip…

Mort_Sinclair June 10, 2011 at 3:23 pm

The New Yorker has a video poem: Sarah Palin Rides With Paul Revere. Watch this video instead. It won't cause physical pain like the one above.

La_Cieca June 10, 2011 at 3:30 pm

"America's Foundation" is apparently CoverGirl Simply Ageless #215 ("Natural Ivory").

BZ1 June 10, 2011 at 3:38 pm

'…and do want to restore what's right about 'merica", isn't that what's "Left" of 'Merica after the slobbering class got to do their thing…

Tundra Grifter June 10, 2011 at 3:54 pm

"Americans for Prosperity" has announced: "This week, from America's heartland in Nebraska, Kansas, and Missouri, AFP Foundation launched our Running on Empty Tour."

Personally, I would say "Running on Empty" is an apt description of the GNoP field of Presidential candidates.

fuflans June 10, 2011 at 5:14 pm

i think the only person of color in the video was a cop.

mourningnmerica June 10, 2011 at 5:24 pm

Jesus Fucking Christ, maybe she will choke to death on a sandwich, or something.

mourningnmerica June 10, 2011 at 5:27 pm

Even in her OWN video, she sounds like she is really stupid. Do you know how much you can do with editing? Yet still, she sounds like a fucking idiot.

ChessieNefercat June 10, 2011 at 6:24 pm

My Wonkitty is sitting by the monitor purring right now.

ttommyunger June 10, 2011 at 6:49 pm

Ha ha, Wonkette! Nice try! No fucking way I'm going to click on a Palin vid. Why do we keep reading/hearing about this worthless cunt? I haz confused.

tessiee June 11, 2011 at 11:55 pm

They're quite justifiably afraid to come out and face the enemy.

tessiee June 11, 2011 at 11:59 pm

Her long, hard day of not making a goddamn bit of sense?

tessiee June 12, 2011 at 12:59 am

"I am starting the Save Our Way of Life PAC."

I think George on "Seinfeld" already did that.

Moonbat June 10, 2011 at 2:12 pm

Grift 'em up! Cash 'em out!
Grift 'em up! Cash 'em out!
Bus Ride!

Grift 'em up…
Cash 'em out….
BUUUUSSSS RIIIIIDE!

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