CAN CAUSE CANCER  3:41 pm June 9, 2011

WaPo Seeks Army Of Insane Volunteers To Spend All Weekend Reading Palin Email Dump

by Wonkette Jr.

I don't know any Dons, sorryBland suburban daily the Washington Post is asking for one hundred volunteers who want to stab forks into their eyes for a few days and help scour 24,000 Sarah Palin emails to prevent Chris Cilizza from developing a brain tumor reading them on his own. The complete set of official emails from Palin’s tenure as governor will be released tomorrow, guaranteeing a week-long news cycle dump of Palin’s gubernatorial misadventures riddled with elementary misspellings and syntax errors. We sure are looking forward to that! Now, who wants to sign up?

Over 24,000 e-mail messages to and from former Alaska governor Sarah Palin during her tenure as Alaska’s governor will be released Friday. That’s a lot of e-mail for us to review so we’re looking for some help from Fix readers to analyze, contextualize, and research those e-mails right alongside Post reporters over the days following the release.

We are limiting this to just 100 spots for people who will work collaboratively in small teams to surface the most important information from the e-mails. Participants can join from anywhere with a computer and an Internet connection.

WaPo is limiting this mouth-watering task to “just” one hundred people who would rather lose a half dozen IQ points parsing Sarah Palin’s illiterate bickering for “meaning” all weekend, for free, instead of doing absolutely anything else. This is your employment future, America. [Washington Post]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 210 comments }

nounverb911 June 9, 2011 at 3:43 pm

If they are not insane when they start, they certainly will be when they finish.

Giveusabob June 9, 2011 at 3:48 pm

If this WaPo event seems less than appealing, I'm having a free icepick lobotomy BBQ at my place this weekend. Bring your own icepick (BYOI).

CapeClod June 9, 2011 at 3:57 pm

This is how a zombie apocalypse gets started.

starfanglednut June 9, 2011 at 7:33 pm

WIN!

Biel_ze_Bubba June 9, 2011 at 5:05 pm

It's called "document review". Employed lawyers hire unemployed lawyers to do this sort of thing all the time. (This accounts for those zombified dead souls riding home on the subway at midnight.)

OzoneTom June 9, 2011 at 5:22 pm

Meh. I'm sure all of the best stuff is in her Yahoo mail anyway.

metamarcisf June 9, 2011 at 3:44 pm

I'm busy but I happen to know of a herd of rabid monkeys runnings loose in the Gila National Forest just ahead of that forest fire. If that'll help.

Ducksworthy June 9, 2011 at 3:57 pm

If Palin is with them, yes.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 9, 2011 at 5:06 pm

Read the fucking article, already! We've already got Palin's emails. Now we need someone to read them.

nounverb911 June 9, 2011 at 3:45 pm

Sorry, can't make it, the sun is contemplating a surprise visit to Seattle this weekend, and I'm planning on being outside.

Giveusabob June 9, 2011 at 3:49 pm

Cmon! That'll take only 5 minutes. What about the rest of the day?

HistoriCat June 9, 2011 at 5:02 pm

Got to give it the full 15 minutes. Ken Layne said so.

jus_wonderin June 9, 2011 at 3:51 pm

I can send you some of this Texas sun. We could use a break. (God, are you listening?)

MissusBarry June 9, 2011 at 3:56 pm

Not until August 6.

emmelemm June 9, 2011 at 4:52 pm

Touché!!

starfanglednut June 9, 2011 at 7:35 pm

Hey, does it really rain constantly there like in that show "The Killing"?

UW8316154 June 9, 2011 at 11:11 pm

Quit teasing, NounVerb.

I took today OFF because it was supposed to be sunny around here, and look what we got. No complaints about last weekend, however.

RadioJr. June 9, 2011 at 3:45 pm

What, Richard Cohen is just too busy?

frostbitefalls June 9, 2011 at 4:01 pm

I heard about some email thingies written by someone named Palin. What is this newfangled email stuff? I asked the intern who turns on my computer for me, but her explanation made my head hurt and I had to lie down. Apparently this Palin was governor of the territory of Alaska until she had too many babies and was forced to make a living off something called reality TV. Whatever happened to Huntley and Brinkley? What is this "reality" they are telling me about? Have I reached my word count?

UW8316154 June 9, 2011 at 11:14 pm

Aren't Huntley and Brinkley the two oldest Palin kids?

LouBristol June 9, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Of course! Those secretaries are not gonna harass themselves, y'know.

Lucidamente1 June 9, 2011 at 3:45 pm

How much word salad can a person take?

Crank_Tango June 9, 2011 at 3:45 pm

this is like going through a septic tank looking for corn, only worse.

MissusBarry June 9, 2011 at 3:58 pm

The upfist didn't begin to express my joy.

Gopherit June 9, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Very well put.

Guppy06 June 9, 2011 at 5:41 pm

Kernels of truth?

ifthethunderdontgetya June 9, 2011 at 3:46 pm

Bland suburban daily the Washington Post

I believe you forgot "and Washington Times wannabee".

…to prevent Chris Cilizza from developing a brain tumor

Why would anyone want to prevent this one potential positive development in our shameless corporate media?
~

Chillwaver June 9, 2011 at 3:46 pm

Guantanamo detainees sound like prime candidates for this task (Wordsalad-boarding?).

nounverb911 June 9, 2011 at 3:47 pm

I upfist a yes.

Andrew Drinker June 9, 2011 at 3:47 pm

I nominate Cord Jefferson.

HistoriCat June 9, 2011 at 5:05 pm

I nominate Jordan Ginsberg (aka the Canadian dude).

LesBontemps June 9, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Look, journamalism!

Callyson June 9, 2011 at 3:47 pm

The complete set of official emails from Palin’s tenure as governor will be released tomorrow, guaranteeing a week-long news cycle dump of Palin’s gubernatorial misadventures riddled with elementary misspellings and syntax errors.
Oh, thank God–finally, no more Weiners…

nounverb911 June 9, 2011 at 3:49 pm

There's always Tod's sexts to Sarah.

alaninthecastro June 9, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Stop the presses! Even as Wonkette fritters away the precious few remaining brain cells of loyal Wonketeers on Sarah Palin news, the chubby young white GOP state legislator in Massachusetts who says it's perfectly fine if illegal immigrants who get raped are afraid to report it to the police is named Ryan Fattman.

Sorry for the run-on sentence. That's what you call breathless reporting.

flamingpdog June 9, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Ryan Fattman sounds like the one who should be breathless.

Gopherit June 9, 2011 at 4:08 pm

But he's not chubby. He's tragically chinless:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_MI0eHifqM14/TSeOUss6-2I

Also a complete asshole.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 9, 2011 at 5:11 pm

"Special Ed" is written all over that face.

alaninthecastro June 9, 2011 at 5:11 pm

I'm willing to stipulate that he is chinless rather than chubby, but he do photograph poorly. http://www.wickedlocal.com/bellingham/town_info/y

As for your second point, I guess I'd have to say that if Ryan Fattman got butt-raped and was afraid to report it to the police, it wouldn't bother me that much.

user-of-owls June 9, 2011 at 6:21 pm

Not Woo-stah, he represents Sutton.

And that's just because there is no district named Mutton.

starfanglednut June 9, 2011 at 7:38 pm

Well, Worcester is is a horrible dive if that helps (no offense to any wonketeers who may live there)

trampndirtdown June 9, 2011 at 9:50 pm

"Ryan leads Republicans" this guy couldn't lead the Huckabee kids to a Golden Corral.

DemmeFatale June 9, 2011 at 7:16 pm

Now, there's a face I'd love to smack.
And smack HARD!

ifthethunderdontgetya June 9, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Here come ol' Fattman
He come slimin' up slowly
~

Toomush_Infer June 9, 2011 at 5:25 pm

He got joojoo eyeballs….

[redacted]hse June 9, 2011 at 5:41 pm

Ryan!!! That's a good one!

user-of-owls June 9, 2011 at 6:00 pm

So that's what Screech is up to these days.

http://www.hecklerspray.com/wp-content/uploads/20

SexySmurf June 9, 2011 at 3:48 pm

I'll do it for Kaplan University credit.

Lucidamente1 June 9, 2011 at 3:48 pm

I think Ken Layne is available.

Bonzos_Bed_Time June 9, 2011 at 3:51 pm

He's a novelist now. So yeah, lots of time on his hands.

flamingpdog June 9, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Ken Lay might be a better choice. Already brain-dead.

horsedreamer_1 June 9, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Lies! Ken Lay is Alive!

KenLayIsAlive June 9, 2011 at 6:25 pm

Hey, I resemble that remark.

flamingpdog June 10, 2011 at 1:50 am

I haz the sadz. Please don't set me aflame.

Negropolis June 10, 2011 at 7:33 am

lol!

RadioJr. June 9, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Too soon?

SorosBot June 9, 2011 at 3:48 pm

Most of them are probably just "T".

donner_froh June 9, 2011 at 5:53 pm

At the risk of downfist hell,what does the "T" reference mean or refer to?

user-of-owls June 9, 2011 at 5:57 pm

A while back she sent out a tweet that simply said "T"

You might be able to dig it out by searching for a "palin tweet" tag or somesuch. Oh, and I'd never downfist someone just because of simple meme unfamiliarity. Au contraire!

donner_froh June 9, 2011 at 6:02 pm

Thanks.

That woman is amazing and I mean in the worst way possible.

not that Dewey June 11, 2011 at 2:11 pm

http://wonkette.com/433989/sarah-palin-has-either

You'll notice that, at the time, it had been "retweeted" by 28 people.

UW8316154 June 9, 2011 at 11:18 pm

Either that or she just quit writing half-way through.

DaRooster June 9, 2011 at 3:48 pm

Yay!

Callyson June 9, 2011 at 3:49 pm

Also:
analyze, contextualize, and research those e-mails
Here's some help, for starters:
Completely Ignorant
Batshit Insane
Pure Hate
Um, What?

SarahsBush June 9, 2011 at 3:49 pm

If those readers can muster the strength make it through an issue of WaPo on a regular basis, they might have a chance of making it out alive.

iburl June 9, 2011 at 3:49 pm

I'd rather read these kid's homework: http://stupidfunnypics.blogspot.com/2010/12/funny

GuyClinch June 9, 2011 at 3:49 pm

Jesus, can't Sally Quinn do this?

horsedreamer_1 June 9, 2011 at 7:01 pm

In exchange for one nite with Todd, yes.

mannacler June 9, 2011 at 8:22 pm

She'd eff it up. You're probably too young to remember when she co-anchored the CBS Morning News.

jodyleek June 9, 2011 at 3:49 pm

I will do it if and only if there is some sort of drinking game involved. And free booze. Lots and lots of free booze.

riverside68 June 9, 2011 at 4:55 pm

don't forget the 72 virgins

SexySmurf June 9, 2011 at 3:50 pm

The other 10% are from an "Alaskan Princess" who needs your help moving her money out of the country.

ChessieNefercat June 9, 2011 at 4:18 pm

Moving your money into her wallet.

Bonzos_Bed_Time June 9, 2011 at 3:50 pm

The whole "working collaborative" thing pretty much nixes it for me.

WABishop June 9, 2011 at 4:10 pm

And I'm not crazy about their use of the word 'surface' either.

Crank_Tango June 9, 2011 at 3:50 pm

is this the account with the abc123 password, or the official account?

Billmatic June 9, 2011 at 3:50 pm

I wonder if she got pictures of Anthony Weiner's dick.

baconzgood June 9, 2011 at 3:50 pm

I'm going to get repetitive stress disorder typing "BLOOD LIBEL!!!!" on Wonkette next week.

DaRooster June 9, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Sorry, I'm busy… I have to… um… SHOOT MYSELF IN THE FACE!

RadioJr. June 9, 2011 at 4:06 pm

You can't fire me…I QUIT!

GOPCrusher June 9, 2011 at 5:28 pm

I'd like to help out, but I have a frontal lobotomy scheduled for this weekend. I made the appointment months ago.

metamarcisf June 9, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Both Dustin Hoffman and Robert Redford are committed to a piss-fest in Santa Fe

MrFizzy June 9, 2011 at 3:52 pm

I was going to chew on a roll of aluminum foil, but this may be even better.

bumfug June 9, 2011 at 3:52 pm

Christ, it would be like reading the comments section at BigGovernment.com! No, thanks!

AJWjr. June 9, 2011 at 3:53 pm

T

LetUsBray June 9, 2011 at 4:38 pm

15% of them are "T".

Biel_ze_Bubba June 9, 2011 at 5:08 pm

wat?

neiltheblaze June 9, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Who would want to give up unemployment benefits, or the space they've claimed under their favorite overpass, for this thankless job?

Gopherit June 9, 2011 at 3:55 pm

How do you send emails in crayon? Is there a font like wingdings?

CapeClod June 9, 2011 at 3:55 pm

Sorry, I have some Jehovah's Witnesses coming around to the house this weekend and I would rather listen to them.

edgydrifter June 9, 2011 at 3:55 pm

Pass. It would be like reading James Joyce's grocery list, if he were shopping for things that don't exist. I'm pretty sure H.P. Lovecraft warned us about texts like these.

AJWjr. June 9, 2011 at 3:58 pm

Complete with white casuls and cakes we like?

horsedreamer_1 June 9, 2011 at 4:01 pm

This is actually Joyce's grocery list. I was shocked, too, so you know.
http://wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/gh

proudgrampa June 9, 2011 at 5:07 pm

Now I'd love to have me some o' that "Cedar Cheese!"

UW8316154 June 9, 2011 at 11:34 pm

Cedar Cheese – isn't that what Paul Revere rode through town when he was firing those shots and ringing those bells?

AJWjr. June 9, 2011 at 3:56 pm

I nominate William Shatner.

flamingpdog June 9, 2011 at 4:11 pm

KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHN!!!!

Guppy06 June 9, 2011 at 5:44 pm

He's already had to pay for Palin's cross-border healthcare, isn't that enough punishment?

tessiee June 9, 2011 at 10:11 pm

If he's busy, we can always use Adam West.

elviouslyqueer June 9, 2011 at 3:58 pm

I'm sure Bill Kristol would do it, except that his dick might fall off from all the fapping.

Mahousu June 9, 2011 at 3:58 pm

OT(?), but essentially all of Gingrich's staff has quit. Perhaps they know that Gingrich sent some wiener pix to Palin?

LetUsBray June 9, 2011 at 4:47 pm

Wouldn't he have to find it under that gut of his first?

WhatTheHeck June 9, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Sorry, no can do. I no speaka her language.
And i can't afford the Rosetta Stone Palinesque course, which they said would take a linguist 4-5 years to get the hang of it.

KeepFnThatChicken June 9, 2011 at 4:08 pm

and that's a cunning linguist.

sorry. ever so sorry.

FlownOver June 9, 2011 at 5:40 pm

It's a reflex. We've all been there.

KeepFnThatChicken June 9, 2011 at 3:59 pm

I'm all for volunteering, but to be nice I'd rather not have the opportunity. I'd snark myself into an orgasm or ten by being smartass of the century while reading that bitch's email.

If they want analysis, better go somewhere else. I would be out for blood.

genxr June 9, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Ummm. It's the media. When have they ever chosen analysis over blood?

UW8316154 June 9, 2011 at 11:36 pm

Blood libel!

Buzz Feedback June 9, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Palin + Dump = Chocolate + Peanut Butter

fuflans June 9, 2011 at 3:59 pm

in what respect wapo?

baconzgood June 9, 2011 at 4:00 pm

That's just mean. Let Jr. Cut his/her teeth before we get too abusive. He's/she's not Riely….yet.

horsedreamer_1 June 9, 2011 at 4:07 pm

But, what if Wonkette, Jr., is Riley, same body & everything?

baconzgood June 9, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Then: On your mark, get set….ABUSE.

jus_wonderin June 9, 2011 at 4:00 pm

LOL. Is there even a door?

qwerty42 June 9, 2011 at 4:01 pm

It should be about 100 degrees F outside this weekend. I think I'd rather spend it clearing brush than reading that crazy woman's weird emails. The strange syntax and paranoia might be funny at first, but the gibberish will just wear you down after a while.

horsedreamer_1 June 9, 2011 at 4:02 pm

There are several e:mail exchanges between only Sarah Palin & Lou Sarah. It's a Raoul Duke/Dr Gonzo type exchange.

philpjfry June 9, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Isn't there an insane asylum someplace looking for recreation for the patients?

ChessieNefercat June 9, 2011 at 4:23 pm

Hmm. After all, they're already insane…

Negropolis June 10, 2011 at 1:54 am

Nope, St. Ronnie closed 'em all.

Allmighty_Manos June 9, 2011 at 4:03 pm

The Post doesn't mention that your eyelids will proped open Clockwork Orange Style.

genxr June 9, 2011 at 4:14 pm

And you'll never be able to listen to Beethoven again.

RadioJr. June 9, 2011 at 4:04 pm

Be careful when you say, "shoot me an e-mail" to Palin.

DaRooster June 10, 2011 at 11:37 am

And be especially careful with that whole, "Give me a ring" thing… the noise is deafening.

SayItWithWookies June 9, 2011 at 4:05 pm

It would be fascinating to see the raw, unfiltered evidence of how Sarah Palin thinks — however, I doubt it'll change my conception of what happens — it's probably the mental equivalent of a senile person on an Ambien somnambulation, making a grilled cheese sandwich with peanut butter, laundry detergent and one of those coupon books from the mail.

SorosBot June 9, 2011 at 4:05 pm

There's also a long back-and-forth conversation between her and a Nigerian prince.

KeepFnThatChicken June 9, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Over 24,000 e-mail messages to and from former Alaska governor Sarah Palin during her tenure as Alaska’s governor will be released Friday.

All of them, Katie.

SorosBot June 9, 2011 at 4:08 pm

So the Post has found how to make the newspaper business profitable again: by tricking their readers into doing their work for them, for free.

WABishop June 9, 2011 at 4:09 pm

Are there no prisons, no workhouses? I help support those establishments; if the Post needs volunteers perhaps they should look there.

SorosBot June 9, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Or they could look to the students they're scamming with their fake university.

GOPCrusher June 9, 2011 at 5:31 pm

What about Gitmo?

Limeylizzie June 9, 2011 at 4:11 pm

No, I almost signed up! Of course I would tell Wonkette before I reported to my WaPo overlords.

trampndirtdown June 9, 2011 at 10:42 pm

I'm worried that Barb won't pace herself. She could blow a snark circuit.

metamarcisf June 9, 2011 at 4:12 pm

Can't we recruit one of our commentators to volunteer so we can get real-time updates on this trashbin of human history?

James Michael Curley June 9, 2011 at 4:14 pm

This is remeniscent of my grand mother who would insist on looking in the toilet before I flushed to devine my health.

SorosBot June 9, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Shit, over a hundred comments in half an hour; Junior knows that Palin stories rack up the pageviews.

sarjo June 9, 2011 at 8:54 pm

Yes, the force of sleaze is strong with that one.

zappadoo76 June 9, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Volunteers? Like, for free? No way. The WP should get a hundred students from its profit-making Kaplan University to do it, as a 3-credit practicum, in Political Science, or Journalism or something. Kaplan University could even charge the students for the credits, and use the money to pay WP reporters, who will otherwise starve, from poverty.

ChessieNefercat June 9, 2011 at 4:25 pm

"practicum, in Political Science, or Journalism or something."

Abnormal Psychology?

flamingpdog June 9, 2011 at 4:18 pm

Sounds like a job for Opie and Anthony.

horsedreamer_1 June 9, 2011 at 4:43 pm

I'd rather see Bristol ride the Sybian.

/shudders

prommie June 9, 2011 at 4:22 pm

They want people to help "surface" the significant emails? What the fucking fuck? What the fucking fuckety-fuck fucking language are they speaking over there?

donner_froh June 9, 2011 at 5:58 pm

Wapoian?

Mort_Sinclair June 9, 2011 at 4:23 pm

I already have to read the musings of illiterate and semiliterate high school students for a living, satisfying my civic duty requirement for ten lifetimes. Merely the idea of having to read ANYthing written in some official capacity by that braindead snowbilly grifter hag is enough to make me want to nuke the entire state of Alaska and its zombie voters. No. Can. Do.

ChessieNefercat June 9, 2011 at 4:24 pm

One long fapfest for him/them.

Respitetini June 9, 2011 at 4:26 pm

I might just volunteer for this, just to read the Real Person Fanfiction she's written about herself and Michelle Bachmann.

PlanetWingNut June 9, 2011 at 4:33 pm

FOR FREE??? in this economy, and Sarah Palin Letters….KMA!!!!

now if you give me something from tiffany's we'll talk.

TheMightyHaltor June 9, 2011 at 4:35 pm

Could I please clean the Fukushima reactor with my tongue instead?

Steverino247 June 9, 2011 at 4:35 pm

I volunteered. I'll let you know how it goes, assuming there's not some blood oath I have to sign to get access to them from the WaPo.

HistoriCat June 9, 2011 at 5:14 pm

Blood oath libel!

Thanks Steverino – I am so glad someone is willing to take on for the team.

SayItWithWookies June 9, 2011 at 6:02 pm

Just post the really good stuff here before you send it to WaPo.

Steverino247 June 9, 2011 at 7:46 pm

That goes without saying, my friend. Again, I have to be picked to be a volunteer and I'm sure the WaPo will insist on some kind of exclusivity oath or something. I know I would if I were them.

ThundercatHo June 9, 2011 at 6:56 pm

Wow, I think you may have topped baconzgood's offer to use his dick as gag for Mann Coulter.

Steverino247 June 9, 2011 at 7:49 pm

Not quite sure how to take that, but it was a very funny comment!

trampndirtdown June 9, 2011 at 10:33 pm

I didn't know Baconz had done that. He is one brave wonketeer.

tessiee June 10, 2011 at 9:11 am

That IS a puzzler!
Steverino — reading Sarah's emails = putting his brain in a blender.
baconzgood — mouth-fucking Mann Coulter = putting his dick in a blender.

MasterDebater June 9, 2011 at 4:36 pm

Isn't this what Gitmo was built for?

metamarcisf June 9, 2011 at 4:36 pm

With the B-side of "Instant Karma", entitled "Who Has Seen the Wind?"

MasterDebater June 9, 2011 at 4:37 pm

And will these just be the texts of emails, or will we also be able to see all of the funny "forwards" sent to her with pic attachments Obama picking watermelons, moose fucking, Footprints, etc.

pinkocommi June 9, 2011 at 4:37 pm

Just think how funny reading Sarah Palin's emails will be simply for the spelling and grammatical mistakes. The content — heinously bitchy interspersed with asinine — is just the cherry on top.

Steverino247 June 9, 2011 at 7:50 pm

This is my reason for volunteering, mainly. That and the chance to see narcissism up close and sharpen the mad reading skillz.

sarjo June 9, 2011 at 8:57 pm

Oh, man, that would be sic sic sic!

metamarcisf June 9, 2011 at 4:37 pm

Washington Post: "I go looking a for sucker but I get no offers; just a come-on from the whores on 7th Avenue"

sarjo June 9, 2011 at 8:56 pm

Bukowski?

hooray4anything June 9, 2011 at 4:44 pm

Oh, dear Lord, please let there be nudie shots and flirtatious emails to male admirers. Is that to much to ask? And if some of them are to Andrew Sullivan, that would instantly make it the Best. Month. Ever.

PlanetWingNut June 9, 2011 at 4:45 pm

this would be a good for people who want to get out of jail early…all they have to do is read her letters…you know they'll gonna snank someone for more time after that!

Chet Kincaid June 9, 2011 at 8:06 pm

"Nutraloaf, the cunt's letters, or solitary confinement?! You pick, Rocko."

PlanetWingNut June 9, 2011 at 4:52 pm

I would say give the job to Palinates…but they would get delusioned…YEAH RIGHT

hagajim June 9, 2011 at 4:54 pm

Sounds like a job for Wonkette staff.

lochnessmonster June 9, 2011 at 4:55 pm

Do these include all the state business she did on her private/personal accounts, phones, etc. To keep it out of scrutiny?

emmelemm June 9, 2011 at 5:01 pm

Watermelonsss!!!1!

MinAgain June 9, 2011 at 5:12 pm

Isn't this how the Unibomber started out?

Toomush_Infer June 9, 2011 at 5:29 pm

Sorry, would love to but am having my head cosmetically amputated this weekend…

Guppy06 June 9, 2011 at 5:40 pm

"Volunteers" = no workers' comp.

Guppy06 June 9, 2011 at 5:47 pm

Volunteers: for when interns are just too expensive.

Sharkey June 9, 2011 at 5:49 pm

Just send it all to me. I wrote an automated program to search for scandals. "Scandalizer v1.0." It's a lot easier than teaching monkeys to read.

emmelemm June 9, 2011 at 8:14 pm

Honestly? You're totally lying. Because if you had invented such a piece of software, you'd be a bazillionaire, and you wouldn't have time to read Wonkette because you'd be too busy snorting cocaine off a hooker's labia.

Sharkey June 9, 2011 at 8:23 pm

The main problem is the wordsalad translator module never worked right. We're gonna get that fixed for 2.0.

Terry June 9, 2011 at 5:52 pm

You couldn't pay me enough to read that tripe. I will, however, regularly check in on The Mudflats blog to see what they find.

sarjo June 9, 2011 at 8:59 pm

For the trashy dirt, you're going to have to check Immoral Minority, I reckon.

donner_froh June 9, 2011 at 6:01 pm

Which languages are required other than English and Basic Palinian?

genxr June 9, 2011 at 7:01 pm

I have "Conversational Batshit" on CD, If anyone needs to borrow it.

DemmeFatale June 9, 2011 at 7:28 pm

Bravo!

Steverino247 June 9, 2011 at 7:51 pm

All of them, Katie! (Had to do it)

KenLayIsAlive June 9, 2011 at 6:24 pm

Todd's masseuse?

user-of-owls June 9, 2011 at 6:24 pm

No way. India has at least some basic protections of human rights. Hell, there isn't even a call center in Equatorial Guinea that would do this.

Come here a minute June 9, 2011 at 6:55 pm

Can this be used on a resume as an internship?

genxr June 9, 2011 at 7:00 pm

If that resume is written in crayon, yes.

Rotundo_ June 9, 2011 at 7:08 pm

Wapo has to resort to volunteers for research? Either they're bleeding cash out of every hole in bulk or they are the cheapest fucknobs on the planet. Volunteers to do research for a freakin' newspaper? What next, a bake sale?

finallyhappy June 9, 2011 at 7:26 pm

It's gay pride weekend in DC- so count me out(And I am an old straight woman- but still…)

Chet Kincaid June 9, 2011 at 7:36 pm

"You rang?" –Julian Assange

StarsUponThars June 9, 2011 at 7:38 pm

Searching Sarah's syntax for proof of her stupid. Talk about your job security.

starfanglednut June 9, 2011 at 7:46 pm

Have any of you ever read any of Hitler's speeches? They're complete gibberish. He just shouted them so authoritatively. I imagine her emails are like that. Gibberish, stated with conviction.

Chet Kincaid June 9, 2011 at 7:46 pm

Sarah Palin's® All-You-Can-Eat Word Salad Bar

BZ1 June 9, 2011 at 8:00 pm

no mention of the span of the 24,000 e-mails, two-three days perhaps?

chascates June 9, 2011 at 8:30 pm

"And if you don't ask for extra sour cream on that Enchirito again you'll be delivering mail up in Barrow you insect!"

sarjo June 9, 2011 at 8:53 pm

DeVEIN, dummy! Dangling 'rhoid!

Sharkey June 9, 2011 at 8:57 pm

I simply assume that it has already been tossed. As to how much a person can take, that's what this whole experiment is about.

Guppy06 June 9, 2011 at 9:01 pm

What do you mean "today?"

rocktonsam June 9, 2011 at 9:21 pm

reading?
$arah Palin?
I haz a confoosed!

imissopus June 9, 2011 at 9:43 pm

Now the NY Times is asking for volunteers as well. When did our journalists get so lazy? Oh, right.
http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/06/09/hel

Nothingisamiss June 9, 2011 at 9:45 pm

I'm with the no votes, this time. We gotta give Junior some time to enjoy this (presumably) paying job before he/she/they realize that their soul is dying.

Plus, I'm kissing ass. Comment of the Day?!

tessiee June 9, 2011 at 10:11 pm

And for free, yet?
Can't they just run them over with a truck or something?

Redhead June 9, 2011 at 11:01 pm

Anyone who is insane enough to do this is not someone you want analyzing emails – or trying to define "contextualize."

__kth__ June 9, 2011 at 11:02 pm

The Fix would be an awesome name for a column that wasn't stupid and banal. As it is, Cillizza should call his column The Fixx, which seems more his cultural and cognitive speed.

Negropolis June 10, 2011 at 1:45 am

They could always go looking for help at the unemployment offices. I hear those places are plenty busy, these days.

That, or they could troll the nation's (few remaining) psychiatric hospitals to try and find translators for Gibberish, specifically the Palinese Alaskan dialect of Gibberish.

tessiee June 10, 2011 at 9:01 am

Didn't Paul Revere say something in the Magna Carta about cruel and unusual punishment?

tessiee June 10, 2011 at 9:05 am

Let's get what's-his-face to do it, since he thinks Lou Sarah is so prestigious.
After an hour, he'll be rocking glassy-eyed in a corner, mumbling, "exhilarating… exquisite…" over and over.

Buckminster June 10, 2011 at 1:42 pm

Not enough eye-wash in the world to get me to read this crap.

ttommyunger June 10, 2011 at 6:35 pm

Jeebus Christ on a cracker! I don't even read all my own emails, why would I want to read this vapid twat's?

not that Dewey June 11, 2011 at 2:15 pm

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