PIX OR IT DIDNT HAPPEN  11:01 am June 9, 2011

Shocker: Another Weiner Politician In Trouble For Sexy Behavior

by Wonkette Jr.

no, we didn't mean these kinds of weiner pixMove over, Anthony Weiner scandal, there is a new Weiner sex scandal in town. It’s not like God was ever going to let us go another six hours without another Weiner joke. So here we go again: in New Mexico, Bernalillo County Commissioner Michael Weiner is in trouble for saying creepy things to a lady staff member, which, whatever, WHERE ARE THE WEINER PIX. New Mexico Democrats are calling on Weiner to resign, because Weiner is a weiner, etc. We look forward to reading about a third installment tomorrow morning probably, so the New York Times can do a “What’s the Matter With Weiners?” trend piece.

From KOB.com:

Wiener admitted to telling a joke about having a Wiener and a Johnson on the County Commission, but says when he told a woman staffer she was “looking good,” he was talking about her office decor and not her appearance.

New Mexico Democratic Party Chairman Javier Gonzales said Commissioner Weiner has created a very hostile offensive environment for employees to work in, time and time again.

Right, that’s terrible and stupid, but WHERE ARE THE PIX. This is not an actual Weinergate Brand Sex Scandal until there are weiner photos, because that is how this works. [KOB.com via Wonkette operative "Luke J."]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 140 comments }

nounverb911 June 9, 2011 at 11:05 am

Today we are all weiners.

Numbat_Dundee June 9, 2011 at 11:22 am

Nonsense! Ich bin ein Frankfurter.

UW8316154 June 9, 2011 at 1:31 pm

I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania.

GOPCrusher June 9, 2011 at 12:41 pm

Oh, I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.
That is what I'd truly like to be!
Cuz if I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.
Everyone would be in love with me!

OneDollarJuana June 9, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Sometimes a wiener is just a wiener.

But, sometimes it's a sanctimonious prick.

ablington June 9, 2011 at 11:05 am

Sigh…I don't think I can handle anymore Weiners. (rimshot)

horsedreamer_1 June 9, 2011 at 11:06 am

Things overheard at the Houston 500.

RoboGuppy June 9, 2011 at 11:52 am

I'm ashamed that I know what that means.

elviouslyqueer June 9, 2011 at 11:24 am

That's what Larry Craig said.

PsycWench June 9, 2011 at 11:27 am

Doubt it.

ablington June 9, 2011 at 11:31 am

heh heh

littlebigdaddy June 9, 2011 at 11:05 am

At least Wiener never told the lady she must be Jonesin' for his Johnson.

horsedreamer_1 June 9, 2011 at 11:07 am

Michael really should have learned to control his thoughts when presented with a colleague eating flautas.

PuckStopsHere June 9, 2011 at 11:09 am

Said it before and will, presumably, say it again: pics or GTFO!

BornInATrailer June 9, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Well, by the latest headlines I guess this is "ask and ye shall receive" though for Tony.

Chillwaver June 9, 2011 at 11:10 am

…and that's how Wiener jokes were forever ruined.

hagajim June 9, 2011 at 11:11 am

This isn't Weinergate….its WeinerHotelgate….there are so many rampant weiners in America we ought to outlaw them – like the browns.

Weenus299 June 9, 2011 at 11:12 am

Did it happen on a motorboat?

elviouslyqueer June 9, 2011 at 11:25 am

Yup. And one equipped with a powerful Johnson outboard, even.

flamingpdog June 9, 2011 at 12:07 pm

DId it happen with a pet goat?

Lascauxcaveman June 9, 2011 at 12:10 pm

It did not happen on a boat!
It did not happen with a goat!
It did not happen here or there!
It did not happen anywhere!
It did not happen, Sam I am sorry if anyone was offended.

SexySmurf June 9, 2011 at 11:12 am

says when he told a woman staffer she was “looking good,” he was talking about her office decor and not her appearance.

When he said she has "nice knockers," he was admiring the antique door knockers she collects. And when he said "nice melons," he was complimenting her gardening skills. And when he told her "nice jugs," he was talking about her big tits.

HistoriCat June 9, 2011 at 11:15 am

And when he mentioned her beaver …

PsycWench June 9, 2011 at 11:28 am

And when he asked if the carpet matched the drapes…

SorosBot June 9, 2011 at 11:46 am

"Nice beaver." "Thanks, I just got it stuffed."

Andrew Drinker June 9, 2011 at 1:44 pm

SorosBot = Jim Ward

usernameguy June 9, 2011 at 11:35 am

Oh, she keeps birds, too?

Gleem_McShineys June 9, 2011 at 1:52 pm

"Chickadeezus, your tits, they are big and healthy! I bet you'd like to see my enormous cock out at the ranch!"

freakishlywrong June 9, 2011 at 11:47 am

Did she have a cat?

DaRooster June 9, 2011 at 11:51 am

… and when he said,"Great ass." he was talking about her petting zoo…

ThundercatHo June 9, 2011 at 12:02 pm

"Look me in the eye when you say that."

GOPCrusher June 9, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Nice jugs? In New Mexico, maybe he was talking about her collection of Anasazi Era pottery?

ifthethunderdontgetya June 9, 2011 at 11:12 am

Maybe Juli Weiner could write a book for these folks, sort of a how-to guide for life?

"Keeping Your Weiner Private", or some such.
~

ProgressiveInga June 9, 2011 at 11:23 am

"Mein Weiner"?

ifthethunderdontgetya June 9, 2011 at 11:26 am

"Saving Private Weiner"
~

jus_wonderin June 9, 2011 at 11:31 am

"Pray Weiner, Eat Weiner, Love Weiner"

"No Country For Clothed Men"

ProgressiveInga June 9, 2011 at 11:38 am

"The Lovely Weiners"

Boredw/Gravitas June 9, 2011 at 12:11 pm

"For Whom the Weiner Tolls"

Goonemeritus June 9, 2011 at 11:13 am

That’s it I’m boycotting all future Weiner related posts.

Lascauxcaveman June 9, 2011 at 12:13 pm

Stop complaining, it keeps Sarah Palin off the pages.

WriteyWriterton June 9, 2011 at 12:43 pm

Excellent point. Thank you, cavey-person.

freakishlywrong June 9, 2011 at 11:13 am

Who's next? Peter Cox?

PuckStopsHere June 9, 2011 at 11:17 am

Heywood Jablowme

riverside68 June 9, 2011 at 11:20 am

Imado Shubag

elviouslyqueer June 9, 2011 at 11:27 am

Hugh G. Rection

DaRooster June 9, 2011 at 11:54 am

Dick Trickle… (nice parents ya got there Dick)

Boredw/Gravitas June 9, 2011 at 12:11 pm

Mike Hawk

GOPCrusher June 9, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Richard Smoker. His friends call him Big Dick.

SnarkoMarx June 9, 2011 at 11:14 am

When will there be an investigation into the behavior of politicians named John Thomas? Too high-brow for Duhmerica to make jokes about?

poncho_pilot June 9, 2011 at 12:53 pm

the front page pic looks like a subliminal dick joke:
http://www.johnthomassteakhouse.com/

CliveWarren June 9, 2011 at 11:14 am

Isn't it eerie that all politicians named Weiner seem to be creepy? Imagine if all politicians named Bush were complete fuckups…

__kth__ June 9, 2011 at 11:33 am

Yes, it's quite the stretch, isn't it?

(Snark amplification provided for the snark-impaired, which intermittently includes myself)

DaRooster June 9, 2011 at 11:55 am

TADA!

bagofmice June 9, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Hey, all of the time Bush spent "Clearing Brush" must have been productive, right?

nounverb911 June 9, 2011 at 11:15 am
anniegetyerfun June 9, 2011 at 11:22 am

You know what would be weird? If Trouble had turned out to be a really sweet, good-natured little dog.

elviouslyqueer June 9, 2011 at 11:28 am

I always wondered what Ann Coulter looked like without makeup.

flamingpdog June 9, 2011 at 12:15 pm

I was expecting Trouble to be a weiner dog.

GOPCrusher June 9, 2011 at 1:16 pm

Further proof that the inheritance tax isn't high enough.

weejee June 9, 2011 at 11:17 am

Twat's wrong with 'Murica? I cunt bare anymore unrepentant wiener escapades. It is hitting too hard, and could lead to a dickshun.

Lascauxcaveman June 9, 2011 at 11:18 am

Making a big deal about it? Is he a Democrat? Then they damn well better make a big deal about it!

harry_palmer June 9, 2011 at 11:20 am

Cheney was named Dick because even his mother knew. This guy was named Weiner so everyone else would.

Arken June 9, 2011 at 11:21 am

Since when is saying 'looking good' sexual harassment even if he did mean her physical appearance?

Lascauxcaveman June 9, 2011 at 12:16 pm

He was groping her ass when he said it.

metamarcisf June 9, 2011 at 11:22 am

Weiner? I hardly knew her!

AJWjr. June 9, 2011 at 1:01 pm

For the wein!

Angry_Marmot June 9, 2011 at 2:41 pm

Tried to focus, but they hardly know us.

JoshuaNorton June 9, 2011 at 11:23 am

Jeeeezusss! They can't speak of it and simulaneously can't stop talking about it.

freakishlywrong June 9, 2011 at 11:26 am

This is why women don't get in to this type of trouble. We don't have last names like "Vagina".

JustPixelz June 9, 2011 at 11:45 am

Barbara Bush?

Then there's Juli Weiner and Ana Marie Cox.

ThundercatHo June 9, 2011 at 12:04 pm

Pussy Galore?

bagofmice June 9, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Dick Armey's wife?

GuyClinch June 9, 2011 at 11:26 am

I gonna call my friend Mike Hunt and see what he thinks of all this fuss.

RedNM June 9, 2011 at 11:39 am

I've already spoken to Matt Stirrbait, and he is not amused.

MikeHawkstrong June 9, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Huh….what?

neiltheblaze June 9, 2011 at 11:27 am

I don't know what's worse about this – that Anthony Weiner is a juvenile doofus, or that the American media are a pack of juvenile doofii.

Lascauxcaveman June 9, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Aw, what the heck. They're having fun playing together.

WriteyWriterton June 9, 2011 at 12:47 pm

And they're so cute in that sandbox, too, also.

Lascauxcaveman June 9, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Think they'd notice if we slipped out for quick beer?

neiltheblaze June 9, 2011 at 3:36 pm

OK you guys – fine – but if they start showing each other their pee-pees, don't blame me.

LesBontemps June 9, 2011 at 11:27 am

an actual Weinergate Brand Sex Scandal

I long for the days when a sex scandal actually involved sex. Damn you, interwebz!

__kth__ June 9, 2011 at 11:28 am

Weiner equivalence fail in every possible way, including that one.

axmxz June 9, 2011 at 11:29 am

It's official. God loves cock.

RedNM June 9, 2011 at 11:30 am

Wait. Isn't Michael Weiner actually the real name of Michael Savage?

LesBontemps June 9, 2011 at 11:40 am

Yes, but if the two married one would be Michael Savage Weiner and the other Michael Weiner Savage; alternatively, both would be Michael Weiner Weiner, so win/win/win/win.

Pres[EXTERMINATE!!] June 9, 2011 at 11:32 am

What a bunch of dicks.

PsycWench June 9, 2011 at 11:32 am

"I'm really sorry anybody was offended"
This must be on Page 1 of the Republican Playbook, but he omitted "if" to throw us off.

Boredw/Gravitas June 9, 2011 at 12:09 pm

It's in the first paragraph.

Gopherit June 9, 2011 at 11:36 am

But did he leave any pubic hairs on her beverages? That's the sign of a skilled player.

DahBoner June 9, 2011 at 11:36 am

At least Nuevo Mexican Weiner didn't tweet his weiner.

He sexually harassed women the old fashioned way:

Drunk, dirty, unshaven, sitting on a horse, shooting guns in the air….

MissusBarry June 9, 2011 at 11:55 am

Is that how Paul Rever did it?

DahBoner June 9, 2011 at 1:01 pm

Yes.

And most people don't know a 1970's disco song was written to commerate Paul Revere's drunken ride, called "Ring My Bell"…

usernameguy June 9, 2011 at 11:36 am

Ever notice how the dogs in these dress-up pictures always look miserable?

DemmeFatale June 9, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Even the dog knows it should be mustard, (not ketchup), on his back.

JustPixelz June 9, 2011 at 11:38 am

Will be represented by the Fairfax firm of Boehner, Koch, Johnson, Dick & Love Sausage.

- fixed

DaRooster June 9, 2011 at 11:48 am

… Tube Snake, Thundering Flesh Hammer & One Eyed Trouser Trout too, and also.

WhatTheHolyHeck June 9, 2011 at 11:39 am

It is deeply unfair that this is happening in June, when we can't rename the month in a distinctly puerile way.

freakishlywrong June 9, 2011 at 11:50 am

Poon?

bagofmice June 9, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Well, Juli Weiner was already taken.

Mumbletypeg June 9, 2011 at 11:42 am

told a woman staffer she was “looking good,” he was talking about her office decor and not her appearance.

Probably should ease back on the carpet-matching-drapes remarks, friend. Until you've refined your 'subtle' innuendo-laden repartee, err on the side of sensitive. [Maybe you'll find the chicks actually dig that, too.]

DaRooster June 9, 2011 at 11:45 am

What… needs more mayo?

Toomush_Infer June 9, 2011 at 11:46 am

fer chrissakes – I've had it with these wimpy democrats, Tweety, and the rest of my fellow Wonkettes – Weiner's my hero! He's done what half the internet does every day, and lived to cry about it….go soak your tiny heads…those who have 'em…

RedNM June 9, 2011 at 11:52 am

Weiner said part of his personality is his humor.

"It's gotten me in trouble. Nothing I ever did was vicious. I'm really sorry anybody was offended, and it won't happen again. Things will be different around here, I will be much more careful," Weiner stated.

Last March leaders of Albuquerque's black community criticized Wiener for forwarding a racist email joke to other county officials. Wiener apologized repeatedly for it.

Note the multiple spellings of his last name.

ttommyunger June 9, 2011 at 12:06 pm

This "Joking on the Square" bullshit is the lamest of all scoring attempts. Man up, motherfuckers, if you run up on a supremely fuckable item, move in, state your intentions and take the risk. She'll either be offended, flattered (most likely) or receptive. Remember assholes, "Faint heart never won fair maiden."

ThundercatHo June 9, 2011 at 12:06 pm

Ok, that's it. No more politicians named Weiner. They all have to change their name to Boner or Koch.

DemmeFatale June 9, 2011 at 12:15 pm

My brothers' version:

"There's a skeeter on my peter,
Whack it off, whack it off."
(You boys and your weiners! Sheesh!)

metamarcisf June 9, 2011 at 12:18 pm

The bottom line is, it ain't a joke if it ain't funny. Give me the name of one right-wing comedian. This piece of shit is racist but if you call it a joke, then I'm offended. As a comedian.

Mahousu June 9, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Obviously that joke can't be racist, since it calls them "African-Americans." If he had used the "n" word or something, it'd be different, but this seemed fine to him.

The best part of that story is that he sent it to the director of prisons, not long after there was a brutal beating of an African-American inmate at the Bernalillo County jail. Talk about timing!

FraAnima June 9, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Headline in the New Mexico Independent:

"Independent Probe Clears Wiener…"

No, really.

not that Dewey June 9, 2011 at 1:47 pm

That's gotta hurt.

Lascauxcaveman June 9, 2011 at 12:24 pm

Well, if you're gonna tell a filthy, racist joke, tell a whopper. That one's a whopper.

proudgrampa June 9, 2011 at 12:33 pm

Haha. You said "pajero."

Weiner is a Wanker.

WriteyWriterton June 9, 2011 at 12:39 pm

I suppose I could call all of this purported journalism about politicians' sexual peccadilloes "a race to the bottom," but that would create/invite more problems/stupid jokes here than it would avoid/prevent.

So, I call…Race to the Bottom!

MaxUdargo June 9, 2011 at 12:41 pm

Look "Mr. Weiner," your name itself constitutes sexual harassment. Having to say, "Good morning, Mr. Weiner" creates a hostile, offensive environment for your coworkers. Just stay home and out of trouble. And if you go to the grocery store to buy hot dogs, for God's sake pay with cash.

WriteyWriterton June 9, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Same for buns, too, also. Because you put weiners/wieners in…never mind.

GOPCrusher June 9, 2011 at 12:43 pm

No self respecting American puts ketchup on a hot dog.

WriteyWriterton June 9, 2011 at 12:45 pm

[In movie-preview-narrator's voice] "In a world full of reasonable human beings…"

WriteyWriterton June 9, 2011 at 12:48 pm

"Tit for…" wait, what?

poncho_pilot June 9, 2011 at 1:00 pm

tit for taint?

WriteyWriterton June 9, 2011 at 12:53 pm

A "pop-up for Siemens"? Apop-up for Siemens?

Have you no shame, sir? At long last, have you no shame?

poncho_pilot June 9, 2011 at 12:56 pm

eh, seeing Anthony Weiner's weiner would still be better than seeing Chris Christie's helicopter.

weejee June 9, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Trying to keep with our current 100% weiners all the time meme, out here in the Soviet of Warshington Repube Rob McKenna (and 100% certified weiner) has announced he is running for Gov. We Evergreen Staters are proud to have kept the Rs from the governor's mansion longer than any other state – since 1985. But we're thinking that 25+ years is chump change, and we want to keep the Rs wandering in the political desert for a full Biblical 40 years. So iffin' you have access to any McKenna weiner pictures or Foleyesque emails to Brownies or Cub Scouts, please forward them to Wonkette Jr. for posting here on our Wonkette.

Thanks in advance for any help.

not that Dewey June 9, 2011 at 1:12 pm

I call bullshit. Nobody in New Mexico is "looking good".

GOPCrusher June 9, 2011 at 1:22 pm

That's just having a mature discussion about race in this country. Because everyone knows that those darkies are all criminals.

horsedreamer_1 June 9, 2011 at 1:23 pm

threadjack/
http://www.jsonline.com/blogs/news/123548844.html

Delafield, Wisc., legislator — I could say more, but after yesterday, I won't — admits that the GOP was bought & paid by the Fraternal Order of (White) Police of Milwaukee.

Hahahahahah.

/threadjack

Gleem_McShineys June 9, 2011 at 1:33 pm

It is just a depiction in cute stuffed cloth of

a pulsing red vein

tcaalaw June 9, 2011 at 1:41 pm

This is turning into a full-scale Weiner purge!

not that Dewey June 9, 2011 at 1:48 pm

So messy!

user-of-owls June 9, 2011 at 2:00 pm

There's only two ways this trend can go: stale or global. It might get some legs if it goes the latter, e.g.,

I. Van Dyck (Netherlands);
Mai Dong (Vietnam);
Luca Mapini (Italy);
Imre Liebült (Hungarian)

More?

Angry_Marmot June 9, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Zizi Taupe (France)

unclejeems June 9, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Dick "Wiener" Nixon. USA USA!

DrBobNM June 9, 2011 at 2:03 pm

I wouldn't put anything past the politicians in New Mexico. From either side of the aisle.

and when has it been harassment to tell someone they are looking good? Crazy PC world we live in.

metamarcisf June 9, 2011 at 6:16 pm

It'd be okay if the lady in question had felt comfortable telling Mr. Wiener, "Thanks pal and you look like a shit sandwich". But she'd would've been afraid of being put on admin leave.

DrBobNM June 10, 2011 at 11:36 am

big difference. If she had nothing nice to say, then she should say nothing.

Angry_Marmot June 9, 2011 at 2:51 pm

"…The dog-loving community remains sharply divided on the question of who is a good boy. "

unclejeems June 9, 2011 at 3:11 pm

Hell, everybody knows you put mayonnaise on a dachsund. Catsup is for les bichons frises.

mrblifil June 9, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Um…death to Weiners? Will that satisfy people? Or are some people never satisfied by Wieners?

widget2011 June 9, 2011 at 5:18 pm

I see a comback coming, uniting with republicans.
Weiner/Santorum 2012.

muddypolitics June 9, 2011 at 7:32 pm

At least New Mexico Rep. Martin Heinrich (D) told me he forgives us for giving so much attention to the Palin publicity bus tour, Tweinergate and The Donald's "march of the birthers" campaign, because obviously CONGRESS isn't doing anything that merits the attention of the media or the public >> Confessions of a Politics Junkie: Heinrich Forgives : http://j.mp/l9gK6b

BZ1 June 9, 2011 at 7:55 pm

How hard would you have to look to find a Repub with the name Weiner who also has a wiener problem? BTW, his bio shows that he made his acting debut in two episodes of the TV show “Real Stories of the Highway Patrol.” That alone would leave me at a loss for words…

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