no, we didn't mean these kinds of weiner pixMove over, Anthony Weiner scandal, there is a new Weiner sex scandal in town. It’s not like God was ever going to let us go another six hours without another Weiner joke. So here we go again: in New Mexico, Bernalillo County Commissioner Michael Weiner is in trouble for saying creepy things to a lady staff member, which, whatever, WHERE ARE THE WEINER PIX. New Mexico Democrats are calling on Weiner to resign, because Weiner is a weiner, etc. We look forward to reading about a third installment tomorrow morning probably, so the New York Times can do a “What’s the Matter With Weiners?” trend piece.


Wiener admitted to telling a joke about having a Wiener and a Johnson on the County Commission, but says when he told a woman staffer she was “looking good,” he was talking about her office decor and not her appearance.

New Mexico Democratic Party Chairman Javier Gonzales said Commissioner Weiner has created a very hostile offensive environment for employees to work in, time and time again.

Right, that’s terrible and stupid, but WHERE ARE THE PIX. This is not an actual Weinergate Brand Sex Scandal until there are weiner photos, because that is how this works. [ via Wonkette operative “Luke J.”]

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  • nounverb911

    Today we are all weiners.

    • Numbat_Dundee

      Nonsense! Ich bin ein Frankfurter.

      • UW8316154

        I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania.

    • GOPCrusher

      Oh, I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.
      That is what I'd truly like to be!
      Cuz if I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.
      Everyone would be in love with me!

    • OneDollarJuana

      Sometimes a wiener is just a wiener.

      But, sometimes it's a sanctimonious prick.

  • ablington

    Sigh…I don't think I can handle anymore Weiners. (rimshot)

    • horsedreamer_1

      Things overheard at the Houston 500.

      • RoboGuppy

        I'm ashamed that I know what that means.

    • elviouslyqueer

      That's what Larry Craig said.

      • PsycWench

        Doubt it.

        • ablington

          heh heh

  • littlebigdaddy

    At least Wiener never told the lady she must be Jonesin' for his Johnson.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Michael really should have learned to control his thoughts when presented with a colleague eating flautas.

  • PuckStopsHere

    Said it before and will, presumably, say it again: pics or GTFO!

    • BornInATrailer

      Well, by the latest headlines I guess this is "ask and ye shall receive" though for Tony.

  • …and that's how Wiener jokes were forever ruined.

  • hagajim

    This isn't Weinergate….its WeinerHotelgate….there are so many rampant weiners in America we ought to outlaw them – like the browns.

  • Weenus299

    Did it happen on a motorboat?

    • elviouslyqueer

      Yup. And one equipped with a powerful Johnson outboard, even.

    • flamingpdog

      DId it happen with a pet goat?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        It did not happen on a boat!
        It did not happen with a goat!
        It did not happen here or there!
        It did not happen anywhere!
        It did not happen, Sam I am sorry if anyone was offended.

  • SexySmurf

    says when he told a woman staffer she was “looking good,” he was talking about her office decor and not her appearance.

    When he said she has "nice knockers," he was admiring the antique door knockers she collects. And when he said "nice melons," he was complimenting her gardening skills. And when he told her "nice jugs," he was talking about her big tits.

    • HistoriCat

      And when he mentioned her beaver …

      • PsycWench

        And when he asked if the carpet matched the drapes…

      • SorosBot

        "Nice beaver." "Thanks, I just got it stuffed."

        • Andrew Drinker

          SorosBot = Jim Ward

    • usernameguy

      Oh, she keeps birds, too?

      • "Chickadeezus, your tits, they are big and healthy! I bet you'd like to see my enormous cock out at the ranch!"

    • freakishlywrong

      Did she have a cat?

    • DaRooster

      … and when he said,"Great ass." he was talking about her petting zoo…

    • ThundercatHo

      "Look me in the eye when you say that."

    • GOPCrusher

      Nice jugs? In New Mexico, maybe he was talking about her collection of Anasazi Era pottery?

  • Maybe Juli Weiner could write a book for these folks, sort of a how-to guide for life?

    "Keeping Your Weiner Private", or some such.

    • ProgressiveInga

      "Mein Weiner"?

      • "Saving Private Weiner"

        • jus_wonderin

          "Pray Weiner, Eat Weiner, Love Weiner"

          "No Country For Clothed Men"

    • ProgressiveInga

      "The Lovely Weiners"

    • Boredw/Gravitas

      "For Whom the Weiner Tolls"

  • Goonemeritus

    That’s it I’m boycotting all future Weiner related posts.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Stop complaining, it keeps Sarah Palin off the pages.

      • WriteyWriterton

        Excellent point. Thank you, cavey-person.

  • freakishlywrong

    Who's next? Peter Cox?

    • PuckStopsHere

      Heywood Jablowme

    • riverside68

      Imado Shubag

    • elviouslyqueer

      Hugh G. Rection

    • DaRooster

      Dick Trickle… (nice parents ya got there Dick)

    • Boredw/Gravitas

      Mike Hawk

    • GOPCrusher

      Richard Smoker. His friends call him Big Dick.

  • SnarkoMarx

    When will there be an investigation into the behavior of politicians named John Thomas? Too high-brow for Duhmerica to make jokes about?

  • CliveWarren

    Isn't it eerie that all politicians named Weiner seem to be creepy? Imagine if all politicians named Bush were complete fuckups…

    • __kth__

      Yes, it's quite the stretch, isn't it?

      (Snark amplification provided for the snark-impaired, which intermittently includes myself)

    • DaRooster


    • bagofmice

      Hey, all of the time Bush spent "Clearing Brush" must have been productive, right?

  • nounverb911
    • anniegetyerfun

      You know what would be weird? If Trouble had turned out to be a really sweet, good-natured little dog.

    • elviouslyqueer

      I always wondered what Ann Coulter looked like without makeup.

    • flamingpdog

      I was expecting Trouble to be a weiner dog.

    • GOPCrusher

      Further proof that the inheritance tax isn't high enough.

  • Twat's wrong with 'Murica? I cunt bare anymore unrepentant wiener escapades. It is hitting too hard, and could lead to a dickshun.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Making a big deal about it? Is he a Democrat? Then they damn well better make a big deal about it!

  • harry_palmer

    Cheney was named Dick because even his mother knew. This guy was named Weiner so everyone else would.

  • Arken

    Since when is saying 'looking good' sexual harassment even if he did mean her physical appearance?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      He was groping her ass when he said it.

  • metamarcisf

    Weiner? I hardly knew her!

    • AJWjr.

      For the wein!

    • Angry_Marmot

      Tried to focus, but they hardly know us.

  • JoshuaNorton

    Jeeeezusss! They can't speak of it and simulaneously can't stop talking about it.

  • freakishlywrong

    This is why women don't get in to this type of trouble. We don't have last names like "Vagina".

    • Barbara Bush?

      Then there's Juli Weiner and Ana Marie Cox.

    • ThundercatHo

      Pussy Galore?

    • bagofmice

      Dick Armey's wife?

  • I gonna call my friend Mike Hunt and see what he thinks of all this fuss.

    • RedNM

      I've already spoken to Matt Stirrbait, and he is not amused.

    • MikeHawkstrong


  • neiltheblaze

    I don't know what's worse about this – that Anthony Weiner is a juvenile doofus, or that the American media are a pack of juvenile doofii.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Aw, what the heck. They're having fun playing together.

      • WriteyWriterton

        And they're so cute in that sandbox, too, also.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Think they'd notice if we slipped out for quick beer?

        • neiltheblaze

          OK you guys – fine – but if they start showing each other their pee-pees, don't blame me.

  • LesBontemps

    an actual Weinergate Brand Sex Scandal

    I long for the days when a sex scandal actually involved sex. Damn you, interwebz!

  • __kth__

    Weiner equivalence fail in every possible way, including that one.

  • axmxz

    It's official. God loves cock.

  • RedNM

    Wait. Isn't Michael Weiner actually the real name of Michael Savage?

    • LesBontemps

      Yes, but if the two married one would be Michael Savage Weiner and the other Michael Weiner Savage; alternatively, both would be Michael Weiner Weiner, so win/win/win/win.

  • What a bunch of dicks.

  • PsycWench

    "I'm really sorry anybody was offended"
    This must be on Page 1 of the Republican Playbook, but he omitted "if" to throw us off.

    • Boredw/Gravitas

      It's in the first paragraph.

  • Gopherit

    But did he leave any pubic hairs on her beverages? That's the sign of a skilled player.

  • DahBoner

    At least Nuevo Mexican Weiner didn't tweet his weiner.

    He sexually harassed women the old fashioned way:

    Drunk, dirty, unshaven, sitting on a horse, shooting guns in the air….

    • MissusBarry

      Is that how Paul Rever did it?

      • DahBoner


        And most people don't know a 1970's disco song was written to commerate Paul Revere's drunken ride, called "Ring My Bell"…

  • usernameguy

    Ever notice how the dogs in these dress-up pictures always look miserable?

    • DemmeFatale

      Even the dog knows it should be mustard, (not ketchup), on his back.

  • Will be represented by the Fairfax firm of Boehner, Koch, Johnson, Dick & Love Sausage.

    – fixed

    • DaRooster

      … Tube Snake, Thundering Flesh Hammer & One Eyed Trouser Trout too, and also.

  • WhatTheHolyHeck

    It is deeply unfair that this is happening in June, when we can't rename the month in a distinctly puerile way.

    • freakishlywrong


    • bagofmice

      Well, Juli Weiner was already taken.

  • Mumbletypeg

    told a woman staffer she was “looking good,” he was talking about her office decor and not her appearance.

    Probably should ease back on the carpet-matching-drapes remarks, friend. Until you've refined your 'subtle' innuendo-laden repartee, err on the side of sensitive. [Maybe you'll find the chicks actually dig that, too.]

  • DaRooster

    What… needs more mayo?

  • Toomush_Infer

    fer chrissakes – I've had it with these wimpy democrats, Tweety, and the rest of my fellow Wonkettes – Weiner's my hero! He's done what half the internet does every day, and lived to cry about it….go soak your tiny heads…those who have 'em…

  • RedNM

    Weiner said part of his personality is his humor.

    "It's gotten me in trouble. Nothing I ever did was vicious. I'm really sorry anybody was offended, and it won't happen again. Things will be different around here, I will be much more careful," Weiner stated.

    Last March leaders of Albuquerque's black community criticized Wiener for forwarding a racist email joke to other county officials. Wiener apologized repeatedly for it.

    Note the multiple spellings of his last name.

  • ttommyunger

    This "Joking on the Square" bullshit is the lamest of all scoring attempts. Man up, motherfuckers, if you run up on a supremely fuckable item, move in, state your intentions and take the risk. She'll either be offended, flattered (most likely) or receptive. Remember assholes, "Faint heart never won fair maiden."

  • ThundercatHo

    Ok, that's it. No more politicians named Weiner. They all have to change their name to Boner or Koch.

  • DemmeFatale

    My brothers' version:

    "There's a skeeter on my peter,
    Whack it off, whack it off."
    (You boys and your weiners! Sheesh!)

  • metamarcisf

    The bottom line is, it ain't a joke if it ain't funny. Give me the name of one right-wing comedian. This piece of shit is racist but if you call it a joke, then I'm offended. As a comedian.

  • Mahousu

    Obviously that joke can't be racist, since it calls them "African-Americans." If he had used the "n" word or something, it'd be different, but this seemed fine to him.

    The best part of that story is that he sent it to the director of prisons, not long after there was a brutal beating of an African-American inmate at the Bernalillo County jail. Talk about timing!

  • FraAnima

    Headline in the New Mexico Independent:

    "Independent Probe Clears Wiener…"

    No, really.

    • not that Dewey

      That's gotta hurt.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Well, if you're gonna tell a filthy, racist joke, tell a whopper. That one's a whopper.

  • proudgrampa

    Haha. You said "pajero."

    Weiner is a Wanker.

  • WriteyWriterton

    I suppose I could call all of this purported journalism about politicians' sexual peccadilloes "a race to the bottom," but that would create/invite more problems/stupid jokes here than it would avoid/prevent.

    So, I call…Race to the Bottom!

  • Look "Mr. Weiner," your name itself constitutes sexual harassment. Having to say, "Good morning, Mr. Weiner" creates a hostile, offensive environment for your coworkers. Just stay home and out of trouble. And if you go to the grocery store to buy hot dogs, for God's sake pay with cash.

    • WriteyWriterton

      Same for buns, too, also. Because you put weiners/wieners in…never mind.

  • GOPCrusher

    No self respecting American puts ketchup on a hot dog.

  • WriteyWriterton

    [In movie-preview-narrator's voice] "In a world full of reasonable human beings…"

  • WriteyWriterton

    "Tit for…" wait, what?

    • poncho_pilot

      tit for taint?

  • WriteyWriterton

    A "pop-up for Siemens"? Apop-up for Siemens?

    Have you no shame, sir? At long last, have you no shame?

  • poncho_pilot

    eh, seeing Anthony Weiner's weiner would still be better than seeing Chris Christie's helicopter.

  • Trying to keep with our current 100% weiners all the time meme, out here in the Soviet of Warshington Repube Rob McKenna (and 100% certified weiner) has announced he is running for Gov. We Evergreen Staters are proud to have kept the Rs from the governor's mansion longer than any other state – since 1985. But we're thinking that 25+ years is chump change, and we want to keep the Rs wandering in the political desert for a full Biblical 40 years. So iffin' you have access to any McKenna weiner pictures or Foleyesque emails to Brownies or Cub Scouts, please forward them to Wonkette Jr. for posting here on our Wonkette.

    Thanks in advance for any help.

  • not that Dewey

    I call bullshit. Nobody in New Mexico is "looking good".

  • GOPCrusher

    That's just having a mature discussion about race in this country. Because everyone knows that those darkies are all criminals.

  • horsedreamer_1


    Delafield, Wisc., legislator — I could say more, but after yesterday, I won't — admits that the GOP was bought & paid by the Fraternal Order of (White) Police of Milwaukee.



  • It is just a depiction in cute stuffed cloth of

    a pulsing red vein

  • tcaalaw

    This is turning into a full-scale Weiner purge!

  • not that Dewey

    So messy!

  • user-of-owls

    There's only two ways this trend can go: stale or global. It might get some legs if it goes the latter, e.g.,

    I. Van Dyck (Netherlands);
    Mai Dong (Vietnam);
    Luca Mapini (Italy);
    Imre Liebült (Hungarian)


    • Angry_Marmot

      Zizi Taupe (France)

      • unclejeems

        Dick "Wiener" Nixon. USA USA!

  • DrBobNM

    I wouldn't put anything past the politicians in New Mexico. From either side of the aisle.

    and when has it been harassment to tell someone they are looking good? Crazy PC world we live in.

    • metamarcisf

      It'd be okay if the lady in question had felt comfortable telling Mr. Wiener, "Thanks pal and you look like a shit sandwich". But she'd would've been afraid of being put on admin leave.

      • DrBobNM

        big difference. If she had nothing nice to say, then she should say nothing.

  • Angry_Marmot

    "…The dog-loving community remains sharply divided on the question of who is a good boy. "

  • unclejeems

    Hell, everybody knows you put mayonnaise on a dachsund. Catsup is for les bichons frises.

  • Um…death to Weiners? Will that satisfy people? Or are some people never satisfied by Wieners?

  • widget2011

    I see a comback coming, uniting with republicans.
    Weiner/Santorum 2012.

  • muddypolitics

    At least New Mexico Rep. Martin Heinrich (D) told me he forgives us for giving so much attention to the Palin publicity bus tour, Tweinergate and The Donald's "march of the birthers" campaign, because obviously CONGRESS isn't doing anything that merits the attention of the media or the public >> Confessions of a Politics Junkie: Heinrich Forgives :

  • BZ1

    How hard would you have to look to find a Repub with the name Weiner who also has a wiener problem? BTW, his bio shows that he made his acting debut in two episodes of the TV show “Real Stories of the Highway Patrol.” That alone would leave me at a loss for words…

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