no college for you“GO HOME” is the edgy new Iowa GOP slogan for the young people. When a group of students visited the state capitol to testify about the effects of budget cuts on higher education, GOP State Senator Shawn Hammerlinck told the students, “I do not like it when students actually come here and lobby me for funds,” because democracy is over now and THERE WILL BE NO LOBBYING unless it is done by old men with bags of gold coins. Shawn Hammerlinck does not appreciate hearing from constituents when they want to ask him for money. That is his job, to ask people for money, to elect him, so he can yell at voters. Video after the jump!

“I want to thank you for joining us and though I have to concede, your time speaking before us is kind of a tad intense. It’s probably a pretty new experience. You probably prepared for it for days and you sat there in front of us trying to make sure your remarks were just right, and that’s a good thing. But actually spending your time worrying about what we’re doing up here, I don’t want you to do that. Go back home. Thanks, guys.”

Was Hammerlinck an early victim of education cuts, or did he only sleep through English class so he could use redundancy winners like “kind of a tad” in the face of students who actually want to learn? Sorry, learners, your education was not meant for you to start “worrying” about what your government is up to.

Why does everybody like school so much anyway? Do they like being tortured by SWAT teams? [Iowa Senate Democrats]

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  • Steverino247

    "Trying to make sure the recall petition has just enough signatures and everything is spelled right, that's good."

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Perhaps as an English class or Civics class assignment, like the middle schoolers who petition their state legislatures to get the apple popover declared the official state pastry, or somesuch?

      Except the recall petition actually does some good.

  • harry_palmer

    Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what the fuck you're still doing in this country.

    • I hear from some blogging f(r)iends that Canada and New Zealand are both succumbing to the same plutocrat b.s. we have here in the U.S. of A.

      Maybe Belize would be a nice place to live?

      • LionHeartSoyDog

        "Bahrain is nice this time of year."

        -yer prez

    • guangho

      I feel more Tel Aviv-bound every single day.

      • Ansnarkist

        That's just because the coming rapture is drawing God's chosen people back to the promised land. Don't fight it. It's a good thing.

        • guangho

          What if I'm an atheist?

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Smart move, Shawn Hammerlinck! You've just spawned a new class of IA Democrats! Way to be a condescending dick.

    BTW I bet the soldiers would like to hear: 'Why don't you just go home and leave the worrying and grown up issues to the adults, because you just aren't ready to handle it yet.'

    • Aisai

      I saw you didn't have any pee so I fisted you

      • Texan_Bulldog

        Thank you. Damn troll keeps messing with everyone's p-points. One day we should confound him/her and keep writing "Sarah Palin is a kind, smart, generous goddess."

        • DaRooster

          I can't do that… sorry.

        • ArmoredBore

          Won't do anything. I doubt it even reads the material, as every LIEbrul- man, woman, child, infant, fetus- is irredeemably evil.

        • Callyson

          That statement made me laugh so hard I almost peed.

    • FraAnima

      You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!

    • PsycWench

      Oh, come on. It's not like college student activism has any political effect. Just ask the architects of the Vietnam War.

      • Swampgas_Man

        Yeah, but those kids had to get shot before anybody paid attention. Bring back mob violence as a means of political protest!

  • Hammerlinck: Hookers and blow or hit the road, student lobbyists.

  • Well, so much for the YAF…

    the Kochsucker crew needs to get its message straight on the Youth Vote

  • freakishlywrong

    Hammerlick is quite the douchbag, and with assholes like that as an elected representative of the people, he kind of has a point.

    • Mumbletypeg

      he kind of has a point

      He kind of has a tad of a point.


      • freakishlywrong

        Thank you, Mumblety. Redundant assclown is redundant.

        • ArmoredBore

          Brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department?

          • ChessieNefercat

            "But in this everchanging world in which we live in…"

          • Mumbletypeg

            I thought the same thing, too, whenever I heard that song. But finally I thought maybe instead he's saying "world in which we're living"?

  • prommie

    I for one welcome our new arrogant condescending prick overlords. I think they are enchanting, exquisite, and exhilirating!

    • jaytingle

      I find him erudite and effervescent.

      • LionHeartSoyDog

        …and a tad bit frothy.

        • Negropolis

          Did someone say Santorum?

  • Tundra Grifter

    Reminds me of the good ole days when Boss "I wasn't wrong; I was misinformed" BlunderRush used to tell his listeners on Friday afternoons "Don't read the newspapers; don't watch tv over the weekend. On Monday I'll tell you all you need to know."

  • Iowa–the home of Senator Cornpants where they take learnin' seriously.

  • Lucidamente1

    "Shawn Hammerlinck": one can only imagine what that name led to on the third-grade playground.

    • Spawn Hummerdink?
      Shlong Humpanddunk?
      Shagger Heffalump?

    • Oblios_Cap

      I think most of the GOP is made up of former outcasts who are taking their revenge for being socially ackwark out on the well adjusted folks. I mean, do you think Karl Rove could get laid if not for being in a position of power?

      • Left_Leftie

        Yep. Scott Walker, Bobby Jindal and Eric Cantor definitely got beat up for their lunch money daily. It gets better guys, it does.

    • ChessieNefercat

      ""Shawn Hammerlinck": one can only imagine what that name led to on the third-grade playground."

      A life-long hatred of students?

  • Perhaps the Iowa Rethugs would be more comfortable if all the sessions were closed and held in hospitality suites of the beloved Des Moines Marriott (a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints – Mormon)?

    Downfisty is qwik this morning. Musta done a six-gram line of blow.

  • hollywooddood

    Silly students interested in their government. What did they expect from the Iowa State Clown House? That someone would listen and respect them?

    • ChessieNefercat

      They shouldn't have read (or believed) their civics textbook.

  • Fuck you Iowa studentz, skule din't halp mi on bit!

    Fuk u, i guts my!

    • Mumbletypeg

      I realize this is meant to resemble the ill-expressed, half-witted thoughts of the educationally bereft; but I'm enjoying how it evokes the disfigured speech of one Vincent d'Onofrio in his role as the alien-possessed farmer from Men in Black.

      • ChessieNefercat

        So the Iowa State Senate features a man with the rhetorical skills of a giant alien cockroach wearing an Edgar suit.

        We're screwed, aren't we? Somehow I thought the fall of an empire would be more, well, majestic.

        • guangho

          "So the Iowa State Senate features a man with the rhetorical skills of a giant alien cockroach wearing an Edgar suit."

          No silly, that would be best case scenario.

  • jodyleek

    I wish this student in the video would have worn glasses, so he could have done the old flip-the-bird while pushing them up by the nose piece. Several times and with both hands.

  • DaRooster

    "… leave the circus to us…"

    That's for fuckin' sure.

    • Buckminster

      Hey, Schmuck, your circus is missing a clown.

  • baconzgood

    "But actually spending your time worrying about what we’re doing up here"


    Sheesh. Just shut the fuck up and watch your Dancing with the Stars and Lady Gaga and let me fuck up our education system.

    • Buckminster

      Because, of course, no student will be affected by their assinine decisions about education funding. Sheez!

    • guangho

      That's exactly what they want. And what they're getting.

  • MrFizzy

    "Up here" describes a special place, 18 inches up the asses of the Koch brothers, where Republican tongues can barely reach. Even at the state level, conservatives have all stopped bothering to hide their disdain for the little people, who of course continue to vote for them.

  • PsycWench

    We bitch about college students being apathetic about their political environment and then look what happens when they actually show they care! No wonder they drink so much.

    • baconzgood

      4 dead in Ohio.

    • MissusBarry

      I find keg-stands go a long way to dull the pain of being informed of my irrelevance. Of course, I'm not as young as I once was, so now I rely on Wonkette and whiskey I couldn't afford as a student (days I will surely look back on as boom times, what with the resurgence of trickle-down economics).

  • freakishlywrong

    Shawn is a down fisting motherfucker!

  • Needs moar "bless your heart," if they say that in Ioway.

  • What he said: But actually spending your time worrying about what we’re doing up here, I don’t want you to do that.

    What he meant:

    But actually spending your time petitioning your government and attempting to influence our decisions with logical argument, I don't want you to do that.

    I want you to realize that lobbying is futile so go learn to make bombs.

    • What he meant was: "Now that you're out of the womb, we don't give a fuck about you."

  • EatsBabyDingos

    His half brother, Peter Richard Weiner, said in response, "Yeah, he's the dick of the family."

  • OkieDokieDog

    Yes, their time would have been better spent spray painting graffiti on the school buildings and then breaking into some foreclosed McMansion to have some wild sexy time, and doing fun things like torturing animals and small children, and cooking meth. Or just for lols they could steal Daddy's guns and go shoot up some deadbeat teachers. Then the cops can round them all up and cart them away to a private prison. Yay! Everyone wins!

    • V572 [SSAN]

      Well, they gotta go fight a few tours in the 'stan first. It's not like rich kids are gonna do it.

  • Mort_Sinclair

    Someone needs to help Mr. Hammerlinck remember that he doesn't get to treat his boss that way, that the tax dollars of those students and their parents pay his fucking salary. What an insufferable piece of Republitard shit. Publish his state house telephone number so that his taxpayer bosses can call him and "hammer" home a clue.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I'm gonna feel SO guilty about this (not):…

    • Guppy06

      "Someone needs to help Mr. Hammerlinck remember that he doesn't get to treat his boss that way,"

      You must not have been paying attention when the Census was taken. In this country, the elected choose the electors, once every ten years. Your average state legislator can rape someone's grandmother and still get 60% of the vote.

  • School is where the young-uns larn bout sozialisms.

    School bad!

    • SorosBot

      Not just that, they also learn scientific facts instead of the bible; vile heathens and their truths.

    • calibrit

      As is Napster.

  • "Occupation: Education, Adjunct Professor – Augustana College"

    not much longer buddy

    • zhubajie

      "Adjunct" professor means he's not a REAL faculty member. I know that Augustana is a Lutheran institution and probably requires real degrees and real academic achievements.

  • Weenus299

    I am fucking scared about what's going to happen over the next 20 years. I think I'll tune out and watch I Dream of Jeannie reruns.

    • I don't think fapping (or frigging, if that is what your class of parts requires) to Barbara Eden's navel was what Layne had in mind when he suggested stepping away from the keyboard.

      • Weenus299

        That's a mere bonus. That show was awesome in that, periodically between hijinks, the fuckers went off into space and boldly went places.

    • MrFizzy

      Whacking off over Barbara Eden beats political discourse in this country every time.

  • LesBontemps

    Gee, ya think Sen. Hamerlinck's web page lists his home address and phone number? Sacriest part: Also says "Occupation: Education, Adjunct Professor – Augustana College."….

    • elviouslyqueer

      And this is at least one big reason why Shawn will never ever EVER get tenure.

    • carolinaswamp

      He's probably just cranky because hell would be a cold place before he got a tenure-track position, even at prestigious Augustana College, the Harvard of Sioux Falls.

      • BlueMonkeh

        I think my daughter just got another marketing package from the Harvard of the Dakotas. Instead of emailing senator doesn't give a f**k, I think I'll email the department heads and recruiting contacts at the college and tell them what I think about said adjunct professor.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    I'm sure, Representative, those students weren't worried at all about what was "going on up there." They were probably worried about what jobs they could go to in absence of a college education.

    …that is, the jobs that don't require moving to a foreign land, learning a second language, and foregoing OSHA.

    • DaRooster

      … or killing brown people…

  • Poindexter718

    I can see the douche's campaign ads now. Over soft-focus pictures of the douche, his long-suffering wife and doughy looking kids a lady with a husky voice sez, "When the lobbyists & special interests came to Des Moines looking for a handout, State Sen. Shawn Hamerlinck had a clear message: 'Go home.'"

  • Welcome to the real world bitches! SLAP!

    • What's the surprise here? Unless you leave the womb with a billion dollars in crawling around money, the Repubicans just don't care about you.

      • SarcasticNymph

        Or the Democrats. They serve the same overlords. We don't have representation. (reaches for the Mad Dog)

  • Serolf_Divad

    "It’s probably a pretty new experience. You probably prepared for it for days and you sat there in front of us trying to make sure your remarks were just right, and that’s a good thing. "

    He then continued: "Meanwhile, I roll out of bed, hung over, each morning, pay the hooker who spent the night, pour myself the first of my ten daily glasses of scotch, then stumble onto the Senate floor and mumble unintelligbly whatever GOP talking point was faxed to my office over-night, before exiting to my chambers and welcoming the first in a long line of moneybag corporate lobbysists who stream past my desk each day and dictate legislation for me to propose."

    • V572 [SSAN]

      Don't they just email it to him now? Or to his staff, if he can't be bothered to read his email? Cuz I can't imagine a statesman of Hammerdick's august solemnity actually transcribing (even if someone else peeled back the paper on his crayon) the latest Koch diktat.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Wow. That was beautiful. And probably 100% true.

    • Negropolis

      Come on. This is the end of the thread, right here. I mean, how could you possibly give anymore an accurate description of how modern American democracy works (or doesn't)?

  • Hammerlinck would have preferred to piss directly in their faces but apparently that's not cricket.

    • DustBowlBlues

      Father of two Special Needs boys? (True. I am the only member of the wonkerkatti who reads those personal profiles when I can't get those damn windows off my screen).
      That must be hard work. Just for that, I'm following you. You're welcome.

      • freakishlywrong

        You live in Oklahoma? No, you're not the only one that reads them. For that, I'm following you. And you get a fist.

      • It is tough, and my wife is in nursing school right now and I'm starting my masters in school counseling to relieve myself of the wretchedness that is Corporate America. I just realized nothing I wrote is remotely funny, so in closing TruckNutz, also.

  • JoshuaNorton

    Was Hammerlinck an early victim of education cuts,

    Could be. Since all this time he thought he lived in Ohio.

  • LesBontemps

    You buy as many legislators as you can. That's how.

  • GortRay

    Iowa: Come for the corn, stay for the meth! (Brought to you by the Iowa Chamber of Commerce and Repubelickin' Overlords)

  • Goonemeritus

    Nothing to see here, why don’t you just go home, I here Sony has fixed their gaming network.

  • neiltheblaze

    So – being an arrogant prick to a bunch of future voters gains this cretin what exactly?

    • anniegetyerfun

      Street cred with The Olds? Something about giving those whippersnappers what-for.

    • revmod

      These aren't future voters, they're present voters. In fact, any post-secondary student who could be bothered to dress up nice and testify in front of state legislators is already the sort of person who is going to show up every election and vote. So, yeah, good thinking, Senator Dimwit. It would have cost you so much effort to pretend to give a shit.

  • Dudleydidwrong

    I just emailed the fucking bastard. I was not condescending, however. In the punch bowl of life he is a floating turd: "Run along, kiddies. This is a job for us professionals and we don't need infants like yourselves telling us what to do with your money."

    Maybe we should take a lesson from Wiener and all of us tweet our crown jewels to him.

    • My email bounced back. Coward!

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Maybe it was the subject line you used: "Hey, motherfucking slimeball, suck on THIS!" probably got someone's attention upstream from the intended recipient, even though it was accurate in its description.

        Thus far, my email is still either on dickhead's computer on flying through cyberspace. Maybe when his intern finishes with the blow job he can check the Inbasket.

        Oh, this zit of a politician really makes me mad! (Wife just brought me a scotch: "At 10:20 am you need something to calm you down…")

        • DaRooster

          Nothin' like waiting till the last possible minute… 10:20… sheesh.

    • Virtually teabag this Teabagger? Dudley, that is a wonderfully nutty idea. Nell should do something extra special for you.

    • MissusBarry

      But, would it be creepy for me to tweet him a picture of my junk since I'm not in Iowa? I don't need conservitards internet stalking my internet menacing.

      Also, too, your wife is a good woman. I'm home alone and stuck in a land of self-serve.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Watched the video, skipped the comments. All I want to say is, thank you, Mata Hari-like Junior Wonkette. (Come on. Only in the Dust Bowl is Junior a real name) for putting something other than the Penis-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named story at the top of the wonkette Daily News Feed.

    • axmxz

      it's like a Zen koan: how do you not name a penis that named itself?

    • Angry_Marmot

      Replace a penis with a prick, neither one has a conscience, quelle diffèrence?

  • SorosBot

    How dare those young people interrupt the work of their betters and ask the state legislature to consider their concerns when their job is to help corporations increase their profits and keep the serfs like them in line.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Don't even have to graduate, adds Scooter, across the river.

  • In all fairness to the Senator, they're just little people. He's got the script and it's not like talking to actual 'people' is going to change his mind. In fact it probably cuts into his long lunch or golf time he could be spending with real lobbyists.

    • ArmoredBore

      "Yes, yes, I have heard your plea, little people. Now run alon- AVERT YOU GAZE, PLEBEIAN!!"

  • Dudleydidwrong

    Hammerlinck serves one purpose, which is to make plain what is happening in this asylum we call a nation: the politicians don't want to hear from their constituents because we just get in the way of their work of making themselves and their friends rich. He's the fucking poster child for what it means to go down the drain. He's not an asshole–he's just a hemorrhoid, but a great example of all the hemorrhoids in government and what we've become.

    Not much snark here, but after spending a career teaching high school students that slimy pustule really got under my skin. Scum.

  • CapeClod

    When did Iowa become an ossified Arab plutocracy?

    • GortRay

      It's all about that sweet, sweet high fructose corn syrup. Iowa will rule until someone comes up with a green alternative sticky goo.

    • mumbly_joe

      It must be because of all those soshulist secular Sharia-Muslins, living in IOWA.

    • mumbly_joe

      Actually, on second thought, it's not fair to call Iowa an ossified Arab plutocracy. After ally, they're not the ones who suggested using live ammo on peaceful protestors. That was Wisconsin.

      When will someone bring Democracy to the Middle West, and bring them out of their 12th-century mindset?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        So what's-her-name, the hideous conservatard blonde skank, got the idea from Wisconsin?

      • SarcasticNymph

        Don't look to the Duchy of Chicago and Crown Duke Emmanuel of Fuckenstein for help. He's still busy pulling in tribute from vassal lords as the new ruler of the Lake Michigan realms.

  • freakishlywrong

    If this arrogant prick gets re-elected that will prove my theory that the cons have already figured out how to rig the election. That's why they're just cold showing their true colors. It's a done deal.

    • Nothingisamiss

      Oblios beat me to it. Every time I vote on that damn diebold I wonder if elections will ever be fair in my (red) neck of the country.

  • SorosBot

    That's not an applicable question in a feudal aristocracy like the United States.

  • Mumbletypeg

    You know who else spurned the attentions of a marginalized populace in a blatant display of callous disregard?

    • mumbly_joe

      King Louis XVI?

    • Dave Chapelle?

    • horsedreamer_1

      George R. R. Martin?

    • elviouslyqueer

      Barbara Bush?

    • mumbly_joe

      Wow, downfist is working in overdrive all of a sudden. I can only presume it's because he gets worked up over the prospect of the erosion of the democratic process and installation of an unaccountable oligarchic aristoracy in its place in a manner practically sexual in nature.

      Get off the Republican fiefdom, Spanky!

    • Doktor Zoom

      Havelock Vetinari?

    • GOPCrusher

      Idi Amin?

    • poncho_pilot

      my teacher in 6th grade?

    • Negropolis

      Marie Antoinette?

  • CapeClod

    "And stay off of my lawn on your way home!"

  • Eve8Apples

    Shawn Hammerlinck was the inspiration behind Second Amendment remedies.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Lucky for Mr. Hammerlinck that American students are so…gracious. I mean, if this had occurred in France, students would be swarming the building and taking to the streets with Molotov cocktails, and Mr. Hammerlinck's car would most likely be a flaming wreck.

    • Negropolis

      They'd have also held him hostage in his capitol office. They seem to be really good at that, these days. Don't fuck with a French student or union worker.

      • OneYieldRegular

        Tout va bien.

  • Angry_Marmot

    Money goes in, talking points come out– I can't explain it.

  • axmxz

    Hey, they call it the Grand Old Party for a reason. It's an organization for old people with delusions of grandeur who like to party. One or two out of three doesn't cut it.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Work? Pfft. In Iowa, Michigan, and Wisconsin, it's joined the ranks of the unemployed.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Hammerdick only wants competent, proven business leaders to ask him for money. Giving money to entities that can't kick the requisite percentages back to his campaign is a rookie move and, quite frankly, a waste of his valuable time.

  • Oblios_Cap


    • DaRooster

      Sounds like something I would say… Up with the fist for you.

  • DaRooster

    Fat lot of good that'll do… from home.

  • freakishlywrong

    Isn't "Weinerdog" shorthand for those cute little Dacshunds?

  • I say to Iowa students FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

    And Constance Bannister for the win, Junior.

  • DBB, again I will say that I enjoy these refreshing yarns of yours. In fact, I would back a DBB regular feature as part of Wonkette's posts.

    Also, don't worry, I don't think Anthony's Weiner has come anywhere close to destroying the Democratic Party.

  • mavenmaven

    Or, as he really means to say, STFU and go work at McDonalds or Wal-Mart.
    And once they revoke child labor protection laws, college protester problem solved, its back to good ole 1830 in Merka!

    • Peace in our time

      "STFU and go work at McDonalds "

      Well, that WOULD help our "manufacturing" employment numbers and make us more competitive with China!

  • philpjfry

    yeah, yeah that's it

  • hagajim

    Why is this 12-year old douchebag telling a bunch of potential constituents, who he is supposed to represent, to go home. If he told me that, I might have responded with go fuck yourself asshole.

  • Thurman Munster IV

    Gas, grass or ass, no one rides for free

  • Wut u say, Sntr Grsly? is Hmrlnk dick or wut?

  • Thurman Munster IV

    Someone should pierce this Hawkeye

  • Numbat_Dundee

    Wonkette Junior, I can understand why you're upset, but it's not really cool to post pictures of yourself looking upset with each post.

  • hooray4anything

    Once you find out, can you let the rest of us know?

  • hooray4anything

    I think the student's mistake was not bringing in signs featuring nObama in tribal dress as Republicans have no problem talking to those people.

  • ttommyunger

    "Now watch this drive!"

  • FidoMcCokefiend

    Otherwise known as a Republican.

  • Oblios_Cap

    So, what does any of this have to do with Charley Sheen?

  • notreelyhelping

    Interior Monologue: "You're trapping me here with canned comments I could give a shit about, taking away my precious fundraising time? Why aren't you doing normal college crap, like beer bongs by the pool? Why can't I do beer bongs by the pool anymore? Why did I ever sell that damned Camaro? Whatever happened to Bon Jovi? Why can't we bring back caning?"

  • genxr

    Not if they can stop the students from voting.

  • poncho_pilot

    i just googled Santorum for the lulz–that totally made my day.

  • nonbeliever7

    You look when you pee… you elite, anti-family-values, liberal?

  • genxr

    Don't you hate it when people you disagree with, want to get involved in the democratic process?

    • guangho

      That's why I embrace 2nd Amendment remedies.

  • GOPCrusher

    Well, the Iowa Legislature has been held hostage for five weeks over when they normally adjourn, over budget "negotiations". Braindead and the Republiklans in the House want to change how the education budget is set, so it can only be set every other year, instead of annually. The Democrats have dug in their heels and is not letting up.
    Last night, it was reported that the House Republiklans passed a 300,000 dollar corporate property tax reduction at the expense of education, and what turns out to be the most anti-abortion bill in the United States.
    Of course, both of these bills will never see the light of day in the Democratically controlled Senate, but it shows the Republiklans care nothing about actually passing a budget, but are more interested in advancing their social agenda.

    • WIDTAP

      Nice of the Iowa State Republicans to screw the revenue streams for many Iowa municipalities.

  • poncho_pilot

    let them go home…
    …and eat cake.

  • mumbly_joe

    I got bored before I read too far into the article, so I'm just going to assume that an equally valid description would be, "Santorum admires North Korea, Red China, calls for Google to institute something similar in America."

    Seriously, why does he hate freedom, and also too capitalism and free market principles, so much?

  • Callyson

    Really, it would be a lot easier (not to mention better) for everyone if Shawn Hammerlinck went to a home instead:
    Iowa Mental Health Resources

  • joobajooba

    It's much easier to deal with people who want to lobby you when they come to your office, with checks for your PAC.

  • lochnessmonster

    Guess he kinda sorta forgot they are voters as well as students…

  • Redhead

    Well duh. Students aren't voters, so they shouldn't have rights. Unlike corporations.

  • Dudleydidwrong

    Our Favorite Frothy Fellow has made a real name for himself. As one of the comments on the page put it:

    Why did his parents give him a name that is synonymous with ass ooze? He could have chosen better, more thoughtful parents. That's what freedom is all about. His head is oddly shaped. Maybe that explains it.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Batshit/Ass Ooze 2012!

    • fuflans

      ok which wonketteer posted that comment?

    • Negropolis

      That. Is. Awesome.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    In part 2 of this lesson in Iowa civics, the class will visit another GOP representative, but this time they'll bring a cash campaign contribution. They will then prepare a written report in which they 'compare and contrast' the experiments.

    The sharp ones will grow up to be Republicans.

  • FlipperAZ

    It's more fun W/ sexism added:
    "why should a pretty girl like you worry about such things? Why don't you go shopping?"

  • I always close my eyes when I pee. Makes it more exciting. It also gives my plausible deniability the next morning when my wife asks why everything in her closet is soaked in urine.

    • riverside68

      Two thoughts:
      Another dick where a woman doesn't want it story
      If your wife accepts your denial, did it ever occur to you that it might be because there are other men in the house that you may not know about?

      • As long as they're willing to take out the trash and mow the lawn, I can live with it.

  • horsedreamer_1

    I don't think the GOP firebrands were much cooler-headed in '95 — Newt said some pretty outrageous things, Dick Armey had designs on the Grover Norquistian (sounds really fey) future, & eventually, they got turned out. I am hoping it's all just a little bit of history repeating.

    (If you notice, Dems never have to woodshed as long as Reps. 'Cause they don't overreach — even if, say, AHCA is called "overreaching" (by Beltway hacks who have nice bankrolls & good (employer-provided) insurance) — when they win, even when big, at that. (Big, as Obama's margin was in '08. I mean, if Bush had a mandate after sneaking past the post vs. Kerry, then Obama should have been made an automatic two-termer, exempted from re-election, he beat Mc Cain so handily (by comparison, especially, to Bush's margins in '00 & '04).)


    Shawn Hammerlink sounds like he he's enjoying the transition from Frat president to State Senator. What is he, 26? What an idiotic douche.

    P.S.: transcript writer, he obviously said "political theater" not "political fear".

  • chascates

    And ladies, don't worry your pretty little heads about these complicated things like your choices about sexual reproduction or the education and health of your youngin's.

  • Hey! I resemble that remark.

  • fuflans

    here's some thoughts for you shawn:

    1. you are a state senator in IOWA. you are not important.

    2. you look like the dictionary picture for the entry 'douche'.

    3. you have the stupidest public servant (see what i did there shawn?) name since 'Shelley Sekula Gibbs' who – come to think of it – looks like a noble winner compared to you.

  • MrFizzy

    By the way, Hamerlinck anagrams to Ham Crinkle. Seems more or less correct.

  • Rotundo_

    He gets points for honesty. At least he wasn't fake attentively listening to them and acting concerned and then laughing at their naivete after they left and voting to cut their funding further. He straight up honestly told them he doesn't want to hear from them, doesn't care about them or their viewpoints and would appreciate it if they just fucked right off, never to be heard from again, unless a satchel of cash was in their hands with his name on it. On one level, repulsive and condescending, but on another, refreshingly free from the usual kabuki performances of republican politicians. Mind you I would vote for a rabid skunk if it were on the ballot against him. But he is at least straightforward in being an utterly soulless smarmy sack of dogshit.

    • snoopyfan2010

      You're insulting dog poop.

  • MinAgain

    That question assumes that it does work. I'm not sure these kids would agree.

  • MinAgain

    That sound you hear? The Founding Fathers, spinning like bunch of freakin' tops.

  • guangho

    But tell us how you real feel.*, **

    *Actually, don't. We don't care. Can you donate $25 to the Iowa GOP?

    ** If you persist in such uncouth behavior, you will be incarcerated.

  • owhatever

    Humpty-Dumpty, according his own bio, is a "Youth Field Specialist in the Iowa State University Scott Country Extension office where he develops youth programming and oversees programs such as 4-H."

    So this guy makes his living sucking up tax dollars and doesn't want any black Freedom Riders and Outside Agitators coming in to upset his own little sweet money deals.

  • a_pink_poodle

    Yeah it's not like this current generation will eventually grow old and pass away while the next generation will have to attempt to repair the damage!

  • BZ1

    The "go home" slogan was for the undesirables, right? like…

  • zhubajie

    That's a pretty weird photo in his home page. He looks like he's being buggered by a beer bottle or something, and enjoying it.

  • Negropolis

    That's some Grade A, corn-fed bullshit, right there, is what that is. And, well, if you think you're going to get me to believe that Hammerlinck is an actual name, well, you got another thing coming.

    Dude's been huffing straight-up, 100-proof ethanol, methinks.

  • Negropolis

    Honestly, what was this guy's occupation prior to being elected? 'Cause being an adjunct professor don't pay the bills. He must feel really lucky he got elected, or he'd be in the same shape as those students about to graduate.

    Question answered:

    For the past several years Senator Hamerlinck has worked as a Youth Field Specialist in the Iowa State University Scott Country Extension office where he develops youth programming and oversees programs such as 4-H.

    So, you were getting payed by government before? Oh, and this:

    Shawn Hamerlinck is no stranger to politics having served two terms as a Davenport City Councilman.

    Oh, so you were getting payed by government then, too? To think, this guy's going to have a healthy pension once he leaves office.

  • guangho

    I understand that geography may not be the strong suit of most Americans but you do realize that T.A. is quite a bit up the road from Gaza, right?

    • Negropolis

      Of course I know that. My point was that all of these areas is cited as places always under danger of being attacked (Gaza from Israel and Tel Aviv from the West Bank). Whether rockets can actually reach Tel Aviv or not, Israel constantly whips up its people into a fear that Tel Aviv is in rocket range of the West Bank.

      To put it more shortly, you don't brag about moving from one country with compromised low-term security, to another country who's low-term security is also compromised. You might as well have said you were moving to Gaza, an area with perpetually compromised security.

      • guangho

        Well if the fellows on the W.B. and in the now officially Judenrein Gaza (because all great democratic societies are premised on forbidding the presence of minorities) put on their thinking caps and get creative with aid money they could definitely build some nifty artillery.

        But that's not the point. America may be a super secure society or may not, but politically it resembles a S. American junta more and more each day.

  • Buckminster

    Hammerlinck: Go home, we don't want to hear about representative democracy.

  • calibrit


    Gerontocracy Over Participation

  • SonofSpermcube

    You can come and ask me for money, but I expect a portion of that back.

  • SarcasticNymph

    Only sometimes, dear? hahahahaha

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