Oh sorry for this late update to the tawdry spectacle of yet another man who can’t keep it in his pants. Congressman Anthony Weiner’s wife is pregnant, presumably with his spawn, and also a bunch of Internet websites are posting pictures of his dong (released from its boxer-brief prison). This is all very gross! Can you blame us for having dinner first?
Do you want to see a picture of a man’s penis, on the Internet? Well then go anywhere on the Internet, and you can see that. It helps to say you’re a girl, and that you want to have a “date.” OH WAIT, you want to see Anthony Weiner’s weiner? Well here’s a blurry picture of someone holding an iPhone showing a picture of a man’s naked penis. Double grossness: This is supposedly Andrew Breitbart holding an iPhone with a picture of Anthony Weiner’s weiner.
Anything else? Yes, the gross congressman/former cable-news television star liberal apparently put that peen in his wife at least once, recently, when he wasn’t taking pictures of it to put on Twitter. And now, Mrs. Weiner is pregnant, according to important international war newspaper the New York Times.
We’ve been trying to think of a “positive spin” for this story, and here it is: Anthony Weiner’s grand ambition was to become mayor of New York City and then tear up the city’s network of bike lanes. So, he can go fuck himself. NO WAIT there is another laff to be had: Andrew Breitbart is super upset that these radio DJs took a picture of his iPhone picture of Weiner’s weiner, and then the DJs sent it all around the Twitter and the Greater Internet, depriving Breitbart of his opportunity to tease another week of news coverage out of his secret stash of cock shots on his iPhone. THE END.
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The moral of the story, kids? If you aspire to a real career in journalism, never keep pictures of wieners on your iPhone (especially if they are of somebody else's weiner).
Is there anything else on Breitbart's phone?
No, I think the moral of the story is, if you manage to land the hot Muslim woman, knock her up BEFORE you make a complete asshat out of yourself, so she'll be less likely to just leave you.
Hey, waitaminute…
I have an iPhone.
I have a penis.
I have a Facebook.
Maybe I should… ?
No. No, no, wait. I don't think that would be a very *good* idea.
(See, Rep. Weiner? This is how it's done. It's really pretty easy.)
I wouldn't exactly call Breitbart a real journalist… He's not coming out of this much better than Weiner
Only a pussy like Breitbart could be so obsessed by cock.
Wrong – people enjoy pussy and think it's cool.
Well it IS Whip-em-Out-Wednesday!!
Jesus, wait until Breitbart discovers ChatRoulette. There's a whole WORLD of dicks out there, Andy, just waiting for YOU!
He's gonna wear out both wrists in the same night… one from fapping and the other from taking notes on who he thinks it is and is gonna rip on tomorrow.
Just as Breitbart suspected, Weiner takes a sharp left turn.
I personally blame teh Wonkett for this entire sad mess, because you know what it is that they say around here all the time: "Pics or GTFO." Anthony didn't want to GTFO, that's all.
Enough of the weiner libel already.
Oh, and congrats Huma and Tony!
Indeed. Cyberspace and Meatspace are separate for a reason. It's like crossing the streams.
Shouldn't a "sex" scandal actually involve sex? I'm just saying…..
Well, the left pointing is right, but that collection of greens doesn't seem to reflect the mangarden Weiner maintains. Now can we talk about why it is on Breitbart's spankbank of a phone?
Not without the gag reflex kicking in.
Perhaps it isn't wise to mention the gag reflex in a discussion of erect members*. It may not be taken in the way you intended.
* I made a funny!
Finally the other shoe (i.e gray briefs) has dropped. And Wonkette is the last to give it coverage (get it, coverage?) Yes, a tawdry spectacle it has been. Anthony Weiner out-grosses the Wonkette
.
Is Breitbart still not gay?
Would a gay guy have a picture of another dude's junk on his phone?
Whatever the case, Riley is insanely jealous.
Would anyone? Seriously, porn on phones mystifies me. When are you going to use that? "Damn, they blocked youporn again, and my shift doesn't end for another 2 hours. Time to go into the electrical room at work and spank to low-res images on my iPhone!"
For those really slow elevators.
He's saving himself for that special someone (Mr. Coulter).
He's still SAYING he's not gay. Closeted, I believe is the phrase.
I read somewhere there's a picture of Breitbart holding Weiner's cock while talking to people on the radio machine.
By the way, "Mrs. Weiner" actually goes by her maiden name. Good call on her part.
Also by the way, her maiden name is Huma McKneedangler.
Thanks for that. I needed a true laugh out of this tawdry mess.
It's Hillary's love-child!
Now that's just sick.
"Anthony Weiner’s grand ambition was to become mayor of New York City and then tear up the city’s network of bike lanes"
hahahahhaaahHAAHAHAHHHAAA. This makes it even MORE sweet. Fuck yourself, Weiner!
Judging from the pictures I've seen he might be able to do just that.
No snark. Just sad. Perfect time for a safe, legal abortion.
That's not snark?
Please disregard any comment from me that contains the phrase "no snark." Thank you for your patronage.
#notintendedtobeasnarkfreecomment
You know, any time is the perfect time, really.
I think I'm pregnant, too – I just barfed all over my keyboard. Nope, false alarm – no morning (?at night) sickness – it was just seeing the iPhone pic.
You know who else is pregnant?
Kim Kardashian?
Michelle Bachmann? (#26)
Chloe Svegny?
Mrs. Hitler?
Man Coulter?
To quote "Junior", "…just 'cause your egg's in some guy doesn't make you the mother."
I never thought I would get anything positive out of that viewing experience.
Aw, you beat me to it.
Just like Coultergeist probably beat the father *into* it.
irony
My hairdresser?
The Late Ethel Spawnfrog?
Pause.
anticipation?
Willow? Just in time for Lou Sarah's nomination bus tour?
That's not Willow… http://www.sarahpac.com/posts/the-american-spirit...
She misspelled Twat at the bottom of that post.
Not me. Please, God. Not me.
Ming the Merciless?
(I'm doing a little owl utilization on the side.)
Ahnuld's 10th maid?
And his 9th, 8th, 7th, 6th, …., etc. etc.
Jesus?
Mary?
Joseph.
The Donkey?
All of them, Katie.
Obviously this was a gotcha question.
Which is good news for John McCain.
Silence.
Weiner should have waited till his wife had cancer to sext his stuff all over the place. Doing so while she is merely pregnant is so jejeun.
If only Weiner had cheated on his wife with another woman while the wife was in the hospital, he could run for the GOP nomination. It's the party of family values.
That scenario appears to be male, rather than party, affiliated . . . sigh
Could be worse, he could be the goatse guy
Unappetizing weisswurst.
I really thought it would be bigger.
Also, is it just me or is Andrew Breitbart a little too happy to have a picture of Anthony Weiner's rod and tackle on his cellphone?
No, Tanz….Andrew Breitbart will never be happy.
Those banger(s) and mash barely qualify as a suitable fig leaf for the wiener in question. Is spotted dick up next in your arsenal of clipart?
Fer crying out loud, if you can't trust a couple of shock jocks, who CAN you trust?
I hope that kid grows up to beat Breitbart's kid in a future presidential election.
It's gonna be a tough battle, fighting off the 25 (?26) Bachmann children and the gawd-only-knows how many grandspawn of Palin for the big prize.
I thought the meek were supposed to inherit the earth — not the brain weak.
I hope that kid grows up to beat Breitbart's kid, period.
They are going to grow up to have hot sex together and drive all the parents nuts.
Hmmm…. as I recall, Romeo and Juliet both died in the end. Not exactly a win for the kids.
Dear lord, no. Look at the two of them: http://assets.nydailynews.com/img/2011/06/07/alg_...
With his nose and her teeth, this can be the only possible result: http://www.guyswhocuttheirownhair.com/images/uplo...
Oh, the Huma-nity.
Maybe Vitter will do an "It gets better" video for Tony.
Dunno about "gets better". David Vitter wakes every morning and he's still David Vitter.
Can we just post pictures of Huma instead of all these sausages? Because, well, that's what I'd rather look at.
Hubba, hubba, Huma, Huma!
My thoughts exactly!
Where's the NUMA NUMA guy when you need him?
I believe that's a Bangle.
Yep. Here's the real deal. Note how exquisitely long her limbs are.
A symphony of dick's. Many penises, also.
Does anyone really believe that Breitbart doesn't know where all cameras are at all times? (except when he's drunk)
Exactly.
So you're saying, he never knows.
the moast tawdry aspect of all this is the redemption of the Breit…
…a man with a penis on his phone (not his own.)
He'll get his…don't worry.
At last – a reason to keep going. I only wish to see this before I die.
I think the whole pious, "I will not reveal the picture out of concern for his family" and then releasing it within 24 hours kind of undercuts his redemption.
And anyone who listens to his breathless, brimming with envy/arousal description of the 'member of congress' is going to be put off, to say the least.
So penis week/month/summer continues……
Endless Cummer. It's what we do here.
Well, hopefully, it's better than 2001's Summer of the Shark, 'cause that shit was awful.
I didn't know you could get pregnant from coming into contact with semen on the iPhone keys.
Me neither! Not sure being male is enough protection from pregnancy, so I'm gonna be extra careful. Maybe I won't use iPhone at all and stick to a good olde fashioned "blower", as they used to call 'em.
I keep looking at that picture at the top and my brain can't quite seem to process what it is exactly I'm looking at.
Whatever it is, it looks like it's been processed.
No truth to the rumor that the kid's name will be Jack, after his father.
What is Anthony's favorite barbecue entree?
Wow, Breitbart got punk'd by Opie and Anthony? How did they even exist in the same room together without the world exploding in a fireball of smarminess and misogyny?
God, I'm sick of puritanical America. This is none of our fucking business.
except–the guy posted those photo on the Internets which makes it public record
Mmmm, what's that smell in the air? Oh yeah. Roasted Weiner.
I wish, burnt-to-a-crisp and dumped-on-the-flaming-coals weiner is more like it.
How much will somebody bet me that there is more than one man's penis on Breitbart's phone.
How much will somebody bet that there has been more than one man's penis on Breitbart.
Add "at the same time" and you might just have a wager someone might take.
Nothing, You win by default.
The eternal question, updated…How many penises can dance on a cellphone?
With Breitbart? Many.., many.
In honor of the zygote, I had tri-tip instead of weiners for dinner.
Know what this place needs? A whole lot more Weiner. Weiner, Weiner everywhere, and not a drop to drink.
Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif. said, "I just view it with great surprise and dismay. That's all I can say." –AP
What did she expect, Rocco Siffredi?
This is sad…time for some SNL fun… http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/08/jimmy-fa...
News flash: some members of Congress have a penis!
Some might say the problem is that too many of them have one…
The problem is that too many of them think with one
Why is there a hookworm on that plate?
I hope Weiner's wife makes him pay every day for the rest of his life. I really do,
Jeez, imagine the reaction if he'd actually fucked someone else.
The public humiliation aspect of this adds that certain je ne sais quois that turns this into a lifetime of paying.
I'm surprised that a man with Breitbart's experience is holding it so gingerly. He must really like it.
Okay, Junior (or whatever your REAL name is). I took a quick look at the blurry photo (sadly, not blurry enough), didn't look at it long enough to realize that was Breitbarf back there and don't intend to look at it again.
Thanks for doing this. I hope Ken is giving you hazard pay.
We're done with Weiner now, right? Because thinking about how effective a liberal he was and how hopelessly he has fucked himself and, worse, the Democrats and the liberal in the upcoming elections just makes me sad.
It's a little like the way I feel when I see Spitzer and know that no one would have been more knowledgeable nor more front and center on the financial meltdown than he.
What the fuck is wrong with men? Liberal or conservative, they are a bunch of douches. Present company excepted, of course.
Until present company proves otherwise.
We come to the Wonkette comments specifically to BE douches!
He wasn't an effective liberal. He had no major role in any progressive legislation. He voted for the Iraq War. He sucked AIPAC dick every chance he got. And any advocacy from him was going to end in 2012 anyway, once he finally blowharded his way into being NY Mayor. Spitzer way, way outclassed him in terms of actually getting shit done.
The guy has always been a hack. He's the nominally left-wing equivalent of Michele Bachmann.
And yet, still more effective than Kuschinich, who is reliably liberal, yes, but can always be trusted to vote for Democratic legislation where his vote didn't matter, and oppose it from the left when his vote *would* make a difference.
FWIW, Weiner at least understood the importance of effective messaging (present examples notwithstanding), and could occasionally push the the frame of conversation to the left at times when Kuschinich, by contrast, would simply let his position be defined as the leftward extreme. Honestly, if I ever met a politician on any level with Kuschinich's ideological consistency, and Weiner's erstwhile messaging savvy, I'd make it my fucking life's goal to get them in the White House. And either of their hotwives, also, too.
Kucinich has at least sponsored interesting and useful new legislation, instead of going all "We're going to investigate GLENN BECK! That's a thing you liberals want, right??" And he voted for HCR when his vote was needed there.
But I only hold Kucinich in higher regard than Weiner because the former isn't a bigoted warmonger. There are other high-quality liberal legislators, but they don't get national attention because they're too busy legislating instead of self-promoting.
Tee hee, you said "penis."
"What the fuck is wrong with men?"
I had a Catholic nun ask me that back in 2008. I'm still trying to work out a coherent answer.
personally, i blame newell for everything.
I always blame Canada. It's the safest bet.
Too much gin in the ginger?
The good news is that this is the last we'll have to hear about this epic goatfuck because it couldn't possibly get any worse now, could it…
Don't bet the farm on it.
also: i'm kinda bored with this story. it wasn't very good to begin with and there's no actual sex and weiner isn't a hypocritial bloviate (no offense wonkette 'bloviate') and i don't really care if he stays or goes or runs for mayor or keeps jabbing repubs in congress or crosses the brooklyn bridge and i imagine somebody like breitbart will eventually turn out to have an entire closet full of poisoned snakes that he's had the grossest kind of sex with and maybe ken's parting advice was the best: leave the internet.
except for banking of course.
Weiner's wife is pregnant. Breitbart has picture of Weiner's nekkid wiener. Even if all this weren't true, it ought to be. It is just that horribly classic.
Any cockshot in Breitbarf's possession would naturally fall under the "self portrait" category, considering.
Ol' Andy's goal is to be the Machiavelli for a potato(e) penis – a dicktator.
Looks more like a closeted dick-licker.
Apparently, you CAN get pregnant from getting a man's peen pic on Twitter, now?
@humasuterus
I read that as Huma Sutra.
I hope to God Huma can turn sadly to Anthony, and in total honesty say, "Sorry, dear, it's not yours. Buh Bye!"
And I hope the daddy's younger, hotter, and better hung. And much less fucked up.
I can dream, can't I? Can't I??!
And still absolutely no one in the country is talking about Clarence Thomas lying on his financial disclosures for years, and lying about egregious conflicts of interest that should have forced him to recuse himself.
And no one is talking about Ginni Thomas's open, gleeful, and very profitable influence peddling.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
Breitbart should prance around on an aircraft carrier in a flight suit and an extra large compensating cod piece.
Hello! Is this thing on? Hello!?!
*crickets*
Guess I'll get the lights on my way out.
I'll tell you one thing, before you leave the stage, there may be a reason the media is focused (eww) on wiener genitals rather than images of those miscreants Clarence and Ginni Thomas (eww'er).
But seriously Raven, you are not alone.
A belated thanks for the link.
Please help me start a meme – every time someone brings up Weiner, bring up Thomas. Then Ensign, Sanford, Vitter, Gibbons, Foley, Gingrich…
"Is that an iPhone with a picture of my Thuringer in your pocket, or are you just happy to have seen me?"
Poor Anthony. Murphy's been working overtime on his behalf.
Somewhere in North Carolina, in some 40,000 square foot tract monstrosity on a bulldozed hill, John Edwards believes there's a god and that said deity is looking out for him.
Nah, he just got indicted. He's too buys freaking out with his attorneys to care about some weiner pic.
"I'm too pretty to go to prison!"
"That's not a good excuse."
"What about those short people? What do you call them? Kids! My kids! They need me."
Sorry, guys. Don't have anything else to add. I only care about one wiener, right now, and it's my own. It's the one that needs my TLC, at the moment. Sorry Tony, you're going to have to get your jollies, elsewhere, tonight.
P.S. "international war newspaper" is a phrase oozing with WIN.
P.S.S. In the absence of better candidates (I'm talking about you Bill Thompson), NYC would in fact elect this post-Weinergate Anthony Weiner mayor. That, I'm pretty comfortable in predicting.
If only wiener was a wonkette reader, all the Palin stories would have kept him flaccid and still in office…
I am not clicking on that link and you can't make me.
That's exactly my response to this. I honestly don't care, anymore. Not even a little bit. I've seen enough Hebrew Nationals in my life that I'd not get anything out of see another.
I love Rachel. She just paraphrased Dickens on Letterman in concerns to whether she still enjoys her job having to cover the freak show that is 2011: "It was the best of times; it was the freaking. best. of. times!" I don't know what I'd do without my Rachel. That's what I love about her, not even really that we mostly agree on almost everything, but that she genuinely loves what she does. She exudes that joy; and you can tell like other talking heads that will not be named that she's not playing some kind of character. It's insanely satisfying and refreshing to see something like that now.
Thank you for that, I am glad to hear someone nice is enjoying themselves in the middle of all this, and making other people happy too.
Did Letterman try to flirt with her?
(Hey, Drew Barrymore has (at times) identified as bisexual, so you never know…)
Occam's razor and all that: the simplest explanation is that Weiner's wife was trying to help Weiner take pictures of his weiner for the twitter, and accidentally got pregnant because she was doing it wrong. Then Breitbart showed her how it's done. But by then it was Too Late. So the important message here is: Kids, sext safely!
Why does my local bakery have a blurb on the penis phone photo page? Weird.
Looks like a chicken will Brietfart taste it for proof?
The only positive thing I take away from this is that Weiner is a horrible liar. It's almost as though he doesn't know how to lie.
Which would make him a halfway decent politician, I'd think.
No. Might make him a halfway decent person, but a lousy politician.
How did Breitbart convince Weiner to hang out his hooter so he could take a pic of it? Hasn't Weiner seen that picture of Breitbart humping pool Riley?
I am so not looking at that picture. Hey, I understand there's something going on in Syria…
That pic looks like a hoity-toity Brooklyn 'artisan' wiener with organic macrobiotic double-dung prunes and some kind of St. John's Wort infused bbq garbitch sauce (expensive 'cause it's retro '90s!) that may or may not do anything except clear your wallet.
Is the picture blurry 'cause Brietbarf is practicing safe sext and has a condom on his phone?
And if we're gonna share pictures, here, and Brietfart is the one on the right.
I think I have the answer to political sex scandals. Why don't we just elect women for a while and let the men think about what they've done? When they're contrite enough, we start electing people of both genders again.
Honestly, think about how many female politicians have been involved in sex scandals. You can count them on your fingers, unlike the men who require NORAD style computational power.
Nikki Haley apparently screwed that state GOP guy. That's one.
Sarah Palin apparently screwed her husband's business partner, but at this point she counts more as a celebutard than a politician so I'm not going to count her.
Who else? None of the most recognizable female politicians at all. Maggie Thatcher, nope. Nancy Pelosi, nope. Nancy Kassebaum, nope. Barbara Mikulski, nope despite some trying by one of her political opponents (her long time friends is a BELGIAN!). Dianne Feinstein, nope. Barbara Boxer, nope. Olympia Snow, nope. Mary Landrieu, nope. Shirley Chishom, nope. Susan Collins, nope.
I could offer you a very rude explanation given most of the examples you gave that'd reflect the sexism that permeates our culture that'd explain such a disparity, but I won't, though, I do know I'm not the only one thinking it, 'cause I'm fuckin' klassy like that.
You think the great majority of male politicians are attractive looking?
No, at least not necessarily physically, anyway. But I think we all know in our lopsided society that men have more prospects for a whole host of reasons, some complicated, some not. Also, men and women are trained from a very early age to express and use their sexuality differently, and we have different scales that we put each gender on. The attainment of power seems to only increase the attractiveness of women as a partner up to a certain point, whereas there seems to be no limit for men.
On another point, I'd love to take you up on your initial challenge, though: putting more women in Congress. I have a theory that a not insignificant part of this apart from the social aspects and differences of men and women has to do with women simply being ridiculously underrepresented in Congress. One should only expect the vast majority of men to be in these types of scandals given that only about 17% of the House is composed of female legislators.
I also think that these women, particularly those of the older generation, had to overcome some huge hurdles that their male peers didn't. I suspect the experience might have made them more protective of their reputations and images.
All that said, I do believe if we had anything near parity between the genders in Congress that I'd still be the men who in large part would have the sex scandals. (warning: incoming stereotyping) Men are hardwired to think that their junk is awesome, women not so much. Men and women also mature differently. A man's midlife crisis, if he has one, might involve a red sports car or a motorcycle. Dare I suggest a fling or thoughts of a fling with a younger woman. Basically, he's advertising his reproductive fitness. A woman's midlife crisis, if she has one, might involve a face lift, big diet or workout, or a new wardrobe. She's trying to gain back supposedly lost ground. Different mindset.
Well, there was Helen Gahagan Douglas, a Congressional rep from California in the 40s. She was smeared as being a "pinko", but also effective was tarring her as a "thespian". She also openly had an affair with Lyndon Johnson (it is said), but that was in the days when affairs weren't widely reported upon. In those days no one wanted anyone else rummaging around in their own closet.
Lyndon Johnson probably had a prostate the size of an orange and this was pre- little blue pill. If the affair is true, I hope Lady Bird took a branding iron to his arse.
Oh, she did. They were into it!
Jesus!
It's like Breitbart can't let this non-scandal scandal go, but has to keep bringing it up and staring at a picture of Weiner's weiner, saying "just once more, just once more, don't let go just yet." It's almost like Breitbart gets off on staring at Weiner's weiner, but I know THAT can't be it…
I am just exhausted from making Weiner, Koch and Boehner jokes. Can someone please, please, please find some juicy scandal on someone named Pussie or Bube or Elbeau?
does every politician have a scandal just waiting to be exposed by corporate whorebags? I guess they're all really rock stars like Mick Jagger…
Honestly, my favorite part about the new piXXX is how Breitbart claimed that he wasn't going to release them, out of "respect for the parties involved", as though that were ever even remotely something that motivated him in any decision, ever.
I wonder what happened, that they got "leaked" in this way. Breitbart must have been hacked- I hear that's been going around lately.
As much as I hate it, I actually find myself agreeing with Glennzilla on this topic. Why is this newsworthy? We used to at least try to pretend that there was a newsworthy angle to delving into politicians' sex lives. With Vitter, Foley, Ensign, Spitzer, Edwards and Clinton, there were allegations that their affairs and the coverups thereof entailed criminal acts. With Ensign, Foley, Massa, and Clinton, there was the extra ethical morass of fucking/harrassing subordinates. With Vitter, Ensign, Foley and Sanford, there was the contrast between their political positions and their personal conduct, and in the latter case, a healthy dollop of dereliction of duty topping it off.
Weiner sexted some ladies, who he had no professional relationship with, on the Internet. Nothing to date has suggested the advances were unwelcome or that laws were broken. Hell, no actual sexing happened, so even claiming that infidelity to marital vows is innately newsworthy involves assuming facts not in evidence about how Anthony and Huma understood the conditions of their relationship: "flirt all you like, but don't embarrass me" isn't completely unheard-of for some couples.
'Don't embarrass me' FAIL.
Well, yes, that's the thing. And honestly, if it is the case, I expect he'll be kept on a tighter leash going forward.
But, with everyone knowing that this sort of thing is a problem for alpha types -which politicians largely are- it would hardly surprise me if some political couples, particularly of the more liberal persuasion, perhaps quietly adopted a somewhat less stringent definition of fidelity, particularly along the lines of "no actual cheating, and try to cover your fucking tracks, but…"
Or maybe not. But this is also why speculating about what something like this means for a couple, and trying to extrapolate from that some sort of far-fetched reason why a consensual… whatever it was between adults somehow proves unfitness for office is rather instantly fraught. There are only two people with any idea of what this actually means for their relationship; the rest of us are just seeing things as though they're concealed by a layer of fabric. Or hazy and blurred, blurred as though viewed as a cell-phone photo of another cell-phone photo. I lost track of what I was saying there.
Upfisted.
Help me start a meme: Every time anyone mentions Weiner, bring up the fact that Clarence Thomas just released records showing that he'd been lying on his financial disclosure for 20 years, concealing his wife's lobbying income, and direct conflicts of interest which should have forced him to recuse himself in multiple cases.
Then ask them which they think is worse.
Somehow we need to work the Koch brothers into this. Get it? Weiner? Koch? oh never mind!
Yeah, except the Koch brothers say their name like "Coke," not the other thing.
I want to know why David Vitter is not getting more scrutiny.
After all of this "weiner! wiener! pecker! dick! weenie!" bullshit, coupled with the seemingly consistent story that he's been physically faithful to Huma, I believe it is time to revisit Diaper Dave.
FIVE YEARS LATER:
"Dad, where do babies come from?"
"The Internets. When a man and a woman love each other very much, they send pictures of their doodle and their hoo-hoo to one another …"
Really, now, how do we know that's really Weiner's weenie? Wouldn't an upstanding man like Andrew Breitbart just have hundreds of photos of penises on his phone?
A fairy tale for our times:
Bright and attractive young woman marries gross much older guy who is a third-rate celebrity with the trappings of power. Guy turns out to be even grosser and more of an egomaniac than she bargained for. She has his baby and they all live happily ever after.
Good lord…Wonkette has become a sausage fest.
I know that I'm late to the game here but that is the most disgusting picture Wonkette has ever posted.
Now Sarah can get back on the bus.
Enjoy.
I think I understand why this happened. Wiener just really really wanted to be on The Daily Show. Anyone remember the quote from Wiener claiming that the show had a "corrosive effect" on his business:
In NY Mag:
'…it’s like, “Well, my audience wants to watch a congressman do a dumb thing,” and then the audience laughs at the congressman doing a dumb thing, and then Jon says, “Hey, I got a great scam here, lemme go find another congressman doing a dumb thing,” and where do I get in? Where do I get in not doing a dumb thing? Not being a bozo?'
A scandal, no. Maybe, a kinky hang-up. David Carridine literally had a kinky hang-up.
Only in Tijuana.
Or maybe women are more likely to seek out powerful men to fuck than vice versa?
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