THIS WILL WORK OUT JUST FINE  5:06 pm June 8, 2011

New Kansas Concealed-Carry Gun Permit Policy: No Policy

by Wonkette Jr.

In the evolution-free state of Kansas, lawmakers have decided that when it comes to concealed-carry gun permits, “no tests whatsoever required, probably let’s just mail permits to our constituents with the Christmas card” is a better policy than asking people to prove they can hit a few targets at close range. People can figure out for themselves whether they’re “capable” of carrying around a concealed gun, lawmakers said. Self-regulating gun licensing, this has always been a no-fail idea.

From the Kansas City Star:

Rep. Richard Carlson, a St. Marys Republican, said law-abiding citizens should be able to decide for themselves whether they are capable of carrying a concealed weapon. He conceded that his approach could lead to people being licensed to carry guns without being able to pass a basic firearms test, but said it didn’t concern him.

“We tend to look for all the reasons why someone should not be qualified to carry concealed, but actually I think we should look for the reasons why they should be qualified,” he said.

We like his optimism. People are their own best judges. How about driving tests? Those are a pain in the ass, do we need those? Pilots! They are tested way too much. We need to find more reasons to give people pilot licenses. Planes practically fly themselves these days, anyway. [Kansas City Star]

 
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{ 188 comments }

nounverb911 June 8, 2011 at 5:09 pm

Now they can have a skeet shooting contest during half-time at the next KC Chiefs game.

metamarcisf June 8, 2011 at 5:16 pm

Aim at Cassell.

Lascauxcaveman June 8, 2011 at 5:26 pm

What's this got to do with a football team in Missurruh?

metamarcisf June 8, 2011 at 5:27 pm

Half the crowd at Arrowhead (the drunken half) are from the KCK area.

Lascauxcaveman June 8, 2011 at 5:38 pm

"The Drunken *Half*?".

Lol.

horsedreamer_1 June 8, 2011 at 6:43 pm

Todd Haley is winning that one, bro.

memzilla June 8, 2011 at 5:10 pm

CCW permits with no qualifications. What could possibly go wrong? …. unless you're an abortion provider, of course.

Negropolis June 9, 2011 at 1:22 am

CCW permits with no qualifications, but aborton permits with almost every fuckin' kind of qualification/restriction.

ttommyunger June 8, 2011 at 5:10 pm

Dorothy: "Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore!" Toto: "Thank you, Jeebus!"

fuflans June 8, 2011 at 7:10 pm

i was going to make an oz joke, but you get here way before me.

cheers!

ThankYouJeebus June 8, 2011 at 8:15 pm

My thoughts exactly.

ttommyunger June 8, 2011 at 9:38 pm

But of course!

hagajim June 8, 2011 at 5:10 pm

News flash: Sudden outbreak of penis' blown off by assholes shoving guns in their belts. Story at 11!

nounverb911 June 8, 2011 at 5:16 pm

Well, that dickless wonder Breitbart's safe.

ifthethunderdontgetya June 8, 2011 at 5:56 pm

I support this message.

BTW, hagajim, I saw someone who looked just like your avatar at the Giant Eagle in downtown Columbus today.
~

hagajim June 8, 2011 at 6:42 pm

That's a bit scary. Might have 2a change avatar now.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 8, 2011 at 6:34 pm

Excellent! They can qualify for a Darwin Award, and still show up to collect it in person. That's a win-win.

Negropolis June 9, 2011 at 1:24 am

It's called a "Witchita vasectomy", down there.

JackObin June 8, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Kansas; the gateway to Oklahoma.

weejee June 8, 2011 at 5:12 pm

Can you click your Glocks together three times and not be in Kansas anymore?

trondant June 8, 2011 at 7:48 pm

No! As long as the Glocks don't touch it's not gay!

mayor_quimby June 8, 2011 at 9:37 pm

You can, but at least one of them will probably go off, and you'll end up Plaxico'd.

Negropolis June 9, 2011 at 1:26 am

Who the fuck names their child Plaxico? I mean, WTF, man?

Don't let mommies name children drunk.

V572 [SSAN] June 9, 2011 at 4:12 am

Lawyer Milloy approves of your comment.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawyer_Milloy

nounverb911 June 8, 2011 at 5:13 pm

The Secret Service must love this. It could get interesting during campaign season.

SorosBot June 8, 2011 at 5:13 pm

You know, I haven't seen Barb the last couple days, and "How about driving tests? Those are a pain in the ass, do we need those?" sounds kind of like one of her comments; hm.

nounverb911 June 8, 2011 at 5:14 pm

Maybe Barb really is Wonkette, JR.

weejee June 8, 2011 at 5:20 pm

Or Extemperanus, or Imissopus has only had like one.

imissopus June 8, 2011 at 5:25 pm

Man, I wish. I need the work.

Lascauxcaveman June 8, 2011 at 5:50 pm

You coulda done it, buddy.

AJWjr. June 8, 2011 at 5:19 pm

She's back in Vegas, dog help her.

[redacted]hse June 8, 2011 at 8:33 pm

Stripping again and hooking to support her habit, the same as Sharron Angle?

V572 [SSAN] June 9, 2011 at 5:54 am

Las Vegas is a snark-free zone, such a ridiculous parody of itself that it is impervious to sarcasm. Thus, no Barb. BTW, she's betting on Extemporaneous as Wonkette Jr.

AJWjr. June 9, 2011 at 10:24 am

I live an hour or so northwest of Vegas, well within it's sphere of influence. And Extemporanus has been my guess, too. Not that I'm a gambling man.

ShaveTheWhales June 10, 2011 at 1:55 am

I assume Barb has spent the last few days in ecstatic contemplation of Lord McCartney. And, as for driving tests: here in maximally socialist California, the baseline test to purchase a handgun is to keep your index finger outside of the trigger guard while you are either flipping open a revolver, or ejecting the clip and clearing the chamber on a semi-auto. The baseline test for a rifle or shotgun is "sign here".

Note to self: buy more ammo.

rambone June 8, 2011 at 5:14 pm

Let the Dunning-Kruger Effect decide!

AJWjr. June 8, 2011 at 5:15 pm

What about those pesky opthalmologist's boards?

nounverb911 June 8, 2011 at 5:18 pm

Nah, if you fail you can always start your own. Isn't that right "Dr." Paul?

RadioJr. June 8, 2011 at 6:42 pm

That's Senator pesky Board-Certification to you, Jr.

flamingpdog June 8, 2011 at 10:05 pm

Nah, I just can't see it.

metamarcisf June 8, 2011 at 5:16 pm

Why does Wonkette Jr. hate the Constitution?

FraAnima June 8, 2011 at 5:17 pm

Cuz, geez, it's so hard to get a gun license! You have to take a 6 hour fundamentals class and pass a background check. Unfair! There's nuthin in the 2nd amendment about that! Dam commies tryin to take away our god given right to not take tests or pass background checks.

ArmoredBore June 8, 2011 at 5:37 pm

Our God-given right to wield the Devil's Invention. And I'm NOT talking about Twitter or the embedded .midi file.

slamtundra June 8, 2011 at 6:04 pm

Devil's right hand.

metamarcisf June 8, 2011 at 5:17 pm

Barb in Las Vegas to avoid the forest fire smoke and catch a rock concert. No internet in Vegas.

AJWjr. June 8, 2011 at 5:24 pm

Paul McCartney is hardly "rock", but whatever…

V572 [SSAN] June 9, 2011 at 4:31 am

Watch what you say, as "Ari" Fleischer once warned. I got smoked pretty good a while back for calling Sir Paul England's answer to Pat Boone.

ShaveTheWhales June 10, 2011 at 1:59 am

Lord Fucking McCartney, please.

harry_palmer June 8, 2011 at 5:18 pm

You're allowed to keep your brains concealed too. Most people in Kansas either do that or don't bother packing them.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 8, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Concealed brains aren't much help when some gun-toting cretin finds a reason to splatter them on the sidewalk.

GunToting[Redacted] June 8, 2011 at 5:18 pm

Yeah, and I walked into a gun shop a few months ago right after one of our newly "empowered" blew a round through 2 aisle racks, a stuffed buffalo head, and into the wall.

Gopherit June 8, 2011 at 5:21 pm

Yeah, who knew carrying a round in the chamber could be dangerous? Darwinnowing will take out the weak ones.

genxr June 8, 2011 at 5:32 pm

Actually in this case Darwin will take care of the person standing next to the weak one.

RavenRant June 8, 2011 at 6:45 pm

A lot of corpses dressed in "I'm with Stupid" t shirts.

weejee June 8, 2011 at 5:18 pm

Wyatt Earp wouda made you check yer gunz, just sayin'.

fishskicanoe June 9, 2011 at 1:17 am

Actually thats right. Towns like Dodge City had pretty strict gun control laws. But don't worry. Kansas will soon start requiring gun training courses when the few minorities in the state start to carry weapons too.

ShaveTheWhales June 10, 2011 at 1:47 am

That was pretty much the whole Wyatt Earp legend, no?

DaRooster June 8, 2011 at 5:19 pm

I do however think they should have to get licenses to breed.

widestanceroman June 8, 2011 at 5:19 pm

Given the appalling lack of concern for safety/human life, if they open a new firing range in Westboro, I just might lose control and like it.

MrFizzy June 8, 2011 at 5:19 pm

Ban abortions and encourage guns. Another proof of Barney Frank's quip that conservatives value human life, from conception to birth.

SayItWithWookies June 8, 2011 at 5:19 pm

Also, Kansas restaurant workers should decide for themselves when they're going to wash their hands. Do we really need big government regulations to tell people they can't go back to slicing meat at Quiznos after they've just wiped their asses? I think Kansas deserves some relief from the burden of food safety — especially its legislators.

elfgoldsackring June 8, 2011 at 5:23 pm

It's the petri dish of democracy in action.

Chet Kincaid June 8, 2011 at 5:36 pm

Don't wash the Invisible Hand! It is Naturally Selecting those too dumb to eat in a sanitary restaurant.

MrFizzy June 8, 2011 at 8:54 pm

Quizno's uses ass meat anyway – it's just a matter of degrees.

ShaveTheWhales June 10, 2011 at 2:00 am

Pissin' in the sandwich…..

GunToting[Redacted] June 8, 2011 at 5:19 pm

I'm a "gun guy." I do occasionally carry. Trust me when I say that people who know ANYTHING about guns are against this decision. All of my shooting friends hate the new permit-less carry laws.

HistoriCat June 8, 2011 at 5:51 pm

GGINO!

Steverino247 June 8, 2011 at 7:05 pm

Let me guess. It's because they know how much work and training it takes to carry safely and they take gun safety very seriously. They know the average dolt shouldn't be around anything with a bolt.

V572 [SSAN] June 9, 2011 at 5:40 am

Elitist. Permit-less CCW democratizes opportunistic murder, and ensures that nobody gives you the finger if you cut them off in traffic.

elviouslyqueer June 8, 2011 at 5:20 pm

“We tend to look for all the reasons why someone should not be qualified to carry concealed, but actually I think we should look for the reasons why they should be qualified,” he said.

I would never, ever advocate violence. But if Kansas decides that firing rounds at the Westboro Baptist Church is an appropriate test for conceal carry qualification, then who am I to argue?

/neverevereveradvocatingviolence

assistantatlas June 9, 2011 at 12:24 am

Here's a little local color for ya: one of the favorite pastimes of bored Topeka teenagers is throwing rocks at the Westboro Baptist compound. I can only imagine what they'd do if they had guns. Of course, if the Westboro folks had 'em too….

Fuck. I am never back there ever again.

ShaveTheWhales June 10, 2011 at 2:01 am

Well, I'm certainly verklempt. Unless you be talking mortar rounds.

FlownOver June 8, 2011 at 5:20 pm

Around here we call it "Jared's Law."

weejee June 8, 2011 at 5:20 pm

Send in Brietfart, he certainly sucks big time.

teebob2000 June 8, 2011 at 5:21 pm

Guns don't kill people, fucktard Republican state officials kill people.

gullywompr June 8, 2011 at 5:31 pm

Fistworthy.

GuanoFaucet June 8, 2011 at 5:21 pm

Kansas may be the first state to win a Darwin Award.

[redacted]hse June 8, 2011 at 6:07 pm

Please, please, please.

donner_froh June 8, 2011 at 5:21 pm

“We tend to look for all the reasons why someone should not be qualified to carry concealed, but actually I think we should look for the reasons why they should be qualified,” he said."

One reason a person should be qualified is if he wears a jacket that covers a shoulder holster. Since the weapon is concealed he qualifies.

A boon for the jacket makers of Kansas.

i_AM_ready June 8, 2011 at 5:23 pm

Usually I get all worked up about the NRA controlling everything, but I can't seem to feel any interest in this story. Mainly because I don't plan to ever be in Kansas, so if they all want to shoot each other, why should I worry my beautiful brain about it, as Battleax Bar once said…

RavenRant June 8, 2011 at 6:51 pm

That unbelievable quote needs to be used more often.

And by 'unbelievable', I mean sociopathic.

elfgoldsackring June 8, 2011 at 5:23 pm

Evolution-free? That's funny, I think we're about to see some real rapid evolution.

DaRooster June 8, 2011 at 5:26 pm

Rat-a-tat-tat…

Rotundo_ June 8, 2011 at 6:32 pm

Like leaving a crate of hand grenades with chimps, the loud booms and carnage will continue until they figure out how that works or they become extinct. Problem solved.

Steverino247 June 8, 2011 at 7:07 pm

The Quick and the Dead? No, wait! That's bayonet fighters…

Chillwaver June 8, 2011 at 5:23 pm

"Rep. Richard Carlson, a St. Marys Republican, said law-abiding citizens should be able to decide for themselves whether they are capable of carrying a concealed weapon."

So Rep. Dick wants more freedumz….who's the one with the wiener problem now?

Biel_ze_Bubba June 8, 2011 at 6:54 pm

Yeah – Jared Loughner decided for himself.
Tell me again how that worked out, Carlson, you shameless NRA-owned fucktard.

ifthethunderdontgetya June 8, 2011 at 5:25 pm

Have all the fine, snarky responses been taken already?

Thought so. So I'll just lead the chant:

USA! USA! USA!

This whole fucking country is trying to win a Darwin award, and by golly, I think we can!
~

MrFizzy June 8, 2011 at 8:58 pm

I'm just wondering if there's a prize. Maybe a gift certificate of some sort. Chinese carry-out?

DaRooster June 8, 2011 at 5:25 pm

“We tend to look for all the reasons why someone should not be qualified to carry concealed hold public office, but actually I think we should look for the reasons why they should be qualified,” he said.

fixed

nounverb911 June 8, 2011 at 5:26 pm

What about when you mess with Texas?

SayItWithWookies June 8, 2011 at 5:40 pm

Then Rick Perry begs the Federal government to declare it a disaster area so he can get free help, after which it's back to the secession talk. Rinse and repeat.

Arken June 8, 2011 at 5:26 pm

You can make her know it. With your gun.

SorosBot June 8, 2011 at 5:27 pm

Because of all the concealed guns, soon it may be the case that all Kansans are is dust in the wind.

[redacted]hse June 8, 2011 at 6:39 pm

Don't breathe the yellow air.

gullywompr June 8, 2011 at 5:27 pm

Clearly, there's no qualifications to be a Kansas Republican

Biel_ze_Bubba June 8, 2011 at 6:56 pm

You get to decide for yourself if you want to be a Kansas Republican.
That's working out really well, innit?

savethispatient June 8, 2011 at 5:27 pm

In Washington State, you don't have to pass a firearms safety check, as far as I can see, but they do at least do a background check. Next time I have $60 burning in my pocket, I may go get one, for giggles…

imissopus June 8, 2011 at 5:28 pm

This is good news for the Clutter family!

Too soon?

Lascauxcaveman June 8, 2011 at 5:29 pm

This will help prosecutors in other states solve the problem of their overcrowded prisons: early parole for gun violence convicts if they agree to serve their entire parole period in Kansas. Where they'd be welcome, because of guns!

AJWjr. June 8, 2011 at 6:57 pm

Awesome–and we can make 'em wear a reflective vest and surveyor's mark tattooed on their forehead, to make 'em easier to identify. I'm sure some highway workers may be confused with felons due to the vest thing, but really, who cares about those leeches, anyway?

bordo2 June 8, 2011 at 5:30 pm

Ah, Kansas. Arizona with commodities. Never been there. Never will. Fuck all you crazy Kansans. Please stay out of my state.

horsedreamer_1 June 8, 2011 at 6:48 pm

Driving I70 to Denver seven years ago wmas the most boring two days of my life.

assistantatlas June 9, 2011 at 12:27 am

In fairness, though an extremely endangered population in-state, there are cool people who are FROM Kansas… the ones who know enough to get the fuck out of there as fast as they can.

donner_froh June 8, 2011 at 5:31 pm

A friend moved from Michigan to AZ recently. In Detroit and the area around it you assume that everyone is armed and is prepared to shoot you for any (or no) reason at all. Road rage turns into gunplay very quickly.

In AZ, she feels, everyone carries a gun–including a lot of them openly–but for some reason they seem to use them less–not as many shoot-outs.

Not sure if she is right or not, of course.

Gopherit June 8, 2011 at 5:34 pm

Depends on where. No highway sign is safe, of course.

GunToting[Redacted] June 8, 2011 at 5:36 pm

The signs are asking for it.

savethispatient June 8, 2011 at 5:40 pm

"Don't tread on me" also extends to "Don't tell me to yield".

AJWjr. June 8, 2011 at 6:34 pm

It was in my way…

Negropolis June 9, 2011 at 1:35 am

No you just didn't type that and then conciously decide to post that here.

DaSandman June 8, 2011 at 5:32 pm

Mother of God.

So are the right wing just gonna change into fucking zombies one morning and start chasing after the thinking people like in the movies?

metamarcisf June 8, 2011 at 5:33 pm

Breitbart's apology:

"This morning, I showed a photograph, which our source claims Weiner sent her, to radio hosts “Opie and Anthony” of the Sirius XM radio network on my mobile device. Somehow, without my knowledge or permission, apparently a picture was taken of my mobile device, and subsequently published by Opie (Gregg Hughes) on Twitter."

I feel bad for Mr. Breitbart as he was taken advantage of much like the Chinese were during the rape of Nanking.

Doktor Zoom June 8, 2011 at 6:28 pm

Yeah, funny how if you show the pic to everyone you meet in the course of a day, somebody goes and puts it on teh internets.

OneYieldRegular June 8, 2011 at 6:53 pm

"Somehow, without my knowledge or permission, apparently a picture was taken of my mobile device, and subsequently published by Opie on Twitter, and then when I told Opie that that was SO not cool that was MY photo and MY insurance policy and then asked him to say he was sorry and he was all like, no way, and I had no choice but to de-friend him on Facebook and then I said I'd get on Twitter to tell everyone what he did and that I was also taking back my vow to be BFF and he'd better return my 'Twilight' DVD also or else."

Christ. Is there an adult in this country? Somewhere? Anywhere?

OneYieldRegular June 8, 2011 at 5:33 pm

Well, it's progress of a sort. First they reject evolutionary theory, then they let any neanderthal carry around a weapon. Pretty soon they'll be waving mammoth femurs at each other while fighting over scraps of giant sloth meat.

pinkocommi June 8, 2011 at 5:36 pm

I hear you can carry all the guns you want in Ivory Coast at the moment. Maybe Rep. Richard Carlson should go do field research there and let us all know how that is working out.

gef05 June 8, 2011 at 5:41 pm

Today we are all Albert Schweitzer.

Come here a minute June 8, 2011 at 5:51 pm

Pilot licenses? This is the perfect example of how free-market regulation is best. After a pilot crashes a few planeloads of people, the free-market will surely do its job, and there'll be one less incompetent pilot out there. Problem solved! And no expensive, wasteful FAA.

genxr June 8, 2011 at 5:56 pm

Exactly. If airlines didn't have to spend so much complying with FAA regulations they could hire more people (to replace the dead ones) and create jobs!

flamingpdog June 8, 2011 at 5:59 pm

John McCain could have saved himself a lot of pain and anguish if the free market had taken him out of the skies after crashing two planes.

AJWjr. June 8, 2011 at 7:03 pm

Jammacann wasn't a free market pilot, he was a soshulist gummint pilot.

fartknocker June 8, 2011 at 5:53 pm

This seems a tad hypocritical given that Kansas Governor is a staunch Pro-Life advocate and has worked tirelessly to ban abortions, limit funding for Planned Parenthood and yet, he signed a law allowing any yahoo to carry a concealed weapon.

Kansas and Arizona are starting to sound like Somalia with a bunch of white folks.

horsedreamer_1 June 8, 2011 at 6:58 pm

Mohammad Farah Adid for Governor.

Seriously, I do not care that he is dead. And not an American. Make it happen, Jayhawks.

real_dc_native June 8, 2011 at 9:12 pm

I think you're insulting Somalia with that comment

flamingpdog June 8, 2011 at 10:21 pm

I guess every day is International Talk Like a Pirate Day in Kansass and Arizona, now.

bordo2 June 8, 2011 at 5:58 pm

Somali pirates have more honor than Republicans in either of those shitty states.

mavenmaven June 8, 2011 at 6:01 pm

"but actually I think we should look for the reasons why they should be qualified"
Except black voters. They should be screened very carefully before being allowed to vote.

genxr June 8, 2011 at 6:54 pm

We're talking about important rights, like carrying a gun to ward off your insecurities. Not something as trivial and inconsequential as voting!

Callyson June 8, 2011 at 6:07 pm

Bleeding Kansas: The Sequel.

weejee June 8, 2011 at 6:10 pm

And to think they hung John Brown just for wanting more gunz.

Oh! Wait! There's a song there…

♪♫ Andy Brietfart's lard ass is a-moldering in Teatard haze,
And, Rush Limbaugh's lard ass is a-moldering in Teatard haze,
Everyone…
Glenn Beck's lard ass is a-moldering in Teatard haze,
And their bullshit marches on ♫♪

RavenRant June 8, 2011 at 6:09 pm

Once again, my theory that a brain virus/brain eating parasite is making people stupid(er) is vindicated.

Sub-theory: It thrives on corn syrup.

flamingpdog June 8, 2011 at 6:09 pm

This is good news for the Kansas State Board of Education-approved (http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster) Flying Spaghetti Monster.

DahBoner June 8, 2011 at 6:13 pm

Sure, just filling out the paperwork is a de facto IQ test.

But did they consider the average Teabagger could just ask his wife to come out of the meth lab and fill it out for him?

DahBoner June 8, 2011 at 6:14 pm

Karry on my wayward son.–Kansas

petehammer June 8, 2011 at 6:15 pm

Meanwhile, on the "left coast"

"her constituents have been asking how the woman accused of Kilcullen’s killing, Cheryl Kidd, was able to buy a gun legally even though she had a developmental disability and was once diagnosed with schizophrenia."
http://www.registerguard.com/web/newslocalnews/26

MrFizzy June 8, 2011 at 9:01 pm

Having a developmental disability is what makes you want to buy a gun.

Peace in our time June 8, 2011 at 6:24 pm

The USS Constitution carried 56 guns:

30: 24 lb Long Guns
24: 32 lb Cannonade
2: 24 lb Bow Chasers

If it's in the USS Constitution, it should be legal for each of us.

genxr June 8, 2011 at 6:56 pm

Bartender! I'll have a tall cannonade with a bow chaser. (turns to girl) Hey babe, wanna see my long gun?

Steverino247 June 8, 2011 at 7:24 pm

The oldest commisioned warship still afloat.

Hey, how many cutlasses and flintlocks are aboard?

Peace in our time June 8, 2011 at 6:25 pm

What's wrong with fringed trousers?

Tommmcattt June 8, 2011 at 6:28 pm

That's it in a nutshell, yep!

BlueStateLibel June 8, 2011 at 6:29 pm

People are going to need those guns when the SWAT teams burst in looking for missed student loan payments and overdue library books. But it all sounds good: increasingly militarized, error-prone police force and heavily armed citizens. Let the games begin.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 8, 2011 at 6:30 pm

I believe that the 2nd Amendment requires a "well regulated" militia.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 8, 2011 at 6:37 pm

That bit is written in invisible ink — at least is is in the teabagger and NRA versions.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 8, 2011 at 6:34 pm

I personally applaud this decision. This is why I didn't mess around with the Bar Exam or Law School or anything like that. I felt I was qualified to practice law. What else does it take?

RavenRant June 8, 2011 at 6:41 pm

Loincloths?

horsedreamer_1 June 8, 2011 at 6:44 pm

Most GOP (males) are.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 8, 2011 at 6:46 pm

I'm sure there are reasons why you should be qualified. Kansas just needs to look for them.

AJWjr. June 8, 2011 at 6:49 pm

I'd say more jerbs for the rest of us, but we all know the Scooter Militia are all on disability, anyway…

AJWjr. June 8, 2011 at 6:53 pm

I expect to see a lot of cold dead hand-pryin' goin' on in Kansas.

RavenRant June 8, 2011 at 6:57 pm

This could work out a little differently than they think.

As things continue to go to shit, the class war could get a little more war-y.

James Michael Curley June 8, 2011 at 6:57 pm

There are three components to flying a plane. Taking off – easy; Flying from point A to point B – easy; Landing – well, as Mr. Loaf said "Two out of three ain't bad."

genxr June 8, 2011 at 6:57 pm

pew! pew!

horsedreamer_1 June 8, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Rock. Jay hawk. Chalk outline.

Steverino247 June 8, 2011 at 7:02 pm

May I suggest Alabama or Missouri this time of year?

Pithaughn June 8, 2011 at 7:14 pm

This is a direct result of the whiteys fear of people of color, I says. But, unless white birthrates stop trending down, they aint no amount of guns in the world is gonna make them feel superior any more.
A Dr of aerospace engineering told me that he still get's called a nigger in Wichita a couple of times a year. He is of Indian descent. His great grand parents left India for merica to take a shot at the American dream. It is very discomforting for a redneck, poor, ignorant hick to have to serve a darky that is clearly way ahead in material wealth. They just cannot understand why that nigger has a good paying job and he don't.
But having a rod provides something to fondle when those feelings start to get him down.

MrFizzy June 8, 2011 at 9:04 pm

Yep, and the fact is that you ain't never gonna cure that disease. Why anyone with anything more than a half-tan would move to the middle of this country is a total mystery.

Warpde June 8, 2011 at 7:14 pm

Can't wait for the first "Kansas man's balls accidentally shot off by concealed weapon" story.
5.4.3.2….

MinAgain June 8, 2011 at 7:22 pm

Kansas. Because Tennessee gun laws are apparently not stupid enough.

fuflans June 8, 2011 at 7:52 pm

that, sir or madam, is sheer brilliance.

gullywompr June 8, 2011 at 9:08 pm

Yes, it is, but not my brilliance.

orygoon June 8, 2011 at 8:00 pm

So sad for the people who live in Lawrence. All the ones who I met when I went through that town were good folks, clinging to the ideals of anti-slavery activity and populism.

It can't be enough, though.

NYNYNY June 8, 2011 at 8:33 pm

Kansas: Two Men Enter, One Man Leave. Sell those as license plates–> become rich.

[redacted]hse June 8, 2011 at 8:40 pm

Those truly incapable of handling concealed carry can be recognized by the frequent visits to Wonkette.com on their PC's.
Don't get me wrong.

Redhead June 8, 2011 at 8:42 pm

The only requirement will be a background check to prove that you're not on Welfare. Can't let the poors have guns.

MrFizzy June 8, 2011 at 9:02 pm

I cannot say with certitude that the swinging appendage is mine.

real_dc_native June 8, 2011 at 9:27 pm

Toto, I have a feeling we SHOULD GET THE HELL OUT OF KANSAS. Where is that good witch? GOOD WITCH? Why did she ever send me back here?

BornInATrailer June 8, 2011 at 9:43 pm

I'm getting the feeling my concealed carry permit would not be viewed kindly 'round these parts.

BZ1 June 8, 2011 at 9:49 pm

Obviously Carlson's cheery optimism has to be applied to all endeavors: brain surgery, for one, and there should be an obvious candidate…

owhatever June 8, 2011 at 10:05 pm

I would like to announce the opening of my store in Kansas — We Sell Guns & Shit to Any Dumbass. We believe that everybody is a law-abiding citizen until they blow away another law-abiding citizen…or two or three or a bunch in a school.

Left_Leftie June 9, 2011 at 12:36 am

Not that I ever was going to visit Kansas, but now I know I will never visit Kansas.

Negropolis June 9, 2011 at 1:18 am

Is Kansas still burning witches? 'Cause last I heard, they were still burning witches.

“We tend to look for all the reasons why someone should not be qualified to carry concealed, but actually I think we should look for the reasons why they should be qualified,” he said.

This tells you absolutely EVERYTHING you need to know about this nation's gun lobby, and general policy on firearms. EVERYTHING.

God forbid that liberals start composing (ironic, maybe?) campaigns to arm every man, woman, child and pet. Then they'll start wanting to restrict the right. Wait, I think I may be onto something…

Lascauxcaveman June 9, 2011 at 1:18 am

Good Heavens! I hope you're at tleast collecting payment upfront, before the surgery commences! Otherwise, I'd have to damn you for a mere hobbyist.

Negropolis June 9, 2011 at 1:32 am

Oh, you guys; calm the fuck down, already. This is just Kansas' interpretation of ObamaCare's Death Panel mandate. Different states will choose different solutions.

Negropolis June 9, 2011 at 1:33 am

No, it's the one that deals with (polar/grizzly/koala/panda) Bear arms.

Negropolis June 9, 2011 at 1:38 am

How else are good, God-fearin' Kansans supposed to repell the British if they can't, uh, fire those warning shots, and um, ringin' those bells?

Negropolis June 9, 2011 at 1:40 am

Camilla Parker Bales (of Hay)?

donner_froh June 9, 2011 at 2:27 am

Why the long face, Camilla?

Negropolis June 9, 2011 at 1:43 am

I think I just strained a lung muscle. I'm so going to hell for that.

chascates June 9, 2011 at 2:07 am

Just ring a bell and start blastin'!

MiniMencken June 9, 2011 at 3:56 am

Koch Industries headquarters are in Kansas. Jus' sayin'.

V572 [SSAN] June 9, 2011 at 5:49 am

Bloody Kansas II: Now with assault rifles and machine pistols. This time it's serious.

skytrucker June 9, 2011 at 8:16 am

Republicans like to refer to themselves as the party of Lincoln: Now there's someone who would clearly have approved of Kansas' response. I'm surprised gun dealers don't use his image to sell product the way car dealers do. Go figure.

dailyworldwatch June 9, 2011 at 10:54 am

Totally off topic…but meanwhile, a fourth war started… http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeq

outragedcitizen June 9, 2011 at 4:46 pm

From now on, I give Kansas a wide berth. Oh, and the cops in Kansas have to just LOVE this idea!

FraAnima June 10, 2011 at 6:58 am

Serious answer – Connecticut. Plus a shitload of background checks and paperwork. But that's all it took to get mine. It's scary easy. Easier than getting a fucking drivers license.

-oh wait, I see what you're saying now…you mean it's even EASIER than that to get a license in the non-commie states like Arizona. YIKES!

imissopus June 9, 2011 at 12:31 am

Sir, you are too kind. I grant thee many upfists and whore diamonds.

Negropolis June 9, 2011 at 1:27 am

You coulda been a contender.

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