this will work out just fine

New Kansas Concealed-Carry Gun Permit Policy: No Policy

In the evolution-free state of Kansas, lawmakers have decided that when it comes to concealed-carry gun permits, “no tests whatsoever required, probably let’s just mail permits to our constituents with the Christmas card” is a better policy than asking people to prove they can hit a few targets at close range. People can figure out for themselves whether they’re “capable” of carrying around a concealed gun, lawmakers said. Self-regulating gun licensing, this has always been a no-fail idea.

From the Kansas City Star:

Rep. Richard Carlson, a St. Marys Republican, said law-abiding citizens should be able to decide for themselves whether they are capable of carrying a concealed weapon. He conceded that his approach could lead to people being licensed to carry guns without being able to pass a basic firearms test, but said it didn’t concern him.

“We tend to look for all the reasons why someone should not be qualified to carry concealed, but actually I think we should look for the reasons why they should be qualified,” he said.

We like his optimism. People are their own best judges. How about driving tests? Those are a pain in the ass, do we need those? Pilots! They are tested way too much. We need to find more reasons to give people pilot licenses. Planes practically fly themselves these days, anyway. [Kansas City Star]

About the author

Wonkette Jr., everybody! Hooray!

View all articles by Wonkette Jr.
What Others Are Reading

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


  1. nounverb911

    Now they can have a skeet shooting contest during half-time at the next KC Chiefs game.

    1. Negropolis

      CCW permits with no qualifications, but aborton permits with almost every fuckin' kind of qualification/restriction.

  2. ttommyunger

    Dorothy: "Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore!" Toto: "Thank you, Jeebus!"

  3. hagajim

    News flash: Sudden outbreak of penis' blown off by assholes shoving guns in their belts. Story at 11!

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Excellent! They can qualify for a Darwin Award, and still show up to collect it in person. That's a win-win.

    1. mayor_quimby

      You can, but at least one of them will probably go off, and you'll end up Plaxico'd.

      1. Negropolis

        Who the fuck names their child Plaxico? I mean, WTF, man?

        Don't let mommies name children drunk.

  4. nounverb911

    The Secret Service must love this. It could get interesting during campaign season.

  5. SorosBot

    You know, I haven't seen Barb the last couple days, and "How about driving tests? Those are a pain in the ass, do we need those?" sounds kind of like one of her comments; hm.

      1. [redacted]hse

        Stripping again and hooking to support her habit, the same as Sharron Angle?

      2. V572 [SSAN]

        Las Vegas is a snark-free zone, such a ridiculous parody of itself that it is impervious to sarcasm. Thus, no Barb. BTW, she's betting on Extemporaneous as Wonkette Jr.

        1. AJWjr.

          I live an hour or so northwest of Vegas, well within it's sphere of influence. And Extemporanus has been my guess, too. Not that I'm a gambling man.

    1. ShaveTheWhales

      I assume Barb has spent the last few days in ecstatic contemplation of Lord McCartney. And, as for driving tests: here in maximally socialist California, the baseline test to purchase a handgun is to keep your index finger outside of the trigger guard while you are either flipping open a revolver, or ejecting the clip and clearing the chamber on a semi-auto. The baseline test for a rifle or shotgun is "sign here".

      Note to self: buy more ammo.

  6. FraAnima

    Cuz, geez, it's so hard to get a gun license! You have to take a 6 hour fundamentals class and pass a background check. Unfair! There's nuthin in the 2nd amendment about that! Dam commies tryin to take away our god given right to not take tests or pass background checks.

    1. ArmoredBore

      Our God-given right to wield the Devil's Invention. And I'm NOT talking about Twitter or the embedded .midi file.

  7. metamarcisf

    Barb in Las Vegas to avoid the forest fire smoke and catch a rock concert. No internet in Vegas.

      1. V572 [SSAN]

        Watch what you say, as "Ari" Fleischer once warned. I got smoked pretty good a while back for calling Sir Paul England's answer to Pat Boone.

  8. harry_palmer

    You're allowed to keep your brains concealed too. Most people in Kansas either do that or don't bother packing them.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Concealed brains aren't much help when some gun-toting cretin finds a reason to splatter them on the sidewalk.

  9. GunToting[Redacted]

    Yeah, and I walked into a gun shop a few months ago right after one of our newly "empowered" blew a round through 2 aisle racks, a stuffed buffalo head, and into the wall.

    1. Gopherit

      Yeah, who knew carrying a round in the chamber could be dangerous? Darwinnowing will take out the weak ones.

      1. genxr

        Actually in this case Darwin will take care of the person standing next to the weak one.

    1. fishskicanoe

      Actually thats right. Towns like Dodge City had pretty strict gun control laws. But don't worry. Kansas will soon start requiring gun training courses when the few minorities in the state start to carry weapons too.

  10. widestanceroman

    Given the appalling lack of concern for safety/human life, if they open a new firing range in Westboro, I just might lose control and like it.

  11. MrFizzy

    Ban abortions and encourage guns. Another proof of Barney Frank's quip that conservatives value human life, from conception to birth.

  12. SayItWithWookies

    Also, Kansas restaurant workers should decide for themselves when they're going to wash their hands. Do we really need big government regulations to tell people they can't go back to slicing meat at Quiznos after they've just wiped their asses? I think Kansas deserves some relief from the burden of food safety — especially its legislators.

  13. GunToting[Redacted]

    I'm a "gun guy." I do occasionally carry. Trust me when I say that people who know ANYTHING about guns are against this decision. All of my shooting friends hate the new permit-less carry laws.

    1. Steverino247

      Let me guess. It's because they know how much work and training it takes to carry safely and they take gun safety very seriously. They know the average dolt shouldn't be around anything with a bolt.

    2. V572 [SSAN]

      Elitist. Permit-less CCW democratizes opportunistic murder, and ensures that nobody gives you the finger if you cut them off in traffic.

  14. elviouslyqueer

    “We tend to look for all the reasons why someone should not be qualified to carry concealed, but actually I think we should look for the reasons why they should be qualified,” he said.

    I would never, ever advocate violence. But if Kansas decides that firing rounds at the Westboro Baptist Church is an appropriate test for conceal carry qualification, then who am I to argue?


    1. assistantatlas

      Here's a little local color for ya: one of the favorite pastimes of bored Topeka teenagers is throwing rocks at the Westboro Baptist compound. I can only imagine what they'd do if they had guns. Of course, if the Westboro folks had 'em too….

      Fuck. I am never back there ever again.

  15. donner_froh

    “We tend to look for all the reasons why someone should not be qualified to carry concealed, but actually I think we should look for the reasons why they should be qualified,” he said."

    One reason a person should be qualified is if he wears a jacket that covers a shoulder holster. Since the weapon is concealed he qualifies.

    A boon for the jacket makers of Kansas.

  16. i_AM_ready

    Usually I get all worked up about the NRA controlling everything, but I can't seem to feel any interest in this story. Mainly because I don't plan to ever be in Kansas, so if they all want to shoot each other, why should I worry my beautiful brain about it, as Battleax Bar once said…

    1. RavenRant

      That unbelievable quote needs to be used more often.

      And by 'unbelievable', I mean sociopathic.

  17. elfgoldsackring

    Evolution-free? That's funny, I think we're about to see some real rapid evolution.

    1. Rotundo_

      Like leaving a crate of hand grenades with chimps, the loud booms and carnage will continue until they figure out how that works or they become extinct. Problem solved.

  18. Chillwaver

    "Rep. Richard Carlson, a St. Marys Republican, said law-abiding citizens should be able to decide for themselves whether they are capable of carrying a concealed weapon."

    So Rep. Dick wants more freedumz….who's the one with the wiener problem now?

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Yeah – Jared Loughner decided for himself.
      Tell me again how that worked out, Carlson, you shameless NRA-owned fucktard.

  19. ifthethunderdontgetya

    Have all the fine, snarky responses been taken already?

    Thought so. So I'll just lead the chant:

    USA! USA! USA!

    This whole fucking country is trying to win a Darwin award, and by golly, I think we can!

    1. MrFizzy

      I'm just wondering if there's a prize. Maybe a gift certificate of some sort. Chinese carry-out?

  20. DaRooster

    “We tend to look for all the reasons why someone should not be qualified to carry concealed hold public office, but actually I think we should look for the reasons why they should be qualified,” he said.


    1. SayItWithWookies

      Then Rick Perry begs the Federal government to declare it a disaster area so he can get free help, after which it's back to the secession talk. Rinse and repeat.

  21. SorosBot

    Because of all the concealed guns, soon it may be the case that all Kansans are is dust in the wind.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      You get to decide for yourself if you want to be a Kansas Republican.
      That's working out really well, innit?

  22. savethispatient

    In Washington State, you don't have to pass a firearms safety check, as far as I can see, but they do at least do a background check. Next time I have $60 burning in my pocket, I may go get one, for giggles…

  23. Lascauxcaveman

    This will help prosecutors in other states solve the problem of their overcrowded prisons: early parole for gun violence convicts if they agree to serve their entire parole period in Kansas. Where they'd be welcome, because of guns!

    1. AJWjr.

      Awesome–and we can make 'em wear a reflective vest and surveyor's mark tattooed on their forehead, to make 'em easier to identify. I'm sure some highway workers may be confused with felons due to the vest thing, but really, who cares about those leeches, anyway?

  24. bordo2

    Ah, Kansas. Arizona with commodities. Never been there. Never will. Fuck all you crazy Kansans. Please stay out of my state.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      Driving I70 to Denver seven years ago wmas the most boring two days of my life.

    2. assistantatlas

      In fairness, though an extremely endangered population in-state, there are cool people who are FROM Kansas… the ones who know enough to get the fuck out of there as fast as they can.

  25. donner_froh

    A friend moved from Michigan to AZ recently. In Detroit and the area around it you assume that everyone is armed and is prepared to shoot you for any (or no) reason at all. Road rage turns into gunplay very quickly.

    In AZ, she feels, everyone carries a gun–including a lot of them openly–but for some reason they seem to use them less–not as many shoot-outs.

    Not sure if she is right or not, of course.

  26. DaSandman

    Mother of God.

    So are the right wing just gonna change into fucking zombies one morning and start chasing after the thinking people like in the movies?

  27. metamarcisf

    Breitbart's apology:

    "This morning, I showed a photograph, which our source claims Weiner sent her, to radio hosts “Opie and Anthony” of the Sirius XM radio network on my mobile device. Somehow, without my knowledge or permission, apparently a picture was taken of my mobile device, and subsequently published by Opie (Gregg Hughes) on Twitter."

    I feel bad for Mr. Breitbart as he was taken advantage of much like the Chinese were during the rape of Nanking.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      Yeah, funny how if you show the pic to everyone you meet in the course of a day, somebody goes and puts it on teh internets.

    2. OneYieldRegular

      "Somehow, without my knowledge or permission, apparently a picture was taken of my mobile device, and subsequently published by Opie on Twitter, and then when I told Opie that that was SO not cool that was MY photo and MY insurance policy and then asked him to say he was sorry and he was all like, no way, and I had no choice but to de-friend him on Facebook and then I said I'd get on Twitter to tell everyone what he did and that I was also taking back my vow to be BFF and he'd better return my 'Twilight' DVD also or else."

      Christ. Is there an adult in this country? Somewhere? Anywhere?

  28. OneYieldRegular

    Well, it's progress of a sort. First they reject evolutionary theory, then they let any neanderthal carry around a weapon. Pretty soon they'll be waving mammoth femurs at each other while fighting over scraps of giant sloth meat.

  29. pinkocommi

    I hear you can carry all the guns you want in Ivory Coast at the moment. Maybe Rep. Richard Carlson should go do field research there and let us all know how that is working out.

  30. Come here a minute

    Pilot licenses? This is the perfect example of how free-market regulation is best. After a pilot crashes a few planeloads of people, the free-market will surely do its job, and there'll be one less incompetent pilot out there. Problem solved! And no expensive, wasteful FAA.

    1. genxr

      Exactly. If airlines didn't have to spend so much complying with FAA regulations they could hire more people (to replace the dead ones) and create jobs!

    2. flamingpdog

      John McCain could have saved himself a lot of pain and anguish if the free market had taken him out of the skies after crashing two planes.

  31. fartknocker

    This seems a tad hypocritical given that Kansas Governor is a staunch Pro-Life advocate and has worked tirelessly to ban abortions, limit funding for Planned Parenthood and yet, he signed a law allowing any yahoo to carry a concealed weapon.

    Kansas and Arizona are starting to sound like Somalia with a bunch of white folks.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      Mohammad Farah Adid for Governor.

      Seriously, I do not care that he is dead. And not an American. Make it happen, Jayhawks.

    2. flamingpdog

      I guess every day is International Talk Like a Pirate Day in Kansass and Arizona, now.

  32. mavenmaven

    "but actually I think we should look for the reasons why they should be qualified"
    Except black voters. They should be screened very carefully before being allowed to vote.

    1. genxr

      We're talking about important rights, like carrying a gun to ward off your insecurities. Not something as trivial and inconsequential as voting!

    1. weejee

      And to think they hung John Brown just for wanting more gunz.

      Oh! Wait! There's a song there…

      ♪♫ Andy Brietfart's lard ass is a-moldering in Teatard haze,
      And, Rush Limbaugh's lard ass is a-moldering in Teatard haze,
      Glenn Beck's lard ass is a-moldering in Teatard haze,
      And their bullshit marches on ♫♪

  33. RavenRant

    Once again, my theory that a brain virus/brain eating parasite is making people stupid(er) is vindicated.

    Sub-theory: It thrives on corn syrup.

  34. DahBoner

    Sure, just filling out the paperwork is a de facto IQ test.

    But did they consider the average Teabagger could just ask his wife to come out of the meth lab and fill it out for him?

  35. Peace in our time

    The USS Constitution carried 56 guns:

    30: 24 lb Long Guns
    24: 32 lb Cannonade
    2: 24 lb Bow Chasers

    If it's in the USS Constitution, it should be legal for each of us.

    1. genxr

      Bartender! I'll have a tall cannonade with a bow chaser. (turns to girl) Hey babe, wanna see my long gun?

    2. Steverino247

      The oldest commisioned warship still afloat.

      Hey, how many cutlasses and flintlocks are aboard?

  36. BlueStateLibel

    People are going to need those guns when the SWAT teams burst in looking for missed student loan payments and overdue library books. But it all sounds good: increasingly militarized, error-prone police force and heavily armed citizens. Let the games begin.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      That bit is written in invisible ink — at least is is in the teabagger and NRA versions.

  37. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I personally applaud this decision. This is why I didn't mess around with the Bar Exam or Law School or anything like that. I felt I was qualified to practice law. What else does it take?

  38. Biel_ze_Bubba

    I'm sure there are reasons why you should be qualified. Kansas just needs to look for them.

  39. AJWjr.

    I'd say more jerbs for the rest of us, but we all know the Scooter Militia are all on disability, anyway…

  40. RavenRant

    This could work out a little differently than they think.

    As things continue to go to shit, the class war could get a little more war-y.

  41. James Michael Curley

    There are three components to flying a plane. Taking off – easy; Flying from point A to point B – easy; Landing – well, as Mr. Loaf said "Two out of three ain't bad."

  42. Pithaughn

    This is a direct result of the whiteys fear of people of color, I says. But, unless white birthrates stop trending down, they aint no amount of guns in the world is gonna make them feel superior any more.
    A Dr of aerospace engineering told me that he still get's called a nigger in Wichita a couple of times a year. He is of Indian descent. His great grand parents left India for merica to take a shot at the American dream. It is very discomforting for a redneck, poor, ignorant hick to have to serve a darky that is clearly way ahead in material wealth. They just cannot understand why that nigger has a good paying job and he don't.
    But having a rod provides something to fondle when those feelings start to get him down.

    1. MrFizzy

      Yep, and the fact is that you ain't never gonna cure that disease. Why anyone with anything more than a half-tan would move to the middle of this country is a total mystery.

  43. Warpde

    Can't wait for the first "Kansas man's balls accidentally shot off by concealed weapon" story.….

  44. orygoon

    So sad for the people who live in Lawrence. All the ones who I met when I went through that town were good folks, clinging to the ideals of anti-slavery activity and populism.

    It can't be enough, though.

  45. NYNYNY

    Kansas: Two Men Enter, One Man Leave. Sell those as license plates–> become rich.

  46. [redacted]hse

    Those truly incapable of handling concealed carry can be recognized by the frequent visits to on their PC's.
    Don't get me wrong.

  47. Redhead

    The only requirement will be a background check to prove that you're not on Welfare. Can't let the poors have guns.

  48. real_dc_native

    Toto, I have a feeling we SHOULD GET THE HELL OUT OF KANSAS. Where is that good witch? GOOD WITCH? Why did she ever send me back here?

  49. BornInATrailer

    I'm getting the feeling my concealed carry permit would not be viewed kindly 'round these parts.

  50. BZ1

    Obviously Carlson's cheery optimism has to be applied to all endeavors: brain surgery, for one, and there should be an obvious candidate…

  51. owhatever

    I would like to announce the opening of my store in Kansas — We Sell Guns & Shit to Any Dumbass. We believe that everybody is a law-abiding citizen until they blow away another law-abiding citizen…or two or three or a bunch in a school.

  52. Left_Leftie

    Not that I ever was going to visit Kansas, but now I know I will never visit Kansas.

  53. Negropolis

    Is Kansas still burning witches? 'Cause last I heard, they were still burning witches.

    “We tend to look for all the reasons why someone should not be qualified to carry concealed, but actually I think we should look for the reasons why they should be qualified,” he said.

    This tells you absolutely EVERYTHING you need to know about this nation's gun lobby, and general policy on firearms. EVERYTHING.

    God forbid that liberals start composing (ironic, maybe?) campaigns to arm every man, woman, child and pet. Then they'll start wanting to restrict the right. Wait, I think I may be onto something…

  54. Lascauxcaveman

    Good Heavens! I hope you're at tleast collecting payment upfront, before the surgery commences! Otherwise, I'd have to damn you for a mere hobbyist.

  55. Negropolis

    Oh, you guys; calm the fuck down, already. This is just Kansas' interpretation of ObamaCare's Death Panel mandate. Different states will choose different solutions.

  56. Negropolis

    How else are good, God-fearin' Kansans supposed to repell the British if they can't, uh, fire those warning shots, and um, ringin' those bells?

  57. V572 [SSAN]

    Bloody Kansas II: Now with assault rifles and machine pistols. This time it's serious.

  58. skytrucker

    Republicans like to refer to themselves as the party of Lincoln: Now there's someone who would clearly have approved of Kansas' response. I'm surprised gun dealers don't use his image to sell product the way car dealers do. Go figure.

  59. FraAnima

    Serious answer – Connecticut. Plus a shitload of background checks and paperwork. But that's all it took to get mine. It's scary easy. Easier than getting a fucking drivers license.

    -oh wait, I see what you're saying now…you mean it's even EASIER than that to get a license in the non-commie states like Arizona. YIKES!

Comments are closed.