Here is a nice, positive “unemployed wingnuts with internet access” story for once. The NYTimes reported that a mysterious team of conservative Twitter Batmans used an extensive amount of free time to closely monitor Anthony Weiner’s Twitter follows (we don’t know what that means) to discover that the exhibitionist Fruit of the Loom spokesbulge was “following” a disproportionate number of non-constituent young ladies. If they had they been lots of young men, of course, they would more likely would have gone unnoticed by conservative stalker-hunters (stalker-stalkers). Gay it up next time, Rep. Weiner! The mysterious team then warned the young ladies to avoid Weiner:
Throughout May, Mr. Wolfe and other members contacted other young women Mr. Weiner was following, including a 16-year-old from California who started a campaign on Twitter to get the congressman to be her prom date.
The next day, Mr. Stack, posting on Twitter, sent her a message saying in part, “if you’re a minor and he’s following you, well, seems a little creepy if not in ny,” copying @RepWeiner on the post. The next day, on May 18, the girl posted: “Well @RepWeiner unfollowed me.”
They later captured the infamous gray boxer shorts photo and sent it to Commissioner Gordon relentless fop Andrew Breitbart so he could take credit for the whole thing instead. [NYTimes]
{ 188 comments }
Did Batman use his batphone to twitter his batweiner too?
I believe you should be referring to his Batawang.
Holy cock shot Batman!!!
Thought he saved that for Batchoirboy Robin?
I'm guessing the relentless fop gets a lot of dick pics sent his way. Because he likes them.
He has at least one on his smartphone. My guess is his portable spankbank is a penicopia.
But you can bet he eats them side-saddle, because TOTALLY NOT GAY.
It ain't gay if you put your dick in your buddy's butt.
But who's the Boy Wonder in all this?
David Vitter?
*drumroll please*
All of them, Katie.
"All of them, Katie."
The universal answer to the eternal question.
"All of them, Katie" : Wonketteers :: "Tax cuts" : Republicans
All of them, Katie.
Boom! Dare-it-iz!
That depends on which Robin we're dealing with; is it Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, or Stephanie Brown?
Don't forget Carrie Kelley!
But she's only from an alternate future; I'm only using the in-continuity Robins. Well until August, when the DC universe is getting rebooted yet again; another reason I prefer Marvel.
Neeeeeeerrrrrrrrrddddddddd!
(Seriously, much love, though.)
Oh, and speaking of Dicks, Dick Grayson is back!
Ah, comic book nerds. Truly, I am in the place where I belong.
Yes, this DC reboot business is all very strange.
Riley?
Holy Batshit, Batman! The are some batty people on the batweb.
Not creepy if in NY!
In NY, cyber stalking is fun!
Monitoring a weiner's twitter followers sounds like a fun job. If you love weiners.
And we have a winner for the "Too Much Time on One's Hands" award. Congrats!
Thanks alot. Now I got a fucking Styx song in my head.
Well I'm a jet fuel genius,
I can solve the world's problems,
Without even trying…
(Enjoy baconz)
Thats nothing, I had BOTH Dust in the Wind and Point of No Return stuck in my head this morning.
At the same time? You are the WIN of earworm multitasking.
And I have Britney Spears' latest oeuvre in my head, courtesy of my 21 yr. old daughter cranking it up in the car (it's one of her "jamz").
Yes, Britney is now "old school" compared to the kids like Beiber and Selena Gomez.
You're welcome — for all the times you got Mister Roboto stuck in my head!
Sorry. If it makes you feel better when I put Mr. Roboto snarks up the song gets stuck in my head too.
PS. That's the first time I've ever been linked….Was it good for you?
I'm pretty sure this thread proves we are all way too old. And I say that as someone that has Paradise Theater on vinyl from when I bought it in middle school.
Seriously. And whaddaya wanna bet every single one of those mofos is collecting UI or SS payments whilst trolling for famous dicks?
Spending as much time on the internets as they seem to, I doubt "time" is all they have too much of on their hands.
Has Breitbat gotten his weiner back from Coulter yet?
Probably still on her keychain.
Does she ride it like her broom?
I think you're overestimating the thing's size. Coulter's a pretty big dude. Well, tall, anyway.
Not until the end of June. That's when Lorena Bobbitt gets back from Ecuador.
It's Coulter's weinie. Andy just gets to borrow it once in a while. He really isn't too clear about what to with it, though.
If you’re an anonymous stranger sitting in your mom's basement and contacting a 16 year old girl to tell her that Wiener is following her, well, THAT seems a little creepy especially if not in either ny, or ca.
"Dick Pix Fix Tricks," as the Daily Variety headline would read.
Hicks Nix Dick Pix
Freeper Creeper Bags Peter Tweeter
Boffo!
Did Sarah provide the "One Nation" Batshit Mobile?
I thought "Batshit" was Bachmannn's first name.
That's her middle name. Her first name is "Elphaba."
"Democrats offer Weiner advice CNN"
Democrats: It's not the weiner, it's the garnish.
Is Anthony's weiner the All-American Dog with ketchup, mustard, relish, and chopped raw onions?
Or is he into the Chili Cheese Coney garnished with chili and shredded cheddar cheese?
Since he is from New York, perhaps he prefers spicy mustard, grilled onions, and sauerkraut?
Or does he honor Obama's Chicago Style by topping his weiner with pickle spear, relish, tomatoes, hot peppers, chopped raw onions, celery salt and mustard?
Coney Island Daug!
Or maybe the Wonky Dog, topped with poutaine (aka french fries with squeaky cheese and gravy).
"All of them, Ka…." Oh never mind.
No self respecting American puts ketchup on a weiner.
“if you’re a minor and he’s following you, well, seems a little creepy if not in ny”
Yes, it would be a whole lot less creepy if he were following minors in New York.
They all have more experience with the creepies there.
So true, and in a funny way: the girls whip out the cellphones, and next thing you know, the cops have photos (sometimes a junk shot) in hand. The subways have been a creep-free zone for some time now.
What an awesome .gif…..Jr.
Hey, I remember when they shot that Batman episode out on Stearn's Wharf. That Moby Dick's restaurant burned down years ago, but I guess that it's rebuilt now.
I guess the bomb went off?!
that's a great one isn't it? i said this on an earlier thread, but i'm glad dad passed all the good stuff down to junior.
Oh yeah, it kicks ass. Better than a Bieber infested Blingee.
But needs real alt-text!
Junior needs a spanking every time he/she leaves off an alt-text. That'll learn 'em.
Needs more bunga bunga.
Rep. Wiener was just turning on the bat signal… if you know what I mean.
It's just amazing that the Breitards have been this involved with Weiner's weiner for over a month…..didn't Andy say his first idea anything was going on was Weiner's accidental twitter post he happened to be following? This smells a lot more like a Breitbart special. Weiner was trolling for cybersex, but it looks like Andy might have put out some stinkbait.
Brietbart is stinkbait. He naturally attracts the bottom-feeders.
A troll trolling for trolls?
i can't help but think breitbart's got some junk in his own closet – but no one with half a brain could possibly stand looking for it.
Karmic justice demands that James O'Keefe was the videographer of some Breitbart snuff flick, that will put the two of them in prison forever.
I have a standing 1000 Whore Diamonds bet that Meagan Broussard will ultimately be outed as a Breitbart operative/Republican Ratfucker.
Any takers?
From now on, I think that all candidates should include pics of their pudenda in their campaign filings.
Just to get it out of the way and streamline the discovery/verification/public shaming process.
The Face of the Revolution is some fat doughy guy who's 50, never married (unless you count to Cheetos), and a Big Government reader. Nice.
Also: owns chain-mail, his favourite album is Aerosmith Rocks, he has translated the entire Lord of the Rings serial into Elvish, & he has the local pizza-pie shop on speed-dial.
I don't know, those elves were pretty liberal. Orcs, on the other hand…
This is just weird all the way around.
ALL the way AROUND.
It is so weird it is circling the route.
What I actually find strangest is not that people were obsessively following Weiner's account and trying to catch him doing something odd – I am 100% sure that every single Dem in any federal or state position is being carefully monitored for one wrong move, but that Weiner NOTICED that he was being watched, unfollowed a minor as a result, and then continued sexting like no one was watching.
Some days you just can't get rid of a Weiner.
Darn you! Beat me to it!
(I think Batman's line "some days you just can't get rid of a bomb" is one of the funniest of all time.)
Agreed.
So Breitbart has a lot of followers who are creepy obsessive stalkers with way too much time on their hands. I think we at Wonkette have a bit of experience with that.
I represent that remark!
But you've almost managed to get your p-ness to the single negative digits; soon you might have even p that's yellow-green instead of blood red.
Oh no no. The blood red is a badge of honor. After all, Marc takes on BigGovernment so we don't have to.
Also, I hate to complain, but my p-ness has been sitting at 112 for three damn days now, and I've had a pretty good run of comments and upfists. Dammit, IntenseDebate, who do I have to fuck around here to raise my p-ness?
Hey, I quit stalking Sara (hey, is Sara still here?) as soon as I was served with the restraining order.
including a 16-year-old from California who started a campaign on Twitter to get the congressman to be her prom date
Because nothing says "appropriate candidate for prom date" like a 40-something from the opposite coast! Kiddies, there's "older and more experienced" and then there's "unresolved parental issues."
I must say that Weiner's pic did have great lighting… was it a Glamor Shot?
So how come no story yet on the actual Wiener Weiner that Breitbart leaked on the Opie show in NYC this morning? I saw it and it is out of focus but impresssive nonetheless. I smell Pulitzer.
Pulitzer? I just met her!
Minor? I hardly know her!
Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!
I've never won a Pulitzer, but if they smell like balls I'm not inclined to try.
If Breitbart ever wins one, it will smell like balls.
I wonder if "if not in ny" is meant to mean "its creepy where I come from, but I guess maybe not in ny, which is full of homo commie jew preverts."
Poor old Weiner. Left twisting in the wind – hung out, dangling, to dry by his fellow Democrats.
It's hard to be a Congressman from New York.
Hard out there for a pimp…
Those obsessed with weiners are just gay.
Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course.
It's like when black people use the "n" word. Totally cool, and way too sublime for teabaggers.
Warning to liberal politicians: That 13 year old girl with the body of a 20 year old who wants to meet you at the no-tell motel; she is neither a girl nor 13. Just so you all know, ok?
"If a woman tells you she's 20 and looks 16, she's 12.
If she tells you she's 26, and looks 26, she's damn near 40."
"If a girl has a pierced tongue, she'll probably suck your dick.
If a guy has a pierced tongue, he'll probably suck your dick."
-Chris Rock
Ann Coulter hasn't passed for 13 for over four decades.
Totally unfair. She *easily* has the body of a 13 year-old boy. Well, one who was turned into jerky, at least.
Holy Koch-blockers, Batman!
~
So apparently these "Republican principles that made this country great" include cyberstalking to the point of paranoid mania, along with acting like a prudish scold with an obsessive fixation on one political party while simultaneously turning a blind eye to equally egregious moral failings by members of their own party.
And they think heterosexuality is "kind of weird" too. "Ooohh, he's following girls, he's gonna get cooties."
Also, is it a surprise that middle age self described patriotic Republicans would find following women on twitter to be "weird"?
I have had enough of Weiner.*
*Also said by 88.4% of married women.
Also about two thirds of my exes, for some reason.
I have the feeling that these "Batmans" don't fit in their batcostumes and don't leave their batcaves (aka mom's basement) very often…
Well, staring at a Congressman's twitter feed and repeatedly hitting refresh is probably only slightly more mind-numblingly boring than incessantly downfisting anyone and everyone's Wonkette comments…
♪♫ My wiener has a first name, it's A N D Y
My wiener has a second name, it's Brietfart that's no lie♫♪
It has been reported by anonymous sources that Beitbart has no weiner. Doesn't disqualify him from being one, I guess.
You mean a bunch of conservicunts made a mountain out of a molehill? I'm shocked, shocked I tell you.
Push the chaise longue into position and git the smellin' salts, because I might faint….
Well, the mountain said: "“Every single Republican I have ever met in my entire life is a wholly-owned subsidiary of the insurance industry."…
Sometimes, Junior's writing makes me feel like I'm going dyslexic, where I have to reread a sentence two or three times to figure out what it says.
I mean, look at the headline. "Batmans?" I would have figured the plural noun would be "Batmen," so when I see the S, I think the noun has been verbed.
On that note, when did "follows" become a noun?
Noun, verb… who can explain it?
Nouning and verbing, its what all the cool kids are doing these days.
Say, man, you got a joint?
It'd be a lot cooler if you did.
BAM!!! POW!!! ZAP!!!!
SPOOGE!!!!
STOOGE!?!?
Brietbart really is scummy. I wish someone would get him. He's just fucking with folks lives.
The moral here, of course, is that one should smoke as much pole as possible.
I have based my life upon this credo, and if you are entering public life of any kind you would do well to do so too.
I applaud your internal consistency.
OTOH,
(1) drawing that particular moral from this extended fiasco is, you know, weak.
(2) full disclosure: I am obnoxiously hetero. Nevertheless, you, Elvis, and Roscoe are among the sharpest wits to comment on this site (and I apologize to the many others I didn't mention).
I too am an Ace Sleauth in my fantasy life: Nancy Drew. It's complicated…
Hmmmm. I wonder…….
It might take an "alter ego" and a hidden IP address, but I bet it could be accomplished. Probably like shooting fish in a barrel.
But, do I pose as a female or male???
Someone who brings Faux "news" people to their collective knees (please, no weiner jokes here) should have known they would do anything fuck him, (NO JOKES!).
But Batman schmatman. A local fellow is going to be featured on that boring NPR show, "The Story" tomorrow. Don't want to give too much away, but the promo was, "From convicted felon to election as mayor in small town." Fuckin' con artist is going to get a book deal behind this shit. I guess now the Baptists are glad they haven't crushed NPR yet. Not that they would listen to it except to hear their local hero.
But you're lobing slow pitch softballs at us…
Dusty, let me call to your attention the lower Sierra Nevada. Land is currently pretty damn cheap. There's a little more vertical gradient than in OK, but there are folks accomplishing agriculture.
Politically, it is the conservative slice of Cali, but because of the retirement diaspora, quite a few of the cons are ex-Bay-Area conservatives; i.e., Oklahoma communists.
Groveland, Coulterville, Greeley Hill, and a bunch of other places. No tornadoes. An hour and half drive to Yosemite Valley (if I believed in God, Yosemite would convince me that He or She was an artist).
Groveland isn't actually a politically recognized entity, so we have an honorary mayor. Two years ago, it was a dog. He's running again (can I sell you some raffle tickets?).
Holy cow, literally. You've just given me a great idea. Every year the dipshit country kids raise big cows, bulls or just cows or–I'm not good on this shit. Everything except Guernseys. I'd recognize a Guernsey from the organic milk carton. Whatev , , ,
They grow these big fucking cows with some kind of good markings or something before the cold hearted little bastards sell it off for meat and their college tuition.
Badaaaa . . . .I'll run the champion for mayor. Save the animal's life and maybe attract some Hindus to ilve here. Plus, the new residents might open a South Asian restaurant.
Thanks. And good luck to the dog. Voting for he/she makes as much sense as the way Bible Belt people vote.
Okay, the only thing more disturbing than the whole scandal is that these grown men are stalking another grown man's every move on Twitter enough to actually ferret out whose actually female, actually under 18, actually in another state. That's not easy stuff sometimes to figure out, so I'm not really sure who has the bigger problem here: Weiner or the so-called "men" who are obsessed with him.
Congress to submit bill making it a felony to have underage Twitter followers in 3…2…1…
Unless you're a Republican congressman and the under-age followers are pre-adolescent boys.
Mike Stack is a drunk driver, domestic abuser, and porn site administrator.
Nothing creepy about him following underage girls. You can trust that he has their best interests at heart.
Breitbart: He came for the cyberstalking, he stayed for the wiener.
What a long, strange wiener it was?
Holy shit.
Wonkette Jr, MAKE IT SO
It ain't me, it's the people that say men are leading the wiener astray, but I say today the wiener are smarter than the men in every way?
* Stack, who aggressively pushed the story about Weiner’s underpants shot, has worked as a moderator on a pornography web site, and been a regular commenter on several other X-rated sites. Stack describes himself as a “Pervert” on one site, where his avatar, captioned “Antichrist,” is a drawing of President Barack Obama as Jesus Christ.
* New Jersey court records show that Stack was convicted of drunk driving in February 2008. He was previously arrested for domestic assault in July 2004 following a drunken fight that left his girlfriend with bruises on her arm (that case, though, ended with a dismissal in April 2005). Stack is pictured above in a mug shot taken by the Readington Township Police Department following his 2004 collar.
* Stack has twice declared bankruptcy during the past 14 years. His most recent Chapter 7 case ended in July 2008, around the time Stack lost his Hunterdon County home to foreclosure. At the time of that filing, Stack reported working as a warehouseman for Johnson & Johnson.
* The Internal Revenue Service last year filed a $5907 federal tax lien against Stack.
Aha! Well, that solves the mystery of who owns Weiner's dick pic.
Republicans like their women Stacked.
Thanks. I gave the abridged version above, too lazy to do all that typing. But Stack really seems just the fellow to lead the 'Family Values' lynch mob.
Also, I am predicting that 26 year old Meagan Broussard, who sold her Weiner pix to ABC News for between $10,000 and $15,000, and then breathless re-enacted her Facebook chats with Weiner on the same network, will eventually be outed as a Republican operative.
They made an educated guess based on the list of people he was following, (mostly young women), set him up, and he rose to the bait like a trout. Dumbass.
This woman began by saying she didn't want any attention, and now she can't give enough interviews. (The latest is with Hannity.)
I bet 1000 Whore Diamonds that she will eventually reveal herself as an O'Keefe wannabe.
None of this absolves Weiner of being an idiot, and stringing out the world's worst coverup to excruciating lengths. He managed to discredit his loyal defenders and 'vindicating' *gag* Not-So-Breitbart. Wanker.
I should have tacked it on to your comment as you got me curious to find out more.
Smoking Gun, no doubt?
Any takers on my 1000 whore diamonds bet?
Not sure. I bet she plays it for all it's worth. Playboy spread? TLC Reality series? One Weiner Bus tour? <g>
Ladies and gentlemen, one of Adam West's less prouder moments in life.
We get a lot of these, but I think this one is appropriate: You know who else thought the ends justified the means?
Gandhi?
Ming the Merciless?
It's bound to be accurate one of these days.
The Jean-Paul Valley Batman?
Thanks, guys. This is perfect for my thesis paper. You'll all receive credit for it!
Well, since we're on a Batman-themed thread, The Joker, obvs.
August Ferdinand Mobius?
But only if they had they been.
Rabid left wing liberals with so much time on their hands pretty much stick to Wonkette, and their OWN Weiners.
Isn't it time for a "I fucked Andrew Brietbart in the Mouth" meme?
Funny you should mention that, because I just got done fucking Andrew Breitbart in the mouth with Herman Cain's cock.
For the last time – he was sporting Jockeys!
Fruit of the Loom is funnier, tho.
The problems is, as the majority of wingnuts are olds many are retired and can spend all the time they're not working on useless shit like this, while most liberals have jobs and lives and can't devote themselves to petty bullshit. The good part of that is that many of those old wingnuts won't be around for much longer.
D*n Wolfe and Mich*el Stack: obvious porn names, donncha think?
#Winningwithabigfinish!!!!!!
Nicely done.
This is the main problem with all the print and airspace given to these personal peccadillos it just brings more pervs and dipshits out from under their rocks…. Excuse me, I need a shower.
Hmmmm. Can I watch?
You are too kind.
They later captured the infamous gray boxer shorts photo and sent it to
Commissioner Gordon relentless fopAndrew Breitbart so he could relentlessly fap totake credit forthe whole thing instead.Fucking Chris Mathews is going on again about whether Weiner should resign, and his mental stability, yadda yadda.
Cuz there was nothing creepy or mentally questionable about the C Street fuck palace, with John Ensign, Tom Coburn, Chip Pickering, and Mark "hiking the Appalachian Trail" Sanford all residents or graduates. (I'm probably leaving out a few known perverts from that joint.)
Never this intense media attention to Ensign fucking his BEST FRIENDS WIFE when both the best friend and the wife and their family were totally financially dependent on him. Nothing about the mental stability about him continuing to coerce her into sex after she had begged him to leave her alone. Nothing creepy about the huddled 'interventions' by his fellow cult members.
Our fucking so-called liberal media had nothing to say about that freak show.
Sorry about the the shouty ALLCAPS, but this fucking fucked up country is making me insane.
Because the so-called liberal media(except for Rachel) ain't. Just like in elections- liberals/dems/progressives- whatever- eat their own.
I bet there are blackmail-able pics somewhere out there.
Also, we might have avoided God knows how many dead and maimed. (American and otherwise.)
Wish I knew how to track it. But I do think Andy deserves just as much scrutiny as his flying monkeys gave Da Wein.
He's a sloppy drunk, so he will fuck up eventually. And once again, I weep bitter tears about the mystery DC cocktail party video that was dangled in front of us, then cruelly snatched away.
You had me until Foghat.
Hmmm.
Maybe this is why the KKKock Bros paid Breitard to do a little "OPPO" research:
"Big day for the House today as it voted to overturn the antitrust exemptions for insurance companies that have been in place since the end of World War II. And no one on the scene was more emphatic for this appeal than Democratic New York Representative Anthony Weiner, who just wailed on Republicans this afternoon for being in the pockets of big insurance companies…" http://www.mediaite.com/online/anthony-weiner-cal...
Needs moar erectile dysfunction.
The thing that drives me crazy about these psychotically obsessive wingnut e-fishing expeditions is that these guys are far too stupid to realize that their fake Internet detective skills had literally nothing to do with the larger story. Remember the whole "kerning on the birth certificate" thing? These guys get lucky. But they really honestly think they have skill. And being as un-self-aware as you'd have to be to post on Breitbart or Free Republic, they simply shut out their failures- their laughable, pathetic failures of comic porportions- and spend all their time fapping to the one time they beat the odds and DIDN'T make massive fools of themselves.
Then when liberals point out that they were really just a pedestrian at the scene, nothing more- well, then the liberals are all "butthurt" about what happened. You can just see their mind closing up around the only explanation that prevents them from collapsing under the weight of their own complete worthlessness.
Yeah no shit…it's amazing that no one is wondering "uh, why were these wingnuts following Anthony Weiner's twitter feed so relentlessly?" This whole thing has stunk a bit like an Andrew Beerfart well…wet fart all along. How did that fat fucker get ahold of those pics and what kind of woman would forward said pics to said fat fucker is what I want to know. If we're going to drag Antny's Weiner through the mud, I'd like to know how the world's possibly most dishonest, dirty chode who'll do ANYTHING to take someone like Antny down figured into all of this. Reeks a bit of "client 9" and Ron Stone…
Oh Lizzie, thank goodness neither one of us is running for public office!
Why don't you have a seat over there.
So do I, but I really do wonder about that fluorescent green relish. It ain't natural.
Why would you have vinyl (clothes one presumes) with "Paradise Theater" on them? That sounds extremely kinky.
You were in middle school? You're just a wee laddie, my son.
I had the same album! I think I was in elementary school at the time. It had cool hologram images on the B-side. Sadly, there are no more B-sides…
But, eventually, Republican 'activist'. I'm guessing you're right about Playboy or other nude photo shoot. I don't think we'll be in suspense long about that one.
I'll take that. Hell, I have half the people in my office convinced I'm in my thirties.
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