SUBTLE  6:06 pm June 7, 2011

Discount Airline Emails Giant Double Entendre To Unsuspecting Customers

by Wonkette Jr.

American Capitalism is still kind of fun, once in a while! Spirit Airlines emailed customers this offer with the subject line, “Want To See Our Weiner?” and miraculously this did not end up in everyone’s spam folder. The Weiner-themed marketing ploys were probably going to be inevitable, so congratulations, Spirit Airlines, for making it out ahead of the curve on this one. [Spirit Airlines via Wonkette operative "Jon C."]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 142 comments }

DaSandman June 7, 2011 at 6:08 pm

Their original ad copy was a litle more straight forward:

"Ride a hard one to Orlando"

genxr June 7, 2011 at 6:09 pm

Now if they offer a fish taco for my weiner, they have a new customer for life.

fartknocker June 7, 2011 at 6:09 pm

I'll bet the pilot's name is Dick Johnson.

DaRooster June 7, 2011 at 6:15 pm

Peter Dangle?

poncho_pilot June 7, 2011 at 6:21 pm

Rod Van Cucumber?

Fare la Volpe June 7, 2011 at 6:21 pm

Rooster Cogburn.

Gopherit June 7, 2011 at 6:25 pm

Cockburn?

Doktor Zoom June 7, 2011 at 6:38 pm

Roger Soundly?

genxr June 7, 2011 at 6:40 pm

They have one of those inflatable automatic pilots.

AutomaticPilot June 7, 2011 at 8:38 pm

you called?

bflrtsplk June 8, 2011 at 4:03 am

Infellatable?

Sa_Turn June 7, 2011 at 6:50 pm

long rod von hugendong?

Beowoof June 7, 2011 at 8:38 pm

And I would have thought it was Big Johnson, who is a known favorite.

AJWjr. June 7, 2011 at 9:32 pm

Clarence Oveur.

Negropolis June 7, 2011 at 10:41 pm

P. Ness Bolger is what I think you heard.

Lascauxcaveman June 8, 2011 at 1:47 am

I hear they've been hiring Chinese crews for their Asian routes. Long Wang and Hung Well were the pilot and co- from my last trip to Hong Kong.

An_Outhouse June 8, 2011 at 11:15 am

Hung Far Low, Portland, Oregon

KeepFnThatChicken June 7, 2011 at 6:09 pm

Today, we are all consumers of jet fuel and pig asses.

Thurman Munster IV June 7, 2011 at 6:10 pm

Leave Sarah alone!

mayor_quimby June 8, 2011 at 10:35 am

Hey, I only eat all-beef weiners, not fair!

Texan_Bulldog June 7, 2011 at 6:10 pm

I may never eat another hot dog again. Thanks, Anthony!

edgydrifter June 7, 2011 at 6:11 pm

Didn't Delta already run this ad campaign?
…yeah, and you thought it was rain!

KeepFnThatChicken June 7, 2011 at 6:13 pm

"…got you covered like a jimmy hat."

Troubledog June 7, 2011 at 6:13 pm

You f'in to raise up and get your travel on?
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=520_1177709069

ALIVE! June 8, 2011 at 8:54 am

Wut is this? Please tell me something that will make me feel less bad about laughing aloud at this.

weejee June 7, 2011 at 6:13 pm

Weiner mit schlag or GTFO.

user-of-owls June 7, 2011 at 7:36 pm

…und spargel. Vergessen sie nicht die spargel.

Buckminster June 7, 2011 at 6:13 pm

What the heck do Weiners have to do with airline fares?

Doktor Zoom June 7, 2011 at 6:40 pm

They're going DOWN, this week only!

DashboardBuddha June 7, 2011 at 7:35 pm

Well, if you think about it, airliners are essentially long tubes filled with meat.

anniegetyerfun June 8, 2011 at 1:47 am

I don't know about airline fares, but have you heard what they have in common with submarines?

Lascauxcaveman June 8, 2011 at 1:55 am

[snark off] I'm with you, Bucky. It's not a great ad. Sure, it's fine if you want to make people laugh, but an ad is mostly supposed to make you want to buy the product or service. Which airline should we fly? Haha, these guys have the funniest ads, let's fly with them! Haha! Ha, ha, ah …. no.

For something fraught with seriousness as airline travel is today, it's a lousy approach.

[snark on] Our planes have TruckNutz! And weiners! Penis!

Negropolis June 8, 2011 at 3:26 am

I don't know. Spirit seems to be doing just fine, and it doesn't have much to do with the ads, either way. Discount airlines can do this.

Lascauxcaveman June 8, 2011 at 12:31 pm

Why waste money on the ads? Throw out the hot dog stuff and just say "We're the Cheapest." Over and over again.

RadioJr. June 7, 2011 at 6:14 pm

And the baggage is free!

Doktor Zoom June 7, 2011 at 6:41 pm

The baggage will be with you for the rest of your career!

riverside68 June 8, 2011 at 9:12 am

Career? As a dog catcher?

DahBoner June 8, 2011 at 9:58 am

Carry on any sack with nuts for free!

DaRooster June 7, 2011 at 6:16 pm

No Catsup or Mustard packets though…

problemwithcaring June 7, 2011 at 6:16 pm

And seating in coach is as tight as a pussy!

Negropolis June 7, 2011 at 10:44 pm

Depends on the, well, nevermind.

ifthethunderdontgetya June 7, 2011 at 6:16 pm

Today, we are all Weiners.
~

fartknocker June 7, 2011 at 6:16 pm

I see that our Troll has finished his Wikipedia history revisions and is in our neighborhood.

pinkocommi June 7, 2011 at 6:16 pm

Ok… Which one of you Wonketteers wrote that ad? Time to fess up.

Goonemeritus June 7, 2011 at 6:17 pm

Nothing new here, in my goon duties I have flown up to 350,000 miles in one year. Airlines have given me the Weiner every one of those miles without common decency of a reach around.

riverside68 June 8, 2011 at 9:15 am

350,000 weiners has got to be some kind of a record, but I don't want to think about it anymore.

You don't mind if I don't shake your hand?

ifthethunderdontgetya June 7, 2011 at 6:17 pm

You know who else offered weiner discounts?

That's right…

Doktor Zoom June 7, 2011 at 6:43 pm

Weiner, Wiemar, whatever.

RadioJr. June 7, 2011 at 7:50 pm

That is just NOT kosher.

user-of-owls June 7, 2011 at 8:46 pm

What if it's Heblew National?

riverside68 June 8, 2011 at 9:18 am

the Blue Angel?

Giveusabob June 7, 2011 at 6:18 pm

I would expect any direct marketing companies that specialize in the Porn industry are now inquiring with Spirit Airlines about potential consulting.

Gopherit June 7, 2011 at 6:20 pm

Anthony Weiner better be getting a piece of this craze. Feed the weiner!

tihond June 7, 2011 at 6:21 pm

This is better than the time they invited everyone to ride the red rocket.

Fare la Volpe June 7, 2011 at 6:22 pm

But is the weiner cream-filled?

UW8316154 June 7, 2011 at 11:57 pm

It's filled with a special sauce.

Gopherit June 7, 2011 at 6:25 pm

They should offer a special rate to Las Vegas so a certain congressperson can choke a bitch.

Peace in our time June 7, 2011 at 6:29 pm

Nice buns.

Fare la Volpe June 7, 2011 at 6:30 pm

Yes, though it's considered rude if you do it after your complimentary blowjob.

poncho_pilot June 7, 2011 at 6:32 pm

does that take place in the cockpit?

Doktor Zoom June 7, 2011 at 6:44 pm

Timmy, do you like gladiator movies?

poncho_pilot June 7, 2011 at 6:50 pm

lol. and i was just thinking to myself: "well, it's better than Amtrak where Joe Biden often asks the other passengers if they've been in the caboose."

AJWjr. June 7, 2011 at 6:39 pm

Captain Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before?
Joey: No sir, I've never been up in a plane before.
Captain Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked?

poncho_pilot June 7, 2011 at 6:40 pm

is monstrous modifying weiner or discounts?

BloviateMe June 7, 2011 at 6:57 pm

Yes.

Negropolis June 7, 2011 at 10:44 pm

WIN

neiltheblaze June 7, 2011 at 6:42 pm

The "Depends" people missed a marketing opportunity during Vitter's scandal. Bet they're kicking themselves now.

AutomaticPilot June 7, 2011 at 8:44 pm

or shitting themselves…

PuckStopsHere June 7, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Coffee, tea, or PENIS?

Lucidamente1 June 7, 2011 at 6:55 pm

Well, Ken, looks like somebody picked the wrong day to quit Wonkette. Where are you gonna put those anusburger jokes now?

smokefilledroommate June 7, 2011 at 6:58 pm

Does this company seriously want to be known as 'Weiner Airlines'? Because that's whats going to happen.

anniegetyerfun June 8, 2011 at 1:50 am

Well, the image sticks with you, you know? Unlike… you know, that other airline. That got bought by the bigger airline?

orygoon June 7, 2011 at 7:01 pm

While this example is not, strictly speaking, "journalism", I note that in this incident j-school rules are being thrown in the gutter and danced upon. My editor-of-a-big-paper friend tells me that name-puns (see Tom: "Justice DeLayed", for example) are a no-no in newsheadlinewriting. And probably my friend is, himself, eschewing them even with the Weiner Thing, because he is serious man (well, about newswriting and whatnot, that is). Other newspapers? Har, har, har.

anniegetyerfun June 8, 2011 at 1:50 am

There is a joke there involving "eschew", but I am too drunk to make it.

weejee June 7, 2011 at 7:22 pm

OT, but while speaking of wieners…

In Hardon Hardin, Tejas, which is outside of Houston, the constabulary uncovered a mass grave with 25-30 dismembered bodies. Do y'all think these are whistleblowers who talked to Austin DA Ronnie Earl about Tom Delay (this ain't far from Sugarland kids) or are they from early skirmishes between Rick Perry and Ron Paul Prez 2012 supporters? Tejas just can't stand to take a backseat to Arizona on community violence now can they?

Lazy Media June 7, 2011 at 7:52 pm

No actual bodies found; this is apparently a false alarm caused by a tip from a "psychic."
http://www.businessinsider.com/psychic-sends-poli

weejee June 7, 2011 at 8:30 pm

LM, there seems to be a lot of contradictories on the official body of information, so to speak. Mehbe this is a Tejas take on 3-card Monte, but with body parts.

user-of-owls June 7, 2011 at 8:45 pm

Where's Waldo Dismembero(s)?

Lascauxcaveman June 8, 2011 at 2:19 am

Seriously, who fucking cares? The more Texans who die, the better. That place needs to be cleared out by inauguration day 2012, when Barry sells the whole kit and kaboodle back to Messico.

That's what I heard.

smokefilledroommate June 7, 2011 at 9:00 pm

Total bullshit–must have been a slow psychic day.

orygoon June 7, 2011 at 10:49 pm

Or a slow-Texas-lawmakers day.

Nah, those guys are slow every day.

weejee June 8, 2011 at 9:25 am

Doez this mean we should not listen to those who read tea leaves?

trampndirtdown June 8, 2011 at 12:55 am

I had a cool screed about illegals maps rednecks and beauty queens for a reply, but being filled with ennui from Ken's earlier post I just thought fuck it.

Callyson June 7, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Now I can't get this out of my head:
Frank Sinatra-Come Fly With Me http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_j1KGHOvSkM

genxr June 7, 2011 at 7:34 pm

No, I do not want to see their viral twitter campaign.

OC_Surf_Serf June 7, 2011 at 7:39 pm

By 'eachway' and 'roundtrip' they mean anal.

smokefilledroommate June 7, 2011 at 7:47 pm

a stop-over is a 'reacharound'

Lazy Media June 7, 2011 at 7:49 pm

Goddammit, a "weiner" (Pronounced VINER) is someone who makes wine. Also, a lying scumbag that you used to really like. A "wiener" is a mild-flavored, long, thin sausage commonly use in hot dog sandwiches.

genxr June 7, 2011 at 8:14 pm

Ha ha. You said "viner"

elfgoldsackring June 7, 2011 at 8:19 pm

And 'hot dog sandwich'!

Doktor Zoom June 7, 2011 at 8:31 pm

A veiny wiener?

Lascauxcaveman June 8, 2011 at 2:22 am

Yes, as someone who understands proper pronunciation of German words, I've always thought this guy was a total asshole for mispronouncing HIS OWN GODDAMN NAME.

Negropolis June 8, 2011 at 3:28 am

He wouldn't be the only one. He wouldn't be the only American to Anglicize his name. It's been the American Way since before the founding of the country. It's my we have a Lima, Ohio, and a Milan, Michigan both pronounced with a long "I". Get used to it. If he did insist that we pronounce it "viner", I'd be worried.

You've been awfully serious, lately.

Lascauxcaveman June 8, 2011 at 12:40 pm

Really? Sorry, I hadn't noticed. Must be my difficult situation at work, or something. Labor problems again, and instead of my usual 60 hr/wk I'm back up to 75.

Buttsecks.

RadioJr. June 7, 2011 at 7:53 pm

The TSA is going to be very busy with all this junk.

user-of-owls June 7, 2011 at 8:36 pm

Too much junk male.

Negropolis June 7, 2011 at 10:50 pm

Baggage, mon ami; baggage.

ttommyunger June 7, 2011 at 8:13 pm

The skies are getting a little too friendly for my taste.

user-of-owls June 7, 2011 at 8:34 pm

Oh come on you old goat, of course you remember, as do I, the years of wink-and-nod "Fly with us and you can fingerbang this coquettish stewardess" advertising.

weejee June 7, 2011 at 8:39 pm

Coffee, tea, or me?

user-of-owls June 7, 2011 at 8:52 pm

THAT'S the one! I couldn't for the life of me remember it.

Oh, oops. That must have gotten so ingrained in my little skull that I assumed it was an actual ad. Dang, so that's what pernicious means.

Angry_Marmot June 7, 2011 at 9:51 pm
ttommyunger June 8, 2011 at 9:25 am

Yes, but as YOU recall, male stewardii were being introduced into the employee stream at that time.

elfgoldsackring June 7, 2011 at 8:26 pm

Bankrupted by cabin crew's sexual harassment class action in 3, 2…

user-of-owls June 7, 2011 at 8:53 pm

Which gender is filing?

HistoriCat June 7, 2011 at 9:47 pm

All of them Katie.

VaWyo June 8, 2011 at 10:28 am

When the airline had a sale called "you'll love our double DD's" the passengers kept asking the flight attendants to flash them. Spirit is so very classy.

gullywompr June 7, 2011 at 8:46 pm

No way I'm paying nine bucks for a hot dog. Fucking airlines.

Lascauxcaveman June 8, 2011 at 2:28 am

How about if the flight crew plays a game of baseball while you eat it? Then, maybe?

JoshuaNorton June 7, 2011 at 9:06 pm

Typical. But would they do something snarky with diapers or men's room sex or dirty text messages to underage boys or Governor Boink-inator? Nooooooo…….

Weenus299 June 7, 2011 at 9:45 pm

Sen. Richard Penis (D-South Dickota) is not amused.

AJWjr. June 7, 2011 at 9:40 pm
BarackMyWorld June 7, 2011 at 11:45 pm

Worth watching just for the 70s hair.

UPDATE: Get a life, Fister Roboto.

Weenus299 June 7, 2011 at 9:43 pm

This never would've happened in the Johnson administration.

BarackMyWorld June 7, 2011 at 11:48 pm

LBJ sounds like something a Mexican hooker does.

GinnehRED57 June 7, 2011 at 10:01 pm

Cut-off date is June 10.

As a professional travel agent (yes really, you scalliwagamuffins) it was my responsibility to disclose important restrictions. We got the email in our "official" inbox, where it and its comical subject line got roundfiled.

But not before we all had a good laugh. Har de har.

riverside68 June 8, 2011 at 9:26 am

Owwww,

I didn't see anything about no cut-off date. Damm, them is some hard earned miles!

SayItWithWookies June 7, 2011 at 10:08 pm

Unfortunately this weiner is a long haul without relish. And at the end of it, you're met by an angry ex-aide to Hillary Clinton. If Rep. Weiner had thought about that for a minute he wouldn't be in this situation.

riverside68 June 8, 2011 at 9:29 am

Weiner is a little too into this "I've been a bad boy" routine for my taste.

I am beginning to think he is right where he put himself, and he feels all warm and wet.

slithytoves June 7, 2011 at 10:10 pm

Wonkette seems to not only not inspire hope anymore, but also not viewing or posting. Ah fuck, too many double negatives. There it is.

SaintRond June 7, 2011 at 10:20 pm

There's an old blues song from the 20's called "Please Warm my Wiener." I'm pasting the lyrics here.

"I got somethin' to tell ya baby, don't get mad this time,
If you warm my weiner
You give me ease all up in my mind
Baby, please warm my wiener, oh, warm my wiener,
Won't you just warm my wiener, 'cause he really don't feel right cold
Now listen here, sweet baby, i ain't no lyin' man,
If you warm my wiener one time, you gonna want him again
Baby, please warm my wiener, oh, warm my wiener,
Won't you just warm my wiener, 'cause he really don't feel right cold
Said some says it takes hot water, baby, can't you see,
But your heat, baby's, plenty warm enough for me
Baby, please warm my wiener, oh, warm my wiener,
Won't you just warm my wiener, 'cause he really don't feel right cold
Now listen here sweet baby, it ain't no fake,
I'm beggin' you baby, now just give your daddy one break
Baby, please warm my wiener, oh, warm my wiener,
Won't you just warm my wiener, 'cause he really don't feel right cold
Now listen here, sweet baby, you know the time's growin' old,
I don't want you to warm half of my wiener, i want you to warm him all
Baby, please warm my wiener, oh, warm my wiener,
Won't you just warm my wiener, 'cause he really don't feel right cold…"

Now, with that I would say we've all had just about enough wiener to last a lifetime. Now let's just fucking drop it. Peace… God bless…

Negropolis June 7, 2011 at 10:37 pm

Spirit has become kind of known for this in the last few years. I like creative ads; sometimes, even the ones that beat you over the head with their over-the-top, not-so-subtle humor. Hard, each way, roundtrip…oh God; it really does get better.

Wanna' see a weiner show, y'all?

BTW, we're going to need some Plane Nutz.

DaRooster June 8, 2011 at 1:55 am

Nothin' plane about my nutz…

(For Bot)

Negropolis June 8, 2011 at 3:22 am

And, for that, you get some p-nuts.

Negropolis June 7, 2011 at 10:46 pm

Yes, you are expected to tip, but you can always just give them the shaft…

Try the veal; I'll be here all night.

Negropolis June 7, 2011 at 10:48 pm

FTW

BarackMyWorld June 7, 2011 at 11:49 pm

Thumbs up all around.

I see all these Weiner jokes are making our p-ness bigger.

EDIT: No thanks to Fisty McTroller.

UW8316154 June 8, 2011 at 12:00 am

"Weeping Weiners, Batman!!"

DaRooster June 8, 2011 at 9:47 am

Don't they have antibiotics for that?

iburl June 8, 2011 at 12:02 am

Spirit or Swallow?

user-of-owls June 8, 2011 at 12:29 am

Am I the only one to notice that the tips of the two Spirit's weiners are, um, different?

SudsMcKenzie June 8, 2011 at 1:28 am

One of em looks Muslin.

Negropolis June 8, 2011 at 3:24 am

In what respect, Charlie?

DerrickWildcat June 8, 2011 at 2:32 am

The only problem with this deal is that Spirit only flies to terrible places and the planes wreck a lot.

riverside68 June 8, 2011 at 9:31 am

pickey pickey

bflrtsplk June 8, 2011 at 4:17 am

Sometimes a hot dog is just a cigar.

Redhead June 8, 2011 at 9:17 am

THIS is more scandalous than Weiner's actual "sex scandal."

riverside68 June 8, 2011 at 9:19 am

And the bean bags for it to sit in.

DahBoner June 8, 2011 at 10:04 am

Well, they do always ask which seat you want…

DahBoner June 8, 2011 at 11:18 am

Did anyone notice that bun has 2 weiners in it?

Kinky…

BZ1 June 8, 2011 at 12:19 pm

flies outta New York state…

Eve8Apples June 8, 2011 at 3:03 pm

If you try to book a flight during blackout dates, are you cockblocked?

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