subtle

Discount Airline Emails Giant Double Entendre To Unsuspecting Customers

American Capitalism is still kind of fun, once in a while! Spirit Airlines emailed customers this offer with the subject line, “Want To See Our Weiner?” and miraculously this did not end up in everyone’s spam folder. The Weiner-themed marketing ploys were probably going to be inevitable, so congratulations, Spirit Airlines, for making it out ahead of the curve on this one. [Spirit Airlines via Wonkette operative “Jon C.”]

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  • DaSandman

    Their original ad copy was a litle more straight forward:

    "Ride a hard one to Orlando"

  • genxr

    Now if they offer a fish taco for my weiner, they have a new customer for life.

  • fartknocker

    I'll bet the pilot's name is Dick Johnson.

    • DaRooster

      Peter Dangle?

      • poncho_pilot

        Rod Van Cucumber?

    • Fare la Volpe

      Rooster Cogburn.

      • Gopherit

        Cockburn?

    • Doktor Zoom

      Roger Soundly?

    • genxr

      They have one of those inflatable automatic pilots.

      • AutomaticPilot

        you called?

      • bflrtsplk

        Infellatable?

    • Sa_Turn

      long rod von hugendong?

    • Beowoof

      And I would have thought it was Big Johnson, who is a known favorite.

    • AJWjr.

      Clarence Oveur.

    • Negropolis

      P. Ness Bolger is what I think you heard.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I hear they've been hiring Chinese crews for their Asian routes. Long Wang and Hung Well were the pilot and co- from my last trip to Hong Kong.

      • An_Outhouse

        Hung Far Low, Portland, Oregon

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Today, we are all consumers of jet fuel and pig asses.

    • Thurman Munster IV

      Leave Sarah alone!

    • mayor_quimby

      Hey, I only eat all-beef weiners, not fair!

  • Texan_Bulldog

    I may never eat another hot dog again. Thanks, Anthony!

  • edgydrifter

    Didn't Delta already run this ad campaign?
    …yeah, and you thought it was rain!

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      "…got you covered like a jimmy hat."

    • Troubledog

      You f'in to raise up and get your travel on?
      http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=520_1177709069

      • ALIVE!

        Wut is this? Please tell me something that will make me feel less bad about laughing aloud at this.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Weiner mit schlag or GTFO.

    • user-of-owls

      …und spargel. Vergessen sie nicht die spargel.

  • Buckminster

    What the heck do Weiners have to do with airline fares?

    • Doktor Zoom

      They're going DOWN, this week only!

    • DashboardBuddha

      Well, if you think about it, airliners are essentially long tubes filled with meat.

    • anniegetyerfun

      I don't know about airline fares, but have you heard what they have in common with submarines?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      [snark off] I'm with you, Bucky. It's not a great ad. Sure, it's fine if you want to make people laugh, but an ad is mostly supposed to make you want to buy the product or service. Which airline should we fly? Haha, these guys have the funniest ads, let's fly with them! Haha! Ha, ha, ah …. no.

      For something fraught with seriousness as airline travel is today, it's a lousy approach.

      [snark on] Our planes have TruckNutz! And weiners! Penis!

      • Negropolis

        I don't know. Spirit seems to be doing just fine, and it doesn't have much to do with the ads, either way. Discount airlines can do this.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Why waste money on the ads? Throw out the hot dog stuff and just say "We're the Cheapest." Over and over again.

  • RadioJr.

    And the baggage is free!

    • Doktor Zoom

      The baggage will be with you for the rest of your career!

      • riverside68

        Career? As a dog catcher?

    • DahBoner

      Carry on any sack with nuts for free!

  • DaRooster

    No Catsup or Mustard packets though…

  • problemwithcaring

    And seating in coach is as tight as a pussy!

    • Negropolis

      Depends on the, well, nevermind.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    Today, we are all Weiners.
    ~

  • fartknocker

    I see that our Troll has finished his Wikipedia history revisions and is in our neighborhood.

  • pinkocommi

    Ok… Which one of you Wonketteers wrote that ad? Time to fess up.

  • Goonemeritus

    Nothing new here, in my goon duties I have flown up to 350,000 miles in one year. Airlines have given me the Weiner every one of those miles without common decency of a reach around.

    • riverside68

      350,000 weiners has got to be some kind of a record, but I don't want to think about it anymore.

      You don't mind if I don't shake your hand?

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    You know who else offered weiner discounts?

    That's right…

    • Doktor Zoom

      Weiner, Wiemar, whatever.

    • RadioJr.

      That is just NOT kosher.

      • user-of-owls

        What if it's Heblew National?

    • riverside68

      the Blue Angel?

  • Giveusabob

    I would expect any direct marketing companies that specialize in the Porn industry are now inquiring with Spirit Airlines about potential consulting.

  • Gopherit

    Anthony Weiner better be getting a piece of this craze. Feed the weiner!

  • tihond

    This is better than the time they invited everyone to ride the red rocket.

  • Fare la Volpe

    But is the weiner cream-filled?

    • UW8316154

      It's filled with a special sauce.

  • Gopherit

    They should offer a special rate to Las Vegas so a certain congressperson can choke a bitch.

  • Peace in our time

    Nice buns.

  • Fare la Volpe

    Yes, though it's considered rude if you do it after your complimentary blowjob.

    • poncho_pilot

      does that take place in the cockpit?

      • Doktor Zoom

        Timmy, do you like gladiator movies?

        • poncho_pilot

          lol. and i was just thinking to myself: "well, it's better than Amtrak where Joe Biden often asks the other passengers if they've been in the caboose."

  • AJWjr.

    Captain Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before?
    Joey: No sir, I've never been up in a plane before.
    Captain Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked?

  • poncho_pilot

    is monstrous modifying weiner or discounts?

    • BloviateMe

      Yes.

      • Negropolis

        WIN

  • neiltheblaze

    The "Depends" people missed a marketing opportunity during Vitter's scandal. Bet they're kicking themselves now.

    • AutomaticPilot

      or shitting themselves…

  • PuckStopsHere

    Coffee, tea, or PENIS?

  • Lucidamente1

    Well, Ken, looks like somebody picked the wrong day to quit Wonkette. Where are you gonna put those anusburger jokes now?

  • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Does this company seriously want to be known as 'Weiner Airlines'? Because that's whats going to happen.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Well, the image sticks with you, you know? Unlike… you know, that other airline. That got bought by the bigger airline?

  • orygoon

    While this example is not, strictly speaking, "journalism", I note that in this incident j-school rules are being thrown in the gutter and danced upon. My editor-of-a-big-paper friend tells me that name-puns (see Tom: "Justice DeLayed", for example) are a no-no in newsheadlinewriting. And probably my friend is, himself, eschewing them even with the Weiner Thing, because he is serious man (well, about newswriting and whatnot, that is). Other newspapers? Har, har, har.

    • anniegetyerfun

      There is a joke there involving "eschew", but I am too drunk to make it.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    OT, but while speaking of wieners…

    In Hardon Hardin, Tejas, which is outside of Houston, the constabulary uncovered a mass grave with 25-30 dismembered bodies. Do y'all think these are whistleblowers who talked to Austin DA Ronnie Earl about Tom Delay (this ain't far from Sugarland kids) or are they from early skirmishes between Rick Perry and Ron Paul Prez 2012 supporters? Tejas just can't stand to take a backseat to Arizona on community violence now can they?

    • Lazy Media

      No actual bodies found; this is apparently a false alarm caused by a tip from a "psychic."
      http://www.businessinsider.com/psychic-sends-poli

      • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

        LM, there seems to be a lot of contradictories on the official body of information, so to speak. Mehbe this is a Tejas take on 3-card Monte, but with body parts.

        • user-of-owls

          Where's Waldo Dismembero(s)?

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Seriously, who fucking cares? The more Texans who die, the better. That place needs to be cleared out by inauguration day 2012, when Barry sells the whole kit and kaboodle back to Messico.

            That's what I heard.

    • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      Total bullshit–must have been a slow psychic day.

      • orygoon

        Or a slow-Texas-lawmakers day.

        Nah, those guys are slow every day.

      • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

        Doez this mean we should not listen to those who read tea leaves?

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      I had a cool screed about illegals maps rednecks and beauty queens for a reply, but being filled with ennui from Ken's earlier post I just thought fuck it.

  • Callyson

    Now I can't get this out of my head:
    Frank Sinatra-Come Fly With Me http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_j1KGHOvSkM

  • genxr

    No, I do not want to see their viral twitter campaign.

  • OC_Surf_Serf

    By 'eachway' and 'roundtrip' they mean anal.

    • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      a stop-over is a 'reacharound'

  • Lazy Media

    Goddammit, a "weiner" (Pronounced VINER) is someone who makes wine. Also, a lying scumbag that you used to really like. A "wiener" is a mild-flavored, long, thin sausage commonly use in hot dog sandwiches.

    • genxr

      Ha ha. You said "viner"

      • elfgoldsackring

        And 'hot dog sandwich'!

      • Doktor Zoom

        A veiny wiener?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Yes, as someone who understands proper pronunciation of German words, I've always thought this guy was a total asshole for mispronouncing HIS OWN GODDAMN NAME.

      • Negropolis

        He wouldn't be the only one. He wouldn't be the only American to Anglicize his name. It's been the American Way since before the founding of the country. It's my we have a Lima, Ohio, and a Milan, Michigan both pronounced with a long "I". Get used to it. If he did insist that we pronounce it "viner", I'd be worried.

        You've been awfully serious, lately.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Really? Sorry, I hadn't noticed. Must be my difficult situation at work, or something. Labor problems again, and instead of my usual 60 hr/wk I'm back up to 75.

          Buttsecks.

  • RadioJr.

    The TSA is going to be very busy with all this junk.

    • user-of-owls

      Too much junk male.

    • Negropolis

      Baggage, mon ami; baggage.

  • ttommyunger

    The skies are getting a little too friendly for my taste.

    • user-of-owls

      Oh come on you old goat, of course you remember, as do I, the years of wink-and-nod "Fly with us and you can fingerbang this coquettish stewardess" advertising.

      • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

        Coffee, tea, or me?

        • user-of-owls

          THAT'S the one! I couldn't for the life of me remember it.

          Oh, oops. That must have gotten so ingrained in my little skull that I assumed it was an actual ad. Dang, so that's what pernicious means.

      • Angry_Marmot
      • ttommyunger

        Yes, but as YOU recall, male stewardii were being introduced into the employee stream at that time.

  • elfgoldsackring

    Bankrupted by cabin crew's sexual harassment class action in 3, 2…

    • user-of-owls

      Which gender is filing?

      • HistoriCat

        All of them Katie.

    • VaWyo

      When the airline had a sale called "you'll love our double DD's" the passengers kept asking the flight attendants to flash them. Spirit is so very classy.

  • gullywompr

    No way I'm paying nine bucks for a hot dog. Fucking airlines.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      How about if the flight crew plays a game of baseball while you eat it? Then, maybe?

  • JoshuaNorton

    Typical. But would they do something snarky with diapers or men's room sex or dirty text messages to underage boys or Governor Boink-inator? Nooooooo…….

    • Weenus299

      Sen. Richard Penis (D-South Dickota) is not amused.

  • AJWjr.
    • BarackMyWorld

      Worth watching just for the 70s hair.

      UPDATE: Get a life, Fister Roboto.

  • Weenus299

    This never would've happened in the Johnson administration.

    • BarackMyWorld

      LBJ sounds like something a Mexican hooker does.

  • http://www.blogula-rasa.com GinnehRED57

    Cut-off date is June 10.

    As a professional travel agent (yes really, you scalliwagamuffins) it was my responsibility to disclose important restrictions. We got the email in our "official" inbox, where it and its comical subject line got roundfiled.

    But not before we all had a good laugh. Har de har.

    • riverside68

      Owwww,

      I didn't see anything about no cut-off date. Damm, them is some hard earned miles!

  • SayItWithWookies

    Unfortunately this weiner is a long haul without relish. And at the end of it, you're met by an angry ex-aide to Hillary Clinton. If Rep. Weiner had thought about that for a minute he wouldn't be in this situation.

    • riverside68

      Weiner is a little too into this "I've been a bad boy" routine for my taste.

      I am beginning to think he is right where he put himself, and he feels all warm and wet.

  • slithytoves

    Wonkette seems to not only not inspire hope anymore, but also not viewing or posting. Ah fuck, too many double negatives. There it is.

  • SaintRond

    There's an old blues song from the 20's called "Please Warm my Wiener." I'm pasting the lyrics here.

    "I got somethin' to tell ya baby, don't get mad this time,
    If you warm my weiner
    You give me ease all up in my mind
    Baby, please warm my wiener, oh, warm my wiener,
    Won't you just warm my wiener, 'cause he really don't feel right cold
    Now listen here, sweet baby, i ain't no lyin' man,
    If you warm my wiener one time, you gonna want him again
    Baby, please warm my wiener, oh, warm my wiener,
    Won't you just warm my wiener, 'cause he really don't feel right cold
    Said some says it takes hot water, baby, can't you see,
    But your heat, baby's, plenty warm enough for me
    Baby, please warm my wiener, oh, warm my wiener,
    Won't you just warm my wiener, 'cause he really don't feel right cold
    Now listen here sweet baby, it ain't no fake,
    I'm beggin' you baby, now just give your daddy one break
    Baby, please warm my wiener, oh, warm my wiener,
    Won't you just warm my wiener, 'cause he really don't feel right cold
    Now listen here, sweet baby, you know the time's growin' old,
    I don't want you to warm half of my wiener, i want you to warm him all
    Baby, please warm my wiener, oh, warm my wiener,
    Won't you just warm my wiener, 'cause he really don't feel right cold…"

    Now, with that I would say we've all had just about enough wiener to last a lifetime. Now let's just fucking drop it. Peace… God bless…

  • Negropolis

    Spirit has become kind of known for this in the last few years. I like creative ads; sometimes, even the ones that beat you over the head with their over-the-top, not-so-subtle humor. Hard, each way, roundtrip…oh God; it really does get better.

    Wanna' see a weiner show, y'all?

    BTW, we're going to need some Plane Nutz.

    • DaRooster

      Nothin' plane about my nutz…

      (For Bot)

      • Negropolis

        And, for that, you get some p-nuts.

  • Negropolis

    Yes, you are expected to tip, but you can always just give them the shaft…

    Try the veal; I'll be here all night.

  • Negropolis

    FTW

  • BarackMyWorld

    Thumbs up all around.

    I see all these Weiner jokes are making our p-ness bigger.

    EDIT: No thanks to Fisty McTroller.

  • UW8316154

    "Weeping Weiners, Batman!!"

    • DaRooster

      Don't they have antibiotics for that?

  • iburl

    Spirit or Swallow?

  • user-of-owls

    Am I the only one to notice that the tips of the two Spirit's weiners are, um, different?

    • SudsMcKenzie

      One of em looks Muslin.

    • Negropolis

      In what respect, Charlie?

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    The only problem with this deal is that Spirit only flies to terrible places and the planes wreck a lot.

    • riverside68

      pickey pickey

  • bflrtsplk

    Sometimes a hot dog is just a cigar.

  • Redhead

    THIS is more scandalous than Weiner's actual "sex scandal."

  • riverside68

    And the bean bags for it to sit in.

  • DahBoner

    Well, they do always ask which seat you want…

  • DahBoner

    Did anyone notice that bun has 2 weiners in it?

    Kinky…

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    flies outta New York state…

  • Eve8Apples

    If you try to book a flight during blackout dates, are you cockblocked?