• May 26, 2012
DUMB VS DUMBER

June 7, 2011

Highly Anticipated Palin-Bachmann Camp Feud Begins

by Wonkette Jr.  

AND IN THIS CORNER: Newly-hired Bachmann political consultant Ed Rollins has thrown out the much-anticipated first swing in the Sarah Palin camp’s direction, calling America’s Top Grifter names on a radio talk show. Ooooh, venom! Rollins told a radio show host that Sarah Palin is “not serious,” which is kind of something we assumed even Sarah Palin knows about herself, but okay, sure. Not quite the juicy zinger we were looking for, but this is still basically the warm-up round.

From The Politico:

“Sarah has not been serious over the last couple of years,” Rollins told Brian Kilmeade on his radio show, Kilmeade and Friends. “She got the Vice Presidential thing handed to her, she didn’t go to work in the sense of trying to gain more substance, she gave up her governorship.”

Too much wasted breath. Call Sarah Palin a lazy, illiterate quitter clown. BOOM. DONE. [Politico]

{ 253 comments }

Grief_Lessons June 7, 2011 at 5:22 pm

Cue the big vat of jello.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 7, 2011 at 11:59 pm

What's Limbaugh got to do with this?

nounverb911 June 7, 2011 at 5:23 pm

I love the smell of cannibalism in the morning.

elviouslyqueer June 7, 2011 at 5:23 pm

Fuck the popcorn. Pass me the pitcher of margaritas. It is SO on.

PsycWench June 7, 2011 at 9:44 pm

Just don't watch the Sarah Palin fapfest that is apparently "The Undefeated". The New York Post review Sunday says
"But its tone is an excruciating combination of bombast and whining, it’s so outlandishly partisan that it makes Richard Nixon look like Abraham Lincoln and its febrile rush of images — not excluding earthquakes, car wrecks, volcanic eruption and attacking Rottweilers — reminded me of the brainwash movie Alex is forced to sit through in “A Clockwork Orange.” Except no one came along to refresh my pupils with eyedrops."

dyedwool June 7, 2011 at 11:11 pm

Waidaminnit. That review is from the NY POST?! They can usually be counted on to at least be kind-ish to her ilk. Yowza. What will the Fox Review say, then? "I laughed! I cried!"???

Probably. OH. WAIT. They were most likely reviewing the new Glenn Beck show (GBTV)! Makes perfect sense now. They just got shizz screwed up in the mixing booth. Carry on…

Mahousu June 7, 2011 at 5:24 pm

Whoever wins, we lose.

Or rather, whoever loses, we win.

Geminisunmars June 7, 2011 at 5:45 pm

Whatever, we lose.

WordSaladNation June 7, 2011 at 7:29 pm

Or just "whatever."

Negropolis June 8, 2011 at 2:14 am

"T" is how I think we can sum this all up.

AJWjr. June 7, 2011 at 6:07 pm

The mere fact that each of these whores of babble-on have been repeatedly elected to public office is all the proof we need that we have, indeed, lost.

finallyhappy June 7, 2011 at 7:18 pm

I don't follow politics elsewhere except on the largest scale so do morons like this get elected in other countries to parliaments/congresses?

BerkeleyBear June 7, 2011 at 7:33 pm

Yep, although in the more repressive areas of the world it mainly is as puppets of the strongman at the heart of the regime.

Still, there's that right wing nut from the Dutch Parliament who muslim haters keep trotting around, a whole party of crypto facist morons in Britain, ditto in Germany and Italy. So, yeah, humans are pretty universally stupid/gullible.

Jukesgrrl June 7, 2011 at 8:45 pm

And the stupid ones reproduce at a much greater rate than the smart ones.

horsedreamer_1 June 8, 2011 at 9:55 am

Marianne Le Pin does not appreciate your sexism.

Gert Wiilders is a piker compared to the Le Pin family.

user-of-owls June 7, 2011 at 8:11 pm

See Berlusconi, Silvio.

Or if you really want the giggles, see Bucaram, Abdala.*

*Spoiler Alert: Impeached on grounds of mental incapacity.

emmelemm June 7, 2011 at 8:18 pm

Damn. I hate spoilers.

Moonbat June 8, 2011 at 9:40 am

Laugh about it, shout about it, when you've got to choose
Any way you look at it you lose.

KeepFnThatChicken June 7, 2011 at 5:24 pm

SHE'S A GODDAMN TEASE!! She drives, gets attention, makes dicks hard, leaves, and does it again and again and again… all the while being incredibly coy about her plans.

She's a stripper without a pole. No sex for you. It's like the biggest fantasy club ever.

UW8316154 June 7, 2011 at 11:35 pm

Weiner was hotttt for Palin??

horsedreamer_1 June 8, 2011 at 9:56 am

No matter what a Palin tells you, there is no sex at a 9/12 rally. None. Oh, there's teabagging at a 9/12 rally, but you don't want [just] teabagging. But there is no sex at the 9/12 rally.

LetUsBray June 7, 2011 at 5:25 pm

Long, spiteful facebook post in 3…, 2…

WhatTheHolyHeck June 7, 2011 at 5:32 pm

Don't forget defensive and whiny.

BarryOPotter June 7, 2011 at 5:33 pm

Give it a week. Pipper's on vacay…

genxr June 7, 2011 at 5:45 pm

And Trig is still filling out the LLC paperwork for his political consulting company.

DaRooster June 7, 2011 at 6:00 pm

Rollins can just say, "It was that Gotcha Media…" and he should be all good.

emmelemm June 7, 2011 at 6:05 pm

T

MegPasadena June 7, 2011 at 6:52 pm

You forget that she fired her ghost writer RAM due to the twitter leaks.

MLHencken June 8, 2011 at 10:31 am

She is desperately scanning the new Testament for an inappropriate reference to use is said whiny facebook posting.

berkeleyfarm June 8, 2011 at 4:52 pm

Has "Palin" been posting much on the Facebook and the Twitter since the dirt came out on RAM? Becky was her ghostwriter.

Although the ending of the bus tour made perfect sense: nothing much on American history, but a great way to steal Mittens' thunder.

memzilla June 7, 2011 at 5:25 pm

Who will out-crazy the other? The London bookmakers must have a line on this, and we expect Wonkette Jr. to make some trans-Atlantic tweetful inquiries.

nounverb911 June 7, 2011 at 5:27 pm

All of them, Katie.

BarryOPotter June 7, 2011 at 5:35 pm

Hot damn! That will never get old! Until it does, but it hasn't yet, so um… yeah, Katie, what NV911 said.

nounverb911 June 7, 2011 at 5:40 pm

Sarah Palin, the grift that keeps on giving.

hagajim June 7, 2011 at 5:27 pm

I'm not sure calling Sarah something in 140 characters would be appropriate, unless it was useless cunty bitch!

taylormattd June 7, 2011 at 5:27 pm

Rollins, pffft. Fucking Bachmann will lose this war with that washed-up loser uttering coherent sentences.

Because you know damn well Palin is going to hire someone like Charlie Sheen to scream about how Bachmann is a two-bit whore who murders grandma's 9/11 medicare fetuses, or something.

genxr June 7, 2011 at 5:32 pm

We support the fetuses who fight for our freedom overseas and tax cuts also!

GOPCrusher June 7, 2011 at 5:37 pm

Rollins hasn't done nothing since he left Black Flag.

genxr June 7, 2011 at 5:46 pm

No kidding. What was that spoken word bullshit?

horsedreamer_1 June 8, 2011 at 9:58 am

His Rollins Band album from 2000 closed with 15 minutes of him/the band/et. al. lifting weights. That is so bad, it's good.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 7, 2011 at 5:57 pm

He was flogging pesticides?

Terry June 7, 2011 at 6:28 pm

No, Palin needs to hire that Baldwin brother who's gone all fundy.

anniegetyerfun June 8, 2011 at 1:34 am

OMG YES. Billy? That would be so full of FAIL that I would die of happiness.

_MISS_T_ June 8, 2011 at 1:51 am

I think it's Stephen – the ugly one (big surprise there!)

The one that was never in anything we've seen. Billy was hot back in the day and had a semi decent career I think

anniegetyerfun June 8, 2011 at 2:04 am

Ah. I never could sort the auxiliary Baldwins out.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 7, 2011 at 5:27 pm

And, Bachmann can be described as serious how?

nounverb911 June 7, 2011 at 5:29 pm

Seriously deranged?

donner_froh June 7, 2011 at 5:39 pm

Certainly not by hiring Ed Rollins.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 7, 2011 at 5:42 pm

Ah yes. Ed Rollins, the Bob Schrum of Conservative politics.

Nothingisamiss June 7, 2011 at 5:41 pm

Would that the interviewer asked for follow up.

BerkeleyBear June 7, 2011 at 7:35 pm

Seriously damaged goods.

ibwilliamsi June 7, 2011 at 7:47 pm

Bachmann takes herself very seriously.

anniegetyerfun June 8, 2011 at 1:34 am

You say "serious", I say "certifiable." Potato, potahto.

SayItWithWookies June 7, 2011 at 5:27 pm

Sarah Palin has not been serious? Easy with the harsh rhetoric there, Rollins — no reason to get all hyperbolic about it. Next you'll be saying the Fukushima reactors haven't been operating at optimal effectiveness for the last three months.

iburl June 7, 2011 at 5:47 pm

"She got the Vice Presidential thing handed to her" is also not fair. It was not handed to her, it was placed at her feet. (because McCain is too old to know wtf he is doing anymore.)

jus_wonderin June 8, 2011 at 10:24 am

"Has anybody seen my Vice Presidential thing? I know I put it down somewhere around here."

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 7, 2011 at 5:28 pm

Or, Ann Coulter would be a female version of Bachmann, if Bachmann's husband has anything to do with it.

smokefilledroommate June 7, 2011 at 5:36 pm

I don't think Ann Coulter is a female version of anything.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 7, 2011 at 5:46 pm

You haven't seen the "Alien" movies?

Angry_Marmot June 7, 2011 at 9:59 pm
KeepFnThatChicken June 7, 2011 at 10:08 pm

Such a terrible movie, such a terrible truth.

nounverb911 June 7, 2011 at 5:28 pm

This should bump Weiner's weiner off the front pages.

mog253 June 7, 2011 at 7:52 pm

Thank God, really tired of that old thing.

CliveWarren June 7, 2011 at 5:28 pm

Sarah has 6 pearl necklaces on her chest at all times? I blame all the old white men fapping all around her…

Gorillionaire June 7, 2011 at 5:41 pm

And Peter North.

CliveWarren June 7, 2011 at 6:23 pm

Oh, Peter… The man with the original
starbursts .

AJWjr. June 7, 2011 at 6:13 pm

She earned those beads at Mardi Gras.

Steverino247 June 7, 2011 at 7:10 pm

Bukkake libel!!!

memzilla June 7, 2011 at 5:29 pm

Grift-O-Matic vs. Crazy Eyes! Bets up on the catfight, please!

Left_Leftie June 8, 2011 at 1:16 am

10 on the Grifter. But the fight will knock them both out of the ring!

MLHencken June 8, 2011 at 10:33 am

Wave Motion Fist:

Hadouken!

WhatTheHolyHeck June 7, 2011 at 5:29 pm

Reason #2,846 to bring back Celebrity Deathmatch.

GOPCrusher June 7, 2011 at 5:40 pm

I think it could knock Oprah vs. Rosie off as my all-time favorite.

ManchuCandidate June 7, 2011 at 5:30 pm

CATFIGHT!!!!

MLHencken June 8, 2011 at 10:34 am

Ted Nugent will referee.

KeepFnThatChicken June 7, 2011 at 5:30 pm

No, scratch what I said earlier. I'm going to be civil about this. Especially in light of ancient codes that demonstrate the importance of certain, quick and effective judgments; where moral certainty is shared between both of these contestants, and few people will get in their way or dissuade them from proceeding forward. Not just for expedience, but for a reliability in their choices.

Pistols at two paces.

elviouslyqueer June 7, 2011 at 5:50 pm

Lock and load, baby!

Biel_ze_Bubba June 7, 2011 at 5:55 pm

Why the two paces? We can't afford any mistakes here.

KeepFnThatChicken June 7, 2011 at 6:01 pm

Fine. Taped-fist knife fighting.

ChessieNefercat June 7, 2011 at 6:21 pm

We don't want them distracted by colliding boobage?

Sharkey June 7, 2011 at 6:09 pm

And the loser has to get a historectomy. And a laryngectomy. Medicare has to pay for it, but those are the breaks.

ChessieNefercat June 7, 2011 at 6:22 pm

And lobotomy. Done right this time!

Sharkey June 7, 2011 at 8:03 pm

<DIV>You just have to wonder whether that's already been done.</DIV> <DIV style=”FONT-FAMILY: times new roman, new york, times, serif; FONT-SIZE: 12pt”> <DIV style=”FONT-FAMILY: times new roman, new york, times, serif; FONT-SIZE: 12pt”>

Biel_ze_Bubba June 7, 2011 at 7:04 pm

Clearly, Sarah's had a "historectomy" already. All knowledge of US history has been surgically (or maybe pharmaceutically) removed from her brain.

BerkeleyBear June 7, 2011 at 7:41 pm

They'd manage to shoot 25 bystanders and miss each other entirely. Even the knife fighting probably wouldn't work – they both have had work done and probably can't feel their faces.

I'd suggest a Liquid Drano drinking contest, after telling them both God promised to keep his chosen one safe from all harm.

_MISS_T_ June 8, 2011 at 1:57 am

God yes let them re-enact Burr v Hamilton in Wehawken (sp?)!!

What better way to show Merika that they're JUST LIKE the founders? I love this idea!

I want Bachmann to be Burr. She'll survive but everyone will hate her. Sarah as Hamilton…well I would truly hate to see her martyred but I'll go for any ending at this point. Can't wait to see the end of both

metamarcisf June 7, 2011 at 5:30 pm

Bachmann is an overfed, long haired leaping gnome.

ChessieNefercat June 7, 2011 at 6:22 pm

Yeah, should we upfist you or downfist you?

ChessieNefercat June 8, 2011 at 8:13 am

I'm going nuts trying to snag another bit of that lyric out of my cluttered brain. For some reason, google would be cheating. Is this the song with blah blah spill the wine blah blah kick the bird? Drug-addled 60s tune?

Moonbat June 8, 2011 at 9:50 am

That's the one. War, post-Eric Burdon.

Spill the wine, drink that girl…

metamarcisf June 8, 2011 at 10:08 am

Spill the wine, dig that girl

ChessieNefercat June 8, 2011 at 11:45 am

Closed captioning is a wonderful thing. I can't tell what people are saying easily. When captions came in and were included all TVs, K-Tel ads (Time-Life these days?) helped me find out what the words were to all those songs out there.

And even then, they don't always make sense.

nounverb911 June 7, 2011 at 5:31 pm

George W. Bush?

Negropolis June 8, 2011 at 2:21 am

[/thread]

MiniMencken June 7, 2011 at 5:31 pm

Now, tell us something we don't know…

HistoriCat June 7, 2011 at 5:31 pm

"a lazy, illiterate quitter clown"

Bumper sticker length – perfect.

Nothingisamiss June 7, 2011 at 5:48 pm

And so…melodic.

drrty_martini June 7, 2011 at 5:53 pm

It's the perfect appositive – like Spy's "short-fingered vulgarian" used before every mention of Donald Trump.

gef05 June 7, 2011 at 5:33 pm

"Call Sarah Palin a lazy, illiterate quitter clown half-baked lying tundra bitch."

Fixed.

KeepFnThatChicken June 7, 2011 at 5:59 pm

how about a lazy illiterate quitter half-baked lying tundra quitter bitch?

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 7, 2011 at 5:34 pm

Tim Pawlenty must be wondering how many breast he has to grow so that someone will pay attention to him.

Of course, the jokes on him, because it is the crazy that wins for the GOP…., most of their voter's prefer a boyish look.

elviouslyqueer June 7, 2011 at 5:50 pm

Breasts? Hell, Pawlenty needs to grow a dick first.

ChessieNefercat June 7, 2011 at 6:24 pm

Aw, now you're just going to confuse him.

trampndirtdown June 7, 2011 at 10:57 pm

He needs to stop getting his hair cut at Fantastic Sam's.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 7, 2011 at 5:52 pm

He's gonna have to boff a teenager pretty damn soon, if he wants to stay on top of the GOP ratings game.

Grief_Lessons June 7, 2011 at 5:52 pm

Huckabee grew a set and it didn't help.

BerkeleyBear June 7, 2011 at 7:42 pm

Helped him in Arkansas, then he decided to slim down for the national audience and lost the boobage (but not the stupid).

Steverino247 June 7, 2011 at 7:13 pm

All of them, Katie.

Chillwaver June 7, 2011 at 5:34 pm

Wow…finally something coming from Bachmann's camp that is not complete, utter bullshit.

RadioJr. June 7, 2011 at 5:35 pm

The clitish are coming!
The clitish are coming!

Lascauxcaveman June 7, 2011 at 5:49 pm

[/ringing bells]

RadioJr. June 7, 2011 at 6:19 pm

They are both fine sliversmiths!

genxr June 7, 2011 at 5:49 pm

Keep ringing her bells.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 7, 2011 at 5:50 pm

Shoot yer guns, and ring yer bells!

donner_froh June 7, 2011 at 5:36 pm

About time we had some fun with the Repubs–all the guys are so fucking dull its tough to stay awake. A couple of GILFs rolling around in the mud is what this campaign needs

ChessieNefercat June 7, 2011 at 6:26 pm

Yes, and if they're muddy enough, the closeted ones can pretend they're boys, ugly, crazy, screechy boys, but…

Sue4466 June 7, 2011 at 5:36 pm

What do you think the chances are that Bachmannn will try to distance herself from Palin by trying to appear rational and knowledgeable?

Yeah, me neither.

ChessieNefercat June 7, 2011 at 6:27 pm

With any luck, they will try to out-crazy each other.

SorosBot June 7, 2011 at 5:37 pm

Just as Palpatine did to Darth Plagueious, Darth Vader attempted with Palpatine, and Darth Malak did with Revan, the apprentice has now turned on the master, seeking to tear her down and become the new master; it always happens happens eventually. We'll see which one wins.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 7, 2011 at 5:49 pm

I will turn your face to alabaster…

manythousands June 7, 2011 at 7:27 pm

Always number two there must be….

Angry_Marmot June 7, 2011 at 10:01 pm

Count Dookie?

Negropolis June 8, 2011 at 2:33 am

The rule of two.

But, the Palin was the apprentice, so it doesn't make sense.

BarryOPotter June 8, 2011 at 8:59 am

Good lord, son! The nerd is strong in you… Nice.

Slim_Pickins June 7, 2011 at 5:37 pm

"Rollins told a radio show host that Sarah Palin is “not serious,” which is kind of something we assumed even Sarah Palin knows about herself, but okay, sure."

Are you certain Palin is that self-aware?

Bonzos_Bed_Time June 7, 2011 at 5:37 pm

Pillow fight!

Negropolis June 8, 2011 at 2:33 am

Underpants Pillow Fight!

politics_nerd June 7, 2011 at 5:37 pm

DIPSHITETTE SHOWDOWN!!!

donner_froh June 7, 2011 at 5:38 pm

Field Marshall Paul von Hindenburg?

CrunchyKnee June 7, 2011 at 5:38 pm

Is Truck or Trick or Trek, whatever his name is, back from shooting the brown Muslins yet? 'Cause I really wonder what he has to say about all this.

No, I actually do not.

GOPCrusher June 7, 2011 at 5:38 pm

Pat Paulson?

finallyhappy June 7, 2011 at 7:20 pm

more serious than these bosannas

Chillwaver June 7, 2011 at 5:39 pm

Sarah's Batshit Mobile must be cruising 100 mph on its way to Minnesota right now…Piper's vacay is definitely ruined this time.

franco_pinyon June 8, 2011 at 12:02 pm

"Batshit Mobile." That settles it, this is the official designation, henceforth.

Nice!

metamarcisf June 7, 2011 at 5:41 pm

Which of these ladies has the kid that ended Jack's career?

Nothingisamiss June 7, 2011 at 5:42 pm

Chevy Chase?

Gorillionaire June 7, 2011 at 5:43 pm

Bachmann's prissy husband will make an excellent interior designer for the White House, you gotta admit.

Lascauxcaveman June 7, 2011 at 5:45 pm

Cleopatra?

Or even Hatshepsut. Whatdya wanna be president for, if you're already a pharaoh?

SorosBot June 7, 2011 at 5:45 pm

Zaphod Beeblebrox?

missemish June 8, 2011 at 9:20 am

42 upfists for youuuuu

horsedreamer_1 June 8, 2011 at 10:00 am

Soros will always have a table at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. In fact, I think he never leaves, & is commenting from there, right now.

metamarcisf June 7, 2011 at 5:45 pm

Carrot Top?

Biel_ze_Bubba June 7, 2011 at 5:47 pm

Fetuses at 20 paces. Roll the cameras!

iburl June 7, 2011 at 5:47 pm

Is it true that Ed Rollins was in Black Flag?

metamarcisf June 7, 2011 at 5:49 pm

That was Henry Rollins. Lot's of people make that mistake.

genxr June 7, 2011 at 5:52 pm

Ed Rollins was responsible for the post-Black Flag spoken word albums.

iburl June 7, 2011 at 6:26 pm

Thanks for clearing that up.

Is it true that David Bowie died in the Alamo?

ChessieNefercat June 7, 2011 at 6:29 pm

No, that was David Knife.

metamarcisf June 8, 2011 at 10:09 am

That was Davy Crockett. Lot's of people make that mistake.

SorosBot June 7, 2011 at 7:46 pm

No, Ed Rollins is the Phillies' shortstop and leadoff hitter.

horsedreamer_1 June 8, 2011 at 10:04 am

With that on-base percentage!?

genxr June 7, 2011 at 5:48 pm

Rufus T. Firefly?

problemwithcaring June 7, 2011 at 5:49 pm

So does micro-dick Ed Rollins daring to speak ill of LouSarah's qualifications mean Faux News and the GOP are serious about destroying Quitbilly's presidential aspirations? 'Cause you know all that means is that she will definitely run now – out of spite.

ChessieNefercat June 7, 2011 at 6:31 pm

Does she ever do anything that is not triggered by spite? She spews more acid than the alien queen in Alien. And Aliens. And Alien 3. and Alien 4 (there were four, right).

Biel_ze_Bubba June 8, 2011 at 12:11 am

This is shaping up to be "Predator vs. Alien."

iburl June 8, 2011 at 1:49 pm

Oh, is Mark Foley running?

Left_Leftie June 8, 2011 at 1:27 am

Isn't that what she's doing now? Rolling her non-campaign bus through cities for spite? Romney practically got kicked off the Front page for her whistle stop tour on the day he announced!

Tommmcattt June 7, 2011 at 5:51 pm

See, this is the kind of thing that convinces me that God has a sense of humor: He gets on the phone to each of them and tells them to run.

God must have a humongous popcorn budget.

Nothingisamiss June 7, 2011 at 5:51 pm

Let there be Rush weighing in on this weighty matter! Let the tears roll down Glenn Beck's face! May there be weeping and wailing throughout the land!

A choice must be made….which batshit crazy shall we fly with?! Which witch?!

nounverb911 June 7, 2011 at 5:54 pm

Christine O'Donnell?

DaSandman June 7, 2011 at 6:14 pm

They could pillow fight ATOP Mount Rush—more.

Cause there goddam well will never be any less of him.

KeepFnThatChicken June 7, 2011 at 5:52 pm

They both attend church at the Assembly of Goddamn.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 8, 2011 at 12:13 am

Assembly of Godawful, more likely.

Nothingisamiss June 7, 2011 at 5:53 pm

What's great, also, too, is that Sarah is so forgiving. I see her and Michele remaining friends throughout the feces throwing.

hahahaha……….oh, yes. The margaritas most definitely, not only the popcorn!

DaRooster June 7, 2011 at 5:55 pm

BRING THAT SHIT ON!!

"…she didn’t go to work in the sense of trying to gain more substance…"

Like she could… Peanut Butter doesn't hold a whole lot of knowledge…

metamarcisf June 7, 2011 at 5:55 pm

I can't figure out how to get World Net Daily to accept my posts.

KeepFnThatChicken June 7, 2011 at 6:03 pm

Always sign with "Where's the real birth certificate?"

BarryOPotter June 8, 2011 at 8:56 am

I can't figure out how to get World Net Daily to accept my posts.

Dinner, wine and a heaping helping of sweet-and-crazy talk…

notreelyhelping June 7, 2011 at 5:56 pm

Palin's eyes narrow…Bachmann's eyes swell…and then it's all hair and nails, baby.

smitallica June 7, 2011 at 5:56 pm

Sarah Palin is "not serious."

Unless by "serious" you mean "seriously fucking stupid."

savethispatient June 7, 2011 at 6:05 pm

For some odd reason, this thought popped into my head:
"She's as serious as cancer,
When she says Rhythm is a Dancer"

The 90s have a lot to answer for…

Biel_ze_Bubba June 7, 2011 at 5:56 pm

John McCain, obviously.

metamarcisf June 7, 2011 at 5:58 pm

Now all we need is for the gal from the Progressive Auto Insurance commercials to weigh in.

Negropolis June 8, 2011 at 2:37 am

I love Flo. Seriously. She's my pretend-girlfriend.

Sharkey June 7, 2011 at 5:58 pm

Lizard People?

KeepFnThatChicken June 7, 2011 at 5:58 pm

Jeff Skilling?

philpjfry June 7, 2011 at 6:01 pm

Man, I can't wait for the lies and half truths they will be telling about each other. This could take the english language into the next evolutionary step and set science back a hundred years. Yaaaay America

KeepFnThatChicken June 7, 2011 at 6:06 pm

The Vagina Demagogues

RedneckMuslin June 7, 2011 at 6:08 pm

Well, there goes Bachman's chances. Faux Noise will not stand for this. You don't speak ill of their celeb and get away with it.

iburl June 8, 2011 at 12:41 am

I don't know, maybe Mr. Ailes casting couch could use new blood. Also, catfights are great for ratings.

Gopherit June 7, 2011 at 6:10 pm

Wait, which one is the dumber? My stupidity sensor doesn't have that fine a calibration.

problemwithcaring June 7, 2011 at 6:21 pm

Mine is: Palin is more stupid. Palin knows nothing. Bachman knows things — but they are all crazy things.

Gopherit June 7, 2011 at 6:32 pm

I dunno. That Paul Revere story was pretty goddamned crazy.

ChessieNefercat June 7, 2011 at 6:46 pm

Which of course doesn't preclude it also being stupid, especially if you watch the video of Princess Sparkledunce bullshitting away while her burnt briquet of a brain lurched around her skull tossing random words at her yammering pie hole.

Yep, crazy and stupid. Olympic gold medal stupid.

problemwithcaring June 7, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Yes, but I submit that the Paul Revere story was merely "crazy-stupid" – or, to put it simply, another strand of stupidity.

Trust me – I grew up in the South, therefore my stupidity sensor is finely tuned instrument. But now you have got my "crazy sensor" acting funny. Which one is more bat-shit?

Gopherit June 7, 2011 at 7:34 pm

True. I could see that being a way to pass the time in the South.

anniegetyerfun June 8, 2011 at 1:43 am

Bachmann is by far crazier. BY FAR. And I come from a family that included a Pentecostal Holocaust survivor, so I know batshit insanity when I see its eyes darting back and forth like that.

Negropolis June 8, 2011 at 10:39 pm

That's about as accurate a description as I've ever seen of this showdown. lol

BTW, Bachmann is a lawyer. A bat-shit insane one, but it proves that she went to law school and passed the bar. I don't know after how many tries, but she actually did something.

Bachmann is far more dangerous than Palin, mostly because she's a true believer.

RavenRant June 7, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Palin is definitely dumber, but it's a horse race. Bachman has a slight edge in crazy. But Sarah wins hands down in hate, spite, and viciousness.

emmelemm June 7, 2011 at 8:22 pm

Yeah, I have to say: Palin is dumb as a post, but she really does have the grifter gene and a gift for using it. I don't believe for a minute she believes a word she's saying. She's just rolling the grifter bus and milking this thing for money and affirmation.

Bachmann, on the other hand, appears to believe genuinely crazy shit.

Which is worse? I dunno. May they both die in a fire.

AJWjr. June 7, 2011 at 9:22 pm

$arah doesn't understand a word she's saying. If she did, she may or may not believe it.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 8, 2011 at 12:15 am

"My stupidity sensor doesn't have that fine a calibration."

Mine doesn't go that high.

anniegetyerfun June 8, 2011 at 1:44 am

Mine goes to 11, but that isn't high enough.

DaSandman June 7, 2011 at 6:13 pm

Yes! I see a Showtime special. Sort of a slow motion, lingere bedecked, fight til first orgasm, right wing lunatic lesbo cage match.

The prize would be the prized Red State Ruby Strap on that the winner would use on the loser.

Vigeriously.

All of Tea Bag Nation's heads would explode at the same time.

Ladies and Gentlemen, place your bets…

fartknocker June 7, 2011 at 6:14 pm

Donald Trump?

AJWjr. June 7, 2011 at 6:16 pm

Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho.

Tundra Grifter June 7, 2011 at 6:18 pm

I'm down with "lazy, illiterate quitter clown."

Just watch that "Grifter" stuff…

RavenRant June 7, 2011 at 7:00 pm

It's an homage.

Tundra Grifter June 8, 2011 at 12:25 pm

"Homage?"

Are you suggestin I'm a little light in the loafers?

RavenRant June 8, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Not at all. Not that there would be anything wrong with that!

Tundra Grifter June 7, 2011 at 6:19 pm

I wanna know what Lou Sarah has to say about Easy Ed Rollins.

You betcha!

poorgradstudent June 7, 2011 at 6:22 pm

I want to feel like a better American citizen than my mother who's always following the latest Dead White Woman and/or Child show pushed by CNN instead of the far more important saga of America's total collapse, but I have to admit I'm looking forward to this particular Media Freakshow.

finallyhappy June 7, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Are there more than Natalee and Caylee-I have heard those names so much- you would think no one else was ever killed/raped/murdered. With the time wasted- yes, WASTED- on those two- maybe a few others could be located.

poorgradstudent June 7, 2011 at 9:40 pm

Exactly.

A thousand years from now historians will think that in 21st century America there were never any murders of any adult men or minority women and children.

JackObin June 7, 2011 at 6:24 pm

Hey Ed, this entire nation is not serious. That would include yourself.

poorgradstudent June 7, 2011 at 6:26 pm

Oh my God, what if there's a Palin-Bachman debate moderated by Nancy Grace? The rates of shrill and stupid would be unprecedented!

Native_of_SL_UT June 7, 2011 at 6:26 pm

Wait, Kilmeade has a radio show? It's like special ed radio, right?

anniegetyerfun June 8, 2011 at 1:46 am

I HAVE A MICROFONE YAY YAY YAY!

PuckStopsHere June 7, 2011 at 6:44 pm

Sarah Palin is a lazy, illiterate quitter clown.

ChurchofRealism June 7, 2011 at 6:57 pm

Yes, but her Adam's Apple is so striking.

orygoon June 7, 2011 at 7:06 pm

I have to be depressed beyond measure about Prominent Women In Politics. This is just effing degrading.

finallyhappy June 7, 2011 at 7:26 pm

This is not Prominent Women in Politics- this is Stupid Pet Tricks in politics

AJWjr. June 7, 2011 at 9:24 pm

Or Stupid Pet Rocks.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 8, 2011 at 12:18 am

Well, it's not as if the Prominent Men in Politics are setting the bar out of reach.

Steverino247 June 7, 2011 at 7:11 pm

Generalissimo Chiang Kai Shek?

Flat_Earther June 7, 2011 at 7:16 pm

Girl Fight! Bring the cell phones…

Flat_Earther June 7, 2011 at 7:18 pm

That's Tranny Coulter

Callyson June 7, 2011 at 7:28 pm

Only one response seems to fit this story:
The L Word: Catfight Montage http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGnQul5LRSk&fe...

Lazy Media June 7, 2011 at 7:58 pm

Palin. Bachmann. Nude. Jello. Pay-per-fucking-view. Anybody who makes that happen is an instant billionaire. You're welcome.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 8, 2011 at 12:21 am

And the winner is clearly more qualified to be President. That's a win all around, right?

*crickets, chirping*

Right?

ttommyunger June 7, 2011 at 8:10 pm

Au Contraire, sonny. Want to compare ledger sheets? This bitch is dead serious.

Jukesgrrl June 7, 2011 at 9:00 pm

My money's on whichever one the Kochs support. The Republicans are wasting their money on a convention. The bros will choose.

trampndirtdown June 7, 2011 at 10:48 pm

Stephen Colbert?

ThundercatHo June 7, 2011 at 11:29 pm

Oh boy, this is gonna be great. No worse (fr)enemy than a former bff. They know all your secrets, all your drunken confessions and the size of your husband's penis.

Dances_For_Ham June 7, 2011 at 11:31 pm
BarackMyWorld June 7, 2011 at 11:41 pm

This is just like "Mean Girls" except both of them are the dumb one.

iburl June 7, 2011 at 11:49 pm

Palin University

101HIS – American History – The Alamo and America: David Bowie, Sonny Crockett, and Randy Travis defend America from encroaching Spaniards, down there.

102HIS – American History – The Flag and America: The history of Dolly Madison, flag sewer and snack cake pioneer, for America.

101MAT – Mathematics – The Bible Code… Fact or fiction? Buy Goldline.

102MAT – Mathematics – Economics in America: Gold Ingots, Gold Coins or seeing your family sold into slavery, make the right choice for America.

101LIT – English Only Literature – The Constitution: Heritage, flag, and nation, and the bible.

102LIT – English Only Literature – The Declaration of Independence: More important than any newspapers or magazines, for America.

Congratulations, you are now a graduate of Palin University.

Left_Leftie June 8, 2011 at 1:17 am

Newty? He's already on vacation.

Left_Leftie June 8, 2011 at 1:31 am

I refudiate this squimish also!

Negropolis June 8, 2011 at 2:10 am

It's funny, because their both woman and should fight.

Even I've been a little offended by the forced comparison in the mainstream media. One of these women is a true believer, a woman that had children and fostered children because she actually cared about them, and holds an elected office, and one of these women is a whore in almost every sense of the word, has had children as political props, and gave up the highest office she ever had. I wouldn't vote for either of them, but the comparison is pretty strained, and if the media had any kind of shame or was thoughtful, they've stop this shit.

I really can't complain much, though. After all, they are Republican Rosemary's Children. This is a family where women and minorities are routinely chosen as props, so I can't be glad when the media takes their lead and compares to vastly different women against each other just because they're both women.

RavenRant June 8, 2011 at 4:00 pm

She got paid pretty well for those foster children. MN pays $30/day, 365 days a year, tax free. Multiply by 23 foster children, it adds up to some serious bank.

Plus, Miss 'Stop Federal Spending' has collected $750,000 in farm subsidies over a decade. I'm sure she, a tax attorney and Congress Critter and her husband, a physician and 'pray away the gay' 'therapist', have been out in the fields hoeing rows and tassling corn.

How many welfare queens does that add up to?

Negropolis June 8, 2011 at 10:30 pm

You're not arguing that she's less serious than Palin, though, are you?

RavenRant June 8, 2011 at 11:12 pm

No. Victoria Jackson is more serious than Palin. (They will run her in 2016.) I do think there is enough stone cold crazy out of Bachman’s mouth on video to inoculate us from a Bachman presidency. However, the stupidity of our country is occasionally breathtaking. Apologies, I can’t upfist you. I am replying via email, and I can’t find your comment in the thread. Intense debate has some quirks, at least on my computer.

SonofSpermcube June 8, 2011 at 4:53 am

6 necklaces? Is it Mardi Gras or something?

easybaked June 8, 2011 at 6:20 am

"We are the GOP crack suicide squad! Suicide squad, attack! "

lochnessmonster June 8, 2011 at 6:33 am

Meh…more interested in the comedy show Blago is putting on daily at his trial.

littlebigdaddy June 8, 2011 at 7:27 am

So is this ´´Michelle vs. Sarah´´ in the porno meaning of the phrase? If so, I think I will stay off the interwebz for awhile.

littlebigdaddy June 8, 2011 at 7:29 am

Rollins has gone downhill since his days in Black Flag.

LiveToServeYa June 8, 2011 at 8:53 am

This desperately calls out for Sara Benincasa to team with Tina Fey in many wonderful skits.

crybabyboehner June 9, 2011 at 2:58 pm

actually Kristen Wiig and Tina Fey are probably working on it as we speak.

thedeathofirony June 8, 2011 at 9:58 am

Jay Leno? Oh yeah, that was NBC prime time he wasn't serious about…

horsedreamer_1 June 8, 2011 at 10:00 am

William Henry Harrison?

GOPCrusher June 8, 2011 at 12:17 pm

I think he was TOO serious about the Presidency.

horsedreamer_1 June 8, 2011 at 10:06 am

Ed Rollins has been a has-been since the first time Ross Perot left the '92 race.

But the GOP, a party of has-beens, keeps giving him work. Meanwhile, former Carter pollster/adviser Hamilton Jordan — as well a '92 Perot advisor — cannot find work with the Dems to save his life.

4TheTurnstiles June 8, 2011 at 10:12 am

I heard Donna Brazile is still looking for a job, after the *fantastic* work she did putting Gore in the white house against a piss-poor opponent.

franco_pinyon June 8, 2011 at 11:50 am

Hahahaha… hilarious! Take that, Ann.

Redhead June 8, 2011 at 11:54 am

Wait. Someone working for Bachmann's campaign actually has a grasp on reality? Now THIS is scandalous!

BZ1 June 8, 2011 at 12:19 pm

jello wrestling, anyone, anyone…

RavenRant June 8, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Thank you. I do try.

berkeleyfarm June 8, 2011 at 5:26 pm

Solidarity upfists! I seem to be hovering around 70, not bad considering I don't post much and am usually late in commenting because I don't Wonkette on the job.

Looks like she quit the tour as predicted last weekend* – "family vacation" down to one sullen child and creepy parents. Now we're hearing "oh I'm going to the Sudan" (probably paid for by Franklin Graham) and "oh I want to meet Margaret Thatcher". If she could dig Reagan up to pose with him, she would.

* I was on retreat and not checking internetz.

LetUsBray June 8, 2011 at 5:29 pm

I'm not so good at the HTML thing, but Lady Thatcher would prefer that Princess Sarah fuck the hell off (so there's one thing the old battle-axe and I agree on):
http://www.politicususa.com/en/sarah-palin-thatch...

Negropolis June 8, 2011 at 2:17 am

lol @ "auxiliary Baldwins"

problemwithcaring June 8, 2011 at 8:51 pm

"Pentecostal Holocaust survivor, so I know batshit insanity."

Dayum! Yes. I bow to your superior expertise.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: